Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Tale of Two Wallets ❯ A Pearl of Infinite Price ( Chapter 72 )

A Tale of Two Wallets

(An Altered Destiny)

Written by Jim Robert Bader

Proofread by Shiva Barnwell

Nabiki's Journal Resumes:

Don't ask me how she did it but only a few steps away from my family we suddenly found ourselves on a remote section of beachfront totally devoid of other people. Things like this seem to happen a lot around Lotion, and I've pretty much gotten used to it, or rather stopped paying too much significance to sudden scene changes…(though I would like to know how she was able to even find a deserted spot like that in the middle of Tokyo harbor!)

She began things pleasantly enough with a casual, "How are you coping, child, with news of Shampoo's recent condition?"

"Uh…" I also didn't bother asking how she could be so up on current events after having spent the better part of a week bed-ridden, those nocturnal visits of hers to my dreams having provided us ample room for idle chit-chat. Since it seems to me at times as if the old woman really does know everything, I decided to be truthful, "To be frank I'm a bit stunned…I thought we could at least enjoy a few weeks more of nightly activity before something like this could happen. I mean…it's only two weeks to go until Ranma and me…"

At that point I did not and could not continue. Every time I say the word "married" in relation to my iinazuke I tend to get real silly and flustered. Didn't seem necessary to say it aloud either, what with the way I'm sure my cheeks were turning crimson, as if there was something more significant to formalizing the act of being Ranma's wife that two solid weeks of bed play had yet to provide! I guess mainly I'm just real uptight on the formalizing part, that being something that used to mean a lot to Kasumi…before my usually uptight sister became Kodachi's own bed partner!

"You'll get used to the idea in time," the old woman reassured me, though whether she meant Shampoo's pregnancy or my becoming Ranma's official wife was not immediately apparent from her statement, "Life has a habit of throwing the unexpected in the way just to see what sort of reaction might be obtained. If things remained predictable and orderly it would be a far less interesting place, which brings us to the topic of today's lesson, of course…the difference between Orderly and Random behavior."

I had a mental flash of Akane representing both aspects with her life. On the one hand my younger sister can be fastidious and keep a neater room even than I could, much to the relief of dear Kasumi…but on the other hand she can be the singularity at the eye of a hurricane, as best represented by her futile attempts in the kitchen.

"Okay," I said, "So we're talking Order and Chaos, right?"

"Not precisely," the old woman replied in that annoying tendency of hers to sound ambivalent when giving a straight answer, "Those two represent different degrees of the same thing, and both are aspects of Entropy, the finite system by which energy is conserved within a system. On the one hand Order is the tendency to organize intro logical, categorical, easily defined sets and subsets of energy and matter. The degree to which something is orderly, even fixed, determines its basic structure, whether a molecule of water is in a gaseous, liquid or solid state, which I'm sure you can agree made a good deal of significant impact with the Titanic."

"Right," I agreed, having been neatly sunk on that issue, "And Chaos isn't the total absence of order?"

"Goodness no," she replied, "Chaos may seem like the formless state of primal creation, but there is order to everything, and in Chaos you have strong attractors that inhibit the degree of random behavior. The Laws of the Universe govern a particle of hydrogen whether it is in an attached or detached state, whether in a state of flux or fixed as a solid molecule of ice just a few degrees above absolute zero. Do you think it matters to the hydrogen atom what goes on in its neighborhood? It still remains what it is, regardless of the conditions."

I wasn't going to complain that she was once again dragging Chemistry and Physics into a lecture on Metaphysics, mainly because I had already been chastised with the reminder that all the sciences began with the Natural Philosophers, who observed the behavior of energy and matter over a number of generations before founding the Western ideas of modern science. Lotion tends to remind me a little too much that the root core of her philosophy is something much older that goes back to the dawn of recorded history, if not a good deal older.

"Okay," I said, "So we start with the basic building blocks and work on from there, right? Same rules apply to everything, regardless of the complexity of its structure."

She rewarded me with one of her patented smiled that made me felt like I had been patted on the head and given a dog biscuit. She continued forward until the two of us were close enough to the waves that they were almost lapping against our ankles, "What do you see before you, Tendo-san? An infinite and open horizon or a collection of atomic particles interacting in one huge, fluid molecular structure?"

I was wise to her verbal trap this time and said, "The whole is greater than the sum of the parts, so I would have to say it all depends on how you look at it, right?"

"Exactly," she replied, then with a sudden motion of her staff she struck an approaching wave and froze it in mid-motion.

I have to admit that I gaped in mute astonishment at that casual display of her power, even though I was growing more used to seeing the old woman perform near-miracles with casual indifference to the word "impossible" that might be commonly associated with same. The wave was a good fifteen meters away from us but it stood absolute still, not like a block of ice but more like a sculpture made of acrylic, glistening and smooth on the surface but containing the energy of motion in the shape of its contours. There seemed to be no reason why it would be hanging motionless like this when a few seconds beforehand it was about to make contact with the shoreline.

"I have just subtracted one of the elements that govern all nature," the old woman replied, "Can you tell which one it is?"

I glanced around to make certain that time itself had not been halted, and sure enough I caught sight of a seagull that was wafting along on a breeze, perfectly unaffected. The phenomenon only seemed to apply to the one area of water directly before us, so I turned and stared at the frozen sculpture before saying the obvious, "Motion?"

"No," she smiled, "That is merely a side-effect. It is Randomness that I have removed from the system. The molecules are fixed in their position, having no where else that they can go, they sit still and remain as they are, and even the force of a hurricane could not propel them forward. But if I restore the normal rules of entropy…like this," she pointed with her staff again, and the wave returned to full motion, crashing down on the surf and moving the sand about as if nothing had truly been altered.

"Randomness," I said in what I think was a fairly level tone of voice, betraying little of my surprise, "You mean like Chaos Theory?"

"No," she replied, "Not even like Quantum theory, though I suppose that there are a few analogies that could be drawn to that since it is the potential energy of change itself that was briefly suspended. It all depends on how you view a thing and what elements you choose to work with. Reality itself is in a very plastic state that is subject to change through observation, and what is often observed is more the result of a thousand interacting forces working in perfect balance to create a pattern of stability. It helps to know that this balance can be affected in a number of ways, as you will learn to do when you have accepted the responsibility for working with the Power."

"Responsibility?" I replied, wondering when I had ever qualified as a responsible person.

"At the risk of sounding droll and earning a copyright suit," she began, "With any great power there comes a corresponding responsibility in knowing when and how to employ it. Knowledge is our power, and our ability to interact with the forces that surround us makes us very responsible for any actions that we may take, whether of omission or commission. Not to act is the same thing as acting irresponsibly in certain situations…what is needed is the wisdom to know when to stand aside and allow events to occur as they are, and when to act decisively to affect the overall balance."

"Right," I murmured softly, "I think I got that much this time…"

"Do you?" she seemed amused as she glanced at me, then turned back to the shoreline and said, "I wonder if you truly know what it means to be responsible for safeguarding the lives of those around us. A Lore Master projects the wisdom of the ages, and we are the guardians of the ancient knowledge that we embody. It is a terrifying thing to know so much and to be able to do so little…for with the ability to interact with nature comes the understanding that we are not as gods and cannot willy nilly tamper with events to suit our preferences and longings. It is rather like knowing how to affect the course of mighty rivers and yet daring not to intervene with the way water flows across the landscape. Civilization in China began when the first Emperors tried to tame the Yellow River to serve the needs of agriculture, the net result of which is thousands of years of tampering that have quite recently earned a backlash in the form of floods and famine."

"Uh…right," I agreed, having read in the news how the mainland had, in recent years, suffered some massive ecological problems that were affecting the rice harvests and turning the government there into a Rice Importer to make up for the shortfall. I was also reminded of a number of rivers throughout the globe that had recently rebelled against the attempts by Man to redirect their flow, and I began to form a tentative understanding of what the old woman was trying to tell me.

I heard Lotion heave a sigh and glanced at her with concern, seeing the wistfulness in her expression, "I a way our knowledge is a double edged sword that cuts both ways. We in the Qing Hi province have endured the overlordship of the Beijing government out of political necessity, but they rule us in name only. The Communists have attempted many times to dictate policies in our region, and for the most part we have largely resisted and maintained our old traditions…yet one day it is certain that there will be trouble between us and some of the local Commissars. It cannot have escaped their notice by now that the Nyanchiczu, alone of all tribes in the region, never suffer as much of the ravages as other regions, due in no small part to the efforts of we Lore Masters. Our relative prosperity and wealth will inevitably breed resentments that, in times long past, have led to discord. Communism is inherently backwards leaning and inefficient, but it serves as a political philosophy the needs of a power-hungry few who have grown much accustomed to the authority they derive from the old order."

"Is that why you want Ambergris to be the new Matriarch after Cologne?" I asked, "Because she can handle these changes and isn't as much bound by tradition?"

"You understand completely," Lotion nodded without glancing my way, "Save that I do not relish foisting such responsibilities on the child when she is still in the act of growing into her position. Amber contains many positive traits that will one day make her into a great leader. For now she must rise slowly through the ranks and cultivate alliances with the various houses and clans that link the Joketzusoku to other Amazon tribes of the region. It is my hope that she will not only become Matriarch but the first true Queen to govern us in over six hundred years since the Great Division. Other Matriarchs will look to her for counsel…but only if she is allowed the chance to grow up with time. After all, she is younger than you, no matter that she sometimes behaves as if she were much older."

"She's also abrasive, conniving, condescending and not a little bit conceited," I remarked, "She acts like she's smarter than everybody else around her…and she's probably right, too."

"You can see what I mean by a need for personal growth," Lotion sighed, "There are many hard lessons that life has yet to teach that one, and I pray that she will be afforded the chance to learn as the fate of our people rests upon her shoulders. I trust that you will be mindful of this in your dealings with her and counsel Shampoo to maintain their friendship, not make a potential lifelong enemy out of one who looks to her as almost a sister."

"Right," I nodded, figuring that much responsibility I could bear on my own shoulders, "Guess the future isn't determined just yet, eh? In a way…that's kind of scary."

"And well you should be concerned," Lotion turned away from the water and headed back towards drier sands, "But the future will take care of itself. You must live in the present and learn to judge the currents of the waters that surround you, not those that wait for you in the distance. Life itself will judge the outcome, you must be ready to cope with whatever changes you encounter."

"Okay," I said, "I'll buy that. Ambergris is important to the future of your people, so I guess I could try to get along with her…but something about her almost makes me feel uneasy."

"Go with your instincts," Lotion noted, "They will guide you, just as you may one day serve to guide as her conscience. Heaven knows the child feels isolated and alone as she is…rather a lot like a certain fellow of your acquaintance, no?"

"Ranma," I replied to her understated comment, "Somehow or other it always seems to come back to him…"

"And is that so surprising?" I caught the twinkling in her eyes, "He is, after all, a Nexus of realities, and where he turns so turns the universe. He too is fated to play a part in the destiny of our people."

I don't know why I found that last bit at all surprising, but it caused a slight chill to pass down my spine at the thought of what sort of adventures might await us as we grew more and more involved in the politics and destiny of Shampoo's people. The fact that a fair representation of her own tribe were now living in Nerima was enough that I sensed that the mischief we had been through was only the beginning

Lotion brought us to a halt at a sandy spot of beach that seemed unusually smooth and absent of the usual flotsam and jetsam that litters most beaches. She waited until I was paying full attention, then struck with the tip of her staff against the soil and caused an area roughly ten meters in diameter to jump in a circular area as though the spot were lined with explosives. She waited for the particles to settle, then in the ensuing silence said, "What did you just observe about the behavior of matter?"

I refrained from the comment that sprang readily to mind that her staff was obviously tipped with nitro and instead allowed myself a moment of reflection before replying, "Stuff went up and came down again…it all looks pretty random."

"Indeed," she noted, "Only more than you realize. There is a fundamental difference between liquid and solid matter, and an even greater difference when it comes to particulate matter. The more laws of cause and effect that determine how a single particle will behave become complex and fragmented when you allow more than one particle to interact together. The Randomness that can determine the spark of a single proton becomes infinitely complicated by the multiplicity of such variable attractors. The more individual particles you add to the equation, the more variables you have until the result becomes completely unpredictable, even by the finest mathematical equations."

"Uh…yeah," I said, "That kind of makes sense. So…how does this apply to anything else besides sand?"

"Gains of sand on a beach," she smiled, "You draw your own analogies from that one."

I felt like hitting myself for missing the obvious point that she was raising, and tried lamely to recover some shred of my dignity by saying, "In other words if you equate the grains of sand to people, then the more people you have to work with, the more random the circumstances."

"Exactly," she smiled in evident approval, "All these particles have the force of gravity working upon them, but where they land depends on how they interact while falling, and if you vibrate the sands with a precisely measured force…" she touched the tip of her staff again, only this time the effect was more subtle. I saw the grains of sand forming patterns that shifted at random intervals, rather like watching smoke in a closed chamber, only far more abstract, to which the old woman said, "You wind up with a more gradual version of the larger event. Each particle behaves as a distinct individual, and each individual human being behaves in a complex pattern governed by their individual natures."

"But still most people do have a few basic needs in common," I pointed out, "Doesn't that make them at least in some ways predictable?"

"Indeed they are," Lotion agreed, "All human beings have needs, wants and basic drives that govern their behavior, as well as a social-psychological dynamic that in each individual takes shape as their own personal dynamic. You, for example, tend to keep a focus on the material needs of your family and yourself, while Ranma seeks the perfection of his art, and Shampoo seeks to find domestic bliss you the both of you, her chosen life partners."

"Ah…" I colored again, thinking that Shampoo could be enormously demonstrative of her affections in that department.

"There are so many ways that human beings can interact together," Lotion mused, "Far too much potential there for any one universe to contain, and multiplied by the billions of souls who exist upon this world, as well as other worlds directly concerned here. A good thing the cosmos makes allowances for this multiplicity by exploring each option on a separate timeline…trillions of potential alternate worlds exactly like this one, only different in some small measure."

"Trillions?" my mind couldn't quite cope with a number like that unless it had a Yen sign in front of it, but I managed to say, "Doesn't that make things awfully crowded?"

"Fortunately most potential universes remain unmanifested realities or you really would have trouble differentiating one from the other," she answered, "Rather the number of Manifested realities is more finite, being determined by the sparks of light known as the Human Consciousness, the sum total of which are a billion, billion minds interacting together to determine which universe remains stable and which is destined to fade from existence. A billion choices made every second creates and maintains the world that we see all around us, and through observation of this reality is our fate determined. That's why is it so difficult to predict the future…far too many random elements could chance the course of what is to be into what might have been, but as time itself is only an illusion, it is the past that is fixed and determined. What has been is a part of you always, and no matter where you go you are grounded in the reality that determined your present. If this were not so then all of life would be totally random."

"Okay," I replied, having lost somewhere in the middle of this explanation, "So people are what make life complicated…they still have basic behavior patterns that should make them easier to predict, right?"

"A single individual might behave in a uniform manner," Lotion replied, "But dozens and even hundreds of people coming into close contact every day? It begins to form a more complex tapestry, which is why one can only generalize about the future by studying the larger events that govern our behavior."

"Right," I said, resigned to feeling dumb on this particular subject, "So…what exactly is the great moral lesson here? That you can't know the outcome of events based solely on the present?"

"Precisely," she smiled as if I had just won a prize for a perfect test score, "Consider this, if you will…the bedrock assumption of your present reality, that you and Saotome Ranma are fated to be together."

I must have colored at that one, it brought me back to thoughts of our impending marriage.

"But consider, if you will, what life would be like if this were not fated between you," the old woman continued with some delicacy, "What then would you life be like?"

"Huh?" I gaped at that one, "What do you mean if we're not fated to be together? Do you know something that I don't? Spit it out!"

I had not meant to speak that harshly with her, but she did not effect to seem at all ruffled by my vehemence, "I do not speak of what is or is to be, I speak of what might have been had circumstances been in any way different. Supposing your Ranma were not engaged to marry you, or the both of you to marry Shampoo. What if life had taken the three of you along a different path, one that did not lead to unity but to separate pathways?"

"How's that again?" I felt as if the ground were about to fall out from underneath my feet. Me not engaged to Ranma? Shampoo not our less-than-blushing Amazon bride? I could not conceive it, nor did I want to!

"Supposing…just for the sake of argument, mind you," she averred as if to reassure me, "That instead of engaging you to Ranma your parents had chosen instead to make his iinazuke either Kasumi or Akane?"

I almost laughed at that, but didn't because of the seriousness with which she asked the question. Ranma and Kasumi? That was pretty far-fetched! But Akane??? Oil and water mixed better than those two! I couldn't even form a mental picture of the nuptials…my sex-shy sister on her honeymoon night with my perpetually sex-innocent iinazuke…it was an even bet whether he'd even survive the night at her bedside!

"That's not too likely," I responded, "Ranma and Akane don't even like each other…I've never understood why since they have so much in common…"

"Such as?" the old woman smiled at me in a perverse manner.

"Well," I began, "Aside from martial arts, where Ranma is obviously superior, which Akane hates with a passion, they're both stubborn and willful with too much pride and too little good sense for their own good. Ranma has more on the ball than my sister…he can at least cook and sew, just not as good as Kasumi. Akane can't even boil water, but heaven help you if you should mention that to her face!"

"Indeed," Lotion replied, "Pride and stubbornness, and a love for the art. You've recently gained a healthy appreciation for what physical training can amount to, though much of your early life you spurned those who seemed to do all of their thinking with their muscles…by which I infer more than their pectorals."

"Uh…right," I don't know why that old woman's salty pattern of speech can rattle me so much…maybe it's because I don't expect to hear that kind of talk from someone in her age group…which, um…would be a rather slender category to begin with…

"Supposing you took one look at a penniless boy who seemed to only care about one thing and had as few prospects as his vagabond father," she continued relentlessly, "A mindless jock with an ego the size of a small hill who took it for granted that he was your physical superior and tended to treat you as if you were weak and helpless, worthy only of protection. Add to that a peculiar condition that makes his gender suspect and you can see why another version of you might well be persuaded to look elsewhere for her marriageable prospects."

I had to concede that she had a real point there. Before I became involved with Ranma the only thing that mattered in my life was earning enough money to keep a roof over our heads and food on our table. A boy who looked like a black hole of financial debt would hardly have appealed to me on that level, and besides which I had long preferred order and stability in my world, things in short supply around Ranma.

Add to that the fact that his basic existence was a challenge to all of my most deeply held beliefs and you could see how I might shy away from an engagement and seek instead to foist him on poor Kasumi, or even Akane. I might even manage to convince myself that the two of them belonged together, as far a stretch for me as that might be!

I tried to remember what my life had really been like before Ranma and all I could come up with was the sense that my life was meaningful but empty. There was a void in my soul that I hadn't even been aware existed until he came and filled it, giving that aspect of my life a sense of completion. The loneliness and isolation that I had deliberately surrounded myself with had been torn to shreds within the first few weeks that we were together, but in time I learned to care about him as an almost extension of myself and I no longer minded that my life had been turned into one great big adventure.

And Shampoo? How would I have lived my life if she hadn't become a part of my world? That amorous sex-kitten had wormed her way into my heart with every bit as much tenacity as my growing affection for Ranma, so now I was left to face the fact that my life would seem empty without the both of them in my world. I had gone from notorious Ice Queen of Furinkan High to domesticated sex-partner, and I regretted no little bit of it, no matter what else in my world had gone crazy.

"I'd rather not think on that if it's all the same to you," I averred, finding the subject very difficult to handle.

"I understand, Child," Lotion replied more gently than before, "But I thought it best that you at least consider what life would be like if you had not made the decision to take Ranma on as your iinazuke. It can't have been a very simple choice, and I have no doubt that it went against the grain of the person you once were. It helps to appreciate things if you put them in a different perspective."

I had to allow that she was right on this, as indeed she seems to be right on most subjects. Ordinarily I'd be annoyed hanging around with such an obvious know-it-all, but there's just something about the old woman that's hard not to like, even when she's being totally exasperating and evasive

Life without Ranma and Shampoo? It's not worth contemplating! No matter what turmoil goes on in my life, I've made a firm commitment and I'm sticking with my decision no matter what turns we all go through in the future…and I'd like to think the feeling is mutual on all sides. I know a good thing when I've got one, and as long as our relationship proves to be mutually beneficial, I'll stick to those two come hell or high water…

Ukyo was in Hell, a peculiar hell of her own making. On the one hand she was trying hard not to hurt anyone's feelings, on the other hand she was finding herself increasingly swamped within a romantic situation that was beyond her understanding.

On the one hand she had Makoto, her ex-girlfriend from middle school, who had dated her when Ukyo had been pretending to be a boy and who had formed an adolescent crush on the okonomiyaki chef back before they were both too young to understand things like a mature relationship between equals. Now that they were both older and more mature on the subject, and had the advantage of two years separation to examine their feelings on the subject, Ukyo found that she had missed the taller girl's companionship and actually welcomed having her back into her life, even granted that Makoto's feelings appeared unchanged when it came to her "Senpai."

On the other hand there was Akane, a nice girl who had attached herself to Ukyo before learning about her true status, and the subsequent curse that had befallen her in China. Akane was an odd study in contradictory behavior, prone to fits of sudden and unreasonable anger but basically very outgoing and friendly. She was a good friend and an occasional sparring partner and over time she had begun to form a grudging respect for the younger Tendo sister in all things not related to the kitchen.

And then there was Ryoga, a boy who obviously had it bad for Akane and who regarded Ukyo with unleavened hostility for the perceived threat to his relationship with same. Ryoga was as stubborn and pig-headed as a mule, but he was basically an honest guy and had many favorable qualities that she might otherwise have found attractive, qualities he shared in common with his half-brother, Ranma.

On top of all that there was her-or rather HIS curse, which Ukyo found particularly vexing as it made him the obvious object of appeal to half the women he encountered on this beach. Since the close proximity of a large body of water precluded coming out in her true gender (unless she wanted to risk the chance of "sudden exposure" that would leave her guy form looking foolish) he had to suffer the drooling idiot girls who seemed ready to fall all over him at the least provocation, not least among them the girlfriends of Makoto.

He was starting to seriously regret his decision to accompany Ranma and the others to this beach, not having taking into account exactly what sort of stud he looked like in a pair of tight-fitting trunks. He knew that Ranma was having similar misgivings about being a girl on this occasion, and Ukyo had to allow with good reason, surprised to note how he himself had an obvious and immediate reaction in her presence!

As if all of this were not enough torment, there was the flirtatious advances of the Amazon Ambergris that she occasionally had to endure whenever the two of them were close enough to exchange greetings. The pink haired girl seemed to delight in making Ukyo squirm with her flirtations, and she was driving Akane to distraction, which was no doubt a part of her intentions.

Alone any one of these elements might have sent Ukyo scurrying for cover, but with his Aunt Yumi around offering ready commentary to what a "stud" her nominal niece was becoming it was a wonder that Ukyo was not as red as a beet from continuous blushing. This whole thing was turning into one giant disaster in the making, and for the life of her Ukyo could not see his way through to resolving this crazy situation.

It was not that he had anything against any of the others…far from it! He liked Makoto and Akane and would not have minded spending time alone with either or both of his female companions, even if it meant having to endure the constant glowering of Ryoga. He was half tempted to tell the boy to get lost, but in his case that would have been ironic. It wasn't as though she saw him as a bad guy or even a possible rival, it was just having to endure his constant glaring that was getting on his nerves and making Ukyo long to knock some sense into him with the flat of his spatula.

Of course he had left his customary weapon back at the restaurant, a kitchen implement being slightly out of fashion for a beachside occasion, but he could improvise in a pinch, being a capable ninja-trained disciple of the Kuonji Ryu, but for now he resolved to ignore the potential threat of Ryoga while trying to find a gentle way of dissuading her girlfriends from pressing the issue.

In point of fact it was proving truly awkward to be caught in the crossfire of a potential catfight. Akane resented Makoto's attempts at fawning over Ukyo, and Makoto seemed to regard the threat of the other girl as a personal challenge. Between these two it was beginning to feel a bit like the makings of a war-zone.

How did Ranma manage it, Ukyo wondered idly to himself…balancing two such dynamic personalities as Shampoo and Nabiki with both girls cooperating in a way that was almost too chummy! Granted there was considerable flexibility afforded by the fact that both girls were openly bisexual, but Ukyo somehow doubted that he could be as accommodating to both of them were he to be added to the mixture.

Not that the idea was lacking in temptations…

Ukyo forced himself to turn his thoughts away from that direction and instead voiced aloud, "So, where do you think the old coot is hiding?"

"Hard to say," Ranma-chan replied as she glanced around the boardwalk, "This might be the wrong way to go, but I can't believe the old pervert is gonna pass up this many girls in string bikinis."

"Aiyaa," Shampoo readily agreed, "Many places to hide, much chance of ambush."

"Whatever," Akane noted, "He'd just better not try anything perverted around us. If he so much as THINKS about targeting me for one of those love pills…"

"Don't worry, Akane," Ryoga assured her, "He'll have to get around me first, and I've been waiting to give Gramps my family special," he cracked his knuckles for emphasis.

"Whatever," Makoto glanced around, "I hope we find him before the others. The thought of somebody like that with that kind of power…" she involuntarily shuddered.

In spite of the inner turmoil that he was experiencing at the moment, Ukyo could not help but feel amused as he said, "Don't tell me you're more nervous about a love pill than fighting against Youma?"

"Of course not," Makoto readily replied with a smile that showed how much she had grown in self-confidence since the time Ukyo had first known her, "But Youma's only drain you of energy…these things can warp your mind so that even a wrinkled old prune like him might look attractive."

"Keep in mind he's got a curse that makes him look younger than he is," Ranma reminded them, "The one advantage for us is that he's weaker in his cursed form, and any of us should be able to handle him when he's that way."

"I was counting on that," Ryoga agreed, "Just let me have one good shot at him and this will all be over."

"You're not planning to kill him, are you, Ryoga?" Akane sounded horrified at the concept.

"Small chance of that," Ranma replied, "The guy survived being trapped ten years in a cave without food and water. He just ain't normal…"

"All the more reason to be on our guard," said Makoto with a rock-steady undertone in her voice that earned Ukyo's silent approval.

Meanwhile, unknown and undetected by these six up and coming martial arts masters, the object of their search was smiling to himself as he clung to the underside of the pier. Just like the old woman to send out scouts to hunt him down and bring him to heel, as if he'd be stupid enough to wait out in the open where they could find him when his real quarry was Cologne herself. He waited until they were well past earshot then detached himself from the shadows and made his way out onto the open beach, having taken note of the other hunting parties so that he could single out the one that Cologne was currently heading.

He had only two chances to make his mark against the old biddy, and he intended not to waste them!

A good distance away from there, the unknowing object of his desires was taking private stock of her own allies and wondering if she had chosen well from among their numbers. Comb and Silk were obvious choices, but the Oni-woman, Atsuko, had chosen to remain with Genma while Soun, Nodoka, Hairbrush and Yumi comprised the rest of the parental brigade. Even by Cologne's jaded measure it was looking to be a rather explosive mixture.

Frankly she had never understood what it was about Saotome Genma that could attract the interest of such strong-willed characters as Ryoga's mother and her own granddaughter. Comb might try and deny that she had any interest in the fat fool but the way she carried on whenever he was around left Cologne to marvel that her husband could retain such composure. Hairbrush was not the sort of man who was prone to petty fits of jealousy, but it was obvious enough to anyone who knew him that he privately detested Genma and saw him for the honorless baffoon that he was, he just did not prefer to show it openly and instead affected a look of stoical indifference.

Nodoka was even more of a puzzle, given her volatile history and tendency to draw steel whenever challenged over the issue of her husband. She seemed far more amused by the antics of her nominal rivals and took no umbrage over the fact that Comb and Atsuko each regarded her as a dangerous nut case. In return Atsuko was behaving in a remarkably skittish manner whenever she brushed shoulders with the Saotome matriarch, as if she had recently found out something disturbing in the overly pleasant woman's manner that had utterly unnerved her. Cologne hated not knowing what could cause this change in the half-Oni's demeanor and privately resolved to make inquiries on that subject when time and opportunity allowed. For the moment she was grateful to have Silk's calming presence to serve as a firewall between these formidable women.

That left the Kuonji elder, Yumi, who was as much an unknown to Cologne as anyone else whom she had recently encountered. She knew of the former ninja turned chef mostly by reputation, having heard accounts from Silk on how the two of them had clashed on prior occasions. More importantly they both had been at odds with the late and much-lamented Kimiko, who had won Soun's heart after a feisty engagement that had been arranged by their mutual parents. Yumi did not seem overly resentful to have come out the loser in those battles, but there was something else about her manner that suggested to Cologne that she had not entirely given up on Soun, who had quite clearly succumbed (and quite recently) to the ample charms of Silk, who was-after a fashion-Kimiko's natural successor.

Cologne signed in weary exasperation as she made the grim discovery that she no longer felt as much at home with the older cast members of their ongoing soap operatic adventure. Give her the company of young people any day over the jaded antics of their clueless elders. It was a rather startling admission for one of her age and stature, but it reminded her painfully of how much she had come to enjoy the role of a teacher. At least young minds had some flexibility that you could work with, and their attitudes were not as hardened into pre-set and determined patterns, which meant that you could in some measure influence their future behavior by helping to change their present outlook. Older people were far more reluctant to change their established ways, and so you had to work a lot harder just to help them grasp the basics.

Rather like the old fool whom they were presently chasing down. Even as a young man, Happy had been fairly set in his ways and determined to be an unabashed pervert of extraordinary measure. Still and all, there had been a time when Cologne had almost hoped that she could be able to reach him, to perhaps guide him away from the course his destiny was to take him…before he made that pact with the Demoness Ganglot and became an even more extraordinary perverted individual than he had been to begin with.

And now? Happy finally had achieved the youth and beauty that he had so longed for as a boy in his native Okinawa, and what did he do with his gifts? He squandered them shamelessly and drove away any woman who might look favorably in his direction. He had the chance to remake himself in a new image, but all Cologne saw was the old Happosai in a younger body…selfish and self-absorbed to a degree that even Genma appeared altruistic. Not that Happy was totally lacking in redeeming qualities, as signified by his hamhanded attempts to assist the woman-child known as Hinako, but even his most noble aspirations tended to go sour because of his single-minded obsessions and obliviousness to the inevitable consequences.

Even as these thoughts were running their course through her mind some part of Cologne was on guard at all times. She was nonetheless surprised when the very object of her current pursuit appeared directly before her with a leering smile, as large as life and three times as perverted.

"Hiya, Toots," he said by way of announcing his presence, "Did you miss me?"

Young though her body was, Cologne had the superior reflexes of a Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku, and unlike Happosai she suffered no penalty due to her cursed form. Even so she barely got her hand up in time to deflect the pellet that had been aimed for her opened mouth, a movement performed purely by reflex so that Cologne was barely aware of the danger until after it had been averted.

"Nuts," Happosai growled, taking aim with the second pellet, "Well, you won't dodge this one, I guarantee it!"

Cologne was only mildly surprised at discovering that she was the target of Happosai's attempts to use the Love Pearls, but even so the realization of her near-miss shook her deeply with the thought of how close she had just come to being enraptured with the pervert. This time she ducked the hurtling pearl that had been aimed for her, knowing that Happy would employ every trick he knew to curve it around her defenses, and it was best not to take chances when dealing with this level of magic.

Of course two things of which she was not presently aware came into play about this point, the first being the approaching Hinako, who had spotted Happosai on his way to lay and ambush and had already fetched a coin out from the hidden pouch in her bikini and was preparing to use it, already beginning the chant when an object lodged itself in her throat, causing her to cough and sputter for several moments.

The second, even more calamitous occurrence happened as the second pearl went rocketing past Cologne's head and came streaking at Silk, who barely saw it coming. Unlike Hinako, however, Silk had the means to do something about it, and being a Lore Master, she slowed the flow of time to allow herself enough space to get a spell handy, and with outflung hands attempted to erect a shield to block the pearl…but when it struck her defenses something wholly unexpected happened.

The Pearl was the creation of Amazon Magic, charmed with the essence of Agape itself, and when it encountered Amazon magics of a similar nature it absorbed this force and added it to its own, intensifying the power and causing a brief prismatic flare-up of corresponding power.

To all other eyes it was as if the single pearl streaking for Silk suddenly exploded into a shower of pearls that shot in all directions, a few of which lodged in any open mouths of those closest to her.

Both Comb and Atsuko shared a brief moment of deja vu as pearls lodged in their mouths, as they did in Yumi, Soun, and Nodoka. Genma, being of wiser temperament than most when it came to dealings with Happosai, had already ducked his head and so missed receiving his own pearl, while Hairbrush had stood farther back and so similarly missed becoming a target.

"Aw nuts!" Happosai growled, "Now you've gone and done it!"

"I've done it?" Cologne slowly turned around to see the sheepish expression on Silk's face, then the stunned looks on several of the others, "Child…what have you done?"

"Ah…oops," Silk said meekly, "I…uh…didn't expect for that to happen…"

Comb covered her eyes with her hand and said, "Quick, somebody, give me a blindfold!"

"Whatever you do, don't look my way!" Atsuko cried with her eyes shut tightly, "Oh man…I thought once was enough for a lifetime! How come these things keep happening to us?"

"Oh dear…" Soun blinked his eyes as he turned to the Oni-woman, and then all at once his expression became intensely raptured, "Astuko, you pearl among women…where have you been all of my life?"

"Huh?' Atsuko forgot her own advice and opened her eyes to stare into Soun's eyes, and then suddenly the two of them were embracing, "Soun-chan…my big, strong, handsome boy…!"

"Excuse me?" Silk asked, a vein noticeably swelling on her forehead.

"Are you all right?" Hairbrush asked Nodoka, who had doubled over as if attempting to cough something out.

"I…oh my…" Nodoka's eyes grew very wide as she looked up at the concerned expression of the Chinese gentleman, and all at once a broad beam smile crossed her lovely features, "I am now, you handsome, manly thing, you…"

"Say what?" Comb whirled around, jealousy instantly suffusing her features as she took in the sight of the Saotome Matriarch putting her arms around her husband. In three quick strides she crossed the space between them to rescue her man from the predatory embraces of the other woman, whirling Nodoka to face her…and suddenly forgot all of her anger.

"Nodoka-chan?" Comb gasped, as if meeting her for the very first time ever.

"Are you jealous?" Nodoka asked her, "I'd be willing to share him…if you're willing…"

"Am I…?" Comb replied in a tone of sheerest wonder.

"Oh Bugger," Cologne murmured under her breath, realizing that it could well have been her acting like such a lovestruck puppy had Happosai's aim been a tad bit better.

"Dearest?" Genma was astonished at the behavior of his wife, only to gasp in alarm as a hand was laid to his shoulder, and all at once he was turned about to come fact-to-face with Yumi, who force once did not have that "I want to gouge your eyes out" expression!

"Where you going, lover boy?" she purred in a sultry voice, holding him by the collar so that his best efforts at resisting could not prevent the smooch that was soon to happen.

"I think I'm going to be sick," Silk remarked as if stating the condition of the weather.

"Soun, my boy," noted Happosai as he came to stand beside them, "I never knew you had it in you…but that Genma…now there's a real lady killer."

Cologne had not forgotten that the pervert was with them, much thought she would have preferred to have done so. Now she reacted with anger, whirling on him and with one swing of her hand knocked the fool flying for several meters.

"AND WHOSE FAULT DO YOU THINK THIS IS?" she demanded as he struck the sand close to Hinako.

The youthful teacher had managed to stop coughing when she spied the handsome youth in the sands beside her, and being of a compassionate nature she went to his side to see how he was doing…only to find that mouth-to-mouth resuscitation was definitely in order! Happosai recovered to the wondrous discovery of an underaged child giving him the lip-lock, and at this even his perverted nature rebelled. He was a man of many vices, but Pedophilia was never among them!

"Uh, excuse me?" he tried to break free of her grip, but the girl was quite tenacious, "I happen to be older than you, Miss, and…"

It took him a second or more to recognize Hinako, which was one second longer than it took to recognize the smile that crossed her face as she reached for another of her ever-present yen pieces…

Cologne winced slightly as she felt the power-drain go off in Happosai's general direction, but at the moment her attention was squarely focused in another direction. Genma's arms were windmilling and his feet were moving without corresponding movement from the rest of his body. From all appearances he seemed to be wanting to dash for the relative safety of the water, as if his cursed form might afford him some protection against Yumi, whose grip on his hide was tenacious.

Atsuko had Soun down on the sand, the both of them totally oblivious to their surroundings. It appeared as if the half-Oni was constructing a reactive "Somebody Else's Problem" illusionary field to insure the both of them the privacy that they obviously wanted. Meanwhile Comb and Nodoka were busy dragging the hapless Hairbrush off in the direction of the boardwalk, and it took little imagination to extrapolate their intentions.

And to top it off, Cologne noticed a few more of those bothersome pearls were littering the beach…no telling how many their number due to the effect of Silk's tampering with forces best left undisturbed. They would have to round up every one of those menacing things before this day of mischief could be concluded…and here it had been looking so promising as a day of diversion. Trust Happosai to turn it into a day that many would not like to remember!

She heaved a sigh and said, "Contact your grandmother…perhaps she can assist us."

"Right," Silk nodded at once, trying to force her mind away from thoughts of murdering the Oni.

Cologne spared a glance to where she had last seen Happosai, only to see the blond haired man taking off at high speed with a fully adult Hinako in hot pursuit. Several innocent bystanders looked like unfortunate victims of a rice-papering incident, but from experience she knew that they would soon recover. Nice to know that there was at least some poetic justice in the world, however fleeting.

And yet something warned Cologne that this day's mischief was hardly even beginning, and so long as those pearls remained there was the potential of even greater mischief. Throwing love pearls about in the midst of this hotbed of conflicting romantic circles was like tossing nitro on an open fire, and there was no telling what harm this could do to existing long-term relationships, such as her great-granddaughter's marriage to Saotome Ranma.

Nothing could be allowed to come between Shampoo's future happiness and the security of their family bloodline. The uniting of two Houses was essential for more than just romantic and practical considerations. Her recent experiences with her father had convinced her that a stronger bloodline would be insured by the joining of her house to the Saotome branch, producing future heir much like her promising young nephew, and that could be critical to the future survival of the Amazon people.

Elder Lotion was not the only one with her eyes on the Big Picture, and Cologne wanted a viable counterpoint to that young upstart seeking to replace her. If Ambergris was the future of the Joketsuzoku, then Cologne wanted to insure that future did not stray too far off course, and if she had failed to earn the respect of her beloved great-granddaughter…well, there was always the next generation to work with, just as there had been when Comb proved to be a disappointment.

And speaking of her hot-tempered granddaughter, Cologne fervently hoped that the pearl that she had swallowed was not the long-lasting sort or things really were going to become enormously complicated for her family's future! To say nothing of what Silk might do if provoked by Atsuko's intrusion into her relationship with Soun. The normally calm and easygoing Lore Master might seem as smooth as her name would imply, but even Cologne did not want to be at ground zero should she actually show her temper.

But first the gathering of the pearls, which would require the services of the young ones. Without the pearls the threat posed by Happosai would be abated, but a new and potentially greater threat would loom should those pearls fall into the wrong hands, a category that covered far too many potential candidates for her liking…and who knew what the odds were that she herself might wind up a victim of some one else's intended mischief?

On the other hand…the pearls might also represent unrealized potential. As she thought on it a moment, it occurred to Cologne that there were potential uses for the pearls that could be of an entirely beneficial nature…provided the one using them was willing to face the potential consequences…

Continued

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