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| "Like A Lily" Reviews/Comments [ 6 ] | Title: FFRG Review
Reviewed By: misslady [MediaMiner Member] On: September 28, 2005 22:31 CDT
Comment/Review:
This is a good poem. It flows well and describes Kikyo well. Not too many people take the time to see her in a good light. She actually can be a decent character. There is just a little something more that would make it great. I like your metaphors. Please keep up the good poetry. Misslady
| Title: FFARG Review
Reviewed By: The Panasonic Princess [MediaMiner Member] On: July 22, 2005 15:09 CDT
Comment/Review:
The poem has a nice meaning, but I'm not so sure about the layout. It gets rather repetitive and a little boring (but not too much). In my opinion, the last three lines aren't needed. All they really do is say "Hey, this is a poem about Kikyo!", which is done in the summary. But this is all just in my opinion. A poem is nice in the sense that if one person doesn't like it, the next person might love it. So, if you're really attached to this poem, I'd say keep it the way it is. The image is nice, and the layout isn't really that bad. I've seen (and written) so much worse. ^.~
| Title: FFRG review
Reviewed By: Kellen [MediaMiner Member] On: July 20, 2005 18:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to the FFRG. It's nice to see a poem about Kikyo that puts in a positive light, though you do not make light of the fact that she is a "breaker of hearts". You've chosen a style that can pack a lot of punch (no punctuation, simple short lines and repition) however, even though you have some good lines in the poem, overall it seems to fall short. "Unlike me, she is loved" and "Like the rain, she is persistant" are what I think are the most powerful lines. The last two lines are a nice oxymoron that sums up the poem nicely. I'm not sure how you can add a little "punch" to it, but this poem is a good start. With a little tweaking, it could be a powerful poem. One more little thing: your title "Like a Lilly" should be spelled "lily". Like I said, you are on the right track, I think. Again, thanks for submitting to the FFRG. cheers,Kellen
| Title: Ah poetry
Reviewed By: Dee isn't sign in because she's LAZY On: July 20, 2005 09:14 CDT
Comment/Review:
This was a good poem. It was simple with a steady rhythm and a few exceptional lines such as "Like a storm, she is fierce." However, I don't think it made any new insights on the deep character that is Kikyou, and at times, it seemed a little TOO repetetive. Repition within a poem is a precarious thing. It can be be both dramatic and dull, and "Like a Lily" tottered somewhere between the two.
| Reviewed By: gothic fuzzies [MediaMiner Member] On: July 19, 2005 22:44 CDT
Comment/Review:
Very deep. I like it.
| Reviewed By: SexKitten [MediaMiner Member] On: July 19, 2005 20:18 CDT
Comment/Review:
Cool. Kikyo rocks.
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