| "Death-by-Blanket-Senario Fic" Reviews/Comments [ 5 ] |
Title: FFARG review
Reviewed By: Sari-15 [MediaMiner Member] On: June 19, 2005 11:11 CDT
Comment/Review:
Thanks for submitting to FFARG. This story was not only very original...but highly entertaining. To have Miroku dreaming of Kikyou-of all the women he could dream of-was quite amusing. I didn't find the japanese distracting at all, being that all the words you used were ones that anyone who is 'well read' in the InuYasha fandom wouldn't even require a translation of. The use of Houshi-sama isn't just a 'japanese term' in this fandom as I am sure you are more than aware. The only thing I would do is work on fine tuning your characterization of Kikyou...it's good, but I think you have the ability and knowledge to make it stronger (eventhough it is a dream). She's a hard character to perfect...your Miroku was dead on though. I am one that doesn't like too many (xxx) in the stories I read...but it worked very well here. (It's usually inserted author comments within the fic, which drives me batty.) Thank you-thank you-thank you for using it correctly. I think the whole thing could have a little more detail, extending it a little. It just came across as slightly rushed. But as it is, it's very amusing. Great job. Thanks for submitting to FFARG.
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Title: SisiXIII
Reviewed By: White_Winged_Atlantian [MediaMiner Member] On: June 13, 2005 00:12 CDT
Comment/Review:
Well for the first thing, I really don't see why you NEED to use Japanese in your story for things other than perhaps the hakama because there isn't a translation really for that. All it does is serve to make people a bit more confused and learn things wrong. All of the first Japanese I learned was from Fanfics and the majority of it was wrong. Though the average person may not be aware of it… Actually everyone and their dog's know that things were different 500 years ago. But it's still a very effective way of introducing your story. I like how you did it so that any old reader can just look in and know basically what's up. I *love* your descriptions of Miroku. But really, the use of Japanese takes away from your diction in 'the hapless houshi' it would look much better as monk or priest. "Shake his head in the negative" This is over complicating things dear, all you need to say is that he shook his head. It's not offensive to the eye but there are some people it makes angry. I really don't have much to critique on this other than overcomplicating things. You're an EXCELLENT writer and I enjoyed that thoroughly only wavering slightly when Miroku was waking and there was all that "Houshi-sama" non-stop. Most definitely the use of Japanese is a bit confusing but that was a very, very good story.
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Title: tee hee
Reviewed By: Gyousei [MediaMiner Member] On: June 04, 2005 10:12 CDT
Rating(s):Style of Writing: 10 of 10
Spelling & Grammar: 10 of 10
Originality/Creativity: 10 of 10
Enjoyment Factor: 10 of 10
Overall Rating: 10 of 10 Comment/Review:
Very funny and very well writen. You've captured Miroku's character and wit perfectly. I'd say he'd even consider walking clay he's that bad. Well done!! ^_^
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Title: Me again...
Reviewed By: DarklessVasion [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2005 00:08 CST
Comment/Review:
....I just read the other review....and all I can say is demented-sqirrel it definitly demented. Miroku and Kikyou are not enemies. If anything, there is professional courtesy between them. They know of and about each other, but barely have any real contact. Don't listen to crackpots like that. They obviously have not seen the whole anime or read the manga. Jeez!! Save me from Kikyou bashers. Kikyou is not evil! She is actually a very kind and generous person in a horridly unique situation. I repeat...I liked this little fic.
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Reviewed By: DarklessVasion [MediaMiner Member] On: February 20, 2005 00:03 CST
Comment/Review:
*Tsk tsk tsk* Damn ecchi bouzu...LOL -- Very cute, I liked it a lot.
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