| "To be what I must" Reviews/Comments [ 17 ] |
| Pages (2): [ 1 2 › » ] |
Reviewed By: jorgemendez On: August 22, 2011 13:27 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 7 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 6 of 10 Comment/Review:
So I feel that I should be completely honest with you.I can definetly see that this story could be great,but I believe the execution was a bit off, which is probably why you have writer's block.You should probably consider reveal the dark history of Kagome's past in bits and pieces,leaving the reader to want to know more.Also,i believe that her father should have a bit more depth to him.Let the reader know,very subtlely mind you,why her father is after Kagome and why he treats her the way he does.It is very important that you dig into Kagome's mind, but I believe it is equally important to dig into her father's mind as well.Hopefully that will help you finish the story. I'm really looking foreward to reading it when you continue. |
Reviewed By: Ryo5492 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 27, 2008 20:26 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
good chapterXD but it was a little on the short side...anyways i have another ideaXD kagome and sango could find like a special miko tool or kagome discovers a new power while she begins her training and it allows her to hide her scent..and part of the power is to hide certain parts of that scent...like the fact that she's no longer a virgin...or her bloodXD and then as for the training... they could say that midoriko or something came to kaome in a drem saying that it was important for her to learn how to fight...and then as for explaining where inuyasha smelled the blood, just say that kagome was attacked when she came back out of the well to tell them about midoriko...and when sango found her...kagome asked sango to help her train and told her about what happened w/ midoriko...and they just tell inuyasha that she knew he wouldnt let her traing if she wassnt already starting by the time he got thereXD lolXP you dont have to use my ideasXP just my imagination running wild=D keep writing! youre doing a great jobXD here's hoping for a longer chapter next timeXP lol thanks for all your hard workXP
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Reviewed By: Ryo5492 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 26, 2008 22:13 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg love your storyXD update soon=D oh and for =suggestions, kagome could secretly train to be a taijya...but maybe a kick *** miko one? w/ special powers othter mikos dont haveXP lol
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Reviewed By: FadedAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: October 03, 2008 14:38 EDT
Comment/Review:
lol me too! thanx!
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Title: Keep at it
Reviewed By: Koneko778 [MediaMiner Member] On: October 03, 2008 11:57 EDT
Comment/Review:
Your stiry is good so far, and for some reason, this is actually how I pictured her dad. No one really knows what happenmed to him any way so you must kewep going.
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Reviewed By: FadedAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: September 17, 2008 05:51 EDT
Comment/Review:
thanx^^
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Reviewed By: Rach^_^ On: September 16, 2008 19:29 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hey love your story.It's Awsome!!!!!!
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Title: thank you
Reviewed By: FadedAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: September 08, 2008 14:43 EDT
Comment/Review:
to: fairy goddess thank you so much! i really like your idea a lot! also thanks so much for the encouragment. thanx again your idea will be taken into consideration like all others. thanx again! ^^
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Reviewed By: Fairy goddess [MediaMiner Member] On: September 07, 2008 18:08 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
You deserved a better rating! So I changed mine! Write on! Much Love Fairy Goddess
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Title: To Be What I Must
Reviewed By: Fairy goddess [MediaMiner Member] On: September 07, 2008 18:05 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Hi, I like your fic, the chapters are short but I be they will get longer when your block is lifted. It's a good thing to ask for advice on what to do in this condition. I think Sango should know her secret, since she found her. It will bond them as true sisters, she will protect her from the other's questions. Sango should help train her, then Sessy should, he would be the first to really figure out what happened to her and he is strong willed enough to keep her secrets and protect her from prying questions. I like the idea that you have about Inuyasha watching her trying to figure out what has happened. Kouga can swoop in with his aggressive self and nearly send her over the edge, by bringing back memories. If you want an idea on how Sessy could end up envolved I think I might have one, but let me know. Oh, let Miroku figure it out but keep it to himself, he's to wise and smart not to figure things out like that. Kouga and Inuyasha should remain in the dark for awhile. I like the direction your taking your fic or the idea of it, it's great! I hope you make it a Inu/Kag/Sess pairing, she is looking to be stronger, that's strong being mated to the power brothers. A girl shouldn't have to choose. Write on! Much Love Fairy Goddess
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Reviewed By: Ryo5492 [MediaMiner Member] On: September 05, 2008 20:13 EDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg please continue the fic=D its so good...heres an idea to help your writers block...how about kagome lies at the bottom of the well and figures that her life is over...but then she thinks of inuyasha and the others and how dissapointed they would be to find that shed given up so easily...so she climbs out...cleans heself up and decides that she needs to get stronger...she returns to her friends and acts as if nothing happened and as they go about travelling about...she would secretly train herself...inuyasha, when he sees her notices her scent is off but cant figure out what it is...he decides not to ask her until he figures out whats wrong...he constantly watches her and continuues to analyze her trying to figure out what could be the problem...and starts noticing the difference in her fighting abilities...then someobody comes along and mentions why kagome is not a virgin anymore...like myoga or something...and he goes to ask her why...by this time she becomes a kick-ass miko fighter and is about to return to her father to teach him a lesson!!! with a bunch of stuff in the middle like love and agnstXD just a suggestion...you dont really have to use my idea though..
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Reviewed By: HeartStar [MediaMiner Member] On: September 05, 2008 00:14 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg please update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: HeartStar [MediaMiner Member] On: September 05, 2008 00:14 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg please update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: HeartStar [MediaMiner Member] On: September 05, 2008 00:14 EDT
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
omg please update soon!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Title: replying
Reviewed By: FadedAngel [MediaMiner Member] On: September 03, 2008 14:50 EDT
Comment/Review:
hello! thank you soo much for reveiwing im going to update soon i promise! the pairings are inu/kag and san/mir
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