Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Nibunnoichi! GXP! ❯ Round one, starters for ten ( Chapter 1 )

Nibunnoichi! GXP!

By Lord Raa

Disclaim-me-do: Insert coin to play.

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Round one, starters for ten, no conferring.

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In the Saotome home, Nodoka looked over the seppuku pledge her husband and son had signed.

"Genma, I can't say that I'm happy about you taking Ranma away from me for so long, but seeing that you might do something foolish if I don't, I'll allow you take him with you. But if you're only able to keep one promise, make sure he's a man among men."

"Of course, No-chan. Ranma will make you proud!" Genma boasted as he hugged his wife.

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During Ranma's training trip, Nodoka was visited by a certain silver-haired goddess of the past.

"Hello Nodoka Saotome. My name is Urd; I'm with the Goddess Relief Help-line. It is our duty to seek out mortals in distress and provide assistance whenever we can. What is your heart's desire?"

"How did you know my name?"

"I'm a goddess. I know that you are concerned about your family. Is there anything I do to help relieve your anxiety?"

Nodoka pondered that excellent question for a moment. "My son, Ranma. I have a strange feeling that many lives will revolve around his well being. I know that he will be a man among men, but just that I wish that he will be able to fulfil his destiny. Can you help at all?"

"I think that I can help out a bit," Urd smiled.

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A few years later, about the time Ranma was in junior high with Ryoga.

Genma was not happy. He'd just received his final pay packet from the manual labourer's job he'd taken to feed himself and Ranma when he noticed their campsite had been robbed.

Actually, the only thing still there was the fire pit.

Now Genma was not above a spot of thievery to keep him in booze, but he'd tried to tone down the illegal acts lately as Ranma had pointed out an increased police presence. Though he suspected the boy was developing a moral compass somewhat akin to those troublesome teachers at the local school.

He knew that they'd need new equipment and that would leave enough money for either alcohol OR food. And as Ranma was beginning to surpass his own level, he needed the stress relieving and pain numbing effects of sake.

Urd looked on at the scene before her, knowing what had happened. She had a bad feeling about what she was going to do, but it was a better option then allowing the plans of those sick men who'd had their beady gaze focused on the young pig-tailed martial artist.

Adjusting her appearance to look more motherly, she walked up to Genma.

"Excuse me; are you the legal guardian of Ranma Saotome?

"Yes. What can I do for you?"

Urd shuddered as she felt the unclean gaze of Genma undress her. "I was looking for a suitable husband for my daughter. I want her to be taken care of when she comes of age. I asked her if there was a boy she liked, and well your son's name came up."

"How did she find out about him? He goes to an all boy's school," Genma had noticed that girls had started to be attracted to Ranma and had to plan accordingly. It wouldn't do for the boy to find a girlfriend and mess up his retirement plans.

Urd realized she'd made a mistake, but quickly covered her slip. "She'd heard that there was a young martial artist of incredible skill in the area. She investigated and found your son."

"What's your daughter's name?" Genma asked.

"Urd." 'Damn, I've just gone and engaged myself to Ranma Saotome. Why did I have to get engaged to one of the hardest men in history to bed?'

"My son is important to me, why should I engage him to your daughter?" Genma questioned the woman in front of him. Ranma was important to him. Certainly his ability to run the Tendo dojo and compensate his father for all the sacrifices he'd been forced to make.

"I'll pay a handsome dowry." Urd was beginning to get a nasty feeling about this whole deal with Genma. No, wait that was just the hand on her thigh. (1) "This deal's only good for the next minute. It's enough to keep you in food for a while and take you on the next leg of your trip."

"We were planning to go to China next. I accept your gracious offer."

"Excellent, now sign this contract."

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China, a few years later.

Far above the surface of Earth, a ship of alien origin orbited in search of a powerful being. A creature so powerful, that it could easily be mistaken for a divine being by less technologically advanced people.

A voice of electronic origin sounded. "Detective, we've found Saffron."

The elegant humanoid female looked up from her book with excitement in her eyes. "Really?"

"Yes Detective Kaunaq," the computer replied. "We picked up his signature a few moments ago. It looks like he might be casing trouble again."

Detective Second Class Amane Kaunaq smiled. Capturing the infamous criminal Saffron would surely earn her a commendation and maybe even a promotion.

"Wait a minute!" the computer warned. "His life signs are fluctuating."

Amane frowned. The warrant did say dead or alive, but she would get more kudos from her superiors, not to mention a "get out of teaching at the Academy card", if she brought him in alive.

"Keep scanning, Kenji. I want more information before we make the arrest."

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Down on a certain mountain in China, Ranma was in the fight of his life and that of his fiancée. His opponent was like no other he'd fought before.

A warrior-king of legend, one that had stepped out of the pages of a book of myths from the Bronze Age period of human history, stood before the cursed martial artist.

"Foolish mortal! Did you really think that your puny land based fighting style can defeat me?"

Ranma panted and prepared his last attack. If this didn't work, he would lose and then everything that he had worked for during the last ten years of his life would be lost and he would be forgotten. If he was to be remembered, his name would live on only as a term for failing at the final hurdle, if at all.

"Hiryu Shoten Ha! Revised - horizontal technique!" the pigtailed boy yelled as launched a horizontal tornado at the fiery winged man in front of him.

As the phoenix's flames were extinguished, a small star ship came hurtling through the atmosphere streaking past the collapsing fighters.

The advanced spacecraft circled the mountain range, scanning for the fugitive. When the travellers from Nerima left, Amane had discovered what had happened and landed near the egg that contained Saffron. Taking the subdued fugitive aboard her vessel, she read the newly apprehended suspect his rights.

One of which he exercised, though not by choice.

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In Nerima, a few days after the failed attempt to join the schools of Anything Goes in matrimony, Happousai was angry with his worthless heir. Again. If it wasn't the little punk's lack of respect, it was his interference in the diminutive martial artist's divine mission to free the silky darlings.

Plus the damn kid was still upset about his drinking that water.

Of course, Happousai saw nothing wrong with his actions - if anything, he felt gypped as there was no booze.

"And they have the nerve to call that a celebration," the troll grumbled. A thought occurred to the aged martial artist. "I know just the thing to punish him."

He reached inside his gi and pulled out a scroll that would enable him to summon a demon.

After a few incantations, a puff of smoke appeared in the spare room. From the centre, a bestial figure appeared, though its head remained obscured by the smoke, and demanded the reason for disturbing it. It spoke in a deep, rumbling voice

"I need you to punish a punk that's been causing an innocent old man trouble," Happousai lied.

"What's in it for me?" the deep voice appeared interested in the bargain.

"What do you want?"

"I want a soul. Is yours up for offer?"

"N-no." Happousai was beginning to think that this was a bad idea.

A face became clearly visible to the grand-master of Anything Goes. "Then it is you who shall be punished for treating me as a plaything. I do not appreciate being lied to."

Realising that he'd committed a bit of a faux pas, Happousai made his way from the room.

Soon after that, he found himself dodging lightning bolts.

"Where's that punk kid when you need him?" he groused.

"What ya dun now, ya old freak?" Ranma greeted him from the top of the stairs.

"Ranma m'boy! Just the person I wanted to see. Be a good boy and deal with that, will you?" Happousai gestured to the rather angry looking demon behind him.

"Crap!" Ranma exclaimed as he took a defensive stance and stood in front of the evil spirit.

"You."

"What?"

"You will make a suitable sacrifice."

"What you talkin' about?" Ranma maintained his stance.

Genma and other Tendos had arrived on the scene just in time to hear the next bit of the demon's explanation.

"I need to be appeased. The two methods of sacrifice are to spill the blood of the innocent or someone willingly gives up their soul. I am ambivalent as to your choice."

Nabiki looked at the troublesome freeloader. "Just what have you done now, Ranma?"

"I didn't do anything!" Ranma protested loudly. "It was the old freak!"

The doorbell rang, interrupting the debate momentarily.

"Hello? Is Ranma there? I need to speak with him and my husband," Nodoka called out.

Another female voice called out. "Yes, I'd like to meet my fiancé, Ranma Saotome."

All eyes turned to the Saotomes present.

"Don't look at me!" Ranma, as usual, protested his innocence whenever a new fiancée arrived at the Tendo dojo.

The unfamiliar voice called out again. "My mother said that I could meet him and my father-in-law here."

Recognition flashed in the demon's obsidian coloured eyes. "Urd!" it growled.

Genma started to sweat. The perspiration was coming off in buckets when he heard Nodoka walk up the stairs with her guest.

"Excuse me, which one is my fiancé, Ranma Saotome?" a silver haired woman asked.

Akane saw the dress the newcomer was barely wearing and turned to her fiancé. "Ranma! You pervert!"

"SILENCE MORTALS!" the demon bellowed, angry at being ignored.

Soun was glad that he, unlike Genma, wore a dark coloured gi.

The foreign looking woman appraised the "evil spirit". "You're not fooling me, Mara."

"What?" Happousai asked the silver haired beauty. The pervert had returned when he saw that house was still standing. "That's a demon, right?"

"Yes, Mara is a demon. But, she doesn't look like that normally. What gives, Mara?"

"I was summoned by the troll. I showed up but he didn't have anything to offer in exchange for punishing the boy," the demon replied, slowly turning back to her normal form. "Why are you here?"

"I think that it would be best to discuss this over tea," Nodoka suggested. "After all, I would like to know why my son has picked up another fiancée."

"So would I," Ranma added, glaring at his father.

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As the guests of the Tendos sat down and drank their tea, Urd explained the circumstances behind her engagement to Ranma.

"As part of Mrs Saotome's wish that Ranma fulfil his destiny as a `man among men', I had to step in to assist Ranma a couple of times. The most recent one was just before Ranma left for China."

"What did you do, Miss Urd?" Kasumi politely asked.

"Some people had engineered a situation where Ranma wouldn't have been able to continue the training trip."

"And just how does that mean you're engaged to this playboy?" Nabiki asked, not seeing all the pieces of the puzzle.

"I had to come up with a way of funding a leg of their journey, the best way I could think of was to offer a dowry for Ranma's hand in marriage," Urd explained with a wistful smile.

"So why are you after Ranma, Mara?" Nodoka asked the demon.

"There is a price to pay for the type of summoning that Happousai performed. I'm still waiting for payment," Mara replied with a shrug.

Urd frowned. "One of those contracts?"

"Yep, unfortunately, this spell requires a payment regardless of whether or not any work is done on my part," Mara apologised

"What is it that the contract demands?" Nabiki asked, intrigued by the whole situation.

"Either a willingly sacrificed soul or I spill the blood of a few innocents. To tell you the truth, I'd really rather not have been the only available demon for this job - I never did care much for bloodshed."

"So what about this `willing sacrifice bit'?" Nodoka asked the two outsiders.

"It's a karmic thing," Urd answered. "The souls have special powers for the denizens of the spirit world. Demons gain more kudos for corrupting a pure soul than that of, how shall I put it, capturing a less pure one."

"Just as goddesses gain more kudos for redeeming the less pure souls," Mara looked at the assembled Tokyo natives. "Ideally, the best soul for me would be the eldest Tendo daughter."

Ranma looked at the demon. "No."

"What?" Nodoka asked her son, trying to ignore the wailing man to her left.

"I said `no'. It's the duty of martial artists to protect those that can't fight for themselves. I will go in Kasumi's place."

Soun stopped wailing for long enough to acknowledge that his beloved daughters wouldn't be sacrificed to this demon, no matter how shapely she was.

"We still have a problem," Mara sighed.

"What do you mean?" Nodoka asked.

"The problem is this: either I get a willing sacrifice or spill the blood of a few innocents in payment for my trouble. Since someone is willing to go with me, I have to take that as the option. For that I am thankful."

"So where is the problem?" Kasumi asked, not seeing the dilemma.

"The person willing to be sacrificed is already promised to another in a binding contract - me," Urd explained.

"Just how binding is this contract?" Nabiki asked, hoping to find a way out of this for her money maker. She knew the story of the goose that laid the golden eggs.

"Let's just say that events will conspire to prevent Ranma from marrying anybody other than me. You don't think it's a bit strange that things stop people from getting too close to Ranma keep happening do you?"

"What do you mean?" Soun demanded from the goddess.

"Certain water-based curses? The rival suitors finding out about the wedding? Ranma's life has been so highly scripted and choreographed, that you'd think that it was a work of fiction," Mara pointed out.

"Yes," Urd added, "in fact, something completely out of the blue is about to happen."

"Wha…?" Ranma was cut off by the noise of an alien spaceship landing in the Tendo garden.

A blonde woman stepped off the boarding platform. Removing her sunglasses, she introduced herself. "Hello there, I'm GXP Detective Kaunaq. I'm looking for the man that defeated the criminal known as Saffron. Is he here?"

Genma and Akane pointed to Ranma, who waved hesitantly.

Ranma was beginning to get a bad feeling about this whole situation.

`Oh, he's a cutie.' "Hello. My superiors want me to speak with you about joining the Galaxy Police, or GXP as it's more commonly known."

"Why?" Nodoka asked, not having been made aware of the events in China.

"Saffron is an incredibly powerful being that was wanted for numerous crimes against the citizens of the galaxy. Ranma managed to beat him single handed and that enabled me to capture him. He confessed his crimes and told us who it was that beat him. Now the chief of police wants to talk to you, she thinks that you have the potential to a fine GXP officer," Kaunaq briefly explained.

"Ahh, so that's what happened to Saffron," Urd mused.

"You know Saffron?" the blonde asked the goddess.

"We used to be a couple. So he's behind bars now? Oh well, it just goes to show that there's no helping some people," Urd shrugged.

"You were going to help my son fulfil his destiny, what is it?" Nodoka asked the platinum haired deity.

"He's going to bring peace and order to the galaxy," Urd finally revealed.

"Or at least try to," Nabiki snidely added. "You know he's just going to end up causing more trouble than he stops."

"Yeah, he can't go a day without fighting," Akane added.

Ranma refrained from commenting on the short haired girls' remarks, not wanting to upset his mother.

"Ranma," Urd shook the boy gently out of his trance.

"What?"

"This is your destiny," she gestured to the space going vessel.

"I see." Ranma rubbed his race with his left hand. "So what happens now?"

"You come with me to the GXP headquarters; we interview you and then decide if you're a suitable candidate," Amane Kaunaq enlightened the pigtailed martial artist.

"But what about the pledge to unite the schools?" Soun asked.

Amane didn't see why there was all the fuss about Ranma running this rundown dojo. "It's up to Ranma if he wants to run a dojo. If he signs this contract, he'll be free of all his earthly obligations."

Not knowing what to do, Ranma turned to his mother.

"Do it son, make me proud of you," Nodoka patted her son on the shoulder.

"Ok, I'll do it."

"Nice, but there is still a problem," Mara drew attention to herself and Urd.

"What do you mean?" detective Kaunaq asked.

"We already have two contracts, one divine, and the other infernal. Both of them take precedence over any mortal agreement but are in conflict with each other," Mara informed the alien police officer.

"Why is it that you want Ranma, Mara?" Urd asked her old friend/rival. "There are easier and juicier souls out there."

"I know," Mara grinned at the goddess. "It's the same reason you don't object to marrying him."

"Hey! That's to fulfil his mother's wish," Urd protested. "That's why I engaged myself to Ranma."

"I never said otherwise," Mara raised her hands defensively. "What I merely said that it was the same reason you don't object to the union. He is quite lovely."

"True enough, but I'm not going to let you condemn him to the netherworld."

"Who said I was after his eternal soul?" the lady demon smirked, enjoying her game with her rival. "I just want some time with that body of his - the rest of his mortal life."

Ranma froze as he felt two hands caress his chest and the gentle breath of Mara on his neck.

"Ow! Ow!" Mara yelped as she felt a pinching on her hands.

"I don't think so, Mara. I may be a goddess of love, but there're a few things I won't tolerate. First and foremost is another women's hands on my husband," Urd growled.

"He's not married to you," Genma interjected. "He must join the schools of Anything Goes."

"But what about the contract you signed?" Urd placed a piece of paper on the table.

"Not again, Genma? What was the dowry this time? All you can eat Shabu-shabu?" Soun asked his old friend.

"Not according to this," Nabiki informed the rest of her family and guests. "It was a healthy sum of cash. Enough for them to fly to China and back. First class."

Genma found himself hoisted up by his gi and face to face with his son. "You made me swim to China and we could have taken a boat or even a plane?"

"But it did wonders for your stamina," the bald man protested weakly.

Urd considered this fact and nodded in approval. "Yes, I can see just where that will come in handy."

Mara "hmmed" in agreement.

Amane coughed politely. "Well as much as I like Earth, I have to be going. Ranma, no one is going to force to join the GXP, we just want to talk with you."

Urd recognised that the blonde had an aura of "temptress" about her and took steps to ensure Ranma's "safety". "I will accompany Ranma on this trip. After all, it will allow us to get to know each other better."

"Yes, I think that that is an excellent idea," Nodoka agreed heartily.

"But what about me?" Mara asked. "I'll get into a lot of trouble if I don't get my sacrifice."

"But you're a demon," Nabiki pointed out, "why would we care what happens to you?"

Mara invaded Nabiki's personal space in the blink of an eye. "What was that you said? It sounded an awful lot like `I, Nabiki Tendo, will be the one to go with you, Mara' to me."

Nabiki gulped. "By all means, follow Ranma around the cosmos. It wouldn't do for you to lose out to Urd without a fight."

"So that's what you said?" Mara asked with a smirk.

Nabiki nodded vigorously, hoping that the scary woman would leave very soon.

"I guess my ears are dirty. Ranma, perhaps a bath is in order?" Mara appeared at the side of her new object of interest. "Maybe we can wash each other's fronts?"

"Mara!" Urd growled.

"Ladies, perhaps you can finish this later, I have to get back to the Chief with Ranma," Amane interrupted the bickering immortals.

"Aren't you going to do anything about Ranma being taken away, Akane?" Kasumi asked her youngest sister.

"I'm tired of his crap," Akane grumbled. "Feh, that pervert deserves to be abducted and anally probed by aliens for all the trouble he put me through."

Nodoka frowned at her previously preferred choice of daughter-in-law. "Perhaps it would be best for Ranma to leave Nerima, it obviously does not agree with him."

Mara smirked as her spell worked its sinister magic on the Tokyo natives. "I guess that they don't want you here, Ranma. More fool them, if you ask me."

"Yes, more fool them," Amane agreed as she pulled Ranma aboard her ship and quickly left the atmosphere.

"Damn!" the two allegedly mythical beings cursed.

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To be continued?

(1) This is what Nodoka would call "manly behaviour". And let's not forget that Urd is quite lovely.

Thanks go out to Chi Vayne for pre-reading this silliness.

I'll try to fill in some of the more obvious plot holes in the coming chapters.

Feel free to leave your comments in your usual manner.

Email is:

(lordraa)AT(hotmail.com)

Or (lordraa)AT(digitalpimp.co.uk)