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| "Hidden by Birth" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Title: *applauds*
Reviewed By: Kathrine Reverie [MediaMiner Member] On: September 15, 2004 16:19 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
^_^ I loved this chapter. Gotta say it was short, but, I tend to put short ones before horridly long ones aswell ( Heh, my 'into tortal' is at 20 pages for the first chapter. um. can someone say separate chapters a little better? lol) i found a few mistakes (I'm not done with the Pros though!) 1. In the summary, It's Reikai Tantei. Not Tentai. 2. Not so much a mistake as a pet peeve but, Author notes in the middle of the fiction. It's better to do somthing like " when * is put next to a word it means there's an exsplantation near the end" or just exsplain it at the end wether you tell them it's coming or not. That way the reader can get into and stay into the story. 3. on the botan thing, not a correction at all, lol. Her eyes are actually violet in some pictures, pink in others. I've even seen it bergundy. Mind you, OFFICIAL pictures. XD Not fan art. 4. Small correction. The Italics kept comeing and going during the flash backs. If it meant 'thought' then it's better to to somthing like. "'How can they exspect me to do this?' she though wearily." It's not only less confusung it's also a bit more proffessional. WHEEEE!! Still can't rate originality. Your spelling and grammar are nearly perfect. ^_^ WAI!! Thankies for the plushie! ^_^ I'm enjoying your fic so far. (Not to mention the fact you're letting me be a 'casual beta reader' XD ) I have a ton more to say but i have about 0 characters left and would need at least 600 more XDDDDD Oh well! Kat Reverie
| Reviewed By: cysso On: September 03, 2004 16:08 CDT
Comment/Review:
ok.....and its....Hiei behind the botan wanna be right? oh well..... hurry up before i have to get physical!
| Reviewed By: Pancakes [MediaMiner Member] On: August 28, 2004 08:58 CDT
Comment/Review:
i really like it! =D yes, it's Bloody-chan! ^.^ thought i'd forget about you, eh? ^_^ nah, i was in Ca-NAY-dia. anyway, this is a REALLY good story! =D but one thing, when you first discribed Botan, you said she had diswater, dirty blone hair, and then later you said she had her normal blue hair >.> oh, and her eyes are pink! no violet-ness! PINK! but i'm probably annoying you now, ne? ^.^U anyway, update soon, Celedine-chan! ====Bloody====
| Title: REALLIE GOOD
Reviewed By: Kryssie On: August 27, 2004 20:09 CDT
Rating(s):Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
I reallie lyke your story...you better update soon!^_^ okayez...umms i reallie lyke your story and its getting good-no-great..hehe...
| Title: sugoi ne ^_^
Reviewed By: Kathrine Reverie [MediaMiner Member] On: August 26, 2004 03:29 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 9 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
^_^ great so far! I love the plot like so far. i noticed a few mistakes (Help, I can't stop XD) Li-san : You'd drop the san. Adding san to your own name is concidered disrespectfull (Unless you're talking in the third person and then it's kinda funny.) Small spelling and grammatical errors: No biggie, but it turns some people off. 'Room' came off as 'Rum' and other lil things. I love how this is handled, the styal of writing is one of the better ones you see (I've only seen three better and two of those have published books) I haven't seen enough to grade the creativity/originality. this is a VERY enjoyable ficy!
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