Avatar The Last Airbender Fan Fiction ❯ Precious Illusions ❯ Courage ( Chapter 10 )

Author's notes: "Hi. I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me?"

Disclaimer: Is not mine, I could never make up something so beautiful and predictable as it, though I do wish I had Zuko (I would lock him in my room and never leave).

 

Warnings: language (the f word is used twice in the fic), a bit of violence, emotional turmoil, insanity, yuri (light and far away), shoujo ai, mentions of shounen ai/yaoi. Original characters, made up avatar creatures (that's all the warning I can think of off the top of my head).

 

Courage by Superchick

Chapter Ten

Courage

 

“I really wasn't sure what to say,” said Sokka, he was there again he wouldn't even stop talking as she was trying to correct one of the children that could seriously injure herself if she kept spinning her air that way during this exercise. “I mean, sure I agreed, but he'd been tracking us all this time, trying to kill us and capture Aang…”

 

“Will you shut up!” Azula finally shouted. She was done with subtle threats and bone chilling looks; it seemed she would have to be direct to get rid of this particular annoyance. “Look you block head of a water tribesmen, leave me the hell alone, at least if you have to talk so incessantly could you choose another topic? If I hear one more retold story about the Fire Lord I am seriously going to send you along with the air benders into the sky! I don't care what Saki said.”

 

“Oh, that reminds me did I tell about the time that I went with Zuko to go rescue..?”

 

“Yes, you've told me about the time that you went with the bloody Fire Lord to recue your father to regain your honor and you faced down impenetrable prison and with your father and the help of people that were supposed to be the bitches friend to turn on her `cause she loved the bloody Fire Lord. Yes I've heard, and now I'd rather never hear mention of it again!” shouted Azula. She did not need to remember one of her most humiliating defeats by the avatar, especially not a version that was said with so much cheer.

 

“Really? Well, I couldn't have told you about the time that Zuko tried to get rid of Aang by trying to…”

 

“Ah!” Azula screamed holding her hands over her ears. Gato looked over their way in concern.

 

“Hey, Miss Priss,” Azula blinked and looked over to Saki, her eyes begging for release from the monster of a peasant. “Stop it you're scaring the children, plus we have a bit of an emergency up at the temple and we need you sane for that. Hey Sokka, there's only about half an hour more, you mind watching the kids with Gato, you've got a bit of experience you tagging along with Azi and all.”

 

Saki took off with Azi before Sokka could get over his shock and tried to protest. Saki giggled all the way to the temple, and Azula eternally grateful.

 

“You're kidding me?” asked Azi as she ran up the stairs and to the side of the cliff.

 

“Nope, seems the kids a little miffed that he's been ignored for so long, personally I think he should have stayed with his parents. At this point in time I don't think the avatar cares how you get the kid down, he's tried everything to get the boy out but it hasn't worked, the kids as slippery as a slug leech. Here we are, his name is Jet,” Saki pushed through the crowd to one of the windows. Azi followed her and then leaned out of the window and turned to see a kid with tribesmen skin and long hair that he tied at the base of his neck with a rap through some strands. He wore all blue clothes with touches of white in the showing through. He was hugging a bag close to him and was huddled over it watching the skies.

 

“We're not coming from that angle anymore, kid,” said Azula dryly. She was surprised to see the boy could even stay perched on the thin ledge, but saw that his back disappeared into the wall, so that's how he got away from the avatar. His wide eyes were looking her way and Azula got her second surprise, the boy had gold eyes.

 

“I'm going to jump, as soon as everyone's gone. No one cares about me anymore. Gran-Gran dumped me on the avatar and then he almost forgot me at the town when he heard about this place, I might as well be gone,” shouted the boy, he was becoming hysterical and had tears in her eyes. Azula sighed, why did people from the water tribe have to be so emotional?

 

“You're too young to be considering suicide. Plus, if you really had wanted to jump you would have waited until the night. Not even you are probably that stupid,” said Azula dryly, the boy glared at her.

 

“You're not getting me down,” said the boy.

 

“Azi, please,” Katara begged behind her. Azula sighed.

 

“Kid, they found out about air benders…”

 

“They didn't know about the air benders until we came here,” the boy practically cried. “And it shouldn't matter because I'm still their responsibility, I hate getting passed around, I hate it!” he flared out and the fire just missed hitting Azula. She blinked in surprise and looked back at the avatar and water tribes-girl, they both looked shocked. Azula sighed in exasperation and stuck her head out of the window and looked out to see the boy was crying into his sleeve.

 

“Now no one will want me!” he wailed.

 

“Kid, stop being so overly dramatic,” snapped Azula. “This isn't such a big secret, I'm pretty sure that there is a certain fire bender in their group and he happens to be the Fire Lord. Now you need proper training so get your little butt over here and we'll sort this all out.”

 

“No, you don't understand. My mom told me…” said the boy, he looked desperate, Azula could relate.

 

“She told you that because we were at war,” cut off Azula. “One of your parents were probably abandoners from the fire kingdom. If someone found out about your heritage it probably wouldn't have gone over well wherever you were well. But they're trying to change that now. The fact that they sent you with the avatar meant they were trying to protect you, but also meant wanted you to see the world and accept… This is ridiculous, kid get over here now!” said Azula. The boy looked at her wide eyed.

 

“No, everyone hates fire benders. I've met fire benders who hated fire benders,” said Jet.

 

“Listen kid, you need to get over here and stop all this,” said Azula and then sighed, she looked over to the kid. Lectures didn't work on him, neither did advice, so she could try to plead, but she was pretty sure the avatar had already tried that. Well, they had said any means to get the kid in. “Boy.”

 

“Jet!” snapped the boy, Azula sighed.

 

“Kid, you know what happens to people like you? People who take their lives, especially for such selfish reason?” the boy shook his head and Azula heard Katara being gagged behind her. “Well, kid you'll be stuck in hottest place you've ever seen, but you'll be cold as ice. You'll be all alone there, no one to help or guide you. All there will be are horrid little fire creatures that coming and burn your skin to a crisp and yet you'll never be able to really feel its warmth.”

 

“He's an orphan,” hissed Katara, she didn't seem impressed with her methods, though she had just given her a good idea.

 

“The worst part though is what you'll see your parents there,” the boy looked hopefully at her and then the drop. “And you'll get to see their deaths replayed over and over again. Were you there when it happened? Do you know how they were killed, heard their dying screams?”

 

Azula looked deep into those golden eyes and could see from the horror in their depths that he had seen at least one of their deaths, and that it was hard sometimes to sleep without the nightmares replaying themselves over and over again. He made a small whimpering noise and scouted further into the wall. Azula guessed that the crevice didn't lead far, just enough to wedge himself in so that no one could force him out.

 

“Are you going to come over now?” asked Azula, one eyebrow raised. Jet nodded but looked at the small ledge with fear. Azula sighed. She'd have to go out and get him. She carefully levered herself out of the window. She stood straight against the wall, her feet half hanging out into air. Quickly as she could she scouted over to the boy and detangled him from the outcrop. He was surprisingly compliant, and his slim limbs wrapped around her waist. He was maybe a thin seven.

 

Then the tremors started. Azula slipped and the boy cried as they fell, but Azula caught both of them with one hand on the ledge. She gritted her teeth as she had grabbed wrong and her wrist had made a sickening snapping noise, but she was able to keep holding on despite the pain, so at least it wasn't broken. The boy was now sobbing into her clothes, soaking the front, and Azula had a hard time keeping him firmly in grip, a good grip on the ledge while the ground shook underneath them, and also ignore the pain shooting through her arm. A flash of gold past her by and the avatar took the boy and flew into the window. Azula rolled her eyes; a quake like this could destroy the side of a cliff all of them should head toward the village.

 

Azula swung her body so that her good wrist now held firm, though her other gave out just as another firm quake rocked the temple. She gasped but kept holding tight. She just had to keep holding on until the tremors stopped and then she could drag herself up and scurry across back to the window. She was surprised when she felt two skinny but muscular arms grab her around the waist and drag her into the air over their shoulder.

 

“Aly-upe,” sang the Avatar happily as he directed his glider through the open window. The tremors stopped a second after they were safely inside.

 

“You bitch!” was all the warning Azula had before Katara struck her across the cheek. “How could you, do you know how hurt he is, just because he's a fire bender doesn't mean you get to terrorize him!”

 

“I didn't terrorize him because he's a fire bender, I terrorized him so that he wouldn't kill himself,” said Azula feeling the place she had been struck tentatively, she worked her jaw a little.

 

“Is that how you treat the kids under your watch? You shouldn't be let in a ten mile radius of children if that's how you treat them!” Katara turned on her heels and picked up the boy in one swoop and was out in a flash. The rest slowly started leaving.

 

“Saki,” said Azula watching them all leave with the same resignation.

 

“Yeah?” asked Saki, her voice holding a tone that Azula couldn't quite piece apart and didn't really want to.

 

“The next time that you ask my help, could you please make sure there are no unnecessary witnesses?” said Azula, almost sounding reasonable. Saki sighed.

 

“You knew they were there, couldn't you have used another method to get him out?” asked Saki.

 

“The only option was leaving him there until he fell asleep or until he came back on his own,” said Azula, she heard the noon bell. She wasn't hungry, so she might as well go catch up on her reading. Or find Gato so that they could practice tomorrow's lesson.

 

“Yeah, but we thought you could think of another way then that,” said Saki, still in relatively high spirits. “Perhaps you should apologize to the avatar and his friends and the boy of course.”

 

“I did think of something else, you just didn't like the other way that I came up with,” said Azula, she headed into her room and started looking for the scrolls she wanted, also taking out an old brown bag. “I don't see what I have to apologize for.”

 

“We were looking for a better way to get him off the side of temple,” said Saki with a sigh from her door.

 

“Yes, well, imagine if I had just gone with the second option, he might have fallen from his perch to his death,” she started shoving the scrolls into the bag.

 

“Or he might have fallen and Aang might have caught him, and the kid would not be emotionally traumatized,” said Saki moving as Azula rushed by her.

 

“It doesn't matter, you asked for my help and I gave it, I do not regret what's already in the past!” said Aula firmly, growing sick of the conversation. It they didn't like the way she did things they should have never asked for her help.

 

“Don't you regret anything you've done, isn't there something in your past that if you could turn back time you could change?” demanded Saki, Azula froze and pursed her lips together.

 

“I'm going down to the lake to read, I'll be there all afternoon. I won't be here for afternoon lessons, but after the display this morning I wouldn't think you'd want me watching kids anyway, now if you'll excuse me,” said Azula, her voice still clipped and her anger audible in her voice. At the moment she didn't think that she would get much reading done, she needed meditation, and while she couldn't fire bend she could still practice her moves as long as she mixed it with others she had learned.

 

Saki just watched her go. Her eyes resigned and sad.

 

----

 

Azula stalked down the hall. It was early morning and by the next bell her class would start. Training the young air benders for the morning. She had gotten a lecture for skipping out yesterday, when she had demanded what they thought of what she had done to get that boy away from the ledge, Elder Tuk had answered that they always known she used questionable means to get the kids to follow her lead, but as long as they were happy they didn't have much choice but to keep her as their teacher. They just said had reinforced the idea that the avatar, or at least his girlfriend, was allowed nowhere near her when she was teaching.

 

Azula stopped outside the door. This was the hall that the avatar and his friends were staying in. She was pretty sure that this was the door she wanted. She knocked. The door opened and a small boy with thin glasses opened the door. He looked up at her and froze, and then moved so she could come into the room.

 

She stepped in briskly and took in everything. The room was rather bare, even for a child that would be bought up on the ideals of an air bender. Nothing was on the floor; in fact the room was immaculate. She looked around and saw that a sleeve was poking out of one drawer. Besides that she saw two scrolls shoved into a dark corner. There was a small boomerang on the side table and a figurine carved out of some animals tooth on the window sill.

 

“You don't have to stand have to stand so far away from me boy,” said Azula not looking at him.

 

“Katara said that I'm not allowed to be near you,” said the boy sniffling a little.

 

“No,” said Azula while turning around to face the boy. “I don't suppose she would want me near you.”

 

The kid looked uncomfortable under her stare and shifted a little from foot to foot. Azula was almost impressed, the boy hadn't run to get Katara or screamed when he had seen her. He had even closed the door behind her. He seemed to be waiting for something. Azula became a little suspicious.

 

“You were brought up under a firm hand,” she whisper.

 

“My mom, she didn't like it when…” the boy looked sad, Azula sighed. She knew very few people who didn't have mother problems. But what about the boy's father? Azula sighed, it wasn't her place. She moved forward and while the boy squirmed he only flinched a little when she reached out and gently touched his forehead. Her eyes widened and she cursed only making him shake a little.

 

“You're burning up, is the Fire Lord going to start teaching you today then?” asked Azula.

 

“No! I don't want to learn fire bending!” the boy screamed. Azula grabbed his shoulder and ducked to his height while forcing him to look at her.

 

“This is not something you get to choose Jet. You're burning up! You don't understand. Fire benders are not like other benders. I'm not saying they're better, but they are different! While the other benders draw their power only from the outside while possessing the power to do so within them, we are born with a certain fire inside of us. While some of our power may come from the sun, and we can borrow fire outside sources, our true fire is born from inside of us. We can't ignore it like the other benders could. If we don't use that power and then learn to harness it then our power will kill us. It will literally eat you from the inside out. Is that what you want boy? To be killed by the fire that is inside you?” asked Azule her voice firm.

 

“Maybe, maybe that will make up for all the things I've done wrong. Maybe wherever mom is she won't have to look at me with those eyes anymore,” he was starting to cry anymore.

 

“Whatever she told you, whatever she couldn't accept about you, that is not your fault, it is her own weakness and you should not have to carry that burden,” Azula's voice was firm and final. “She is no longer the person who looks after you. You now are looked after by your adopted parents and the avatar, they will love you, but they will be proud of you when you can control all this hate you have inside of you and learn to accept who you are.”

 

“My mother gave her life to protect me,” the boy said.

 

“She loved you, but now you must live and die for yourself. She died so you could live on and make a life of your own, I will not let you squander it. Being a fire bender does not make you evil, what you do with that power is what will define you. Now, I'll hear no more protesting, you are coming with me to the training grounds and you're going to be taught with the other kids, except this will be fire bending instead. Don't look at me that way; I learned the basics where I was trained. Though eventually you'll have to take lessons from someone who actually is a fire bender.”

 

“But…” said Jet, Azula sighed.

 

“Listen kid, no one is going to be disappointed that you are able to accept yourself, and that you are doing something that will not only guarantee your life but others since untrained power can lash out if the wielder has no control of it. Well, some people may look down on you, but no one who matters will, you're family and your friends won't, just be truthful upfront, am I understood?” asked Azula, he nodded and she let go of his chin. “Good, now come on, we've only got a few minutes until the bell.”

 

“You always start so early?” Azula raised an eyebrow, he sounded happy about this. She sighed, give him a few years, he wouldn't be so happy about it then.

 

“Yes, don't look so happy about it,” said Azula, they left the room, a door two doors across slid closed abruptly, Azula squinted in that direction, but didn't try to go see who it was. They were leaving her along; she might as well return the favor. “Hey, kid, what was it like living at the North Pole?”

 

“It was fun, I mean, it helped a lot with the heat,” said the boy with a shrug.

 

“When you felt so hot the cold actually helped you to suppress your fire bending?” asked Azula, interesting, but plausible.

 

“Hmhm, after Pakku took me to the North Pole I noticed that it got a little too hot on the trip, but the South Pole cooled down my skin a little,” he then looked serious. “I really didn't start feeling unbearably hot until they sent me with the avatar.”

 

“So, they didn't know you were a fire bender?” asked Azula, he shock is head.

 

“They would have never adopted me if they knew,” he said sadly.

 

“Well, no more hiding from it, go stand with the other kids,” said Azula, her class coming into a line and standing at attention. They knew better then to ask her why she was late by now. She smirked and soon had them all practicing, including the boy.

 

-----

 

The day continued on. Azula concentrated on teaching the kids to do that floating thing on top of a giant air bubble, which was a technique that really needed a name. She watched in mild interest as Gato went around correcting and saving some of the more incompetent little ones, and keeping a slightly wary eye on Jet. She'd have to talk to him about that. Jet was too afraid of his own fire to notice the looks he was getting, but as soon as he mastered this first exercise she was sure that he would be more aware of his surroundings. Plus, the ones after that were more bringing the fire out into the open; this one was just about finding it and culturing it into a small visible flame. It was old, her father had basically banned it, for reasons she couldn't remember. It was supposed to be as ancient as the fire people.

 

The oddest thing about today was that she didn't see her shadow. Had Sokka been that disgusted by what she had done, by the personality and cruelty that she was able to wield? She tried to shrug it off, she didn't care what that water peasant thought of her. But she had grown used to his constant presence, without it, she felt like something was missing. Which was ridiculous because she was pretty sure what she missed the most was the constant chatter, which didn't make sense because these kids were anything but quiet.

 

“Alright, everyone fall in!” shouted Azula. The air benders all came whizzing and limping their way over. “That includes you too Jet, and tomorrow I expect to see actual effort on your part.”

 

The air benders all giggled. Jet blushed and kicked a stray rock.

 

“And Gurlong, I expect you to not show off, I'd rather not try to explain to the Master why your brains are splattered all over the wall,” they all fell into even more giggles and even Jet joined in. Gurlong bumped him and got bumped back, the two boys smiled at each other. At least the brat was good at making friends.

 

“Who the hell let you take charge?” asked Gato coming up besides her. Azula spared him a glare and a jab in the gut.

 

“Don't swear near the children,” she said to the kid's giggles. “Now I want you all to play catch, the only one allowed to use his hands is Jet. And Jet, no trying to burn anything yet you can't even summon fire properly.”

 

“Yeah!” the kids cried and started to puff the ball into the air. They ran after it, all jumping in the air. Gato looked shocked and looked over to her.

 

“Are you feeling okay?” he asked, Azula glanced over to him and glared.

 

“I'm fine, they're allowed fun every once in a while. They're air benders, they don't have that great of attention spans, plus we're in a time of peace, no reason to work them like soldiers. And stop smiling at me like that,” Azula continued to glare, wondering idly when the tables had turned on her and she started getting aggravated by the boy. Maybe around the time she had started thinking him as a friend.

 

“Well, I'm going to referee, why don't you try to get some rest?” he went and started playing with them. Azula rolled her eyes but made to leave.

 

“Excuse me,” the voice was curt and soft. Azula felt her breath catch. No, she had promised. “Excuse me, but would a boy named Jet be here?”

 

“Who's asking?” demanded Azula bitterly. She glared over at the woman. It was her mother, she could tell, her clothes were a bit different, and her hair shorter, Azula wondered why, why had her vision of her mother changed, made her mother older? It didn't matter, she was back after she had promised, she couldn't come back just because Azula was starting to find happiness, starting to move past her old life even though it kept trying to find her again.

 

“His guardians,” was the reply, though she seemed a little concerned.

 

“You mean the guardians he has for the moment,” snapped Azula and then turned. “Jet!”

 

The boy looked confused for a second and then ran over to them.

 

“I have to go back, don't I?” asked the boy sadly.

 

“No use pouting over it. Come on, let's get you back to the water girl before she blows up,” said Azula with a sigh, she waved to Gato who smiled sadly and nodded. “'Cause everyone would knows that a tragedy that would be.”

 

“You know, you could be nicer to Jet, he's a sweet boy,” said Ursa gently.

 

“I like Katara, most of the time, she plays with water with me,” said Jet skipping a little. Azula ignored the disapproving sad look her mother sent them. She didn't need to show her truly insane side to Jet when she had just gained his trust. “Though, she does give really long lectures and makes me eat my vegetables.”

 

“Eat your vegetables, it will help you go strong so you can go out and crush your enemies,” said Azula. Jet giggled, and she blinked and looked down on the boy. She smiled a little.

 

“A little intense, but the boy seems to like you,” said her mother. Azula clenched her fists into a tight fist.

 

“So, Jet…” she started as she walked into the other room, she froze as she saw them all there, Katara was yelling at Saki who looked a little stressed.

 

“There you are Jet, what did I tell you about Azi?” scolded the boy grabbing him hard enough to bruise.

 

“But, she said she'd teach me how to control my fire bending,” whined Jet.

 

“Zuko can teach you, he's an actual fire bender!” said katara.

 

“He's a horrible teacher, aunty Ursa could teach me better then he could,” whined Jet pointing back to Azula's mother. Azula looked at the woman in surprise.

 

“Who?”

 

“This is my mother, Azi,” said Zuko walking toward her to make a formal introduction. He stopped in confusion at her panicked face.

 

Azula turned and took a good look at the woman. She gulped compulsively. No, she couldn't be here. Not in the flesh, but then again, her brother had always loved his mother, so he must have used all resources to find her after he became Fire Lord.

 

“I'm sorry,” she said in a panic and fled. She would not face this woman. Not the woman who claimed to love her and then looked at her with those unforgiving eyes.

 

“Azi!” cried Saki and followed with a quick word to the avatar and his friends. “Azi.”

 

Azula shut her door in Saki's face; she couldn't deal with the girl now. She couldn't lie to her, and yet Saki would force her to tell her what was wrong.

 

“Azi,” said Saki coming up to her and sitting next to her where Azula had thrown herself face first onto the bed. She put a hand on her back, which Azula tried to shrug off. “Come on Azi, don't be this way, tell me what's wrong.”

 

“Nothing, it's just that, when I saw her, she looked so much like my mother,” her voice choked, but she fought it back. “Except for the hair, and face, and clothes.”

 

“So nothing looked like your mother, but you thought she was?” asked Saki lightly. Azula scowled and turned so her back was facing Saki. The air bender sighed and hugged her loosely.

 

“I'm sorry, I do get what you mean, believe it or not,” said Saki. “Is there anything I can do for you?”

 

“Leave,” said Azula sharply. Saki sighed but stood and left, shutting the door behind her. Azula curled up on herself and cried, unable to stop the flow of tears that forced themselves out.

 

----

 

“What happened?” asked Katara when Saki came back. The air bender sighed and resigned herself to the explanation. This was their first exposure to one of Azi's breakdowns, and this one hadn't even been real.

 

“I told you before that Azi saw visions, right?” asked Saki awkwardly, the others nodded. “One of her visions was of her mother, though I thought she was gone by now. Anyway, I guess at a first glance, Madam, you looked like her mother. She just freaked a little over the scare.”

 

“So, one second, she actually see's things that aren't there at all, as in, not even from the spirit world?” asked Sokka looking a little freaked out. Saki just smiled awkwardly and shrugged.

 

“Cool,” said Jet, Saki smiled, that tended to be the kids reactions when they found out.

 

“One second, her mother disappeared?” asked Ursa. Saki blinked at the question.

 

“Yes, um, I have a theory that when someone in away replaces the one who haunts her, the person disappears. I somehow replaced her mother and her friends. She puts way too much pressure on me sometimes,” said Saki with a life.

 

“Did she lose her mother?” asked Zuko.

 

“No, her mother either thought she was or Azi just thinks she thought she was monster. She never really got closure, so she saw her mother everywhere with other people who haunt her dreams,” said Saki with a sigh.

 

“No mother could think of her own daughter as a monster,” said Ursa reverently.

 

“You'd be surprised,” said Jet with a frown.

 

“You are too young to be that cynical,” said Saki pointing a warning finger at Jet.
“And before you ask any more questions, I'm going to have to decline. This is really Azi's business, and if you want any answers you'll have to get them from her from now on. Have a good night.”

 

Saki bowed herself out of the room. She left with a small sigh hoping that she had done the right thing. She didn't want Azi to come off as insane, but she couldn't deny that that was exactly what her friend was. Still, there was something that was pulling at her brain. She knew that something was wrong, she wasn't sure what it was, but something just didn't settle right with her. It had been something that Azi had said, she was sure. But what had the girl done but freak out? It would be nice if Azi was more straight forward. For someone who couldn't tell reality from fantasy, she sure knew how to keep a secret. Still, she trusted Azi, she kept secrets, but if something happened that was more important than the secret then Azi would tell her. Like she had shown that she was a fire bender in order to save them all, in order to save the town. Saki sighed, right, she just had to trust.

 

She wasn't getting much sleep that night.