Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ Downhill Ranma ( Chapter 22 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

"Way to go, Sis," I said sourly as I contemplated my now-female iinazuke before giving Akane a very cross expression.

"I know I…kind of overreacted…" Akane said somewhat defensively.

"Overreacted?" Ranma sputtered, "Look at me! I'm stuck as a girl again! And Doctor Tofu says the Grandfather spot works only ONCE! How am I supposed to go to school the day after tomorrow looking like this? All because of your stupid temper…"

"It's your fault!" Akane snapped, "You were picking on poor Ryoga…"

"He attacked me for no reason!" Ranma snarled, "When are you gonna get it into your stupid head that I don't pick fights with people who don't do something to deserve it! Ryoga thought he was good enough to take me, so he started things like usual, and I was just having some fun with the poor baka."

"That's enough, Ranma," I said, "You're made your point. Now I trust Akane will apologize and promise next time to hear you out before attacking?"

"Apologize?" Akane said indignantly, "To him?"

"Her," I corrected, "Thanks to you my iinazuke isn't quite himself at the moment."

"Akane-chan," Kasumi spoke up, "You really shouldn't get into these fights with Nabiki's future husband. It isn't right, and attacking him won't help your friend, Ryoga."

"Aw, she's just nuts over the baka," Ranma snorted, folding her arms under her now-bulging chest, "Guess maybe I was being a little hard on Ryoga, but he had it coming."

"That's enough, son," Daddy spoke up, "You've each said your piece. Now the question is: how do we get Ranma back to normal?"

"Obviously the answer lies with the old woman," replied Uncle Genma, "Only Cologne doesn't seem like the sort who would be charitable enough to reverse the Cat-Tongue without expecting something in return."

"Or give me the stupid Phoenix pill," Ranma sulked, "Unless I agree to marry Shampoo, and no way am I giving in to her stupid pressure tactics."

"That's the spirit, son, cheer up, something is bound to turn up in your corner," Daddy remarked with his usual cheerful bravado, "What this family needs is a vacation, and tomorrow being a Sunday I thought maybe we could all take a little trip into the mountains."

"A vacation, father?" my big sis asked, but I had one little question.

"How are we going to afford it, Daddy?" I wondered, knowing the family personal finances were not that generous at the moment, even with the earnings I've been accumulating betting on Ranma in his continuos string of fights, not to mention the modest profits we've made since reopening the dojo to a few select students.

"It just so happens that I've been invited by a friend to bring you all along to a chateau that's near to a ski resort that's currently doing fabulous business," Daddy revealed to our considerable surprise and my near-total amazement, "He's arranged transportation and everything, it's all paid for in advance. We can get an early start tomorrow morning and be back in plenty of time for school the next day. So, what do you say to that, Saotome?"

"Sounds like an excellent idea, Tendo-kun," Uncle Genma agreed, "How about it, Boy? You've got a problem with heat, so why not go somewhere that's cold enough not to give you any problems?"

"A ski resort?" Ranma blinked, then thought a moment before adding, "Is that anything like skating…?"

"Interesting," murmured Lotion as she stared into her tea, "What kind of possibilities does this open up, I wonder? Perhaps a trip to the mountains would do an old girl some good, except for my rheumatism."

"How is that again?" asked Cologne as she paused at the table of her fellow Elder, "What about the mountains?"

"Nothing that need concern you, Matriarch," Lotion said a bit curtly, "The Tendo family is simply planning a trip on the morrow to get away from it all, and it involves that quaint Outsider custom of strapping wooden slats to one's feet to better enable one to slide down the face of a perfectly good mountain."

Cologne's eyes narrowed, "I know what skiing is, and I could do without your sarcasm," she mellowed a bit as she thought a moment before smiling, "Did you know that the restaurant chain which this place used to belong has a franchise located very near a popular ski resort? And the lease I picked up on this place includes other properties, of which that is included. And interesting coincidence, no?"

"Indeed?" Lotion replied, "Who would have figured. And how are you progressing with your newly gained apprentice?"

"The boy is as thick as a boulder, which makes him perfect for what I intend," Cologne said craftily, "He also has superb learning skills and picks things up surprisingly well. He is currently burning his fingers trying to master the Amaguriken, having seen its effectiveness displayed upon his person."

"If you can't fight them, then join them," Lotion noted philosophically.

Cologne gave the Lore Master a harder study before remarking, "I've also taken notice that his family name is Hibiki. That stirs more than a few memories from a couple of decades ago. You wouldn't happen to know if there is any relation…"

"Between the boy and the creature who gave your granddaughter some trouble a generation ago?" Lotion finished for her, "I'm afraid that I can neither confirm nor deny this, but the boy is innocent of the sins of his parents. Let it go at that."

"As you say," Cologne shrugged, "And it has no bearing on the present matter in any event, it was simply curiosity on my part. Not as if I'm going to tell Shampoo's mother that her former rival had issues."

"The sins of the fathers and mothers do sometimes visit themselves in strange ways," Lotion said philosophically, then waited until she was alone before murmuring in Chinese, "<That was too easy.>"

In the next room she heard her Matriarch reply, "<I heard that…>"

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

Bless me, Toshiba, for I have sinned, it has been two days since my last confession…

Okay, that's a bit much, but the point is I wasn't able to make a journal entry yesterday due to our little family visit to the ski resort, and what an interesting series of episodes that was! Too bad I don't have one of those little portable laptop jobs that I could carry with me to places like this…the thoughts I could have captured for posterity then…

Well, rather than meander on without purpose, let's just cut to the chase and deal with what happened between me and Ranma.

I was enjoying the outing, skiing with my sisters and Ukyo Kuonji, enjoying the mountain air, as free as a kite. It had been so long since I'd last strapped a pair of skis on my feet, but the old reflexes came back to me like the proverbial bicycle.

What's that you say? Why was I skiing alongside Ukyo and not Ranma? The answer is simple, mister "I'm a guy, and don't forget it!" refused to join us on skis and stayed safely at the lodge while we were having fun. In the meantime Miss "I'm a girl no matter what I look like in drag" offered to keep me company after Ranma had invited his new "little brother" to come with us.

Perhaps I've getting a bit ahead of myself by not mentioning how that happened. Turns out Ukyo came around early that morning to deliver free okonomiyaki samples, although I'm pretty sure it was more of an excuse to try and get to know Ranma better with her boy disguise in place. She found us loading up our father's friend's van with enough equipment to outfit an expedition to one of the poles and naturally asked what was up, which prompted Ranma to explain everything before the doofus remembered that she was still locked in her girl form. She probably should have reacted to the casual way Ukyo accepted her invitation to come join us.

Ukyo did remember to call her Ranko, which I have to give her points on as it showed that she has a certain shrewdness worthy of a young entrepreneur such as herself, and she was pleasant enough company on the way to the mountains, even if Akane kept smiling and coming onto her in a way that made Kuonji look uneasy.

Yeah, after the stunt Akane pulled the day before, I wasn't about to let her in on the gag concerning Ukyo's gender bending, and in all honesty I was pretty amused at seeing her react to this "cute guy" in our midst as though she were no stranger to the same charms that had appealed to me on our first meeting. Ranma even teased them both about it, then mentioned Ryoga, which of course produced a question from Ukyo about who Ryoga was, and before Ranma could answer Akane belted her one and told her to keep quiet. It seems she still blamed Ranma for Ryoga's disappearance after that fight they'd had, and her irritation was no doubt compounded by the fact that she had not seen her little "P-chan" either for about as long as Ryoga.

Daddy and Uncle Saotome were pretty much quiet about Kuonji's presence on the trip, but I think they both know what her silence means, and what could happen if she reveals the full truth to Ranma. My iinazuke was mad enough at his father thinking Ukyo was a guy they'd both abandoned on the road, if he knew Ukyo's true status I think he'd blow a fuse, and by "he" I do mean Ranma in his true gender.

We arrived at the lodge and were greeted by Dad's old friend, Masaki Noboyuki. Turns out both of our fathers knew mister Masaki from way back during their early training mission, and Ranma called him "Uncle Masaki" before I forcibly reminded her that he'd never met them in his female form. It seems that Masaki-san is a professional architect who designed the chalet we were visiting, which is how he was able to wrangle up some hard-to-come-by tickets to the lodge, and it had been a long time since he had spent time with an old pair of drinking buddies.

Since the adults soon got wrapped up in old times, we instead we directed our attention to Masaki-san's cute teenaged son, whom-I took note-already seems to have a couple of girlfriends who opt for weird haircolors almost as usual as Shampoo's. I privately wondered if they were related to the Amazons, but since they tended to hang out with themselves we just briefly socialized before splitting off into our separate groups to tend to private business.

I was amused to see that the Masaki kid, whose name was Tenchi, seemed to have relationship problems between the two main girls that made the very strange arrangement that exists between me and Shampoo look like a love-fest. Ranma knew Tenchi from way back, and it plainly hurt that she couldn't reveal who she was to him, especially with those two wildcats eyeing her like she was some sort of communicable disease that they weren't letting come anywhere near their boyfriend.

I was far more impressed on meeting Tenchi's grandfather, a very distinguished gentleman of great gravity named Katsuhito, who appears to be the source of many of those fantastic legends that Ranma sometimes quotes as history. Katsuhito-sama appeared to be somewhere in his sixties, if not older, but I had a sense of great age and deep wisdom from just being in his presence, almost the same feeling I get whenever I'm around Cologne or Lotion. He feels like some character out of a great romantic ballad set in the Tokugawa era, if not several centuries earlier.

I had the oddest feeling when he was talking with Ranma that he could see right through her female disguise and even treated her like he knew her from before. In any event we wasted little time getting ready for the slopes, changing into our gear which we had brought along with us…all except Ranma who stubbornly refused to wear one of my extra ski outfits that I brought along for her benefit. As for Kuonji, well, she bought hers on the spot with a credit card, a fact I took note of as it implied a line of credit more substantial than my family's yearly budget.

Which brings me back to what happened on the slopes where I found myself enjoying the outing as much as anyone, racing against Akane and Kasumi while Ukyo treated the whole thing like it was a day at the beach, displaying a formidable talent on the slopes that matched the skill she displayed in her fight against Ranma.

Eventually we wound up back where be began at the lodge, and there we found Ranma just lounging around looking bored and staring off at nothing. I was having so much fun that seeing her like that just did not suit me, even though I was reminded of her problem. I decided to leave off my skis and join her for a bit while Akane and Kasumi tracked the antics of our fathers, which would have been fit subject matter for a "Best Comedy Videos" short piece.

Much to my annoyance, Ukyo tagged along, having been briefed by me about Ranma's problems with heat. She was still posing as a guy, of course, but I found it hard to believe that I could ever have been taken in by her role as I was all too aware of just how feminine she looked now that I knew what to look for.

Ranma was not in a particularly cheerful mood, but she did her best to smile for us as we sat down beside him. I tried to share some of my enjoyment on the slopes to encourage Ranma to change her mind about sitting on the sidelines, but when my petition was met with refusal, Ukyo spoke up and said, "That doesn't sound very much like you, Ranchan. I never knew you to back off from a challenge."

"Who's backing off?" Ranma snorted, "I'm just trying to figure out how I'm gonna get the ol' ghoul to restore me back to normal."

"Normal?" Ukyo almost seemed to laugh at that, but only I knew why as Ranma just looked annoyed in her direction, then her tone softened and she said, "Ranchan…what's it like…having this curse, I mean? Nabiki told me how you got it, but the idea of changing genders because of water…"

"Freaks you out?" Ranma asked as she tensed a little.

"As a matter of fact, no," Ukyo said as though surprised at her own reaction, "If anything…I think it's kind of neat, in a weird sort of way. I'm sorry if the question makes you uncomfortable, but I've got to know if turning into a girl…well…gives you any kind of unique perspective…"

"That's one way of putting it," Ranma sniffed, but then she sighed and said, "To be honest it took me a long time just getting used to this body. I mean, not just the fact that it's smaller and lighter and has these bumps on my chest that sometimes get in the way and can be so damned sensitive and all that, I mean the other stuff that a guy can't ever know, shouldn't have to ever know first hand, that I can't even begin to describe because it's too embarrassing and stuff. You got no idea just what kind of a nightmare it is working with the plumbing being internal and not external! You can't even aim without sitting down! And then there's other stuff, people looking at you funny and getting all these weird ideas 'cause they don't know that I'm a guy, even when I tell them!"

"Well, you can't exactly blame them for not catching on, Ranchan," I said, deliberately co-opting the cute nick-name for her that Ukyo was using, "After all, you do look kind of cute this way, and since you won't wear a bra…"

"Nothing doing!" Ranma protested, looking at me with an almost hurt expression, "I'm a guy, Nabiki…you know I'd never do weird stuff like that! I don't care if other guys think I'm cute or not, there's no way I'm lowering myself to putting on woman's underwear! I do that and I can kiss good-bye to my manhood."

"Surely it can't be that serious, Ranchan," Ukyo said, "You'll get your manhood back, I'm sure of it! So you've got a problem convincing the old lady who did this to reverse what she did, you at least know that there's a cure for it, so you've just gotta keep trying."

"Don't worry," Ranma said, "I'll beat that old ghoul if it's the last thing I do! No way am I letting her force me into marrying anybody! She's gonna learn not to mess with me or my name's not Saotome Ranma!"

"Calm down, Ranma," I said, "I believe in you, and I know you'll find a way, especially with me to help you."

Ranma gave me a nervous study and asked, "You really mean that, Nabiki?"

"Of course I mean it," I smiled for her benefit, "I'm supposed to be some kind of Lore Master, right? I'll just see what I can learn from that Lotion character and maybe she'll let slip the secret to beating the Cat-Tongue."

Ranma gave me the strangest look, almost frighteningly haunted, then glanced away, "I know you wanna help, Nabiki, and it means a lot to me, really. I…you know how I feel about you, right?"

That question took be aback for a moment, but I managed to reply, "I've…got a pretty good idea, Ranchan…and you know it's returned."

Ukyo was looking at the both of us as she said, "Wow, you two really do have the hots for each other. I never imagined…"

Ranma shut her eyes and said, "Just stop it, will ya?"

"Huh?" Ukyo asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

Ranma turned and looked at her with a suddenly fierce glare and said, "I can't love anybody while I'm like this! I'm not a guy at the moment, and Nabiki deserves a guy's love, not some sex-changing freak like me…"

"Stop that, Ranma!" I protested, "You're not a freak! You're the nicest guy I've ever known, and I don't care what you look like just so long as it's you I'm dealing with…"

"Really?" Ranma looked at me half-defensive, half-hopeful, "Do you really mean that, Nabiki? 'Cause I don't blame you at all if you don't, even if you're just saying that to make me feel better and stuff…"

"I'd never lie to you, Ranma," which I think maybe counts as a sort-of-lie since I was withholding important information from her regarding Kuonji, "And you know I'd never hurt you, never abandon you, never shut you out or treat you like dirt or any different than I'd treat you in your guy-form…"

"Nabiki…" Ranma looked up at me, and I could see the tears fighting for control in her blue eyes that seemed to mirror my own soul as I looked into their depths, but before things got any further along we suddenly heard a laugh and turned to glare in astonishment and annoyance at Cologne, who was standing a short ways off on the patio regarding us with her most inscrutable expression.

"Hey," Ukyo sat upright, "How did you sneak up on…"

"That is of little concern, Kuonji-san," the old woman replied, and I noted that she seemed to keep Ukyo's name gender neutral, "What matters is that my future son-in-law and his other fiancée seem to be getting along splendidly. You're already halfway there, my boy, now all you have to do is accept Shampoo for your wife and I'll reverse the Cat-Tongue and give you back your manhood."

"Nothing doing, you old dried up-!" Ranma said as she rose to her feet, only to halt in her tracks as Cologne held something up for her inspection, the medallion containing the Phoenix pill! Ranma screwed her eyes up looking at it, then she backed away slowly to get a better look at the heart-shaped locket.

"Looking for this?" Cologne asked her, "It's just what you need to make the ladies happy again, right boy? All you've got to do is show me you've improved enough to warrant my attention."

"Ah," Ranma hesitated, "It's probably just another stupid gum drop, like the one you used to trick me last time!"

"Nope," Cologne smiled, "This time it's the real thing, the Phoenix pill, and it's yours to have if you just agree to marry my Shampoo and accept the arrangement she made for you…"

"Gimme that!" Ranma suddenly lunged forward, moving like she was on fire, only the old woman was much too fast for her to nab and flowed out of her grasp, suddenly winding up on the ceiling, then inside the lodge, then behind the counter, on the counter, around on top of one of the tables, all the while leading Ranma along by the nose without her coming close to gaining her objective.

Ukyo and I followed Ranma into the nearly abandoned lobby area as Cologne continued to taunt her, leading her on as Ranma became more and more frustrated, and consequently more angry. She suddenly halted in the middle of the room looking intensely focused, a look I'd seen on other occasions, but never this intense. It was like the scene with the Splitting Cat Hairs trick that Cologne had pulled not very long ago, only now Ranma was using that same focus to track the movements of the fast-moving old woman.

All at once Ranma lunged and almost caught Cologne, which must have surprised the old woman even more than it did us because she backed right up to within easy reach of Ukyo, who had unslung her ever-present spatula and took a swing at the old woman's unprotected backside.

Well, I have to amend that by saying it looked unprotected, but the old woman must have sensed the attack in time because she vaulted right over our heads and made it to the door before turning around, giving us all a cagey look before saying, "I see…you have some formidable allies batting in your corner, son-in-law. We'll continue this outside, if you're man enough to follow me to the slalom."

"I'm man enough for anything you throw at me, you old prune!" Ranma cried and was out the door before we could stop her.

Ukyo still had her baker's peel in hand and was about to charge out after her when I put a restraining hand on her arm and said, "You don't want to get mixed up in this one, Kuonji. That old lady's more dangerous than you can imagine, and if you beat her you've made an enemy for life…"

"Or earned a name among our legends," said a by-now familiar voice from directly behind me as we both turned to see a second old woman standing there looking shrewdly at the both of us, "Might I ask why you felt tempted to risk life and limb just now by challenging the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku?"

Ukyo was looking in puzzlement at my self-appointed sensei then demanded to know who she was, so I quickly made introductions before turning to regard Lotion as I said, "What are the two of you trying to pull here? And what are you doing following us all the way into the mountains?"

Lotion just gave me that annoying smile of hers and said, "And who says we are following you? Seems to me more like it is your mutual fiancée who is doing the following in this matter."

"You…know?" Ukyo was taken aback for a moment before getting angry again and saying, "What kind of sick game are you guys playing here? What's the big idea of making Ranma chase over all creation trying to get back his manhood?"

"You will have to ask the Matriarch about her motives," Lotion replied, "But for my part I merely seek to spend time with my apprentice, if that is all right with you, Daughter."

"That depends," I said levelly, "On whether or not you can help me out with Ranma, and don't give me that bunk about you having an agreement with Cologne to leave me alone while you supposedly train me! I'm tired of the both of you manipulating us, playing with our lives like we're puppets on a string…"

"I am very sorry you feel that way, or believe that to be the case with me," Lotion replied, "I had no idea that my services were so resented. Perhaps I should leave you now to reflect on your decision. A pity about you and Ranma…you had such promise as a couple, but clearly I was mistaken."

"What?" I blinked, "What the hell are you saying to me here? What about me and Ranma?"

Lotion started forward, "Only that it was Shampoo's declaration that you were worthy to be a Lore Master that brought me all this way from China. The Matriarch agreed with her estimation, and so she was willing to relent and permit you to remain affianced to your darling Ranma. This was done out of respect for your potential as a worthy daughter of Tsukino Kimiko. How long do you think you can remain his iinazuke without the teaching I was willing to share with you? Warrior marriages involving more than two parties are supposed to be a partnership between equals. You refuse my teaching, you are no longer held as an equal, and the Matriarch has the right to deny your engagement."

"What the hell kind of jackass law is that?" Ukyo demanded, "And look at us when you talk to us, old woman-OW!"

Ukyo was struck once in the stomach by Lotion's staff before the old woman leaned upon it once again and said simply, "I understand your feelings in the matter, Miss Kuonji. You were not raised as an Amazon, though you are certainly worthy of being granted full warrior status. Because of your youth and inexperience I will overlook your disrespectful tone and leave you with this simple warning: Do not challenge Cologne. The Matriarch was clearly impressed with your silent approach and the way you struck at her seeming blind side, but respect from her can only mean trouble for you. If you provoke her interest she may decide to test your worth in earnest, and that could mean a series of trials the like of which even Saotome Ranma would balk. If she comes to like you that could mean even worse trouble in your very near future."

Ukyo glared from where she was holding her guts and snarled, "I'm not afraid…of either one of you…!"

"Then you are either a great fool or very brave," Lotion replied, "Either way it makes no difference. Good day to you both…"

"Wait!"

I was rather surprised to find that this word had come from my throat, but I had spoken it before thinking things out, so when she turned a questioning look at me I had to think fast before saying, "Just what do you want from me anyway? You know playing games like this isn't the best way to get on my good side."

To my surprise the old woman smiled, "Then I will speak honestly with you. I find you fascinating for several reasons, not the least of which is how one with so little training has managed thus far to master the fundamental basics of what it means to be a Lore Master. True you have inherited potential, but most who have talent never discover its usage. You have the innate gift of seeing opportunity in every problem, and the clarity of thought to exploit an opportunity when it is provided."

"So," I said noncommittally, "That's part of being a Lore Master?"

"An essential part, to be certain," she replied, "But there is far more to it than that. Observe."

Suddenly the old woman who stood three meters away from me was suddenly thrusting her staff at my face, and without thinking about it I raised my hand and caught it between my fingers. I stared in amazement as the thing hovered mere centimeters from my nose, then the Elder freed her stick from my grasp and leaned against it once more, smiling without surprise at the speed of my reactions.

"Do you know how many warriors of our village could do what you have just done?" she asked casually, "Only one, and she is our present Matriarch. You reacted from instinct to defend yourself, but if you had a moment to think about it would you have been as able to rally your defenses?'

"I…don't…no," I admitted, then blinked, wondering aloud, "How did I do that?"

Suddenly the staff came at me once again, this time aimed at my knee, but I raised my leg and it missed me. I suddenly rocked back without thinking as the air swished where my head had been, and then I jumped back just in time to miss being impaled on the sharper end of the stick. Without needing to think about it I fell into a martial crouch, but once more the woman was merely leaning on her staff looking at me in satisfaction.

"You see?" she smiled, "Your reactions are instinctive. How long do you think you would have needed to train to become good enough at dodging and avoiding attacks of this nature?"

"Uh…" I hesitated then replied honestly, "Nearly all of my life?"

"And how long did you train with the Kodachi woman as your instructor?" Lotion asked with that smile of hers that as much as said she already knew all of the details.

"Um…maybe five days," I said very softly.

"You adapt quickly to new conditions, discovering new ways to move your body that insure a minimum of pain and gain reflexes virtually overnight after only a little exposure to a consummate master of Rhythmic Gymnastics. Now do you see one of the facets of being what you are? Your mind and body interact with a speed like mercury to process new experience and convert it into wisdom."

"So…" Ukyo said as she slowly rose to her feet, "You're saying Nab-chan here picks things up really fast? So do I, I'll have you know…"

"But you are not on her level as a problem solver," Lotion replied without looking directly at her, then inclined her head as she smiled and added, "I believe you two should go outside and put on your skis. Matters are progressing much quicker than even I anticipated."

"What's going on outside?" Ukyo asked, then when Lotion just smiled at us we both took the hint and made a rush for the door, not bothering to think about the details as we both knew implicitly that it somehow involved Ranma.

Or, to be more precise, it involved Cologne's plans for Ranma to participate in a contest that was being held on behalf of the Nekohanten, which just happened to mysteriously have a branch division located a short distance from the lodge. The contest was a downhill, cross-country martial arts race where the participants had to carry a small snowman on a two mile run across the finish line, the prize being a kiss by a pretty girl with a medallion of victory to be placed around their head.

Three guesses who the girl was…or the medallion she would be presenting!

"Shampoo?" I heard Ukyo gasp, though I was not as surprised, having deduced from Cologne's presence that this would mean that her great granddaughter would be with her.

The purple-haired Amazon was wearing a tight fitting ski outfit that amply displayed her excellent figure, and she was smiling as she waved to the crowds, though her eyes sought me out and her smile deepened when she saw me. I managed to glance to the side on instinct as I found Ranma also standing a short distance away, staring at the pendant, then I saw her clench her fists in determination, which I knew meant that she had implicitly accepted Cologne's new challenge.

How do I summarize the contest that followed? I, of course, also joined the race, even though playing along with the old woman's scheme was not something I felt good about doing. Ukyo followed my example and also joined the race, as did Akane-much to my astonishment! I wasn't sure if she meant to receive a kiss from Shampoo, but it was a safe bet that she did not trust the Amazon enough to let me be the one to uphold the family honor.

Well, I will say that the race was interesting, especially after Lotion somehow contrived to walk right up along side me and murmur in my ear, "Remember, if you allow the Snowman to get smashed you lose. It's up to you or Ranma to win victory in this race."

"Uh, yeah," I said, and then I snapped as I heard the starter pistol go off, and the race was on with over a hundred participants eager to snatch a kiss from the pretty purple-haired "prize." I suddenly was just as determined to see to it that it was either Ranma or me who crossed that finish line with an intact snowman.

And that's what I proceeded to do, racing downhill, using my skill on skis to keep up with Ranma, who opted for a pair of snowshoes, which Akane-surprisingly enough-suggested. Running downhill in the clumsy things didn't seem to slow her as she kept up with the pack, dodging attacks from fellow skiers who tried to knock the snowman out of her hand. Ranma easily avoided them before returning the favor, sending snowman after snowman to oblivion without hardly breaking stride, especially when Cologne appeared to give her further incentive.

I myself was doing pretty much the same thing, and doing it pretty well considering I'd never tried anything like this before. Let me tell you, that snowman was cold! I could feel it right through my snow mitten, but somehow I managed to shift my balance while holding it steady. Ukyo was fighting to keep on top of things while I just danced around the thrust of ski poles that were jabbed almost in my face, and I retaliated in kind without losing my focus upon Ranma. It was like that thing I did back in the lodge when I dodged the old woman's attacks, operating on pure instinct as the fight became a slow process of elimination, which intensified significantly when I found a purple haired wonder at my side protecting my flanks.

"Shampoo?" I gasped in surprise, "I thought you were the prize in all this! Are you allowed to compete?"

"Shampoo no want give kiss to anyone but Airen," Shampoo replied, "So Shampoo make sure only Airen win. Either Ranma or Nabiki, Shampoo give prize very gladly."

"I don't suppose you have any idea what your great grandmother is really up to in doing this?" I asked her and took note of the guilty pause that followed as Shampoo seemed to be considering the question carefully before offering an answer.

"Hibiichan no tell Shampoo everything," she said at last, "But Shampoo think she do this to test Ranma and Ranma Airen. She see you work together, it much please her, think Shampoo have strong…what is word for join together?"

"Union?" I asked, and saw her nod enthusiastically.

"Hai, that!" she replied, then we both took note of the fact that we were almost alone but for the presence of Ukyo and Akane. Most of the other challengers were either defeated or too far from us to very much matter. We were coming closer to the finish line, only Ranma had halted from her lead and was in the process of fighting it out with Cologne, using her single ski-pole to fend off the staff of the Elder.

"Give it up, Sonny Boy!" we heard Cologne's dry, withered voice taunt Ranma as they dueled like master fencers at a speed that would have given pause to Basil Rathbone, "You're about a hundred years too soon to have a chance at beating me!"

"Nothing doing, old ghoul!" Ranma taunted back, "I'm getting that pill, and nothing you can do is going to stop me!"

"Is that so?" Cologne smiled and suddenly vaulted into the air, prompting Ranma to jump high as well, only to discover that Cologne directed her next attack not at her but at her snow shoes and shattered them to bits with a single passage.

Ranma landed and her feet sank up to her knees in the snow while Cologne poised expertly on her staff and smiled at her in triumph.

"Now do you give up, sonny boy?" Cologne asked coyly.

"No way!" Ranma cried as she held out the snowman, "I still have this…!"

Had became the proper term as suddenly Cologne struck the snowman out of her hand and shattered it on the ground, then again poised on her staff and remarked, "You were saying?"

"Ranma can't win without a Snowman, can he?" I heard Ukyo ask, which I had to confess was the upshot of the baka making that grand gesture against the old lady.

Shampoo, however, got an idea and probably smiled at me in a way that would have telegraphed her intent had my attention not been focused elsewhere. All I know is that I felt a sudden slap on my rump and sent me moving forward uncontrollably, and as I gasped and bent my knees to maintain my balance, holding onto my snowman for dear life, I saw the finish line rushing up at me in a hurry and realized belatedly just why the Amazon had sent me careening forward.

"Oh no you don't!" I heard a voice cry out, and I twisted my body once again from instinct as I sensed the attack coming at me from behind. Unfortunately the attack on me was a feint and the real thrust was aimed at my poor snowman, which shattered while I was only a meter from victory. I managed to eventually stop myself a few meters later and turned about to confront Cologne, flashing her with my most annoyed of expressions.

"What's the big idea?" I demanded, "I thought Lotion said…"

"Just because I've surrendered you into her care is no reason why I should permit you to interfere with my plans for you and the boy," she replied as she perched upon her staff, "Shampoo thought to help you, and I give her points for loyalty to both of her chosen mates, but there's no way that I'll permit your Ranma to get off the hook so lightly, which is why I've also shattered Shampoo's snowman on the off-chance that she might try to claim the prize for herself…"

"You needn't have bothered."

Cologne turned a surprised look to one side as I glanced in equal amazement at seeing Ukyo standing there with her snowman, giving us a smug look as she added, "The prize belongs to me now, so you can hand over that pill to Ranchan."

"Oh my," Cologne said mildly, "Did I forget all about you? Silly me…it never occurred to me that you might interfere on the boy's behalf…"

"Ranma's my…friend," Ukyo declared with just the slightest hesitation, "I'd do anything to help him get his manhood back, so you just live up to your half of the bargain and…"

"Hold on," Cologne replied, "I said that the winner would win a kiss from my great granddaughter and be entitled to the locket, I never said anything about including the contents…"

"Why you old ghoul!" Ranma herself cried as she came staggering up, forcing her way through the snow from sheer effort, though her pace was much slower than a fast walk rather than her gliding stride, "How dare you try and renege on an affair of honor!"

"Calm down, son-in-law," Cologne replied, "You'll still get your chance to win my great granddaughter's hand. The pill will be safe with me until I think you're deserving enough to have it."

"Why you!" Ranma tried to lunge forward, but instead wound up nearly landing on her face save that Shampoo came rushing up to catch her at the last second. With Shampoo's assistance she was able to catch up with Cologne, and then Shampoo freed herself from her skis and made a grand gesture of offering them to Ranma.

"Great Grandmother," Shampoo said as she sank down into the snow, "Give Ranma pill and restore him! He prove worthy to Shampoo, no need force Ranma accept Shampoo, much rather have Ranma and Nabiki see Shampoo as deserving."

"I know it's hard on you, child, but bear with me on this," Cologne replied, "Trust your old granny to know what's best for your future…"

"Great Grandmother," Shampoo seemed to be struggling with herself for a moment before she said, "No want you interfere in Shampoo marriage. Shampoo know you mean best, but you only make Ranma angry. He no choose Shampoo if he forced! Shampoo no want to force him…"

"You care for him that much?" Cologne sounded surprised, "Would you stand up to me for his sake, as well as Tendo Nabiki?"

"I…" Shampoo looked down, her resolve obviously faltering, "No want to fight you, Great Grandmother. You Matriarch of tribe, Shampoo look up to you, no challenge Elder…"

"Shampoo," Ranma said softly at the level of a murmur, obviously never having expected to hear the Amazon stand up on her behalf against the very woman who had trained her.

I'd seen her inward struggle too and cried, "That's enough! You stop brow beating her down, you dried up old fossil! It's not fair to her to force her to choose between us like that!"

"Well, well," Cologne mused, "It seems your protective instincts are returned in kind by at least one of your Airen. You have impressed me, Shampoo…I had no idea that you could inspire such loyalty in those who care for you, but it's not enough to satisfy the conditions of Amazon honor."

"And what would?" Ukyo demanded crossly, fingering her baker's peel with one hand until she caught my warning glance as I tried to get her to keep from deepening her involvement.

"I ask only one of two conditions," Cologne replied as she fixed her stare upon Ranma, "Either you accept Shampoo as your wife or you face me now and prove yourself worthy to be her husband."

"What the heck kind of choice is that?" Ranma demanded, only to be surprised as our fathers joined in at that moment, my daddy in particular grabbing Ranma by the shoulders as he looked at her and said, "Son, you're not planning on abandoning my little girl for this Shampoo, are you?"

"Huh?" Ranma blinked, then protested, "Hey, that's not it at all-!"

"What about it, Boy?" uncle Genma emphasized the word, "Are you going to choose the Amazon over your own iinazuke? Speak up! Be a man and take a stand, for once!"

"And who are you to talk?" Ranma snarled at her father, only to have mine in her face again as Daddy gave her his scariest look and growled, "You will not dishonor me and my house! Choose Nabiki now and put an end to this talk about other women!"

"Daddy…" I growled, wanting to hit him with my ski pole in frustration.

"Good grief," I heard Akane join in as she and Kasumi finally caught up with the rest of us as hundreds of onlookers gaped in amazement at what had to be one very strange spectacle, only made worse by the intervention of our parents.

Daddy steered Ranma around until she was facing towards both me and Shampoo then said, "Which is it going to be, Son? Tell me which girl it is you choose to marry!"

"Make a decision and bring honor to your family name, Boy!" his father also chimed in as he took a position behind both me and Shampoo, laying a hand on either shoulder as it to bring us closer together, "Which girl do you intend to marry?"

"Hah?" Ranma blinked, looking from me to Shampoo and back again as if she were really under the spotlight, which is apt enough as suddenly I was very interested in seeing which way she would turn to get out of this one.

"Hey!" Ukyo interjected once again, "What's the idea of forcing her to choose like that? Isn't it obvious enough that the issue is Ranma having BOTH girls for his fiancées?'

"But…that's utterly immoral!" my father protested, "He can't have it both ways…"

"And why not?" Ukyo asked, "What's so immoral about trying to please both of them? At least he isn't trying to cheat one of them behind the back of the other!"

"Ucchan," Ranma looked up at her, then casually brushed my father off and said, "You don't have to worry about a thing, Tendo-san, I'm not gonna let that old mummy bully me into doing what she wants."

"So you say, my boy," the old woman cackled, "But let's see if you can put your money where your mouth is."

She suddenly spun her staff in the air, then thrust the tip down into the snow, and for a moment nothing seemed to happen, though I could sense some tension in the air that made my skin crawl and caused my nape hairs to stand on end. Only a few seconds later the snow began to shake under our feet, then explode into columns like blasts from a geyser.

Daddy was knocked off his feet as one such eruption caught Ranma by surprise and sent her flying up into the air while the old woman spun her staff and took off like a helicopter. I covered my eyes to shade them as the two soared really high into what looked like a snowy tornado spinning far over our heads, and then they vanished over the tops of the nearest tree line.

"Wow," Ukyo said as she recovered her balance, "What the heck was that? How did that old lady do it?"

"Quite simple really," replied Lotion, who had joined us without any warning, "Cologne is a master of the Five-Elements school of martial arts discipline. She can shift between schools as easily as you might change your kata, and at present she has adapted the Water and Air Schools into their combined form, which is known as the Winter Wonderland Attack."

"Winter Wonderland Attack?" I repeated, wondering what Bing Crosby had to do with this.

"You think we never get snow up in the Qing Hai region?" Lotion asked reasonably, "We're just north of the Himalayas by a few hundred kilometers, and Shampoo here is our reigning ski champion in Nyanchiczu-controlled territory…"

"Aiyaa!" Shampoo exclaimed, "Ranma can no beat Great Grandmother if she use Five Elements fighting Ryu! We must go find Ranma and warn him it no pay to get Great Grandmother really angry…"

"Here Shampoo," said Kasumi as she knelt down and removed her skis before handing them over, "You need to get there in a hurry, so take my skis. I'll borrow someone else's."

"Kasumi always nice to Shampoo," the Amazon said as she happily accepted Kasumi's offer, dropping the skis before setting her booted feet down and locking them in place before picking up her ski poles, "Shampoo someday do very nice thing for Kasumi. You come with Shampoo, Nabiki?"

"Sure," I said, "Wouldn't miss this for the world."

We followed her lead as she set off on a certain course that took us down by the frozen stream to a wooded area isolated from the view of all others but our happy little group. We arrived just in time to see Ranma on the losing end of a barrage of ice that the old woman was somehow hurling towards him as if by magic. Cologne was on the back of a Polar Bear composed out of ice as could be denoted by its slight transparency. Ranma had all but been knocked back to the edge of the ice pond and was clearly on the ropes, which was hardly surprising given the furious way that the old lady was beating her senseless.

"Ranma!" Shampoo cried, then kicked out of her borrowed skis and began running over the snow, moving so fast that her feet did not have time to sink into the white stuff before she could reach Ranma's side. Cologne relented in her attack and simply sat on her bear waiting to see what would happen.

I was a little curious at what Ranma must have done to tick the old woman off that badly, but knowing that one of Ranma's standard tactics in a fight is to taunt her enemies, it was probably something that made the old woman act so peevish. At the time I idly took note of the borrowed skis Shampoo had given Ranma sticking out of the snow to one side and looked around at the signs that a battle royal had just taken place here. Then my attention was riveted back towards Shampoo, who had finally gained Ranma's undivided attention.

"Ranma," Shampoo said as she clutched our redheaded betrothed's hands in her own and looked at him with a pleading expression, "Shampoo no want you hurt! You give up now, we train you to give Great Grandmother better fight next time."

"That's right, boy," Genma called out from where the rest of us hung back to watch these exchanges, "You've given it your best try, and admitting when you're outclassed is all part of being a great martial artist! We'll train for the rematch, and then you can get back at the old lady!'

"Nothing doing, you guys!" Ranma snapped back, "I'm not beaten yet! I…" she suddenly turned to look at Shampoo and said, "Shampoo? That's it! I've got it!"

"Got what, Ranma?" Shampoo asked, clearly confused by her sudden change of mood from one of defiance to outright jubilation.

"Shampoo," Ranma sat up and grabbed the Amazon's hands in a way that made he clench hard on my ski poles, "You're the answer! I can beat her with your help!"

"Ranma…?" Shampoo sounded breathless, while I just felt something knot up inside my belly as I watched her suddenly glow with happiness, "You mean that? Shampoo do anything to help you!"

"I'm nothing without you," Ranma declared, and that must have been the point when I took one of my aluminum ski poles and bent it double, only then Ranma surprised us further by jumping to her feet and saying, "C'mon, let's do it!"

Dragging a much-surprised Shampoo with him, Ranma leaped up and deliberately threw the both of them into a big hole created in the ice by her fight with the old woman. There wasn't time for Shampoo to give a yelp before they vanished from our view, only to emerge a few second later as Ranma jumped up out of the water screaming about the cat that was suddenly digging its claws into her shoulder.

"Interesting," I heard Lotion murmur in obvious amusement, "The boy's a strategist after all. Who would have thought it?"

"That's it!" I heard his father say, "The boy's going to use the Nekoken!"

"The Cat Fist?" Akane gasped, "After what happened the last time? Is he crazy?"

"Desperately crazy, I would say," our daddy remarked, while Ukyo just stood where she was beside me and said, "What's Ranchan up to, turning her into a cat like that?"

"Just watch," I said slowly, finally realizing what Ranma had been planning all along.

Sure enough Ranma began to run around in a blind panic until his father caught him and put Shampoo up directly in his face, urging him to feel the burn as his panic gave way to his alternate persona. Ranma fell down on all fours and began to tremble, then meow. It was at that point that I knew that the fight was virtually over and that Cologne would not stand a chance. Ranma was all but invincible in this beserker state, and with the added training of the Amaguriken…well, you get the picture.

So did Cologne as Ranma laid into her with a bloody vengeance, tearing through every block of ice the old woman hurled his way, even shattering the ice bear as the two soared high in a whirlwind of destruction. The fight ended when Cologne hit the snow bank and did not move for the next several minutes. Ranma landed not far from her and looked ready to finish the job, but that's when I intervened and called out to her, moving away from the others as I knelt down and said, "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!"

Ranma came bounding over to me and landed on top of my lap, bowling us both over into the ice before she curled up between my legs and started purring with contentment. I stroked her reddish hair after only a minute of hesitation, then pulled off my mittens so that I could feel her wet locks as something warmed up inside of me and I began to feel a whole lot better about the situation.

I can only imagine what Ukyo was thinking, but I took notice of the fact that she was holding the wet cat that was Shampoo in both hands while they stood watching us with curious expressions. I gave Shampoo a lopsided smile, knowing we were going to have to fish her clothing out of the drink so that we could take her back with us to our lodgings. It had been a pretty strange day, but some inward part of me knew that it was hardly all over.

Cologne recovered before Ranma did and I gave her a warning glare as something protective inside me rose up to take charge over my feelings. Cologne then surprised us by being conciliatory, even smiling as she said that it had been at least a hundred fifty years since anyone had given her a good workout like that. Lotion then sniffed and said, "One hundred eighty. You forgot about him."

"How could I forget about the Golem?" Cologne retorted, "As if you'd ever let me…"

That enigmatic comment out of the way, Cologne then handed the broach to Ukyo, telling her that Shampoo was indisposed and could not present it herself, but that she was certain her great granddaughter would honor her pledge to kiss the victor of the snow match. I had the considerable amusement of watching both Ukyo and the cat give non-plussed expressions at the way the old woman had said that, not to mention when Ukyo revealed that a free all-expenses paid dinner date was a part of the grand prize, and that she was certain Kuonji would be a "gentleman" and look after her great granddaughter.

"Nani?" was the only thing Kuonji would say on our way back while Shampoo perched atop her shoulders looking strangely thoughtful for some reason.

I took charge of Shampoo once we got back to the lodge then headed at once for the bathroom, warning Ranma not to follow since it was his intent to try out the Phoenix Pill once Lotion confirmed its authenticity. I slid open the doors to the bath…and that's when the strangest thing of the entire day happened! In stead of a small cubical, like an average Japanese furo, I found myself in some kind of huge dome-like chamber occupied by a lake-sized bathing pool complete with indoor aquifer and tasteful decor with plants forming a kind of make-believe grotto. Both Shampoo and me must have batted our eyes for a full minute because we got hailed by the present occupants of the baths who asked us to close the door rather than let a draft into the chamber.

I'd already changed out of my ski outfit, and Kasumi was drying Shampoo's, so I cleaned off my body then stepped into the pool, and once in the water Shampoo changed back to herself, much to the amazement of the others. The Masaki house guests were indeed surprised at seeing the Amazon replace the cat that had been there moments earlier, but they took things in stride once we had explained about Jusenkyo curses. These girls seemed to take weirdness as a perfectly ordinary thing, but they did warn me about letting someone named Washu find out about this or we'd never hear the end of it. Washu, I think, was that cute girl with spiky red hair who hardly ever showed her face around the house and was always muttering something or other about the experiments she had going. A mad scientist type…we've got more than our share of those at Furinkan!

Of course the next surprise was something neither me nor Shampoo were prepared for as Ukyo appeared at the baths, having made the obligatory inquiry to how something this big could be fit inside of such sparse lodgings. Ukyo was wearing a towel around her body and not much else, but once invited into the tub she made a big production of taking the towel off to clean and scrub her body, trying hard not to show too much flesh to our view, which prompted some wry comments from our direction.

"What Spatula Girl hiding?" Shampoo asked, "You no want see disfiguring scars or something?"

"Yeah," I said, "What's the big deal, Kuonji? If you really are a girl, then it's not like you've got anything we haven't already seen before."

"Uh…all right," Ukyo said as she sat on the bench with her hands still wrapped around herself, "It's just…really hard, y'know? I mean…I haven't…done this in quite a while…I mean, let other people see me naked."

Shampoo and I were both surprised at hearing that, but our surprise turned to dismay when Ukyo did finally turn around and show off a body that was anything but disfigured! The marks of some kind of restraining harness were visible on her upper shoulders, but otherwise she had a pair of large, firm breasts and a figure like a supermodel. She was lean and muscular, but somehow all the more feminine and sexy for her athletic appearance. She had long, shapely legs and-guy-appearance or not-they looked smooth and clean-shaven!

As she eased herself into the warm water Shampoo and I tracked her sinuous movements, which had the kind of unselfconscious grace that Ranma displayed in his female body. Once Ukyo was sitting down beside us in the water I could see the tension start to melt out of her face and body as she began to relax, then nodded to us and said, "Just us girls here, I guess," with a kind of nervous bravado.

"But of course," said the girl with dark purple hair done up in a very unusual hairstyle, whose name I believe was Ayeka, "This is the girl's side of the bathroom. The boys aren't permitted in here, don't you know? It's not proper.'

"Yeah," the cyan blue-haired Ryoko snorted, "No guys, and that's the trouble! I wouldn't mind having Tenchi in here to wash my back…" and that idle comment seemed to spark off a jealous retort that led to a small altercation between these two very strange ladies.

We ignored the altercation as something that was fairly common enough back home while Shampoo finally overcame her surprise as she looked at Ukyo in a very strange way then said, "How you manage to look like guy? Those things no look like they easy to hide."

"Oh, these?" Ukyo glanced down at her breasts with a nervous chuckle, "Well, it used to be a lot easier, but lately…well…they keep filling out, and pretty soon I may have to use a bigger restraining harness."

"Harness?" I asked, looking down at the grapefruit-sized globes bobbing just above the level of the water, "How the heck do you tape those things down anyway? It must be awfully restrictive…"

"Oh, it is," Ukyo rolled her eyes, "But I'm more-or-less used to it by now, and I have a lot of practice working out with them, believe me! Besides, it's not like I'm anything special next to the pair of you. I mean, you've both got great bodies, and yours look a lot bigger," she gave Shampoo an appreciative glance before hastily looking elsewhere.

I wasn't sure how to take that compliment, and neither was Shampoo, so instead I said, "So…what made you decide to join us? You could have waited until we were finished."

"I wanted a chance to talk where Ranma couldn't overhear us," Ukyo replied, "And…well…to be honest, it's nice to loosen up around people who already know my secret. Taping my breasts down with a wrap was never any fun most mornings, and lately it's become just impossible! The harness is hardly any better, so I kinda welcome a chance not to wear it for a while, y'know? Just be myself for a while, not try and hide who I am or deny my femininity, and you guys have been awfully nice to me since you learned the truth about me."

"Spatula Girl…" Shampoo began, then hesitated.

"I wish you wouldn't call me that all of the time," Ukyo said in mild irritation, then sighed and said, "Just call me Ukyo, okay? I mean, with a name like Shampoo you must have got really tired at having all sorts of stupid nick names where you came from…"

"Aiyaa," Shampoo softly agreed, then made an effort and said, "U-ky-o…strange Japanese name. Well…Shampoo just want know why is you father wanted you to be boy child? Is not girl child much better honor? You very strong warrior, and you even impress Great Grandmother, though you probably no should do this…"

"That old lady doesn't scare me," Ukyo snorted, then replied, "I guess it must seem weird to an Amazon, but here in Japan they think boys are superior to girls. Having been a boy in everything but the most important details I can tell you a lot about the different way men and women get treated! Adults think we're just good for sex, so they imagine we're some kind of predatory mutant species out to steal their sons and suck their souls or something like that. Dad wanted a boy who could inherit his business, not be looked down on by a protective superior, and there were…other family obligations he had to think about. My being a girl just went against his plans, so he probably would have kept trying until he had a son to look after, only Mom died before that could happen. I was his only child, and not a son, and so he thought maybe he could fix me up with Genma's son when Ranchan and I first became friends, only things didn't quite work out like he'd imagined. Me either..." she added with a somewhat wistful expression.

"Is you being a guy that important to him?" I asked as I studied her attractive profile and silently resolved never to let Ranma see her in this state.

"You have no idea," Ukyo sighed, "Or maybe you do. You only have sisters, I've noticed. How does your father treat you?"

I had to think on that, of course, recalling the way Daddy treated me and my sisters like we were fragile porcelain dolls…all except for Akane, and even with her he was unintentionally patronizing. Would Dad have treated a boy the same way as Akane? What if Kasumi and me were born male. Would that have affected the way he fawned on me and heaped devotion (plus a ton of housework) on Kasumi?

"Okay," I said, deciding to change the subject, "So, how are you coping with being best friends to Ranma?"

He gave a wary smile and said, "Just great, except for the fact that he doesn't seem to know I'm a girl when I'm standing a half meter away!" she looked slightly depressed as she said that.

"You no want be treated as a man, why you dress like one?" Shampoo reasonably asked her.

"She's got a point, Kuonji-san," I noted, "Sooner or later you're going to have to come clean with Ranma."

"And tell him about the engagement?" Ukyo asked, "How the blazes do I explain that? And what good does it to me when it should be obvious to anyone that he's more interested in the both of you? I'd just be getting in the way…even if he is a great guy and a better catch than I'd imagined he'd be."

Shampoo and I exchanged looks, then I cautiously said, "In other words…you do like Ranma?"

Ukyo looked uncomfortable as she glanced at the both of us then said, "Yeah…I think I do like him. He's the first guy who's treated me decently, even if he does think that we're just best buddies. I haven't known many guys who were that nice, and no one that I'd feel that good about being with."

"Then you no decide you drop engagement?" Shampoo asked, which elicited another sigh from our reluctant companion.

"I can't drop it like that, Sugar, not without convincing my dad to change his will, or to get him to think I've avenged the family honor, or some combination of the two," she stared down into the water and her tone dropped a little as she added, "Besides…I'm not sure I'd want to, at least not yet. I'm not trying to take him away from you or anything, but…there's just something about Ranchan that makes me think maybe it could work out between us. I won't press the issue for now, but…I have to reserve my options just to be sure. I mean…you understand, don't you?"

I think I can skip the rest of what follows, mainly the fact that Shampoo started glowing as she glared at Ukyo while I felt conflicting knots tie up in my belly as I compared myself to Kuonji. It all became moot anyway since the altercation between the two Tenchi girls got really violent about that point and we were forced to vacate the bathing pool in a hurry. I'd swear that Ayeka was some kind of a wizard or just had great illusion powers, because it looked like she was surrounding herself with logs while that Ryoko was crackling with electricity. We didn't stay around long enough to witness too many of the details.

Anyway I wound up back in the lodge with Ukyo and Shampoo as we helped Kasumi and Sasami prepare our dinner, or at least they helped while I confined my efforts to chopping vegetables, which is about the limit of my skills in the kitchen. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful as Kuonji-dressed again as a guy-sought out a now-male Ranma for some "buddy-buddy" talk, which made me feel exclusive until Ranma sought me out a few minutes later me to ask to follow him out of the kitchen.

It was not surprising that we went up onto the roof of the chateau to seek out some privacy as Ranma got very serious and made me think he had something important he wanted to discuss. I honestly had no idea what he wanted to do at that point, but looking at his male face again made me glad we had come through everything with little more than a few odd scrapes and bruises.

"Nabiki," he said to me, looking at me with those blue eyes that seemed to melt away all my earlier doubts and jealousies as I knew I had his full attention, "I wanna thank you for helping me out, for standing by me earlier. I know I've…put you through a lot of stuff, and I wish I could make it up to you…"

"You don't have to, Ranchan," I said, adopting the nick name that was so popular with Kuonji, "I'm just glad it's over."

"That's just it," Ranma said, "It ain't over, not as long as that old ghoul thinks she can force me into doing what she wants. I beat her this time, but it took everything I had. Next time…I maybe not be so lucky. I wouldn't mind for my sake, but when it involves you…well…I just don't trust that old mummy."

"So, what are you saying, Ranma?" I asked, sensing his uneasiness as he seemed to be working at some difficult decision.

"I've been thinking…and don't say it must hurt," he glared at me as if expecting that I would say that, but I just gave him an innocent look and he continued, "Your dad made a good point when he asked me to choose between you and Shampoo. Of course, so did Ucchan. I would have told your old man off, that it was none of his business, that I'd already decided on you, but…when I stopped and thought about it, and the way Shampoo stood up to the old ghoul…"

"Yes?" I blinked, having a very strange sense that he was about to drop an A-bomb on my lap.

Instead he looked at me intensely and asked, "What do you think about Shampoo?"

"Hah?" I asked, not understanding.

"I mean…what do you make of her?" he asked again, "You're better at this stuff than me, and I trust your judgement. Is she something else or what? Telling off her own great grandmother…that had to take guts, and she was trying to give us both a way out there. I never would have expected her to do that after seeing the way she lets that old mummy push her around in their restaurant."

"You…think she might be a good match for you after all?" I asked.

"I dunno, and that's why I'm asking," Ranma said, "This three-way marriage deal…it sounds like a lot of hard work. How could we get along together if we didn't trust each other, and I sure didn't trust Shampoo until today. I've never told you this before, but I've always been worried when she hangs around with you that she might get tempted and…do what she did with Akane. I don't think I could ever forgive that."

"Oh," I started to relax fractionally, realizing he wasn't outright dumping me in favor of the bimbo…I mean, Shampoo. I tried to concentrate and finally said what was on my thoughts, "She's a mass of contradictions, Ranma, but…I've gotten to like her, and I think I understand her a lot better than I used to. I know she's sincere in wanting to make it work with both of us, I'm just not sure if what she wants can happen. I guess I just need more time myself to think about it."

"That's what I think exactly," he nodded simply, "So maybe we should give her more time as well. I think she deserves it, and maybe…maybe it's what I want as well. I just had to know how you felt…I…um…you know I'd never want to do anything to hurt you…"

Conversation just sort of stalled about that point until we heard a meow, and Ranma stiffened a little. We both turned our heads to see Sham-chan sitting there on the roof looking at the both of us with what-on a cat-looked like a very happy expression. It was obvious enough to me that she had overheard the whole deal and was unable to contain her joy that Ranma was finally starting to think about her in a way that approached her own intense ardor.

I turned to see the look on Ranma's face, it was tense with worry…but not the kind of horrified dread I had come to expect whenever he set eyes on Shampoo's Neko-cursed body. Beads of sweat appeared on his brow in spite of the intense cold of our surroundings but somehow he seemed to be controlling his fear. He stared at Shampoo and took several deep breaths, then managed to calm himself down a little before saying, "It ain't polite to eavesdrop…but I'll let it go this time."

In response Shampoo bounded into his lap, and this time Ranma looked like he was about to freak, only again he managed to halt himself from his usual blind Neko-panic. I was amazed to even see him reach down to tentatively pet Shampoo behind her ear, which caused her to purr up a storm while Ranma continued to sweat for another full minute. A minute later he calmed down even more, then looked up at me and said, "Wow."

"Wow," I said back, and for the two of us that single word spoke volumes…

Continued

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