Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ Waking Up on the Wrong Side of the Universe ( Chapter 104 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Comb was disturbed, deeply and personally, and not for the usual reasons that one might have said that about her (in polite company, and well away from prying gossips). She had returned home to a darkened restaurant only to be confronted by the news that her grandmother had gone charging off to face a foe so formidable that even she had seemed daunted…so much so that she had even agreed to take Siren along for backup (and if anyone knew even slightly about their personal history together they would have found that just as disturbing).

Her two daughters had taken her immediately to the place where they had last seen their indomitable elder go charging off in full battle regalia, but by the time they had gotten there it was as if the place had never been there to begin win. A vacant lot greeted their arrival, as though the building itself had vanished. Even Hairbrush (who had insisted on coming along in spite of Comb's admonition about danger) seemed disturbed by that little revelation (and Comb would have been the first to swear that her unflappable husband was incapable of looking so worried).

That left Comb with some decidedly unpleasant prospects to consider. True she did not always get along with her grandmother (well…technically speaking, she almost NEVER got along with her, or agreed with her all that often, but let's not quibble about the finer points) but still Cologne was family and her family's Elder. The idea that there was something out there that could even frighten the Amazon Matriarch was a more than alarming prospect in and of itself, but to think that such a force was let loose in Nerima? That was truly frightening! Never mind that Cologne and Siren had vanished with the building, whatever was capable of even inconveniencing the two of them was truly a menace the likes of which Comb dared not even imagine!

If there was one bedrock, unshakable conviction in Comb's life it was that Cologne the Elder was an invincible bedrock of strength and towering perfection in the arts of war and combat. Growing up under her tutelage had been a frustrating ordeal, for as hard as Comb would try to master Amazon techniques, she never seemed capable of living up to the Matriarch's exacting standards. Even to earn a compliment was like being given a bone to chew over and could make Comb bask for days in the thought that she might have achieved something praiseworthy. Cologne had been her ideal of what it meant to be a warrior, and the impossibility of even approaching her as a warrior had tormented Comb all through her difficult and trying adolescence. It was only later, when she came to question Cologne's sense of moral right and wrong, that Comb began to see her grandmother in a different, less flattering light, when compromise and expediency could often overrule a warrior's sense of honor and justice.

Not that Cologne was inherently a bad person-oh no, far from it! Comb respected her Elder as both a tribal leader and a leading example of outwardly exemplary behavior. Comb knew her grandmother was no where near as cold and ruthless as she might pretend to be before others, and often Cologne would bend the rules as she saw fit to achieve a kind of qualified justice. The problem was that Cologne was also stubbornly convinced that she was either always in the right or must at least appear to be magnanimous in conceding an error. The frustrations of youth had clashed with the superior airs of a matronizing (not to be confused with patronizing, of course) condescension, the infuriating "I'm right and you'd better bloody well get used to it" smugness that nearly all Elders manifested (Lotion being a rare and rather remarkable exception).

When Comb had chosen to give up her warrior status it had led to a near-permanent rift between them as Grandmother and Granddaughter. Comb had begun to see her Elder in an entirely different light after experiencing the world outside of Amazon borders. It had been a hard fight to win her freedom so that she might pursue her true calling as a Healer, and in the end she had been forced to make that damnable bargain that consigned Shampoo to be her replacement, but with that one exception, Comb had never regretted her decision. Becoming a doctor had been one of the proudest moments of her life, second only to becoming a mother and taking Hairbrush for her husband, and it had allowed her to give back to the world instead of taking from it like a trained killer.

In the privacy of her heart Comb was gratified to know how very much Shampoo had turned out to be just like her. On odd moments Comb even entertained the notion of encouraging her daughter to pursue a career in medicine, though it seemed just as likely that Shampoo might wind up as a talented engineer, like her father. Either way, Comb was so proud of her oldest child and was equally amused at the thought of how much it would irk Cologne to see yet another of her bloodline turn away from the path of violence to embrace life itself in a fear more constructive manner.

Of course even though Comb still nursed a deep resentment of her Elder for forcing such a difficult choice upon her, keeping her from being a proper mother to Shampoo, she still did not harbor ill feelings towards Cologne that would make her wish for bad things to happen (well, other than possibly having either Happosai or Siren press home their claims as potential suitors, a thought which brought a smile to her lips even in the midst of her distress over the looming crisis).

There were very few beings in the world that Comb knew about who could be a potential threat to her grandmother. One of them, of course, was Prince Herb of the Musk Dynasty, another was Lord Saffron of Phoenix Mountain. The international criminal known as Vega or the Hong Kong based thug known as Geese Howard were said to be dangerous men on a level comparable to an Amazon Elder, but Comb doubted either one could be involved here. It was troubling to think of how many beings of power her grandmother might have encountered in her three hundred years of life, and just how many of them might nurse a grudge of long standing, but what narrowed the list of potential candidates down was a casual reference that Ling-Ling had made to the enemy being referred to as an Oni. Comb had pressed for further details and heard Lung-Lung confirm that their great-grandmother and Siren had definitely called their enemy an Oni and referred to her as female.

That could only mean one thing, and Comb sincerely hoped that she was wrong about this. Although it was well before her time that the events had transpired, the legend of the sealing of the Oni Princess known as Ganglot was still told in hushed whispers to frighten small Amazon children into obeying their elders. If this was indeed the Demoness who had elevated Happosai from minor nuisance to the Demon Master that he was today, then it would go a long way to explaining her grandmother's behavior.

And having arrived at this thought after long and diligent contemplation, Comb came to a second, even more disturbing conclusion on what she would have to do about this if she were to be of any assistance at all to her family's Elder. As much as it galled her she would have to swallow her pride and do the one thing she hated next to admitting to an error.

She would have to find Atsuko and (Comb gritted her teeth) petition the Oni to help Comb against her own grandmother!

As she turned away with her family, however, a lone figure approached the lot from another angle, careful not to be seen by the healer, her husband and daughters. That figure limped up to where the sidewalk met bare ground and surveyed the space before herself with more than normal scrutiny, nodding faintly to herself before remarking aloud, "Impressive…she has grown powerful indeed, every bit as much as I dared to hope for."

Lotion paused a moment, took a deep breath, then raised her staff on high, but rather than lash out at the illusion she instead reached out with her mind to penetrate the field, merging with its emanations, then made a parting motion that drew it partially back as one might a curtain. The opening was sufficiently wide enough to pass through, so she strode through this gap and allowed it to close behind her, giving no evidence that she had even been there in the first place.

On the other side of the curtain, doors opened to admit her, and through this open portal the Lore Master continued her journey, pausing only when she was fully inside the studio to rest her staff at her side, waiting patiently for her presence to be acknowledged.

Ganglot stepped out from a nearby wall-length painting and smiled in warm greeting, giving Lotion an encouraging nod before saying, "Sorry to keep you waiting…I was tied up in a meeting. I am so glad to finally have the chance to meet with you in person…may I hope the sentiment works both ways?"

"You may indeed assume this," Lotion nodded, "I come in peace, Princess of the Oni, on behalf of myself and the people whom I represent. May I take it for granted that the Matriarch proceeded me here?"

"You may indeed assume this," Ganglot replied, "I can take you to see her if you like…she's enjoying the hospitality that I provided to her, but I feel she needs a neutral presence to help calm her down, for she seems quite agitated at the moment."

"Can't imagine why," Lotion permitted herself a smile, "She has Siren with her?"

"Oh yes," Ganglot chuckled, "They seem quite inseparable…or at least so much so that I think the Matriarch has finally met her match."

"Good," Lotion's tone grew serious, "There is much that we need discuss, you and I."

"I totally agree," Ganglot waved to the painting, "Can I introduce you to the family? We're serving cakes and ice cream on behalf of the grandkids."

"I would enjoy that very much indeed," Lotion started forward again, "The Matriarch can wait a bit longer…I'm sure she's getting along just fine in her current living arrangement…"

"Honestly," Siren sighed, "You're making such a mountain out of a molehill…"

"That's what you say!" Cologne snapped as she continued to explore along the edges of their nominal prison, "You could at least try helping me find a way to escape from this pocket dimension."

"Why?" Siren asked as she perched on the rock that she was currently using as a chair, "I like it fine where we are…I'm in no hurry to go anywhere at the moment, and the view here is spectacular."

Cologne caught the Archmage's leer as the blonde regarded the Matriarch with a saucy expression. Looking hastily away rather than acknowledge that token of interest, Cologne's tone became noticeably more frosty, "What about whatever that Demoness intends to do to our people on the outside? Have you no care for their welfare?"

"Well, that's just the point," Siren mused, "What danger are they currently faced with from Ganglot? I've been asking myself that question all along now…I mean, it's obvious that she's been in the Nerima area for a while now, long enough to build up her power reserves so that she can pull something like this on the two of us. If she were truly intending to bring harm against those whom she might blame for her imprisonment it seems to me that she had time to come up with something even more nasty."

"Nastier than being trapped here with you?" Cologne taunted.

"Is that really your idea of Hell?" Siren returned a smile that as much as doubted the sincerity of that statement, "I should think a bondage setting complete with whips, chains and implements of torture would figure into that somewhere…although to me that would form a kinky kind of Heaven."

"Can't you be serious for once?" Cologne snapped.

"Must you be serious all the time?" Siren countered, "At least try and view this as a wonderful practical joke that Ganglot must be playing on the two of us…although I more suspect her target is more you than myself as I wasn't a party to her being imprisoned in the first place. That would be my mentor, Ancestors watch and guide her, who helped craft the wards that locked the Oni into her stone pyramid, largely on your recommendation I might hasten to add."

"You mean a prison much like this?" Cologne waved her hand at their metaphorical surroundings, "This is her idea of irony?"

"Beyond question," Siren stretched out her legs stood up again, then began sauntering in a slow walk that paced our a semi-circle around said stone, "A Corealis trap works to direct all outward energy in a circle radiating out from the center. No matter how much force you use it cannot break free from the net. It's a wonderfully practical way of holding a being of vast power in place…only someone who is utterly at peace within themselves can escape the hold of such a prison."

"At peace?" Cologne responded.

"Pure Satori," Siren replied, "Holistic integration of mind and body, being at one with your center and all that philosophical talk that Zen priests like to go on about. A prison of this nature uses a person's own desires against them, trapping you with your own emotions, which intensify the field and increase the power of the web that holds us in place. I would call such a thing diabolically clever, but that might be overstating things a bit so I'd settle for calling it her idea of Poetic Justice."

"Justice…or vengeance?" Cologne challenged.

"For you, is there a difference?" Siren asked, "Kho-chan…I know you don't want to hear this, but are you so utterly and unshakably convinced that Ganglot is truly evil?"

"What do you mean?" Cologne frowned.

"I mean that you heard her as well as I did," Siren turned around to confront the blue-black haired Elder, "She was angry with you for accusing her of causing the death of your brother, a man she loved and still calls her husband. She could well have carried out her threat to punish you if that had been her intention, but instead she left you here with me, which may not be ideal for you but certainly gives me some entertainment value to while away the time with."

"I'm so glad to see that you're taking matters so seriously," Cologne's tone was arched and sarcastic.

"As serious as they warrant," Siren replied, inclining her head to one side, "But don't avoid my question. Do you still believe that Ganglot is truly evil?"

Cologne did not immediately respond, but her sullen dark eyes glinted faintly like rubies as she considered the point, then said, "I know what was she like before we imprisoned her. Rogaine trusted her and paid for it with his life, and then she elevated Happosai just to annoy me…" anger caused her tone to grow even more harsh, "…And then he plundered our treasures while avoiding a direct confrontation. He almost could have defeated me and become my husband but for a quirk of his nature that might have been decency in a different person. She did this to punish me, so don't think I'm ready to forgive her, though it surprises me that you would side with her given that your family was among those who were looted."

"Ouch," Siren winced, "You make it sound as if I have to chose sides between you. I'm just pointing out that her behavior is not consistent with what I would tend to define as evil."

"And if you did have to choose sides?" Cologne asked.

"I'd go with you, of course," Siren replied, "That isn't even a question. I'm only asking for the sake of honesty that you consider what you think you know in the light of what we've experienced. If you decide to continue your quest to fight with her, then you know I will not stand against you. I love you too much for that, but to see you waste yourself in a pointless quest for revenge…that isn't a quest that I want to be a part of. I'll stand with you at the gates of Hell, but I won't help you destroy yourself. The choice is yours to make, I'm just offering to be your ally, not your patsy."

Cologne looked away, her expression unreadable, her tone giving no hint as to the state of her emotions, "And what makes you think that she might have changed over the years?"

"We've changed," Siren reasoned, "You're not the same as you were when we were both young girls any more than I am. Life has changed us both, made us what we are, confronted us with choices that at every point have given us the chance to explore options. Now consider that Ganglot has adapted to the current age and seems quite different from what you and I remember…she obviously is not suffering from culture shock, nor does she behave like someone who has been locked away in virtual stasis, suffering sensory depravation and still locked in thought to seventeenth century thinking."

"Your point being?" Cologne asked.

"Just a theory I'd like to test," Siren scanned the sky then waved her hands and caused the area around themselves to shimmer and reform. Walls enclosed them, forming an Amazon-style house, and then shifted to a more Japanese décor, and from there took on a modern cast complete with stereo, home entertainment center, and television (complete with VCR attachment).

"Impressive," Cologne remarked, "But what does this accomplish?"

"Reality is malleable here," Siren said with a thoughtful expression, "It is possible to reshape our immediate environs with a thought…but the real question is how viable the illusions are. Let's test the second part of my theory, shall we?"

Thus stated, Siren walked over to the couch and picked up a remote control, pressed a button that caused the TV to click on, and after a moment of flipping around the channels the picture came to resolve upon the sight of two young people walking side-by-side down a darkened street.

"Well now," Siren mused with interest, "I believe that I've seen those two before…"

"Kuonji Ukyo and Tendo Akane?" Cologne blinked, "Is this something else that you've created?"

"Not at all," Siren replied, "This appears to be something like a Scrying spell…a force connects this signal to the outside world, allowing us to see outward, even if we can't transport ourselves outside of this prison."

"A Scrying spell," Cologne's expression turned thoughtful, "What are it's limits?"

"I don't know," Siren smiled, "It might be fun to find out. Let's watch a bit and see what interesting things are about to happen."

"I suppose there is no harm in that," Cologne conceded, sitting down on the floor, only to find a couch manifested beneath her.

"It think this will be more cozy," Siren smiled as she sat down beside her, "I'd offer you popcorn, but I doubt the substance of this place would bend that far. We probably won't experience real hunger for quite a while if I understand the physics of this place correctly."

"Just remember to stay on your side," Cologne said warily, sparing a side-glance at the Enchantress before turning her attention to the events taking place on the screen, which were indeed beginning to look interesting from their vantage…

"Ucchan," Akane asked as she leaned her head against the bishonen boy's shoulder, "Does it bother you so much when I tell you how much I like you?"

"Eh?" Ukyo-kun blinked his eyes, "Ah…what makes you ask that, Akane?"

"I don't know," Akane heaved a sigh, staring off at the darkened streets through which they were presently walking, "It just seems like you're avoiding something whenever you're with me. You don't have to be afraid of hurting my feelings, you know…I'll understand if you don't want me around."

Ukyo was dubious about responding to this, convinced that it very much would upset Akane if he admitted that he did find her flirtatious behavior more than a little bit disturbing. He was still trying to come to terms with the fact that he had actually "slept around" with her behind Makoto's back during their recent trip to Paris (well, actually sleeping had very little to do with it, being that it took place inside an elevator and all that…). He was-naturally enough-very much aware of Akane's femininity and considered her both personally and physically attractive, and it was flattering to his ego to know how much Akane seemed to care about Ukyo in both of his/her forms, but still…

But still he had made a pledge to Makoto, a promise he wanted very much to keep no matter how much circumstances seemed to be conspiring against them.

"I never said I never wanted you around, Sugar," Ukyo began, wincing at the double negative he was using, "But you can come on a little strong sometimes. Most girls our age would be more self-conscious about the image they make in public…"

"I know," Akane sighed, "It's just…I get so tired of having to be a 'good little girl' all of the time, living up to what others think I ought to be like. I'm tired of being ridiculed and called a tomboy behind my back, as if I didn't know that I can be a little too aggressive, you know what I mean?"

Ukyo nodded that he did, though he had to admit having his arm around a girl who was sporting a pair of wings on her back did create a rather unusual impression in just about any sense of the word. That few people were out on the street to even notice hardly figured into the equation, though…and in truth Akane seemed more relaxed and easier to get along with when in her "Angel" mode. It almost made Ukyo want to relax and reciprocate by giving into Akane's obvious charms and treating her as a woman deserved to be treated by the guy she cared for.

And that was another thing Ukyo found disturbing…Akane not only liked him, she actually professed to love Ukyo, to really and truly love him, which made Ukyo feel…more than a little bit unnerved, really. Ukyo cared a lot more about Akane than he liked to let on, but was it love? It wasn't like what Ukyo felt around Makoto, but that difference did not necessarily mean that she felt anything less for one girl over the other. He still wanted to be with both of them, but if pressed to the point he wanted to be with Makoto.

Saying so aloud, however, would crush Akane's spirit, and that was something Ukyo could not allow, regardless of how disloyal he felt or how torn-up inside it made him. As long as Akane felt this way towards Ukyo there would be no peace in Ukyo's soul, not unless a miracle happened and his two loves learned to kiss and make up, like Shampoo and Nabiki had done with Ranma.

Trying to find a delicate way of expressing his thoughts, Ukyo said aloud, "I understand what it's like, Sugar, having people talk about you like you're not in the room or you don't have feelings. I went through that back when I decided to stop being a woman, when I thumbed my nose at what other people thought and said about me. I found the only opinion that matters is my own, that I have to be true to myself, to who I am, and stop living my life for others. Either they accept me as I am or they can take a hike, either way I don't bother losing sleep about it."

"Thank you," Akane hugged Ukyo all the more tightly, obviously savoring the contact of having his shoulder to rest her head against, "I wish I could be more like you, Ucchan. You're the most together guy I know, and I really hope you do like me because I…I think I…more than like you…"

Ukyo swallowed, not feeling at all together in his thoughts, which was why he almost did not pick up on the impending sense of danger before it was too late. Fortunately long training and instinct combined to make him grip Akane by the shoulder and yank her away just instants before a steel girder came down and crashed against the pavement where they had been standing.

Ukyo at once positioned himself between the winged girl and the place where he sensed the source of the danger, a shadowy figure emerging from the cabin of the crane that had just dropped the offending girder.

"Who are you and what do you want?" Ukyo demanded, assuming a defensive crouch.

The shadowy figure leaped from the cabin to perch atop the wooden fence, revealed for all to see as a Kunoichi Ninja. The eyes alone were visible, but Ukyo at once recognized their assailant as the same one who had hurled the tray at them inside the Topless Bar.

"That's twice you've escaped me," a high-tenor (or possibly soprano) voice called down to them, "But no one can survive three times against me."

"Don't be so sure of that, Sugar," Ukyo half-smiled, his battle instincts raised by the sense that he could pound on this one and relieve himself of his pent-up tensions.

The Kunoichi hurled razor-sharp shuriken Ukyo's way, but quick as a shot she drew her baker's peel and deflected these harmlessly off to one side (or not so harmless as a second later a yelp escaped from the walkway sign against which all three throwing stars were imbedded).

"HEY!" complained the angry figure who emerged from behind the sign, "Watch that, those things smart"

"Huh?" Akane looked from the Kunoichi to this figure and back again with a most perplexed expression.

Ukyo ignored the complaints from Tsubasa, keeping his focus squarely upon the actual menace as the ninja drew blade and charged at him. Steel rang against spatula and the attack was easily turned aside, forcing the Kunoichi to somersault backwards and land in a defensive crouch out of reach of Ukyo's counter-thrust. Like a shot the black-clad figure struck the ground with a smoke pellet and called up a billowing cloud all around them, melting into the smoke as if merging with its elemental substance. Ukyo did not lower his guard as he waited for the next thrust to happen, and when it did he easily turned the blade to one side with the handle of his weapon, turning to meet the Kunoichi as a backward thrust with the blade end of his spatula shoving forward at chest level.

The Kunoichi, however, proved no less adept and fell backwards in an amazing display of dexterity and physical control, catching "her" weight with her hands as she jack-knifed into a backwards handstand, righting herself again before calling out to Ukyo, "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME! You and your kin will pay for what you did to my home and my sisters!"

The Kunoichi began to turn around to flee, only to find the way blocked by a wall of white feathers that suddenly flashed into her face and knocked her casually sprawling. Akane flexed her wings in satisfaction then folded them behind her back, giving the fallen ninja a smug look before saying, "That's for ruining my date, you jerk! Next time show some manners!"

"Ah…" Ukyo decided not to raise the point about this being a "date" or not and instead walked over to the fallen ninja before toeing her gently to determine if she were truly unconscious. Satisfy that the ninja was not merely faking it, he knelt to examine the ninja, pulling loose the mask to reveal a face of surpassing beauty.

"Who is she?" Akane asked with a note of wonder, unable to help admitting that she found that face disturbingly attractive.

"Don't really know," Ukyo admitted, "Must be part of that place we bombed about an hour or so ago…or rather Gramps did. Sure doesn't look a bit like her alleged sisters."

"You bombed her home?" Akane said in amazement.

"It's a long story," Ukyo replied, "Let's just say that truth in advertising isn't what it used to be. It wasn't my idea, any part of it, but now it looks like I've got me an enemy, all thanks to Ranma's great granddad."

"Too bad," Akane said, "She's really cute."

"If you go for the type," Ukyo gave Akane an amused expression before turning his focus back on the unconscious ninja, "Ordinarily I wouldn't have unmasked her…it's a courtesy among Ninja clans that we only show our faces with those we trust. It's considered bad luck to be unmasked by an enemy, but since she was the one who insisted on attacking us…"

Ukyo checked the pulse on the Kunoichi, then did a double take and pressed his fingers against the ninja's throat to make doubly certain. With a hint of wonder he declared, "Well I'll be-better make that a he instead of a her! This guy may look like a girl but she's got an Adam's apple that's entirely the wrong shape!"

"WHAAT?" Akane reacted, even as the ninja's eyes flew open and instant recognition caused the fallen foe to respond to the perceived threat to HIS person!

"PERVERT!!!" he cried, slapped Ukyo's hand away and lashing out with an elbow that knocked the okonomiyaki chef sprawling.

"Ucchan!" Akane began to react when the black-clad figure vaulted to his feet with a nimbleness that utterly surprised her.

"You'll regret seeing my face!" the ninja declared as he snatched up his mask and hastily covered his face in one quick motion, "Mark me well, I'll be avenged on you yet!"

And with that the figure vaulted away, vanishing into the night before Akane could even think to take wing to follow.

"That…Jackass!" Ukyo swore as he felt along his jaw, getting back to his feet in spite of Akane's well-intentioned best efforts.

"Who the heck was that, Ucchan?" asked the cross-dressing Tsubasa , who limped up to join them while vigorously rubbing his sore bottom beneath the dress that he was wearing.

"Damned if I know," Ukyo replied, "He's good, whoever he is…but the way he acts…"

"I know," Akane said, "He's even more feminine than I am. Hey…do you suppose he also has a curse?"

"Could be," Ukyo began to say when Tsubasa made a huffing noise in Akane's direction.

"You feminine? Oh puh-leese!" the cross-dresser huffed, "I'm way lots more feminine than you, and better built to boot! I don't see what Ucchan finds so attractive about a tomboy like you…"

"What did you just say to me?" Akane's temper flared, her feathers looking more than a little ruffled.

"Ah…guys?" Ukyo sensed impending trouble, "Tsubasa, I've told you to stop following me around. You know it isn't right…"

"Well, what else am I supposed to do, Ucchan?" Tsubasa looked pleadingly towards his fellow cross-dresser, "Somebody has to look out for your welfare with this…predatory hussy hanging around looking to take advantage of your sweet nature."

"What?" Akane's anger redoubled, "Who are you calling a predatory hussy?"

"Ah…guys?" Ukyo was torn between the desire to interpose himself between them or take cover, as simple self-preservation would have demanded.

"You, that's who," Tsubasa got up in Akane's face and said the near fatal words, "You're butt ugly!"

Ukyo closed her eyes and winced, saying a silent prayer to the kami…

It would have fascinated Ukyo no doubt to know that at this very instant several of the said kami were peering down through the Dimensional Mirror Portal that they used to survey events in the mortal world, and that several beings among this divine audience were simultaneously wincing for just the same reason.

"Oooh," winced Endema, "Now that was brutal!"

"I agree," nodded Ares, "It was violent, pointless and totally excessive, and I loved every second of it. That girl has some real potential."

"You would say that, Bro," sniffed Apollo, "I'm a little confused about all these cross-gender references though. Isn't anyone the right gender that they seem any more? First that girl gets cursed, then she's fooling around with two other girls at the same time, now she's got a pair of cross-dressing guys out for her hide, one to kiss her, the other to kill her. It's enough to even make me seriously reconsider dating."

"I'm with you on that," Thor said gruffly, "It reminds me a little too much of the days when I was a bachelor."

"You mean that business between you, Sif, her sisters and that Giantess you were dating?" Hercules asked his old drinking buddy.

"Something like that, I suspect," said Lugh the Longhanded, "You ask me, though, this Kuonji girl should stop fooling around and make a clear declaration of his intent to marry the Jupiter Senshi."

"Oh, I don't know," mused Bast, "Bird-girl looks like she'd make a nice catch."

"Only you'd like to be the one to pluck out her feathers no doubt," said Loki in a sly, insinuating manner.

"Can't we all just get along?" asked the Norse God known as Forseti, son of Balder and patron God of Justice.

Unnoticed by these Celestial couch potatoes, however, a certain kami by the name of Peorth got up out of her chair and took her leave of their congregation. Something about what they had been watching was disturbing her more than the others, and not just because she had a personal stake in what was happening among these particular mortals.

Akane seemed to be making great progress in her relationship with Kuonji Ukyo, but still there was that divided loyalty that the chef was feeling towards both Akane and Makoto, and in spite of Peorth's past efforts there was no certain guarantee of an eventually happy outcome. And here Peorth thought locking the two of them alone in that elevator on the Eiffel Tower would have been enough to get the ball rolling…

She sighed, reflecting that her recent activities on the mortal plane had attracted some unfavorable attention from Kami-sama himself, who considered her efforts to be a kind of meddling in direct violation of Peorth's stated promise to one of her templates. This was hindering her ability to further influence events, even though she had a perfectly legitimate excuse for her activities, having entered into a contract with Akane that had divine sanction. Peorth relished those moments when she could be with her adopted daughter, even as Akane seemed to thrive on Peorth's company, and one day very soon she would arrange the long-promised meeting between her daughter and the spirit of Kimiko, even as she had already done for Nabiki. Peorth was beginning to remember what it was like to have a family and the warm feeling it gave her made her want to do more in order to insure Akane had a happy marriage.

But perhaps the chef was not the way to go. Perhaps Kami-sama knew something that she did not about the potential for the future. It was entirely conceivable that Ukyo and Makoto were fated to be together and that Peorth's efforts to divide them were wrong-headed and misguided. Perhaps Akane was fated to find love and happiness elsewhere, in which case Peorth's best efforts were entirely misguided.

She had to know for certain if she were fighting fate or working towards its fulfillment, but unfortunately for her the "Foreknowledge of the Future" department was unusually tight-lipped about this one, and simply prognosticating the paths of personal destiny led to too many alternate pathways that could result from a series of choices not yet made by Akane. The Tapestry of Fate was a tricky thing to read even on the best of occasions, and she rather doubted that Kami-sama himself would let her view the actual future that he intended for Akane.

That left one other option, so Peorth steeled herself and made the journey to Mimir's well, finding its guardian, Toltiir, at his usual place surveying the Multiverse and making mischievous alterations wherever it suited his fancy.

"You again?" the Lord of Mischief asked without looking up from his scrying, "I thought you already made your bet entry…"

"This isn't about that," Peorth began, "You recall a while ago a certain conversation regarding the alteration of a particular timeline…"

"I know which one you mean," Toltiir replied, "But it's stabilized into a permanent timeline. If you mean to alter it again…"

"That isn't what I'm asking, mon Cher," Peorth replied, "I like this timeline as it is very much…except that there are a few minor points that worry me, and I'm curious to know something of its future."

Toltiir looked warily at the Rose Goddess before replying, "You know the future's never set in place, Peorth. It weaves and wobbles wherever the mortals tend to take things, and if it merges with another timeline…"

"I know," Peorth replied, "But what I'm really interested in doing is studying the possible alternates to see which one has the most viable outcome."

"Fine tuning you mean?" Toltiir asked, "You know that kind of precision tailoring of the destiny wave isn't possible without triggering the 'Unintended Consequences' effect. It's almost impossible to restrict the number of secondary and tertiary alterations that spiral out of control whenever you change some critical point in the chronology program."

"I wasn't exactly born yesterday, mon Cher," Peorth sniffed, "I'm fully aware of this phenomenon, how even we are not above being affected by such changes…nonetheless, I am curious to know what good or bad things may result from one possible future."

"I suppose we could explore options by creating a 'Similarity and Contagion' profile," Toltiir considered the point, "However…it may mean taking the present timeline temporarily offline…or else creating a Dual wave reinforcement file that could temporarily mean the reestablishment of the original timeline."

"Would that effect the current one adversely?" Peorth asked in concern, "I wouldn't want to make any permanent changes until I was absolutely certain that it would lead to desirable outcomes."

"Hmm…" Toltiir mused, "I think we should go with the Reinforcement option, create a dual-track parallel that will temporarily reestablish the original timeline while preserving the current version. Then we can explore the alternates without risking adverse effects to the present model."

"Good," Peorth nodded, "Then make it so…please?" she smiled sweetly.

Toltiir shrugged his metaphorical shoulders, far from adverse to the charms of the Goddess of the Roses. He turned and surveyed the Well of Mimir and said, "I'll make the necessary adjustments, then we'll start to explore options. This may take a minute or so-in a matter of speaking."

"Take however long you like, Cher," Peorth nodded, then began to rock on the balls of her feet, hoping against hope that she would soon have her answers on what shape the future was destined to follow…

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

You would think after months of going from one crisis to another I could expect to have some break time in order to settle down to something as perfectly ordinary as getting married. Hey, people do it every day, right? Shouldn't be anything too complicated, just walk down the aisle, say a few words, exchange a couple of rings, maybe a kiss or two, then off to the reception for some down-home partying, cut the cake, say a few wishes, toss out the bouquet then elope with my two loves while nobody's looking Simple, right?

Guess that's why I shouldn't entertain such unrealistic expectations.

I went to bed with the expectation that I'd be facing a card game in the morning, one that I absolutely had to win in order to retain possession of my dowry, the dojo (to say nothing of our house as I didn't fancy being a permanent house guest of the Kuonjjis. About the last thing I expected to awake to was the discovery of my own bed, complete with my bedroom, as if the threat of possible eviction had not been looming over my head, to say nothing of the rest of my family.

I sat upright, looking all around to be sure it was my room, but aside from the few things being different (there was a poster of a popular Idol singer over my bed that I knew hadn't been there the night before) and a few other bits of furnishings being moved around, it definitely did look a lot like my bedroom, only without a cuddlesome Sham-chan curled up at my side.

Oh yes…and no computer either, and no CD rack, as if one or the other had never existed.

Then the next thing that woke me up, the sounds of sparring in the yard outside my window. I recognized the sounds of Ranma and Uncle Genma going at it, which meant it had to be around dawn and just about the sunrise. I decided to go join them, feeling the need for a workout myself as the Old Woman is always stressing the need for a healthy mind and body. To tell the truth I actually found I like performing the Dance of Life every morning, and the discipline gives me incredible focus. I can sort things out and increase my alertness, which helps me to cope with the rest of the day and the usual stresses and strains of living in a madhouse full of really interesting people.

The absence of the computer should have clued me in that something was very, very wrong this morning, but I guess I wasn't fully awake just then, and heading down the stairs in my shorts and T-shirt had just seemed natural to me considering how warm the weather's been lately, nor did I pay attention to how quiet it felt as my instincts slowly came alert and my trained perceptions informed me that Daddy was reading the paper and Kasumi was making breakfast in the kitchen. There was no sense of Silk or the Hibikis anywhere about, none of that Shadow presence I always feel in the area about the dojo. In fact the place didn't feel at all like what I remember, and that emptiness was troubling, even as I made my way out back onto the porch, stretching and limbering myself so as to work out the kinks I normally feel when I get up every morning.

"Wait up, Ranma-kun," I called out as I stepped out onto the ground, ready to get in my morning sparring practice so I'd be physically awake when the old woman paid me her usual morning business.

"Eh?" Ranma half turned to look my way, giving his father the opening needed to send the hapless boy into his usual morning swim with the fishes. I chuckled to myself, warmed at the familiar sight of their father-son antics and casually walked up to where Ranma sat sputtering in his girl half, looking mad as a wet hen and probably blaming for taking his mind away from his sparring. I mean, can I help if I'm too distracting to the baka? I should hope I would be, but on this occasion I didn't have a clue as to the surprise that was just about to hit me like a broadside.

Taking pity on my poor, dumb iinazuke, I knelt down and stretched out my hand, saying, "Here, Ranma-kun, let me give you a lift."

"Huh?" I saw her blue eyes flinch away and had my first real hint that something was very wrong about this picture. Ranma stared at my hand, then at me and said, "What's it gonna cost me?"

I, all innocent of the situation, took his comment for a joke and said, "Not a thing, Dummy. Come on, you don't want to be wet when the time comes for us to get to classes."

"Ah…okay," Ranma took my hand and allowed me to provide anchorage as she pulled herself out of the water. I didn't mind the weight since Ranma in this form is a lot smaller than me and not all that heavy, but when I put an arm around her and bent down to give her a kiss I felt Ranma stiffen like a statue, and she didn't kiss back, leading me to wonder if something was wrong, like an enemy was attacking us or something.

"What's wrong, Ranchan?" I asked, once more referring to Ukyo's favorite pet name, and to my shock I saw fear and surprise in her expression.

Ranma pushed away and said, "Wh-what are you trying to do, Nabiki? What the heck's gotten into you?"

"Huh?" I responded, "What do you mean, Ranma-kun? Is there anything wrong with me giving a kiss to my iinazuke?"

"WHA-?" that came from Genma, who was so surprised by my statement he froze in the act of sneaking up on Ranma and actually toppled over on his own power, landing in the koi pond without help from anyone on this particular occasion.

"Eh?" that from Daddy, who looked up from his paper as if I'd just announced that I was running away and joining the circus.

"Oh my," that from Kasumi, who was just then coming out with a tray full of watermelon and took this news in her usual nonchalant fashion, "Ranma-kun, are you changing your engagement?"

"W-W-W-What are you talking about?" Ranma actually went pale as she stared at me as though I had just grown horns and a tail.

And then the inevitable, my sister's voice crying out like a battle cry, "RAAANNNMAAAA!!!"

I turned to see Akane wearing sweat pants and a shirt glaring with absolute hatred and loathing towards the redheaded girl with the "Deer Caught In the Headlights" expression. Akane looked hot and sweaty as if she'd just jogged ten kilometers, but she had more than enough energy to be a credible threat to anyone or anything that got on her bad side.

"What's going on?" I asked, now fully aware of my sense that this was not the friendly family atmosphere to which I was accustomed.

"A-Akane?" Ranma backed away, waving his hands in a warding manner, "I didn't do nothing! I swear! I don't know what's she's talking about…"

"You PERVERT!" Akane began storming forward, "WITH MY OWN SISTER!!!"

I had had enough of being a mere spectator about that point, more than slightly exhausted at having to put up with my sister's periodic rages. I interposed myself in her path so fast that I don't think even she saw me move, and then kept myself positioned squarely between her and Ranma, looking Akane squarely in the eye and saying, "What's gotten into you all of a sudden? Is Ukyo giving you the brush off or something?"

"Ukyo?" I saw blank incomprehension in Akane's eyes, only to be replaced by renewed anger, "YOU MEAN SHE WAS HERE TOO???"

To my complete surprise I was rudely shoved to one side as Akane barreled right through where I had been standing and targeted herself on Ranma, who did not manage to get out of her way before she landed a solid blow that hurled her backwards into the nearest section of wall, cracking it into a cobweb pattern before it crumbled completely half-burying Ranma.

I was no stranger to witnessing Akane's violent and ill-tempered behavior, but this was going to extremes even by my jaded standards. I'm not used to her turning her rages against me, which is no doubt why I spun her around the way I did and landed a slap to her face before she had time enough to react to my action.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I raged, getting right up into her face and giving vent to the full weight of my anger, "Ranma's not your personal punching bag, how dare you do that to him after all the times he's tried being nice to you? Have you got a real problem with your head, SISTER?" I emphasized the word as if there was a distinctive distaste to its pronouncement.

Akane's rages can leave her as fast as they come, and this time I saw bewilderment and hurt take the place of her now-expended anger. She looked up at me with confusion and betrayal, tears forming up in her eyes, and without saying a word she turned and fled for the house, leaving me standing there wondering what the heck had just happened.

Ranma's groan brought me back to my current reality, and I moved at once, gingerly stepping around the rubble, my bare feet much too sensitive to handle the sharp pebbles. I saw Ranma pushing off some of the bricks and larger chunks of stone and I moved to help her pry her loose from the wreckage and soon had my slightly disheveled fiancée (or so I was thinking at this point) standing on her own two feet, bruised and battered but otherwise still beautiful (in my rather biased opinion).

"Feeling better now, Ranma-kun?" I asked, "I'm sorry about my sister…Akane's just out of control some days. I think maybe we should get professional help for her if she's feeling like this over Kuonji."

"Over Ukyo?" I saw the confusion return to Ranma's eyes, "But I keep telling her that she's my friend, not my fiancée. Well, maybe she is, but I don't take that serious, bein' one of the Old Man's ideas…"

"Huh?" it was my turn to be confused, "What are you talking about? I thought you two were just friends…"

"We are!" Ranma rather hastily insisted, "But that's just it! I mean…you don't got pictures of me or nothin' that you're planning on sellin'…?"

"What?" now I really was becoming aware that something was wrong with this picture, "What are you going on about, Ranma? Why would I be selling pictures…you know I promised I'd never do that again, and I'm a woman of my word. Don't tell me you're starting to doubt me one day before the wedding?"

"Wedding?" Ranma's expression would have been comical if not for the dawning sense that she had no idea whatsoever what I was talking about, confirmed by the words, "What wedding?"

"Our wedding, silly," I replied, maybe a bit too hopeful as I felt fear begin to creep over my emotions, "Don't you remember?"

The tray full of watermelons hit the floor, about the only sound to be heard for the next full minute. Everyone was looking at me as though I'd gone insane, including my father and panda-man Genma. Then Ranma did the most natural thing in the world for somebody in her current situation…she fainted dead away at my feet, barely giving me enough time to catch her before her head could make contact with the concrete.

"Oh my," Kasumi said about this point, which nearly summarized my thoughts as I started to wonder what in the hell was going on here…

Continued

Comments/Criticisms/Dual Parallel Crossovers: Shadowmane@msn.com