Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ The Truth Behind Demons ❯ Truth Be Told ( Chapter 25 )
[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]
By: Linkin Fantasy 
Anime/Manga: Beyblade Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 12.01.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 236 | Status: Completed
Anime/Manga: Beyblade Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Angst / Psychological / Drama | Type: Yaoi | Uploaded On: 12.01.2006 | Pages: 3 | Words: 4.2K | Visits: 236 | Status: Completed
A.N: Thanks to all who have read. And all who are gonna read, those who review or don't and that's all. See ya. Enjoy the end. Fantasy.
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Chapter 25
Rei snuggled into Kai's chest, wondering if he was awake, if he were coherent enough to understand him if he started talking to him. Closing his eyes he smiles. This felt good. He hadn't had an honest smile since that night in the woods and he didn't think, toward himself, that was humanly possible. Maybe it was better he didn't tell Kai about his past just yet, he could just lay in this feeling of warmth and comfort for a bit longer.... Who was he kidding.
"Kai, I wanna tell you something." He said as clear voiced as he could.
Kai, who is brushing his fingers through the other males hair, leans over nuzzling his face into Rei's hair. He wondered what had happened to the boys hair, but he figured if Rei wanted him to know, he would have told him. "Hm?"
Sitting up on a lean, he looks down at the Russian. "Really.... and I want you to know that when I tell you this if you want to leave me, you can."
Kai laughs to his self, reaching up moving a bit of the boys bangs. "I would never. Rei.... if you ever have anything to say to me, you just do it. I won't judge you."
"Even if I told you that I wanna be with you, that I'm sorry that I took so long deciding to love you even though I have for a long time?"
"Most of all." Sitting up, he wraps his arms around him. "I want you to be happy because you're free. Free from this secret that's been controlling your life- we all have them, but yours seems to be killing you, Rei. And I don't want that because it would kill me to not have you around. Same goes for a lot of people."
Rei knew that, he really did. But this was major, being retarded for life- special attention because of it. How could Kai be with someone who was gonna talk funny and act weird without even knowing they were doing it. How many good days would he have, how many days would he have to feel normal? Two, ten..... Maybe a couple seconds out of a day? It seemed to be a bit of a burden, like all the love in the world couldn't put up with that- that's why everyone leaves him. His brother left, his parents, his uncle banished him. Who does he have? Tyson may still be mad, Ozuma would follow his lead. He shot Tala a dirty look so he may be on the ropes with all of them, but then there's Kai. He looks at him. He could talk to him so easily, so why not tell him.
The older male smiled. "You're thinking awefully hard. Ready to tell me what's going on up there?"
"....I'll just jump right in, I guess." Looking him in the eyes, he swallows hard. "I've been struggling with Schizophrenia since I was seven years old. I was diagnosed with it when I hit ten. No one knew what was wrong with me up until then and I've had a rough childhood because of it." He felt the tears coming on at just the thought of it all as he spoke about the kids in the village, school, Lee leaving him.
"Everyone thought I was doing it for attentions sake, especially when I told them I wanted Lee to walk me to school so I'd feel safe." He laughed quietly. "Can you believe I was so messed up I honestly started to believe those sick bastards when they said I was in love with my brother.... I would hold his hand like it were just for me, hang out with him like he belonged only to me...... But then... I guess he got sick of it because he left me."
Kai didn't know what to say, if he were supposed to say something at all. He knew Rei just wanted his undivided attention so that's what he would get. He listened as the boy explained to him about a man that's been stalking him, or at least that's what he thought but it turned out that this person was just a mirror image that was bouncing off the building across the street.
"Those jerks in the city had fun with that, saying that poor little mountain boy gets so confused when he sees all the lights and things. Boo hoo."
'Assholes.' Thinks the Russian.
Rei shook his head sadly. "I gave the villagers a bad name, how could people not know about it when you've got cops bringing you to and from school?" A pout mared his lips as he began to cry. "I hated all that attention, I was just a shy little kid. I never wanted any of that to happen but it did. When I hit ten my parents took me to therapy, it cost so much money that all they talked about was how they were gonna pay for it. Lee never knew about any of it. He did so much for me with finding out about Crack that I didn't wanna give him more to worry about."
Kai could understand that. He would be the same way towards anyone he admired that much; never be a problem for them because you love them too much to worry them any further.
"So there I was. Ten years old and on medication...... Lee left when I stopped having nightmares, I stopped seeing that guy." He figits for a bit, picking at the blanket. "He wrote me every week and I did the same. Nothing was right when he left home, no kids came by and when they did I thought that they only wanted to make fun of me again." Overcome with the memories he began to cry. Kai held him, stroking his back, his own tears falling on his moving hands. How could anyone be ok with a childhood like that. It sounded like Hell. The only trouble he's ever had was deciding if he should pick out his own clothes instead of, Ari mina, his dresser.
Composing his self, he clung to Kai even tighter than he was before. He could feel the boys heart racing in his chest. He was so worked up about all of this, he was almost tempted to tell him that he didn't have to go on. but it really was good for you not to keep things bottled up. Placing a kiss to the top of the boys head, he felt him nod to say he was ready to go on.
"So, a little time passed and things were normal. I felt kind of.... drained because of the pills but mostly they were working. So good, right. When my parents felt I was well enough, I went to visit my uncle from time to time so I could see Lee. I hated it. Lee had a new life, new friends and none of it made sense to me. I kept thinking that, maybe I was just a stupid mountain kid afraid of everything, so why bother trying to fit in. But Lee was the same. He loved me, looked after me and tried to introduce me to all his friends. They thought, 'boy you're a pretty little boy!' Even when I didn't know I was gay I was labeled." His tears began again, he shook his head. "When I came home, he was there. I told my parents and they said that I must be lapsing or something and I should take my medication. I did and it didn't work, he was still there."
Kai wiped the boys face with his palm to get rid of the tears that were only replaced by more.
"I hate being alone. I'm always so afraid. That's why I never told because if I did people would leave me. Everyone leaves me."
"I won't leave you." Kai whispered.
Rei cried again, for a while, but Kai held him tightly. He pets the boy, gives him comforting hushes and kisses until he was ready to speak again.
"Kai... I'm not gonna get any better. I can have sessions, most people with this are outpatients. But.... I read up on it and even though a lot of people live comfortable lives with this, a lot of people.... they become so freaked out that they harm themselves" There was a huge weight that hung in the air with those words. "Sometimes they harm other people....." his sobs started again. "I just didn't wanna be abandoned, I hate being alone."
It was all starting to make sense to Kai now. Rei told him that the reason he's even with his brother is because his parents died. He never said how they died, or.... "Rei... you mean?"
The boy began to sob almost violently. It made Kai cry too. No kid should have to.... "Oh Rei, I'm so sorry."
"Crack talked to me.... I ignored him for the most part but... Sometimes he knew how to push my buttons and I was so confused. I didn't tell my mom and dad because they would just tell me to pop a pill but.... I think they were making it worse. They were so weak that I needed a refill but we couldn't afford it and uncle Stans money wasn't an option because we didn't take hand outs. Kon's work for what they have....." He was silent a moment, when he spoke his voice was dead and flat.
"The window in my room was open, I didn't open it. but when I looked down there he was, laughing, talking, telling me that he heard my parents say that they were gonna send me to a home to be looked after. I'd be away from everyone I know, around people who were gonna stare at me and pity me." He sniffles. "He told me I could stop them..... I didn't wanna listen so I screamed. I ran out into the woods and I guess I made so much noise that they woke up and followed me. I heard him calling my name- it was always mental, his voice, never physical to my ears. But this time there were two other voices" he wipes his nose and sniffles. "I was so... bugged out of my mind that I didn't put one and two together I just-... really wanted to get rid of Crack so, I lured him to the cliffs."
Kai had the image in his head. A scared boy running through the woods, his parents terrified for him because of his illness and he was sure they got the crash course of what it was all about but it didn't mean their death was Rei's fault. He had to know that. "Rei. you didn't kill your parents." He was shocked at how thick and dry his voice had become from his tears. Even more surprised when the boy shook his head, stubborn to believe. "Rei, it was dark, you didn't know what you were doing- they couldn't see either."
"Only the kids knew those parts of the woods.... I knew them so well, I could run it in my sleep- I thought I was asleep..... then I hid beside a tree and waited for him to show up. He brought friends, they were all gonna hurt me..." The tears started again. "I just didn't wanna be alone." He sobs. "When they got to the cliff and looked down, I didn't see Crack, but I knew he would come out and I had to stop them so I wouldn't be out numbered. Rushing up to them they turned, my mother and father looked at me- so scared- I couldn't stop myself from doing it until it was too late."
Kai's silent tears fell harder now. Rei didn't want to be with people who knew about his problem, who, in his opinion planned to send him away. He shoved his parents off the cliff and he was reliving that pain every day.
"Crack jumped me, pinned me down. I screamed when he spoke to me." His eyes were wide as if he could see it all. "I could hear him... Crumble, crumble, crack, crack. He said this over and over until he screamed it in my face. I heard the cliffs falling, my parents cries.... the sickening cracking sound when they hit the bottom.... His face, looking down at me, so real I could almost touch him- I have never seen him before this. He wasn't just a man, he was broken... the blood, the dirt and rocks." Rei shook his head to remove the thoughts. "He's everywhere to me. He's been reminding me of what I did. His face.... his face is their face, together, the pain of the next day. I don't even know how I ended up in my bedroom but my neighbor came in with the cops.... they told me to look at them they forced me- said I had to identify them- as if I didn't know!"
Kai lay them down, arms still around the boy and they cried together. Rei repeating, that he killed them, his words breaking every now and then when he said that he was sorry. Kai wouldn't stand for this any longer. What happened wasn't Rei's fault! It was the medication, they all have side effects and if the things were getting weak they weren't working. The poor boy...
"Rei... I want you to listen to me. What happened to your parents is not your fault, you may think so, but it isn't.... You were a victim in that incident just as much as they were- none of you were ready to take on such a heavy challenge no matter how stronge your family is, this is something more." Rei seemed to be listening, sniffles coming out every now and then. "You were a kid, you were frightened of being alone and you felt your entire world crum-," deciding that was a bad choice of wording he changed it. "Falling down all around you." He looks at the boy. "My instincts would have told me to run as well.... I've never been alone in my life, so I can't imagine what it was like for you, but I know that- thinking about it now, I would have truly lost my mind."
"You would?"
"Not having Tala or Bryan or the others would have been horrible in my past, and now the thought of not having you scares me in the same way. I need every person I have now- it's a normal reaction to a tense situation..." His voice quited. "Some people concider themselves to be lone wolves but deep down they want that one person to latch on to, to let them know that they matter and Rei," he moved him up so they could look at each other. "You matter. No one would leave you, not ever. I don't know why Lee moved in with your uncle or why your parents couldn't take care of you right but think about it, think of how hard they tried in doing it."
Kai was right. They had tried hard, they only kept his condition secret because they knew how shy he was and uncomfortable with people making fun of him- if they would. His parents love him, and their voices, those were just hauntings of his messed up brain. Lee told him that he came to Japan for schooling but in the end he wanted to be back home with him. He has people who love him that aren't in his family too.
"I'm so stupid." He sobbed.
"You're normal." He hugged him back to his chest. "You're just- normal."
Rei wept until he had no tears to give. Everything felt so clear, so silent and still. Crack had vanished, he didn't even feel the image running around in his head. He could feel the door to the cage he'd been in opening. It wasn't his fault, he didn't get this disease because of any thing more than an accident. Any problems he caused because of it, were just that, the illness. He should have realized that long ago. But it was hard when you're alone in the darkness. But there was something keeping him back from being truly free.
"I have to tell Lee. He has a right to know." Kai nods. "I just hope he doesn't hate me for it... He was the golden child, they loved him so much."
"He thinks you're the golden child. And he loves you."
Rei nods to that, a yawn coming to his mouth. "Kai.... Aren't you scared?"
"Of what?"
"My loneliness.... What if I panic and think you're gonna leave me, what if I hurt you?"
"So hurt me, hurt everyone. We can take it."
Sighing, Rei closed his eyes. "Don't joke about it."
"I'm not. We can take care of you. We can help you through this and you'll be one of those people who can live with it- like you said."
"And you won't be embarrassed to be with someone who talks funny, honey bunny."
"Are you kidding? That could become the next thing, cling."
Rei laughed to that. "I love you."
"I love you too." He pets his hair. "Rei, what happened to your hair?"
"Uuuhhh, my uncle kind of went barbershop on me because he found out I was gay." He blushed. "Do you like it."
Looking it over, he nods his approval. "Yeah. It suits you."
They're silent a moment. Kai thought the other boy had fallen asleep but he could feel his index finger tracing his belly button. "I used to cry, at night, thinking that if people found out about my illness they would treat me like everyone treats the voices in my head- invisible. But, I see now that I was the one doing that to myself." He sighs. "I never like it when people tell others who to hate; but in the end, it's like I had another me telling me that I should keep people at arms length- have them leave me before they find out and go on their own..... Crack wasn't making it any easier."
"Is he here now?" He looked around the small room.
"No. It feels like he's really gone now. Maybe now that the truth is coming out and he has nothing to hold over my head, he split." Kai nods. "Will they still love me, Kai? Lee and Tyson and Ozuma and the others."
"I think they will. Just trust us."
With that Rei fell fast asleep and Kai followed shortly after. That night, Rei had one last dream, he told everyone about his secret, his lies and his illness and they hugged him. One by one, smiling telling him that they loved him. He even saw Max there! It would be nice to get to know the boy, from what he knew he really is a good guy. Everything was going so well until a dark cloud appeared, with it came Crack. He was huge! Eye ablaze, teeth bared and he grabbed him by the neck. Holding him over the cliff, he screamed at him.
"CRAAAACK!!!!!"
The image broke and Rei sat up, breathing heavily, frightened. Looking down, he sees Kai, still beside him, sleeping. Turning his head, he sees the blinds are open letting in a large amount of sunlight. He smiles. Today will be the end, the day he ends the nightmares and frees his self.
...........................
Lee knelt down touching his hand to the soft grass of his mothers resting place. Then came his fathers. Tears in his eyes, he then held his hand to his brothers. It had been three days in the hospital for the boy before they pronounced him dead. Kai had brought him in when he began to shake violently in his sleep during a seizure. His brother was taken away from him too soon. He was supposed to go first, but not Rei. Never Rei. The doctors told him that his brother had died of a blood disease brought on by the change of anti-depressents. Had he come in sooner they could have caught it but no one knew he was suffering inside......
Kai walked over to Lee, kneeling down with his hand on the boys shoulder for comfort. It was all he could give, he didn't know what else there was. Everyone had come to the funeral, here in China on the mountain.... it's where his brother would want to be the most. With his parents.... resting....... Tyson, Ozuma, Brooklyn, Zeo, Kane, Kenny, Mariam, Max, Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Ian anyone that Rei had touched showed up to wish him a good bye.
Lee had walked off, wanting to be alone with his pain. Kai didn't blame him, he was about to let the flood gates open as well.
"You must be Kai." Said Tyson, sitting down beside him.
Kai turned his vision to him, then back at his loves headstone. "You must be Tyson." He replies.
"I hate this.... Why Rei? He never.... He never got to know just how sorry I was for hurting him." Tyson lowered his head. "I hurt him so much.... I never meant to."
"He knew that. That night.... he told me how happy he was for you and Max." Kai looks at him. "How he never meant to make you feel bad, but it happened."
"Rei said that?" He looks away from him. "He was always positive even when things were bad. He seemed to wanna look on the bright side..... I'm sucha jerk."
Kai agreed with that, but he didn't say it. Now was not the time to. Turning, he instead wrapped the boy in a hug. Shocked, Tyson hugged back, tears in his eyes.
"Rei would have wanted this.... you and me... to be friends."
"Yeah, he would. I'm sorry for hating you- you know with out really knowing you first."
"Forget it." He lets him go. "Let's just make sure that when he looks down on us he can smile."
Brooklyn watched them from behind a tree. His eyes sad, but he has a smile on his face. Turning his head, he looks at the younger Kon and smiles a bit sad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Rei.... I never meant for this to happen, I just didn't want to scare you....."
"Never mind that." Rei says quietly. "I get to see everyone- all the time now, and my parents..... I'm happy Brooklyn. Really happy. Tell everyone not to cry because I'm not alone anymore." And with that he vanished.......
The sun smiled down on that day. In hopes to bring high spirits, but none as bright and happy than Rei's.
THE END
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Chapter 25
Rei snuggled into Kai's chest, wondering if he was awake, if he were coherent enough to understand him if he started talking to him. Closing his eyes he smiles. This felt good. He hadn't had an honest smile since that night in the woods and he didn't think, toward himself, that was humanly possible. Maybe it was better he didn't tell Kai about his past just yet, he could just lay in this feeling of warmth and comfort for a bit longer.... Who was he kidding.
"Kai, I wanna tell you something." He said as clear voiced as he could.
Kai, who is brushing his fingers through the other males hair, leans over nuzzling his face into Rei's hair. He wondered what had happened to the boys hair, but he figured if Rei wanted him to know, he would have told him. "Hm?"
Sitting up on a lean, he looks down at the Russian. "Really.... and I want you to know that when I tell you this if you want to leave me, you can."
Kai laughs to his self, reaching up moving a bit of the boys bangs. "I would never. Rei.... if you ever have anything to say to me, you just do it. I won't judge you."
"Even if I told you that I wanna be with you, that I'm sorry that I took so long deciding to love you even though I have for a long time?"
"Most of all." Sitting up, he wraps his arms around him. "I want you to be happy because you're free. Free from this secret that's been controlling your life- we all have them, but yours seems to be killing you, Rei. And I don't want that because it would kill me to not have you around. Same goes for a lot of people."
Rei knew that, he really did. But this was major, being retarded for life- special attention because of it. How could Kai be with someone who was gonna talk funny and act weird without even knowing they were doing it. How many good days would he have, how many days would he have to feel normal? Two, ten..... Maybe a couple seconds out of a day? It seemed to be a bit of a burden, like all the love in the world couldn't put up with that- that's why everyone leaves him. His brother left, his parents, his uncle banished him. Who does he have? Tyson may still be mad, Ozuma would follow his lead. He shot Tala a dirty look so he may be on the ropes with all of them, but then there's Kai. He looks at him. He could talk to him so easily, so why not tell him.
The older male smiled. "You're thinking awefully hard. Ready to tell me what's going on up there?"
"....I'll just jump right in, I guess." Looking him in the eyes, he swallows hard. "I've been struggling with Schizophrenia since I was seven years old. I was diagnosed with it when I hit ten. No one knew what was wrong with me up until then and I've had a rough childhood because of it." He felt the tears coming on at just the thought of it all as he spoke about the kids in the village, school, Lee leaving him.
"Everyone thought I was doing it for attentions sake, especially when I told them I wanted Lee to walk me to school so I'd feel safe." He laughed quietly. "Can you believe I was so messed up I honestly started to believe those sick bastards when they said I was in love with my brother.... I would hold his hand like it were just for me, hang out with him like he belonged only to me...... But then... I guess he got sick of it because he left me."
Kai didn't know what to say, if he were supposed to say something at all. He knew Rei just wanted his undivided attention so that's what he would get. He listened as the boy explained to him about a man that's been stalking him, or at least that's what he thought but it turned out that this person was just a mirror image that was bouncing off the building across the street.
"Those jerks in the city had fun with that, saying that poor little mountain boy gets so confused when he sees all the lights and things. Boo hoo."
'Assholes.' Thinks the Russian.
Rei shook his head sadly. "I gave the villagers a bad name, how could people not know about it when you've got cops bringing you to and from school?" A pout mared his lips as he began to cry. "I hated all that attention, I was just a shy little kid. I never wanted any of that to happen but it did. When I hit ten my parents took me to therapy, it cost so much money that all they talked about was how they were gonna pay for it. Lee never knew about any of it. He did so much for me with finding out about Crack that I didn't wanna give him more to worry about."
Kai could understand that. He would be the same way towards anyone he admired that much; never be a problem for them because you love them too much to worry them any further.
"So there I was. Ten years old and on medication...... Lee left when I stopped having nightmares, I stopped seeing that guy." He figits for a bit, picking at the blanket. "He wrote me every week and I did the same. Nothing was right when he left home, no kids came by and when they did I thought that they only wanted to make fun of me again." Overcome with the memories he began to cry. Kai held him, stroking his back, his own tears falling on his moving hands. How could anyone be ok with a childhood like that. It sounded like Hell. The only trouble he's ever had was deciding if he should pick out his own clothes instead of, Ari mina, his dresser.
Composing his self, he clung to Kai even tighter than he was before. He could feel the boys heart racing in his chest. He was so worked up about all of this, he was almost tempted to tell him that he didn't have to go on. but it really was good for you not to keep things bottled up. Placing a kiss to the top of the boys head, he felt him nod to say he was ready to go on.
"So, a little time passed and things were normal. I felt kind of.... drained because of the pills but mostly they were working. So good, right. When my parents felt I was well enough, I went to visit my uncle from time to time so I could see Lee. I hated it. Lee had a new life, new friends and none of it made sense to me. I kept thinking that, maybe I was just a stupid mountain kid afraid of everything, so why bother trying to fit in. But Lee was the same. He loved me, looked after me and tried to introduce me to all his friends. They thought, 'boy you're a pretty little boy!' Even when I didn't know I was gay I was labeled." His tears began again, he shook his head. "When I came home, he was there. I told my parents and they said that I must be lapsing or something and I should take my medication. I did and it didn't work, he was still there."
Kai wiped the boys face with his palm to get rid of the tears that were only replaced by more.
"I hate being alone. I'm always so afraid. That's why I never told because if I did people would leave me. Everyone leaves me."
"I won't leave you." Kai whispered.
Rei cried again, for a while, but Kai held him tightly. He pets the boy, gives him comforting hushes and kisses until he was ready to speak again.
"Kai... I'm not gonna get any better. I can have sessions, most people with this are outpatients. But.... I read up on it and even though a lot of people live comfortable lives with this, a lot of people.... they become so freaked out that they harm themselves" There was a huge weight that hung in the air with those words. "Sometimes they harm other people....." his sobs started again. "I just didn't wanna be abandoned, I hate being alone."
It was all starting to make sense to Kai now. Rei told him that the reason he's even with his brother is because his parents died. He never said how they died, or.... "Rei... you mean?"
The boy began to sob almost violently. It made Kai cry too. No kid should have to.... "Oh Rei, I'm so sorry."
"Crack talked to me.... I ignored him for the most part but... Sometimes he knew how to push my buttons and I was so confused. I didn't tell my mom and dad because they would just tell me to pop a pill but.... I think they were making it worse. They were so weak that I needed a refill but we couldn't afford it and uncle Stans money wasn't an option because we didn't take hand outs. Kon's work for what they have....." He was silent a moment, when he spoke his voice was dead and flat.
"The window in my room was open, I didn't open it. but when I looked down there he was, laughing, talking, telling me that he heard my parents say that they were gonna send me to a home to be looked after. I'd be away from everyone I know, around people who were gonna stare at me and pity me." He sniffles. "He told me I could stop them..... I didn't wanna listen so I screamed. I ran out into the woods and I guess I made so much noise that they woke up and followed me. I heard him calling my name- it was always mental, his voice, never physical to my ears. But this time there were two other voices" he wipes his nose and sniffles. "I was so... bugged out of my mind that I didn't put one and two together I just-... really wanted to get rid of Crack so, I lured him to the cliffs."
Kai had the image in his head. A scared boy running through the woods, his parents terrified for him because of his illness and he was sure they got the crash course of what it was all about but it didn't mean their death was Rei's fault. He had to know that. "Rei. you didn't kill your parents." He was shocked at how thick and dry his voice had become from his tears. Even more surprised when the boy shook his head, stubborn to believe. "Rei, it was dark, you didn't know what you were doing- they couldn't see either."
"Only the kids knew those parts of the woods.... I knew them so well, I could run it in my sleep- I thought I was asleep..... then I hid beside a tree and waited for him to show up. He brought friends, they were all gonna hurt me..." The tears started again. "I just didn't wanna be alone." He sobs. "When they got to the cliff and looked down, I didn't see Crack, but I knew he would come out and I had to stop them so I wouldn't be out numbered. Rushing up to them they turned, my mother and father looked at me- so scared- I couldn't stop myself from doing it until it was too late."
Kai's silent tears fell harder now. Rei didn't want to be with people who knew about his problem, who, in his opinion planned to send him away. He shoved his parents off the cliff and he was reliving that pain every day.
"Crack jumped me, pinned me down. I screamed when he spoke to me." His eyes were wide as if he could see it all. "I could hear him... Crumble, crumble, crack, crack. He said this over and over until he screamed it in my face. I heard the cliffs falling, my parents cries.... the sickening cracking sound when they hit the bottom.... His face, looking down at me, so real I could almost touch him- I have never seen him before this. He wasn't just a man, he was broken... the blood, the dirt and rocks." Rei shook his head to remove the thoughts. "He's everywhere to me. He's been reminding me of what I did. His face.... his face is their face, together, the pain of the next day. I don't even know how I ended up in my bedroom but my neighbor came in with the cops.... they told me to look at them they forced me- said I had to identify them- as if I didn't know!"
Kai lay them down, arms still around the boy and they cried together. Rei repeating, that he killed them, his words breaking every now and then when he said that he was sorry. Kai wouldn't stand for this any longer. What happened wasn't Rei's fault! It was the medication, they all have side effects and if the things were getting weak they weren't working. The poor boy...
"Rei... I want you to listen to me. What happened to your parents is not your fault, you may think so, but it isn't.... You were a victim in that incident just as much as they were- none of you were ready to take on such a heavy challenge no matter how stronge your family is, this is something more." Rei seemed to be listening, sniffles coming out every now and then. "You were a kid, you were frightened of being alone and you felt your entire world crum-," deciding that was a bad choice of wording he changed it. "Falling down all around you." He looks at the boy. "My instincts would have told me to run as well.... I've never been alone in my life, so I can't imagine what it was like for you, but I know that- thinking about it now, I would have truly lost my mind."
"You would?"
"Not having Tala or Bryan or the others would have been horrible in my past, and now the thought of not having you scares me in the same way. I need every person I have now- it's a normal reaction to a tense situation..." His voice quited. "Some people concider themselves to be lone wolves but deep down they want that one person to latch on to, to let them know that they matter and Rei," he moved him up so they could look at each other. "You matter. No one would leave you, not ever. I don't know why Lee moved in with your uncle or why your parents couldn't take care of you right but think about it, think of how hard they tried in doing it."
Kai was right. They had tried hard, they only kept his condition secret because they knew how shy he was and uncomfortable with people making fun of him- if they would. His parents love him, and their voices, those were just hauntings of his messed up brain. Lee told him that he came to Japan for schooling but in the end he wanted to be back home with him. He has people who love him that aren't in his family too.
"I'm so stupid." He sobbed.
"You're normal." He hugged him back to his chest. "You're just- normal."
Rei wept until he had no tears to give. Everything felt so clear, so silent and still. Crack had vanished, he didn't even feel the image running around in his head. He could feel the door to the cage he'd been in opening. It wasn't his fault, he didn't get this disease because of any thing more than an accident. Any problems he caused because of it, were just that, the illness. He should have realized that long ago. But it was hard when you're alone in the darkness. But there was something keeping him back from being truly free.
"I have to tell Lee. He has a right to know." Kai nods. "I just hope he doesn't hate me for it... He was the golden child, they loved him so much."
"He thinks you're the golden child. And he loves you."
Rei nods to that, a yawn coming to his mouth. "Kai.... Aren't you scared?"
"Of what?"
"My loneliness.... What if I panic and think you're gonna leave me, what if I hurt you?"
"So hurt me, hurt everyone. We can take it."
Sighing, Rei closed his eyes. "Don't joke about it."
"I'm not. We can take care of you. We can help you through this and you'll be one of those people who can live with it- like you said."
"And you won't be embarrassed to be with someone who talks funny, honey bunny."
"Are you kidding? That could become the next thing, cling."
Rei laughed to that. "I love you."
"I love you too." He pets his hair. "Rei, what happened to your hair?"
"Uuuhhh, my uncle kind of went barbershop on me because he found out I was gay." He blushed. "Do you like it."
Looking it over, he nods his approval. "Yeah. It suits you."
They're silent a moment. Kai thought the other boy had fallen asleep but he could feel his index finger tracing his belly button. "I used to cry, at night, thinking that if people found out about my illness they would treat me like everyone treats the voices in my head- invisible. But, I see now that I was the one doing that to myself." He sighs. "I never like it when people tell others who to hate; but in the end, it's like I had another me telling me that I should keep people at arms length- have them leave me before they find out and go on their own..... Crack wasn't making it any easier."
"Is he here now?" He looked around the small room.
"No. It feels like he's really gone now. Maybe now that the truth is coming out and he has nothing to hold over my head, he split." Kai nods. "Will they still love me, Kai? Lee and Tyson and Ozuma and the others."
"I think they will. Just trust us."
With that Rei fell fast asleep and Kai followed shortly after. That night, Rei had one last dream, he told everyone about his secret, his lies and his illness and they hugged him. One by one, smiling telling him that they loved him. He even saw Max there! It would be nice to get to know the boy, from what he knew he really is a good guy. Everything was going so well until a dark cloud appeared, with it came Crack. He was huge! Eye ablaze, teeth bared and he grabbed him by the neck. Holding him over the cliff, he screamed at him.
"CRAAAACK!!!!!"
The image broke and Rei sat up, breathing heavily, frightened. Looking down, he sees Kai, still beside him, sleeping. Turning his head, he sees the blinds are open letting in a large amount of sunlight. He smiles. Today will be the end, the day he ends the nightmares and frees his self.
...........................
Lee knelt down touching his hand to the soft grass of his mothers resting place. Then came his fathers. Tears in his eyes, he then held his hand to his brothers. It had been three days in the hospital for the boy before they pronounced him dead. Kai had brought him in when he began to shake violently in his sleep during a seizure. His brother was taken away from him too soon. He was supposed to go first, but not Rei. Never Rei. The doctors told him that his brother had died of a blood disease brought on by the change of anti-depressents. Had he come in sooner they could have caught it but no one knew he was suffering inside......
Kai walked over to Lee, kneeling down with his hand on the boys shoulder for comfort. It was all he could give, he didn't know what else there was. Everyone had come to the funeral, here in China on the mountain.... it's where his brother would want to be the most. With his parents.... resting....... Tyson, Ozuma, Brooklyn, Zeo, Kane, Kenny, Mariam, Max, Tala, Bryan, Spencer and Ian anyone that Rei had touched showed up to wish him a good bye.
Lee had walked off, wanting to be alone with his pain. Kai didn't blame him, he was about to let the flood gates open as well.
"You must be Kai." Said Tyson, sitting down beside him.
Kai turned his vision to him, then back at his loves headstone. "You must be Tyson." He replies.
"I hate this.... Why Rei? He never.... He never got to know just how sorry I was for hurting him." Tyson lowered his head. "I hurt him so much.... I never meant to."
"He knew that. That night.... he told me how happy he was for you and Max." Kai looks at him. "How he never meant to make you feel bad, but it happened."
"Rei said that?" He looks away from him. "He was always positive even when things were bad. He seemed to wanna look on the bright side..... I'm sucha jerk."
Kai agreed with that, but he didn't say it. Now was not the time to. Turning, he instead wrapped the boy in a hug. Shocked, Tyson hugged back, tears in his eyes.
"Rei would have wanted this.... you and me... to be friends."
"Yeah, he would. I'm sorry for hating you- you know with out really knowing you first."
"Forget it." He lets him go. "Let's just make sure that when he looks down on us he can smile."
Brooklyn watched them from behind a tree. His eyes sad, but he has a smile on his face. Turning his head, he looks at the younger Kon and smiles a bit sad. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you Rei.... I never meant for this to happen, I just didn't want to scare you....."
"Never mind that." Rei says quietly. "I get to see everyone- all the time now, and my parents..... I'm happy Brooklyn. Really happy. Tell everyone not to cry because I'm not alone anymore." And with that he vanished.......
The sun smiled down on that day. In hopes to bring high spirits, but none as bright and happy than Rei's.
THE END