Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction ❯ Nibunnoichi! GXP! ❯ Round Three: New starter question ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

Nibunnoichi! GXP!

By Lord Raa

Part three.

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Disclaim-me-do: I bet this never happened to Flash Gordon.

I want to make this as clear as I can: - there will be major differences in the timelines for GXP/Tenchi Muyo and O!MG. Hopefully, the changes will be made clear in forthcoming chapters and I won't have to spend too much time writing things in author's notes.

##########

“You'll do it?” Airi asked Ranma, wanting to be entirely sure that the young man knew what he was getting himself in for. “Even if it means never being able to live on Earth again?”

“Yes,” Ranma nodded. “Back home all I did was upset everyone, but here I can help people.”

Amane smiled, but said nothing as she prepared their prisoner for transport back to the GP headquarters.

“Read this.” Airi handed Ranma some of the paperwork that he needed to sign.

Ranma flicked through the document, not really understanding some of the details. Ok, so it was mostly incomprehensible to him.

Having been tricked several times by Nabiki, Ranma asked Airi what the bits he didn't understand actually meant.

Airi sighed, Ranma might have excellent physical capabilities, but it seemed that Amane could have found a smarter recruit.

“What this means is…”

##########

Meanwhile, in the Nerima ward of Tokyo, Nodoka Saotome was preparing to drag her less than honest husband home by the scruff of his neck.

“We need to talk, Genma.”

The part time panda gulped.

A ringing of a bicycle bell seemed to save Genma's hide, at least for a little while longer.

“Airen?” Shampoo called out, hoping to make nice with her wayward fiancé.

“Ranma's not here,” Kasumi explained as she continued to hang out the washing.

“Where is Ranma?” Shampoo asked the oldest Tendo girl.

“He's not in Tokyo anymore,” Nabiki added, stepping outside for some fresh air. “In fact, he left the planet.”

“What Sneaky Girl talking about?” Shampoo demanded. “How can Ranma leave planet? He no astronaut.”

Nabiki just held her hand out.

Shampoo growled, but pulled out her purse. “How much?”

“Ooh, I think that three thousand yen should cover it,” Nabiki grinned at the Chinese girl.

After counting the money, Nabiki sat the Amazon down and explained what had happened to Ranma.

When Shampoo heard what had happened; she turned to the mercenary Tendo. “You let Ranma get taken?”

“There was a demon that wanted to take Kasumi away!” Nabiki shouted at the purple haired girl. “What did you expect us to do? Just stand there and let Kasumi suffer in Hell for all eternity?”

Shampoo hadn't seen this side of Nabiki before and, to be honest, she found it quite disturbing.

Neither had Nodoka, who had walked by with a panda in tow. `Perhaps Nabiki would have made a suitable wife for Ranma?'

“I thought you say that Ranma with alien husband stealer?” Shampoo asked, puzzled as to the whole truth about Ranma's disappearance. “So what demon have to do with Ranma going away?”

“There was a demon that wanted Kasumi's soul, but Ranma offered his. There was also a goddess that said she was engaged to Ranma,” Nabiki explained. “This alien wanted to talk with Ranma about what happened with Saffron. That's why Ranma's not here anymore: he's with her.”

The whole situation sounded suspicious to Shampoo, but with how Ranma's life normally went, this wasn't outside the realm of possibility. “I be back in a bit,” the normally cheerful girl said to Nabiki.

##########

In the domain of deities and other immortal troublemakers, Urd was talking with her sisters and mother.

“So why are you interested in this Ranma, Urd?” Belldandy asked naively.

Skuld knew that her oldest sister was a bit weird when it came to boys, often sizing them up like they were pieces of meat and rolled her eyes. “It seems that Nee-chan thinks that Ranma is a bit tasty.”

“You're not planning on eating poor Ranma, are you?” Bell asked, aghast. Divine beings didn't go around consuming mortals these days, did they?

“What? No!” Urd shouted. It dawned on her that Belldandy had no idea why anyone would want to be close to Ranma, and that was why her relationship with Keiichi had barely progressed. One thing that was not on her list of things to do was have to explain carnal desires to her innocent sisters. “He's a nice guy.”

“So is Keiichi-kun,” Hild pointed out with a knowing smile.

“Yeah, but he doesn't have such a cute ass or the stamina to last for hours in the bedroom,” Urd admitted. The Norn of the past's face fell when she realised what she just said. “I just said that out loud, didn't I?”

“Yes you did, dear daughter,” Hild stated with no small amount of amusement in her voice. “The truth is now out in the open, and what are you going to do about it?”

“I'm going to help Ranma fulfil his destiny!” Urd insisted with her hands on her hips. That the aforementioned destiny might involve much in the way of her engaging in some legendary lovemaking with Ranma was completely immaterial.

“”What could you possibly be doing with someone that would last for hours in the bedroom?” Skuld asked Belldandy.

“Other than cleaning, I can't think of much, Skuld,” Belldandy answered with a light blush. It seemed that the lovely Belldandy was not completely ignorant of adult activities.

But that may have been something to do with her finding one of Keiichi's (slightly less) dirty magazines, rather than a firsthand knowledge like Urd or Hild.

“Well, I'm off to visit Nodoka on Earth,” Urd said before her mother could embarrass her sisters. Not that that wouldn't be most amusing, but she felt the need to speak with the people in Nerima before she left for her new life of adventure.

##########

Nodoka helped her friend Kasumi with the rest of the laundry, knowing full well that Genma was only half way through his punishment and needed to heal slightly before she could start the next phase.

Two of Nerima's Chinese community bounded over the wall to the Tendo's back yard.

“Oh, welcome Elder Cologne,” Kasumi bowed to the elder.

“Greetings, my child. I'm here to clear up the confusion surrounding Ranma,” Cologne said with a mild tone of annoyance in her voice.

“And what confusion is there?” Nodoka asked the pair of visitors.

“Shampoo was told that Ranma is no longer on the planet,” said the wizened old lady.

“That's true,” Nodoka confirmed. “He's fulfilling his destiny as a man among men, helping those that need assistance.”

“He needs to marry my great-granddaughter,” Cologne insisted. “Our laws are absolute.”

“Really?” a new, yet familiar voice called out.

“Yes,” Cologne snapped as she spun around to face the newcomer. The human prune managed to not fall off her cane in surprise at the aura of the woman.

“But how are you going to consummate the marriage with Ranma being on the other side of the known universe?” Urd asked with a smirk.

“So it's true that Ranma is no longer with us?” Cologne demanded, momentarily forgetting what her senses screamed at her about the platinum haired woman.

“Ranma is currently on his way to the Galaxy Police headquarters,” Urd explained. “He's going to enrol there as a cadet, as am I.”

“Oh my, you're going to be with Ranma-kun?” asked Kasumi.

“That's the plan. Assuming that Nodoka here doesn't object to me keeping an eye on him,” Urd gave the Saotome matriarch a slightly pleading look.

“Of course I don't mind,” Nodoka said with a huge smile on her face. “I think that Ranma could use someone who's a bit more worldly and sophisticated to look out for him. He's a sweet boy, but he doesn't have much of a clue about the world outside of martial arts and food.”

“That's true,” Cologne admitted. “But he still must marry Shampoo!”

“No. Wrong. Not going to happen,” Urd patronised the old dear. “Besides, what would you have done if I hadn't shown up and saved him from being dragged to the depths of Hell?”

An uncomfortable silence reigned over the Tendo yard.

“I thought so. Well, if it's any consolation, Happousai won't be bothering you anymore. He should be suffering as we speak,” Urd smiled evilly at the Amazons.

Nodoka smiled as she considered Urd's words and looked the goddess over. “Yes, Urd. I think you and Ranma would have beautiful babies together.”

“But Shampoo must marry Ranma!” Shampoo protested. “Not new husband-stealer!”

“Yes, our laws are quite clear on the matter,” Cologne tried a last ditch attempt to win the day for her heir.

“Heh, no!” Urd told the Amazons. “You think that people should support you claim for Ranma because of your laws?”

“Why shouldn't they? Our laws have existed along with our tribe for three thousand years. Simply because they work,” Cologne began her history lesson.

“Yes, but I recall hearing about Shampoo chasing after Ranma, not to kiss him, but to kill him. Are you really expecting people to just stand by while you murder people?” Nodoka asked the old hag.

“Laws are laws,” a narrow-eyed Cologne told Nodoka.

“Yes, and ours say you can't go around killing people who best you in a tournament. I might have considered allowing Ranma to marry Shampoo, but certainly not now, not after hearing that you would have killed a girl for being a better fighter,” Nodoka said with an unmistakable tone of finality.

Had Cologne been a few decades younger, she might have attacked Mrs. Saotome for slighting her tribe. Instead it was Shampoo that reacted rashly.

Grabbing the laundry basket that lay at her feet, Nodoka armed herself. Judging the distance, she swung the moulded plastic and hit the Amazon on the chin, stunning her.

Calmly standing over the momentarily incapacitated girl, Nodoka asked, “I take it that you are now going to attempt to kill me for beating you?”

“Shampoo not beaten yet!” the Amazon growled.

“Shampoo!” Cologne bellowed at her great-granddaughter. “Stop this instant!”

The shrivelled Amazon turned to face Nodoka. “I see your plan: - if Ranma finds out that we did something to harm you, then he'd make sure that we paid for it. It seems that you are more cunning than we first thought. But since Ranma is not on this planet anymore, we have nothing to fear.”

“Oh, I think that you do, you arrogant old bat,” said Mara as she appeared next to Nodoka. “You pride yourself on your independence from the Chinese government, but what would happen if all of your crops failed for the next, ooh, 15 years?”

“They'd starve,” Urd said with a frown. She might not have liked the Amazon's attitudes to love, but she didn't like the sound of them being wiped out.

“Or they'd be forced to ask the outside world for assistance,” Mara pointed out. “Say goodbye to three thousand years of history.”

“And just how are you going to do that?” an angry Cologne demanded.

“I'm the demon that's got Happousai tied up in Hell. Would you like to join him?” Mara asked with a dangerous smile.

Cologne's face twitched ever so slightly at the beings in front of her. “No, I shall pass on that invitation.”

“Why do you want Ranma so badly?” Urd asked teasingly.

“He'd be a great asset to the tribe,” Cologne started to say, but changed her mind. “Why should I tell you?”

“No reason, I just wanted to know why someone of your importance in your village would spend so much time and effort trying to get Ranma, someone who clearly doesn't want to live in China. Can you think of a reason, Mara?”

“Hmm,” Mara considered for a moment. “Petty revenge. I mean, she must have been training Shampoo for as long as Genma trained Ranma, but then surely that would mean that the fat panda must be a better teacher than the old hag here.”

“Certainly more effective one,” Urd agreed.

“GENMA SAOTOME IS NOT A BETTER TEACHER THAN ME!” Cologne bellowed at the friendly rivals as she twitched.

“Maybe not, but whose student managed to beat Herb?” Kasumi “innocently” asked.

“Who's this Herb?” Nodoka asked, not yet knowing all of Ranma's adventures in Nerima.

“Herb is a descendant of a dragon,” Cologne explained. “He is a master of using his ki in combat, both as a weapon and as a means of flight.”

“And Ranma defeated him when he was locked in his cursed form,” Kasumi added.

“I see, so Ranma is truly a Man among Men to be able to defeat dragons,” Nodoka sighed happily.

“Yes,” Mara agreed. Then she remembered why she was there. “Mrs. Saotome, would you mind terribly if I asked Ranma out?”

Nodoka looked at the Mara, her eyes appraising the infernal being's body and its language. “Would there be grandchildren in the near future?”

“That depends on when Ranma gets me pregnant,” Mara said absently.

Urd's eye twitched. “They've barely met and she's planning on having his babies.”

“I think that sounds wonderful,” Nodoka smiled when she overheard Urd's comment. “Yes, by all means ask my son out, both of you. Allow Ranma to make an informed choice.”

“I know just the thing for that,” Urd and Mara said at the same time. They looked at each other, glared and then made their own way back home.

“I think that your business here is concluded,” Nodoka said as she turned to face the Amazons.

##########

Back in the place where mortals are forbidden to tread, Mara and Urd were preparing for their journey to the other side of the galaxy. Standing with them was Urd's family.

“The portal on the right is for you, Urd. The one on the left is for Mara,” Kami-sama explained.

The friendly rivals nodded, and took deep breaths. As the divine and infernal rivals stepped through their respective portals that led to the other side of the galaxy, a creature that looked like a cross between a spider and a cartoon rabbit hopped across the Yggdrasill programming room and decided that the trailing cables there were a good choice for its next meal.

“Oh my!” Belldandy called out when she saw the frayed cabling behind the computer station.

“What is it, Belldandy?” Hild asked.

“It's these wires,” Bell answered, holding the offending items up.

“That's Bug damage,” Skuld pointed out. “Who knows what's happened to them?”

“I do,” the Supreme Being said with a pleasant smile.

“What do you mean, Father?” Belldandy asked, concerned for her older sister.

“I mean that Mara is fulfilling part of her destiny. It's all part of the Cosmic Play. I can't tell you any more at the moment, but I can assure you that everything will work out fine for your sister and her friend.”

##########

For good reason, Mara had prepared for her new life as a Space Pirate. And so she was mightily surprised to find herself in the Galaxy Police's academy instead of the Pirate Guild's headquarters.

“What am I doing here?” she asked rhetorically, her eyes darting from walls to floor to ceiling, taking in all of the details.

“I don't know,” Urd replied from beside her. “We were supposed to be on different planets, not here together as cadets.”

Mara sighed in frustration. `This is all I need. I can't be living with these goody-two-shoes, I'll go mad.'

Urd didn't like the situation either. She'd hoped to use her position as Ranma's classmate to her advantage, before the two of them encountered Mara out in the field. She knew full well that Ranma would need help on the academic parts of his training and she had a plan for him to repay her for her help.

“Since we're here now, we might as well make the best of a bad situation,” Mara said to her long term rival. “Want to be my roommate?”

“Might as well,” Urd agreed. “Better the devil you know, after all.”

“Ha ha,” Mara said sarcastically as she held her sides. “It's a good thing I'm wearing a corset.”

“Why are you wearing that, anyway?” Urd asked, gesturing to the lacy purple and black garment.

“I think a better question is `why haven't you changed out of that evening dress?'” Mara countered with a smirk.

“This is part of my normal wardrobe,” Urd insisted, referring to her slinky black dress. “Your corset is new.”

“Yes it is, thanks for noticing. Do you think that Ranma will like it?” Mara asked as she twirled around to show her rival. The demoness filled out the piece of lingerie nicely, much to the appreciation of the local males.

Urd sighed, she really didn't want to admit it, but the blonde woman did look very nice dressed as she was. Then inspiration struck. “Probably, no-one seems to know what Ranma's taste in women is. I mean he's had a number of very attractive women throw themselves at him with no reaction “South of the Border”.”

“He's not gay is he?” Mara asked,

Urd just shrugged, not really knowing herself.

Mara frowned, her plans would have to be altered from what she had envisaged, if it turned out that Ranma swung the other way. Though she could understand any “gender confusion” from the Saotome child.

##########

With everyone safely aboard the Chairwoman's ship, they made their way back to GP headquarters.

The journey was wholly unremarkable, aside from the fact that when they reached Jurain space, they received an escort from the infamous Devil Princess of Jurai, Lady Seto.

Of course, no-one referred to Lady Seto as the “Devil Princess” to her face; that was considered to be a well known faux pas. But that could be said of anyone whose signature move was called the “Genocide Dance”.

Lady Seto invited Amane, Airi and Ranma aboard her ship for tea and a chat. Ranma's fight with Saffron had reached even the court of Jurai. She'd also spoken with Airi Masaki about Ranma's involvement in retrieval of the seed and Seto wanted to see what all the fuss about this young man was for herself.

As one of her assistants led the trio of guests to the Mikigami's park-like interior, Lady Seto stood up to greet them all.

“Greetings, Mister Saotome,” Seto bowed.

“Hello, er,” Ranma struggled to remember the name of his host.

Amane whispered the right name in his left ear.

“Lady Seto. Thank you for inviting us aboard your… ship?” Ranma added, looking around. “Are we still on board the Mikigami?”

“Technically no. We're in a subspace pocket, that's why this are is bigger than the outside of the ship. Now, sit down and tell me about yourself,” Seto gestured to the seats.

“Well, where to begin?” Ranma asked. “I recently finished my training in the Saotome School of Anything Goes…”

And so Ranma filled in the Devil Princess of Jurai on the major events of his life, starting with his curse.

“Ah yes, I've heard something about this curse of yours. Could you demonstrate it?” Seto asked.

“If I could have some hot and cold water,” Ranma agreed.

When the water arrived, Ranma displayed his transformation, much to the interest of Seto and her advisors.

“And you say that this is magic?”

“Yes, my Pop has one, he turns into a panda.”

“I think that Washu would like to examine you,” Seto said with a grin that made Ranma feel uncomfortable.

“Lady Seto, are you sure?” her male assistant, Kanemitsu Hirata, asked. Washu might be the greatest scientific mind in the galaxy, but her cabbits weren't all mewing in chorus.

“I think that she should be able to assist Mr. Saotome, don't you?” she asked in a dangerous tone.

“If Lady Seto thinks it best,” Kanemitsu apologised.

“I do. Now what happened after you found yourself in China?” Seto asked as she sipped her tea.

“Well,” Ranma started his life's story.

##########

A few hours later, with everyone that was going to the GP Academy safely aboard the Chairwoman's ship, Airi ordered them to set off for home.

A short distance into their return journey, an automated distress signal was picked up by one of the bridge crew and Airi was alerted.

“Where's it coming from?” the Chairwoman asked. “We need to get back as soon as possible. The induction to the Academy is in a few days.”

“It's a small distance from out current position, Ma'am. We can investigate and back on course in less then half an hour. Depending on what assistance is needed.”

“Ok, change course and investigate.”

Ranma, sitting in his quarters, looked up from his information booklet on the Galaxy Police when he heard the bridge page him.

Strolling up to Airi and Amane, Ranma asked them what was going on.

“We've picked up a distress signal,” Amane answered.

“You mentioned that you wanted to help people, and I thought that you should see what part of the job entailed,” Airi clarified.

“Oh, fair enough,” Ranma shrugged.

The stricken vessel came into view on the main screen, causing the bridge crew to wince when they saw the damage that had been caused.

“Hail them,” Airi ordered.

“Yes Ma'am,” a non-descript, male junior officer replied.

##########

Aboard her ship, Ryoko Balta was relieved to hear that help was on the way, even if it was the GP. “Oh well, I guess it's just an occupational hazard. Make sure our disguise fields are in place before putting them on screen, please.”

Chairwoman Airi's face appeared on the screen, much to Ryoko's consternation. “It had to be one of the top people in the GP, didn't it?” Ryoko asked rhetorically. “Hi there.”

“>Hello,>” Airi greeted. “>What can we do for you?>”

“We got caught in an ion storm, and as you can see, we're in trouble,” Ryoko smiled at the police when she saw Ranma standing on the bridge.

Ranma seemed to take the strange appearance of the damaged ship's crew in his stride, something that made Amane swell slightly with pride.

“>What help do you need for your repairs?>” Airi asked, wanting to get on her way as soon as possible.

“Our chief engineer was injured, do you think you could send someone to look at our environmental systems?”

“>You're leaking atmosphere>?” Airi asked concern evident in her voice.

“We don't know for sure. One system thinks so, but the environmental readout says we're fine,” Ryoko answered.

“>Best err on the side of caution. I'll send some people over now.>”

##########

Tarant Shank made his way to the bridge of his ship; he'd been called there because of a nearby damaged vessel. He had standing orders to be notified about such things on the assumption that the ship had a valuable cargo and a half decent resale value.

He was not expecting to receive the update that there was a GP ship rendering assistance upon his arrival at his chair.

“What's the value of the damaged ship?” he demanded from one of the console operators.

“It looks like it's a new ship. I'd need to look at the damage sustained before I can give you a monetary guesstimate. I can't tell if it's got cargo at the moment, they're venting atmosphere and it's clouding the sensors,” the dark blue haired man answered.

“What can you tell me about the GP ship? It doesn't look like a combat vessel,” Shank noted.

“It seems to be a yacht type. I doubt that there are a lot of weapons on it,” the sensor operator replied.

“Then, I think we should go in on a two pronged attack. I'll lead the boarding action,” Shank decided. “Shiv, you take care of that GP ship. Scare it off if you can, but you know it won't be too big of a shame if they all die.”

“Understood.”

##########

To be continued…

This chapter was pre-read by Chi Vayne, and probably didn't hint at many of the AU changes that I mentioned the pre-story notes. You'll have to wait for those. I think I'll include a major one in the second half of the next chapter.

Assuming that nothing drastic happens to me, you know, like the world ending or me spontaneously combusting.

Are there any questions or comments?

You should know how to contact me by now.

Until laterer comes.