| "A Tale about a Tail" Reviews/Comments [ 15 ] |
Reviewed By: inuyashapup [MediaMiner Member] On: July 30, 2004 21:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
10,10,10,10,10,1000000!!! update
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Reviewed By: Dragon of Death and Love [MediaMiner Member] On: April 10, 2004 21:48 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I love it but I'm impaitient, so please write more!!!!!!
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Reviewed By: stephanie8414 [MediaMiner Member] On: February 24, 2004 20:07 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is a great story and idea. I can't wait for more chapters!
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Reviewed By: Fountain Girl On: February 10, 2004 19:12 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Plez update looking forward to new chapter.
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Reviewed By: doesitreallyfuckingmatter On: February 08, 2004 16:28 CST
Comment/Review:
I'M MAD AT YOU!!i was looking foward to a new chappter
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Reviewed By: K005 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 30, 2004 16:53 CST
Comment/Review:
I loved the new chapter
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Reviewed By: K005 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 27, 2004 15:46 CST
Comment/Review:
hi i loved this chapter pls update
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Reviewed By: daydreamer5888 On: January 20, 2004 12:40 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
that was ok but it would be better if you added on to it, otherwise that was pretty good!
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Reviewed By: onti7 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 19, 2004 18:43 CST
Comment/Review:
I need to edit the chapter (a lot) so it will take a while before I can post anything
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Reviewed By: queenofpain&misery On: January 19, 2004 15:01 CST
Comment/Review:
write more!i realy like our fanfic
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Reviewed By: queenofpain&misery On: January 18, 2004 20:52 CST
Comment/Review:
write more now! i command you i'am the queen!!
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Reviewed By: Fountian Girl On: January 17, 2004 11:51 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
CUTE!Please Write more!
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Reviewed By: someone somewhere On: January 17, 2004 05:24 CST
Comment/Review:
I think something should happen to Kagome anyway loved it pls update
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Reviewed By: Trojin Relma Jennings [MediaMiner Member] On: January 15, 2004 15:39 CST
Rating(s):Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
you should make something happen to Kagome
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Reviewed By: RedHerring [MediaMiner Member] On: January 15, 2004 05:44 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 1 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 6 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 2 of 10
Overall Rating: 4 of 10 Comment/Review:
Eh, the story idea itself is great. I really think you should spend more time on drawing out the situation. Maybe have Shippou's idea for experimentation come in the second or third chapter, after Inuyasha did something especially mean to Shippou. Describe some scenery, Describe Shippou's bumbling attempts to creat a potion. Describe little movements of the characters when they are talking. The way they said things, body language, those kind of things. They way you have it now is that the story is mostly dialogue, and while I have an active immagination, it still seems like I'm watching floating heads play pingpong with their words. Also, Kagome was a little OOC, so you may want to fix that. Have more internal dialogue, ya know, show what they're thinking and try and reveal some motivation behind the character's actions. Most importantly, describe the setting. It makes a story more interesting if you pay attention to the little things: like Inuyasha leaning against a rotting beam. If you want this story to be just about Inuyasha's aquisition of a tail, then that's great, but if you want to draw it out longer, have some banter, filler, and a few sub plots. Maybe have Inuyasha and Kagome share a moment where she finally reveals her like for the tail, and/or him. Maybe Inuyasha could be very self concious about the tail. I'm not very good at coming up with filler on the spot, but if you brainstorm I'm sure that you can manage. At the best, this story is a daydream hastily typed up. Organize it into a real story and I'm sure it will gain more popularity.
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