Yu-Gi-Oh! Fan Fiction ❯ Yami Bakura: Advice Giver ❯ Ryou is going out! ( Chapter 4 )

Hi everyone! Seems like this story is kinda popular for its second day of being around! ^_^;;;;;; Anyway, onward with the Advice giving!

Yami Bakura: ^_^ Yay!

Ryou: [looks at viewers] Hi everyone! I love you all!

Yami Bakura: For some weird reason, my assistant seems to have disappeared. Oh well, time for advice giving!

Dear Yami bakura, the Tomb Robber. [cough]suck up[cough]
hello.
I have a problem (no, not the mental one, although no one can help with that, not even you!)
I heard that the Pharaoh is very tasty, and I'm a cannibal, I was wondering where I could find him and how I could restrain him so I could kill and eat him!(not just for my satisfaction. but for the safety of the intier Galaxy)
--
and I also want to know how I can get rid of my Aibou's stupid brother without his parents relising it was me.
anyway, help me and I'll repay you in lots and lots of [cough] stolen [cough] gold. :D
bye bye.
Yc (a.k.a, Yami Casie)

Bakura: Hehehe some people are good for the world!

Dear Yami Casie,

Go to Domino City and just eat a midget with spiky hair that is in 3 different colors, if you find a puzzle with an eye on it, eat that too. The Pharaoh is in that puzzle! And just get rabid Dobermans to attack your Aibou's brother, get some of the blood and smear it on your Aibou! Then run off like the Road Runner!

Yami Bakura

------

Yami Bakura: [wipes forehead with hand] I am such a giving person!

Ryou: ^_^ I love the world!

Yami Bakura: [gets another letter]

dear the all mighty lord of darkness who i adore very much theres a girl in my school who annoys me so much i want to kill her give me some ways in doin so
from the all mighty thief queen

Ryou: Why would anyone want to kill anyone?

Yami Bakura: For fun!

Dear all mighty thief queen,

Push her in front of a car, but make sure you glue her butt to the road before any cars come, its more of an insurance.

Yami Bakura

--------

Ryou: You mean like car insurance?

Yami Bakura: u-u No..

Me: [comes in] You have more letters Yami Bakura!

Yami Bakura: Cool!

Me: [hands him a letter]

Waz up Yami Bakura,
My brothers won't stop bugging me.I feel like sticking a knife through their wretched bodies.I don't know what I should do.Should I leave them alone or beat the living [beep] outta them?
Lots of love for Ryou
Aname
P.s. Hi Ryou[giggles]I wuv you. I can't wait till our date.

Ryou: I'm going on a date with her? Cool! When should I pick her up? She didn't give any specifics..

Dear Aname,

Beat the stuffing out of them. Or better yet, make voodoo dolls of them! They are much more effective! And fun!

Yami Bakura

-----

Me: O-o You are a very violent person Yami Bakura..

Yami Bakura: I know I am!

Ryou: [has daisies and roses] Which do you think Aname will like better?

Me: Both!

Ryou: OK! [hands Yami Bakura letter]

Dear Bakura
What do I do when I have my favorate character casing me with an axe?
from
?

Yami Bakura: This is an easy one!

Dear ?,

Chase him or her with an axe, or any other weapon, mainly sharp and painful!

Yami Bakura

-------

Yami Bakura: Now for the another letter! [opens letter]

Dear Yami Bakura,
Urm like Hi... wow fingers are bendy.. I mean My friend Anna wrote to you. and I need like help and stuff. Yea well That was all mean and all what she did I mean she called me a Moron! i'm not a moron I'm dork ^_^. Anyway i like need to know if I should like still be her friends and all? i love you all!
~*~ Karley (Proud sunshine member)
p.s. Huggles for Ryou ^_^

Ryou: ^-^ I got my own little fanclub!

Yami Bakura: Great..

Dear Karley,

Don't be her friend, be her worst nightmare! Stalk her! Send bombs and say they are watches that are ticking! Sneak into her house one day and squirt glue EVERYWHERE!

Yami Bakura

-------

Me: Gee.. That was so hart-warming...

Ryou: [getting on suit] I need help with my tie!

Yami Bakura: Now for the last letter for today! [opens letter]

yo yami bakura,
well at school I get the urge to kill everyone!and well when your sad you kinda dont care what you do. what do I do?
-SilverFang0

Yami Bakura: Lesee here..

Dear SilverFang0,

Kill everyone!

Yami Bakura

[noise can be heard from closet]

Me: Yami Bakura.. What was that?

Yami Bakura: O-O;;;;; nothing!

[closet door bursts open, Sami tumbles out]

Sami: AIR! FRESH AIR! Fresh wonderful clean air!

Me: YAMI BAKURA WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO TO MY SISTER?!?!?!?!

Yami Bakura: Uh.. Reacquainting her to the closet?

Sami: I feel dizzy.. Those walls aren't really moving are they?

Me: YAMI BAKURA!!!!!!

Ryou: [adjusting tie] Well, until we find Yami Bakura a hospital, see you soon!