Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ History Lessons ( Chapter 26 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

"Hey Dad, it's me again," said Ukyo over the phone, "I got another lead on finding Ranma and his father. I'm checking it out now, and no, I don't need any help. This is my problem to deal with. I'll call you again as soon as I've got something definite to report. Bye now."

Akira Kuonji stared at the answering machine on his desk before heaving a tired sigh. Just like Ukyo to leave a terse message like that without including any details that he could use to track her movements. He knew she was somewhere in the area around the Furinkan Financial district, checking out the restaurant that he was giving her to run on her own, but other than that he had not a clue to where she was going or what she was doing one moment to another.

He supposed it was his fault, forcing her to grow up as she had, learning to be independent at an early age, developing boy skills to a point where she was almost like the boy she only pretended to be, and all because of a mistake he made ten years ago in trying to foist her off on a worthless hunk of slime like Saotome.

Well, what else did he expect but that his daughter would give him these abbreviated status reports after finally-or so she claimed-discovering the whereabouts of the boy and father who had abandoned her along the side of the road ten years ago, effectively ending her childhood as a woman. The only change he had been able to note in her tone was that the edge of raw anger was missing, replaced by a cooler, almost thoughtful tone that suggested to him that she was having second thoughts about seeking her vengeance, although that might just have been a product of his wishful thinking.

He heaved a heartfelt sigh, looking out the window of his office to see the business district of Kyoto in all its prosperous, thriving glory (well, prosperous but for that damned economic crisis that was sweeping throughout all of Asia like the latest outbreak of the Bubonic Plague). He had worked hard to get where he was through lots of sweat and effort, a long way from selling okomoniyaki from a yatai cart! And now that he had finally realized his dream he wanted to pass some of it along to his little Ukyo, who had proven many times that she was more than deserving of inheriting his fortune.

He turned back to his desk and saw the picture that occupied an area like a shine to Ukyo's late mother. All he had wanted in life was to have a son to carry on the family traditions, and instead he had a daughter that was more than a son to him now, and what had he done to her life but to warp her so that she denied her own womanhood in pursuit of a dream that had long since turned to ashes?

He had to make it right for her somehow…he had to make Ukyo understand that he was sorry for the wrong that he had done in trying to foist her off for another man to raise and care for her when he had found the pain and responsibility of raising her himself too great to bear. It was why he had altered his will to make it a condition that she either avenge herself or marry. One way or another there had to be a closure on this chapter of her life so that she could go on living for its own sake. Either she would marry her precious Ranma or forget about him forever.

Kuonji paused to feel the stabbing pain in his side, a familiar sense of his own mortality that he knew would only get worse with times passage. The doctors had assured him that he had a few good years left (he had heard that one before), so he was determined to live long enough to see his daughter married. Ukyo could not know the full story, it would affect her decision and she was already under enough pressure without adding a father's burden. He would have retired to that monastery that he often considered his second home but for the need to put all of his affairs in order. He would not betray his little girl a second time by leaving her a tangled mess to sort through. He may have failed her as a parent, but at least he could succeed as an employer.

He touched the intercom on his desk and said, "Midori-chan, have there been any messages from that Detective Agency I hired a while back?"

"Not today, Kuonji-sama," his secretary replied, "But they did report in yesterday that they had made new inquiries and were following a promising lead. The trail has led them to the Nerima province, and I believe they will have a full report for you by this time tomorrow."

"Have it on my desk first thing," he replied, thinking to himself that it was too great a coincidence that the very place where his daughter was opening her restaurant would be so close to the area of his latest investigation. Perhaps Ukyo had indeed found a warm trail, in which case he might hope for a prompt resolution to the matter. For their sakes he hoped that Saotome and his son would see fit to do the right thing, or else…

He sighed. It was not a pleasant thing to consider, but if it meant the difference between his daughter's happiness or her continuing to spend the rest of her life hiding her true sex from the world, then he was prepared to do whatever was necessary, so he turned to his desk again and said, "Midori-chan…notify my lawyers…"

Ukyo paused, hearing a sound coming from somewhere just ahead of the trail. It sounded like something hitting a rock with a particularly meaty sound, but when she quickened up her pace to investigate she found her way was blocked by a branch that thrust itself in her path and would not budge a centimeter when she pushed against it.

To her considerable surprise she discovered that the alleged "branch" was actually a staff, and that the other end of it was connected to the old gnome-like woman she had encountered before, the one named Cologne, who was looking at her with a peculiar expression.

"Do not interfere, Kuonji-san," the old woman insisted, "My student is learning a difficult maneuver and does not need to have his concentration disturbed."

"Excuse me?" Ukyo said as she turned a questioning look at the wizened Elder, "Your student wouldn't happen to be my friend, Ranchan, would he?"

"As a matter of fact, no," Cologne replied, leaning on her staff as she gave Ukyo a faint smile and said, "My son-in-law is presently elsewhere in training for a match. You may seek him out if you like, but do not interfere in any of these proceedings."

"Interfere?" Ukyo sniffed, "I wasn't planning to. I just want to find him and talk with him for a bit, if it's all the same to you, lady."

"You like my son-in-law, don't you?" Cologne said shrewdly, "And yet you are reluctant to make him aware that you are a woman. Most curious indeed."

"Huh?" Ukyo started, "Wha-how…I don't know what you're talking about…you're crazy!"

"Please, Miss Kuonji," Cologne said with a faint smile and a knowing expression, "I am a far cry from having been born only yesterday. Do you think me incapable of knowing your sex at a glance? You cut a dashing figure at the mountain resort, but your posture and balance is nothing like a man's, and your center of gravity is also different. I don't know all of the details behind your little deception, but I can guess that it has something to do with my son-in-law, and that makes it my business."

"He's not your son-in-law!" Ukyo said a bit defensively, "At least…not yet, and I don't care what kind of stupid laws you've got, you can't make Ranma agree to marry someone just because he defeated her once…"

"Twice," Cologne corrected, "And it was on two separate occasions, once as a man, the other time in his girl form. Either occasion would be sufficient, but to defeat my great granddaughter twice is proof that he is a great warrior with a destiny, and this is why the Amazons must ultimately claim him."

"And what does Shampoo think about that?" Ukyo frowned, "Or is she just being a dutiful great granddaughter and following your will? I don't know what all has been going on here, but my impression of Shampoo is that she doesn't want to be forced into this any more than Ranma. What gives you the right to play Kami-sama…?"

"And what gives you the right to question the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku?" Cologne shot back, "I do not know what claim you have on my son-in-law, but it is obvious enough that you, too, have the potential to be a great fighter, so perhaps Shampoo may claim you as well as she has Tendo Nabiki. If not her, I know several other likely candidates who would be interested…"

"Huh?" Ukyo blinked, "What are you talking about? Who are you…?"

"Who are you talking to, Cologne-san?" Akane asked as she approached them from a side path, "I was just making Ryoga some lunch and-Kuonji Ukyo? What are you doing here?"

Ukyo blinked as she saw the shorthaired younger sister to Nabiki and said, "Akane? I was just about to ask you the same question."

Akane blushed slightly as she looked at the handsome young "man" before her, then sternly told herself to think of Ryoga and no other before she replied, "I'm helping Ryoga with his training…"

"Indeed," Cologne remarked in perfect dead-pan, "And so far you have been most helpful."

Akane smiled at that, not picking up on the faint sarcasm in the ancient Amazon's tone. Instead she turned back to Ukyo and said, "He's been training awfully hard for a big fight he's going to have with Ranma in a few days…"

"Ranchan?" Ukyo arched her eyebrows, "What's his beef with Ranma?"

"I don't really know," Akane said, looking and sounding puzzled, "He won't talk to me about, at least no more than Ranma when I ask him the same question. I think it started with a fight over bread when they were a lot younger. Ryoga's a powerful fighter, almost as good at that stupid Ranma," she said the latter name like an epitaph.

"So Ranchan has enemies? I guess that isn't too surprising," Ukyo sighed before adding, "Any idea where he's training at the moment?"

"Over that way…I think," Akane said hesitantly, "It's a little hard to tell direction at the moment, but I'm pretty sure the camp where he and Nabiki are in training is over that way."

"Nabiki's training with Ranchan?" Ukyo looked surprise, "Is she in on this too?"

"Wouldn't surprise me," Akane said in a huff, "My sister gets her nose into everything, always making bets and conning people out of their hard earned Yen. You ought to be on your guard around her, Ukyo-san, she'll take you for every yen that you're worth and make you feel like an idiot. She does that with everybody…"

"I can handle myself around loan sharks," Ukyo smiled, "And your sister didn't strike me as being that bad about money."

"Shows how well you know her," Akane scoffed, "They call her the Tendo Mercenary at our school, and everybody knows better than to get on her bad side, like they do for me, but for…different reasons."

Ukyo smiled at that, "I've heard you tend to hit people who get you angry. Ranchan says you beat up the entire school athletic team every morning just to get to class…"

"Just their captains and designated champions," Akane looked away, feeling embarrassed, "And it's all that stupid Kuno's fault, declaring the only way he'd allow anyone to date me was if they could defeat me in combat…"

"Like with those Amazons," Ukyo deduced, seeing Akane suddenly flash an angry expression.

"I don't even want to talk about her," Akane growled, "Imagine wanting to date somebody just because they could beat you up, let alone marry them! Thank the Kami Ryoga showed up when he did or I know I would have gone crazy!"

"So, Ryoga is the one you want to date, huh?" Ukyo smiled, and was rewarded by seeing the girl blush and look away in silent confirmation.

"Yeah, well…Ryoga's at least a gentlemen around me. He never gets me angry, never insults me or tries to get me upset, he never lies to me and he's always very nice, not like some people I could name, including my own sister."

"By that I take it you don't mean Kasumi," Ukyo 's mouth quirked as she thought of the contrast between this short girl with the violent temper and her taller older sister, who always struck Ukyo as being the embodiment of self-possessed calm.

"No," Akane sniffed, "I don't mean Kasumi. I just wanted to warn you about Nabiki, she gets her hooks into everything sooner or later, and I wouldn't want you to get caught up in one of her schemes."

"I'll can handle myself," Ukyo assured the other girl, then winced as she heard another meaty collision, wondering what kind of a rock-head would be working out that hard, and was he really doing what it sounded like? In puzzlement she asked, "If this Ryoga is such a great guy, why is he mad at Ranchan?"

"I wish I knew the answer to that," Akane sighed, "Maybe one day he'll tell me, but I think you already know what it is, old woman," she directed her glare at Cologne's direction.

Cologne had been standing back to study the exchange between the Tendo girl and the cross-dresser, but now that she was included in their conversation once again she looked off into the distance and replied, "I know what fuels Ryoga's anger, and I would tell you but that he has made me promise silence. It is not my place to say in any event, his love life having little to do with his training, suffice to say that when the time is right and he finds the courage he will at long last make his confession."

"Confession?" Akane looked stunned, "What does he need to make a confession to me for? Can you at least give me a hint?"

"Sorry," Cologne smiled, "We Elders of the Joketsuzoku have a reputation for being inscrutable. You wouldn't want me to go against tradition, now would you?"

"I think that's my cue to leave," Ukyo said as she sensed an impending argument, waving her hands to signify dismissal, "Nice seeing you again…and you say it's this way to Ranchan's camp?"

"That way," the Elder signified a different direction with her staff, "It's not very far, just follow your nose and you can't miss it."

Ukyo hesitated, then glanced at Akane with an apologetic smile before heading off in the direction that the old woman had indicated. She could hear Akane begin to berate the Elder with questions almost immediately and smiled slightly in passing. She did not go far before her path took her near to where the sounds she had heard originated, and then she stopped in her tracks, staring in disbelief as an unfamiliar boy hung from a tree with his face all but imbedded in a huge boulder. As she looked on in horror, however, she saw him push against the rock with his free hand, then swing back for a moment before thrusting out his index finger, aiming it for the boulder, only to crash into it again with bone-jarring impact.

She was strongly tempted to whisk out a pair of her mini-spatulas to cut the boy loose, but she checked that impulse, remembering the old woman's words and her own promise of non-interference. Instead she contented herself by noticing that the boy did not look too badly hurt, even if there was a kind of crazed look in his eyes as he prepared himself for another impact. It looked awfully rough for a training session, but she had endured similar tests with her father growing up, so she decided that it really was not her place to interrupt this boy, whom she now took to be Ryoga.

"Weird," she muttered softly before starting on her path once again, wondering what sort of training Ranma must be engaged in to meet the challenge of a boy who was so determined to make a lasting impression…

Chronicles of Xian-Pu:

After many false starts I have finally decided to keep a detailed account of my adventures in Japan. I am writing in my native Mandarin because Japanese is still too hard for me to master, even if there are a few basic similarities in their pictograms of hiragana and katakana. Chinese has over two thousand characters, and I think it is much more descriptive, but that could just be my prejudice showing, as the Elder has reminded.

One thing that still bothers me about Japanese is the use of personal pronouns. It's much easier to use my own name when describing myself, even if it does make me sound like I'm speaking in the third person. Xian-Pu is my name, after all, and I'm very proud of it, so why shouldn't I speak it with authority? It leaves no doubt in anyone's mind to whom I'm referring, and it's enough trouble for me to concentrate on using the right words when forming a sentence.

Suffice it to say that there is no exact equivalent in Japanese for the term "This One," which is considered the proper form of self-address when speaking to strangers or Elders. I use Xian-Pu or This One instead of the words for "I" and "me", which is how you will see me write it when I speak my own lines, much as I have seen Nabiki describe herself by using the word for "me" in her journal.

My Great Grandmother has told me many times that I must think and speak in Japanese if I am to master their language. I will probably attempt to write in Japanese once I get a better hang on their pictograms. I wonder if I should try practicing in that other foreign language my mother once showed me called English? Not that I have any intent of traveling to the other side of the world anytime soon, but she has said that it was much more linguistically simple.

Okay, down to the basic facts. I've accompanied my husband and co-wife on their training session in the mountains outside Nerima…although to call these piddling foothills "Mountains" would be like calling an anthill a mountain. There's really nothing in Japan to compare with the mountains that we have back home, not even their sacred Mount Fuji. Still, Japan is fairly mountainous country, I am told, so I suppose the people here just make up with abundance what they lack in stature, but again this is taking me way off the subject. I'd really rather talk about our training.

This morning's practice session was certainly a surprise when Nabiki toppled our husband unexpectedly. I think the shock was nearly as great for her as me since she locked up her knees, which caused her to momentarily pass out. Fortunately Mother taught me to recognize the signs in advance, so I caught her before she hit the ground and eased her over to a log where she could rest and recover from her surprise. I think our husband was almost as badly stunned, because the last thing any of us expected was for Nabiki-who admittedly is the weakest of the three of us-to take him down, and with such ease that it almost seemed to lack effort.

The only one who was not surprised, of course, was our Elder, Lo-Xion. The Esteemed Lore Master was merely insistent that we wait for Nabiki to revive before continuing with our lessons. She is very strange, like most of the younger Lore Masters that I have known-which admittedly are few at that since they are very rare and mysterious, seldom flaunting their talents. I think Aunt Silk might have understood her motivations, but not one as ignorant in their arts as this one. All I care is that Nabiki did revive very shortly, then permitted me to assist her in sitting up so that Lore Master Lo-Xion could continue with her lecture.

"As I was saying," the esteemed Elder continued, "Never underestimate your opponent. Just because Tendo-san here lacks your strength and training is no reason to believe that she could not pose a danger in a match. There is more to fighting than mere strength, and both of you young War Masters had well better learn this if you wish to survive to achieve your full potential."

Incidentally, I am translating this from Japanese, and I may from time-to-time make mistakes in translation. When the esteemed Elder speaks her words find a way of lodging in the brain, so one does not forget what she says so much as that I may have difficulty following all of the words that she uses. In a few places I am guessing what the Japanese word means based on the clues within the sentence. If I guess wrongly, then it is this one's humble error and not the fault of the Elder.

Anyway, to return to the lecture, Elder Lo-Xion asked me to demonstrate the use of tactics in overcoming a superior opponent. As I recall her saying, "From the dawn of civilization men and women have fought in wars to determine which of a people have the right to survival and land use. Always in the past victory went to the stronger side, the one that had the fiercest warriors with the best training. Sometimes it goes to the side with superior technology or firepower, but just as often it goes to the side that is the better prepared to achieve victory, and in the beginning that meant the side with the superior numbers.

"However, long ago in our past, the Amazons arose to take their place in the world. In the beginning of all things men and women were regarded as equals, but there came a day when horse-borne nomads called Aryans swept out of the east to threaten our ancestors, and because they had number and horses on their sides, along with curved bows made partially from the bones of animals, we had little chance of resisting. The men of one tribe chose to make a stand, however, gathering up all of their women and children and hiding them in caves until the crisis was over. They went out to face the enemy and were slaughtered to the youngest man-child old enough to carry a weapon. The enemy then mounted their heads on pikes and continued on in their rampages, laying waste to everything in their path on the way to the Mediterranean Ocean.

"The women of the village emerged from their caves and saw the carnage of this slaughter. Then there was great weeping among the survivors as sons and daughters lamented their loss. All seemed bleak for the tribe, for the crops in their fields had been laid waste so that even a crow could find no sustenance, and it looked as though starvation would be their lot, a horror that would finish the work begun by the barbarian invaders.

"Then She came in answer to our prayers, the Shining One known as Hippolyta, the daughter of the Gods of War and Love, Ares and Aphrodite, who was drawn to our plight from her home on Mount Olympus. She and her six warrior sisters gathered up the tribe and taught them how to survive, organized and led them into battle against their neighbors as they united other tribes to their banner, then founded the Matriarchy with Hippolyta as our leader…"

While the Elder was saying all of this I was assisting her by making the gestures and dance-like steps that were often used in teaching lessons for the very young. It had been years since I had been called upon to perform these arts of ritualized storytelling, but as I recognized the legend that the esteemed Elder was describing I thought it best to help out by offering a visual accompaniment, taking on first the part of our ancient ancestors, then the murderous outlanders, and finally assuming the role of the sacred Mother of all Amazons herself while my husband and wife looked on in amazement. That encouraged me as I knew that they were mostly ignorant of our legends, and it was my duty as their wife to explain these things so that they would at least know as much as any infant of the Joketsuzoku.

"Hippolyta was a just and wise ruler, entrusting the care of the people and the preservation of our arts to the Lore Masters of their day. This was about four thousand years ago, by current reckoning, and being an Immortal, Hippolyta lived a long and prosperous life. She made the first deal with neighboring tribes so that our women could have husbands to lay with and beget children. Women assumed the positions of dominance over all aspects of our society while men were taught to respect their wives and mind their place, securing the household and helping to care for the children. This is still done today, centuries after our last Great Queen fell in battle fighting the Mongols, who had allied with our enemies of the Musk Dynasty. No Queen has ruled in Joketsuzoku for many generations, and the reasons for this are both political and complex and thus do not concern matters at hand and so will be saved for another lecture.

"Suffice to say that the Amazon nation grew strong and dominated the region north of Anatolia between the Caspian and Black Seas, keeping our borders strong with horse-borne archers who could shoot arrows through the eyes of a bird at over a hundred paces. No enemy could resist us, no force on land could oppose our armies. The Amazons perfected many of their greatest techniques in those days as we worshipped the Mother Goddess in her many aspects and came to believe that our way was the best of any civilized peoples on the Earth.

"But then came the Greeks, those arrogant, preening descendants of the barbarians who had first ravaged our homeland. They disputed the borders of Amazon territories, threatened out trade routes to the Hittite realms with their piracy and then began sending their so-called heroes to trouble us over successive generations. The first was Bellerophon, the mortal who mastered the great winged horse, Pegasus, and who allied with the Bird People to harry us from the land now known as Thebes in imitation of a great Egyptian city by the same name. Following him was the god Dionyseus, who it was said wanted Amazon held lands to grow his sacred vineyards-as much for the wine as for a place to have his followers, the Maenads (who were themselves renegade Amazons) roam freely within. So it was that the Amazons were forced once again to yield land that they had held for generations. This was far from the last indignity, of course, for when a Theban prince named Herakles appeared on the scene it became clear that the Greeks were a threat that we would have to deal with through other means than force of arms.

"So it was that the Lore Master of this time advised Queen Hippolyta not to war with the boatload of strangers who appeared upon their shores one day as Herakles was fulfilling his Ninth Labor of atonement and would not be balked in his destiny. Hippolyta recognized Herakles for an honored kinsman and welcomed him into the holy city of Themiscrya. She intended to give him the sacred Girdle of Ghea that he had come for, but her real interest in the man-god hardly needs anyone's tongue for elaboration.

"A union between them, however, was not to be as the jealous goddess known as Hera stirred up trouble between the Greeks and the Amazons. The Athenian Prince Theseus convinced one of Hippolyta's sisters to elope with him, which added further fuel to the fire, the upshot being that many Amazons overruled Hippolyta and declared war upon the Athenians. That war ended very badly as the few who left for war returned in defeat with the news that Princess Antiope had been killed fighting on the Greek side and that her son was now the heir to the throne of Athens.

"The final straw came with the fall of the Hittite city of Troy, which opened the way for the Greek raiders to ravage the coastline and disrupt trade entirely throughout the Anatolian region. The Hittite Empire began a slow and steady collapse, weakening our borders even further to new threats from all sides. It was plain that the Amazons could no longer hold onto their Empire, and at a great enclave it was decided that they should seek a new home for refuge.

"The problem was that different camps had their own notions of where to go, and no one side had the unanimous backing of the full council. It was decided that the nation would be divided with different groups following their own leader. Hippolyta led her followers into the mists of time and vanished from the pages of history. Those who traveled east became the Nyanchiczu and founded a smaller empire, of which Joketsuzoku is one of the last remaining outposts. We have preserved the history of our culture for the past three thousand years, and in no small part the Lore Masters have been the cause of our culture's continuing survival.

"Now you three are a part of that history, one by birth and the other two by adoption. It is best that you learn our ways, whether or not your path leads back to my homeland. There is much that you should know, and what Elder Cologne and I have to teach you will be of great benefit to your future. It may seem strange to you now, and you will likely feel imposed upon and pressured to conform to our ways, but in the end I think you will agree that the results are worth the sacrifices demanded of you."

So said the Elder Lore Master of the Joketsuzoku.

My husband was, of course, not content to sit still and reflect on that as he arched an eyebrow and said, "Sacrifices?"

"Nothing you need be concerned about just yet, boy," the esteemed Elder smiled at him, "At present you are technically not even my student. You are the Matriarch's disciple, and it will be for her to decide the nature of your training."

"Nothing doing!" my husband rose to his feet with an angry glare, "No offense, lady, but I'll decide my own way! I'm not letting anybody push me into becoming whatever it is they think I ought to be! If I wanted to put up with that I'd just stick with my old man…"

"As you say," the elder continued to smile as if unconcerned by his protests, "But humor me for a bit, dear boy. I think there is one lesson that I can give to you that will help you defeat this Ryoga and thwart the attempts by the Matriarch to impose her will upon you."

"Yeah?" my husband asked as if unconcerned by the offer, but I could tell from the glance in his beautiful blue eyes that he was considering it just the same.

"Xian-Pu will demonstrate," Elder Lo-Xion informed us, which I knew perfectly well meant that I should get ready and perform exactly as she instructed me next as she said, "Though we Amazons believe that we have been the source of much of the teaching now known as the Warrior Arts, we have studied the advances of great military minds, be they Chinese or Outlander. Take, for example, the Macedonian known as Phillip, who pioneered a technique on the battlefield that was further refined by his son, the Great Alexander. As I said before, strength is not always the key to victory in battle. Two centuries before Philip, the Greeks discovered that they could use a tactic known as the square to overcome an opponent."

The elder nodded toward me and I at once assumed a crouch known as "The Square" in Amazon teaching. It consists of spreading the legs wide apart like in the classic Horse Stance, only with the feet pointed forward in parallel lines with the hands bent at regular angles with palms extended out to the sides as though one were pushing against a box-like enclosure.

"The Square consisted of a row of ten men in ten rows, forming a hundred warriors who were each armed with very long spears that would be extended like the quills of a hedgehog. In their language this square was known as the Phalanx. By directing their spears in a given direction, the front four rows would form a solid line of lethal thrusts that could be marched in a single direction against an enemy. The other six rows would be held in reserve with their spears raised skyward. If the man before them fell the next in line would take his place and bring his spear into position, thus ensuring their offensive would be firm in spite of losses. If necessary, the front lines of spears would be raised and the whole column could be turned about through precision formation and constant drill, allowing them to turn and threaten an opponent to the side in a matter of mere seconds."

As the Elder described this I brought my hands into the position of the Snake-fist while still pointed away from my body. I made simultaneous side-thrusts with the tips of my fingers, then curled them down to my sides and thrust out forward again as if striking an opponent before me. I then pivoted on one heel and turned my body about to confront a foe to one side, then did a one-legged pivot and struck at imagined foes to the opposite side, then to the rear of my original position.

"The Athenian Greeks used this phalanx to overcome an invasion by the numerically superior forces of the Persian King, Darius, using a force of only twenty thousand highly trained infantry to destroy an army many times their number. The Persians had lighter arms, were far less organized and did not expect to be met by a foe with better armor and superior tactics, and so they fell due as much to their own lack of preparation as the strength of Athenian tactics. It was Philip who later refined the use of the phalanx and discovered an even more powerful use for the chariot, combined it with the use of cavalry, then developed a use for the Shield Wall that became known as "The Arrow." It consists of warriors forming a suicidal wedge to thrust into the ranks of an enemy phalanx, cutting through the middle of an opposing line to divide and conquer."

As the Elder said this I was busy following her clues to perform a simple series of katas that illustrated the points that she was raising. By advancing forward while keeping my feet moving in the fashion of a square I thrust at and pecked at the defenses of an imaginary foe, then used the flats of my palms to push them away from me until they would have-in principle-been off balance and at my mercy. At the mention of The Arrow, however, I brought my hands to my sides once again then pushed them forward as if reaching out to tear through an imaginary silk barrier, bringing my hands up in a parting motion as though I were separating rice paper. I caught a glance of my husband watching me with an intense focus and felt enormously pleased to be performing for him, though I suspect that my lesson was as much aimed towards Nabiki.

"The Arrow proved to be the dominant offensive style for many years," the Elder continued, "But in time a way was found to counter it by those garlic-eating sandal jockeys known to history as the Romans. They discovered that the way to overpower the Arrow was to absorb it into their ranks then flank the edges and wear it down to almost nothing. To do this they developed their own unique version of the Square, which consisted of box-like rows where a group of one hundred men was separated from the next group by a space as on a Checkerboard, which is something like the basis for the game of Shogi that your fathers practice."

I at once assumed the form of the Open Square, which to some might seem like the basic square revised, only this time I moved my hands to part the way for an imagined thrust, then brought them together as if containing the arm aimed at my head. I rolled back and threw my imagined foe then regained my footing once again and assumed a crouch of readiness, as if to perform the maneuver all over.

"The Romans went on to dominate their portion of the world after that," the Elder said, "And so it went for many successive generations until they met an enemy that was far more skilled on horse who could move swiftly to outflank them. They met their match in the form of the Huns, who were masters of the bow and virtually lived on horseback like our Amazon ancestors. The name for this attack is therefore known as The Bow, which depends on swiftness and surprise to thrust around and behind an enemy's advances."

I made a motion with my body as if dancing around outside the reach of an attacker, then I made a false-thrust offensive, only to leap high and come down with a Dragon Stamp kick that would have gone over and around an imaginary opponent's defenses.

"Sometimes it is better to chip away at a foe rather than attempt to overwhelm them in one great offensive," the Elder continued, "Staying clear of an enemy's attacks, you can strike at him repeatedly and goad him to making a mistake that will hand you the advantage. It is not always necessary that you be stronger or tougher than your foe as speed grants you some measure of invulnerability. An enemy who cannot touch you can do you no damage, just so long as you are careful and do not stumble at an awkward moment."

I made the dancing-weaving motions once again of dodging an invisible foe, then all at once launched into an Amaguriken strike with a hundred blows being delivered to empty air, only to pull back again and resume my weaving defenses all over. When I attacked again I used lightning kicks to disable the opponent that should have been there, then stepped back again and once more resumed weaving.

"Lastly there is the Circle," Lo Xion resumed, "A technique developed by the Turks when facing the Crusaders in the great battle that won back their 'Holy land' from invading Europeans. The Turks recognized that the German and Frankish knights who opposed them were stronger warriors in their heavy armor and piercing weapons, so rather than meet them head-on they used cunning to lure the enemy into committing themselves too far beyond their own defenses. By falling back in seeming retreat they lured the enemy cavalry into a reckless charge that took it well beyond the reach of their infantry support, only the Arabs wheeled about and surprised their pursuers, flanking the cavalry and overwhelming them from all sides, making use of their shorter curved swords to cut the horses of the Knights out from underneath them while finding each and every chink in their armor. Thus was a mighty foe rendered helpless as the bear might fall prey to the sparrow guarding its nest."

The Wheel was a bit more complex than the other techniques, but I had little difficulty demonstrating for my beloveds how to lure an opponent into an assault, only to turn my body about like a wheel so that a punch would glide past me while I got inside the enemy's defenses and took full advantage of my closer reach. I punched and kicked savagely before spinning away again, dancing about then coming in again with my body sliding around and behind an opponent to attack them from the rear. I did this several times before the Elder called a halt to the lesson then informed us casually that it was time for the making of breakfast.

I could tell that my husband was greatly impressed with the lecture and was thinking about it while Nabiki and I went about readying some steamed rice and hot ramen. I was coaching my wife in the arts of dinner preparation as it has never been her great interest to learn about such things before her engagement to our husband. She listened carefully to my instructions and did very well for a relative novice while I stole glances at Ranma and smiled, seeing him stand off from us a ways while making all sorts of motions as if to incorporate the lecture to his own formidable war craft.

When breakfast was ready we all shared the feast, being certain that Ranma and the Elder were served first before dishing up for ourselves, and I could tell with amusement that both of my airen were heartily famished. Ranma ate three times as much as an average male of our village while Nabiki took her time eating twice her normal ration, resisting the temptation to wolf her food down like our husband while I enjoyed several compliments from them on the quality of my cooking.

"This is great," my husband said between mouthfuls, "You sure are a good chef, Xian-Pu."

"A lot better than me," our wife said modestly, "At least I know how to boil noodles without frying the edges."

"You are not so bad," I remarked, "You should take lessons from your nice sister. She cooks almost as good as this one's father."

"Your father?" my husband blinked, "Don't you mean my mother?"

I had to laugh at that before I said, "This one's mother could not cook a meal to save a village of starving infants. Cooking is considered man's work in Joketsuzoku, and this one's father is very skilled. This one learned most of what she knows from her father, and from my great grandmother, who also knows something about cooking."

"Your father is a chef?" my wife smiled while our husband looked puzzled, then she gave him a wry look and added, "Well, why not? They say the best Chefs of Europe are men, not that I can believe that there's anybody who cooks as good as Kasumi."

"So your dad cooks for your mom?" our husband asked and I nodded.

"This one's father cooks and cleans house," I replied, "This one used to help him when she was little, then when she went to live with her great grandmother this one practiced every day doing the work that would normally belong to a man. Great Grandmother insisted that this one learn to keep house, even though it seems very strange to this one that we never had a man come to live with us who could have performed such menial service."

"And your mother can't cook?" our husband said before shaking his head and murmuring, "Weird."

"Not so weird, Ranma-kun," Nabiki smiled at him before adding, "Akane can't cook either. She's a real menace inside the kitchen, which is one reason why Dad and me won't let her anywhere near it. Good thing she's such a tomboy that she probably thinks that cooking is beneath her."

"I suppose," Ranma shrugged, "But I wonder if she plans to have Ryoga cook for her? Just how bad is she?"

"Bad enough to burn water," Nabiki replied, "I won't even describe what she can do an innocent pot of rice."

"Oh come on," Ranma chuckled, "She can't be that bad, can she?"

Our wife just shook her head and said, "Ranma…Akane confuses salt with sugar, thinks vinegar is white wine and mixes up baking soda with ordinary flour. I call her condition Kitchen Dyslexia, the inability to read simple instructions and confuse labels. She also has this annoying tendency to add ingredients that aren't needed, and she experiments around when she can't even do the simple stuff without creating a lethal combination. The last time she tried to bake something for a home economics class it exploded!"

"You're kidding, right?" our husband asked with a note that I think sounded hopeful.

"I'm not kidding," Nabiki shook her head, "If she were cooking something now we'd all need to go into detox rehab, but for some reason the only one who hasn't given up on her is Kasumi. She thinks Akane should learn to cook as part of her bridal training," my wife rolled her eyes before adding, "As if my little sister could do anything domestic without creating a total disaster!"

"Xian-Pu," Elder Lotion spoke up, "I know that you mean well, but you must admit that your mother is at least skilled in the brewing of medicines. She is a fine apothecary…when Ha-Brus manages to convince her not to use a Bunsen burner to brew tea…"

"Ha-Brus?" my husband inquired, looking very odd as he pronounced my father's name with an odd accent, "Your Pop's name is Hairbrush?"

I nodded and said, "Ha-Brus was outsider who came to village many year ago, trained in Beijing. He came to the Amazons to help them during one of the periodic so-called economic reforms the Chinese Government goes through every so often. He was assigned to fix our water pump, and somehow he gained the interest of this one's mother, even though he was not a very good martial artist at the time…"

"What?" Nabiki said with a start, "Your father was only average?"

"Barely adequate for an Amazon male," I replied, "He fights much better these days and works out with this one's mother whenever she is back from her travels. This one's mother is tribal Healer, you see, and she is always in demand with other villages surrounding us…"

"How did your Pop beat your mom?" my husband asked in obvious surprise, "Wasn't she, like, a better fighter?"

"Oh yes," I nodded affirmative, "This one's mother was very good, as good as Shampoo at her age, trained by Great Grandmother herself. There is no way this one's father could have physically defeated her mother, but there are other ways to lose to outsiders," I added with a smile in Nabiki's direction.

"Uh…how is that?" my wife hesitated, and I think I caught her blushing.

"Very simple," I replied, "They played a game of chess and this one's father defeated her mother."

"CHESS?" both of my Airen replied in the same astonished tone of voice as I smiled before continuing.

"It's a very good game to help a warrior develop strategy. Chinese version has different rules from Western Chess, but this one's father taught her to play both kinds, and he was much better than this one's mother. She lost to him maybe twenty or thirty times straight before Great Grandmother declared that this one's father was indeed the victor. That is how this one's parents got married. Odd thing, though, is that this one's mother seems very happy about her marriage. This one never heard her complain about it, even when her parents fight, which is sometimes, or make up, which is loud and often. This one hears more about it than sees them fight, though, and this one has never really spent that much time with her parents in any event, but they always seem to be very happy."

"Why didn't you spend time with your folks if they live with you in the same village?" Ranma asked.

"Because this one lives with her great grandmother," I sighed, contemplating one of the great mysteries of my life, and I could hardly blame my airen for his confusion, "This one does not know why, only that she train with Great Grandmother from the time she was little. This one only sees her parents around the village, and she has two sisters now, both twins, whom this one would like to know much better," I sighed, feeling slightly depressed as I thought about my sisters.

My wife is a very clever person, not to mention very beautiful, and she has a way of looking at things that made me know almost from the beginning that she was a potential Lore Master. She eyed me as I began to feel sad and asked, "Is there a reason why your parents let you be trained by your great grandmother?"

I nodded, "Because this one is being groomed to become a tribal leader, possibly the next matriarch of our village."

I heard the Elder laugh for some reason and we all turned to her as she remarked, "Cologne just wants to find somebody who can fill her shoes, as it were. I think she wants to retire while she's still young, or something like that."

"I don't get it," Ranma said as he looked at me in a very curious way, "Is this what you want, Xian-Pu? To become a leader of your people?"

I was little off-balance at that question and I looked away before I answer, "This one…does not wish to become leader. It was never my choice, I never had any say in it. This one only wants to become a strong warrior and a good wife to her airen…that and have lots of babies," I smiled warmly at the thought of children, then I continued, "Being leader mean this one becomes responsible for everyone in our village. This one…I don't like the idea of everyone being that dependent on me, as they are for my great grandmother. She's given her whole life to the village, but I don't think I could follow her example. This one only wants to have a family, not become supreme Elder of the Joketsuzoku."

"And there is no reason why should be burdened by such a choice at such a tender young age," the Elder remarked, "It is cruelty that Cologne expects to mold you in her likeness, as if that were such a great thing by itself," she snorted, "Besides, there's a much better candidate who actually wants the job who is the same exact age as yourself…"

"You mean Puke?" I asked, adding a tone of venom as I said this.

"Puke?" my husband and wife said together, and I smiled a bit before the Elder gently reprimanded me.

"I wouldn't use that disrespectful nick-name for one who may become the future leader of our tribe," the esteemed Elder reminded me, "Ambergris can hardly be blamed for her mother's error, so you should at least practice calling her Am-Bur. You wouldn't like it if people made fun of your name, as some have done behind your back, or said that disrespectful jest at my great granddaughter, Ka-Chu."

"Ka-Chu?" my husband asked.

"Geisunteit," Nabiki replied, or something that sounded like that, some Japanese word I have never been able to look up, I suppose.

"How does a name like Ambergris get turned into Puke?" my husband tried again.

"Ambergris is whale puke, Ranma-chan," Nabiki smiled sweetly, and I felt warm inside knowing that she got the joke I had told about she who was my greatest betrayer.

"Oh," Ranma replied, then changed the subject back to his original question, "Why don't you just refuse to go along with this, Xian-Pu? The old mummy can't force you to become a leader if you don't want to."

"Ranma," I sighed, "Nobody refuses my great grandmother. You've already seen a little bit of what she can do if you cross her. This one has no desire to remain stuck in cat form for the rest of her days, so if Elder says this one is to become leader…" I sighed before finishing, "Then I have no choice but to accept the fact that I will be leader."

"That's ridiculous!" Nabiki protested.

"It is the Amazon way," I replied, "Traditions are very important in our culture. They have kept us together for many generations. This one has no right to go against tradition…even if she wants to."

"We'll see about that," the Elder smiled before turning to Ranma and adding, "I think it's time you wake up your father and resume your training. It is only a few days away until your contest with Ryoga."

My husband heaved a sigh then said, "Man, this sucks! I'd swear those wasps are beginning to like my flavor or something…"

"Hello!" a voice called out, surprising me and everyone else as we turned to see a figure stumbling through the clearing making hardly any more noise than a pregnant yak, "Is anybody here? Ranchan!"

"Ucchan?" my husband asked as he returned the call of the cross-dresser. I felt my spine arch a little and I noticed that Nabiki's face stiffened. My wife is very good at hiding her emotions, but I could tell by looking that she was just as displeased as I was at the sudden appearance of the one named Ukyo Kuonji.

"Ranchan," the cross-dressing pervert girl said as she came closer to where we could see her in the morning light, "That old woman was right…I just had to follow my nose and it lead me right to you. Smells like somebody's been cooking rice and noodles."

"Xian-Pu was just fixing us some breakfast," Ranma said, sounding entirely too pleased at meeting the girl he was somehow mistaking for a boy, which did nothing to improve my feelings on the matter, "Nabiki helped out. There's a little bit left if you want it."

"No thanks," she smiled, "I'll stick to okonomiyaki. In fact, I brought some of my own ingredients with me in my backpack. I'll whip you guys up some lunch so you don't have to live entirely on a diet of rice and ramen."

"That'd be great!" Ranma cheered while I suddenly felt like breaking something in my frustration, and I'm pretty sure Nabiki was also eyeing the pervert chef like the only thing we wanted to see roasting over an open fire wasn't okonomiyaki…

Shampoo looked up, seeing Nabiki at her shoulder glancing curiously at her writing. Shampoo had the sudden urge to close the book shut, but since the ink on the page had not yet dried she knew that would only serve to smudge it, so instead she said, "Ah…Nabiki? You want something, Shampoo Airen?"

"I was just…surprised is all," she replied, "Well, curious, really. I didn't know you kept a journal."

Shampoo felt herself blush then said, "Just start. Shampoo get idea from…somebody very close who seem like writing in book when no sit in front of computer. It very good way to get mind in focus."

"Yeah, tell me about it," Nabiki sat down beside the Amazon and said, "Want to read some of it to me? I noticed that it's all in Chinese…"

Shampoo resistant an urge to throw the thing into their campfire then said, "Ah, it no very interesting, just thing Shampoo think about…"

Nabiki chuckled then said, "Okay, I get the point! I just wanted you to know what it feels like. I mean, it's hardly fair, you prying into my secrets while not giving me the same chance."

"Ah…" Shampoo glanced off into the distance and did not elaborate.

"That's something I've been meaning to ask," Nabiki frowned, "How did you learn to read kanji anyway? I didn't think that they taught Hiragana in Joketsuzoku."

"Oh," Shampoo shifted slightly, "Learn that from Kasumi. Nabiki sister very helpful, show Shampoo books she have for Japanese to Chinese translation. Also she read to cat on lap when think it just harmless…"

"What?" Nabiki laughed, then sobered and said, "Sounds just like Kasumi. Sometimes I wonder if she's really as spaced out as she acts most of the time…"

"She very nice girl," Shampoo remarked, eyeing Nabiki coyly, "Remind Shampoo of other girl in village, only she no very much like her."

"Huh?" Nabiki blinked, "She reminds you of Kasumi but she's not very much like her?"

Shampoo nodded, "Ka-Chu, she Elder Lotion great granddaughter. Same age as Kasumi, but very different. She behave like warrior, only she train in different manner…"

"Is she also a Lore Master, like me?" Nabiki asked.

"No," Shampoo replied, "Ka-Chu mother Lore Master, Ka-Chu is trained Spiritualist, study technique of fighting Devils, very powerful Devil Hunter."

"Devil Hunter Ka-Chu, huh?" Nabiki smiled, "She must get teased an awful lot with a name like that."

Shampoo nodded, "That why everybody but Shampoo call her Amaguriken, like Japanese words for Chestnut Fist."

"Amaguriken?" Nabiki raised her eyebrows, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but that's got way too many syllables for an Amazon name, right?"

"Hai," Shampoo nodded, "But it good nick name. Lore Master Silk once go to Japan, come back with child, never say much to Shampoo about father…"

Nabiki suddenly stiffened, "She's half Japanese? And the same age as Kasumi?"

"Yes," Shampoo blinked, "Why you so upset, Nabiki? Did Shampoo say wrong thing?"

"Oboy," Nabiki murmured, "I just got the strangest feeling…Daddy is going to have to do some explaining when we get back home, after this business with Ryoga is over."

"Oh," Shampoo replied, then her eyebrows climbed and she really started to think about that…

Continued

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