Title: Hey there!
Reviewed By: BakaYasha [MediaMiner Member] On: July 11, 2007 00:52 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey there you wanted me to read this so here I am! Though it wasn't bad, it wasn't the best thing I've ever read either. It made sense, but some of the lines got a little repetitive. If it was supposed to be that way then I guess you did what you were supposed to do, but I found it hindered the flow of my reading. I did like the last few stanzas about Sango however, they rhymed fairly well and the syllable counts matched almost dead on so if you were to go back and make improvements I would suggest that you try counting syllables in the rest of your stanzas to make their matching counterparts the same. This was, if I am not mistaken put in 'abab' poetry format for the most part but there were sections where I wasn't sure because the syllables didn't match and the endings of every second line didn't quite match together. Overall it was readable and I was able to get out of it what you were trying to convey, however I would recommend going back and doing a little more work on it.
|
