Ayashi No Ceres Fan Fiction ❯ Rebirth ❯ Chapter 8
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Lina Inverse 
Anime/Manga: Ayashi No Ceres Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Psychological / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.17.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.0K | Visits: 221 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Ayashi No Ceres Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Drama / Mystery / Psychological / Angst | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 11.17.2003 | Pages: 1 | Words: 1.0K | Visits: 221 | Status: Completed
"I was walking to the store with my dad one evening... I looked around at my surroundings, as I always do, and saw identical apartment buildings, narrow dark alleyways, and countless prostitutes. Such was my reality, and I had long grown used to it. A blue Honda Civic sped towards us, litter flying away from its tires. The car screeched to a stop at a red light, and a blond teenage girl in the passenger seat stuck her head out the window, pointed to one of the prostitutes, and cried, 'Look at that woman! She's so beautiful... She's like an angel!'"
All of a sudden, I gasp, then sit silently, my mouth agape.
"Yes?" asks Dr. Kagami.
"That girl... She was Aya... My ex-girlfriend." I pause, then shake the feeling off. "Heh. Based on her age, that must have been the summer right before I came here for college. Anyway, back to my story."
Dr. Kagami nods, gesturing for me to continue.
"I followed her finger and saw that she was pointing at none other than..." A lump appears in my throat, and I swallow in a failed attempt to rid myself of it. Ignoring the lump, I continue in slightly strained speech, "...my mother." The image of her face at that moment lingers in my mind. Her contours so smooth; her expression calm yet seductive. Just like in Aya's painting. It all comes together now... Why Aya's painting looks exactly like my mother. Aya was so enchanted by her beauty in that moment that she had to paint her. I get a sudden urge to see that painting... I have no photos of her, none of her keepsakes... The painting is the only thing there is left to remember her by.
But I'm in Dr. Kagami's office right now. I'll get back to the painting afterwards; I have to finish telling Dr. Kagami my memory. "My mother... She was dressed like a typical prostitute, in almost nothing, and was hitting on a young woman. My father's eyes followed my own, saw the same scene, and then he spat on the ground. 'What the fuck does she think she's doing?' he muttered under his breath, his voice slowly crescendoing. I involuntarily trembled as he began to scream. 'That bitch! It's bad enough that she's a fucking whore... But I never knew she'd go and sell herself to a woman!'
"Somewhere out of my fear, I found my love for my mother. In an instant, it reigned over my entire being, and I could think of nothing but defending what little self-respect remained in her wounded soul. 'Dad...' I whisper into his ear. 'Calm down. You know she doesn't feel anything for that woman, and she's only doing it to hold us over until you find another job.' My dad hadn't had a job for as long as I could remember and wasn't even looking for one, but the last time I had mentioned that- maybe when I was twelve or thirteen- he hit me. So from then on, I made it a habit to pretend he actually was looking for work.
"He responded with yet more anger. 'I don't give a fuck WHY she's sleeping with women. All I care about is that she IS sleeping with them. It's sick, disgusting, immoral.' As if screaming at your wife and beating and raping her aren't, I thought. 'Listen, Dickhead.' Ah, yes, Dickhead. That was his name for me. 'Why do you think you're such a moron? It's because you have a fucking dyke for a mother.'
"Injured by his harsh words, I grew afraid again. 'Dad...' I whispered hesitantly.
"'What is it, Dickhead?' he asked.
"I searched my brain for something to defend Mom, and quickly came up with an idea. 'Mom hasn't ever just come home pregnant. Don't you think it's a good thing that she isn't with men?'
"'Fuck no. Who cares if she's got to take care of more little bastards? She deserves it. What part of 'your mother is a fucking lesbian whore' do you not understand?'"
"Dear God..." gasped Dr. Kagami. "How could he be so insensitive? What's worse... to his own wife and child..."
I sigh. "It's not surprising at all... He's extremely sexist. He thought of my mother as his fucking slave, and me as..." Tears well up in my eyes. "...a burden."
"Don't you ever think of yourself that way. I think you're an amazing person. Think about it: you have the strength to deal with everything that's happened, and you're smart enough to get help. You're a wonderful friend, a good student, and a cherished son."
Confusion crosses over my eyes. "Cherished son...?"
"Your mother cherished you, did she not?"
"Oh... yeah, you're right. Me and my mother... We really bonded, and loved each other a lot."
"You deserved your mother's love."
"...Thank you."
Dr. Kagami carefully changed the subject. "Always keep that in mind over the following week." Clearing his throat, he continued on, "Our time is up. Shall I see you again the same time next week?"
I nod, standing up, then head back to my dormitory. As I plod along, a browning flower bud along the path, killed by a frost, catches my attention. Such an innocent bud, murdered by the harsh reality of nature. And for what? So the frost could have another victim? Or worse... Simply because the frost makes sport of killing young buds?
Just as my father exterminated my mother? And suddenly, I hear him saying just why.
"That fucking dyke deserves to die."
All of a sudden, I gasp, then sit silently, my mouth agape.
"Yes?" asks Dr. Kagami.
"That girl... She was Aya... My ex-girlfriend." I pause, then shake the feeling off. "Heh. Based on her age, that must have been the summer right before I came here for college. Anyway, back to my story."
Dr. Kagami nods, gesturing for me to continue.
"I followed her finger and saw that she was pointing at none other than..." A lump appears in my throat, and I swallow in a failed attempt to rid myself of it. Ignoring the lump, I continue in slightly strained speech, "...my mother." The image of her face at that moment lingers in my mind. Her contours so smooth; her expression calm yet seductive. Just like in Aya's painting. It all comes together now... Why Aya's painting looks exactly like my mother. Aya was so enchanted by her beauty in that moment that she had to paint her. I get a sudden urge to see that painting... I have no photos of her, none of her keepsakes... The painting is the only thing there is left to remember her by.
But I'm in Dr. Kagami's office right now. I'll get back to the painting afterwards; I have to finish telling Dr. Kagami my memory. "My mother... She was dressed like a typical prostitute, in almost nothing, and was hitting on a young woman. My father's eyes followed my own, saw the same scene, and then he spat on the ground. 'What the fuck does she think she's doing?' he muttered under his breath, his voice slowly crescendoing. I involuntarily trembled as he began to scream. 'That bitch! It's bad enough that she's a fucking whore... But I never knew she'd go and sell herself to a woman!'
"Somewhere out of my fear, I found my love for my mother. In an instant, it reigned over my entire being, and I could think of nothing but defending what little self-respect remained in her wounded soul. 'Dad...' I whisper into his ear. 'Calm down. You know she doesn't feel anything for that woman, and she's only doing it to hold us over until you find another job.' My dad hadn't had a job for as long as I could remember and wasn't even looking for one, but the last time I had mentioned that- maybe when I was twelve or thirteen- he hit me. So from then on, I made it a habit to pretend he actually was looking for work.
"He responded with yet more anger. 'I don't give a fuck WHY she's sleeping with women. All I care about is that she IS sleeping with them. It's sick, disgusting, immoral.' As if screaming at your wife and beating and raping her aren't, I thought. 'Listen, Dickhead.' Ah, yes, Dickhead. That was his name for me. 'Why do you think you're such a moron? It's because you have a fucking dyke for a mother.'
"Injured by his harsh words, I grew afraid again. 'Dad...' I whispered hesitantly.
"'What is it, Dickhead?' he asked.
"I searched my brain for something to defend Mom, and quickly came up with an idea. 'Mom hasn't ever just come home pregnant. Don't you think it's a good thing that she isn't with men?'
"'Fuck no. Who cares if she's got to take care of more little bastards? She deserves it. What part of 'your mother is a fucking lesbian whore' do you not understand?'"
"Dear God..." gasped Dr. Kagami. "How could he be so insensitive? What's worse... to his own wife and child..."
I sigh. "It's not surprising at all... He's extremely sexist. He thought of my mother as his fucking slave, and me as..." Tears well up in my eyes. "...a burden."
"Don't you ever think of yourself that way. I think you're an amazing person. Think about it: you have the strength to deal with everything that's happened, and you're smart enough to get help. You're a wonderful friend, a good student, and a cherished son."
Confusion crosses over my eyes. "Cherished son...?"
"Your mother cherished you, did she not?"
"Oh... yeah, you're right. Me and my mother... We really bonded, and loved each other a lot."
"You deserved your mother's love."
"...Thank you."
Dr. Kagami carefully changed the subject. "Always keep that in mind over the following week." Clearing his throat, he continued on, "Our time is up. Shall I see you again the same time next week?"
I nod, standing up, then head back to my dormitory. As I plod along, a browning flower bud along the path, killed by a frost, catches my attention. Such an innocent bud, murdered by the harsh reality of nature. And for what? So the frost could have another victim? Or worse... Simply because the frost makes sport of killing young buds?
Just as my father exterminated my mother? And suddenly, I hear him saying just why.
"That fucking dyke deserves to die."