Avatar The Last Airbender Fan Fiction ❯ Of Stalkers and Very Bad Advice ❯ At Least Katara Finds This Funny... ( Chapter 2 )

[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]

Author's note: Chapter two. I'm running out of steam… need… help… If you have any ideas, please share! Thank you!

:Disclaimer: Your Mistress Ferret and her minions do not own Avatar. If they did, Zuko and Sokka would hook up. So would Azula and Ty Lee.

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The dreaded morning came. Okay, there she was. Just ignore her, and run right into her. Make it look like an accident…

“Zuko?”

Shit, she saw me. “Uh, hi?” I said, trying to be at least semi-friendly. Seems that was a bad idea.

“`Hi'?” she asked in disbelief. “No `Where's the Avatar?' or attempts on my life?”

“I didn't come here to fight you,” I tried to explain. “You see, I've got this problem…”

“Really?” she asked skeptically. “What kind of `problem'?”

“Its name is Tenku, and it is stalking me.” And it was about here that I lost her. She started to laugh… and laugh… and laugh… and laugh some more. “No, listen, I'm serious!” I exclaimed. “Wherever I go, she's always there! I woke up, and she was sleeping in my bed!” And thus, Katara was prompted to laugh harder until she was rolling on the ground, slapping her thighs.

“Katara?!” came another voice from behind a fruit vendor. “Katara, you okay?” Shit, not him.

“YOU!” shouted her oh-so-annoying brother, pointing that ridiculous boomerang thing at me. “Wha'd you do to Katara?!”

“Nothing, you—”

“Sokka, this is priceless!” gasped Katara. I braced myself for the worst. “ZUKO HAS A STALKER!” Cue to insane laughter on Katara's part.

“Well, it serves you right,” said the little dipshit of an Airbender, smirking. “How's it feel to have someone following you?”

“Before you continue with your little tirade, Avatar, consider this: Did this person who followed you EVER claim to be carrying your child, crawl into your bed, then slap you across the face?” I asked calmly.

“Well… no. But…

“Wait! Waitwaitwaitwait wait wait. Wait. Wait.” The little blind girl finally spoke. “Are you saying… your stalker…”

“Yes.” Katara laughed harder, and I think half the blood in her body was gathered in her cheeks. “So… will you help me?”

“How can we say no?” Katara said, finally calming down. Curse her to hell. She's never gonna let me live this down; I just know it. “But, on one condition.”

“Name it,” I said hastily.

“You do EXACTLY as we say.”

I knew I would live to regret every ounce of discomfort the Fire Nation had EVER caused this group.