Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ Wedding Belles ( Chapter 116 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

"Okay, we're here," Usagi remarked, "What do you want us to do?"

"Yeah," Rei agreed, "We got a wedding to attend today, and according to Usagi-chan's cousin they're not holding it at the house or the remains of the dojo."

"Yeah," Makoto agreed, glancing at the bare foundations of what was left after the previous day's explosion, "The old place has looked better. It's gonna take at least a week to rebuild it, even if they use magic like the last time."

"Got that right, Sugar," Ukyo sniffed, "That Cybelle character really did a number on the Tendo place. Too bad for Ranchan's fiancée…that dojo was supposed to be her dowry, not that I think it matters all that much to either one of those lovebirds."

"Still, it's not right to see the place like this," Minako said, "It's so sad. Traditions such as this dojo represent should be protected, not destroyed."

"I quite agree," Ami nodded, "But I don't think that Cybelle had any real appreciation of those traditions. She hardly seemed the type to care about what's important to others."

"No kidding," said a white cat at her side, "In some ways she reminded me a little too much of Beryl."

"Or Mistress Nine," the black cat at his side shuddered in a distinctly feminine voice, "Creepy."

"Yeah, well…we don't have all day to stand around and reminisce," Haruka huffed, "We've got a wedding to attend in a couple of hours, and we didn't get all dressed up like this to be fashionably late for the party."

"Don't mind her," Michiru grinned, "She likes any excuse to dress up in a tux, and she'll certainly took better in it than most of the guys at the wedding."

"Better than me, you mean," Ukyo sniffed.

"Oh…I wouldn't say that," Makoto purred smoothly, "After all…you're best man at the wedding."

"Best WOMAN," Ukyo corrected, but she smiled at her ladylove, for Makoto was far too radiant in her own dress for Ukyo to feel even mild irritation at her beloved.

"I'm sure you will all look wonderful as bridesmaids and guests at your cousin's wedding, Usagi-chan," Mamoru remarked, "But I agree that it is a little odd that you insisted we all be here this early before the ceremony, Lady Lotion."

"It's quite simple, Prince Endymion," the old woman remarked, "The battle against the Royal Flush Gang caused more than structural damage to the property…there is a different sort of damage that was rendered upon the dojo's destruction. This place was a holy site dedicated for over a century to the preservation of a guardian shrine, and its destruction has weakened the barriers that has kept an evil force in line for many a generation."

"I see," Setsuna murmured softly, "And that is why you asked that all of us be present…to help reinforce these wards and to combat the evil thing that will attempt to break through at this most critical juncture."

"SAY WHAT?" many of her fellow senshi exclaimed in one and the same voice.

"Something bad's gonna come out here?" Ukyo asked, "You've gotta be kidding!"

"Would that I were," the Amazon Lore Master replied, "Back during the days before the Meiji restoration a battle was fought here between a terrible Oni from one of the Ninety-Nine Hells and a band of noble warriors who were the ancestors of my apprentice and her iinazuke. A wedding was then performed here to seal the wards in place, and every few generations those wards must be recreated by an enactment of that ceremony. Without this ritual being enacted the barriers will break down and eventually the Oni will be released to seek her vengeance. She will then seek retribution against the heirs of the families that entrapped her in the first place…unless she is stopped here and now…before she has a chance to disrupt the sacred union of the families."

"I see what you mean," Rei said, "If we defeat the Oni now she won't be a problem later on…but…"

"Shouldn't my cousin and Nabiki be the ones to do this?" Usagi asked simply, "After all, they're the ones who have the most at stake here."

"Another time I would agree with you, Moon Princess," the old woman explained, "But this is to be a happy day for my apprentice…a day that will be cherished for happy memories, not a day to be filled with thoughts of battle against a spirit of consummate evil. Besides…you senshi are better equipped to do battle with a spirit of this nature. Your forces combined should prove to be sufficient to hold it at bay until I can recreate the spell that entrapped it in the first place. Think of it as your wedding present to the happy couple, and you won't even have to smudge your nice dresses as your senshi attire is of a more durable nature."

"Maybe so," Haruka said, "But what you're asking is for us to clean up someone else's dirty laundry."

"You don't really mean that," Michiru smiled, "Don't listen to her, Usagi…Haruka-chan has never turned away from any fight for as long as I've known her."

"Princess," Setsuna asked, "Are you agreeable to this proposal? If so, then we, your loyal senshi, stand ready to support you."

"Well…I guess it does make sense," Usagi turned to her dark haired companion, "Rei…you're the expert on spiritual wards and stuff. Do you think we can pull this off?"

"I guess so," Rei nodded, "As a Shine Maiden I have a sacred duty to combat evil spirits wherever they surface, and it does sound like this particular Oni could be as much trouble as that Cybelle creep."

"I guess we can't argue with that," Makoto turned to Ukyo, "But…you sure you'll be all right, Ucchan? I mean…you've never seen what Youma can be like…"

"I think I've got a clue, Sugar," Ukyo nodded, "Fighting demons is getting to be like a side profession. You do what you have to, I'll stand on the sidelines and cheer you guys on."

"You will also bear witness to what is about to transpire," Lotion turned her head in the direction of the koi pond then added, "I think you had better get into position now…I sense the Oni is aware of our presence and is making an attempt to batter free from the wards even as we speak."

"Everyone…into position!" the cat named Luna called out, "I suggest a star pattern with the Inner Senshi forming a ring about the center!"

"Good call that," said the white cat named Artemis, "I can feel that Oni trying to break out…it's a seriously bad news kind of vibes I'm getting here…could be we've got less than a minute left before it puts in an appearance."

"Prince Endymion," Lotion said gravely, "You must also stand at the point of the star and lend your power to the spell that I shall craft. Everyone be ready…it is about to happen…now."

"Everybody use your Henshin Pins!" Minako called out as she followed her own advice and transformed into her Senshi incarnation.

Lotion struck the ground with the butt end of her staff and caused a pattern to form beneath them that was like a glowing series of triangles within a rune-laden ring with each of the senshi standing at one of the points…and only instants after these wards were in place the area at the center of the pattern began to glow as the koi pond gave way to a gateway from a pocket dimension.

And from this gap reared up a huge naked form of a nine-foot-tall Oni…ruddy skinned with wild green hair and bat wings, its form incredibly muscular but unmistakably feminine. It cackled in a nasty voice, "YOU FOOLS…YOU THINK YOU CAN STOP ME? I LIVE AGAIN TO DESTROY AND TO TERRORIZE!!! YOU SHALL NOT CONTAIN ME WITH YOUR PUNY LIGHTS!!!"

"Uh oh…" Ukyo took a step backward and reached for her spatula, even though she was well beyond the wards with the two talking cats, whose own fur was standing out on end.

"Look at the size of those…" Mamoru swallowed, realizing that he dared not complete his own sentence while within earshot of his two girlfriends.

He was fortunately that Usagi and Rei were a little too distracted at the sight of the naked Oni, and of all the senshi it was Ami alone who had the presence of mind to say, "I have bad feeling about this…"

Her sister senshi were shortly to agree, for the battle royale was about to begin to decide the fate of the united clans of Tendo and Saotome…

Nabiki's Journal Continues:

Well, wonder of wonders, the BIG DAY had come at last! The day of my marriage to Ranma-kun and Sham-chan, the culmination of many event-filled months of whirlwind courtship and debate, the day when we would make official that which we had unofficially been indulging in for the latter part of those months, and now I stood in the bedroom of my Aunt Nodoka with my sisters, Kodachi and the Amazons, Silk and Comb, trying out my wedding dress and wondering who the heck that was staring back at me from the other side of a mirror.

To put it mildly I was an emotional wreck just waiting for the other shoe to drop, convinced that SOMETHING was going to go wrong to break up the festivities, and even more scared that NOTHING would intervene to prevent me from walking down that aisle and saying "I do" to Ranma.

It was my day to be a BRIDE, supposedly the most important day in a young girl's life and the day that most young girls my age fervently dream about, as if they had no other career plans. In truth I'd had little more than a month to prepare myself and I was in no way near to being prepared, even as the intellectual part of myself wondered what the fuss was all about. After all, I was pretty well set and determined to make Ranma my husband and accept Shampoo into our lives on a more-or-less semi-official basis. There is the issue of our future children to be determined here, and with Shampoo getting a head start over the rest of us in that department, it was important to insure the question of her child's legitimacy as Ranma's firstborn daughter, and by that argument the heir to the Anything Goes tradition.

Oh, did I say his daughter? Yes, we had that pretty much confirmed, even though the baby is too young for standard methods of testing. Lotion seconded what my own instincts have told me, and we have the Amazon mage, Siren, who conducted her own tests and assures us that Shampoo's baby will be born healthy…this in spite of Cologne cautioning us about the dangers of a Jusenkyo curse possibly causing a miscarriage. I have to admit that I've been more than a bit worried about that one myself, the possibility that Sham-chan's Neko body might be too small for a human embryo to survive within. There's the possible issue of tissue rejection if her changeling body doesn't accept the baby while in her cursed form, but Siren reassured us that this will not be a problem.

And just how does she mean that? I'm not too sure if I even want to know the answer, but somehow I believe her.

Anyway, there I was being fitted for a dress with only a few hours to go before the wedding ceremony, and with so many helpful aunts on hand to make sure the job was done right we got it ready in an amazingly short span of time. Even I had to take a second and even a third look at myself in the mirror when I was finally ready, because I had virtually been stitched into the thing, and the woman looking back at me was a little too regal-looking for me to see myself in her position. All questions of modesty aside, I had to admit that I looked pretty damned good and would probably impress the heck our of Ranma when he saw me.

Shampoo, of course, looked absolutely breathtaking in the gown they fit her up with, and technically I should have felt a pang of jealousy about that, knowing in advance that she would probably show me up on this, the most special day of both our lives. After this we would both be calling Ranma our husband and meaning it for real, but in all truth I was just as much in awe of Shampoo's beauty as if she were marrying me and not just Ranma…which of course is what we both knew was about to happen.

Officially she's the lead bridesmaid, but we're having another ceremony after the first to make it official under Amazon law, and I have to say that I was pretty curious to know what her people consider an official ceremony. I just know that I felt a genuine sense of pride and pleasure knowing that we would be walking together to meet Ranma at the altar.

I just hoped that the guy in question would have the nerve to meet us there and do his part in the ceremony, but you know how guys can be. Something about the word "commitment" causes their brains to freeze up, or something. Good thing we thought to take special measures to see to it he didn't try and sneak off and get lost like a Hibiki.

It's hard being so sneaky sometimes, but someone has to do it…

"Oh man, what am I doing?" Ranma fretted as he stared at the reflection of himself being cast in the mirror that had been installed in his old bedroom (the one he had not used since he was six years old, and which looked as if it had been preserved in that condition with a purpose), "I'm too young for this…I knew I should have gone on another training mission-I need more preparation!"

"Relax, Boy," Genma retorted, "You're getting all worked up over nothing. You like the girls, you've agreed to marry them, and now it's time to carry through on your commitment like a Saotome."

"I thought your way was to run and hide when things got a little too intense," Hairbrush remarked, "But I agree for once, you look just fine the way you are, Son, and-you can take my word on faith about this-my daughter and Nabiki are going to love you just the way you are, so long as you don't forget to say the words, 'I do.'"

"I do?" Ranma looked on the verge of panic, "You mean I…and then they…and we…"

"Elope on your honeymoon and live happily ever after?" Ryoga shrugged, "Guess that's up to you, more or less."

"You'll do just fine, Son," Soun assured him, "After all, you have fine prospects ahead of you, two women who adore you, and once we rebuild the dojo you'll have a steady source of income again, and when you're man of the house you'll have it easy, sitting back and fathering a new generation for the families of Tendo and Saotome."

"To say nothing of assuming all the responsibilities that come with the job," Hairbrush reflected, "A mortgage, utility costs, picking up the kids and seeing they get to and from school on time, but at least you'll have it easier than I did since you won't have to do all of the cooking…"

"That's it, I've gotta get out of here!" Ranma cried, making a mad dash at the window, only to run smack into Ryoga's fist, which stopped him in his tracks and momentarily halted his momentum.

"Nice shot there, Son," Genma nodded with approval.

"Thanks," Ryoga grinned as he rubbed his knuckles against the palm of the other hand, "I almost couldn't believe it when Nabiki gave me permission to hit him if he even thought about running away."

"It's another Saotome tradition," Genma ignored the amused look Hairbrush turned on him, "I can remember when I was about to get married how Tendo-kun and five other men had to wrestle me down and tie me up just before the ceremony…"

"Oh yes," Soun nodded, "I well remember that…in fact, I'll never forget that shiner you gave Godai just before losing consciousness. You were quite the spry one in those days, Saotome."

"Yes I was…and a bit lighter on my feet at that," Genma glanced down at himself a bit sadly, then brightened up and clapped Ryoga on the shoulder, "Never fear, Boy…your time will come, and when you walk down the aisle with some lovely young thing waiting you at the altar you'll understand what true terror is, and on that day you'll achieve true manhood."

"Uh…I guess," Ryoga winced slightly.

"Remind me to return the favor when that happens," Ranma groaned as he slowly pushed himself up off the floor and felt his jaw to see that it was still in place, "Ow."

"It will hurt a lot less in time, Son," Hairbrush assured him, "And soon you'll even be thanking your brother for knocking some sense back into you. Believe me, you don't want to know what it's like to get hunted down by an Amazon war party sent to recapture an errant husband."

"I'll keep that in mind, Sir," Ranma said as he regained his footing then studied his reflection again in order to straighten out his rented tux, "Man…I should have known Nabiki would cover all the exits, but I guess you're right…I agreed to do this, so I'm gonna have to go out there and meet her like I promised. I'll say all the things they want me to say and…and get married like I'm supposed to…I just want you guys to do one thing for me first."

"What's that, Son?" Soun asked.

"Talk me out of it!" Ranma whimpered, right before he felt his father lay a reassuring hand on his shoulder, then gently-but-firmly give him a shove towards the doorway.

"Out you go, Boy," Genma urged, "Time for you to finally go out there and get yourself married."

"Don't shove me, I'm going!" Ranma complained, though he was finding it hard not to drag his feet as his nervousness increased by the moment. He kept telling himself that this was what he wanted to do, that it was a matter of both honor and personal desire that he seal the pact between himself and Nabiki…and to take Shampoo on fully as his wife. It was the manly thing to do, it would please his mother and all of his friends, and it would bring an end to such craziness as people kidnapping his fiancées and trying to marry someone else. A new life would begin for them all the moment he pledged his vows of marriage to both women, it was a moment they both had longed for over the many months of their being together for the better part of a year of eventful happenings and an ever increasing dependence on one another.

He just wished the butterflies holding a Kickboxing tournament in his stomach would break for lunch or call a time out, or something, because the idea of going ahead with this frightened him far worse than facing down any devil or demon. He just hoped Ukyo would be there for her role as Best Man (er…whatever) because he would need a little hand holding to get through this, and-ready or not-it was time at long last to get married.

That he didn't faint dead away just thinking the word in his head was a tribute to his character, though in all likelihood he would pass out somewhere during the ritual itself, or so he told himself as he went down the stairs of his mother's house and went out into the converted yard that would host the ceremony since the dojo was presently in a state of shambles.

He was surprised upon seeing how everything had been arranged on such short notice. Atsuko and her father were busy setting up the decorations with the help of the two Amazons, Julian and Romeo, with Ryomi, Aki and Kennou pitching in to eagerly assist their Hibiki elders. There were ribbons and decorations everywhere, and a many-layered cake that looked like a small cathedral with three tiny figures standing atop the apex, perfectly styled to resemble himself, Shampoo and Nabiki. Everywhere he looked there were chairs and decorations that looked to him as though they had collectively cost a small fortune, which made him wonder how his mother was paying the caterers for all this. A few guests had already arrived and more looked to be on the way, all of which cumulatively spelled out to Ranma the seriousness of the occasion, which again assured that this was not a dream, that he really was about to get married.

Suddenly running in terror for his life didn't seem like such a bad option, but since chickening out at this late state was out of the question he just squared his shoulders and tried to adopt a nonchalant pose that actually fooled no one for all the profuse sweating that he was doing.

"Does this go here?" Razor asked Atsuko as he paused in the act of tacking up one streamer.

"Hmmm…a little closer to the other one, I think, Dad," Atsuko replied from the ladder upon which she was presently perched, securing a ribbon shaped like a bow-tie over one of the erected posts, "I think they're supposed to be evenly spaced apart…right Grandma?"

"Now dear," Ganglot replied as she placed hand to chin and assumed a reflective, contemplative attitude, "As much as I value symmetry, there is a lot to be said for letting one's inner creative part go, and I fancy a bit of irregularity to break up the otherwise uniform pattern. After all, try to be too perfect on a day like this and you might make the gods themselves feel jealous at your hubris."

"I resemble that remark," a voice from directly behind the Oni responded, "And don't tell me you're the one who's catering this party?"

"Urd!" Ganglot cried with obvious delight as she spun around to greet the dusky-skinned, silver haired goddess, "How wonderful, you made it, Cousin…and Belldandy…it's been ages!"

"Ganglot," said a sweet-voiced, sandy-haired beauty standing beside a slight youth, who himself bore a somewhat nervous expression, "How nice to see you again after all this time, and how thoughtful of you to send us those invitations."

"Um…excuse me for asking," said the boy beside her, "But…isn't she…ah…kind of working for the rival Relief Agency or something?"

"Oh, those clowns?" Ganglot scoffed, "I haven't worked with them in centuries. I'm an independent contractor, my dear boy…and you must be Bell-chan's dashing fiancé, of whom I have heard so much about."

"Ganglot," Belldandy nodded, "This is Keiichi, my intended…Keiichi-san, this is Urd's cousin Ganglot, from her mother's side of the family…"

"Swell," Keiichi said dubiously, knowing full well what that implied after having directly encountered Urd's demon mother.

"I can't believe you're here in Japan after all this time," Skuld complained, "I thought you were trapped in a pyramid or something."

"Old news, Skuld-chan," Ganglot waved the point aside, then glanced beyond her, "And who is this lovely thing beside you? Have you taken on an assistant?"

"Ah…that's my younger sister, Megumi," Keiichi spoke while the girl in question just smiled, even as Skuld colored and glanced away for some obscure reason.

"Charmed," Megumi herself replied, taking in the tattooed face of the Oni and reckoning it was some sort of family tradition.

"My words exactly," Ganglot mused, "You are quite the charming little thing, aren't you? I can see the resemblance between you and your Oneechan. And-what's this? Do I spy another member of your party?"

"Just don't push it, will you?" Peorth scowled at the Oni Princess, "Is Nabiki around? I…want to see her…before the ceremony, that is."

"Upstairs in Nodoka's room," Ganglot replied, "But do stay for the ceremony…after all, it's your daughter who is about to get married."

"One of them anyway," Peorth replied, and headed off towards the house, ignoring the questioning looks that she received from her companions.

"Her daughter?" Urd asked incredulously.

"Oh my," Belldandy said, "And I didn't even hear that she got married."

"Poor guy, whoever he is," Skuld sympathized.

"Not married," Ganglot corrected, "But she definitely did know the father."

Peorth colored slightly but turned away and advanced on the house rather than answer.

"Whoah," Keiichi remarked as soon as the goddess was out of earshot, "Is that why she hasn't been after me as much lately? There's another guy in her life who's more important?"

"For once I'm with Skuld," Urd remarked, "Poor guy, whoever he is."

Ranma did not even make a pretense of understanding what that was all about but instead turned to another group that was just then arriving, his cousin, Usagi, flanked by her fiancé and circle of friends, which at the moment included a somewhat tired looking Ukyo. As a matter of fact the whole group looked exhausted, as though they had just gone through the proverbial wringer.

"Hey, Ucchan," Ryoga called out, "Glad you could make it."

In spite of having the towering Makoto leaning against her shoulder, Ukyo brightened up when she saw him and said, "Hey, Ranchan…looking spiffy! Is that really you in that get up?"

"Must be," Ranma nodded, "Um…what gives with Usagi-chan and the others? You guys have a hard time getting here or something?"

"If only it was that simple," the blonde Minako perked up as she grinned, "Ryoga-kun…you look good enough to eat! Which reminds me…which way to the refreshments?"

"Huh," Ryoga responded, surprised at the sudden change of topic.

"It's over there, next to that cake," Ami brightened up considerably, "And is that a punch bowl I see? I hope it doesn't contain alcohol…"

"Are you kidding?" Haruka groaned, "If it doesn't, then there's going to be trouble."

"Why don't we ask the Saotomes if they have a bottle of sake tucked away?" Michiru suggested.

"Good idea," Haruka said, and with her green-haired lady-friend in tow the two of them wandered off in search of libation.

"Um," Ranma blinked, "You guys run into any problems on the way here?"

"Oh, nothing too much," Ukyo smiled back weakly, "We just had a little workout before coming here, that's all."

"And you wouldn't believe our dance partner," Makoto smiled even more weakly, "I think I need to sit down. Can you get by without me for a few minutes, Senpai?"

"I'll try," Ukyo smiled back as Makoto staggered off to the refreshment stand.

"Hi, Cousin," Usagi gave Ranma the sort of zombified smile that seemed to typify the general consensus among her senshi, "Can't talk right now, I've gotta eat."

"Let me at that concession stand," Rei pleaded, "For once I'm gonna pig out like you, Usagi."

"Hah, that'll be the day," Usagi flashed an affectionate grin to the priestess, then the both of them headed off to the table together with Mamoru trailing along behind them, looking tired himself but also giving the impression that he wanted to keep the both of them well within his sight.

Ranma blinked as he watched the other senshi begin to mingle with the rest of the guests, then he heard Ryoga remark, "That must have been some work-out."

"Enough that they'll probably be soaking their bodies in the Jacuzzi when this is all over," Ukyo sniffed, then took on a speculative expression, "Which means Mako-chan will be needing a backrub, and with a back as large as hers to work with…" she actually seemed to be savoring the prospect.

"Ah yes," Ganglot suddenly spoke up, having somehow worked her way over to their sides without anyone being the wiser, "I believe your recent dance partner was an old colleague of mine by the name of Kaarnak…a particularly unpleasant member of the Oni race, voted most likely in our Class of having herself be trapped under a rock for about a century or so. Your friends did quite well if they managed to contain her, but then again, you had Lotion's assistance, and that certainly counts for something."

"Where did you come from?" Ukyo gasped, surprised at seeing the Oni attending such a service.

"Well," Ganglot seemed to seriously consider the question, "On my mother's side there was a bit of High Deva, though for the most part I like to believe that I tend to favor more of our original Star Tribe ancestry, but on my father's side of the family…well…there you're talking about a whole new level of Hell Lord…"

"Bragging about your ancestry again?" Urd asked as she, too, appeared among their midst unnoticed, "Come on…let's mingle and you can tell me all about what you've been up to in Nerima. Is it true that old hack, Cybelle, is making a come back?"

"Nipped in the bud for now," Ganglot replied as she allowed herself to be steered away from Ranma group, pausing only to wave back at him and say, "Buck up for the ceremony, Kid! You're doing great so far, and I'm definitely rooting for you!"

"Swell," Ranma said, "Why doesn't that make me feel any better?"

"You ask me, Sugar," Ukyo nodded, "Ryoga's great-grandmother is a few boxes shy of a full load…but in a way I guess she means well…"

"I sure hope so," Ryoga sighed, "I still feel awful about letting myself be fooled like that…I could have banished her back to China and then we'd all be at the mercy of my grandmother."

"Experiences learned, mistakes not to be repeated, Boy," Genma replied, "And you can quote me on that."

"Wanna bet?" Ukyo scowled, but she elected to let the matter drop as Genma headed off to the concessions stand, so she turned and said, "So, Ranchan…how's it feel to be almost married?"

"Scary," Ranma admitted, then bucked up his pride and said, "Not that I'm scared or nothing, it's just…a lot of responsibility to take on, know what I mean?"

"Heh, tell me about it," Ukyo glanced at Ryoga, "Why don't you run along and say hi to Minako-chan? I'm sure she'd love to be spending her time with you, big guy."

"You…really think so?" Ryoga asked, then wandered off towards the concession stand to be affectionately greeted by a half-starving Minako.

"Too bad about him and Akane," Ukyo remarked after a few quiet moments between herself and her best friend, "But he seems to be making a smooth recovery, thanks to Minako-chan. How about you, Ranchan? Are you really feeling up to this? No last minute changes of heart or nothing, right?"

"I…think I'll be okay for now," Ranma sighed, "It's just…when I think about meeting Nabiki and…exchanging vows with her…I feel really excited…and like I wanna run for it at the same time, know what I mean? Heh…thing is, if I even tried that I doubt I'd get ten steps before they nailed me…"

"Who Shampoo, or Nabiki's dad?" Ukyo sniffed.

"Take your pick," Ranma sniffed, "No shortage of people here who want to see us get hitched."

"Hey, it could always be worse, right?" Ukyo responded, "You might have run into a bunch of guys who wanted to stop you at the last second. She could have a bunch of would-be suitors looking to nail her, or you could have a horde of unhappy fiancées that your pop tried to marry you off to in your vagabond days, maybe even me among them."

"You?" Ranma blinked again in surprise.

"Sure," Ukyo leered, "You think I'm blind to what a great catch you are? Maybe I was wrong to give you up, or maybe I just needed more time to think about it. Want to elope and wind up selling okonomiyaki from a yatai cart? I'll cut you in for a partnership and pay you a share of the proceeds."

"Hey, cut that out," Ranma pleaded, "Even as a joke it ain't funny!"

"Oh, you think I'm joking, do you?" Ukyo asked archly.

"Ah…I didn't mean it like that or nothing," Ranma hastily back-pedaled, "I mean…Ucchan, you're great, and I think any guy would count himself real lucky to have a great girl like you for his wife…but…well…between me, Nabiki and Shampoo…"

"Oho," Ukyo arched her eyebrows meaningfully, "Three's company but four's a crowd, eh? Well, what if you had all of us to deal with, and maybe even one or two more girls? Say, didn't Kodachi once have a thing for you? How'd you like to have her for a girlfriend?"

"What, and have Kasumi glare at me for the rest of my life?" Ranma pleaded, finally catching on to the subtext of humor in Ukyo's voice, "Besides, I think your girlfriend would try and kick my ass if she thought I was putting the moves on you, and frankly, that idea is even scarier than being engaged to Kodachi."

"Heh, maybe for you, Mister," Ukyo deliberately bumped hips with her former iinazuke, and the two of them smiled at the joke, settling in a bit to an easier manner about one another. Then Ukyo sobered and said, "Speaking of which, I think she's glaring at me right now. I'd better go reassure her that I'm still head over heals for her and no one else…but…um…is Akane around?" she glanced nervously over her shoulder, "I…don't want there to be any trouble…"

"She's with Nabiki getting her ready," Ranma replied, then smiled as he added, "Want me to tell her you've been looking for her?"

"Don't you dare!" Ukyo warned him, making a threatening move for her baker's peel.

"You two seem to be having a lot of fun together," a new voice cut in on their conversation, and both of them turned to see the blue haired Ryoko standing to one side in a party dress, "But hey, Ranma…you seen you cousin Tenchi anywhere about?"

"I thought he was with you and the others," Ranma nodded to the group that had been sitting together enjoying some tea while waiting for the ceremony to begin.

"He said something about needing to use the bathroom," Ryoko scowled unhappily, "But that was fifteen minutes ago. I offered to help him out, but he sure can be a shy cutie when it comes to bodily function…HEY! Leggo my ear! Ayeka!"

"You come with me right now, Ryoko," said a stern-voiced Princess Ayeka, "I won't have you bothering the groom before the ceremony, and besides…I need your help to find Lord Tenchi."

"Now you're talking, Princess," Ryoko settled down (albeit she started floating a half meter above the ground), "Between the two of us we ought to find Tenchi, no problem."

Ranma and Ukyo watched them leave for several moments before the latter said, "Definitely weird. Must be hard on your cousin having a couple of girlfriends like that."

"Sometimes I guess I don't really know how lucky I got it," Ranma nodded in agreement, "But they seem to get along…most of the time, anyway."

"And when they don't…watch out!" Ukyo duly noted.

"I certainly do agree that you have a rather interesting and unique circle of friends as your close relations and allies," remarked the withered old Lotion, who suddenly spoke up from beside them.

"GAH!" Ranma half-jumped, "What is it with everybody sneaking up on me like that? You don't think I'm edgy enough as it is?"

"Oh, sorry," Lotion replied, "I just thought I'd make a friendly observation. Ready now to begin the festivities, my dear boy?"

"I guess," Ranma replied, then grimaced a little before adding, "A bit."

"And you, Kuonji-san," the aged Lore Master nodded, "You did remember to bring the ring with you, did you not?"

"The ring?" Ukyo blinked, then she began to pat herself down, only to gain a look of real panic, "THE RING! I don't believe it! I hope I didn't lose it in that fight…"

"Calm yourself," Lotion held up a hand and presented the object in question, "I only mentioned it so that you would not forget at the appropriate time. Here…make sure you hold onto it until it is needed."

"Oh sure, no problem," Ukyo said as she accepted the offering and secured it in her tuxedo vest pocket.

"Just be as sure when it is your turn to play best man at her wedding, young Master," Lotion noted slyly to Ranma.

"HUH?" both teenagers reacted, Ranma gasping, "Best man…?" and Ukyo finishing the statement with her own arched, "…at MY wedding?"

"To Kino-san, of course," Lotion replied, "And just for the record, I'm hoping it will be a boy on the first try, definitely a girl on the second."

"Hah?" Ukyo had the sort of expression on her face that literally was made for the statement, "Could be blown over by a feather."

The next second she was nearly knocked to the ground by a heavy hand that slapped her between the shoulder blades (while missing the part protected by the handle of her spatula) as a boisterous voice said, "Finally made it on time, I see. Ready to be Best Woman at your boyfriend's wedding?"

"Aunt Yumi?" Ukyo staggered before whirling around and setting eyes upon her elder, whom she almost did not recognize since Yumi Kuonji was wearing a dress, sans baker's peel.

"Just got here in time to see this lad marry someone besides you," Yumi grinned at Ranma, "More fool him. Sure you won't want to take my niece up on her offer? I think you're making a mistake not to include her in your harem."

"Harem?" Ranma blinked, feeling more than a little dizzy from all the attention that he was receiving.

"Well, your loss," Yumi shrugged, turning back to Ukyo, "By the way, I dragged your father out of his death bed so he could be here to watch you help give away your groom to another."

"Dad is here?" Ukyo blinked with an incredulous expression.

"He's sulking a bit about your deciding to go another way and bollix up all of his plans," Yumi winked, "But secretly I think he's proud of the way you've been helping take over the business, even if you did kind of mysteriously take off for a week without a word to him of explanation."

"Ah…about that…" Ukyo winced.

"Save it," Yumi waved the point aside, "I've brought him up to speed on all the particulars, or at least the ones that he's entitled to know about. Come over and pay your respects to him, I'm sure he'd appreciate it."

"I'd love to," Ukyo said, "But the wedding could start any minute, and I'm the ring bearer…"

"Ah," Lotion spoke up as she turned their attention back towards the altar, "And speaking of which now, the officiating priest is here. I suggest you make yourselves ready while the guests are called to attention."

"Right," Ranma swallowed a thick lump down his throat, only to see his father and Soun gesturing towards him, letting him know in advance that everything was in readiness and that if he tried to make a run for it at this point that he would have a riot chasing after him in a second. Not so much gathering his courage as slinking with tail between legs, he headed towards the altar, almost hoping for a crisis that might give him a chance to delay the ceremony for a few more house.

Not that he expected he could ever be so lucky…

"Hello?" a voice asked timidly as she knocked lightly on the door to the room presently being used by the bridal procession, "Ma Cheri? Is it all right to come in there?"

The door opened and a face peeked out from the crack, the very mirror of the one worn by the woman asking for admittance as the Amazon named Silk remarked, "You? Oh my…"

"Oh my yourself," Peorth said reluctantly, "Is it all right for me to see my daughter before she's married?"

"That depends on what you mean by 'your' daughter," Silk responded, but nonetheless she turned her head and said, "Akane-chan, can I trouble you to go downstairs and inform them that the bride is ready to make her appearance?"

"Sure thing, Auntie," Akane said as she walked past the door, which Silk obligingly opened. Peorth was quick to do a vanishing act, disappearing as Akane walked right past her without looking, only to reappear once more once the young Tendo girl was halfway down the stairway.

"Akane-chan," she murmured softly, feeling contrite until the door to the room fully opened to admit her.

"Who were you talking to…?" Comb started to say when her mouth hung open.

"I don't believe it," Kodachi blinked, looking from Peorth to Silk and back again, "They could almost be twins…"

"Oh my," Kasumi murmured, wondering if fainting would be a good strategic move at this point.

"Aiyaa…" Shampoo seconded the motion.

"I believe it…sort of," Nabiki herself remarked, "What are you doing here, Mother, other than the obvious answer to that question?"

Peorth winced at the tone Nabiki used but nonetheless firmed up her resolve and said, "I wanted to be here, of course…I was invited."

"Invited," Nabiki had a faintly distracted heir for a moment then said, "Well…I won't say that I'm sorry to see you here, but…you do know manifesting like this in front of my father and sisters could lead to…complications."

"I know, Cheri," Peorth replied, "But I wouldn't miss this for the world, my little girl growing up and getting married. That's one step I never had the courage to take, for all my very long life, but…I must say, Nabiki-chan…you do look good in bridal white."

"Thanks," Nabiki smiled back, "We were going to originally do this as a Shinto ceremony, but that would have cost a lot more, and those rituals they recite can be so endless!"

"Tell me about it," Peorth rolled her eyes, "Why do mortals always have to complicate a simple thing like a ritual of marriage? It makes me envious of those other cultures where the groom kidnaps the bride and carries her off to an elopement. Ah…the good old days…young people now have no respect for traditional values…"

"Well, you can stay for the wedding," Nabiki nodded, "Just as long as you behave and don't try to pull any more funny stuff like trying to hitch Akane up with Kuonji. One thing, though…the honeymoon is off-limits to trespassers, and I mean to enforce this."

"As if I would pry into the privacy of one of my daughters," Peorth said with a look of angelic innocence that Nabiki did not quite find so convincing, "Anyway, it's about time you settled down and raised a family. Mortals like you should cherish every moment that you have when it comes to starting a family…far too many never get started until it is almost too late, and then there are regrets, Cheri, such as you could not imagine."

"I'll try and keep that in mind," Nabiki noted when she turned her head and said, "Uh oh…more late arrivals?"

One moment later Siren and Cologne appeared with hardly a "POOF" to signify their entrance, the blonde haired Enchantress saying, "Ta-da! We're here at last, so you can start the party! You see, Comb darling? I told you I'd get us here in a stylish, timely manner."

"So you did," Cologne said grudgingly, only to take in the presence of the Goddess, "I see we are not the only ones fashionably late. Are you here to give the happy couple your divine blessings?"

"Something like that," Peorth replied, "Actually, I meant to give Nabiki-chan here a late wedding present…"

"Excuse me," yet another voice intruded, and heads turned to see the upper body of the blue haired Ryoko popping up from one of the walls as the Space Pirate herself asked, "Have any of you ladies seen Tenchi anywhere about? He's kind of gone missing, the silly boy…"

"Oh," Kasumi responded, "Ranma's cousin hasn't been upstairs to the best of my knowledge. I'm sure he would be downstairs looking for directions…he's a very sweet boy, and he has such excellent manners…"

"Yeah, but I love him anyway," Ryoko smirked, "Well…thanks for your help, sorry to bother you, carry on and all that…"

With that the blue haired Space pirate faded back through the wall, leaving everyone else in the chamber to stare at where she had been, including Siren, Cologne and Peorth in equal measure.

"Oh my," Kodachi broke the silence to remark, "We do have some rather colorful guests here to see the wedding, don't we?"

"Aiyaa," Shampoo nodded, glancing at her mother before saying, "And Shampoo think back in village we have very strange peoples."

"I guess travel really does broaden the mind," Comb shrugged, turning back to Peorth and saying, "Now…what was that again about bringing Nabiki here a present…?"

"That's very odd," Ayeka frowned, "You are certain he is not in the bath room?"

"Positive," Ryoko replied, sliding easily through the ceiling as though she were the proverbial ghost, "I checked all the rooms and nobody has seen him. Maybe he went back outside and we missed him?"

"That does not seem to likely," Ayeka frowned, only to brighten again, "Wait a minute…I know how to find our errant future husband. Washu made this for me," she said as she fished a small object from the folds of one sleeve.

"What is it?" Ryoko floated closer to get a closer inspection.

"It's a location finder keyed to the buttons on Lord Tenchi's lapel," Ayeka smiled, "I made certain to affix a tracer to him just before coming here for just such emergencies as this."

"Why you sneaky little devil," Ryoko grinned, "No wonder I like you."

"Flattery will get you somewhere," Ayeka said coyly, only to blink her eyes as she stared at the device, "Oh dear…it says Lord Tenchi is close nearby."

"How close?" Ryoko leaned even closer.

"Around four or five meters…this way," Ayeka turned a questioning look, then moved over and found the object was pointing at a closet. She opened the door and gasped, "Oh my!"

"MMMMMPPPHH!!!" Tenchi grunted from where he sat trussed up on the floor with a gag in his mouth, bound hand and foot like a present.

"Ayeka," Ryoko frowned, "Didn't you promise that you weren't gonna do that to him until after the wedding?"

"But I didn't!" Ayeka protested, "And how am I to know that you didn't do this to him yourself?"

"Because you tie the knots tighter than I do," Ryoko reasonably pointed out.

"Hmmm…good point," Ayeka conceded, "I thought you said you checked every place in the house."

"Everyplace upstairs and around the bathroom," Ryoko shrugged, "Who knew I should be looking for Tenchi in the closet?"

"MMMMMPPH!" Tenchi grunted in more annoyance.

"Now just hold still and let me take care of this for you, Lord Tenchi," Ayeka said as she bent down and began to skillfully undo the knots, "Hmmm…whoever did this was a professional…such expert work of meshing the cross grooves…"

"Stop analyzing and get him out of those things," Ryoko impatiently elbowed her way in closer and simply broke the ropes with her bare hands, then pulled the gag out of the mouth of their boyfriend, "There…all better?"

"Hmph, any barbarian could have done that," Ayeka sniffed.

"He came at me out of no where…or I mean…I think it was a he…or a she…I don't really know, I'm so confused!" Tenchi babbled out once he was able.

"Huh?" Ayeka blinked.

"Slow down, Tenchi," Ryoko urged, "We can't understand what you're babbling."

"I said that whoever it was who tied me up like this came at me from out of nowhere!" Tenchi tried to coax his word out a bit more slowly, "He-or she-said she needed to take my place…she was going to plant a bomb in the cake and needed me out of the way, and she even apologized about the inconvenience…"

"What?" Ayeka reacted, "A bomb?"

"Inside the wedding cake?" Ryoko snorted, "How formulaic…"

"RYOKO!" Tenchi blurted.

"All right, I'll take care of it!" Ryoko made placating gestures with both hands, "Ayeka, stay here and help Tenchi get back on his feet. This'll only take a minute."

"Hurry, Ryoko…and do be careful!" Ayeka pleaded.

"Don't worry," Ryoko said as she teleported away, adding to herself once she was back outside, "No sneaky thief gets away with blowing up a cake before I eat it…hmmm…now…how did she manage this, whoever she is? Hmmm…" and with that Ryoko stuck her face into the cake, then her hands reached down and through the table, and suddenly she appeared once more holding a device in both hands that was obviously home made.

"Uh oh," she saw that the timer was nearly at the zero point and hastily teleported away, gaining several thousand feet of altitude before letting the device go, then teleporting back again to ground level.

"There," she said as she dusted her hands off, "That's taken care of, and I didn't even knick the frosting."

"You took care of it?" Ayeka asked as she helped Tenchi to gingerly step outside of the house with hardly any eyes turned in their direction, their mutual fiancé working hard to regain his circulation.

"I just know I'm going to regret this," Tenchi winced, "But…how did you take care of it, Ryoko?"

"Oh, not to worry about such trifling things, Tenchi," Ryoko smiled, "Besides, it should be going off at any second…"

Konatsu felt bad about having to be a party pooper, but orders were orders, and he was under instruction to punish the ones who had destroyed his family's tea shop, and what more poetic way to do the deed than to plant a bomb at the very wedding for which they had been celebrating with that impromptu Stag Party? It had been simplicity itself to jump one of the guests, then to briefly impersonate him long enough to get close to the table, where he then planted the device, just as his stepmother had told him. Now all that remained was to wait for the explosion and then report back to his stepmother and stepsisters that he had performed his task like a proper Kunoichi (well…a Kunoichi in name only since he was, at least technically, a man for all his bishonen appearance).

Objectively Konatsu did not believe that this Ranma or his friends had intended to cause trouble for their tea shop, but the fact remained that they were the ones who had destroyed his home and forced him to live like a vagabond sleeping in and out of trash cans. Most likely it had been a misunderstanding, and he knew how his stepsiblings and stepmother loved to exaggerate on the details. If Konatsu was not a loyal ninja in the service of his clan he would have balked at doing something so treacherous, but the life of a ninja was never a very happy one, let alone simple or uncomplicated. He had done exactly what he had been instructed to do, now all that he had to do was wait for the explosion and his honor would be satisfied.

Of course as he settled down to conceal himself beside a trash receptacle, he was only mildly surprised when he heard it complain, "What, you again? Go find your own hiding place, Loser!"

"Eh?" Konatsu straightened up and blurted, "You?"

"That's right, Me!" cried an indignant Tsubasa as he (also problematic since his usual mode of disguise included dresses), "Who else do you think this trash can belongs to? Besides, I have this space reserved so I can watch out for my darling Ucchan."

"What do you mean reserved?" Konatsu asked, "I don't see any sign informing people that you own this area."

"Who needs a sign?" Tsubasa sniffed, "This is where I always hide this time of day when I want to keep an eye out for my Ucchan."

"Well, how was I to know that?" Konatsu asked reasonably, "I've only been spying on the Tendos for a few days, and this is the first time I've come to the home of the Saotomes…"

"Well, next time ask first!" Tsubasa retorted, "I can't have ninjas sneaking about chasing after my Ucchan…"

"I'm not after her, I'm after the ones who destroyed my family's tea shop," Konatsu countered.

"If it's that Saotome creep you're after, go ahead," Tsubasa sniffed, "But stay away from my Ucchan."

"Why would I be interested in a girl who looks more like a man than me?" Konatsu asked, only to jump in surprise as she whirled about, "Stepmother?"

Tsubasa was surprised to shift his focus towards three figures who suddenly appeared from seeming nowhere, three of the UGLIEST women he had ever had the misfortune of setting eyes upon, so much so that he immediately dove back into hiding inside his trash can.

"Konatsu," the shorter and older of the trio demanded, "What is the meaning of this? Why are you slinking around here more than two blocks away from the house of your target instead of going in there and ferreting out information?"

"Stepmother," Konatsu fell to his knees, bowed his head and assumed a very obsequious manner, "I was only doing what you instructed, planting the bomb in the home of our enemies, and the reason I am here is because it is much safer than being a lot closer to the blast radius. That was a particularly powerful explosive that you gave me if it was brewed up by my sisters…"

"Oh, so you've already installed the bomb and set the timer, eh?" the old hag nodded in satisfaction, "Well, that's different…"

"Um…Mother?" the thinner of her two daughters responded, "Do you hear something falling?"

"Falling?" the fat one of the trio of female Ninjas started to look up when an object fell in front of her eyes and she automatically caught it, saw what it was and had time enough to voice a dumbfounded, "OH-!"

The explosion kicked up Tsubasa's trash can and sent it flying into the air even as Konatsu was sent tumbling like a leaf blown in the wind, to strike a wall several blocks away and immediately lose consciousness, which was a mercy compared to what befell her step-kin, who were hardly that lucky…

A lone figure perched atop the Saotome residence paused in the middle of playing her musical instrument, a slight frown creasing her otherwise beautiful features. The explosion that had ruined her otherwise perfect ballad in tribute to the fortunate married couple was a very bad omen in her opinion, though from what she could see from her purchase made Mon Mon shrug her slender shoulders and desire that no one innocent had been harmed in the explosion.

Down below the reaction was a bit less sanguine.

"…What the heck was that?" Ranma asked, glancing off in the distance and seeing a rising cloud of smoke from several blocks away.

"Sounded like a gas main ruptured, or something like that," Ukyo frowned, "I sure hope nobody was badly hurt."

"There's little we can do about it right now, Son," Soun declared, "And I won't stand for anything distracting you from marrying my little Nabiki."

"Don't worry, Sir," Ranma declared, "Wild horses couldn't budge me."

"That's because you've locked your knees together," Ryoga pointed out, "Better loosen them up before you lose consciousness."

"Here now," Genma glanced back towards the house, "I believe the women are about to emerge."

"You're right, Saotome," Soun beamed proudly, "It's finally about to happen."

"And on time at that," the officiating priest remarked with a smile, "There truly are such things as divine wonders."

Everyone in attendance for this wedding would certainly agree, but none more so than Ranma himself, who stood with open mouth staring in wonder at the sight of white-robed women marching out in procession, one pair of figures in the middle being the focus of his attention…the flash of purple hair on one side, short-cropped auburn hair on the other, both veiled to add mystery as they advanced upon his position.

"Oh my," said Naomi as she saw what looked like a younger version of herself appearing in white, which stirred memories of bittersweet joy and longing.

"Oooh…pretty," Rachael cooed with childish wonder.

"Not too bad," said Aki.

"I guess," remarked Kennou, pretending to an indifference that she did not actually feel at the moment.

"How beautiful my sister looks," Kachu remarked to her husband, "These Western customs may be strange, but I think I understand why they are so greatly favored."

"The only one who looked better walking down the aisle was you, Kachu-chan," Tofu complimented, and received a light squeeze of his hand in affectionate reply.

"Well now," mused Akira Kuonji to his sister, "I'm glad after all that you dragged me out here to see this, Yumi-chan."

"I told you it would be better not to hold any grudges about how things turned out, you big softie," Yumi smiled at her wheelchair-bound older brother.

"Man, this rocks!" said a dark haired man whose name was Ryu, "I'm glad you invited us to come along for the ride, Kento old buddy."

"Hey, didn't I tell you guys that these two made a really cute couple?" Kento smirked.

"That you did," mused Sage beside him, sharing a nod with their other friends, Rowan and Sai, "Of course we know another couple who might look just as good if they wind up strolling down the aisle, right guys?"

"Huh?" asked a somewhat surprised young woman named Mia, who then automatically exchanged puzzled looks with Ryu, only to have both of them blush a deep crimson and glance in opposite directions.

From where he sat Terry Bogart was smiling, glad that he had been invited to attend since he knew the bride and groom quite well and considered them a good match, one who were destined for better things…and was it his imagination or did he seem to feel a light caress of a ghostly hand upon his shoulder…?

"Oh Mamu-chan," Usagi gushed happily, "Just think…one day soon that will be us going down the aisle together.

"You mean us don't you?" Rei asked a bit archly, only to have Usagi squeeze her hand in reassurance.

"Why me?" Mamoru asked, rolling his eyes towards the heavens.

"Skrewp!" cried a hungry figure in a cage, one who looked suspiciously a lot like a miniature Pterodactyl.

Nabiki continued to advance upon Ranma's position while he stood his ground and stared at both her and Shampoo, mesmerized by the pair of them, but especially Nabiki. His iinazuke was smiling at him from beneath her veil, but he could see enough of the details of her face to know that she was crying. He would have be jolted at that were it not plain enough even to him that her tears were tears of joy and happiness, which almost made him want to cry, for all that he fought the impulse and tried to maintain a stoical expression of manly virtue.

His mother and the rest of the older women, plus her sisters (including Akane, who had belatedly joined the bridal procession) were all a blur in his eyes as he stared at the woman to whom he was about to be pledged in matrimony, a woman who now meant more to him than life itself, a statement that once might have seemed corny to him but which he now fervently believed and had demonstrated to be true beyond question. Shampoo was smiling at both of them and seemed all the more radiant in his eyes for the new life that he knew she carried, but it was Nabiki's hour as they both well knew, and neither of them would have it otherwise. Suddenly all his doubts were banished utterly and Ranma stood a bit taller, smiling as Nabiki at last reached his side and turned to him, taking his hand in her own while her other hand held the bouquet of appropriately selected flowers.

The priest began to recite his lines as the music fell silent, but the words were a blur in his mind as his attention remained squarely focused upon Nabiki. Then at last the priest came to that precipitous point in their vows where he was obliged to ask, "…And do any here have any reason why these two should not be joined together?"

Ranma held his breath and tensed in the ensuing silence, vowing silently to himself that he would kill the first person who uttered a word of assent, but then his worst fears were realized and a voice called out from the back rows, "I KNOW WHY THEY SHOULD NOT BE MARRIED!"

That brought about instant muttering and a murmur of confusion among the wedding guests, which had to be lowered by several urgent attempts on the part of the priest, who then turned to the handsome blond man who had just appeared at the rear of the procession.

"Who are you who objects to this union?" the priest asked of this stranger.

"Picollet Picardin, Monsieur," the blond man replied with a sweeping bow, "At your service…!"

Continued

Comments/Criticisms/Culinary Duels of Honor: Shadowmane@msn.com