.hack//SIGN Fan Fiction ❯ .hack/RaNdOmNeSs ❯ Red Shirts and Blue Knights ( Chapter 1 )
[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]
By: GameChamp11 
Anime/Manga: .hack//SIGN Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 07.21.2004 | Pages: 6 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 539 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: .hack//SIGN Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Comedy | Type: Spamfic | Uploaded On: 07.21.2004 | Pages: 6 | Words: 2.6K | Visits: 539 | Status: Completed
Disclamier: I don't own anything that has to do with .hack//SIGN o.O
A/N: Well I got bored of my SSBM murder story, So I'd figure I'd try a .hack story. ^^' It's my first so prepare for the horror of badness! And before any ANY ANNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY OF YOU READ ON!
DON'T READ ON!!!
DON'T READ ON!!!
DON'T READ ON!!! With out know that I have NO SPELL CHECK.
I REPEAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK! SO DON'T YOU EVEN THINK OF FLAMEING THAT! Oh and your outlook on .hack//SIGN might be destroyed for life. Becareful. As you read along, my T.V. is on, so if you see just random stuff pop in, its because of what I saw on TV.
.hack//[Insert Title here]
Tsukasa: [Standing infront of a swirly hypnotist thingy and is black and white and talks in a very serious tone] Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of bunnies. What you are about to see may shock and even make you scream, "OH MY GOD!!!". But who knows. Today on the Wonderful world of Bambi, we will be showing you a day of boredom. Be afraid. Be very afraid. You have now entered...the Wonderful World of Ballet...[Scary Twilight Zone music and he starts singing alone] Dodododododododododo. [Waits] Hmm...
Mimiru: [Pokes Tsukasa with her sword] What are you doing?
Tsukasa: DO NOT INTERRUPT THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF BLUE BIRDS!
Mimiru: Why?
Tsukasa: Because they are scared. They fear for their very power is slipping away.
Mimiru: Really?
Tsukasa: Yes. AND WE MUST SAVE THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF BABIES!
BT: [Magically appears in a cloud of sparkles] I am Gaia, the spirit of Earth. I now send five magic rings to five special young people. [Throws up five little 99 cent rings]
Tsukasa: TO ARMS!
Bear & Crim: [Sitting on the couch] No.
Tsukasa: But...the baboons!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says that we must saves these Baboons.
Bear: Don't play along with him!
BT: But I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, am not playing!
Subaru: [Skips in] Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii there!
Everyone: [Ingores Subaru]
Subaru: u.u What have I ever done to you!
Crim: You rode a boat.
Subaru: Oh yeah! [Kicks Bear and Crim off the couch and starts singing Fake Wings] Shine...bright morning light...
Tsukasa: Can we save the bohemians now?
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says yes! [Throws up a cloud of sparkles]
Mimiru: Sparkles?
Fireplace: [Comes to life and gives a demonic laugh]
Bear: Dude, the fire is talking to us. We've gotta make...CONTACT!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says that it must be done after the bohemians are saved!
Tsukasa & BT: [Run out of the room and leave their staffs]
Fireplace: [Still giving the demonic laugh]
Bear: He gets angry.
Crim: Quick! Poke it! Poke it with a stick! [Grabs a stick and begins poking the Fireplace]
Fireplace: [Pops]
Bear: YOU'VE KILLED HIM!
Crim: I did?
Bear: He was so young...and full of life.
Sora: [Skips in wearing a pirates hat] Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Mimiru: Whats that mean? Arrrrrrr?
Sora: Nothing, I'm just bored.
Subaru: [In tune] We... all are bored!
Bear: Let's get not bored.
Crim: How?
Bear: Uh...
Ginkan: I have a question!
Everyone: WHAT??!
Ginkan: Why am I called "Silver Knight" in American? Aren't they all...silver?
Subaru: [Stops singing and jumps off the couch] YOU ARE DOUBTING MY JUDGEMENT?! AHEM! No, you are not all silver. You are Silver. They are grey.
Ginkan: I see.
Crim: They should be Crimson! Or Scarlet...whatever...but a nice shade of red.
Subaru: They should be blue. Ginkan deary, call the Crimson/Scarlet Knights.
Ginkan: Um...okay...[walks away]
Sora: I'm leaving now.
Everyone: Bye...
Sora: [Skips out]
Mimiru: I'm hungry. Bear go get me something to eat.
Bear: Why should I.
Mimiru: Because if you don't, [sniff] I'll cry.
Bear: Should I...care?
Mimiru: Yes.
Bear: Later. FIRST WE MUST MAKE CONTACT! [pulls out a Quija board] Now everyone join hands! [Grabs Mimiru and Crim hands]
Sabaru: Sorry! I need to go get my paint! [Runs away]
Bear: But I need a four people!
Crim & Mimiru: Oh my, doesn't that suck. We'll, I'd be going now...
Bear: NO! BILLYWITCHDOCTER.COM SAYS YOU NO GO! I shall use my magical powers.
Kite: [Pops up] Hi!
Everyone: Hi!
Bear: Now join hands. [Crim and Mimiru grab Kites hands] Ahem. [Stands up and starts hitting BT's staff on the Qujia board] Arise chicken, arise! Arise chicken, arise!
Crim: Thats not funny.
Bear: [Drops the staff and sighs] I know...I know...
Kite: Can I go now?
Mimiru: Nope!
Kite: [Cries]
Tsukasa & BT: [Walk back in holding 20 Bambo peices]
Kite: Tsukasa!
Tsukasa: Kite!
They run too eachother and start jumping up and down and talking about stuff like little girls.
Crim: [Sigh] It's boring again.
Bear: We need to make...CONTACT!
Mimiru: ...We don't NEED too, we WANT too.
Bear: Yes. And we want too, right?
Mimiru: I don't!
Crim: I don't either!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, would like to know what you are not doing.
Bear: We are about to make CONTACT!
BT: Let our powers combine!
Bear: Earth!
Crim: Fire!
Mimiru: Wind!
Subaru: [Magically Appears] Water!
Tsukasa: Heart!
Everyone: Gooooooooooooooooooooo Planet!
Elk: [Magically Appears] When your powers combine, I am Captain Pla- WHERE IS MAI! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Everyone but Elk: Captain Planet. He's our hero. Gonna tak- Okay I'm bored again.
Elk: Oh well. [Takes out some Aromatic Grass and gets high] Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Ginkan & Crismon/Scarlet Knights: [Walk in]
Subaru: Like, yey! Grab a paintbrush! It's painting time!
Everyone: [Paints the Crimson/Scarlet Knights Blue and Ginkan Pink]
Subaru: There, you have color now!
Random Crismon/Scarlet/Now Blue Knight: We HAD color befo-
Subaru: BEGON! [Lifts her hands and Random Crimson/Scarlet/Now Blue Knight turns to ashes] Now all of you leave! But you Ginkan/Sliver Knight/Now Pink Knight.
Crimson/Scarlet/Now Blue Knights: [Leave]
Ginkan: Don't I look pretty?
Subaru: You are a very pretty lady.
Ginkan: Yey! n.n
Crim: Hey...
Everyone: WHAT!
Crim: I got paint on my shirt.
Subaru, Mimiru, & Ginkan: YOU POOR BABY! [Start comforting Crim]
Crim: Yeah well...I don't...have any-
Kite: [watching TV] SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [Everyone stops] Health insurance comerical.
So everyone watches the Health insurance comerical with awe.
Crim: So, uh...I don't have any other shirts...
Subaru: WE MUST GO SHOPPING!
Crim: No, really, just wash it please.
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says we shall go shopping!
Crim: No, I've got this cleaning stuff that really works!
Subaru: Ginkan! Grab him!
Ginkan: [Picks up Crim and walks to the mini-van]
Crim: THIS REALLY ISN'T NEEDED!
Everyone: ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP! YEY!!! [Run into the car]
Tsukasa: Okay. So, who knows how to drive.
Elk: [Still High] I do Mr. Piglet. You should pick me. Cause I'll fly us to a nice little haven...with all the Aromatic you can want...
Subaru: I never learned.
Crim: [Tied up in the back seat for no real reason]
Kite: I'm too young!
Bear: I could drive...
Everyone: YEY!
Bear: But when we get home, we'll have to make...CONTACT!
Everyone: Booooooooo!
Bear: Then I guess we're not getting Crim's shirt.
Crim: [muffled] May!
Everyone but Crim: Nooooooooooo!
Mimiru: Lets take the bus!
Everyone: Lets not!
Bear: [gets tied up and thrown into the back seat]
Subaru: GINKAN!
Ginkan: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, Lady Subaru?
Subaru: Drive us to the store.
Ginkan: Yes Ma'am! [hops in the drivers seat]
BT: I, Gaia, The spirit of earth, calls shotgun!
---Shopping center---
The group is standing looking at one of those big map thingys that are in the mall. Oh, Bear and Crim are still tied up.
Tsukasa: Okay. So I'll lead Team A, Kite, Elk, and Gaia, while Team B goes with Mimiru, Subaru and Ginkan. GOOOO! [runs off]
Team A
Store- GAP
Elk: [Still stoned] Woah...look at all these colors. They're like...jumping at me.
Kite: [Looking at a orange shirt] Maybe because your standing in the bright colors section!
Elk: Oh...woah...Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurkey! [Chases a 'turkey']
BT: [walks out with a dress on] I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, must ask. Does this dress make I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, fat?
Tsukasa: Not at all! [Picks up a dress and puts it to him] God, this makes my hips look giant.
BT: Purple isn't you, so says I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth.
Tsukasa: Oh that skirt there, [points to a green skirt the same color as BT's clothes] that is soooooooo you.
Kite: Tsussy-kun! I'm bored! I haven't found any red shirts.
Elk: [Running around in the back with all the red shirts] Come back here turkey! I have the forbidden color which must be burried!
Tsukasa: Well I guess we should get moving. But I am soooooo buying this. [Holds up a white shirt]
Kite: That will look cute on you!
Tsukasa: Really?
Kite: Nope!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says that we must get moving!
Team B
Store: Playboy/Playgirl store thing
Subaru: [Holding up the Playboy bunny suit] Hmmm. I think its cute.
Ginkan: But you don't look good in black.
Subaru: [Slaps Ginkan] I LOOK GOOD IN EVERYTHING! HEAR THAT!? EVERYTHING!
Mimiru: [Looking at a Playgirl] This store is sick and twisted...why are we in here?
Ginkan: Red shirt!
Subaru: Red shirt! [Turns to the man behind the counter] Red shirt?
Dude behind counter: Man or woman?
Subaru: Man...I think.
Dude behind counter: We only have one shirt in at this moment...you may not like it!
Subaru: Try me!
Dude behind counter: [Gives her a red shirt]
Subaru: Hm...Ginkan, what does, "Flamer" mean?
Ginkan: [Looking at Mimiru's Play Boy] He likes fire?
Subaru: Oooh! We'll take it!
Team A
Store: KB Toys
Elk: [Staring at a toy] Hey! Kim! Come here and look at this!
Kite: Yes, its a Furby.
Elk: It's the...tuuuuuuuuuurkey...but look at it go up...and down...and up...and down...
Kite: [Backs away slowly]
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, must ask, why are we here?
Tsukasa: We followed Elk in here remember? [Looks at the video games and sees the .hack series] Oh...my...
Kite: Gasp!
Tsukasa: What?!
Kite: ITS A BOMB! [points to a bomb on the Furby]
Elk: [holding the Furby] It's so cute!
Tsukasa: OH THE IRONY! RUN!!!!!!!!
Furby: [Explodes]
Team B
Store: Maceys
Subaru: [Singing] So you wanna be a masta?
Ginkan & Mimiru: Pokemon!
Subaru: Do you have the skills to be-
Ginkan & Mimiru: Number one!
Subaru, Ginkan, & Mimiru: [Walks out of Maceys and into the mall] We all live...in a pokemon world, POK-E-MON!
Furby: [Explodes]
Mimiru: What was that?!
Subaru: What ever it was, it made me lose my place in the song. [Sees a contest] OH MY!!! [Jumps up on the yacht prize and sings Fake wings] Shine...bright morning light...
Ginkan: Well I'm going to call up Tsukasa on my magic cell phone to make sure hes okay. [Calls Tsukasa] Hello? Tsukasa? Oh yeah hi. We heard an explosion. You alright? Ok good.
Mimiru: Um...Ginkan...
Ginkan: Not now Mimiru! Whats that? Oh! We've got a shirt too!
Mimiru: But Ginkan!
Ginkan: Shush! No, its Mimiru. She won't stop bot-
Mimiru: STOP TALKING INTO MY BOOBS! [Slaps Ginkan]
Ginkan: Hmph! Well...I'll let you hang up then.
Sora: [Jumps in] Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Ginkan & Mimiru: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Sora: Isn't this story going long?
Mimiru: Mr. Author doesn't wanna make another chapter, so why not give them alot!!
Team A: [Walks up all burnt] Ow...it burns...
Ginkan: YEY! YOUR ALIVE!
Elk: But my Turkey isn't! [Holds up the dead Furby]
Tsukasa: KB Toys is evil...don't go there...for it is a spawn of evil and evil is something...we all don't like.
Kite: Kannufrutesstoneaahappeyleef.
Everyone: [Stare]
Kite: Nothing.
Tsukasa: So, lets head back!
Sora: Can I come?
Everyone: Hmmm...Nah.
---Mini-van---
Ginkan: Hiya Bear! Hiya Crim!
Bear & Crim: Mwhya!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, shall say, group A was busy with our own needs to care about yours. So we didn't get you a shirt.
Crim: MAY!
Subaru: I got you one! [Holds up the 'Flamer' shirt]
Crim: >.>
Kite: So, can we go now?
Ginkan: TIME TO DRIVE HOME TO PARTY!
Tsukasa: [Magically appears infront of the swirly thing again] So you see. Crim got his shirt. Subaru got her new knights. Bear never got his contact, Mimiru still askes question, me and Kite got married, Elk is still a junkie, Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, is still the tree hugging bitch she once was and Sora never got more then 5 lines. Everything turned out alright in the end...or did it? See you next time in...The Wonderful World of Bonzi Trees... [Twilight Zone music plays] Dododododododododododo!
Everyone: TSUKASA!!!!!!
ThE eNd TiLl ThE nExT tImE wE mEeT !
A/N: Well I got bored of my SSBM murder story, So I'd figure I'd try a .hack story. ^^' It's my first so prepare for the horror of badness! And before any ANY ANNNNNNNNNNNYYYYYYYYY OF YOU READ ON!
DON'T READ ON!!!
DON'T READ ON!!!
DON'T READ ON!!! With out know that I have NO SPELL CHECK.
I REPEAT! NOOOOOOOOOOOOO SPEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELL CHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEECK! SO DON'T YOU EVEN THINK OF FLAMEING THAT! Oh and your outlook on .hack//SIGN might be destroyed for life. Becareful. As you read along, my T.V. is on, so if you see just random stuff pop in, its because of what I saw on TV.
.hack//[Insert Title here]
Tsukasa: [Standing infront of a swirly hypnotist thingy and is black and white and talks in a very serious tone] Hello and welcome to the wonderful world of bunnies. What you are about to see may shock and even make you scream, "OH MY GOD!!!". But who knows. Today on the Wonderful world of Bambi, we will be showing you a day of boredom. Be afraid. Be very afraid. You have now entered...the Wonderful World of Ballet...[Scary Twilight Zone music and he starts singing alone] Dodododododododododo. [Waits] Hmm...
Mimiru: [Pokes Tsukasa with her sword] What are you doing?
Tsukasa: DO NOT INTERRUPT THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF BLUE BIRDS!
Mimiru: Why?
Tsukasa: Because they are scared. They fear for their very power is slipping away.
Mimiru: Really?
Tsukasa: Yes. AND WE MUST SAVE THE WONDERFUL WORLD OF BABIES!
BT: [Magically appears in a cloud of sparkles] I am Gaia, the spirit of Earth. I now send five magic rings to five special young people. [Throws up five little 99 cent rings]
Tsukasa: TO ARMS!
Bear & Crim: [Sitting on the couch] No.
Tsukasa: But...the baboons!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says that we must saves these Baboons.
Bear: Don't play along with him!
BT: But I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, am not playing!
Subaru: [Skips in] Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii there!
Everyone: [Ingores Subaru]
Subaru: u.u What have I ever done to you!
Crim: You rode a boat.
Subaru: Oh yeah! [Kicks Bear and Crim off the couch and starts singing Fake Wings] Shine...bright morning light...
Tsukasa: Can we save the bohemians now?
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says yes! [Throws up a cloud of sparkles]
Mimiru: Sparkles?
Fireplace: [Comes to life and gives a demonic laugh]
Bear: Dude, the fire is talking to us. We've gotta make...CONTACT!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says that it must be done after the bohemians are saved!
Tsukasa & BT: [Run out of the room and leave their staffs]
Fireplace: [Still giving the demonic laugh]
Bear: He gets angry.
Crim: Quick! Poke it! Poke it with a stick! [Grabs a stick and begins poking the Fireplace]
Fireplace: [Pops]
Bear: YOU'VE KILLED HIM!
Crim: I did?
Bear: He was so young...and full of life.
Sora: [Skips in wearing a pirates hat] Arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!
Mimiru: Whats that mean? Arrrrrrr?
Sora: Nothing, I'm just bored.
Subaru: [In tune] We... all are bored!
Bear: Let's get not bored.
Crim: How?
Bear: Uh...
Ginkan: I have a question!
Everyone: WHAT??!
Ginkan: Why am I called "Silver Knight" in American? Aren't they all...silver?
Subaru: [Stops singing and jumps off the couch] YOU ARE DOUBTING MY JUDGEMENT?! AHEM! No, you are not all silver. You are Silver. They are grey.
Ginkan: I see.
Crim: They should be Crimson! Or Scarlet...whatever...but a nice shade of red.
Subaru: They should be blue. Ginkan deary, call the Crimson/Scarlet Knights.
Ginkan: Um...okay...[walks away]
Sora: I'm leaving now.
Everyone: Bye...
Sora: [Skips out]
Mimiru: I'm hungry. Bear go get me something to eat.
Bear: Why should I.
Mimiru: Because if you don't, [sniff] I'll cry.
Bear: Should I...care?
Mimiru: Yes.
Bear: Later. FIRST WE MUST MAKE CONTACT! [pulls out a Quija board] Now everyone join hands! [Grabs Mimiru and Crim hands]
Sabaru: Sorry! I need to go get my paint! [Runs away]
Bear: But I need a four people!
Crim & Mimiru: Oh my, doesn't that suck. We'll, I'd be going now...
Bear: NO! BILLYWITCHDOCTER.COM SAYS YOU NO GO! I shall use my magical powers.
Kite: [Pops up] Hi!
Everyone: Hi!
Bear: Now join hands. [Crim and Mimiru grab Kites hands] Ahem. [Stands up and starts hitting BT's staff on the Qujia board] Arise chicken, arise! Arise chicken, arise!
Crim: Thats not funny.
Bear: [Drops the staff and sighs] I know...I know...
Kite: Can I go now?
Mimiru: Nope!
Kite: [Cries]
Tsukasa & BT: [Walk back in holding 20 Bambo peices]
Kite: Tsukasa!
Tsukasa: Kite!
They run too eachother and start jumping up and down and talking about stuff like little girls.
Crim: [Sigh] It's boring again.
Bear: We need to make...CONTACT!
Mimiru: ...We don't NEED too, we WANT too.
Bear: Yes. And we want too, right?
Mimiru: I don't!
Crim: I don't either!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, would like to know what you are not doing.
Bear: We are about to make CONTACT!
BT: Let our powers combine!
Bear: Earth!
Crim: Fire!
Mimiru: Wind!
Subaru: [Magically Appears] Water!
Tsukasa: Heart!
Everyone: Gooooooooooooooooooooo Planet!
Elk: [Magically Appears] When your powers combine, I am Captain Pla- WHERE IS MAI! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
Everyone but Elk: Captain Planet. He's our hero. Gonna tak- Okay I'm bored again.
Elk: Oh well. [Takes out some Aromatic Grass and gets high] Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeee...
Ginkan & Crismon/Scarlet Knights: [Walk in]
Subaru: Like, yey! Grab a paintbrush! It's painting time!
Everyone: [Paints the Crimson/Scarlet Knights Blue and Ginkan Pink]
Subaru: There, you have color now!
Random Crismon/Scarlet/Now Blue Knight: We HAD color befo-
Subaru: BEGON! [Lifts her hands and Random Crimson/Scarlet/Now Blue Knight turns to ashes] Now all of you leave! But you Ginkan/Sliver Knight/Now Pink Knight.
Crimson/Scarlet/Now Blue Knights: [Leave]
Ginkan: Don't I look pretty?
Subaru: You are a very pretty lady.
Ginkan: Yey! n.n
Crim: Hey...
Everyone: WHAT!
Crim: I got paint on my shirt.
Subaru, Mimiru, & Ginkan: YOU POOR BABY! [Start comforting Crim]
Crim: Yeah well...I don't...have any-
Kite: [watching TV] SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! [Everyone stops] Health insurance comerical.
So everyone watches the Health insurance comerical with awe.
Crim: So, uh...I don't have any other shirts...
Subaru: WE MUST GO SHOPPING!
Crim: No, really, just wash it please.
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says we shall go shopping!
Crim: No, I've got this cleaning stuff that really works!
Subaru: Ginkan! Grab him!
Ginkan: [Picks up Crim and walks to the mini-van]
Crim: THIS REALLY ISN'T NEEDED!
Everyone: ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP! YEY!!! [Run into the car]
Tsukasa: Okay. So, who knows how to drive.
Elk: [Still High] I do Mr. Piglet. You should pick me. Cause I'll fly us to a nice little haven...with all the Aromatic you can want...
Subaru: I never learned.
Crim: [Tied up in the back seat for no real reason]
Kite: I'm too young!
Bear: I could drive...
Everyone: YEY!
Bear: But when we get home, we'll have to make...CONTACT!
Everyone: Booooooooo!
Bear: Then I guess we're not getting Crim's shirt.
Crim: [muffled] May!
Everyone but Crim: Nooooooooooo!
Mimiru: Lets take the bus!
Everyone: Lets not!
Bear: [gets tied up and thrown into the back seat]
Subaru: GINKAN!
Ginkan: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat, Lady Subaru?
Subaru: Drive us to the store.
Ginkan: Yes Ma'am! [hops in the drivers seat]
BT: I, Gaia, The spirit of earth, calls shotgun!
---Shopping center---
The group is standing looking at one of those big map thingys that are in the mall. Oh, Bear and Crim are still tied up.
Tsukasa: Okay. So I'll lead Team A, Kite, Elk, and Gaia, while Team B goes with Mimiru, Subaru and Ginkan. GOOOO! [runs off]
Team A
Store- GAP
Elk: [Still stoned] Woah...look at all these colors. They're like...jumping at me.
Kite: [Looking at a orange shirt] Maybe because your standing in the bright colors section!
Elk: Oh...woah...Tuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurkey! [Chases a 'turkey']
BT: [walks out with a dress on] I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, must ask. Does this dress make I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, fat?
Tsukasa: Not at all! [Picks up a dress and puts it to him] God, this makes my hips look giant.
BT: Purple isn't you, so says I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth.
Tsukasa: Oh that skirt there, [points to a green skirt the same color as BT's clothes] that is soooooooo you.
Kite: Tsussy-kun! I'm bored! I haven't found any red shirts.
Elk: [Running around in the back with all the red shirts] Come back here turkey! I have the forbidden color which must be burried!
Tsukasa: Well I guess we should get moving. But I am soooooo buying this. [Holds up a white shirt]
Kite: That will look cute on you!
Tsukasa: Really?
Kite: Nope!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, says that we must get moving!
Team B
Store: Playboy/Playgirl store thing
Subaru: [Holding up the Playboy bunny suit] Hmmm. I think its cute.
Ginkan: But you don't look good in black.
Subaru: [Slaps Ginkan] I LOOK GOOD IN EVERYTHING! HEAR THAT!? EVERYTHING!
Mimiru: [Looking at a Playgirl] This store is sick and twisted...why are we in here?
Ginkan: Red shirt!
Subaru: Red shirt! [Turns to the man behind the counter] Red shirt?
Dude behind counter: Man or woman?
Subaru: Man...I think.
Dude behind counter: We only have one shirt in at this moment...you may not like it!
Subaru: Try me!
Dude behind counter: [Gives her a red shirt]
Subaru: Hm...Ginkan, what does, "Flamer" mean?
Ginkan: [Looking at Mimiru's Play Boy] He likes fire?
Subaru: Oooh! We'll take it!
Team A
Store: KB Toys
Elk: [Staring at a toy] Hey! Kim! Come here and look at this!
Kite: Yes, its a Furby.
Elk: It's the...tuuuuuuuuuurkey...but look at it go up...and down...and up...and down...
Kite: [Backs away slowly]
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, must ask, why are we here?
Tsukasa: We followed Elk in here remember? [Looks at the video games and sees the .hack series] Oh...my...
Kite: Gasp!
Tsukasa: What?!
Kite: ITS A BOMB! [points to a bomb on the Furby]
Elk: [holding the Furby] It's so cute!
Tsukasa: OH THE IRONY! RUN!!!!!!!!
Furby: [Explodes]
Team B
Store: Maceys
Subaru: [Singing] So you wanna be a masta?
Ginkan & Mimiru: Pokemon!
Subaru: Do you have the skills to be-
Ginkan & Mimiru: Number one!
Subaru, Ginkan, & Mimiru: [Walks out of Maceys and into the mall] We all live...in a pokemon world, POK-E-MON!
Furby: [Explodes]
Mimiru: What was that?!
Subaru: What ever it was, it made me lose my place in the song. [Sees a contest] OH MY!!! [Jumps up on the yacht prize and sings Fake wings] Shine...bright morning light...
Ginkan: Well I'm going to call up Tsukasa on my magic cell phone to make sure hes okay. [Calls Tsukasa] Hello? Tsukasa? Oh yeah hi. We heard an explosion. You alright? Ok good.
Mimiru: Um...Ginkan...
Ginkan: Not now Mimiru! Whats that? Oh! We've got a shirt too!
Mimiru: But Ginkan!
Ginkan: Shush! No, its Mimiru. She won't stop bot-
Mimiru: STOP TALKING INTO MY BOOBS! [Slaps Ginkan]
Ginkan: Hmph! Well...I'll let you hang up then.
Sora: [Jumps in] Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Ginkan & Mimiru: Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
Sora: Isn't this story going long?
Mimiru: Mr. Author doesn't wanna make another chapter, so why not give them alot!!
Team A: [Walks up all burnt] Ow...it burns...
Ginkan: YEY! YOUR ALIVE!
Elk: But my Turkey isn't! [Holds up the dead Furby]
Tsukasa: KB Toys is evil...don't go there...for it is a spawn of evil and evil is something...we all don't like.
Kite: Kannufrutesstoneaahappeyleef.
Everyone: [Stare]
Kite: Nothing.
Tsukasa: So, lets head back!
Sora: Can I come?
Everyone: Hmmm...Nah.
---Mini-van---
Ginkan: Hiya Bear! Hiya Crim!
Bear & Crim: Mwhya!
BT: I, Gaia, the spirit of Earth, shall say, group A was busy with our own needs to care about yours. So we didn't get you a shirt.
Crim: MAY!
Subaru: I got you one! [Holds up the 'Flamer' shirt]
Crim: >.>
Kite: So, can we go now?
Ginkan: TIME TO DRIVE HOME TO PARTY!
Tsukasa: [Magically appears infront of the swirly thing again] So you see. Crim got his shirt. Subaru got her new knights. Bear never got his contact, Mimiru still askes question, me and Kite got married, Elk is still a junkie, Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, is still the tree hugging bitch she once was and Sora never got more then 5 lines. Everything turned out alright in the end...or did it? See you next time in...The Wonderful World of Bonzi Trees... [Twilight Zone music plays] Dododododododododododo!
Everyone: TSUKASA!!!!!!
ThE eNd TiLl ThE nExT tImE wE mEeT !