Batman Fan Fiction ❯ Catwoman: The Tamer ❯ Guess Who ( Chapter 6 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: tory-steller 
Surprise!
Non Anime: Batman Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 03.14.2014 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 182 | Status: Completed
Surprise!
Non Anime: Batman Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Romance / Action | Type: Alternate Universe | Uploaded On: 03.14.2014 | Pages: 2 | Words: 2.9K | Visits: 182 | Status: Completed
Guess Who
An impatient sidekick and a murderous psychopath (minus one blade) stood alongside me in the secret stomping grounds of the only man we had in common. And soon we would be joining forces to rescue him. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help thinking that by the end of this whole ordeal at least one of us would be in need of a memory wipe, else serious consequences arise the night after. Of course, that would have to wait until after we finished bickering like pathetic elementary children in the lunchroom.
"I cannot believe you brought him here! He's our greatest enemy! Threatening the lives and sanity of the members of this family for years, and it's nothing but a sick game to him." She shot the clown a scornful sneer, which he countered with the same bored look he gave me. In fact, he hardly reacted to anything.
"If I didn't bring him along we would have no way of tracking your teammates down. It's not like I had a choice. That's exactly why you don't have any choice but to work with him. Trust me; I don't like it any more than you do." I tried to sound sympathetic for once, but I wasn't very skilled at it. She made that obvious with a scowl under her cowl.
"Trust you? I can barely manage to do that much, so how do you think I feel about him? You don't understand, you haven't seen the evil, the low-level filth that man delights in every moment of his life. I've dealt with it more than you have. So I know never to trust his word." She considered the psycho sitting with his arms crossed and boots propped on a counter-top, looking as if he owned the place, before directing her dagger-sharp eyes back at me. I kept my tongue bit, not comfortable sharing the twisted fantasies the man involved me in, on a more purrsonal scale.
"You know, a long time ago when I was still getting the hang of this sidekick thing, I made a vow, from student to mentor." Her voice had forfeit its fiery edge, and for once, the villain showed interest in what she had to say. He sat up in an exaggerated fashion and his eyes widened in eager anticipation. "He told me, no matter what the circumstances were, I should never sacrifice myself to save him. He told me he could never live with that failure constantly haunting his conscience. I agreed, the man has enough nightmares running through his head, he doesn't need me adding to them."
"So you're just going to abandon the man that practically molded you into who you are today in his time of need?" chimed the sadistic clown. "I have to tell you, kiddo, that's cold, even by my standards. Well… almost anyway. Maybe you and I have more in common than you think." I could've reached out to slap the bastard for his comment, but I trusted the kid to handle herself.
He started to cackle, but she silenced him with an authoritative, "Shut the hell up, you freak!" He surprisingly complied. "Of course I'm going; I'd be a pretty sucky partner if I didn't. I've defied that vow ever since I made it and I'm not going to stop now. I'm just letting you know, if either of you cross me I will bring you down myself." Now it was my turn to be silent, watching the drama unfold in front of me. I felt as if I were sitting front row, watching a heavily dramatic scene of a serious play unfurl; the actors were shit, but very entertaining nonetheless.
"Well, kiddles," the Joker stood, kicking away the chair so it toppled to the floor. "It seems like we're going on this road trip after all. I don't find the destination much of a thrill, but they always say it's more about the journey. I'll let you pack up all your respectable toys while I go drown the lizard. Don't want any accidents to occur while we're out there."
He didn't make it a single step before she stopped him. "You can't be dumb enough to think I'm going to let you go anywhere alone while you're here."
"You're free to help, although I don't really have a huge girl-in-pajamas fetish." She looked confused; as if confusion were unexpected when confronting the Joker. "Which reminds me, who's going to assist your boy-toys when we get there? I don't even enjoy choking my own chicken, so you can count me out." It took a few seconds, but the look of repulsion spoke volumes of her comprehension. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go clear my mind of clarity. All of this rationality and comprehension is starting to bore me."
We were out of the mansion after only a few minutes of me trying to force out of my mind what the clown had to do to get "sane". He was a lot more adamant about the plan once the substance subduing his spirit was released.
"I never noticed how many toys your daddy had at his disposal whilst opposing them, but now that I get to play with them, I must admit, I like mine much better." He laughed while nearly missing the side of a building, scaring both of the Batcopter passengers.
"Explain to me why I'm letting him fly this thing again," Batgirl asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance at my side. I shrugged.
"He supposedly knows where he's going, and he didn't care to share our friend's location. Plus, I don't know how to operate this and you didn't trust him at your back. Smart choice if I do say so myself."
For the rest of the flight, Batgirl and I caught up on a few things. It was a fun little bonding moment when Robin was brought up. She nearly revealed some of the things they did together when Batman wasn't looking, and tried justifying the naughty implications by claiming, "I always saw him as more of a little brother. I swear; a pesky, but occasionally cute and funny little brother." I let the issue rest once I noticed the blush forming on her cheeks.
In no time we were landing on the rooftop of a strange building. Glad not to be suspended in air with a maniac in control of my fate, I was the first to hop off, followed by said maniac, with her taking the rear to "keep an eye" on us. Our only options to venture forward were a single door on the far side of the roof, or over the side. The vote was nearly unanimous.
"What exactly is the plan here?" I asked before any of us actually entered the building. The teen and clown both shrugged.
"What do we need a plan for?" asked the clown. "My true genius shines when I'm improvising, but if you want to know the basics. We go in and rescue your boyfriends by doing the naked dance, fight off a sexual terrorist and if there's enough time, do the naked dance once more for good measure before hauling him off to jail; simple as that."
"Really? So what is your role in all of that? As far as I know, you're terrible in a fight and you're even more useless as a sexual partner. You have nothing to do, so why are you still here? Do you think if you help save him, he'll give you some immunity to vengeance for a night?"
"No, no, don't be silly. I'm only here for the show. Besides… that upstart stole something from me, and I plan on getting it back while you three cause a huge commotion." He snickered, moving past me to open the door without any hesitation. I would've asked him what he meant by three, but the answer came soon enough.
"Puddin'? Is that you?" A frightened young girl's voice called out from beyond the doorway.
"Yes, it's me," he answered woefully, though not loud enough for her to hear.
"If it is, you better untie me right now! I can't believe you locked me in here! How could you be so cruel to your pumpkin? Tying me up like this, to this kinda machine of all things. You better get me off right now or so help me!"
"Harley?" I called out in question, and she set her hateful rant on pause.
"Who the hell is that? You brought another woman up here for your sick games? What, am I not enough woman for you now? You no good, rotten scuzzball! My mama warned me about slick talkers like you…" She went on until the man untied her, but not before the girl and I witnessed what she was hooked up to, and we both turned our heads in disgust at the display. He carried her out into the night's air, and she covered her naked frame up from our view, more out of habit than modesty.
"If I wasn't so weak-kneed right now and needed you to keep me standing up straight I'd slug you right in that handsome nose of yours!" the blond threatened with serious malice, which only made him exhale a twisted wheeze.
"You are a sick bastard," I muttered, stating the obvious, and all eyes were now on me. "You despicable sack of shit! What would possess you to abduct and tie up your own assistant and subject her to an unwilling session of sexual torture?" I'm not sure what caused me to lose my temper like that, but the high-levels of stress I was forced to suffer through tonight were seriously starting to put chinks in my armor.
"You're one to talk kitty. Dressed like that, I'd be surprised if you haven't done something similar to the men that were stupid enough to fall prey to your one-note seductions. As a matter of fact, I know from personal experience that you…" The whip crack caught him on the chin, knocking both of them to the ground and successfully silencing any secrets he planned to reveal about our past together.
"The difference between us is that, unfortunately, I still have a conscience." I'm sure he might have laughed at that if his jaw was operating properly.
"Wait a minute," Batgirl interrupted. Being the least invested in the current debacle meant she was the one most on the ball. With our main lead down, she turned to the naked, wobbly-kneed, sweat-coated Harley Quinn for an answer. "Where is Batman? Was he in there with you?" Harley, the poor girl, looked just about as clueless as she always was, but for good reason this time.
"I've been locked in a damn closet for a week thanks to this pompous ass and his random experiments on new ways to 'Rev up his Harley! VROOM! VROOM!' Ha ha, big joke! How the hell would I know or even care where that other screwball is? If I were decent I'd give that ugly mug of yours a sure needed tune up!" She stuck her tongue out like a cartoon character, causing her nemesis to squint.
"You think you can shut her up too?" she asked me. I snickered, and twirled my whip in hand.
"My pleasure…" I gave the begging, backpedaling girl an evil grin.
"Don't you dare! Whose side are you on anyway? When I get my feet back under me you better believe I'll have my revenge!"
:Whip-crack:
In the end, we were down two buffoonish clowns, but still no Batman. I couldn't help but think I was to blame for this. I'm the one who caused this, by not waiting and observing back in that alleyway. I shouldn't have let him take her home alone; I failed to help him, to listen when I had the chance. Those thoughts kicked me back into kickass mode.
"Whoa!" Someone approached us from behind, and nearly caught the end of my whip with their face. "One of you ladies must have a wicked right hook." It was a relief to see Robin stooped on the edge of the building. His natural confidence was clear in his crossed arms and smug smirk. He looked even cuter than when he was blushing.
"Dick?" the girl at my side asked in disbelief, sounding much younger than her age. "Where the hell have you been? I was forced to team up with criminals in an effort to get you back, and you just show up out of the blue like you haven't been M.I.A! How did you get away?" That was a good question. When I made my escape, there was no sign of the kid. I assumed our assailant chose to keep the more intimidating of us under constant watch.
"I was never a captive to begin with." I'm sure Batgirl had a delayed jaw dropping reaction the same as me. He shrugged at us. "Yeah, I watched that masked guy haul off with Batman, Catwoman and that doctor lady all tied up. He left me there on the floor, not even bothering to make sure I couldn't get away."
"You're kidding!" the girl and I cried in unison. He came away from the roof's edge to examine my handy work, whistling at the unconscious couple of loons.
"Nope, not kidding. The way he explained it, I'm just not important enough to be a part of his collection. Nor would I be any threat to his operations, and by the time I got free the world as I knew it would be spiraling down in anarchy. Very cliché of him, if I do say so myself. Hopefully I didn't miss too much in my absence." He turned his attention from them to us. "By the way, do we know where Batman is?"
"You mean you don't?" she asked on my behalf. My relief wore off seeing his shaking head. We managed to rescue those who weren't in any danger just fine, but it was just a waste of time to me; time that Batman didn't have to spare.
"Of course not, Barbs. It was a genius stroke of luck just coming across you guys. I spotted you flying in the sky while I was making my way back to the cave and decided to track you. To be honest, I mistook you for him, but I guess he's still in peril. Guess we should hurry to rescue him? After you ladies, if you have any leads."
"Well… I kinda just incapacitated our only lead," I admitted bashfully. Together we turned to check on the clown, and were shocked to find they both had vanished without a trace. "Where in the… Quick, over the side!" I yelled.
Sure enough, we found him cackling away with the still unconscious, indecently exposed blond in arms. He was using a pair of puffed up parachute pants to have a cushioned drop to the streets below. A double cross from the Joker was a punchline I should have anticipated, but his escape seemed too tame...
That is, until the beeping began.
Starting at a subtle hum, it soon crescendoed into a roaring alarm we were unable to ignore. I had my ears covered, attempting to block out the piercing chirp to no avail. "What in the…"
BOOM
The explosion rocked the roof to its crumbling point and we would've fallen into a pit of fire if Robin hadn't had his hand already holding onto the side. We all dangled above death, and the scorching inferno beneath kissed at my heels, wishing to consume me. I fought the urge not to look down by closing my eyes.
"Hey! As much as I love hanging out with you ladies, we don't really have time for this." The strain in the boy's voice as well as his face told me he couldn't hold us up for much longer. His grip was slipping, and holding us both up with one arm had to be taxing. Not only that, but if the Joker were to slip away…
Only the heat made climbing my way up their bodies worth breaking a sweat. I assisted in pulling them up before scanning the streets for any sign of the clown. "Hurry!" I commanded after spotting him run down an alleyway, "We can't afford his escape."
We jumped in unison. Robin mentioned something about not missing anything during his inactive period. I wished I could co-sign, but truthfully, I was missing something very dearly. My only coping thought was that soon I would have it all back. Nothing would stand in my way of bringing him back to me.
An impatient sidekick and a murderous psychopath (minus one blade) stood alongside me in the secret stomping grounds of the only man we had in common. And soon we would be joining forces to rescue him. In the back of my mind, I couldn't help thinking that by the end of this whole ordeal at least one of us would be in need of a memory wipe, else serious consequences arise the night after. Of course, that would have to wait until after we finished bickering like pathetic elementary children in the lunchroom.
"I cannot believe you brought him here! He's our greatest enemy! Threatening the lives and sanity of the members of this family for years, and it's nothing but a sick game to him." She shot the clown a scornful sneer, which he countered with the same bored look he gave me. In fact, he hardly reacted to anything.
"If I didn't bring him along we would have no way of tracking your teammates down. It's not like I had a choice. That's exactly why you don't have any choice but to work with him. Trust me; I don't like it any more than you do." I tried to sound sympathetic for once, but I wasn't very skilled at it. She made that obvious with a scowl under her cowl.
"Trust you? I can barely manage to do that much, so how do you think I feel about him? You don't understand, you haven't seen the evil, the low-level filth that man delights in every moment of his life. I've dealt with it more than you have. So I know never to trust his word." She considered the psycho sitting with his arms crossed and boots propped on a counter-top, looking as if he owned the place, before directing her dagger-sharp eyes back at me. I kept my tongue bit, not comfortable sharing the twisted fantasies the man involved me in, on a more purrsonal scale.
"You know, a long time ago when I was still getting the hang of this sidekick thing, I made a vow, from student to mentor." Her voice had forfeit its fiery edge, and for once, the villain showed interest in what she had to say. He sat up in an exaggerated fashion and his eyes widened in eager anticipation. "He told me, no matter what the circumstances were, I should never sacrifice myself to save him. He told me he could never live with that failure constantly haunting his conscience. I agreed, the man has enough nightmares running through his head, he doesn't need me adding to them."
"So you're just going to abandon the man that practically molded you into who you are today in his time of need?" chimed the sadistic clown. "I have to tell you, kiddo, that's cold, even by my standards. Well… almost anyway. Maybe you and I have more in common than you think." I could've reached out to slap the bastard for his comment, but I trusted the kid to handle herself.
He started to cackle, but she silenced him with an authoritative, "Shut the hell up, you freak!" He surprisingly complied. "Of course I'm going; I'd be a pretty sucky partner if I didn't. I've defied that vow ever since I made it and I'm not going to stop now. I'm just letting you know, if either of you cross me I will bring you down myself." Now it was my turn to be silent, watching the drama unfold in front of me. I felt as if I were sitting front row, watching a heavily dramatic scene of a serious play unfurl; the actors were shit, but very entertaining nonetheless.
"Well, kiddles," the Joker stood, kicking away the chair so it toppled to the floor. "It seems like we're going on this road trip after all. I don't find the destination much of a thrill, but they always say it's more about the journey. I'll let you pack up all your respectable toys while I go drown the lizard. Don't want any accidents to occur while we're out there."
He didn't make it a single step before she stopped him. "You can't be dumb enough to think I'm going to let you go anywhere alone while you're here."
"You're free to help, although I don't really have a huge girl-in-pajamas fetish." She looked confused; as if confusion were unexpected when confronting the Joker. "Which reminds me, who's going to assist your boy-toys when we get there? I don't even enjoy choking my own chicken, so you can count me out." It took a few seconds, but the look of repulsion spoke volumes of her comprehension. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go clear my mind of clarity. All of this rationality and comprehension is starting to bore me."
We were out of the mansion after only a few minutes of me trying to force out of my mind what the clown had to do to get "sane". He was a lot more adamant about the plan once the substance subduing his spirit was released.
"I never noticed how many toys your daddy had at his disposal whilst opposing them, but now that I get to play with them, I must admit, I like mine much better." He laughed while nearly missing the side of a building, scaring both of the Batcopter passengers.
"Explain to me why I'm letting him fly this thing again," Batgirl asked, not bothering to hide her annoyance at my side. I shrugged.
"He supposedly knows where he's going, and he didn't care to share our friend's location. Plus, I don't know how to operate this and you didn't trust him at your back. Smart choice if I do say so myself."
For the rest of the flight, Batgirl and I caught up on a few things. It was a fun little bonding moment when Robin was brought up. She nearly revealed some of the things they did together when Batman wasn't looking, and tried justifying the naughty implications by claiming, "I always saw him as more of a little brother. I swear; a pesky, but occasionally cute and funny little brother." I let the issue rest once I noticed the blush forming on her cheeks.
In no time we were landing on the rooftop of a strange building. Glad not to be suspended in air with a maniac in control of my fate, I was the first to hop off, followed by said maniac, with her taking the rear to "keep an eye" on us. Our only options to venture forward were a single door on the far side of the roof, or over the side. The vote was nearly unanimous.
"What exactly is the plan here?" I asked before any of us actually entered the building. The teen and clown both shrugged.
"What do we need a plan for?" asked the clown. "My true genius shines when I'm improvising, but if you want to know the basics. We go in and rescue your boyfriends by doing the naked dance, fight off a sexual terrorist and if there's enough time, do the naked dance once more for good measure before hauling him off to jail; simple as that."
"Really? So what is your role in all of that? As far as I know, you're terrible in a fight and you're even more useless as a sexual partner. You have nothing to do, so why are you still here? Do you think if you help save him, he'll give you some immunity to vengeance for a night?"
"No, no, don't be silly. I'm only here for the show. Besides… that upstart stole something from me, and I plan on getting it back while you three cause a huge commotion." He snickered, moving past me to open the door without any hesitation. I would've asked him what he meant by three, but the answer came soon enough.
"Puddin'? Is that you?" A frightened young girl's voice called out from beyond the doorway.
"Yes, it's me," he answered woefully, though not loud enough for her to hear.
"If it is, you better untie me right now! I can't believe you locked me in here! How could you be so cruel to your pumpkin? Tying me up like this, to this kinda machine of all things. You better get me off right now or so help me!"
"Harley?" I called out in question, and she set her hateful rant on pause.
"Who the hell is that? You brought another woman up here for your sick games? What, am I not enough woman for you now? You no good, rotten scuzzball! My mama warned me about slick talkers like you…" She went on until the man untied her, but not before the girl and I witnessed what she was hooked up to, and we both turned our heads in disgust at the display. He carried her out into the night's air, and she covered her naked frame up from our view, more out of habit than modesty.
"If I wasn't so weak-kneed right now and needed you to keep me standing up straight I'd slug you right in that handsome nose of yours!" the blond threatened with serious malice, which only made him exhale a twisted wheeze.
"You are a sick bastard," I muttered, stating the obvious, and all eyes were now on me. "You despicable sack of shit! What would possess you to abduct and tie up your own assistant and subject her to an unwilling session of sexual torture?" I'm not sure what caused me to lose my temper like that, but the high-levels of stress I was forced to suffer through tonight were seriously starting to put chinks in my armor.
"You're one to talk kitty. Dressed like that, I'd be surprised if you haven't done something similar to the men that were stupid enough to fall prey to your one-note seductions. As a matter of fact, I know from personal experience that you…" The whip crack caught him on the chin, knocking both of them to the ground and successfully silencing any secrets he planned to reveal about our past together.
"The difference between us is that, unfortunately, I still have a conscience." I'm sure he might have laughed at that if his jaw was operating properly.
"Wait a minute," Batgirl interrupted. Being the least invested in the current debacle meant she was the one most on the ball. With our main lead down, she turned to the naked, wobbly-kneed, sweat-coated Harley Quinn for an answer. "Where is Batman? Was he in there with you?" Harley, the poor girl, looked just about as clueless as she always was, but for good reason this time.
"I've been locked in a damn closet for a week thanks to this pompous ass and his random experiments on new ways to 'Rev up his Harley! VROOM! VROOM!' Ha ha, big joke! How the hell would I know or even care where that other screwball is? If I were decent I'd give that ugly mug of yours a sure needed tune up!" She stuck her tongue out like a cartoon character, causing her nemesis to squint.
"You think you can shut her up too?" she asked me. I snickered, and twirled my whip in hand.
"My pleasure…" I gave the begging, backpedaling girl an evil grin.
"Don't you dare! Whose side are you on anyway? When I get my feet back under me you better believe I'll have my revenge!"
:Whip-crack:
In the end, we were down two buffoonish clowns, but still no Batman. I couldn't help but think I was to blame for this. I'm the one who caused this, by not waiting and observing back in that alleyway. I shouldn't have let him take her home alone; I failed to help him, to listen when I had the chance. Those thoughts kicked me back into kickass mode.
"Whoa!" Someone approached us from behind, and nearly caught the end of my whip with their face. "One of you ladies must have a wicked right hook." It was a relief to see Robin stooped on the edge of the building. His natural confidence was clear in his crossed arms and smug smirk. He looked even cuter than when he was blushing.
"Dick?" the girl at my side asked in disbelief, sounding much younger than her age. "Where the hell have you been? I was forced to team up with criminals in an effort to get you back, and you just show up out of the blue like you haven't been M.I.A! How did you get away?" That was a good question. When I made my escape, there was no sign of the kid. I assumed our assailant chose to keep the more intimidating of us under constant watch.
"I was never a captive to begin with." I'm sure Batgirl had a delayed jaw dropping reaction the same as me. He shrugged at us. "Yeah, I watched that masked guy haul off with Batman, Catwoman and that doctor lady all tied up. He left me there on the floor, not even bothering to make sure I couldn't get away."
"You're kidding!" the girl and I cried in unison. He came away from the roof's edge to examine my handy work, whistling at the unconscious couple of loons.
"Nope, not kidding. The way he explained it, I'm just not important enough to be a part of his collection. Nor would I be any threat to his operations, and by the time I got free the world as I knew it would be spiraling down in anarchy. Very cliché of him, if I do say so myself. Hopefully I didn't miss too much in my absence." He turned his attention from them to us. "By the way, do we know where Batman is?"
"You mean you don't?" she asked on my behalf. My relief wore off seeing his shaking head. We managed to rescue those who weren't in any danger just fine, but it was just a waste of time to me; time that Batman didn't have to spare.
"Of course not, Barbs. It was a genius stroke of luck just coming across you guys. I spotted you flying in the sky while I was making my way back to the cave and decided to track you. To be honest, I mistook you for him, but I guess he's still in peril. Guess we should hurry to rescue him? After you ladies, if you have any leads."
"Well… I kinda just incapacitated our only lead," I admitted bashfully. Together we turned to check on the clown, and were shocked to find they both had vanished without a trace. "Where in the… Quick, over the side!" I yelled.
Sure enough, we found him cackling away with the still unconscious, indecently exposed blond in arms. He was using a pair of puffed up parachute pants to have a cushioned drop to the streets below. A double cross from the Joker was a punchline I should have anticipated, but his escape seemed too tame...
That is, until the beeping began.
Starting at a subtle hum, it soon crescendoed into a roaring alarm we were unable to ignore. I had my ears covered, attempting to block out the piercing chirp to no avail. "What in the…"
BOOM
The explosion rocked the roof to its crumbling point and we would've fallen into a pit of fire if Robin hadn't had his hand already holding onto the side. We all dangled above death, and the scorching inferno beneath kissed at my heels, wishing to consume me. I fought the urge not to look down by closing my eyes.
"Hey! As much as I love hanging out with you ladies, we don't really have time for this." The strain in the boy's voice as well as his face told me he couldn't hold us up for much longer. His grip was slipping, and holding us both up with one arm had to be taxing. Not only that, but if the Joker were to slip away…
Only the heat made climbing my way up their bodies worth breaking a sweat. I assisted in pulling them up before scanning the streets for any sign of the clown. "Hurry!" I commanded after spotting him run down an alleyway, "We can't afford his escape."
We jumped in unison. Robin mentioned something about not missing anything during his inactive period. I wished I could co-sign, but truthfully, I was missing something very dearly. My only coping thought was that soon I would have it all back. Nothing would stand in my way of bringing him back to me.