Artemis Fowl Fan Fiction ❯ Employee of the Month ❯ Door-to-Door Salesman ( Chapter 10 )

Artemis Fowl: Door-to-Door Salesman

 

A knock rang through the mansion, and a plump woman dressed in a flowery purple apron appeared at the door. She peered at the pale boy standing outside, holding a covered basket, and then raised a brow at him questioningly. “Hello, dear. Is there anything I can help you with?” The boy, being to proud to beg, loftily replied, “Madam, I have here numerous wares that could greatly increase your housekeeping skills! Women everywhere will come and ask you for your secrets.” He uncovered his basket with a flourish. Inside sat a bottle of… Windex.

 

The woman tittered, confused. “But, my dear… that is a bottle of Windex! I already have some, just the same. Even the same flavor!” Artemis looked shocked, “What! That is not possible! The salesman told me that it was a new flavor, which would send men to their knees!” The woman tittered again, and invited the obviously confused boy into her house. “Sit there, dear, and get comfortable. I'll go get a few peanut butter cookies for you, deary, okay?”

 

Without waiting for an answer, she rushed off into her kitchen. She rushed in, and dashed toward the refrigerator. Glancing out of a small window, she saw that the poor deprived boy was sitting on her couch, staring into space. She grabbed her phone off the shelf and dialed three numbers: 9-1-1. “Hello, this is Cherry Smith. There is this poor, disheveled boy sitting in my living room. He came here and tried to sell me some Windex, claiming that it was an exotic potion… Yes, yes… My address? Wait a minute - 3459 Brooke stone Avenue. Please hurry… my phone number? His name? His insurance company?”

 

Artemis smiled grimly, and crept out of the door. He had learned what he had come here to learn… By the time the ambulance came, it would be far too late. And by the time inquiries ended, he would have decided upon the perfect plan.

 

Author's Notes:

 

TEGC: Well, its Tora's turn to update our other story, and she isn't doing it! *Growls.* So, I can't update it either! *Growls.* Anyhow: I got my own account, and, if you read Inuyasha fics, go read some of my stories! (Roses of Sharon)

 

Comment Replies:

Waterdragon719: Oh no, no, no... I didn't mean actual suicide. I just can't imagine Artemis wearing baggy overalls and cleaning up with a smelly mop and ancient yellow bucket... Cool! I bet Arty is seriously regretting his decision... But then, if he looked that far ahead, he would get past his (enormous) ego and just forget about his latest plot.