Alice In Wonderland Fan Fiction ❯ Twisted Fantasy ❯ Chapter Fifty Five ( Chapter 55 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: destiny dreamer 
Non Anime: Alice In Wonderland Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Fantasy / Suspense / Thriller | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.19.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 174 | Status: Completed
Non Anime: Alice In Wonderland Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Hentai / Fantasy / Suspense / Thriller | Type: Other | Uploaded On: 06.19.2010 | Pages: 2 | Words: 3.0K | Visits: 174 | Status: Completed
Matthew shook his head slowly. "No, I would not."
"Would you resent me?"
"Possibly."
"Do you resent me now?"
"For carrying it?"
"Yes...and for getting pregnant."
"No," he said softly. "Not as much as I originally did."
She turned from him again. So he did at some point. Her heart ached. "I see..."
"Were you ever going to tell me that you wanted to keep it? Or were you simply going to wait till we gave it away?"
"I don't know. I wanted to see what you would do when you had it in your arms. And looked at its helpless face."
Helpless face. She was really trying, wasn't she? "I see...."
"Yes...I will choose the child over you," she finally said. Of course, she didn't look at him when she said that.
Matthew's jaw dropped when he heard that. "What?" He said, his voice soft, unable to believe what she had just said.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Any woman who had felt life grow inside of her would say the same thing. Every move it makes, every kick, every small thing I feel. To ask me to just give it away after I carried it inside of my body would be like asking me to give up my heart." She moved her hands over her stomach. "I have never loved anything more than I have loved this child and I won't let anyone take it from me," she said darkly.
Matthew's eyes narrowed as he heard this. Without a word he slipped out of her and grabbed his clothes. "Fine," he said. "We'll see about that."
She struggled, but finally sat up. "What is that suppose to mean?"
He looked at her mad smirked. "Oh, you'll find out."
Her eyes narrowed. "So long as I have air in my lungs, you won't come near this child!"
Matthew chuckled, running a hand through his hair he shook his head. "Is that a threat, Alice?"
"It's a promise!" she snapped.
He walked over to her and with a simple shove had her flat on her back on the bed. "Don't make promises that you can't keep," he hissed.
Alice back handed him hard. Her hand cracked but she didn't seemed fazed. "Keep away from me!"
He already felt a bruise forming as he spat blood from his lips. "And just why would I do that? Don't you want me anymore, Alice? Or am I not good enough for you since I'm not growing inyour stomach!"
"You're damn right you're not good enough!" she screamed. She pushed him away and stood. Going to her closet, she started dressing. "I promise you, if you touch me, or this child, I will murder you in your sleep!"
He snapped. He couldn't help it. At that instant the thin fabric ofmind lost all restraint. "So that's it! You got knocked up on your own damn accord, yet I have to pay the price?" He turned her around to face him. "You love that kid more than you ever loved me!"
"Yes I do!" she screamed. She pushed him from her again as she finished dressing.
"Why?" He snapped, not fazed by her actions. "Tell me why damn it!" Moving to the door, he kept her from leaving. They were going to finish this.
"Because it's mine! Because no matter what happens it will always belong to me! Because I feel it growing in me! Because I created it!" she snapped.
"I created it too! Don't you think I have some attachment to it!?"
"You wanted to kill it! You want to give it away! And I swear to you, if you even think about separating me for it I will not hesitate to kill you!"
"Do you honestly believe that we would make the best parents for it? What if you went psycho in front of it? What if I brought a body home, huh? How fucked up do you think our kid would be then?”
"I'm keeping it!" she screamed. "I'm keeping it and that's the final decision!"
His eyes darkened, but he seemed to calm down as she said that. "If...that is what you really want."
She looked at him. "I don't want you around anymore."
"What?" He shook his head. "Why not? I have been nothing but good to you!"
"You threatened to kill your child! Get the hell out!"
"I never threatened to kill it," he snapped. "So don't you dare say that I did."
"You implied it! As soon as I said I would choose it over you, you said you were going to change that! What the hell else am I suppose to believe!?"
"I wouldn’t kill it for Christ's sake! I'm fucking crazy, not a fucking monster!"
Her eyes burned into his. "You kill all the damn time!"
"I know that! And I'm probably going away for life because of it!" He snapped back, his eyes widening while he cursed and turned away from her. He didn't want her to know that.
Alice stiffened. "....what...."
He shook his head. "Just forget it. I'm dealing with it."
And just like that, she started crying. "You selfish bastard! Did you even think about me? Did you even care that you would be leaving me behind if you do get caught?" she wailed in tears and gasps of air.
He sighed and pulled her into his chest. "I said that I'm dealing with it. It will all go away soon. They're just poking into me due to the...disappearance of one or two of my students. Apparently they're poking around in my past and not liking what they're finding."
She screamed. "Oh God! Just how many people have you killed!?!" She cried hard against his naked body and beat on his chest. "You are so selfish! You are so cruel!"
"You wouldn't like the answer to that," he stated honestly. He held her, his hands rubbing her body soothingly. "But I'm not the type to be too careless. They shouldn't find anything incriminating."
"You better remember this! You better remember it because I'm going to remember it and I'm going to cry!"
He bit his lip, shaking his head against her. "I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. It's been very...dangerous. I've been teetering on the edge for several months; and the cops get suspicious when I don't know something or I do. As long as I truthfully don't recall the...incidents, then I'm less suspicious."
She calmed herself after a long moment, finally sniffling and crying silently against him. "Look what you've done...how can I spend my life with you if you are always hiding bodies?" Her hands fisted on him.
"You've managed to do so with little trouble so far," he explained. "And I'm fairly certain that I get older I won't be able to be so free spirited."
She took his hands and put them on her stomach. "Whether you want it or not...I'm bringing your child into this world and I'm keeping him or her. Do you really want the father to be a part time killer?"
"It's not exactly something I can control," he said, his hands fisting on her stomach. "And the child should be grateful that it has a father. I highly doubt that it will care what I am."
She pushed his hands from her all together. "You don't know that."
"Don't know what? That it'll be grateful to have a father or that I can't control my urges?" He was thoroughly convinced that he knew a bit more on both of those scenarios then she did, but he was more than willing to listen to her explanation of what she believed.
"Can you imagine what it will be like if he or she finds one of your bodies or your blood clothes?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Even if you hide them a million miles away, how am I going to explain that daddy got taken to jail because he killed people for a living?"
"The same could be said for you," he countered. "What would he say if mommy suddenly snaps and starts smashing mirrors, trying to stab someone with them? This is why I've been cautious about indulging you in keeping the child. No matter how you look at it, we're both pretty fucked up. I'm honestly terrified to think of how our kid would turn out if he was raised by us."
She crossed her arms. "I love it! I'm not giving it away!"
"Very well," he said slowly. "If that's what you want."
"It is," she said putting her foot down. "You can either go along with it and try your best to pretend to love it or leave and don't come back."
"I am nothing if not a great pretender," he informed her with a smirk. "I will play it your way, Alice. However, do not blame me if the child grows up and butchers us in our sleep with a rusty spatula. Although, if you want me to pretend to be daddy, I have a requirement for you."
Her eyes locked on his. "And that is?"
"You have to be my wife."
Her arms fell to her sides. "What?" she said softly. "Why are you asking this now when we both know you won't remember it?"
He laughed lightly. "Because I'm mad. After all, I've also agreed to raising the child even though I won't remember."
She shrugged. "Then I don't have to give you an answer."
"Oh but you do," he said. "Maybe not now. Maybe not later. But you will. It is only a matter of time before this conversation gets repeated. Consider this a...study guide for the test."
She waved it off and went to the door. "I'm hungry, and this conversation is over."
"Wait, Alice," Matthew said as he took her hand. "I don't want to leave and for us to end on bad terms."
"You won't remember it. So it really doesn't matter..." she said and shrugged lightly.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Matthew asked with a confused expression.
When did he snap back!?! She pulled her hand from him slowly. "I...um...don't know...."
"Are you..are we...okay?"
She really didn't know. What did he think they had just talked about? Best thing to do was use her pregnancy as an excuse and forgetfulness was sometimes part of it. "I...don't remember what we were talking about...can you fill me in?"
His eyes narrowed. Reaching out he pressed his hand to her forehead. "Are you feeling okay? You don't have a fever." She didn't seem that mad. Maybe it was just a mood swing that had set her off. If so, he had a little while before they would have to deal with the problem growing in her stomach.
She moved his hand from her forehead. "I feel fine. I just forget things sometimes. It's normal for a pregnant woman to forget things. Now just answer me."
"I didn't know that forgetfulness was one of your symptoms. Pregnancy really sucks doesn't it?" He winded, expecting another verbal out lash. When none came, he started again. "You started yelling that you wanted to keep the child. I argued that I didn't. Then we started talking about how the child might be scarred for life if it sees you snap. You yelled and wanted me out. You wanted me to leave, then you got upset and started crying into my chest."
So...he gets to seem like the good guy and she was the bad psycho one. Great. She hated his imagination. "Oh, right," she said nodded. "Yes, I'm keeping the baby and you can either get on board with that and pretend to love it or you can leave." Sounded like an echo.
He took a deep breath. "You are very adamant about this? You would really make me leave and force me out of your life because of this?"
She looked away from him. "Yes," she stated bluntly.
"I honestly can't believe that you would do that," he whispered. "Just forget me and cast me aside because of-" He bit his lip, trying not to get angry at her. Why should he be punished for this?
"Because of a child that grows inside of me?" she asked. "Don't be so sure," she snapped. "Try taking the baby from me and I can promise you the last thing you will be worrying about is if I'll kick you out or not."
"Tell me this. Who do you love more? Me or that child?"
She placed her hands on her stomach. "Your child."
Why did she keep saying that? His child. His baby. "Very well," he whispered.
She met his eyes. "What will you do?" How could he just say 'very well?' Why didn't he ever explain himself or tell her how he felt? It drove her crazy and annoyed the piss out of her!
"It is not as if you are giving me many options." He rubbed his eyes gently, giving him a moment to think. "I will stand by your decision, one on condition."
Marry him. "I don't want you to just stand by it. I want you to want this child, your child, our child. I want you to love it and raise it with me because of that love. If you can't do that then why the hell are you here?"
"I love you," he told her. "But I do not know if I can love the child. I do not know if I will ever want it. I am here because I love you."
She shook her head. "That's...not good enough."
"Would you resent me?"
"Possibly."
"Do you resent me now?"
"For carrying it?"
"Yes...and for getting pregnant."
"No," he said softly. "Not as much as I originally did."
She turned from him again. So he did at some point. Her heart ached. "I see..."
"Were you ever going to tell me that you wanted to keep it? Or were you simply going to wait till we gave it away?"
"I don't know. I wanted to see what you would do when you had it in your arms. And looked at its helpless face."
Helpless face. She was really trying, wasn't she? "I see...."
"Yes...I will choose the child over you," she finally said. Of course, she didn't look at him when she said that.
Matthew's jaw dropped when he heard that. "What?" He said, his voice soft, unable to believe what she had just said.
She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. "Any woman who had felt life grow inside of her would say the same thing. Every move it makes, every kick, every small thing I feel. To ask me to just give it away after I carried it inside of my body would be like asking me to give up my heart." She moved her hands over her stomach. "I have never loved anything more than I have loved this child and I won't let anyone take it from me," she said darkly.
Matthew's eyes narrowed as he heard this. Without a word he slipped out of her and grabbed his clothes. "Fine," he said. "We'll see about that."
She struggled, but finally sat up. "What is that suppose to mean?"
He looked at her mad smirked. "Oh, you'll find out."
Her eyes narrowed. "So long as I have air in my lungs, you won't come near this child!"
Matthew chuckled, running a hand through his hair he shook his head. "Is that a threat, Alice?"
"It's a promise!" she snapped.
He walked over to her and with a simple shove had her flat on her back on the bed. "Don't make promises that you can't keep," he hissed.
Alice back handed him hard. Her hand cracked but she didn't seemed fazed. "Keep away from me!"
He already felt a bruise forming as he spat blood from his lips. "And just why would I do that? Don't you want me anymore, Alice? Or am I not good enough for you since I'm not growing inyour stomach!"
"You're damn right you're not good enough!" she screamed. She pushed him away and stood. Going to her closet, she started dressing. "I promise you, if you touch me, or this child, I will murder you in your sleep!"
He snapped. He couldn't help it. At that instant the thin fabric ofmind lost all restraint. "So that's it! You got knocked up on your own damn accord, yet I have to pay the price?" He turned her around to face him. "You love that kid more than you ever loved me!"
"Yes I do!" she screamed. She pushed him from her again as she finished dressing.
"Why?" He snapped, not fazed by her actions. "Tell me why damn it!" Moving to the door, he kept her from leaving. They were going to finish this.
"Because it's mine! Because no matter what happens it will always belong to me! Because I feel it growing in me! Because I created it!" she snapped.
"I created it too! Don't you think I have some attachment to it!?"
"You wanted to kill it! You want to give it away! And I swear to you, if you even think about separating me for it I will not hesitate to kill you!"
"Do you honestly believe that we would make the best parents for it? What if you went psycho in front of it? What if I brought a body home, huh? How fucked up do you think our kid would be then?”
"I'm keeping it!" she screamed. "I'm keeping it and that's the final decision!"
His eyes darkened, but he seemed to calm down as she said that. "If...that is what you really want."
She looked at him. "I don't want you around anymore."
"What?" He shook his head. "Why not? I have been nothing but good to you!"
"You threatened to kill your child! Get the hell out!"
"I never threatened to kill it," he snapped. "So don't you dare say that I did."
"You implied it! As soon as I said I would choose it over you, you said you were going to change that! What the hell else am I suppose to believe!?"
"I wouldn’t kill it for Christ's sake! I'm fucking crazy, not a fucking monster!"
Her eyes burned into his. "You kill all the damn time!"
"I know that! And I'm probably going away for life because of it!" He snapped back, his eyes widening while he cursed and turned away from her. He didn't want her to know that.
Alice stiffened. "....what...."
He shook his head. "Just forget it. I'm dealing with it."
And just like that, she started crying. "You selfish bastard! Did you even think about me? Did you even care that you would be leaving me behind if you do get caught?" she wailed in tears and gasps of air.
He sighed and pulled her into his chest. "I said that I'm dealing with it. It will all go away soon. They're just poking into me due to the...disappearance of one or two of my students. Apparently they're poking around in my past and not liking what they're finding."
She screamed. "Oh God! Just how many people have you killed!?!" She cried hard against his naked body and beat on his chest. "You are so selfish! You are so cruel!"
"You wouldn't like the answer to that," he stated honestly. He held her, his hands rubbing her body soothingly. "But I'm not the type to be too careless. They shouldn't find anything incriminating."
"You better remember this! You better remember it because I'm going to remember it and I'm going to cry!"
He bit his lip, shaking his head against her. "I'm afraid it's not quite that simple. It's been very...dangerous. I've been teetering on the edge for several months; and the cops get suspicious when I don't know something or I do. As long as I truthfully don't recall the...incidents, then I'm less suspicious."
She calmed herself after a long moment, finally sniffling and crying silently against him. "Look what you've done...how can I spend my life with you if you are always hiding bodies?" Her hands fisted on him.
"You've managed to do so with little trouble so far," he explained. "And I'm fairly certain that I get older I won't be able to be so free spirited."
She took his hands and put them on her stomach. "Whether you want it or not...I'm bringing your child into this world and I'm keeping him or her. Do you really want the father to be a part time killer?"
"It's not exactly something I can control," he said, his hands fisting on her stomach. "And the child should be grateful that it has a father. I highly doubt that it will care what I am."
She pushed his hands from her all together. "You don't know that."
"Don't know what? That it'll be grateful to have a father or that I can't control my urges?" He was thoroughly convinced that he knew a bit more on both of those scenarios then she did, but he was more than willing to listen to her explanation of what she believed.
"Can you imagine what it will be like if he or she finds one of your bodies or your blood clothes?" She narrowed her eyes at him. "Even if you hide them a million miles away, how am I going to explain that daddy got taken to jail because he killed people for a living?"
"The same could be said for you," he countered. "What would he say if mommy suddenly snaps and starts smashing mirrors, trying to stab someone with them? This is why I've been cautious about indulging you in keeping the child. No matter how you look at it, we're both pretty fucked up. I'm honestly terrified to think of how our kid would turn out if he was raised by us."
She crossed her arms. "I love it! I'm not giving it away!"
"Very well," he said slowly. "If that's what you want."
"It is," she said putting her foot down. "You can either go along with it and try your best to pretend to love it or leave and don't come back."
"I am nothing if not a great pretender," he informed her with a smirk. "I will play it your way, Alice. However, do not blame me if the child grows up and butchers us in our sleep with a rusty spatula. Although, if you want me to pretend to be daddy, I have a requirement for you."
Her eyes locked on his. "And that is?"
"You have to be my wife."
Her arms fell to her sides. "What?" she said softly. "Why are you asking this now when we both know you won't remember it?"
He laughed lightly. "Because I'm mad. After all, I've also agreed to raising the child even though I won't remember."
She shrugged. "Then I don't have to give you an answer."
"Oh but you do," he said. "Maybe not now. Maybe not later. But you will. It is only a matter of time before this conversation gets repeated. Consider this a...study guide for the test."
She waved it off and went to the door. "I'm hungry, and this conversation is over."
"Wait, Alice," Matthew said as he took her hand. "I don't want to leave and for us to end on bad terms."
"You won't remember it. So it really doesn't matter..." she said and shrugged lightly.
"Huh? What do you mean?" Matthew asked with a confused expression.
When did he snap back!?! She pulled her hand from him slowly. "I...um...don't know...."
"Are you..are we...okay?"
She really didn't know. What did he think they had just talked about? Best thing to do was use her pregnancy as an excuse and forgetfulness was sometimes part of it. "I...don't remember what we were talking about...can you fill me in?"
His eyes narrowed. Reaching out he pressed his hand to her forehead. "Are you feeling okay? You don't have a fever." She didn't seem that mad. Maybe it was just a mood swing that had set her off. If so, he had a little while before they would have to deal with the problem growing in her stomach.
She moved his hand from her forehead. "I feel fine. I just forget things sometimes. It's normal for a pregnant woman to forget things. Now just answer me."
"I didn't know that forgetfulness was one of your symptoms. Pregnancy really sucks doesn't it?" He winded, expecting another verbal out lash. When none came, he started again. "You started yelling that you wanted to keep the child. I argued that I didn't. Then we started talking about how the child might be scarred for life if it sees you snap. You yelled and wanted me out. You wanted me to leave, then you got upset and started crying into my chest."
So...he gets to seem like the good guy and she was the bad psycho one. Great. She hated his imagination. "Oh, right," she said nodded. "Yes, I'm keeping the baby and you can either get on board with that and pretend to love it or you can leave." Sounded like an echo.
He took a deep breath. "You are very adamant about this? You would really make me leave and force me out of your life because of this?"
She looked away from him. "Yes," she stated bluntly.
"I honestly can't believe that you would do that," he whispered. "Just forget me and cast me aside because of-" He bit his lip, trying not to get angry at her. Why should he be punished for this?
"Because of a child that grows inside of me?" she asked. "Don't be so sure," she snapped. "Try taking the baby from me and I can promise you the last thing you will be worrying about is if I'll kick you out or not."
"Tell me this. Who do you love more? Me or that child?"
She placed her hands on her stomach. "Your child."
Why did she keep saying that? His child. His baby. "Very well," he whispered.
She met his eyes. "What will you do?" How could he just say 'very well?' Why didn't he ever explain himself or tell her how he felt? It drove her crazy and annoyed the piss out of her!
"It is not as if you are giving me many options." He rubbed his eyes gently, giving him a moment to think. "I will stand by your decision, one on condition."
Marry him. "I don't want you to just stand by it. I want you to want this child, your child, our child. I want you to love it and raise it with me because of that love. If you can't do that then why the hell are you here?"
"I love you," he told her. "But I do not know if I can love the child. I do not know if I will ever want it. I am here because I love you."
She shook her head. "That's...not good enough."