Angel Sanctuary Fan Fiction ❯ Random Pardies ❯ Katan’s past, and Rosiel’s sick fetish ( Chapter 3 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

....And as Setsuna held Sara closer, he...A familiar voice is heard during the scene. "Yeah yeah, blah blah, nobody cares. Your in love with your sister, you in-breeding son of a bitch! It's illegal, its sick, and its WRONG! Now let's get back to the REAL interesting characters, and us. The best of them all. “Scissors cut across the screen, making Setsuna and Sara disappear. "....heeeellllllllooooo???" "Not now!" As Haley whizzes past, (A/N inertia is fun) Maddie holds her hand out and Haley flies into it with break-neck speed, but unfortunately, it hits her in the torso, not in the neck, only breaking a few ribs. "..Thank you..." She says, crumpled up on the floor. Katan suddenly walks over and stares at the heap of insane psychoticness. "Finally got her to stop flying around?" "Yup" "...How long has she been doing that for?" "Well, judging by the update of our last chapter, I'd say like a half hour ago. We're really really bored." Rosiel laughs "You guys are LOSERS" "Your calling ME a loser?? You want your sister, you incest lusting freak!! STOP IT, STOP IT!!!" She continues yelling and slapping him multiple times. Katan has to pull her off after a while. "Sorry, but I can't stand the whole in-breeding thing. And besides, your sister's a whore." "She is not!" "She is too" "SHE IS NOT!" Haley is in the background running in circles going "WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!". They all stare at her for a second, before shaking their heads. "ANYWAY.." Katan interrupted. "Wouldn't be considered a LESBIAN whore?" More imaginary beard stroking. "Why?!" Rosiel cries out. "She's not a lesbian, she has to love me!!" "Well think about it, she likes that Sara bitch, even if she's in a guy's body. Its still Alexiel." Maddie pointed out. "LE GASP! You're right. She is a LESBIAN.....whore." Rosiel says, running into his room crying. "PUSSY!!" Maddie shouts after him. Haley suddenly randomly appears beside Katan and clings to his arm. "BIRDYMAN, we should look at pictures of you when you were little!" "Yeah, I want to find out if Rosiel actually molested you when you were little." Maddie added. "Lord Rosiel did NOT molest me!! When I was younger, anyway...." "Well, let's look and be the judge of that." Maddie said, holding a photo album as Haley jumped on his back screaming "TO THE COUCH, BIRDYMAN!! AWAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!” As we approach the mystical magical couch of memory fantasies, we are suddenly transported to the past, where we stood and watched the happenings like a movie. ~At the birth of Katan~ Katan is a little boy staring up at Rosiel, naked, not surprisingly. "Ooo, he so smooth and shiny, like a hard boiled egg!!" Haley squeals. "Shut up, I'm not an egg!" He throws an egg at her. "Just shut up and keep watching" Maddie says, hitting her in the back of the head. And Rosiel starts to fly off. And, unfortunately, Katan is naked with nothing but that rag of a blanket. He shouts up "WAIT! I NEED SOME PANTS!! PLEASE!!" "Rosiel says back down "If you want some pants, meet me at Etemenanki at Atziluth. You know, those are really annoying names. Oh well. Farewell, Katan!!" Rosiel disappears. 4 or 5 year old looking Katan sits there with a cute pout and says "Great. Not even 5 minutes old, and I think that guy was trying to molest me. And I'm really cold. And how do I know what I'm saying, no one has taught me to speak yet." "....I thought you said he didn't molest you?" Maddie asked. "Well, he DIDN'T, but it seemed like he did". ~school scene, couple years later, with pants~ (Whee, pants!) Katan is seen walking with a teacher asking him "If angels aren't allowed to have children, then why do they have a school for it?" But as before he could get his question answered, he noticed Rosiel and ran towards him, shouting out his name and asking why he didn’t he leave him pants. Rosiel whips Katan. "Ooo, kinky" Haley giggled. "Well I see future signs of molestation with whips included" Maddie said. And then the punishment scene continues. Little Katan is surprised when Rosiel kisses him, and says, "You've been a bad boy, Katan." and little Katan screams in surprise. A shout can be heard from outside. "Dear god, what is he DOING to that poor boy?!" Rosiel shouts "I'M NOT DOING ANYTHING!!...yet..." "What?" Katan says. "Oh nothing..." “you don't call that molestation??" Maddie exclaims. "It was only on my cheek..." "Well, you could tell it was nearing towards your lips before you freaked out" "Was not." Was too." "Shut up, I want to see this" Haley interrupts, clinging to Katan's arm. Suddenly, the past Rosiel says " I'm sorry I didn't leave you any pants, here, why don't you take yours off and go find them again!" "Uh, no thanks, I'm ok..." "Told you." Maddie says. "Shut up" "Pedophile" Haley says. "SHUT UP!" Suddenly, Scooby-Doo music starts playing. -Scooby Dooby Doo, where are you, we got some work to do now! Scooby-Dooby Doo, where are you, we need some help from you now- "...Whoa, what the fuck was that?" Maddie said, as the past visions faded and they were next to the mystical magical couch of memory fantasies. Rosiel walks into the room, finished crying for the moment. "See, I knew you tried to molest him when he was little". Maddie said. "PEDOPHILE!!" Haley screeched, pointing accusingly at the burnt remains of the curtains. "Well, it was those damn tiny little shorts they made him wear, they showed off his pretty little legs." "You were staring at my LEGS?!" Katan exclaimed. "It was those damned shorts, they were just BEGGING to be ripped off!" "They were not."
(insert childish continuous argument of "they were" and "they weren't”, as Haley is in the background yelling "MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP")

"You weren't staring at anyone ELSES legs!" "Well you had the nicest legs, you still do." "How would you know if you didn't look at anyone else's legs?" "Well excuse me for being faithful!" "Well excuse you for being a pedophile!!!!" Haley is still in the background meeping. "Uh oh, everybody watch out, its the Haley mating call" Maddie said, amusement in her voice. "ARGUMENT AJOURNED!! MUST RUN!!" Katan yelled, jumping out the window, Rosiel following. Haley, unaware of the commotion, continues running around in circles "meeping". And, as it is custom, Maddie shoves her in a closet and locks it, and walks away, ignoring once again, her cries for help, and the sounds emitting from outside the house. (A/N Ooo, sexy sounds) "....hello? HELLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Well, yes, I hope you all enjoyed our version of Katan's past. It may not be as random as the last one, but we tried our best to make it amusing anyway. Uh..whee! Over and out.