Beyblade Fan Fiction ❯ You Wouldn't Know Love ❯ I Wish I Were ( Chapter 2 )

Chapter~2:I Wish I Were...

 

“...I wish I were he for whom you can't sleep and gets you depserate

I wish I were your tears, those that come from your heart...”

“...Quisiera ser ese por quien te desvelas y te deseperas

Quisiera ser tu llanto, ese que viene de tus sentimientos...”

 

Notes: Beyblade DOESN'T belong to me, not that I want it... So, even if anyone wanted to sue, I wouldn't put much resistance (not as if I COULD actually PAY with money, but, hey...). Leilani is mine. The main title, if you didn't pay attention in the first chapter, isn't mine, it's Michael Bolton's. “Quisiera ser”, the original name of this chapter, is Rake's and, even though I translated it to suit the meaning I wanted, where it says “heart”, it really means feelings or emotions, I just think it looks better translated heart... Anyhow, on with the fic...

 

`Why do things have to be so complicated between us now that we're together?' thought Leilani in silence as she walked down the streets bathed in darkness. `I mean, its not that I mind that he forgot our anniversary, what truly troubles me is the thought that he might not actually feel anything... He DOES sometimes tell me that he cares, but it's only when I nag him for days and, maybe, he only says that for me to stop... Maybe all he feels are those stupid, masculine impulses to be with a girl and, since I'm the only idiot that puts up with him, he just lets them free with me. He had better not even dare to try... I won't let him...' She walked, musing silently, her eyebrows narrowing dangerously at the concept of his, possible, hidden intentions. `Or, maybe, he doesn't even feel that. Maybe he DOES care about our friendship and, to avoid breaking it by letting me down, he just lets me linger around him...'

The night was getting chilly and she hadn't taken any coat, so she was getting cold shivers up her spine. She hugged herself intent on keeping warm. She wasn't ready to go back to the hotel room and to face Kai. She was still unsure over what she was going to do. Hidden intentions or not, she was devoted to him and knew that she needed him more than anything or anyone else. He had always been her support in every situation. And, aside of the fact that she beheld him as her boyfriend, much more than that, she saw him as her best friend. Like it or not, without him, she couldn't subside, and in her strong appearance, he was her spine.

And she knew that, far beyond his expressions towards it, Kai felt the same way for her. But, she didn't just want the feeling to end there. She wanted him always. She wanted him to notice that they were soul mates meant to be together. But, he didn't notice. Or maybe didn't care to at all.

“Damn abbey,” she muttered angrily under her breath.

 

“Speaking alone, Leilani?” asked a voice she knew very well. She paused in mid-walk to face the speaker.

She looked ahead of where she was standing and saw a young man that had black hair that was sticking-up all over the place, pulled out of his face with a red headband that had a Ying-yang. The longer portion of his hair was pulled back into a sort of white sheath with only the ends coming out of it. The young man had tan skin and amber eyes that were fixed with poignant precision on Leilani's sea green ones. He was sitting on the first step of a closed restaurant's entrance. And he smiled at her genuinely.

“Just reflecting a bit. Sometimes it's better when one talks alone... you can get rid of all your restrained tension without hurting anyone,” she said, excusing herself for pondering out loud.

“Is there something wrong?” his expression changed to a concerned one, as did his voice.

`He's so sweet and open with his emotions... Why didn't I fall in love with him instead of my self-reserved dimwit of a boyfriend?' she thought and shook her head nonchalantly, dismissing the idea. `Because you simply can't resist that “self-reserved dimwit”,' a little voice in her mind told her. She smiled, despite herself and said, “no, nothing. I guess I just needed some fresh air and peace to reflect on stuff.”

“Want to come and `reflect' a bit with someone?” he offered, scooting over on his seat and patting the spot next to him for her to sit as well.

She smiled again and sighed, “okay, Ray, thanks.”

She sat quickly next to him and shuddered when she felt how cold the concrete was through her light clothes.

“What are you doing here so late?” she asked him, since she hadn't seen him all day.

“I don't know if Kai ever told you, but I have an uncle that had a restaurant in Paris. Anyhow, he now moved here, so I spent the day working here...” he said while pointing behind him towards the closed doors. “...And I offered to close the restaurant for him. So, here I am. I just finished closing the place.”

“Oh. That's why you cook so well,” she said while grinning at him in sudden realization.

He blushed a bit at her comment and responded, “I don't know if I cook “well”, but I did learn how to cook thanks to my family in general, my uncle just lets me take care of his cooking sometimes.”

She giggled at the color his face turned when she had complimented him and said, “at least you cook better than me.”

“That's not a huge achievement,” he replied, giving her a mischievous grin of his own.

“Thanks a lot,” she said in a mock-offended tone, unable to cover the smile on her lips and to hide the embarrassing laugh-attack that surged over her as a sudden flashback of her once intent on Tanuki-soba came into her head.

She sighed inwardly after calming down, `it feels so nice to laugh. Why don't I have these moments more often?' Her face got harsh at the thought and she stared at her hands, which were clenching into fists over her legs. `Because your boyfriend is as cheerful as the grim-reaper, that's why,' an annoying voice told her in her head.

 

The other boy noticed what the problem was as soon as his eyes caught a glance of hers.

“Trouble with Kai again?” he asked, turning as grim as she was at the memory of his not-so-sociable friend. He was already used to their occasional discussions. Even though the couple got along rather well, they'd have an argument every now and then, generally due to Kai's lack of expression and Leilani's excess of it.

She nodded, trying to hide her eyes from Ray, so he couldn't see the moisture forming in them.

“Do you want to talk about it? You know, to loosen up?” he offered

She sighed. She didn't know if she should, but she needed so badly to tell someone how lame she felt so she decided to accept his offer after a few seconds of thought.

“I...I guess that the problem is that I'm simply frustrated,” she said, trying to not fall to tears in front of Ray. The fabric of her teal skirt bunched up into her tightening fists. She was desperately trying to restrain herself.

“Why?” he asked, giving her a troubled look. He moved closer to her, ever so slightly, and inhaled a whiff of her scent, smiling inwardly at how nice it was.

She shrugged and said in defeat, “I don't know what Kai feels... ever. And, I... I've got to know if he feels anything at all. Do you understand?” she asked, tears welling in her eyes as she stared at Ray, which seemed to be listening to her persistently.

He nodded to her in true comprehension. But, deep inside, he wanted her to stop talking about Kai... to stop caring for him. And Ray got angrier with himself when he began to think about how nice it would be if Leilani and Kai couldn't sort things out and, then, he frowned even more than he already was. After all, even though he and Kai weren't what one could define as `close', they were friends, nonetheless and Kai found Ray as the one boy of the team he could respect and consider as an equal. Ray should never be fancying his friend's girlfriend. It was wrong and Kai had never done anything to directly hurt the boy, so he really shouldn't be wanting to hurt or dishonor the blunette's esteem either.

 

When he had met Leilani, about a year and a half before, he had found her fascinating. True daintiness in a girl that was beyond those silly fashion-obsessed, self-centered girls that weren't even near as pretty as she was. He had noticed that, even if she had more life than Max, she had wonderful taste for clothes, was very modest and caring and was poised exceeding even Ray himself.

He hadn't felt the affection that he was feeling towards her now. He surly had noticed her as an enchanting friend, but that was it. However, sadly for him, his feelings towards her had been evolving during the past few months and he was afraid that what he felt could jeopardize his friendship with Kai or her.

But, he couldn't control it. The sentiment was too strong and with every aching minute that passed, it grew deeper. His lure towards her was insufferable, every time he saw her with Kai, he internally craved it was himself who was holding her. Actually, that she was holding on to him. She had the habit of clinging to Kai's arm wherever they went and Ray envied the older blue-haired teen for that.

Yet, he knew whenever he looked into Leilani's eyes, that the love she'd commonly profess to Kai was realer and deeper than she claimed it to be and Ray knew that he couldn't compete with Kai, ever.

After many lonesome and sorrowful afternoons swamping himself in his thoughts, Ray had figured it best that he never even said a word and hoped that neither Leilani nor Kai would ever notice what he felt.

 

“Maybe I'm over-dramatic, but, he makes me think that I'm feeling for both of us in this relationship. Do I sound stupid?”

Reality checked in.

Ray stopped nodding and began to shake his head, bonking himself on the head internally for savoring the moment in which Leilani said `both of us'. `Idiot! She doesn't mean US, she means she and Kai!' a little voice said in his mind.

“I don't want him to change. I like him all somber and all, but I want him to show me that he DOES care, just so this nagging voice inside my head stops telling me that I'm in love with a living zombie. He's a wonderful person, although he doesn't ever show it. He's all I've got and I love him more than anyone else. He's my best friend and I don't want to imagine what I'd do without him,” she said finally giving in to the tears.

“Sorry for this... I didn't mean to break down,” she said, covering her face with her hands and trying to dry the tears.

“You can leave if you feel awkward,” she uttered after seeing that she couldn't stop crying.

Instead, she felt warm arms embrace her and pull her into a soothing hug. Ray rubbed her back, trying to comfort her and held her tight.

Leilani's eyes grew wide when he hugged her. She supposed that he was just trying to make her feel better. To relieve her as a friend would, and, so, she buried her face into the fabric of his shirt and kept on crying.

He on the other hand, couldn't believe what he had done. He had felt that he was the one that needed to be comforted after hearing Leilani say that she loved Kai more than anyone else. But, when he saw how sorrowful she seemed to be, he felt the urge to make her see that she wasn't alone, that he'd be there when she felt sad.

But, at the moment, he cursed himself for letting his emotions dominate him, since this could only hurt him more and, probably, destroy his friendship with Kai, since he was taking liberties with his friend's girlfriend now that she was weak.

 

`Where can she possibly be?' Kai asked himself, angry that he couldn't find Leilani anywhere. He had been searching for her for more than an hour, but Rome IS big. And Leilani could be anywhere. Each street he had walked down seemed to root into four more, all leading in a different direction.

He stomped his way down the more silent streets; the ones that seemed less crowded and illuminated. And, if he knew Leilani well (which he did), she'd probably chosen a dark and quiet street to think at.

`Leilani... Please wait for me to talk to you before you make your decision...' he pleaded to her through his mind. `I can't let you go... ever.'

 

“Thank you for being so sweet,” Leilani murmured politely to Ray as she gently rejected him.

She had been crying for a long while and finally felt better.

“There's no problem. I wonder if I'm allowed to hug my friend's girlfriend...” Ray said in a sarcastic tone, trying to make Leilani smile, even if he seriously wondered what Kai would say if he found out. `He'll surly slaughter me for touching his precious Leilani...' he thought, truly concerned about his own well being under Kai's enraged grasp.

“Considering your friend's temper, I'd say it's highly un-recommended,” she said, almost giggling while she dried her tears with her scarf. She rubbed the soft fabric lightly over her cheeks. That scarf had once been Kai's. Until the day he kissed her for the first time. She still remembered it as if it had been just the day before this.

 

All of the former Blade-Breakers had been invited to an island and found that it was just an evil scheme against them. And, during a battle Leilani had volunteered to participate of, she had fallen down a cliff and into the ocean that surrounded the island. She spent an entire day lost, and when she finally reunited with Kai, he had been so relieved to find her that he had hugged her tight. With the pass of a few seconds, Leilani fainted when she felt his hot lips on hers.

She had been a wrecked state. She was soaked, and tired. And she had several bruises, a broken arm from the fall and a growing fever. Kai, completely out of character, had given her his scarf - his most precious and only belonging from his childhood - to keep her throat and chest covered from the drafty airs that could make her ill.

She kept it and treated it as her greatest treasure...

 

“Maybe you're right...” Ray said, giving her a concerned smile. “But he's not all that bad... He just hides himself from everyone else behind his cold personality,” he kept on telling Leilani. Even if what he felt for her hurt him because he knew that he couldn't compete with his close friend, Ray tried to convince her to give Kai another chance. Accept it or not, Ray knew that Leilani wouldn't be Leilani if she weren't with the somber teenager, and he wanted her to be happy even if it was at his own cost.

“I know he's not bad. Behind that emotionless mask, he's most likely the best person in the world. No offense. I just say that it takes a lot of time and patience to break the mask and twelve years don't seem to have caused much effect on it,” she said.

“They have caused much more effect than you think. He does love you, he just doesn't want anyone to see that you're his vulnerability,” Ray said, his words slowly eating his soul.

“Ray...” Leilani said, noticing an odd expression of pain in his eyes.

“We should get going back home. It's really late. Are you ready to return?” he asked, changing the subject completely.

“Yeah. You have no clue just how much help you've been. Thank you so, so much,” she answered while nodding.

“No sweat,” he answered, smiling kindly at her. She seemed so pretty under the pale moonlight. It seemed to reflect in her eyes and her features appeared to be more delicate and white, giving the impression that her skin was of porcelain.

She slowly stood up and began to walk next to him, wondering silently over how she'd ask Kai for forgiveness because of her over-dramatic act...

 

A.N.: Second chapter is over and I want comments (even though my fic is posted already finished, I'm gonna ask for comments in every chapter). My 17-year-old ego is still fragile, so don't hurt it PLEASE! Sorry for the OOC Ray, but, as I did with Leilani, I had to twist them to fit the characters I had in mind. Sorry for making him so broody, but I think that's how he must be when he isn't being all nice and stuff... Anyhow, opinions are welcomed at Sapphyre3@hotmail.com.