Alice In Wonderland Fan Fiction ❯ Twisted Fantasy ❯ Chapter Forty Four ( Chapter 44 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Brian smiled and shook his head. "It's okay. It took Sammy a while to warm up to me to. Take your time."

"You could have hurt Alice last night," Sammy said. "She's heartbroken because of you."

"So? I didn't hurt her. In fact she rather enjoyed it." Matthew laughed, his voice echoing through the house while running his hand through his hair. "Madness it seems, is very contagious."

Alice looked at the stairs. "What...who...was that?" she whispered. It didn't sound like Matthew's laugh nor like Sammy's laugh. "Did he bring another guy home?"

Brian shook his head. "Sammy's a one man guy. At least, I always thought he was."

Alice stared at the stairs still. "Should...should we go see?"

"You can. I've got orders to make breakfast or I'm not allowed to touch Sammy," he sighed.

Alice looked at him. "I'm sure that's not true. You so touched him."

Brian smirked. "Yes, but I won't be allowed to touch him again in any naughty places." He laughed, standing he went to check on his eggs.

She couldn't help but giggle. "He did say you were rather...well...big...." She then blushed. "And from the pictures I saw he wasn't lying."

Brian groaned at that. "He showed you!? Those were suppose to be private pictures!" He hung his head in shame, throwing the eggs onto a plate. "Sammy was rather tender after our first encounter."

Alice shifted and laid her head on the bar. "I know the feeling."

"Aww, are you okay down there?" Brian pushed a plate of eggs toward her. Looking up as something loud banged upstairs followed by another haunting laugh.

Alice shot up from the stool. "Sammy!" Alice called. "Matthew!" She turned to Brian. Quickly, she dashed up the stairs. "That's not their laughs! Someone is in the house!"

Matthew looked up as he heard someone coming up the stairs. Looking over at Sammy, he shook his head. "See, now you've gone an upset her."

Sammy shook his head. "She can't see you like this."

"And why not? She's seen all of me, so she might as well...see all of me," he laughed.

Alice swung the door open. She was breathless and sore from running. In her hands was a lamp she had grabbed in the hallway. When she saw it was only Matthew and Sammy she lowered the lamp. "I thought...I could have sworn...I heard someone..."

"No, of course not," Matthew said with a smirk as he fixed his glasses. He started to button up his shirt. "We were simply talking about what happened."

Sammy slipped the watch into his pocket. "Yes, it's just the two of us."

She looked away from Matthew as she set the lamp down. "Oh...alright." Turning, she started out of the room again.

"Where are you going?" Matthew's voice was almost whimsical as he called to her.

She stopped. He...didn't sound like Matthew. Turning around she looked at him. "Breakfast...Brian made me eggs after he bandaged me..."

"Oh, I see," he whispered. He held out his arms, beckoning her to him to see if she would come.

"Don't...I told you...we aren't together anymore," she said softly and started out again.

"Why not? I thought you loved me," he pouted.

Once more she turned to him. He didn't sound like himself. "Yes I do...but it doesn't change anything. I raped you...even though your fought against me...I didn't stop. I don't want to be in that kind of relationship and you shouldn't want it either. So it's better if we just end it." Saying it out loud...it hurt more than she thought it would.

"And who's to say that I didn't enjoy it? For all you know I could like being taken advantage of," he said as he took a few steps toward her. "After all, those bite marks weren't exactly in areas that would hurt. They looked more like...pleasure bites."

She took a step back. "Stop it. Don't try and make it ok when it's not..."

"But it is okay. I'm not upset. We're both sore and beaten. I take it that we had fun. If it doesn't bother me, it shouldn't bother you." He took another step, extending his hand toward her. "Let me have a hug, Alice."

She shook her head and took another step back. "You...don't sound like yourself."

"Don't I? I think I sound reasonably well. Perhaps I've got a slight cold."

"No you don't," she said. "You sound...like...like the Hatter...like you’re mad...."

He looked offended by that, his lips poking out in a pout. "I'm not mad."

He was pouting!?! Matthew didn't show his emotions like that. She started to pace. Was she really so crazy that she was imagining him changing? Did she really belong in an asylum? Her hands began to shake. She didn't want to go back to a place like that and she didn't want to be crazy! Her hands went to her head. "Nothing makes sense anymore..."

"Then let me help you make sense of it all," he whispered, wrapping his arms around her as his lips locked onto hers.

Alice pulled away roughly. "Stop it! Just stop! Stop acting like this and don't kiss me! I'm serious! We can't be together!" She pushed at him and walked over to Sammy. She was shaking so bad, her legs wobbled under her. "Please...tell me the truth...am I losing my mind? Am I really...insane?"

Sammy shook his head and hugged her. "No, you're not sweetie." Looking back at Matthew he glared at him. "Stop this Matthew!"

"Stop what?"

"You know what!"

She took deep breaths against Sammy. "I feel like I'm going crazy."

"You're not the crazy one right now," he whispered.

She laid her head on his shoulder. "Then tell me what’s going on because I feel so lost."

Matthew looked at Sammy, his finger rising to his lip while he smiled.

Sammy swallowed hard. "I wish I could, sweetie, but it's best if you don't."

Alice pulled back. "I'm missing something like an inside joke!" she said. "Pieces don't fit and I know if I keep feeling this way....I am going to lose what is left of me! Please, I'm begging you! Don't leave me in the dark!" she pleaded.

Matthew's fingers danced across her neck as he leaned in close as whispered in here. "Silly girl. Haven't you figured it out yet? We're all mad here."

Alice whipped around and looked at him. "Stop saying that! Stop acting like the Hatter! It's not funny!" she snapped.

Matthew just laughed, his eyes wide as he caressed her cheek. "Alice," he said, his voice soft and whimsical. "What dear Sammy isn't able to tell you is that I'm rather insane when I want to be."

She shook her head. "Stop! Stop! Stop!" she screamed as her hands went to her head again and she shook it back and forth violently. She was crazy. She finally settled on it. She did belong in an insane asylum. Wonderland was mixing with this world in her head and her Matthew was becoming her Hatter. Nothing was fitting. Everything was not like it was suppose to be.

"Stop it, Matthew!" Sammy begged.

"Why? Why should I? Insanity is much more free than sanity," he laughed. Reaching out, he pulled Alice to him. "Now you know my dirty little secret."

Alice felt numb. It was as if everything in the world suddenly made perfect sense. She was crazy and was meant to be locked away. Maybe Wonderland really was all in her head. Silent tears poured from her eyes as she thought of everything she had experienced in Wonderland. Her first kiss, first love, first true happiness. How could any of that not be real? How could her Hatter not be real? Maybe...the world she was in was all in her head...and Matthew was a figment of her imagination. Or maybe...none of it was real and she made it all up...

"I think I broke her," Matthew said as he poked her.

She laid lifeless in his arms for a long time trying to put everything together. How could Matthew be insane? How could she be insane? How could anything make sense when nothing was right? But...if he was insane...and she was insane...then were they alike and perfect for each other? She had black outs and did horrible things...did he do the same? She closed her eyes and thought of the Hatter. He seemed so perfect for her too because he knew her so well, inside and out. And he had always been mad. He always reminded her that everyone was a little mad...she was mad too...but was madness and insanity the same thing? Why didn't she have any answers?

"Go have fun with Brian," Matthew said. "I will tend to her."

Sammy shook his head, but didn't say a word.

"I won't hurt her," he assured him. "I'm insane not stupid." He lifted her into his arms and carried her to bed and laid her down.

Alice opened her eyes and for a moment, she swore she saw Matthew's hair much longer with a top hat but when she blinked it was gone. She turned her head from him. Yes, it was clear...she was truly insane and mad.

"Alice," he whispered as he stroked her flesh. "Speak to me. Tell me what it is that dances inside your head."

"I am...insane..." she whispered. "And so very confused. I don't know what's real and what is unreal..." She closed her eyes again. "Where is my Hatter to make things alright and my Matthew to fix them?"

"I am Matthew, and I am real," he told her. "I am here to help."

"I don't know what to believe..." She curled into a ball and reached for her rabbit. One thing was for sure, she always had her rabbit.

Matthew pulled her face up while he kissed her, gently sucking and biting her lips. "I am real, Alice. You know this."

Slowly, her hand moved to his cheek. "And if you are...then you say you are insane...what doesn't this mean?"

"It means I'm not quite sane on occasion," he stated as if that should be obvious to her by now.

"That's...not possible....You seem sane to me...I have never seen you any other way until now." He hand went over her mouth as she gasped. "I rapped you and hurt you and now you are insane."

Matthew laughed at that. Shaking his head, he looked down at her. "No, though it is cute that you think that. I'm quite insane, but I'm sane enough to know that I'm insane. At least, I know I'm insane when I'm insane. Otherwise, I'm sane, but I'm really not because I'm deluding the facts with lies." He stopped and shrugged. "Either way, it's not entirely your fault."

She shook her head. "You speak in riddles like the Mad Hatter." Sighing, she moved her hand over his cheek. "Then tell me...how insane are you? Do you black out like me? Do you hurt people? Do you rape?"

"You ask a lot of questions," he sighed, pouting slightly. "Do I black out? Yes and no. It's more like I can't cope with my own insanity, so during my spurts like this I fill it in with random things that would normally happen. Probably when I snap out I'll think that we've made up and are fine. Not remembering a thing."

There was a pause. "Do I hurt people? Yes. Do I rape? Not entirely. Last night was fun for both us. Though I preferred you trying to rape me. That was just naughty. I liked it.

Alice blushed. "I don't remember last night..." she whispered. Fear pulled at her heart. "You...hurt people? Do you try to kill people?" She pulled his hand from his face. "Should...should I be frightened?"

"You're the one that tried to kill me, not the other way around," he reminded her.

"You have not answered my questions."

"Haven't I? Have I ever tried to hurt you before?"

She shook her head. "It doesn't mean you won't...you could snap...like me."

He chuckled at that. "I guess you do have a point. I wasn't exactly gentle last night."

She shifted slightly and moved from him a bit. "We shouldn't be together, Matthew."

Matthew sighed. "This again, Alice? Really? It's starting to get old. You say we shouldn't be together, but we stay together. Face the facts. You love me. You're addicted to me, as I am to you. It's not easy to stop an addiction."

"It helps when both parties hurt people...mainly each other. One day I may try to kill you again...or you may kill me... Do you really want a relationship that could cost you your life or the life of the person you love?"

"Better for two crazies to be together. At least we know what to expect."

She sat up and moved off the bed. "I don't want to be in a relationship when I'm afraid and I don't think you want that either."

"Alice, since I've been your doctor I've never snapped or hurt you. I have control. As I said, I'm crazy, not stupid. I can control my insanity. I would never hurt you."

She gestured to her body. "I have a hard time believing that."

"I said I have control. That wasn't meant to hurt. That was rough foreplay." He pulled open his shirt. "Foreplay you reciprocated and enjoyed I might add."

Alice's eyes washed over him. "So...I didn't rape you...and you didn't fight back? It was...love?"

"Oh there was rape, but it was love rape," he told her with a smirk. "Madness mixed with sex equals love rape."

"But...when you are sane, you will think I raped you." Walking to him she moved her arms around him. "You are right...I'm addicted and I don't want to lose you." She should have been afraid. He didn't really explain who all he had hurt and how far he took it.