Ah My Goddess Fan Fiction ❯ Trial By Tenderness ❯ Part 3 - A New Life ( Chapter 3 )

Part 3: A New Life

 

The next day was a Friday and the household was hectic. I was beginning to feel a thread of the security of being settled in. More importantly, I wasn't suffering the disorienting effects of any weird physical stuff going on inside my body. But my prospects were dimmed by the fact that I would need to leave my new digs shortly. I reminded myself that I was a stranger here...as soon as I regained my health, I would need to find a place of my own. The comfort that I felt here would only be a brief reprieve. Mentally, I had to defer my headache to the Tylenol bottle which Keiichi pointed out to me in the bathroom earlier. My head was chiming with stress and I found my morning meditation difficult going. After meditating, the thought of moving from this serene abode into an unknown large city was a source of anxiety for me.

I knew that Makuhari was situated in the north central part of Honshu, just a little northwest of Chiba on the east side of Tokyo Bay. According to Keiichi, the temple that he and the Goddesses called home was situated a few kilos inland, overshadowed by a tall hill. From the coastline, Makuhari looked like a major industrial metro area, complete with vast tracts of factory complexes, high rise office buildings, the massive Makuhari Messe Convention Center complex and the oceanside Chiba Marine Stadium. I would have never known this; the temple's atmosphere afforded a sense of being completely isolated from the urban network...the only sign that we were in the midst of a Japanese "new town" were the pictures of the urban vista I saw in the "Guide to Makuhari" book I skimmed through yesterday.

Everyone seemed to convene in the dining room between 6 and 6:30 am. As in Hawaii, these people seemed to be early risers, but not for the same reason. In Hawaii, everyone gets up really early because traffic starts to get bad around 6 am. Here, it seemed that the sun rose somewhat earlier than what I was used to back on the islands; nature seemed to regulate things rather nicely here. Opening the window blinds, I noticed that it was a wonderful late-February day. The weather was still chilly in comparison to late-February temperatures in Hawaii. The air had a crisp, clean smell; it seemed to drive out any indoors odors in my room, giving me a refreshed feeling.

One thing I sensed was the relative quiet. The effect was quite subtle...and poetic. I could hear birdsong in the morning, rather than the juttering, sliding ambiance of traffic. In my mind, I imagined that life in pre-Industrial Japan, perhaps even pre-Tokugawa Japan, was akin to this. The dominant soundscape was pristine; a suspension of the technological. Here, the walls of the compound seemed to ward off street-level noise, leaving the aural ambience of wind, trees, birds, and earth to compose music to my ears. The setting was almost rustic. The air had a crisp, clean smell; it seemed to drive out any indoors odors in my room, giving me a refreshed feeling.

Breakfast consisted of some sweet rice, shortbread, toast and the requisite tea and coffee. I noticed that Megumi and Keiichi preferred coffee, while Belldandy liked to savor a cup of tea. Skuld gulped down her chocolate milk and juice. Urd was busy gulping something down too, a bottle of sake. I shyly inquired as to the status of the bathroom and Keiichi informed me that he would show me how to use it after breakfast. Megumi looked a lot better today; the exhaustion that drew her face yesterday being fully driven off by a good rest.

"There is some truth to the notion of 'beauty sleep'", I mused, gripped by with my own early-morning languor.

I expected Belldandy to be devoted to Keiichi, but the depth of her actual feelings surpassed my expectations. She cooked for us all, and packed a tastefully designed bento box lunch for Keiichi. She would often stare into his eyes wistfully with the countenance of a satisfied soul. Her presence suggested to my mind one dictionary's definition of grace: seemingly effortless beauty. Belldandy was animated with grace when she was around her mortal boyfriend. I observed her as she looked at Keiichi's brown orbs...and I could almost imagine how lost she must feel in them. She truly loved Keiichi from the core of her essence. A glinting selfish thought reacted with jealousy, but my higher 'anima' was happy to bear witness to the privilege of such a powerful bonding between two spirits.

After everybody left the table, I found myself listening to Megumi. She explained that she didn't have to go so early to school today; she would catch a ride with Sora Hasegawa. I asked her what was different about her school schedule today, attempting just to make light conversation with this beautiful Japanese girl. She started to sob as she related the whole story about Yamashita-sensei and his heart attack.

I felt deeply touched by her respect for her professor and the force of her feelings of concern for him. After some casual discussion, I informed Megumi that I was finishing a dissertation on a topic in Asian history relating to studies of the consciousness. She looked at me in wide-eyed shock.

"No way! You can't be more than 23 or 24! That makes you close to my age! And you're this (making a pinching gesture with her fingers) close to a Ph.D.? I don't believe you!"

"So how old are you?"

"Never ask a woman her age! Didn't you learn that in grade school?" Megumi answered me indignantly. Then she softened her bearing.

"I'm 22!" she said in a near-whisper.

"No way! You look like you're 20!" I answered truthfully. Megumi grinned at me and dipped her head with a momentary embarrassment. Then she smiled broadly and repeated her argument.

"Sooo, if you're my age...how can you be farther along then Yamashita-sensei? Even as it is, he only has a Masters...and you claim to be working on a doctorate?"

"As if you knew the kind of work 'only a Masters' entails!" I teased her, semi-seriously. I assessed the situation in a realistic vein; in Megumi's eyes I probably looked like a spaced-out hippie...in total contrast to the average gakusen-type college student. No wonder Megumi thought it improbable.

"By the way, I just turned 29. Try me, Megumi. Tell me what you are studying and I'll 'profess' on it."

"29? No way! Okay, hotshot...let's see if you're for real!" she said, suddenly looking at me with a determined expression. She giggled slyly.

"Describe to me what was happening in China during the late Ming!" She sat back and folded her arms in satisfaction.

"College-level stuff, too," she added.

I could tell by her smug expression that she was thinking, "No way would this gaijin from Hawaii know anything about that."

During the next ten minutes, I gave her a salient rundown on a broad list of subjects relating to the late Ming: economics, painting, medicine, culture, religion, politics, literature, etc. Then I discussed the contributions of the ethnic minorities in China, and how their cultures interpenetrated with other Asian peoples. Then I jokingly added how Akutagawa was fascinated with some late Ming poets, such as Chen Zilong and Zhu Yizun. Then I quoted several passages from his journals and novels that indicated this.

Megumi looked at me with gathering awe, then her expression relaxed into a grudging respect.

"You sound just like a teacher! You really do know this stuff!" She jokingly called me Cevn-sensei, and we both laughed. Urd had entered the dining room and was quietly listening to our discussion, a look of condescending amusement on her face. Megumi patted me on the top of the shoulder, Japanese style, and screwed her face up thoughtfully for a second, then made a suggestion.

"Why don't you apply to fill in for Yamashita-sensei's post?"

I smiled at Megumi's little joke...then I saw the sincerity of her steadfast expression. She was in earnest! I felt a shock and then gasped audibly. I had just arrived on Wednesday; now two days later, Megumi is suggesting that I get a job at Nekomi Tech as a teacher. There must be some kind of hyperkinetic pace of life here in the temple! I know that my mouth was hanging open like a flytrap, because Megumi and Urd both started giggling. I felt the kind of paralysis that accompanies public humiliation!

Because of my bouts with depression, I hadn't been able to hold steady work in several years. Studying was a hard enough task, taking every bit of my energy. With the episodes of depression being unpredictable as they were, I was always juggling projects. Fortunately, the department worked with me on this: when I got into a deep bummer, I could make up any missed work a few weeks later with no penalty. Besides, they were always highly impressed with my academic work. But to take on a teaching role with Japanese students, known all the world over for their rigorous academic expectations? I wouldn't have the protective comfort of an academic department that knew about my temporary incapacities due to depression. Reluctantly, I admitted that I wouldn't even begin to make the cut. Feeling at a loss to reply to Megumi, I looked to Urd for help. Urd shook her head as if to say "you're on your own on this one" then her face became hard and she started in on me.

"Why don't you take up Megumi's suggestion? Just think of all the girls you'd have in your class, beautiful college women just like Megumi!" I flushed at her blatant insinuation while Megumi giggled. Urd became more engaged in her effort to embarrass me.

"They would be 'bothering' you all the time! Hee..hee, I can just hear them: 'Cevn-sensei, could you help me understand the Kama Sutra.' 'Cevn-sensei, I need some special tutoring after school...can you come to my house and give me private lessons?'" My face felt warm.

Urd laughed out loud at my expense.

"Then they would be asking 'Why is Cevn-sensei hiding in the teacher's lounge?' Heheheh! You would be the talk of the campus...the too-shy professor of love!" I felt resentful and frustrated that Urd was making a mockery of my defensiveness. Especially with this issue!

"What is there to explain about the Kama Sutra; everybody knows it's an old Indian sex manual!" Megumi added. Now they were both using me as a comic foil!

I felt choked with panic and muttered "I'll think about it" under my breath and retired to my room. I heard Urd yelling down the hallway, "Hey...try a tactful exit next time!" as I entered my room. Damn her, she keeps stirring things up! Nervously, I picked up the strange book and started absentminded flicking through the pages. I realized that I missed the comfort of my NA friends and my therapist. I resolved to get hooked up with a doctor next week. These people were driving me nuts with their unpredictability!

Keiichi broke my reverie by yelling, "Bathroom's free!" in my door. I followed him to the bathroom. It was a traditional-style bathroom, with a deep tub of hot water and an adjoining shower to wash off in. He explained to me that I was to use the shower to soap and rinse first, and then soak in the steamy water. He showed me where the towels were, and left me to my fate.

I undid my robe and made sure the door was shut. I recalled too well about Urd's sneaking in on Keiichi while he was in the bath. I hoped that Skuld by now knew not to use the hot bath water as a transport within the house. I was frightened, because of the scars on my soul that years of sexual abuse had taken out on me. I was super-paranoid about my body. Not that I am ugly, or anything, but I just didn't want to be seen naked. In the past, I was so ashamed of myself that I couldn't walk around without a shirt, and it took years before I felt comfortable even going barefoot in public. This was the price of years of sexual abuse...that I paid every day of my adult life.

As I untoweled myself, I prayed fervently that Urd wouldn't choose now as a time to try one of her 'games'. I dipped my foot in the water. HOT! It felt like this water was hot enough to boil a lobster. But my foot grew used to the heat, and eventually I found myself soaking up to my chest in the water. I actually felt a deep peace, and a sense of relief as the water enveloped me. It was totally relaxing. I wanted to drift off into a quiet place in my mind.

I got out and soaped and showered, then dried off with a towel, brushed my hair back in a ponytail and put on the robe. I walked back to my room and let the air dry me.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

With Megumi and Keiichi gone, Belldandy decided to take Cevn on a tour of the temple grounds since things in the household were relatively quiet. Skuld had emerged only briefly from her lab to eat breakfast, then returned to assembling her invention. Urd said she was planning to inventory her stock of medicines today, and then resume work on an experimental potion she was concocting.

As Urd heard Belldandy talking to Cevn as they walked behind the temple, she momentarily considered drafting up a super-powerful love potion for Cevn, since he seemed so touchy around women.

"That would be hilarious! He'd probably implode with embarrassment!" she thought. But she decided against it after further reflection; tampering with Cevn might be tantamount to tampering with the Almighty. Urd didn't want that kind of trouble. Besides, the whole group would be together for this weekend's finishing touches to their team's solar racer, and Urd didn't want any screw ups if she decided to dose Cevn. She recalled the time Tamiya took one of her love potions and started chasing her around town...this one incident was more than enough to teach Urd caution, even if she got the best of the brutish sempai.

After showing Cevn the temple grounds, Belldandy relaxed in her room, busily knitting a sweater vest for Keiichi. Even though it was the end of winter, she was hoping that he'd still be able to use it. She wondered how the race next weekend would go.

"Cevn has arrived at an important juncture in all of our lives," she thought. The upcoming race had required months of planning and building. And it was all going to come to a head in a week. Once more, Toshiyuki Aoshima had invested a lot of his father's money in an experimental vehicle. His attitude was barely tolerable; he would surely outdo himself to defeat the Club.

But what really troubled her was Keiichi. As the racing club's driver, the onus was on him. He hadn't lost a race since Bell met him three years ago. She wondered how he would be able to hold up emotionally if he lost this race. She knew, along with everyone else, that this race was not just a local or collegiate competition. It was international in scope: a select invitational affair with racing teams from all over the world. Her memory returned to the day Keiichi ran up to her after coming home from school, excitedly yelling "We got invited to the Solar Federation's solar car race!!" The ensuing three months of preparation had severely taxed all the Nekomi Tech. Motor Club members.

Belldandy's thoughts returned to the present. With Mara hanging around, things could get outright dangerous. Every time Keiichi raced, there was the possibility of an accident, regardless of whether her Demonic counterpart was involved or not. Her cheerful disposition belied the fact that she sometimes worried about Keiichi being injured.

"Not sometimes. Frequently," she admitted to herself in a soft voice. Yes, Mara would not be above causing an accident, because she knew that she could hurt Belldandy via Keiichi. But Belldandy also wondered about the strange book in Cevn-san's room. This was a puzzle that all her divine intuition could not solve! She knew that she had to resign herself to the fact that the Ultimate Force would eventually reveal the mystery of the book sometime in the future.

In his room, Cevn contemplated Megumi's suggestion. Nitpicked it in his mind. No, he had sworn off wearing business suits. No way. Never. And no haircut either. He knew enough Japanese to get by, but would that be enough to satisfy the requirements of an instructor's role? Or the students? He remembered with indignance about how some fellow students made fun of one of his Philosophy professors, a man who hailed from Mainland China and possessed a less-than perfect grasp of English. Philosophically, the man could weave rings around most of the students in the class... Cevn projected his imagination into the realm of 'what if?' What would he wear? How would he act? Here, in a strange new land, he could start a whole new life over again. Would his depression interfere? What about his past as a active drug addict? It was complicated, but he sensed that fate had given him an opportunity, and that it was the right thing to do. He called the school and arranged for an interview next Tuesday.

At school, Keiichi was bound up in the task of finalizing the specs for the solar racer. Like a fickle dieter, it was still 3 kg. too heavy. He, Ootaki and Tamiya argued fervently over which components could be trimmed, or lightened. The chassis itself could not be lightened, because this race specified that the superstructure of the chassis had to weigh exactly 45 kg. Each team could design the chassis anyway they wanted, but the weight limit was strict. The representatives of the International Solar Federation had already visited the N.I.T. campus two weeks ago to confirm the chassis's volume. Any alteration of the chassis at this point would result in a disqualification.

Consequently, the challenge of this race was in the design of all the mechanical parts. His team's chassis had already been weighed in; now the remainder of the task was for them to weed their way through the give-and-take of weight vs. efficiency. The sponsors were going to award the winning team with an unspecified cash prize, which was rumored to be very generous. The prize was intended to fund further research towards solar powered vehicles. Looking at the mostly-assembled solar racer, he again realized that what was being tested was the engineering know-how of each entry, especially in the field of engine dynamics.

During lunch, Megumi's spirits were somewhat subdued. The fact of the matter of her dolorous mood remained; being in school only served as a reminder of her unfortunate Yamashita-sensei. She was also worried about the race and wanted to be working with the others on the design, but her schedule would not permit that today. She would have to wait for the weekend. She excitedly told her friends that she, Megumi, had found a possible replacement for their sensei; a young gaijin from Hawaii with long hair and a thorough knowledge of Asia. Her friends bantered excitedly about this prospect during their lunch hour, lifting all the girl's spirits a little bit.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

I was stymied by the question about whether I should apply to Nekomi Tech. Damn Megumi for even mentioning it! And damn Urd too, for making such a scene! There were so many positions and issues to consider...but overall, I was sick of living like a cripple with this disabling depression. I just wanted to do something that resembled self-support, something that could dignify me a little bit when I looked in the mirror. After nine years of college, I should at least be worth something to someone.

After a half an hour, I was leaning towards a decision. I could at least try to get the instructor's role. I reminded myself to check the weekend paper to see if the position was advertised. Being a major Technical Institute, they would either fill from within or quickly advertise the opening. But how would they react to a gaijin applicant? Also, how would I react to them?

"What the hell, you should apply," the inner voice inside of me prompted. I had learned to trust that voice, even if it sometimes guided me into spiritual insanity.

A delicious aroma filled my nostrils just as Urd opened the door to tell me that dinner was ready. I walked down the hall to the living room and saw everyone there turn to look at me with smiling faces. I felt a little embarrassed at all the attention; obviously they had decided to put me in the spotlight for some reason.

"-Welcome to our humble abode, Cevn-san!-" Keiichi said clearly in English with a mock-oriental-polite voice. That was a surprise! "-May you honor our insignificant household with your august presence and sagacity!-" he added with a grin.

Everyone started laughing at this after he translated it into Japanese. I was impressed with his English and his sense of humor. I bowed deeply to him and replied in English, then Japanese.

"-Velly solly, but humble servant no can come crose to your gleat magnanimity.-" This brought a peal of laughter from Keiichi and Megumi.

Belldandy and her sisters were beaming with laughter and smiles. Keiichi tried to reply to this, but choked up with mirth midway through and said, "Oh screw it! I spent too much time drawing engine designs during English class in high school! Anyway, Bell and I thought that since you are new to the household, we would have an American-style dinner as a sort of welcoming party."

"A...a welcoming party?" I said with confusion.

"Yes! Welcoming with a capital 'W'," Keiichi said in slightly inflected English. "We decided yesterday to invite you to live with us, that is, if you wish to..."

"What! You would let me live here? With you?"

"We need another male here to keep Keiichi from going nuts. Besides, you're still under my charge...and it would be easier for me to keep an eye on you if you lived here! That way, you wouldn't get me in trouble with the Big Meany," Urd bluntly stated. Skuld shot her a squinting look of disgust.

"Cevn-san, we would love to have you live with us. Please say that you will," Belldandy added with a warm look in her eyes. How could I say no to eyes like hers? I looked each of their faces, pausing for a decision while my heart rejoiced at their caring gesture.

"Okay." I managed to say softly before I felt tears in my eyes. Urd looked at me, obviously curious about my tearing eyes. Very quickly, I felt a deep tingle of joy at the prospect of living here.

"Now that the speeches are done, let's party!" Urd announced, hefting an open bottle of sake and pouring drinks for everyone, except Skuld. When she came to my glass, I quickly put a hand over the top of it, and she looked at me with surprise.

"Whatsa matter, can't ya handle it?," she defiantly questioned.

"Sorry Urd, I'm allergic to alcohol," I replied. Very allergic, I reminded myself. I couldn't explain to them the source of my reluctance to drink any sake. From what little I had observed in Urd, she had already been 'partied' and was tending towards the argumentative. Belldandy, sweet angel, sensed the potentially awkward moment, and offered me tea.

"I cooked up an American recipe: Chicken and dumplings with mashed potatoes and apple pie for dessert. I hope you like it, Cevn-san!" she said excitedly.

Skuld interjected, "Yeeech!" Everyone turned to her, as a silence descended on the table. She put her fingers in the sides of her mouth and made a face, then exclaimed, "Fooled you all!!"

I heard Urd say under her breath, "What a child!" I was hoping that Skuld didn't hear that, because I didn't want my 'yokoso' dinner devolving into a melee. Belldandy played the role of host and served me first as guest of honor, then she filled the other's plates. I noted to myself how skillfully she had absorbed Japanese culture in just three years and thanked her profusely. She was a natural.

It was delicious. I hadn't eaten a home-cooked meal like this in years. I explained to them the story about how apple pie became an American tradition like Chevrolets. Keiichi noted that "Chevy's suck. I would rather have a ..."

"A ffff..., you mean," Urd said. "You know, dear Keiichi...it rhymes with truck..."

Keiichi turned beet-red as Urd's little 'joke' sank in. Belldandy and Skuld didn't catch her attempt at ribaldry; Megumi reacted with a embarrassed smile. From that point on, everybody stuck to conversing in Japanese.

The next few minutes were spent with Skuld, Keiichi and Megumi arguing the various merits of American cars. Everyone has any number of 'blind spots' in their knowledge of subjects...one of mine is cars. I am probably the most ignorant of people when it comes to cars. So I just listened, a little uncomfortable that my silence betrayed my total display of ignorance. If I am so ignorant about mechanical techniques, how can I make it as a teacher at N.I.T.?, I wondered despondently.

Megumi then asked me if I had given thought to her suggestion from this morning.

"What do you think about it, Cevn? You can do it, I know you could!" she said confidently. Her confidence, not mine. I felt everyone's eyes bore into me.

"Hey everybody!" I announced, "Since you have welcomed me into your home and it looks like I'm here to stay, I've decided to follow a suggestion Megumi made this morning...and apply to Nekomi Tech." Keiichi looked like he was going to drop his fork in mid-bite.

"What! What did you suggest to him, little sister?" he said with an accusatory tone to his voice. "He just got here a couple of days ago, and now you're trying to convince him to enroll at our school? He may not even be interested in engineering!"

"No! That's not what I suggested..." Megumi replied defensively. She described how she had found out that I was a ABD (all but dissertation) Ph.D. candidate in a topic relating to Asian Studies, and that she had simply suggested that I apply for the vacancy caused by Yamashita-sensei's absence. Keiichi looked at me with even more disbelief written on his face.

"What about if they find out that he lives here? Teachers and students can't mix, you know!" Keiichi noted. Megumi's face fell flat at this statement of fact.

I felt a little crestfallen at this. I had briefly nurtured a hope that Megumi's interest in me was in the realm of "something more than just a friend"; but this latest revelation hadn't occurred to me either. If I was hired, I would become her teacher and a faculty member of Keiichi's university. It would impact my relationship with her as well as with Keiichi. I thought sadly that there would be no possibility of romance between Megumi and I. Then I remembered that there would probably never be any romance in my life anyway...so why bother thinking about what might have been.

"I wonder if she thought about this?" I quietly asked myself.

Megumi looked surprised, then she said, "If it's a choice between Cevn working at Nekomi or moving out, I'd prefer that he stays here!" Everyone agreed with this. I feverishly examined the options and settled on a possible solution.

"I could get a mail box in the city! As a newly arrived gaijin, they wouldn't suspect that I am living with anyone local to the Chiba region...they would obviously assume that I don't have any family ties here. I could tell them that I am renting a temporary flat or mansion apartment, a..and that I am planning to save up enough money to get a real place to live, whereupon I could offer them a real address! They wouldn't have a clue, so long as I left early in the morning and caught the bus or walked there, so as to not be traced back to here. By the way, how far is N.I.T.?"

"Several kilometers," Keiichi replied.

"Okay, then the bus it is. As long as everyone keeps it cool about where I live, including all your friends at school, then it should be okay. I disappeared so quickly from Hawaii anyway, there's going to be no mail coming to me for a while."

Belldandy gave a start at the last statement I made. Her face visibly paled. I was concerned at her reaction. What did she know about my life back in Hawaii? The mention of my previous life seemed to give her a stab of pain. I looked at Urd, who was shaking her head sadly at me.

The group debated this suggestion and agreed to it.

"Hey, Megumi, since this is your suggestion, uh...I need you to do me a favor."

"What?"

"I want you to take me shopping. I need to get clothes anyway, and you seem to have the most fashion sense here..."

"She does not! I do!" interrupted Urd, visibly perturbed.

"...and of the two Nekomi students in the room, you would have a better notion of what a guy, possibly a teacher, should wear. No offense, Keiichi."

"None taken, Cevn. Time to take responsibility, Megumi," he teased his sister. I watched Megumi to see how she would deal with my request. She looked thoughtful, then responded, "Yes, for the sake of humanity I'll do it. Besides, I love shopping, right Bell?"

"Let me go, too!" said Skuld. She must have caught my look of surprise, because she frowned at me and stated emphatically, "Don't even think it has anything to do with you--I just want to spend some time out of the house with Megumi!"

"Sure, you can come with us, Skuld! That'd be cool!" Megumi must have felt a little insecure going shopping alone with a man. I instantly understood that she couldn't bring her friends along because of the teaching thing. With that matter settled, the household shifted into its evening routine. Urd was plastered and went to her room, mumbling something about my inability to "tie one on". Skuld was a vision of excitement as I saw her bound off to her lab. Keiichi and Belldandy looked longingly into each other's eyes, chatting in low whispers.

Megumi called me into the living room to discuss our plan of attack tomorrow. She didn't know about the money that my unknown benefactor had left me.

I decided that it was time for me to settle accounts. I counted up the money and went back into the dining room where Bell and Keiichi were quietly talking. I sat down at the table and gave Keiichi half the money I had found. Keiichi's eyes grew big with shock as he saw the yen notes.

"This is for the household. I hope it doesn't cause too many problems, but it's half of what I found. I hope it will cover the cost of my living here and then some."

Keiichi was still dumbfounded by the three stacks of 10,000 yen notes that were on the table. By his reaction, I knew that it must have been a small fortune. Urd made some ignorable comment about how I should put her on an allowance. I explained to him about how I had found the money in the mysterious book that showed up in the mail the day I had arrived. I felt some guilt, because this kind of money was far beyond what I was used to...and probably beyond what the household has seen in a while. Keiichi looked at me, inclining his head slightly as if to say "thanks". His face showed visible relief...and gleefulness.

"Anything that is left over you can apply to the club, or whatever else, Keiichi."

Belldandy looked at me warmly, and chimed in her thanks as well. I felt good that I was at least mature enough to spread the wealth, rather than miserly hoard the yen. A sense of relief passed; this potentially clumsy moment had come off pretty well. No one had lost face. I realized that Keiichi and his 'tribe' were my only hope to surviving this 'new life in Japan.' I would need their help, both human and divine. The money couldn't even begin to compensate for what they had already offered me. To my surprise, I was beginning to feel at home.

Megumi walked up behind me and hooked her arm in mine in a sisterly fashion and led me off into the living room. She pulled out some photo books of local shops and suggested several stores. It was obvious that she was an expert shopper.

"Megumi, this is as scary for me as it is for you. I know you barely know me and I appreciate the risk you are taking by going shopping with me. Please understand that I have a difficult time with women...and don't be surprised if I am totally stressed out tomorrow." She looked at softly with her brown eyes, clearly caught off guard by my disclosure.

"Hey, it'll be alright! I'm not going to bite you or anything!"

"I'm more scared of what you'll put me in, clothes-wise!"

She teased me by threatening to select outfits that would make everybody laugh at me. I wondered why I wasn't feeling the normal (for me) feelings of fear and shame. What I privately termed my "Woman Phobia". This situation should be setting off all of my triggers, but it wasn't. What was different?

I thought of the one other thing I really needed to take care of for myself.

"Megumi, are there any stores here that sell musical instruments, specifically synthesizers, samplers, mixers and effects?"

She thought for a minute, and then told me she knew of a place that had a lot of gear.

"Good", I thought. At least I could play my music here.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

The next morning, Megumi and Skuld told me that we were going to catch the bus to the downtown district in Chiba. On the map, Chiba didn't look like a city of a million inhabitants, but I knew that it had a large population, like so many cities in the Tokyo conurbation. My fears at breakfast about Megumi borrowing Keiichi's bike and making me sit in the sidecar were abated. I had assumed that Skuld would simply transport herself via water to wherever we were going. But Keiichi had already left to meet with his club buddies for another round of design talks/arguments. So it was the bus for us.

Megumi was all dressed up for our shopping expedition. She wore a pair of stone-washed denim jeans and a black tight top with a Nekomi Racing Club tee-shirt over it, with the collar trimmed out. Over this she wore a stunning white leather jacket with rolled up sleeves and a rock-n-roll design on the back. She had on a pair of short boots with chaps strapped over them. When I saw her, all I could do was catch my breath, as I was inclined to whistle at her. Skuld looked at me with disdain. She was dressed in her traditional jacket-cum-poncho with black spandex-looking hose and a girlishly dainty dress. She toted an umbrella. I smiled at her and told her that she was going to attract all the boys attentions while we were in the mall or wherever we were going.

Megumi saw the effect that her outfit had on me. She must have been used to making guys nervous with her beauty. She had an intense look on her face that told me that she was intent on completing this task with no room for fashion failure.

"Megumi, you...look incredible!" I finally said. She smiled brightly at me and thanked me for the complement. She seemed so friendly at first, but then she also seemed to be something more.

We left the temple and headed towards the ocean. The temple was located about 3 kilometers uphill from the shores, right at the edge of a large hill. Makuhari was crowded with houses and apartment flats, but it lacked the urban concentration of multistory buildings, such as I had seen in Tokyo.

We caught the bus at the Makuhari station and traveled south on National Highway 16. Megumi pointed out the Makuhari Messe Industrial Exhibition Hall, nestled amidst a series of shipyards and industrial complexes. At little further south, she pointed out a road the led to the oceanside Inage Seashore Park, a recreation area mostly frequented by senior citizens and lovers. After a slight bend in the highway, we entered Chiba. Chiba, unlike our neighborhood in Makuhari, was a heavily built-up area. The shopping district was extremely congested due to the unseasonably warm weather.

Upon debarking the bus, she played the part of the tour guide and pointed out to me the local sites of Chiba-shi. Skuld, for her part, was particularly interested in the ice cream and confectionery stores. Megumi catered to my Asian interests and pointed out various temples and older buildings. I absently caught myself commenting on the architectural motives of the buildings and shrines. Megumi quietly giggled and reminded me that she was not in school, nor was I.

"Yet..." I replied, and her broad smile spoke volumes.

We went to a casual dress store first. Megumi tried to get me in a suit and I refused. She reacted with mock-frustration until Skuld started to argue with me about my reservations on wearing a suit. We bickered for a little while and then compromised on a light blue blazer set with a silver tie and white shirt. Next, we went to a college-type shop, where I bought a number of sweatshirts, jogging outfits, a gi, and some jeans and T-shirts. Megumi kept commenting that the clothes I bought went together as well as "zippos and rainforests." Despite her light-hearted sarcasm, she really was an expert shopper; I happily surrendered to the fact that, compared to Megumi, my fashion sense was of the Luddite variety. What was helpful was the explanations she offered when encouraging me to defer to her "good tastes" and try something new. At least this way, I knew what I was getting into as far as style. After this, we ate lunch at her friend Sora's parent's ramen shop.

I knew from the manga portrayal of her that Sora Hasegawa was a little withdrawn and quiet. But I didn't expect to feel such dignity and strength when Megumi introduced her to me. Sora lit up when she saw Skuld in our little company. She was anything but withdrawn when she was around familiars.

"Skuld! How are you! How's the latest project going?" Sora and Skuld chatted excitedly about engineering details, and I realized that Sora was a mathematics genius. I quickly got lost when the two stepped beyond differential calculus and fuzzy set theory. I asked Sora about her interests in the motor club and she animatedly replied with a stream of mecha-babble. Megumi joined in, until I grabbed a straw, tore off the end, and shot it between her and Sora. This drew a scowl from Sora's mother and retaliation from Skuld, who winged a soft drink lid at my head. Sora's mom was minding the serving bar, watching our table closely. I didn't want to get Sora in trouble, so I picked up our mess, smiled guiltily at Ms. Hasegawa and tossed it in the trash. She nodded her head commandingly, then returned to serving customers.

Megumi and Sora were embarrassed at this, while Skuld seemed amped up and wanting to play some more. I listened as Megumi related how trialsome it was to get me to try any new clothes...Sora replied that she should take me to Harajuku, where I would fit right in. When I asked about Harajuku, all three giggled with suspect levity. I rejoined the conversation and confided to Sora that I was going to apply for the open job at Nekomi. She seemed excited about this and politely wished me good luck. Then she disappeared into the back kitchen, presumably to start work.

Megumi apologized for drifting off into shoptalk with Sora, and we left for another round of shopping. By this time, the bags were getting heavy, so I hailed a cab and paid him to deliver the goods to my new home, despite Skuld's offer to 'transport' them back.

I didn't know that she had that power yet, the power to transport objects other than herself!! Once more, I was learning about the difference between the manga characters and their real life counterparts. Next, we went into the 'funky' men's clothing store. Megumi made a whole list of tasteful suggestions and I bought them all, even the ones I was unfamiliar with. Skuld acted every bit the little girl, obviously getting bored at all the attention I was getting from Megumi. I knew nothing about what was considered stylish in Japan, so I trusted Megumi on this one. I got a few clothes on my own initiative, with Megumi's reaction varying from distaste to humor to what looked like feminine appreciation. Skuld was becoming sarcastic at this point, so I teased her about being 'childish'. She looked at me with a mixture of anger and hurt. I felt guilty and apologized to her, indicating that I knew she was bored and that I would try to make it up to her.

"Ice Cream!" Skuld shouted, and we went to an ice cream parlor. I got Skuld some boxes of frozen ice cream bars to take home, which she transported immediately.

It was late in the afternoon and I asked Megumi to take me to a place she liked to buy her own clothes at. There, I humored her into trying on an outfit that she had been considering, and then I surprised her and bought it.

"I hope you don't mind this as a thank-you for all your help today," I explained. I didn't want her to feel obligated or weird about it. Fortunately, she assented. I was grateful once again that I often appeared 'harmless' to women. Don Juan or Narahira, I'm not.

I asked the two if they could hold out long enough so that I could visit the music shop. Megumi looked at me tiredly and said she would. I went to the music shop and bought several digital and analogue synthis, a mixer, a music computer, some sequencers and drum machines, and a host of effects circuits and pedals. A good portion of the gear was at the store. The manager got on the phone to Akibahara and located the rest of what I needed. Megumi was mystified by the whole process.

I was elated! While I was trying out equipment, Skuld was confounding the manager of the place by asking some very technical questions about the electronics. It was such a trip watching this 12ish year-old girl befuddling the 'music instrument guru'. He kept telling her, "I don't know how it works!" then he would pound out some bit on the keyboard from a J-pop or American House music song. What I finally assembled for my home studio was far better than my setup in Honolulu! Megumi asked me what all of this electronics was for and I confessed that I was a musician.

"Megumi, to you, all the mechanical parts of a car or some other vehicle make sense as a whole, as well as individually. The end result is that it runs faster and more efficiently than before. To me, music serves as the mechanics; these instruments, when combined, create a better whole. We're both creators in the process of developing what is to be revealed...the only difference is for you, motorcycles rule, and for me, music rules."

"Yeah! I have been interested in cars and bikes since I was a little girl. Keiichi used to tease me, and the other girls used to call me a 'tomboy' because of it. I guess it is a male sorta thing. But a good mechanic cannot live by testosterone alone. I have definitely earned my keep in the motor racing club. Being Keiichi's younger sister is hard sometimes, especially if some guy is hitting on me...he can be kinda protective sometimes. Big Brother Syndrome, y'know. Besides, I love to create new engine configurations, even if Skuld thinks she's better at it than me!" she disclosed.

I felt sad for her when she mentioned the teasing; I had repeatedly read that childhood taunting in Japan was brutal...one of the ways that the 'nail that stands tall gets hammered down', to use a Japanese colloquialism.

"That's cause I am better than you!" Skuld had overheard our conversation. The two argued for a moment about who was the 'real winner' in the Robot Wars competition they held three years ago, while I paused for a second to let Megumi's revelation sink in. Megumi was single! Keiichi had an older-brother protective streak in him. I then decided that I could not in clear conscience 'hit on' Megumi. It would cause more problems than it was worth. Then I thought about her being single...and my own loneliness opened up like a devouring maw. I flashed an expression of deep disappointment which Megumi noticed.

"You okay, Cevn? You look pretty down. Getting tired of shopping?"

"No...well maybe. Really, though, I just felt a little sadness when you mentioned that you didn't have a boyfriend right now. I'll make it one of my tasks to help you any way I can to change this fact." I panicked for a moment, because I realized my ambiguity could be taken in the wrong way by her. But, despite the half-truth, I did feel saddened that such a unique young girl would be without a match.

"She's too 'uppity' for most guys; they can't see beyond her ambition and high self-esteem; doubtless it threatens them," I observed to myself.

Megumi's confident and cheerful "thanks" was all I needed to confirm that she didn't interpret my remark as a sexual come-on. I silently thanked her for a small miracle. Skuld seemed interested in an oscillator circuit that would analyze the harmonic properties of a sound and graph it. She looked at me pleadingly and I went ahead and bought it for her. She could have easily asked one of her sisters to simply conjure it up, but she seemed rather pleased to see a mortal actually spend mortal money and give it to her.

On the way home on the bus, Megumi stunned me again with a new round of confessions.

"Cevn, I think it's good that you are here with us. I'm really glad we spent the day together." Her eyes started to tear up and I wondered if she was still reeling from the effects of the loss of her teacher.

"You know, being with you...is kinda like having an older brother," she confessed. If I would have been drinking a juice at that moment, I would have choked on it. I was stunned by her comparison.

"But you already have Keiichi, he's your older brother."

"Yes, but we're so close in age, sometimes...it doesn't feel that way. Sometimes, it feels...the other way around, you know. Like I'm his older sister. He always comes to me for advice about how he should treat Belldandy. He can be so nice, but yet he can also lack self-confidence. With an older guy, oops, I don't mean an old guy...I mean, with you in the house, maybe he could learn more confidence. A lot of his confidence comes from Belldandy and his racing club, but I wish more would come from within. Also..."

Megumi voiced her concerns about Keiichi, how she had noticed that, for all his assets, he had such a low regard for himself. "Maybe, you could teach him how to feel better about himself. That would really make me happy!" This was a huge, no, a weighty request. I barely knew Keiichi! I mused over the possibility of having Megumi as an 'adopted' younger sister. She was a sweet, spirited smart young woman. She had been clever and brave enough to suggest that I apply to N.I.T. to fill in for Yamashita-sensei. And she had been nice to me ever since I arrived.

Skuld chimed in unexpectedly, "Sometimes Urd doesn't seem like my older sister either! And sometimes, Belldandy can be...so naive!"

Megumi paused for several moments, the sounds of the bus interior seeming to stretch the quiet. She straightened up a little and continued.

"Also, I would like to feel what it is like to have an older brother-type man in my life. Like a real older brother, several years older, whose strength and wisdom I could rely on." I coughed a nervous laugh at that last remark.

"The guys at school, my sempai, they just don't seem very mature. But I have this feeling about you...that you seem to know a lot about people," she added.

I must have looked at her with a hint of embarrassment. She seemed to be confusing 'older brother' with a father figure. And she definitely had me on a pedestal, for some unknown reason.

"You really do! I have been watching you in the process of moving in and getting to know us the past couple days. You have a good sense of humor, a positive outlook, you don't drink or do any drugs, and you really seem to be a good listener!"

"Megumi, you and I come from two totally different cultures, each with different expectations on family members, family values, and all sorts of other stuff, like dating, friendship..." I replied, hoping to inject some realism into Megumi's idealistic perspective.

"So what? In a way, Cevn, that is exactly why I'm asking you to do this for me. You could show me a lot of different ways to look at things...and I could do the same for you...we could both benefit!"

I hadn't considered this point. I would need a close friend right away to help me get grounded in my new environment...and Megumi had been kind to me. But how would Keiichi interpret her curiosity towards me? Could I trust myself, knowing that on my initial impression I naturally sensed a flashpoint romantic inclination towards this attractive Japanese girl? Unease around women had always made it quite impossible for me to engage a women in romantic terms. But in conflicts of morals and desire, remaining in a situation that preserved this conflict was tempting fate.

But I had put what I thought was morally good in front of my own desires for a girlfriend a lot of times. Many women new to NA came with very low self-esteem; knowing only how to offer sex to receive the slightest semblance of love. I had never taken advantage of that vulnerability...instead I educated many women on how to have intimate friendships with men without sex. So I was inclined to think that I could do the right thing. But what about Keiichi? How would he appreciate being usurped somewhat as older brother? For that matter, would he feel resentful against Megumi for deigning him inadequate as an older brother?

Megumi seemed to anticipate this concern.

"Don't worry about Keiichi, he won't mind. He really likes you, even if he hasn't said so yet. Besides, I know he would appreciate having me 'out of his hair' some of the time, so he can spend some more time with Belldandy. Plus, you would have the privilege of getting to know me really well!" She looked at me with pleading brown eyes, and I saw her need in an instant. She wasn't joking, she really needed an guy somewhat older to discuss things with.

Skuld looked over at her and scowled. Megumi smiled at me and mock-pleaded, grabbing me by the sleeve, "C'mon Cevn! Pleassse!"

Normally, a woman grabbing me like that would have been enough to spin me out and cause me to flee the scene, just do whatever it took to get away to somewhere safe. But oddly, I didn't feel the drowning tides of anxiety. As for Megumi, I could see that she had reflected on this somewhat; it wasn't just a impulsive whim. But what could I do to help her? She was also on the bridge years between adolescence and adulthood. So was Keiichi, for that matter. Having an adult mentor might ease the transition.

I never had a younger sister. Suddenly it occurred to me that this was an opportunity to make up that deficit in my life. It would be good for me to have an affilial non-sexual tie with a woman, along the lines of an intense friendship. In the past few years, several women that I was attracted to had wanted me to be in their lives as a good friend rather than a boyfriend. Despite my disappointment at being passed over as boyfriend material, I learned a lot from these women. Having Megumi as an adopted younger sister would be great, I decided!

About this time, Skuld interrupted to inform us, "I've gotten along okay all this time without an older brother! Older brothers--who needs 'em?"

"Well, you really don't know what you're missing out on, Skuld!" Megumi countered. Skuld stuck her tongue out at this remark and Megumi pulled a face at her in response.

I could see the solicitous look in Megumi's eyes. I had no doubt of her sincerity. How could I turn down a request like this?

"All right, I'll be your adopted older brother, on one condition...that you be my hanai younger sister!" Megumi inquired about what hanai meant and I told her that in Hawaiian culture it meant the same thing as 'adopted', pretty much. She was all smiles as she clapped her hands excitedly, then gave me a tight hug.

"I'll will work hard to try to teach your older brother to feel better about himself. I think I know how I can go about doing this." Megumi looked at me with gratitude. She affectionately rested her head against my shoulder while holding my arm, to seal our filial agreement. Skuld looked at us with obvious distaste.

I asked Skuld how she was planning to help out with the upcoming race next week, hoping that this would bring her out of her funk. She had been a good girl while we were shopping, and I thanked her for offering to transport the stuff I bought today. She and Megumi excitedly told me that they were going to work on the solar panels, which was one of the most crucial components of the racer. The bus reached our stop and we three got off and walked towards the temple.

"Older brothers...who needs 'em!"

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

I heard the excited voices about a block before we reached the temple. Once inside the temple gate, I beheld a flurry of activity. There were N.I.T. Motor Club members hunched in a circle around what looked like a futuristic vehicle. It was really cool-looking: built low to the ground, emphasizing aerodynamics, with flared rows of solar cells in the back. Looking towards our temple house, I could see a crowd inside, poring over what looked like charts and diagrams.

Skuld and Megumi grew visibly animated as they saw the racer. Keiichi was crouched near the front, sanding around the face of the car. Others were in the rear, painting the chassis. He looked at us walking towards him and his eyes grew hard for a moment as he noticed that Megumi was walking close, too close to me. Normally, I would be freaked out at a beautiful young woman like Megumi being so close to me, but with our new understanding it was tolerably comfortable. I read a look of suspicion and warning on his face. His expression seemed to say "don't you be hitting on my little sister!" Megumi wasn't kidding about that protective streak!

Megumi chose this moment to put her hand in mine and announce, "Keiichi, meet my new adopted older brother. Guess that makes him your adopted brother too!" An initial look of confusion, then relief mixed with distaste traced across Keiichi's visage.

I added with a shrug, "it was her idea, don't blame me!" I glanced back at the house to catch Urd shooting me a scathing look. What's up with her? I wondered.

Keiichi seemed to be in an accepting mood; he stood up and mock-bowed to me. I playfully punched him in the arm, while Megumi shouted, "You two knock it off, I don't want my brother's fighting!" We both looked at her and humored her, "Yes ma'am!" She hugged us both and reminded Keiichi, "I'm sorry, but I have to visit our aunt tonight, so I won't be able to stay around and work on the solar panel angles." Keiichi looked downcast at this. Megumi would be sorely missed.

Skuld shouted, stroking her pigtails excitedly, "I can do it! Let me work on it! C'mon, please? I helped design it!"

"Well we can't exactly say 'no' to one of the co-designers of the solar cell assembly, now can we?" Keiichi answered with a wink. Skuld jumped excitedly up and down, her hands held together in front of her heart. It cheered me to see the sensitive Skuld display such rambunctious joy!

Megumi kissed me on the cheek and excused herself. I heard Keiichi mutter, "My sister and her crazy ideas! I wonder how she came up with this one..." while his buddies laughed. Keiichi started to introduce me to his friends when Tamiya and Ootaki walked over.

Tamiya was about 6'4" and built like a NFL football player. He was possibly of Ainu heritage, as he had the strong, rugged facial features and darker complexion that Ainus are known for. He was dressed in a muscle T-shirt, a pair of Russian combat fatigues and military boots. Ootaki was a couple of inches shorter than I was, but his vertically moussed hair made him look taller than Tamiya. He was skinny, dressed in a studded leather jacket covering a Metallica T-shirt, black jeans and spray-painted Nikes.

I looked at several club members and decided to have a joke at the expense of Keiichi's sempai. I knew that they were driving him nuts sometimes, so I thought I would strike back on his behalf. I decided to play a little trick on the two older sempai.

Earlier, Keiichi had been telling me that they were badgering him with consistent bickering about design concerns, even when they didn't know anything about what was being discussed. He had confided in me that he was ready to pull his hair out a couple of times this week. I caught Keiichi's eye and winked.

"Hey Tamiya! Hey Ootaki! How'z it goin' dudes? I'm Cevn, Keiichi and Megumi's older brother! I'm living here with them now!" I tipped my newly purchased red beret to them while Keiichi looked at me in disbelief for a moment. I winked at him and he stopped his sanding to watch the comedy unfold. This casual introduction had the desired effect. Tamiya's mouth went agape with surprise, while his eyes bulged with suspicion. Ootaki's eyebrows shot up above his trademark round mirrored shades, while his tied-on smile went flat.

"What! Who are yuh? How do yuh know who we are? Whattya doin' here. Yuh're...Keiichi's older brother? Keiichi don' have an older brutha!" Tamiya sputtered out.

I replied. "It's no joke. I'm with Urd too, by the way!" Tamiya in particular reacted to this, shaking his head in shock.

Urd looked me over with distaste and acridly shouted from the house, "I heard that! He's definitely not one of mine!"

By this time, Keiichi had noticed the surprise and panic growing on the faces of his sempai and was choking with laughter at the inside joke, to my great satisfaction. This would take a little bit of the edge off of him.

"See how she likes to nag me!" I quickly interjected. Tamiya was halted in his tracks.

"Yuh with Urd? No way! How do yuh know my name? Yuh ain't no spy from another solar team, are yuh?"

Keiichi had watched the entire proceeding develop, and by this time had fallen backwards on the ground laughing hysterically. Ootaki looked at him and exclaimed, "What are you laughing at?"

Meanwhile, Tamiya eyed me. His comment about 'spy' caused me some concern as to what was developing in his mind. He underwent a gradual transformation from motor club sempai to WWF wrestler. Suspicion gave way to aggression and he started walking towards me, looking like a bull ready to charge.

"Oh great, he can't take a joke! He's going to kill me!," I thought in panic. "Damn, this is backfiring, and quick." I hastily thought of ways to salvage the situation before I got Tamiya-punched.

Right before Tamiya got to me, Keiichi interjected, "Hey guys, this is Cevn, our new house-guest! He's my sister's good friend, she sees him as an adopted older brother. He's living here temporarily...and Urd only brought him here from Hawaii. I told him all about you. Don't worry, Urd's still single, guys!" Tamiya stood in front of me and eyed me. I didn't blink down, but met his stare.

"He's going to apply to teach at N.I.T. next week, so don't do anything radical to him, Tamiya. He may be your teacher next year."

"What? Him my teacher? He's applying to N.I.T? What is duh world comin' to?" He looked at me again. "No way...he ain't no teacher. He looks too much like Ootaki, if Ootaki didn't do that girly mousse stuff to his hair like dem guys do in Harajuku."

Ootaki flipped him off while I felt the drift of Megumi and Sora's little 'inside joke' sink in.

"Those two...flaky chicks!" I thought resentfully as Tamiya continued in what was clearly his 'rant mode'. Skuld had even been in on their little 'joke'!

"Ah heard that N.I.T. was goin' downhill, but if dey have ta consider some freaky guy like dis...dey's sinkin' fast! If dey actually hire him, ah'm goin' ta demand theyz give me muh tuition back!" This drew a rousing round of laughter from everybody; I noticed Keiichi couldn't keep himself from joining in. Tamiya looked at them, then at me.

"Yuh 'brother' even thinks dis is funny!"

"Touché, Tamiya. Now we're even." I was smiling at him, and I offered a hand. He shook my hand, trying to crush it in his grip, and I responded by bearing down on his hand hard. He smiled at me in respect.

"Guy's gotta decent handshake, he can't be all that bad!"

Ootaki came over and said, "Cool threads, dude!" which brought down the house with laughter. I suddenly realized that I was dressed in a mix of Japanese and American clothes. I slapped him on the shoulder and shook his hand. Megumi saw that I was in an embarrassing predicament and she grabbed me and escorted me back to the house while the laughter continued. Keiichi seemed perplexed. I heard him say to the others, "My sister and her weird ideas. What is she up to this time?"

After Megumi picked some clothes for me, I returned to the gang of car freaks. I apparently was a hit with a number of the motor club members. They were pumping me for information about Hawaii; what I was hoping to do if I got hired at N.I.T.; if I knew anything about mechanics...

But I didn't know anything about N.I.T. and even less about motor mechanics. I excused myself, because I was looking forward to starting to put together my 'studio'.

When I entered the living room, I saw Belldandy playing the role of hostess, keeping everyone supplied with trays of candies and cakes and doing rounds with coffee, tea and sweetmeats. Urd was reclined in a chair in the corner of the room, cradling a bottle of Tamanohikari sake. All over the floor, people were seated on futons looking over design specs for the racer. My pile of boxes was catching some attention from a few of the members. There were about 10 members inside, as opposed to the 15 or so outdoors. Sora Hasegawa was laying on the floor, discussing something animatedly with a guy who wore a cheapo Noh mask on the side of his head.

I told Belldandy that I was going to put the boxes in my room.

"Oh no, you don't need to do that! Why don't you just use the room next to yours at the end of the hall for it?" I was stunned! They were going to give me my own 'hobby room'! As if she read my thoughts, Belldandy added, "Well, everyone has their own extra room except Megumi, who doesn't want one...so it would only be fair if we offered you one. Keiichi and I discussed it, and it's okay with us!"

I thanked her profusely (and thanked Keiichi mentally) for their consideration. I'm sure I had the look of a kid before Christmas as I started hauling boxes to the back of the hallway.

I spent the next several hours unpacking. Besides having a lot of musical components, I had bought what seemed like kilos of different cables. Foam, cardboard and plastic baggies was everywhere. It was all confusing at first, but a system design began to form in my mind and I started setting up. I was tempted to play around with some of the keyboards and samplers, but I kept focused on the task at hand. I was giddy with excitement, and almost dropped the Synclavier IV workstation.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Around 11 pm, the group decided to call it a night. Tamiya announced to all that they were going to have a pre-race party.

"And where's that going to be?" Keiichi asked.

"Why, here of course! Everybody's all already here, so we should camp out da night here and party!" His sempai's seniority made this a command, not a suggestion.

"Great!" thought a disenchanted Keiichi.

"Ooooh, a party here," remarked an excited Belldandy, innocently. Keiichi rolled his eyes at his girlfriend's naivety. Urd broke out the bottles, and then went to Cevn's room.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

About 11:30pm, the work crews broke up. I heard a few people drive off, and it seemed like everyone was in the house. Then I heard Tamiya bellow, "Let's PARTY! The party's goin' to happen right here!" I heard Keiichi argue with him briefly, then surrender to the fact that as club president, Tamiya wasn't making it a request.

A few moments later, a harried Keiichi knocked, then slid my door open.

"Hey, it looks like you're coming along pretty well with all this stuff. We've called it a night and we're having a party. Why don't you come join us?" I shook my head no and explained that I was in the middle of some 'engineering' myself. Keiichi looked at the hoards of musical equipment appraisingly, then smiled and left to go back to the celebration.

The door slid open again.

"Hey, we're goin' to have a party, c'mon and join us, honey. Or don't they party wherever you came from...uh...wot...oh yeah, Hawaii," a female voice tinged with inebriate gaiety announced.

Urd came in my 'hobby room' and pulled my by the arm. After some resistance, I agreed, feeling that it would be good to socialize a little and get on good terms with the friends of the house.

So I let Urd drag me out by the arm and usher me into the living room, where Ootaki had set up a boombox...which was blaring heavy metal and J-Pop. She grabbed a bottle of sake and poured everyone a glass, took a swig, then poured me a glass and held it out to me.

"Urd, I told you that I don't drink!" Trying to ignore her, I looked around the room, curious to see what these guys considered a 'party'. I saw about 15 people talking, dancing, airguitaring and playing darts. Ootaki's boombox was set up on an end table, blaring distorted sonic mayhem.

"No doubt, the work of Ootaki," I commented.

As a recovering addict, I usually was on edge at parties, just because of the immediacy of drugs like alcohol and marijuana. Fortunately, only a couple club members and Urd seemed to be seeking oblivion in the bottle; thankfully there was no wafting pot smoke or cigarettes. Keiichi and Belldandy must keep a smoke-free house, I surmised. Urd came over and proffered another glass of sake to me, spilling some on me.

"C'mon and have a glass with me, Cevn! Let's PARTY!"

"Urd, I don't need that stuff to party. Besides it looks like you're well on your way with..." I glanced at the bottle she was holding "...Ol' Kentucky Demon."

I thought to myself, "what an odd name for booze?" But this was Japan, and I knew from reading many Japanese magazines that they often came up with wild English monikers for brand names, like 'Green Polar Bear Ice Cream Earthquake'.

"Have a glass with me, please? Just one glass!" Urd continued.

I thanked her and refused the glass she proffered me, telling her that I didn't want any sake, whether it was offered by her or anyone else.

"Well why not! You some kinda lightweight, aren't you? You don't like women, you don't drink...hmmm, what do you do for fun?"

"Urd, I don't need anything in me to help me have fun."

"You must be one of those guys that simply sits and does nothing at a party. Whatta bore you must be!"

For the next few hours, I disproved her point by chatting and joking with the Club members. I noted with some satisfaction that several of them didn't drink at all, Sora Hasegawa among them. So I spent a lot of time with this group. I mingled between circles of conversation. Ootaki was playing airguitar, Tamiya was harassing some of the new members, Sora was dancing by herself, and there was an interesting game of go happening between Skuld and some young guy.

I decided to hang out with the partygoers for the duration. One by one, they dropped off. Earlier, I saw Keiichi and Belldandy slip out the door to be by themselves. I smiled at them as they left and Belldandy placed a finger over her mouth as if to say, 'shhhh, don't tell anyone' while Keiichi gave me the V-sign.

It was about 3:30 and the party had definitely wound down. Skuld had returned to her lab to work on her invention, having beat the local Go expert eleven games in a row. Earlier, I had pulled out a number of futons and blankets from the oshiire, assuming that this was a sleepover. The closet was packed with futons. Most of the club members were crashed out on the futons. I went in the kitchen to get a soda when I was halted by a wobbly Urd. Halted was too polite a term...Urd had basically planted herself in the entryway, blocking my path to the fridge.

She was wasted on whatever she had been drinking. Once more, she insisted that I have a glass with her. Once more I refused. I felt sad for this beautiful woman, who was brought low by her drinking. She wasn't beautiful like this, she was definitely unappealing.

"Oh come on, shweetie. Lib a little! Here, hab a glash of zis an we'll ring...hiccup...ring in da nite togesher!" I shook my head at her as she squinted at me, then pushed the bottle in my face. I pushed her arm away.

"Urd, I don't drink. Get with it, I DON'T DRINK!! Look...I don't need that stuff! Thanks anyway." I backed up against the kitchen counter as she walked right up to me.

She looked at me, less than a foot away, and then pushed the glass against my chest. I slapped it away and it fell to the floor and shattered. "Now look wha you made me do! Whaz matter wit you? Ahhh, I know, K-e-v-i-n!" she said, deliberately misspelling my name.

Her voiced sobered up as she went on an angry drunken word spree.

"Ahhh, Urd knows all! You can't handle life, so you just lay down on the ground and let it pass you by. Let's see...you're scared of women, you don't like to drink, you don't smoke...you must like being miserable! You're too afraid to live life up, because you have to hide behind your narrow morals and perfectionism. No wonder you're single! A nice-looking man like you should have a woman. But you're too afraid of that, aren't you? I bet you did some bad things with women in your past. Why don't you just go back to hiding in your room! It's like you aren't even here...you're so pathetic!"

I started to confront her, but Urd got even more vicious and started yelling at me.

"What a waste! You have so much potential and you're afraid to use it. Life is a party, you idiot! Why can't you drink? Oh, I know that one already. 'I'm a drug addict, blah blah blah'!." I looked at her in shock...how did she know that? I didn't tell her anything about my addiction!

"That's a crock of shit! The only thing you're good at is hiding, Cevn. I know what you are! You are a loser, a coward. You're a poor excuse for a human being. You're weak! I don't like you, you're nothing but a worthless pile of..."

"Urd, don't start in on me anymore!" I warned her. She chose to ignore me and kept on. Finally, I had heard enough and bumped my way past her, walking off. I felt sorry for Urd; burying some kind of hurt by resorting to getting drunk like this. As I walked off, I felt a strong hand grip my shoulder and turn me around.

"WHAT!"

Urd pointed a shaky finger in my face and said, "You're a half-wit loser, a prize fool!" I heard her voice only faintly while in my memory I saw my parents echoing her words, telling me how worthless I was.

I had taken enough at this point and I interrupted her.

"Urd, unlike you, I can face my pain. You said I was weak when you first met me. But I'm not. You're the weak one! You are too indecisive to face whatever is inside of you that is so troubling. Instead, you hide yourself in this stuff!" I knocked the bottle out of her hand in rage.

"You would be a wonderful person to get along with, but you're impulsive, self-centered, indecisive, greedy, and a boor when you're drunk. Not to mention that all your beauty is for naught, because you're so messed up. You may act the flirtatious virago, but no one in their right mind would want you when you're like this! No wonder you're the Goddess of Mischief!"

She raised a hand as if to slap me.

"You don't have a clue about what you're talking about! You're the one who is hiding! You hide behind getting drunk, by acting sexy, by trying to meddle in everyone's affairs, by doing without thinking. Inside, I know that you are really hurting. But the sad thing is you don't!. If you had any maturity, you would know that weakness is that condition which strength blossoms out of. But you're too busy fooling yourself and everyone around you to see that. And to think that you are a Goddess, but yet you set such a poor example!" She turned pepper-red in the face. Her open hand became a fist, and I thought she might punch me. But I ignored her and continued.

"You push away people who care about you because you're afraid. Everyone does that a little, but you have mastered the art of the insult. You have become so self-centered that you do it automatically. You can't hide in sake or in sexy outfits, Urd! You could be a beautiful woman...but instead you are totally unappealing when you are like this. Repulsive may be a better word. It really hurts me to see you throw your so-called divine life down the tubes like this!"

Urd screamed, "You...think...I'm ugly!! I, who am the most beautiful being in the universe! So you think I'm some kinda wino? You are the loser here, Cevn. Mortal trash!" Her face changed from rage to determination. She grinned maliciously at me.

"But I'm going to change that. You need a serious attitude adjustment. Your perspective is all wrong, Cevn. You need to party like the rest of us!" I felt the air around me suddenly become solid, pressing in on me from all sides. For a moment, I thought she was going to smother me or crush me.

"Urd, don't do this," I cried out with a panic warmed caution as I felt an invisible hand grip me around the chest and pin me to the wall in the dining room, fifteen feet away. My injured ribs from our first encounter cried out in breath stealing agony. I felt a foreboding sense of doom. I looked and saw that Urd was losing it...red and green sparks were flying all over her.

"Urd, you don't want to do this!" I tried to yell, my breath being squeezed out of me. But Urd has an air of angry determination.

"Oh, yes I do! I've already decided that what you need is to get really snotty-faced drunk! This will be one night you won't forget! I'm going to make you regret everything you said about me! Hope you enjoy strong sake!" she said with a menacing leer.

"Urd...stop!" I felt a powerful force pulling me forth, then it slammed me back against the wall, pinning me like a rag doll. I pleaded with my eyes as a bottle of strong sake materialized inches from my nose. She waved her hand and my mouth came open of its own accord.

Sake poured down my throat. There was nothing I could do about it. I sputtered and gagged as the acrid vile tasting booze ran down inside of me. I couldn't breathe from the pressing crush on my chest, and the sake filled my lungs as I gasped for air. I tried everything I could to stop it, but the bottle was pouring, choking me. I retched and then vomited. As soon as I finished puking, the bottle floated up again and disgorged more of its contents into my mouth. I tried to close my throat, but the sake jetted down it.

"My recovery is ruined," I observed wretchedly, feeling utterly defeated.

"One down, three to go!" Urd announced with drunken glee. Three! That could kill me! I looked around for help; everyone was asleep. I tried to yell, and Urd somehow took my shout away.

As the second bottle emptied into my throat, I felt myself losing control. I was getting drunk for the first time in 11 years. I couldn't stop the feeling washing over me; the familiar, much-feared sensation of losing control. In panic, I felt my long-dormant active addiction rear its ugliness in full force. I felt gusts of anger, fear and crazy abandonment. My mind began to blur and my emotions fired. I saw Urd and felt explosions of resentment. This was rape, pure and simple. The spiritual essence of my recovery was being wantonly violated against my will. I wanted to die. My shirt was soaked with booze. My inhibitions were slowly disappearing. In my mind, I screamed "NOOOOOoooo!" Everything that was good about me was drifting out of my being.

"Two down, two to go!"

The unreality of this situation hit me full force. This can't be happening! It felt like my sanity was being ripped away by the effects of the liquor. My senses clouded into dizziness as the third bottle emptied into me. To my disgust, I was no longer resisting it, I was liking it!

As I was being force-fed the third bottle, a change came over me. I wanted more! I was no longer in control. My addiction had full reign over my consciousness. I felt long buried cravings assert themselves. I wanted to get wasted into oblivion! Fighting the restraining air-grip, I grabbed the fourth bottle from mid-air and chugged deeply.

Then I yelled, "You want to see loaded? You want to see me get wasted? I'll show you! You wanna see me crazy? Well here's crazy! Lookit this!"

I finished the bottle and threw it against the wall, where it smashed with satisfying loudness. This woke up everybody in the living room. I grabbed another bottle from somewhere and quickly chugged it down, then brought up most of it with a doubling up retch.

"Ah, heheh, that's more like it, honey!" Urd started laughing hysterically, bounding around the kitchen. She stagger-dashed into the living room and fell back into the chair in the corner, draping her long legs over one of the armrests. My vision started getting fuzzy. People were looking at me with shock.

Violent, hateful thoughts crossed my mind as I staggered into the living room, picked up a lamp and threw it through a window. The sound of breaking glass and wood was satisfying to my ears. I started ranting about how much I hated life, and then I loosed a round of invective towards Urd, who was still laughing uncontrollably, mocking me with her burst of mirth. I saw blurs of motion as people were pouring out of the living room.

"You think you're funny? I hate you, Urd! I hope this amuses you," I screamed as I picked up a floor lamp and heaved it at her. She warded it off with a flick of her wrist.

"This is great! He's going amok and doesn't even know why! He's tearing up the place!"

I turned towards the sound and saw a second Urd in the other corner of the room. She was duplicating herself. I started cursing Urd #2. Both Urds laughed at me...the more they laughed, the more I thought they were making fun of me. I resentfully recalled Urd telling me that I was a loser.

People were running out of the room in panic. All I heard was mocking laughter echoing off the walls. I picked up a chair and flung it through the front door, just to hear the destructive effect of shattering wood and glass. This roused Tamiya's ire.

Tamiya stood up and started towards me, shouting, "Ah'm going to settle you down, yuh goofball! What'ya think you're doin', wreckin' Keiichi's house like this! Ah'm gonna nail ya for that!"

I grabbed a nearby sake bottle and crashed it over my head. Turning the broken edges towards him, I screamed at the top of my lungs.

"C'mon Tamiya! Take one step closer and I'll cut your heart out and feed it to you down your throat!" I saw Tamiya stop, his aggression rapidly disappearing into outright fear.

"Yuh're crazy. Ah'm callin' the cops!" He backed away slowly along the wall, then turned to go to the dining room. I picked up a stool chair and threw it at him. It bounced off the wall and clipped him on the leg as he rounded the corner.

I heard taunting laughter piercing down into my very soul. I staggered towards one of the Urds and swiped at her with the broken bottle. It passed right thru her.

"What?" I thought. Two Urds! And one is invisible? She must be replicating herself to add to my frustration.

"That's it, keep it up! Hahahah! This is totally great! You must have some Demonic blood in you! You're crazy with pain! Here, you want to get loaded...we'll up the ante...have some heroin and some nightmares! Hope you enjoy every minute of it! I'm going to really get you wound up now!"

I felt two works spike me in the arms and the last remnant of recovering addict in me screamed "NOOOOO!" I ripped one needle out and threw it at one of the Urds; it bounced harmlessly off the wall. Blood squirted down my arm. Immediately, I felt the nausea well up, and I doubled over, dry heaving into the floor despite being bloated with sake. The analgesic effect of the dope was filling me, and I started to not care anymore about anything.

"Heh heh, you like pain, don't you! I knew you were part Demon...here's some more pain for ya!" Images flooded my memory like slides in a slide show. The worst nightmarish experiences. Being beaten with a belt until my back with slick with blood. Locked away for hours in a dark closet. Being forced to eat my own vomit after I had thrown up some food that I couldn't force myself to like to eat. Sleeping outdoors in subzero whether with only a hair dryer to keep my feet and hands warm. I felt swallowed up by the darkness inside of me.

I saw Banpei roll in the room and try to restrain me with his mechanical arms. I picked up a metal lamp and hit him in the head with it, denting his head. Then I grabbed a nearby metal stool and smashed it over his robot head, knocking his 'cap' clear off and crushing his face, sparks flying everywhere.

I tipped over a table, falling down, and saw Keiichi and Belldandy standing in the doorway, their faces transfixed by the traumatic scene. I staggered over and grabbed a folding chair and heaved it at them, missing them by several feet. I raved at them, and then I felt the dope 'rush', making everything foggy and slow motioned. I turned to one of the Urds, and saw a terrified Skuld dash across the room out of the corner of my eye. I grabbed a small end table and blindly threw it at her. She ran into the doorway and hid behind Keiichi and Belldandy.

Things turned gray--my sight and hearing started to fade. I fell to my knees, wanting to strike out in pain at something, anything. I crawled towards the nearest laughing Urd and pushed her chair over, dumping her on the ground unceremoniously. I grabbed a bottle and tried to hit her with it as she started kicking me in the chest and arms. There was still one Urd laughing, and I pitched the bottle at her. I grabbed my head and screamed in agony. I heard someone yell, "Damn you, Mara!" as everything went black.

-- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- -- --

Keiichi knew trouble was brewing when Tamiya bellowed, "Let's party here!"

He muttered his reluctance to Belldandy, "With these guys, there's always an 'event' at one of their parties." Resigned to fate, he decided that the safest course of action was to pull Belldandy away and avoid the craziness.

They snuck out unnoticed by everyone but Cevn. Urd was woozily sprawled in a chair in the corner of the room. Keiichi couldn't remember when she had been so out of it, except during the time when Yggdrasil crashed and she had to drink sake constantly to maintain her power.

Belldandy and Keiichi sat on a rock, calmly talking about the upcoming race, hand in hand. She looked radiant in the moonlight, Keiichi noticed. Almost glowing. The embodiment of all that was right with things.

After a couple hours of calm, Keiichi started hearing crashing noises in the house.

"Well, I knew it. Having those guys over would be trouble...I wonder if Tamiya and Ootaki are wrestling around in there," he wondered. Then he heard a loud crash, unmistakably a window being broke. He looked at Belldandy with uneasy eyes.

Belldandy heard the crash and felt a very disturbing feeling deep inside of her.

"There's something very wrong here, Keiichi-san!" she suddenly shouted. As if to confirm her intuition, people started rushing out of the house as if their lives depended on it. Keiichi heard several crashes and maniacal screaming.

They both gave a start when Tamiya dashed up to them, limping.

"Da new guy, he's gone crazy! He's destroying da place! He threatened ta kill me, so I tried to call da cops, but da phone was dead! He hit me in da leg with a chair! Whatta we goin' ta do?"

Keiichi and Belldandy both paled at this news and joined him as he ran towards the house; all three were filled with renitence. As they gathered in the doorway, shock overwhelmed them once they surveyed the scene in front of their eyes. Inside, everything was madness. Belldandy could hear her older sister laughing hysterically. Cevn was in the middle of the room, his face and right arm covered with blood, raving about 'being loaded'.

"What's wrong with you, Urd?" Belldandy worriedly shouted. The living room looked like a crime scene where a murder had taken place. Keiichi and Bell could hear crazed laughter echoing across the room. Cevn saw them and ranted, then picked up a piece of furniture and threw it right at them! Belldandy reacted quickly to this and put up a shielding spell; the metal folding chair was deflected in midair, causing Tamiya to gasp with amazement.

Keiichi quickly peeked around the corner of the front doorway and saw Banpei; his metallic face was smashed in as he lay crumpled in the center of the living room near Cevn. Then he saw Skuld. She was huddling for dear life in the hallway, frightened out of her wits.

"Skuld's in there!" he shouted his worry to Belldandy.

Belldandy immediately grew angry at Cevn.

"No one does that to my little sister!" she thought, her bellicose feelings reigning unchecked.

"Urd! Why don't you help Skuld get out of there!" she yelled in the door. To her mystification, Urd only laughed louder...her shrieks of laughter echoing around in the room.

The youngest Goddess peeked around the corner of the hallway again and caught sight of her middle sister. She suddenly dashed towards the safety of her sister and Keiichi, a look of sheer terror on her face. Cevn took a small end table and heaved it at Skuld. Skuld hurdled it like an expert track runner and Keiichi moved aside to let her run past. She ducked behind Belldandy, crying hysterically.

"Why is he...snff...doing this?" she yelled between gasps of crying. "He's wrecked Banpei-kun! What is...huhsnff...wrong with him? Why is he acting crazy?" She collapsed to her knees, holding her face in her hands.

"He's...snff...scaring me to death! I hate him!"

Belldandy was so hurt by her younger sister's fright that her eyes welled up with tears. She stood tall with resolve and prepared to use divine force to stop Cevn. She said in a loud deadpan voice, "NOBODY does that to my younger sister!"

Keiichi looked at the scene in front of him, caught between stupefaction and rage. His nerves were on fire with shock, but he knew that the laughter belonged to Urd. He saw his girlfriend raise her hands up in the air, the air deforming around them.

"Wait!!" Keiichi yelled. When he had first peeked in the living room, he had noticed that Cevn had blood all over his arms, chest and face; his long hair was matted with dried blood.

"Belldandy, there's something really wrong with this!" he screamed. "Cevn's hurt pretty bad!" Before she could zap Cevn, Belldandy put her anger for on hold for a second and surveyed the situation. She heard a second source of demented laughter. Keiichi ducked partway inside the door and glimpsed Urd struggling with Cevn, who was trying to hit her on the head with a bottle of sake. Urd was no longer laughing; a look of panicked dread figured her face.

"Keiichi, help me! This maniac wants to kill me!" But there was still laughing coming from the other side of the room. Keiichi wheeled around to see whose it was.

"Damn you, Mara!" he yelled. He turned back to Urd, and saw her hunched into the corner, with Cevn collapsed several feet away.

"Yes, damned and loving it, Keiichi!"

"MARA!" Belldandy dashed in and confronted her Demonic counterpart, a frightened Skuld clinging to her. "Mara!" they both exclaimed again. Belldandy put an arm over Skuld instinctively, shielding her younger sister even more. Mara started laughing again.

"Hey Belldandy, how do you like what your new friend has done to your house? Isn't it wonderful, the power of destructive rage? He hates all of you! You heard him, didn't you? He just tried to kill your bratty little sister, but unfortunately he missed. Ha ah haha! Isn't this hilarious, what is happening here? This is better than most of the domestic fights I've instigated. He sure had made a mess of things, wouldn't you say?" Belldandy looked at her angrily.

"Mara...you...leave here now!" she said, her voice measured with livid intent.

"Try and make me! Besides, you know we're evenly matched, you ditz!" she taunted. Belldandy was overwhelmed by the scene in front of her. Trembling, she tried to shield Keiichi, Skuld and Tamiya by standing in the doorway. Mara laughed at her pitiful efforts.

"Why my dear Belldandy, you almost look like a Demon, you're so angry! Your friend here, Cevn...he's not human. He's a Demon! A Demon! That's why your pathetic little robot automaton didn't detect him when he first arrived."

Skuld bristled at Mara's dissing of Banpei. Mara looked right at her and added, "That's right...that cheap hunk of metal is so poorly constructed, it didn't even detect me! Ha haha!" Skuld dissolved into guilty tears at Mara's taunt...it was true that Banpei had somehow failed to detect Mara.

"You have a Demon in your own house and it isn't me! What's more, you already have befriended him. Man, this is rich!! Hahahaha!"

This shocked Belldandy and Keiichi. Belldandy was visibly shaking, the confusion of anger, sorrow, fear, and disbelief overwhelming her. Tears framed her eyes. Keiichi just wanted to crawl away and forget everything.

"Cevn is not a Demon!" she yelled, more to assure her doubts and defy her fears. "He is a good man...I know because I can feel it in my heart!"

"Well, your heart must be pretty confused right now because of the mess your 'good' friend has made." Mara taunted. "How is it that the brat's stupid robot couldn't detect him? Think! Why couldn't you sense any mortal waveforms from him when he first came here? That's because he isn't human. And what kind of spirit would do this kind of destruction? Not a God or Earth Spirit, of course! So what kind of spirit does that leave you to believe he is...?"

Belldandy was growing more confused. She quickly scanned Cevn and felt the very faintest indications that he was a mortal. But there was something else. He should have emanated strong mortal waveforms. Mara looked at her counterpart Goddess and grinned evilly. She's about ready to have a nervous breakdown. She's really losing it! Mara decided to stoke the flame.

"This is so wonderful!" she thought to herself as she saw the look of outright panic and confusion on her rivals' faces. Just a little more would push Belldandy over the edge! She decided to add fiction to fact.

"You know that book that he has. It's a Demon Instruction Manual! You think that your Lord has sent him here with that, but the Dark Lord actually was behind his coming here...because he's a Demon! And...I'll let you in on a little secret. Sometime in the near future, you're going to have to kill him; otherwise he'll kill you all! I'll be watching closely, Belldandy. Very closely! BWAHAHAHAHA!"

Mara raised her hands up, and disappeared in a flash of smoke, her haunting laughter remaining for a moment after her vanishing act.

Right after Mara left, Belldandy lost her composure and turned to Keiichi and started crying, her arms wrapped tightly around his shoulders as her hot tears fell on his neck. Skuld was also crying her eyes out, leaning on Belldandy and Keiichi, sobs heaving through her girl's body. Keiichi was still numbed with shock. He held both Goddesses and surveyed the mass destruction. He saw Urd try to get back in her chair and instead sprawl out on the floor.

"Urd, what did you do here?" he yelled angrily.

"I din't do anyzing!" Urd looked at him with pleading eyes, then rolled over and passed out, as if on cue.

The three of them remained huddled for mutual support for a long time while Tamiya wandered off to find Ootaki. Skuld was so shook up that she didn't want to leave her sister. She was shaking like a leave in a strong wind, her hair billowing with each tremor. Belldandy saw her younger sister's distress, making it even more difficult to regain her composure. She finally recovered herself and fixed Keiichi with a determined look.

"How could Mara do this? This is bad, even for Mara!"

Keiichi saw exhaustion written all over his girlfriend's face. Yet Belldandy was determined to solve the mystery of tonight's insanity.

"I'm going to find out who did this!" she said resentfully. She walked tentatively over to where Cevn was lying and touched her head to his.

"You're really not in a position to argue about a mind read," she said as she examined his memories.

"Oh my God!" she gasped. A look of immense emotion played across her face and she staggered backwards, almost fainting. Keiichi and Skuld rushed over to her assistance, but she waved them off.

"It was Urd who started it. Then Mara showed up after Urd got him drunk! Poor Cevn!" Belldandy stated.

"Urd got him drunk? He's allergic to sake...remember what he said at dinner," Keiichi added.

Belldandy had read Cevn's recent memory, and had experienced the 'slideshow' of horrible things that Mara had caused him to feel. She felt disgusted at the images, which brought on a surge of sympathy for this gaijin newcomer.

Keiichi decided that he needed to put these two to bed. Skuld was still in shock, glancing furtively to see if there were any intruders.

"This must have scared the wits out of her," Keiichi thought with sadness. They were both emotionally overwrought and Belldandy looked really tired.

"C'mon, we're getting you two to bed." He and Skuld helped Belldandy to her room. Skuld was still wondering what went wrong. Keiichi said to Urd's still form as he left the room, "You're going to have some explaining to do tomorrow, Urd!"

He and Skuld helped Bell to bed, then Skuld climbed in her own futon bed. He noticed that Skuld didn't protest when he remained in the sister's bedroom. Keiichi watched as Belldandy and Skuld rapidly drifted to sleep. He felt mentally fatigued as well. It bothered Keiichi that there was no one for him to turn to for support at a time like this. They could only rely on each other...and he had to be strong for Bell-chan. He felt worst for Skuld. Her child-like demeanor had been replaced with vivid terror, Keiichi had sadly noticed.

"Why does all this insanity have to happen the week before the biggest race of my life?" he wondered aloud in a quiet voice.

He walked out into the living room. Windows were smashed and bits of furniture were everywhere. He was angry with Cevn for destroying his house; yet he somehow sensed that it really wasn't his fault. Mara had been here and Belldandy said it was Urd's fault. He got a warm wet cloth and wiped the blood off of Cevn's face and arm. He found blankets for Urd and Cevn, and then covered them.

In his bedroom, Keiichi was unable to go to sleep, his mind kept questioning whether it would be wise to let Cevn stay. He seemed to be a magnet for trouble. Yet he liked Cevn, in some way. It felt great to have another guy in the house. And since Cevn was a few years older, it seemed like he might have some maturity to offer the younger Keiichi. When he wasn't wrecking the house. With this insight, he suddenly flashed on why his younger sister had made Cevn her adopted older brother.

"Things are so mixed up in my life," he thought as he faded to sleep.