| "A Visitor from the Past" Reviews/Comments [ 14 ] |
Title: FFRG Review Chapter 1
Reviewed By: Sueric [MediaMiner Member] On: June 22, 2005 13:02 CDT
Comment/Review:
I just finished reading your fic, and wanted to leave a review for you. I'm a casual watcher of the show (meaning I watch with my kids), and I must say that the first thing I really noticed was that I had no real idea who Shift was. That aside, while I felt you did a very good job with the dialogue, there is a set format for scripts that wasn't adhered to, and in which case, it tends to make the story a lot harder to follow. I had trouble visualizing things in your story, and perhaps that was because of the format you chose. I couldn't help but feel as though this would be a much stronger story had this chapter (I didn't look further than the first one) not been in this format. In normal prose, you're given the opportunity to expound on the descriptions, etc. Overall, though, you did well with dialogue (an obvious strong point for you!) and I did enjoy the chapter. Don't give up, and keep at it! I noticed the care you took with spelling, etc, and that was also very impressive to me! Thanks for submitting to FFRG; I hope you do so again!
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Reviewed By: dark_knight On: May 18, 2005 16:22 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 1 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 5 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
look over all it was a good story i liked it but raven would never be an alcohalic ok. my family has a case of alcohalism but i can't stand beer see were i'm comming from? raven is my favorite too nice godd / evil pull off though
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Title: nice
Reviewed By: austin8 On: April 07, 2005 19:15 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
nice sorry it would make agreat movie just make sure raven doesn't die I read this whole story 2 times it sreally goodmake a nother one like this and did....raven andd Artition have you know what
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Title: nice
Reviewed By: austin8 On: April 07, 2005 19:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
nice sorry it would make agreat movie just make sure raven doesn't die I read this whole story 2 times it sreally goodmake a nother one like this and did....raven andd Artition have you know what
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Reviewed By: Kinsha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 25, 2005 11:53 CST
Comment/Review:
the second ending isn't as depressing as u made it out to be. though that may just be me cuz i seem to be able to take depressing stuff very well... oh well. that was an awesome fic, you should def. write another story! just, don't end it like this... *shudder* i do fine with the depressing but not so much with the goriness. ekkk.. n e wayz... keep writing other!
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Title: yay
Reviewed By: Kevin mask [MediaMiner Member] On: February 23, 2005 14:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 8 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 6 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 8 of 10 Comment/Review:
finally a half decent OC fic, ya know ive been looking for a decent titans oc fic for a while and i ve found one well done.
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Title: ^-^
Reviewed By: Littledragon On: February 20, 2005 07:30 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
GOOD JOB HON!!!!!!!Guess who this is.......yeah,it's me!!!
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Reviewed By: Kinsha *not logged in* On: February 16, 2005 15:30 CST
Comment/Review:
SO TOTALLY AND UTTERLY AWESOME!!!!!!!! these are def. best two chapters!!!! but.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! dn't end it!! pwease?? *if i ask nice enough will u write more???* pwetty pwease??
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Reviewed By: Kinsha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 13, 2005 11:46 CST
Comment/Review:
i gots a question for ya. i was wondering if u meant to say "amazement" in the last chapter instead of amassment. cuz i don't think they mean the same thing....
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Reviewed By: Kinsha [MediaMiner Member] On: February 07, 2005 15:55 CST
Comment/Review:
This is really good so keep writing it. It's not very nice to do cliffies to people though. Haha, just kidding. It's actually really funny, but thats beside the point. your Sp & Gr are amazing and there are no holes where anything can go ary. Is that how you spell it? Continue PLEASE!!
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Reviewed By: nightwater On: February 04, 2005 17:39 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very Good my friend *wink* this girl in glasses and pigtails like it alot even though she has read it before, tis very good even the oh second time victoria
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Reviewed By: RavenFan On: January 23, 2005 16:05 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 4 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 9 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 8 of 10
Overall Rating: 9 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very interesting, I like it. Please update soon!
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Reviewed By: shadow3 [MediaMiner Member] On: January 21, 2005 15:09 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
This is one of the best teen titans storys i have read. Well done, please write more!
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Reviewed By: Jurodan [MediaMiner Member] On: January 20, 2005 01:25 CST
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 5 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 7 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 8 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 6 of 10
Overall Rating: 7 of 10 Comment/Review:
I like the idea, I really do, but it's too scriptish. Try writing more descriptors as each character speaks, possibly Starfire putting a finger to her mouth when she's talking about Zoran, trying to translate it into a term they would understand. Right now it's stiff, the characters don't move at all while talking which isn't how real people or cartoon characters act. On a seperate note, this is the first story I've read where Starfire has gotten Raven drunk that wasn't NC17, good job on that.
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