Weiss Kreuz Fan Fiction ❯ Not Now, Not Ever ❯ What He Meant to Say... ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I don't own Weiss, at least not when I'm awake. This is a work of fanfiction and is not for profit.

 

A/N: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far. You've given me the courage to post chapter 2. Also, you're a little scary and I'm afraid of what will happen if I don't.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 2

 

Aya kissed his sister goodbye and promised to think about what she'd said. He kept his promise, too. Walking back to the Koneko after lunch with Aya-chan that was all he'd been able to think about. He reflected on his history with Yohji. They'd been friends once. It wasn't one of those fast, easy friendships that some people make. No, theirs had been born of necessity and grew over time.

 

In the beginning, Aya had barely acknowledged his teammates. Eventually, he'd realized that might not be the most effective team-building methodology so he'd adjusted his approach and opened up...a little. He'd sternly told himself it was only so that his teammates didn't hate him. So that they would be sure to watch his back as he did theirs. The change was certainly not born of loneliness. And he definitely did not need or desire companionship. He was fine on his own. But, his team would be safer if there was at least some camaraderie.

 

Yohji had been the most receptive to the change. He'd made an effort to continue drawing Aya out. It had never come across as obligation or duty, rather as a genuine interest in getting to know the man behind the mask. When Aya had started talking, Yohji had hung on his every word like it was life preserver.

 

Aya, for his part, found that he rather enjoyed talking to Yohji. He could be quiet and attentive without making Aya feel he was being `put on the spot' or overwhelmed with attention. He was also extremely non-judgmental. Considering that there was very little the hedonist hadn't tried at least once himself, who was he to weigh another in the balance? Aya found himself opening up more and more to Yohji, being completely honest and, for whatever reason, endowing the man with more trust than he'd given anyone other than his sister.

 

After a time, he recognized that he had gotten to know precious little about Yohji and decided to rectify that. He went out to clubs with him a few times, but got the impression that the playboy curbed his behavior for Aya's benefit. Still, it had been a learning experience. He learned how ignorant of the man he really was. `I don't really know him at all. All he has ever shown me is the same thing he shows all the people in this bar, all the girls in the Koneko, and everyone from Kritiker. One face for everyone and it's not even real!' Refusing to acknowledge the hurt those thoughts provoked, he'd confronted Yohji. Glass-green eyes had widened in surprise.

 

“What?”

 

“I want to know why. Why the playboy persona? Why the extrovert and not the introvert? Why any charade at all? Why not just `Kudoh Yohji'?” He didn't know enough about the man's past to know why he'd even want to hide. He knew about Asuka, they all did. You could only scream the woman's name out in sleep so many times before housemates started asking questions. Having the room nearest to Yohji's, Aya hadn't been in Weiss long before he got an explanation. But, since then, he'd found out little else.

 

Yohji plastered on his best smirk. He attempted a laugh, but it came out hollow, no mirth, no warmth. “You know me, Aya. What you see is what you get,” he said with a wink. He got a scowl in response. `Damn! Since when does he read me like this? I'm supposed to be the one who can read what people feel. I'm the one that peels back other people's layers. It usually keeps the attention off of me, so why isn't it working with him? You know why. It's because he's special…' That little voice inside his head could be so annoying! `Do not get ideas! He is your friend and teammate. He may be the most beautiful person and most fascinating enigma you've ever known, but he's not interested, so let it go.'

 

Yohji's heart was trapped behind a wall of glass. The wall was strong enough to protect it from many of the strongest blows, but it didn't really hide it that well. For those who took the time to look, there was always a glimpse of it in his eyes. He grinned again, then attempted a suggestive leer. “Why don't you come upstairs with me and I'll show you `just Kudoh Yohji,' Aya-baby.” Yohji glanced over see if his nonchalant attitude was working or if he'd at least managed to piss the man off enough with the proposition and nickname to deflect his curiosity. He was snared by glittering amethyst eyes that held an edge of steel. He knew better than to continue trying to play it off. It would only further infuriate the temperamental redhead and endanger his own life. `Or my anatomy! Eep!' He took a deep breath and tried to think of what to say. Fast. He had already hesitated too long.

 

“The truth is, I just never thought anyone would notice.”

 

“That's not an answer, Kudoh.” It came out sharper than he'd meant it. `Gods, why am I letting this get to me? I don't care whether that's the real Kudoh. OK, I'm pissed because I opened up to him and he's not repaying in kind. It's unfair, that's all. I'm not jealous that Ken and Omi probably know his secrets. Who cares? I'm just disappointed. Why doesn't he trust me? No, it doesn't matter. He can keep his secrets. I don't care.' “You know what? Forget it. It's none of my business. You can keep your fucking secrets.” The conversation ended with the resounding slam of his bedroom door.

 

Later that night, Yohji had stopped by. Dressed to kill and armed only with his sunglasses and an apology, he tried to make amends. “Look, Aya, I'm sorry about earlier. Please don't take it personally. It really isn't that I don't want to talk to you, it's that I don't want to talk about it with anyone.” Aya still did not look happy. `Right, so maybe I should have said that another way.'

 

“Like I said, it's none of my business, right?” `He can't even look me in the eye. Has to conceal himself behind those ridiculous glasses. What the hell is he hiding, anyway? Ugh! I. Do. Not. Care.' He almost had himself convinced.

 

“That's not what I meant and you know it,” Yohji sighed, frustrated. Aya looked at him as if to say `why are you still darkening my doorway.' He sighed again and ran his hand through his hair. “I really, really don't want to fight about this. Aside from Kritiker's shrinks, you're the first one to ask. Just give me a little time, huh?” Yohji had the most earnest, pleading expression in his sparkling emerald eyes.

 

But Aya was hurt and confused by his own feelings, a bad combination on the best day. And this was not the best day. As a result, he was not capable of being reasonable. “Whatever, Kudoh. I don't need your apologies or excuses. I don't even know why I asked in the first place, it's not like I really care,” he spat.

 

Yohji winced.

 

Aya pretended not to notice.

 

“Right, well, sorry to have bothered you. I guess I'll just be going…” he trailed off. Aya tried not to see the defeated look in the eyes that wouldn't quite meet his own. He also tried not to notice the tantalizing amount of golden skin exposed above the hip-hugging leather pants and below the violet t-shirt that was two sizes too small so that it hugged every well-defined muscle. `Nearly the color of my eyes,' he mused and almost smiled. Then, remembering that he was angry, he glared for good measure. Yohji seemed to take the final hint and slipped out the door without another word or backward glance.