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| "Shades of Grey" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] | Reviewed By: OzZ Cometh [MediaMiner Member] On: January 11, 2005 22:53 CST
Comment/Review:
O.C stands for Original Character. I'm not sure if you made SkyAngel up, but I got an indication or two that it was, thus I phrased it accordingly. A reviewer that is narrow-minded may frown upon the thought of the author including someone that 'they' created into the fanfiction, but that's about as far as it goes--it's normal to worry about getting carried away with an OC, but try to focus that concern more on the amount of attention they recieve from the actual characters of the show, rather than their description. As a footnote before I leave, no, it's not abnormal to reply to reviews (at least the way I view it), and it almost kind of seems rude to completely ignore someone that 'did' provide feedback. I've spent two solid years practicing writing, namely sutdying other people's material, so I'm pretty good at spotting something in a fic that doesn't seem right, and being logical about it. I try to be as helpfull as possible in a review, but sadly, there isn't much worthy of feedback on M.M these days. Well, till next time, aloha, peace out, and thanks for the compliments. -JackoMegane
| Reviewed By: Regnos [MediaMiner Member] On: January 11, 2005 17:22 CST
Comment/Review:
I appreciate your comments and though I am writing this for pleasure - it doesn't mean I don't enjoy reviews. I'm not attempting to defend myself and I'm new here (and to fanfics) so forgive me if its strange, but I also like to reply to my reviews. First, I see what you mean by timetravelling. I have always found this a problem in my writing - thank you for pointing it out to me. Also, conerning the description of Skyangel, I suppose I did that to refrain from overly decribing him and seeming much too... excited(?) about my own character. And lastly, you must have missed it. I quote "...pushed a pair of red lens shades up onto his forehead which pushed aside strands of black hair which fell from a middle part - the rest of which was combed back and spiked not unlike Robin's..." but that's okay, it was rather short. I'll work on the things you've mentioned! I hope to see more reviews from you in the future, your quite helpful. PS: What does OC stand for?
| Title: --
Reviewed By: OzZ Cometh [MediaMiner Member] On: January 09, 2005 23:05 CST
Comment/Review:
I think you portrayed the characters rather nicely (Though from time to time, they tended to over-react). I appreciate getting some recognition as a reviewer, and respect your writing for your own satisfaction rather than a third-party's, but I can't really refrain from voicing my opinion on this piece (Whether it be a grievience or not). Skyangel was a pretty interesting OC(Of course, if the author is talented as you, there's no reason an OC wouldn't be), though I suggest giving a bit fuller of a description. What you provided was, of course, well-written and easy to imagine, but it only seemed to touch base on his apparel and the wings. Perhaps I missed it, but I saw nothing outlining his build, hair, etc. One other thing, I'm not absoloutely sure if it's grammaticaly incorrect, but you periodically did something I like to call "Time-traveling" Example pulled from the first chapter, "Raven would roll her weary violet eyes and turn away..." That seemed to switch from past to future-tense. It hardly effected my enjoyment factor, but 'was' pretty akward to read over. Outside of these miniscule things, I'm really enjoying this fic. Keep it up. -JackoMegane
| Reviewed By: Regnos [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2005 16:07 CST
Comment/Review:
Thank you! I felt it was a little rushed myself, but your feedback is helpful. I probably won't change it right away - even if it might be a bad move. At this point I'm just writing for my own entertainment, not wether people will read more (when I post more) or not. Anyway, thanks! Now, back to my rabid typing! Hoo-hah!
| Reviewed By: OzZ Cometh [MediaMiner Member] On: January 08, 2005 15:48 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 7 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 9 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 7 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
Well, you most certainly used effective descriptions on the hound beasties (I imagined them being something like the moster in an old Steven King based movie) but, there was an utter lack of paragraphing in the fic itself, and it was occasionally tough to get the jist of what was going on (Though I do that simply to build suspense) I'm slightly taken back that a fic so small could yield such talented writing, but it just goes to show that the finer side of literacy can sometimes be captured in more miniscule amounts. It'd definantly be nice to see this peice have a future. -JackoMegane
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