/ ❯ Temptation Waits ❯ That nasty little Lucas! ( Chapter 14 )

DISCLAIMER: I don't own DBZ…I don't own a monkey either…or red dwarf

A/N - heh, heh, heh…Mushrooms are funny! Thanks for everybody who reviewed! I hope you like this chapter…oh and I know I said I was going to introduce the big main bad guy soon but what can I say…I lied ^_^ He'll be introduced eventually! By the way I also rip off Red Dwarf a lot in this chapter and I have to thank VGChaos for inadvertently helping me spawn the idea for this chapter.

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"Nice Vegeta, good Vegeta…put the mushrooms down…" Bulma crept closer to Vegeta who was huddled on the couch with the mushrooms a panicked look in his eyes, "You don't want those mushrooms 'Geta, their bad for you."

Vegeta eyes rolled in the same way a wild horses might before it goes psychotic and he held the mushrooms closer to his chest, shaking his head as Bulma inched closer, "No! My mushrooms! Your not even Bulma are you? I bet you're really a space alien aren't you!"

"No Vegeta, I'm not an alien…"

"Ah ha! I know what you are! You're that sneaky little incredibly good-looking elf aren't you? What's his name…Lucas!" Vegeta stood up, the precious, precious mushrooms still clutched close, "Well your not getting my mushrooms!"

"Vegeta, I'm not Lucas I'm Bulma…"

"Only Lucas would say that he's Bulma!"

"Okay, okay, okay I am Lucas!"

"Ah ha! I knew it!"

"No wait! You just said…"

"Aaaaaah! Space Slug!" Vegeta jumped behind the couch and cowered into a ball, "Not even the mighty super saiyan can defeat the giant space slug!" He opened the jar and greedily ate another mushroom, shrieking as Bulma reached over the couch and grabbed the jar from him, "No! My mushrooms!"

"The mushrooms are bad for you Vegeta, you shouldn't eat them!" Bulma ran into the bedroom and flushed the mushrooms down the toilet, when she came out Vegeta was on the couch looking incredibly sad.

"All my life people have been stealing my mushrooms off me…never have I ever gotten a day of peace!"

"Vegeta…"

"No! Don't interrupt me! It all started when I was five years old and my father gave me this cute little puppy! The he took it off me and said I was getting weak! I never saw my mushroom puppy again." Vegeta sobbed into a couch cushion, "And when I was a teenager all I wanted to do was hang out with the other teenagers and eat mushrooms but Frieza made me eat apricots! Apricots Bulma! Do you know what that does to a man?"

"I, er, can imagine how horrible it must have been."

"Oh you have no idea!" Vegeta sobbed some more, murmuring about mushrooms and apricots and puppies, "And…and I'm short too!"

"Short? What the…I thought we were talking about mushrooms?"

"I said don't interrupt me! When I was little I was really, really small so I started brushing my hair up to look big! And for some reason I just stopped growing one day and I was stuck at this height! And…and I tried to hide it so I brushed my hair up like this until it just started growing like that! I even contemplated wearing high heels to look bigger!"

"Vegeta shhh! It's ok! Your not short you just…height challenged."

"No I'm short and I know it! I'm tiny! I'm small and worse of all I'm…petite! Do you know how hard it was for a teenage me to have to go shopping for clothes in the children's section?" Vegeta sobbed into the couch more, "Even now it's the same when I go shopping, I always wind up in either the children's department or the dwarf department…I'm short and I hate it!"

Whoa…those mushrooms really screwed him up!

"Okay Vegeta…were going to go for a little walk to the bedroom and your going to lie down and go to sleep."

"No! I can't sleep! If I sleep the rats will get me! Did you see them out here before on their unicycles! They were trying to crawl in my ears…they want to take me over!" Vegeta looked suspiciously around the room, "And then there's Lucas…he's real Bulma and he wants to kill me and make you his queen of Lollipop Land!"

"Lollipop Land, right, well I'll keep watch Vegeta while you sleep this off okay?"

"Do you promise you'll keep Lucas away from me? He might try and steal my body too…"

"I promise Vegeta." Bulma helped him stand and walked with him into the bedroom, "Now I want you to lie down and go to sleep."

"Okay…night, night."

"Night, Night, 'Geta."

"Don't call me…'Gettaaaaaa…." Vegeta felt face first onto the bed and started snoring.

"Puh! Lollipop land! Ha!"

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you."

"V…Vegeta was that you?" Bulma slowly turned back to the bed but the saiyan only snored in response, "Who's there?"

"It is I…Lucas the incredibly good looking elf."

"Oh Kami…now I'm hallucinating too!" Bulma walked out of the bedroom and closed the door, in the living room an incredibly good-looking man sized elf sat on the couch and waved at her.

"Hello Bulma."

"I know what you are! You're a mushroom aren't you?"

"Look Bulma, let me assure you that your not hallucinating. I'm real, very real…as real or you and Vegeta."

"No…I wont listen to you, your nothing but a figment of my imagination!"

"Bulma Briefs! Listen to me!" Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf stood up and crossed his perfect arms, "Look Bulma, Vegeta wasn't lying. I do want him dead and I do want you as my queen of Lollipop Land."

"Yes well…excuse me for not leaping with joy but why do want Vegeta dead?" Bulma stayed a large distance away from Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf.

"I want him dead because he's your mate…if he's still alive then I can't get you." Lucas smiled wryly, "Unfortunately I can't kill Vegeta…for some reason because he created me with his delusions I cant seem to harm him, but I have other ways of getting him killed."

"Such as?"

"Such as getting you to kill him for me Bulma."

"Ha! I'd never kill Vegeta…I couldn't even if I tried!" Bulma moved even further back as Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf took a few steps closer to her,

"Oh Bulma…Vegeta is very ill at the moment, he's very weak. You could easily kill him with that knife in the kitchen."

"Well I wont! I don't care what you do to me! I wont kill him!" Bulma didn't take her eyes of him as he moved even closer.

"You wont have a choice my dear Bulma, you see I'm going to make Vegeta attack you. It'll be either you or him who comes out alive and I plan on making sure it's you!"

Bulma shook her head and bolted for the kitchen, locking the door behind her as she heard Lucas the incredibly good-looking elf give an incredibly attractive but evil laugh.

"I wont kill him!"

A/N - Ba ba ba baaaa! Lucas is the bad guy I told you all about! Will his evil plan succeed? Find out in the next exciting episode of Temptation Waits!

Oh yes for anybody who is interested VGChaos has a super cool fic up that you should go and read!

Please Review!