| "Eye Of The Storm" Reviews/Comments [ 12 ] |
Title: FURBA rocks!
Reviewed By: Hyperman (not logged in) On: March 17, 2005 12:47 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Sorry, forgot to log in. You get ten's all across the board, not for one chapter, but all chapters!!! Yes, there were spelling errors, but they are forgiven. It really was almost like reading the manga and watching the anime, great job! I like what you did to Akito and now Yuki has to deal with Kagura; finally, Kyou can have a little peace seeing as he's always caught hell from just about everybody else. I can't wait for the next chapter and I hope to see the hotspring lady too! Phoenix, you KICK ASS!!!
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Reviewed By: Becca Stareyes [MediaMiner Member] On: October 22, 2004 08:13 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well, I don't normally read Fruits Basket fic, but I saw yours in the queue for Featured Fanfiction. Unfortunatly, I'm online before class, so I can really only read the first chapter now. You really need to work on your voice -- the way you tell your story. You use present tense when most stories use past, and you use the 3rd person omniscient voice, both of which are kind of awkward. You also don't have a lot of description -- something I had problems with when I started writing fanfic as well, so I udnerstand it can be difficult to do. Also, the original character, Keiko Yamada, is showing some signs of being a Mary Sue -- a character that is used as an very obvious tool of the author to make things happen that s/he wants. Try Googling it for more information. Even in the first chapter, Keiko shows some signs of being one -- she attracts an unusual amount of attention from everyone on her first day, even for a new student, tot he point Black Haru will disrupt a fight with Kyou to impress her. You might want to rethink Momiji calling her 'hot' -- 'pretty' might work better, as it is more consistant with Momiji's characterization as an innocent person. Another hint -- most people romanize Japanese name suffixes with a hyphen -- so you might try writing it as Honda-san or Kyou-kun. It also makes thigns easier to read. I do like seeing fanfics dealing with Akito -- he seems like an interesting character. Feel free to email or IM me if you want me to elaborate.
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 29, 2004 21:12 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: July 25, 2004 21:00 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 30, 2004 18:54 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I loved chapter 7!
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 02, 2004 18:56 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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Reviewed By: ilovekyosohma [MediaMiner Member] On: May 19, 2004 23:33 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Comment/Review:
I like,I like.I don't really like Yuki,but I can live up to the fact this is going to be about him.Haha.But Yuki isn't like himself at all T_T...But I really like your story!Please do continue!^__^
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 19, 2004 19:05 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 18, 2004 07:23 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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Title: keiko
Reviewed By: K-fan On: May 15, 2004 08:56 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 9 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I dun like Keiko!!!!!!!! What kind of idiot leaves France to live on the street! And dun go pairing her up with Yuki or Kyo! And what idiot wears that outfit to work? Other than that, your stories rock!!!!!!! ^_^ *i dun want to be mean* Bold
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: May 13, 2004 07:13 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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Reviewed By: animegirl411 [MediaMiner Member] On: April 20, 2004 07:07 CDT
Rating(s):Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
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