Avatar The Last Airbender Fan Fiction ❯ Precious Illusions ❯ Apologize for Non-Symmetry ( Chapter 11 )

Author's Notes: "Can I have your picture so I can show Santa what I want for Christmas?"

 

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave). I don't own any of the songs in any of these chapters or the one that gave the fic it's name. Look at who's it by to find that information.

 

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

 

Apologize for Non-Symmetry by Chronic Future

 

Chapter Eleven

Apologize for Non-Symmetry

 

Aang had found the spot where the spirit world was closest to theirs within the first hour. It was near the base of the mountain where the lake met a cave. They had been there for just over a week and nothing had happened beyond that. The spirit refused to directly meet and speak with Aang. The avatar had offered it everything he could think of, had tried to reason with the spirit just by talking in the most potent area, and he even had Zuko sit there and try to talk to air. The Fire Lord had done so, looking uncomfortable, and then freaked out as the earth once again started to shake.

 

Aang had decided from then on that Zuko was the perfect one to try and appease the spirit. Something was off with the spirit, well not so much off as just more intense. All Aang could tell was that this spirit was not just a local spirit; it represented something much greater than that. Sokka had heard their story and surprisingly enough had hit the books, looking for something that could explain why the spirit was upset besides the obvious. Which was probably better then Aang, who was just guessing what the problem was and having an awkward Zuko try all sorts of ways to try and appease the spirit.

 

“So, how'd today go?” asked Katara watching as both groups came into mess cabin.

 

“Nothing, the spirit didn't make any movements, not even in protest, it's like it gave us a clue as to what is wrong, but now I'm not going the right way to solve it,” whined Aang.

 

“Does this mean I can get back to the paper work Lou sent me?” asked Zuko dryly. Toph rapped the boy firmly on his back.

 

“This is your vacation, you're not supposed to be doing work,” she said loudly.

 

“I am taking a vacation. This is just paper work. Boring as hell, but it needs to be done. I don't have any meetings or people I have to meet so it is a vacation. Or it would be, if the avatar didn't keep dragging me to the damn cave,” said Zuko, glaring at Aang, the avatar smiled awkwardly and giggled in a self damning way. The Fire Lord sighed and returned back to his meat.

 

“Hello everyone!” sang Sokka sitting down.

 

“Did you learn anything?” asked Katara, guessing wrong why he was in such a good mood.

 

“Nope, guess who's back!” he said as Azi sat next to him. Katara sighed at her brothers antics. She blinked when the half of their table that was usually left opened was occupied by one of the hunting groups, all of them talking together in excitement. That's right, when Sokka had asked them where Azi was the air bender had told them that the girl had gotten permission to go on a hunt with the group.

 

“So, your hunt went well?” asked Katara to the rough looking boy next to her.

 

“Hell yes,” said the boy happily.

 

“Hey, give credit where credit is due Rue,” said a boy with a clothe headband, he looked like their leader. “We couldn't have done so well without Azi. Here's to you girl. You might look like a delicate little thing but give you a weapon and I think you could give the best archer a run for his money!”

 

There was a large amount of cheering and loud voices of celebration. Aang seemed torn whether to join the happy little bubble of young men were in or to be disappointed that anyone could celebrate over causing the death of a living being. Katara smiled at him and rubbed his hand, she glanced over to where Azi was sitting next to her brother. She wasn't sure what to make of the girl. Jet refused to be taught by anyone but her. He had practiced getting a small flame into his hands only because Azi had promised not to tell him anymore hints on how to do so. He had been angry when Zuko had tried to give him advice, and had screamed and thrown tantrums after he had learned and Katara had asked Zuko in his spare time to try and take over Azi's lessons.

 

When she asked the boy why he wanted the girl as his teacher, Jet had told her it was because Azi understood him and hadn't let him down so far. He was angry that she was gone, but apparently Azi had told him of her intentions to leave. The interesting thing was that while she had been only gone five days, Katara had time to calm down and realize that the girl was more than just a charity case to these people. She might be temperamental and unstable, but she had done something that had gained respect (if not fear) from the people who lived in the temple.

 

But she was still worried about Jet.

 

“So, Azi,” said Katara absently, hoping that the girl would listen to her if she used her name. Azi titled her head to the side but didn't look up. “Jet, under the Fire Lord's presence learned that flame thing that you were trying to get him to do.” The girl stiffened and looked angrily at her food. Katara stiffened, and then relaxed, people showed their disappointment and sadness in different ways. “Yesterday he choose to spend a half an hour running around, sneaking, and generally finding anything flammable and lighting a fire to it.”

 

“What?” growled Azi, and then backed off, looking at her food in a way that Katara was surprised it didn't grow legs and scuttle away for fear.

 

“I think he thought it would bring you back faster,” explained Katara. Azi blinked, obviously unsure of how to proceed. Azi looked over at Sokka for help. He seemed just as lost as to what Katara was getting at. “Listen, I think you'd be the best teacher for him. He likes you, and after that first demonstration you obviously don't let him get away with much. The Elders told me it was best to leave you with the kid and to not ask questions. Plus, Soka follows you around all morning, so I'm sure it won't get out of hand.”

 

“As long as he doesn't mention what I do to the kid for his tantrum,” muttered the girl. Katara bristled, but forced herself to relax. She wanted this for Jet; she wanted him to have something. He was miserable, more so with his fire bending.

 

“Hey, you're back Azi?” asked Saki squeezing herself next to her friend. Azula glanced at her and then narrowed her eyes.

 

“You haven't been sleeping,” she stated, everyone at the table froze.

 

“Why? Have you been getting weird dreams, what are they about, maybe the spirits giving us another clue!” said Aang, looking a little sleep deprived himself.

 

“No, nothing like that,” said Saki looking a little taken back.

 

“You haven't got any more leads have you?” asked Azula with a smirk.

 

“We know that Zuko isn't the only thing the spirit is upset with. Plus with every failure we come that much closer to finding the answer,” said Sokka happily. Azula looked dully at the boy and then sighed at him.

 

“I could have told you the thing about the Fire Lord,” said Azula crossly. “The weird elemental attacks started happening before he came. And don't tell me that it was complaining about him all the way from here. This has got to be, at the moment, one of the most secluded places that I've ever been to.”

 

“Maybe the spirit started the fires because you came here. You said that you were brought up in a place that taught fire and earth benders to fight in the war, and your eyes suggest that you have some fire kingdom heritage running through your blood,” said Aang. “Maybe the fire was not only to drive anyone here but to tell you that someone it disapproved was coming.”

 

“Oh joy, let's give the people an actual reason to throw me out of the village,” muttered Azula stabbing at her soup. Saki gripped her hand, and Azula sighed trying to ignore the avatar.

 

“So when Zuko came it decided to start showing its irritation in a new way, as if knowing that the Fire Kingdom needs to make some sort of apology,” Aang seemed to think deeply on this.
“Yeah, that has to be it. Ok, let's start have you go with…”

 

“No,” bit off Azula sharply. She was not getting dragged into being around her brother anymore than necessary. If anyone would be able to tell who she was, it was him; he had known her the longest. “Listen, I'm not coming with you today, because I'm tired and I want to do a few exercises and then just fall back on a bed and sleep. I'm not going with you tomorrow because I've got brats to watch, and I need time in the afternoon to settle. Some of us have to worry about staying sane and keeping themselves that way.”

 

“But, I am…”

 

“Baseless guesses don't count,” said Azula with a small glare. “You give actual proof that what you just said has any bases of reason then I'll help you. Until then, I'm going to be trying to do what I usually do. If you losers will excuse me?”

 

Azula left. It was best to alienate the avatar and his friends. She didn't want them getting to close, the closer they got to her the more chance there would be of finding out who she was.

 

“You mind if I join you?” Azula tensed but let go of a shaking breath.

 

“And why, pray tell, would the Fire Lord want to join me?” asked Azula stiffly.

 

“You're going to practice your um..” Zuko seemed to sense the hostility coming from Azula. The former Fire Kingdom princess sighed and ignored him. Apparently he took this as an invitation. Azula sighed stiffly.

 

“Why are you still following me?” asked Azula with barely restrained annoyance.

 

“You didn't say I couldn't,” he said awkwardly. “Do you mind mostly working on the ones you learned from the people from the fire nation? That way I can get in practice, I've let things go a little because of all the turmoil.”

 

“Shouldn't you try and follow people who dote on you?” asked Azula, ignoring the second thing he said. She rather not have to leave simply because she lost patience with her brother and burned him to a crisp. You'd think that for someone now drowning in the political world and all its undermined tricks that he would have known that she was lying about her past. That had been one of the worst lies she had ever told, though told in the same calm tone that she always delivered her lies in.

 

“I spent most of my life trying to act better then the people who were either trying to look after me, or truly had a reason to think that I… I just believe that sometimes the ones that can teach you the most are the ones who don't treat me with any sort of reverence that other people do simply because of my station,” admitted the Fire Lord. Azula rolled her eyes. Her brother was going to be lucky to live the next year.

 

Azula breathed in, and then out. Taking the steps quickly to head toward the lake and to an open spot she liked to practice on. She thought back on all the rulers she had ever met. There had been weak ones that allowed others to control them. There were ones that treated their subjects with respect. She thought back to Bummy, and his people. They had fought until the bitter end and beyond for their home. They couldn't be swayed like the Di-Lei had. She thought about how things were run here, how Saki had so much power when she had no experience, but plenty of heart. Azula wasn't admitting that she was wrong, that she had tried to go about ruling wrong. But perhaps her madness had made her make some undesirable decisions. In some cases building an actual friendly communication would work better then threats and manipulation.

 

“Azi?”

 

“What if I work with the sword?” she asked abruptly.

 

“I would be honored to see someone Master Tuk speaks so highly of at work,” said Zuko with a fire nation bow. Well, at least her brother knew how to sweet talk someone.

 

“Whatever,” muttered Azula turning her back in one more ditch to hope he got the message. He didn't and soon she was in her spot. Her movements gracefully flowed together and her brother following her so closely that it looked like they had studied the same exercise together as students to the same master.

 

“You know,” said her brother with a small chuckle. “It's interesting, you used to be so good at lying and reading people, now you can't even tell when someone's figured you out.”

 

“What are you talking about?” asked Azula, her body tensing.

 

“We know who you really are Azula,” said Zuko, Azula kept smoothly going through her movements. Her brother followed right along.

 

“I have no idea…”

 

“Drop it Azula, you think we can't figure out who you are just because you have that new hair style? Kinda reminds me of your fire actually,” Azula turned toward her brother and glared at him, trying to replicate the superior look that she had held all her life.

 

“So, what are you going to do?” she demanded of her brother. She stood tall and ready to attack.

 

“We can't let you stay here Azula,” said her brother seriously. “You're dangerous, now more than ever before ironically. I'd suggest that you'd come quietly. We'll give these a people why you had to leave. But Aang needs you to apologize to the spirit and then come back with me.”

 

“What happened to me and dad being able to find away to find the right path?” demanded Azula.

 

“You think I can't see that you haven't changed your outlook on life?” demanded Zuko, Azula looked at him stubbornly. “I don't know what kind of operation you've started or think you can start. But I know that you've done something besides just proven you're crazy. I've been down the village, the others more so. They don't trust you. They won't talk about you but to say a few scathing comments. That's probably the only thing that is keeping you from trying anything major here. No, little sister, it's time for you to come back home and continue your sentence in prison. Perhaps I have you see a mind healer because even I don't think you could fool everyone so perfectly. But then, when it comes to it I can never been sure, you very well could be faking.”

 

“The reason I stay here is because of Saki,” said Azula once again starting to go through her movements. Zuko blinked but started copying her. “Though, don't worry I did think of killing you, but if I did that I could never lie when Saki asked me. So you stay alive.”

 

“That's a little hard to believe,” scoffed Zuko. “No one ever stopped you from getting what you wanted before. Especially your friends. No, I think before you destroy all the air benders, or whatever your goal is, I will remove you.”

 

“What happened to forgiveness?” asked Azula harshly, trying to appeal to the bleeding heart she knew her brother was.

 

“Do you know how much you've put me, my kingdom, the world?” asked Zuko with a sneer. “I'm not an idiot; you've been this evil since you were a small child. You smiled when grandfather was killed. You smiled and teased me when grandfather sentenced my death. No Azula, after all you've done, you're beyond forgiveness.”

 

“What if I disposed of you?” asked Azula in a last ditch to find some reason to stop him. “I could kill you, it was my intention since the moment I melted those bars and headed out of that prison.”

 

“I'm not the only one who knows Azula, do you really want to add to your sins?” asked the Fire Lord, scorn showing his eyes as he looked at her. “Plus, do you really think you can defeat me? While you still can fight with your hands and a sword, I bet it's been a while since you've really fire bent. Do you really think you can defeat me now?”

 

“Shut up,” said Azula turning around, she clenched her fists intending to… “Fire Lord Zuko!”

 

“I'm sorry,” her brother said sheepishly. “I didn't mean to sneak up on you. Who were you talking to?”

 

“Did you hear anything?” demanded Azula, slightly panicked.

 

“No, the rocks drowned you out, are you okay?” he asked looking concerned.

 

“What are you doing here?” asked Azula, anger lacing her tone. Zuko looked uncomfortable but pulled himself together quickly.

 

“I remembered you said you'd trained somewhere you learned moves similar to those of the Fire Nation, I was hoping that you'd let me join you,” said Zuko calmly. Azula blinked and turned to the side.

 

“Well sis,” asked the other Zuko. “What's going to be your answer this time?”

 

Azula turned to the side and started her steps again. The Fire Lord blinked and started following her while her ghost brother continued to copy her glaring a disdainfully in her direction. She faltered in her steps and then stopped.

 

“Is something the matter Azi?”

 

“Yes Azula, is something the matter, or are you finally going to confess the mistake you've made and apologize to that spirit for disturbing it?”

 

“I have to go,” she said breathlessly.

 

“What's wrong?” asked the Fire Lord but she ran past him and started to sprint up the steps. Neither boy tried to follow her.

 

------

 

“It's a special time, hardly anyone will eat in the mess tonight,” came Saki's voice from the main room where a feast had been set. Azula was following her nose, her eyes half closed as she had just woken from a long nap when she had fallen to her bed after the encounter with the two Zuko's.

 

The former fire princess walked in to see benches set up in an angular U. The back was facing her and she could see that the avatar and his friends were all sitting there. She forgot what the celebration was for. She didn't really care either. She sighed and walked forward. She hoped that her outburst had done more than just embarrass herself in front of her brother, that it actually been the second one that had been real. Because no matter what she did she could not rationalize two of her brothers. She hoped that meant she was becoming more sane. Which pissed her off more, now she was…

 

“Azi, are you alright?” Azula's eyes snapped up to meet her mother's. Ursa was looking at her worriedly. Azula tensed and tried to not glare at the woman. She didn't want to look suspicious after all. Ursa seemed to look guilty and Azula wondered if Saki had explained what she knew to them. If that was the case, maybe the avatar and his friends did know who she really was and they were just waiting right time to expose her. She didn't know how much she had told her friend that night. She did know that she hadn't told her that she had been the Fire Princess; she doubted that Saki would have taken her back to the village if that had been the case.

 

“Azi, stop spacing out!” shouted Saki right near her ear. Azula flinched and glared at her friend who just took her by the sleeve and sat her next to her mother with a giggle.

 

“What is she doing?” asked Azula watching her friend head over to the other air benders closer to her friend.

 

“I think she's trying to help,” said Ursa softly. She smiled motherly at Azi, who only tensed and turned her head away from her mother. She and Saki were going to have a serious discussion about why trying to fix things with someone who `wasn't actually her mother' was a bad idea. Ursa didn't press for information and spoke to her son easily on the other side of her. Which just made her more angry, she did not need her mother to pick Zuko over her even when she didn't know who she was.

 

“Azi?” asked Saki getting right into Azula's face. Azula twitched a little and looked bored into her eyes.

 

“Yes?”

 

“Talk to her,” she prompted.

 

“No,” Azula said duly. Saki tried to glare at her friend.

 

“Did you eat something bad?” asked the avatar coming up next to Saki. Azula let loose a few giggles. The avatar backed away from the now air wielding air bender. Suddenly the whole group of air benders started to join in, they were forced out by many irritate Elders; a few that could do air bending themselves.

 

“Well, that was interesting,” said Zuko watching them leave with a small blink of surprise. Ursa giggled.

 

“They are very interesting,” her mother commented. Azula decided to ignore both of them. She noticed that her mother seemed to be playing with hair, running a hand through dark tresses. She reached forward suddenly and took the thing in her hand. It was a small earth kingdom doll. She held it away from her suddenly in surprise. Why would her mother have this after such a long time? No, that wasn't right, the last one her uncle had given her she had set it afire. Azula absently stroked the things head -- lost her in her confusion and thoughts.

 

“Azi?” asked Ursa, looking at the girl in surprise. Azula glanced up at her and then down at the doll.

 

“You're a bit old to have a doll aren't you?” asked Azula with a small chuckle she threw the thing back her mother. “I'll catch you guys later; I think I'm going to hit the hay.”

 

Azula ignored the fact that she had just come from sleeping. Perhaps she'd just get some reading in.

 

----

 

It was later when Saki was walking down the halls while apologizing to Ursa about sticking Azi to her. Ursa shook her head and said she knew that she thought it was sweet that Saki was trying to help her friend, but the only one who could really help Azi get over her mother was if she met her mother and the woman explained the way she had acted. Besides that it would probably be best if the girl wasn't around someone who brought up painful memories.

 

Ursa stopped abruptly. So did Saki, but a second later to see what was wrong with Ursa. The woman looked from side to side as if looking for something. Saki looked around as well, and turned to ask what it was the woman thought she felt, or whatever, only to find she was gone and that the door to Azi's room was closing. Saki blinked in surprise and caught the door and watched the woman continue to walk toward Azi.

 

Azi at the moment was curled into a tight ball and was whimpering. Saki leaned against the wall; Azi hardly had a night where her dreams weren't disturbed with nightmares. At least she no longer woke up the moment that someone walked into the room. Then again, most times she didn't wake up she was beyond exhausted. Ursa sat next to the girl and removed the scrolls that were scattered around the blue haired girl and put them away delicately. Ursa then turned back to Azi and carefully put the blanket over her and slipped a doll into her embrace. The amazing thing was that Azi stayed asleep through the whole thing, Saki could tell. Not only that but the bad dream seemed gone and the girl had calmed down, which was something that Saki had never been able to accomplish. They both left the room trying to be as quiet as possible.

 

----

 

Zuko woke up, he blinked and shivered. He was exhausted, and needless to say he was sure he was going to do what Azi did and tell Aang that when he actually figured out what was going on then he could use him in whatever ritual he needed. This last one hadn't even made sense, and Zuko had to come back to his room and stay up late antagonizing over the paperwork that needed his attention and that the assistance (ones that he now trusted) were not qualified to do for him. Some required polite declines. At least he could make the excuse over the air kingdom, people were a little less offended if he said he was trying to fix somewhere that was not his own kingdom. Which was weird, because all they wanted the Fire Nation to do when they were in the war was to get the hell out. Now that it was over all they seemed to do was demand that the Fire Nation help them fix everything up.

 

But back to the problem at hand, what had woken him up? And what was that cool thin tingle of metal against his neck? Zuko moved suddenly, and the person holding the knife to his neck moved back rapidly. Zuko found himself looking up at Azi, she held a knife loosely in her hands and blinking awkwardly at the boy.

 

“Azi?” he asked, a little confused.

 

She blinked again and then seemed to come to herself a little. She looked back between him and her knife. After what felt like an hour she just stood there and slowly lifted her head to the freaked out Fire Lord.

 

“Here,” she said, holding the knife to him hilt first not.

 

“What?” asked Zuko, he had to still be in a dream, this was just messed up.

 

“You like things from the Earth Kingdom right?” Zuko nodded his head. “This knife is from the Earth Kingdom, it even has a neat engraving on the blade. So, yeah, this is now yours.”

 

Zuko looked a little unsure, but took the knife from the girl. She just stared at him for another minute and then left.

 

Zuko sat back on the bed that had been provided for him and tried to figure out what had happened. Nothing came to mind so he just curled up and went back to sleep. Though right before he fell asleep he had to wonder if he had actually seen Azi clutching at the Earth Kingdom doll that she had looked at during dinner.