Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction ❯ Abstinence Education ❯ Part Forty-Five [1/2] ( Chapter 45 )
[ Y - Young Adult: Not suitable for readers under 16 ]
By: Madame Manga 
A barrier walls out some dangers, but keeps others within...
Anime/Manga: Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Samurai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.16.2008 | Updated On: 08.16.2008 | Pages: 7 | Words: 9.0K | Visits: 712 | Status: Completed
A barrier walls out some dangers, but keeps others within...
Anime/Manga: Blade Of The Immortal Fan Fiction | Genre(s): Hentai / Drama / Samurai | Type: Continuation | Uploaded On: 08.16.2008 | Updated On: 08.16.2008 | Pages: 7 | Words: 9.0K | Visits: 712 | Status: Completed
The first half of a long chapter. Thank you, rukia, for all those photos and temple guidebooks! And for the second half, amberguesa is doing her best to get me acquainted with monkish martial arts staff technique. :)
A barrier walls some dangers out, but keeps others within...
The characters and universe of Blade of the Immortal/Mugen no Junin are copyright by Hiroaki Samura and do not belong to me. Not one sen will come into my hands in consequence of this story.
Warnings for sex in various forms, including quasi-incestuous themes and a sixteen-year-old female paired with an adult male. Violence and dismemberment are legally required in any BotI fic... along with the occasional shellfish-toxin poisoning.
The Hasu-ji is fictional, but based on actual temples of the period; at the time, Shinto was not kept separate from Buddhism, and the two often mingled within a single precinct.
Abstinence Education
by Madame Manga
Part Forty-Five (1/2)
“The future of this country lies in its commerce, not in warfare!” Yoritawa was getting excited; his raised voice woke Rin from her nap. “We’ve withdrawn from the world too long. We don’t need the damn samurai any more... the country’s been at peace for two hundred years. What we have to offer is our skill and our manufactures. Japanese craftsmanship --”
“Craftsmen? Craftsmen won’t keep invaders off our soil. Unless you mean weapons makers.” There was a ripple of laughter among the men on the other side of the folding screens. Rin rubbed her eyes and blinked at the afternoon sunlight that invaded her half-private little bedroom space through an opened sliding door. “Swords and spears, that’s what barbarians understand!”
“I won’t deny that. But where do we get silver to buy the iron for weapons, unless it’s by trade? A few red-hairs at Nagasaki, a few Chinese wholesalers --not enough! Letting in more foreign merchants --”
Rin groaned silently and pulled the quilt up over her ears. That didn’t muffle the conversation by much; even for earnest Yoritawa-san, this sounded like a passionate topic. She felt sweaty under the covers, though she wore her light underthings. Rin fanned her face with the quilt and pushed it down to her waist. Awake, restless --she might as well get up. O-Chiyo-san would probably scold her, but if she managed to dress by herself before getting caught, she might be allowed to stay out of bed for a while.
“More uncouth gaijin! Kirishitan subversives! Priests are only advance scouts for colonization!”
“Priests, ai-yaa! No, I mean the ships that come from the east. So many advancements in navigation! The spermaceti-whalers --”
“Stealing from our fisheries! They’re common thieves!”
Whalers? Rin thought of Mado, the foreign Itto-ryu, and his contemptuous talk about Japanese ways. She got up on one elbow, not putting too much weight on her sore arm, then sat upright. The room tilted and lurched, and she swayed but didn’t lie down again.
“We can’t claim waters out of sight from our shores and have any hope of making it stick. Japan has no ocean-going ships for trade... and so it has no navy and no strength on the seas. Fishing boats? Pshaw.”
“Well...”
Rin’s red furisode hung crisply clean on a clothes rack beside the lit lantern. Her obi lay over it folded in quarters, all the corners matching exactly. O-Chiyo’s tidy arrangements looked almost too perfect to disturb, but Rin shifted herself off the futon and tugged at the hem of her robe. It slipped from the polished rack and draped over her head, smelling of the incense used to purify the sickroom. Slowly she put it on and lifted her loose hair from the collar.
“If there were a few ports in Japan where they could put in for water and provisions, then the bakufu could keep an eye on those foreign fishermen! Tax them --levy a share of their oil! As it is, they take with them every copper of their profits, and if we don’t open those ports on our terms, just wait and see --they’ll be opened for us instead.”
“What?”
Rin rose to her knees to arrange the overlap of her robe and tie her under-belt. She’d have to stand up in order to adjust the hem, and she still felt dizzy. For a moment she leaned forward on one hand and took deep breaths in preparation. Her right arm was bandaged from wrist to elbow, and when the dressings had been changed, she’d noticed a long cut made with a sharp blade and stitched together again. Apparently the arrow nick had festered and been lanced; the stitches still felt sore. Carefully she got up by degrees and gripped the clothes rack for balance.
“Japan needs ships, both to protect our interests and to help us reach out again. Think of it! To visit China, the ancient holy places... to see the cities of the nanban lands with your own eyes...”
“Pssh! What do gaijin have that any Nihonjin of breeding could want? Filthy, uncouth --”
“Books! Knowledge! Mathematics, medicine, natural philosophy --the latest weapons designs, if you like. Guns --”
Ugh... guns. Rin smoothed her clothes and stared down at them. But the unwrinkled silk bore no trace of Manji’s bloody sacrifice, not even the shadow of a stain. She wondered where her yojimbo was now. She didn’t see her shoulder bag either, so she finger-combed her hair --O-Chiyo had washed that for her too --and coiled it into a loose bun that she secured with a tied scarf.
“What was good enough for our grandfathers --”
“The world has changed, numskull. The bakufu won’t admit it, the samurai guard their decrepit privileges like demons of bureaucracy, but they’re parasites on the true riches of Japan. This is the land of the rising sun. The abode of the gods, yes? We can stand with any country in the world, and should. Such lost opportunities!”
”Anata,” said O-Chiyo in a loud whisper.
“Ah... what is it, wife? I’ve got a discussion going on here.” Another ripple of friendly laughter; the other men seemed to think it more like a schoolroom lecture.
“Excuse me for mentioning our little invalid, dear. She was sleeping --”
Hastily Rin tied her obi bow and turned it to the back, then opened the outside door a little wider. The rush of fresh air and the blue sky dazzled her for a moment; she clutched the door post, then let it go and stepped over the threshold. Freedom...
“Oops... we’ll take it into the courtyard. Order some tea, yes?”
“Of course, dear. If you please, good sirs...” There was a rustle of rising and moving. Rin walked slowly away down the garden veranda, shielding her eyes from the light and looking for a pair of sandals she could borrow. A too-big pair of geta sat by a stone step, and she slipped them on and descended into the cool green garden.
Rin didn’t know the exact layout of this temple, though it was a large and famous establishment that could house scores of pilgrims at a time. Most visitors had to sleep in the open dormitories, but Yoritawa rated a partioned room in the better lodgings. A generous donor to the temple, she guessed, and from his talk, he had other connections here as well.
Ancient cedars and cypresses loomed over the roofs of the lodging buildings, their lofty summits rising with the slope of the hill. Higher up Rin glimpsed more curving tiled roofs and the mid-day sun striking the gilded fittings of a pagoda. Probably the main temple buildings crowned the unseen crest of the ridge, with many smaller structures and groves set along the various paths and stairs. Rin didn’t mean to escape, exactly --she didn’t think she’d be able to walk very far anyway --but after being handled and nursed for days, too weak to do anything for herself, she thirsted for a few minutes entirely alone. There had to be plenty of quiet, secluded spots among the great trees for peaceful meditation.
In a sunny part of the garden beside a group of young maples in full fall glory, a hunched figure in gray robes and a white head-scarf sat on a cushion, nodding and muttering. An elderly nun with a string of prayer beads twined through her gnarled fingers. She turned her head as Rin approached, but looked straight past her with filmed eyes --she was blind.
“Who’s there?” she asked in a surprisingly strong voice. “Meal-time already?”
“Oh, err... excuse me, holy mother.” Rin automatically bowed from the waist. “I’m just a visitor. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“Ahh, a visitor... “ The nun nodded in several directions, her thin nostrils twitching as if she scented the air. “You’re young, quite slender from your light step, and I’d guess you’ve a pretty face... but there’s illness in your voice, little daughter.”
“Yes, holy mother. I’ve been sick. How did you know?”
The old nun smiled with toothless gums as if she’d made a joke. “Oh, I already heard there was a sick girl here... or was that someone else? Maybe there was another sick girl. Didn’t you die, little daughter? They asked me to pray for your soul.”
“Err... no, I’m all right. I wanted to take a walk outside, that was all.” It seemed silly to ask a blind person what might be an interesting route through the grounds. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”
“No, no, little daughter, don’t go yet.” The nun patted the ground by her seat. “I like your sweet young voice --come give me your hand.” Rin came closer, knelt down and took the offered clasp. The nun’s knotted joints and blue veins seemed to push through her translucent skin, her bones nearly defleshed by age. She put her other hand over Rin’s while she still held her prayer beads; the string of yellowed ivory wrapped over her swollen knuckles. “Warm... hmm. Then you’re not long gone from this world.”
It also seemed silly to argue with someone whose mind seemed almost as unfocused as her eyes, so Rin said nothing. The nun squeezed her hand, the beads pressing into Rin’s skin like the gnarled joints. “Poor, foolish little flower, faded so soon. I pity you... but in your place, I entered the Buddha’s service rather than marry. You should have chosen better, hmm?”
“Uh... well, I still have a lot of choices to make, holy mother. I don’t know what they’re going to be yet.”
“Honor your parents and ancestors, honor the Buddha Amida, and cherish the longings of the heart even if they can’t be fulfilled in this life. To throw away life so young...” The nun shook her head, her blank eyes staring straight into Rin’s. “I’m old, and I’d give anything to have my youth again. Though it’s not as if you could have given yours to me, little daughter.” She laughed and laid one hand on Rin’s head. “Bless you on your journey. May your next life bring you more joy than this one.”
“Th-thank you, holy mother...” This was getting a little creepy, to put it mildly. “But I’m not dead. I was only sick for a while.”
“Life’s a sickness. For the old, death comes as a blessing.” The old nun nodded, stroked Rin’s hair and went back to her muttering. Rin murmured an excuse and got up to continue her walk before someone came to find her.
She wondered again where Manji was. No matter what she asked about him, O-Chiyo only hushed and fussed and held lukewarm cups of weak kelp broth to her lips. She’d barely seen Yoritawa himself, since he scrupulously declined to look into a woman’s sickroom and instead spoke to her from outside the screens. But his warm voice was familiar now, kind and querulous at the same time, and she felt great and embarrassed gratitude towards both him and his watchful wife.
Not much memory of her illness remained with her, and fragments of recollection seemed hopelessly mixed with dark hallucinations. Paralysis and confusion, not even sure who she was or what had happened. It had been awful, that Rin definitely remembered. She thought she had been very sick indeed, even dying. O-Chiyo tried to dismiss the idea that she’d ever been in any real danger, but for Manji to have abandoned her...
Rin’s throat tightened. She’d woken yesterday in that dim room, feverish and crying for him, and an unknown man answered her calls instead. A terse young voice, but not Manji’s; he was a doctor. More skilled than kind, he’d dosed her with a foul medicine and impatiently rolled his eyes when she choked at its disgusting taste, like moldy grain. But she felt much better today, even if no medicine could clear up a painful mystery.
She couldn’t put the circumstances together --they didn’t add up. From the minimal account she’d been given, her yojimbo had met the couple on the road, remembered their concern for his charge and asked them please to take care of her while he went to... to do something? It wasn’t at all clear what Manji had to do, though Yoritawa had passed on his parting message with careful attention to the wording. What was she supposed to know without having been told? She thought that Manji had threatened Yoritawa again, though the details escaped her, and that he hadn’t given her up without a struggle of some kind. No, he hadn’t just discarded her --she never would have believed that even if it were true. But if he didn’t intend to return for her, that certainly meant she ought to leave this place to look for him as soon as she could manage. All by herself --but she’d traveled alone before.
Staring at her feet, Rin rounded a curve in the garden path and nearly collided with a short crimson-robed monk. He sprang from stone to stone, glancing back over his shoulder as if he feared pursuit. When he saw Rin he yelped in a high voice, then tried to dodge past her with a covered basket tucked in the crook of his arm.
The stepping stones stood well above the ground here, and he stubbed his bare toes and howled in pain. Rin stumbled on her borrowed geta and sat down hard by the path, tripping up the monk. The basket flew into a shrub; the monk took a couple of hops and sprawled face first in the wet sedge grass. She saw he was very young, not even a teenager.
“Oh! Are you all right?”
“Oh, crap.” The little monk grabbed his foot and rolled over, his scalp gleaming with sweat under his transparent fuzz of razor-stubbled hair. “Don’t rat me out!”
“Er... why would I rat you out?”
“Well --” He glanced sideways at the fallen basket, flexed his bruised toes and nervously wiped his hands on his grubby robes. “I’ll give you a share if you don’t tell, okay? There’s lots!”
“Lots of what?” Rin struggled to her feet and brushed damp leaves from her clothes.
“I lifted some good stuff from the guests’ kitchen.” He got up to retrieve the basket, raised the lid and showed her a heap of steamed wheat-flour buns. “I’m fast as lightning --the cooks never even saw my shadow!”
Rin touched her lips and tried to look stern. “But monks aren’t supposed to steal. Don’t they try to be virtuous and follow the right path?”
“Yeah, that’s gonna happen in MY lifetime!” He snickered and winked. “Say, I know a great place to nosh in private. C’mon?”
A smile threatened at the corners of Rin’s mouth. Not alone after all? “Yeah... why not?”
“How old are you, Toto?”
“Eleven.” The young monk spoke through bulging cheeks. “How about you?”
“Sixteen.”
“Oh, man, that’s really old! Five years. I can’t wait until I’m sixteen.” He licked his fingers and belched.
“Why is that?”
“Because then I can decide for myself if I want to stay in this crud-hole.” He gestured at the beautiful vista of green bamboo and mossy stones that spread down the hill from their seat on an ornamental rock. “I’m so freaking sick of it here!”
“Really? Why?”
“Rules. Bells before sunrise... boring sutras... getting my head shaved... eating the junk they give me, which is like, nothing! I’m a growing boy.” He jammed another bun in his mouth. “Rrhr rrhayz uunn-ryy.”
“Always hungry? Gee, I can identify with that.”
“Have another bun!”
“Don’t mind if I do...”
“I like you, Rin. You remind me of my big sister... you got any sisters?”
“No, no sisters.”
“Brothers, then! Little brothers you fuss over and give lots of treats, right?” He giggled happily. “I thought you looked like that kinda girl. Got any candy on you?”
Rin suppressed a chuckle with a bite of steamed bun. “No, sorry. No little brothers.”
“A big brother. I’ve got three --you can have ‘em.” He nodded sagely. “You gotta have a big brother.”
Rin’s face went a little cold; she looked down and let the rest of her bun drop to her lap.
“Huh? What’s the matter?” Rin burst into tears. “Hey! What’d I say? Sheesh, girls blubber so much...”
“No... no, it’s all right... it’s just that m-my...” She hiccupped and sniffled to a stop, then wiped her eyes on the back of her bandaged wrist. “Sorry, I guess I’m not really well yet.”
“You were sick? When your dad brought you here?”
“Er...” Trying to explain that Yoritawa-san wasn’t family would only provoke sensitive questions, and Rin felt ashamed of her tears. “Yes, I was sick from some poison. I don’t remember a lot about the last couple of days.”
“Eww, poison!” He stuck out his tongue. “Did you swallow it?”
“What?”
“There was a girl just here who was poisoned, I heard. But I thought they said she took it on purpose.” The little monk narrowed his eyes at her. “Did you take it on purpose?”
“Um, no. It was on a --a blade that cut me.” Rin clasped her bandaged arm. “It was an accident.”
“Okay, good. I didn’t think you looked like a girl who’d kill herself over a boy. That’s just weird.”
“Over a boy?”
“They said her dad and mom wanted her to marry somebody she didn’t like and she wanted to marry somebody she did like. Or something like that. So she swallowed some poison. Girls are dumb. Some of ‘em, anyway.”
Rin drew a shocked breath; that must be the girl the blind old nun had rambled about. Maybe it wasn’t such an odd mistake after all. “Did she die?”
“I dunno. Master Saicho said he didn’t think she was going to live. He’s been wrong about stuff before, though.” He stuck out his tongue again and peered at her. “So what is it with your big brother? You afraid he’s dead or something?”
“No... he’s probably okay.” Rin managed a small smile. “I just don’t know... when I might see him again.”
“Aw, you’re a nice sister --I bet he wants to come back and visit real soon.” Toto patted her arm. “With lots of presents for you ‘cause you’ve been sick, huh?”
“Well...” She had to stop and swallow hard a couple of times. “I... he might not be able to come at all.”
“Your big brother’s gotta be a grownup man, if you’re so old. So he can do what he wants, right? Why couldn’t he come see you?”
Her lips quivered. “He... he might be arrested if he did.”
“Huh?”
Rin closed her eyes for a moment. “I know you won’t rat me out... so... you’ve seen those posters, I’m sure.”
“Wanted posters?” Toto gestured over his shoulder. “Like, that ugly guy with all the scars --?”
“...With one eye and black and white clothes and a big reward for his capture. That’s him.”
The little monk’s eyes grew huge and his face twisted in consternation. “The hundred-man murderer? That’s your big brother? No way.”
“It’s true. Well, not that he’s my brother by blood, because I’m an only child. He’s my yojimbo.”
“Wow.” He blinked at her a few times. “That... is so... totally COOL.”
“It is?”
“Whoo-ooh! Did you ever see him kill anybody? Like... for real? With a sword?”
“Uh...”
“That would be so great! A sword duel with blood and stuff!” The little monk leaped up and began to pose and strike like a martial artist. “I wish this was one of those monasteries where they drill you in secret weapon techniques! But nooo... it’s all peaceful and nobody can even eat sashimi because the fishes got little fishy souls or something. That bites!”
“There’s something to be said for shunning violence...”
“Like what? Hiii-YAAH!” He leaped in the air with a high kick, landed one-footed on a mossy patch of ground and fell on his bottom. “Oww!”
“Oh, Toto!”
“I’m good!” He bounced up, red-faced, and rubbed his rear. “That was practicing my moves. My sensei’s gonna want to see if I’m keeping up.”
“Someone taught you that? I thought you said this was a non-violent monastery.”
“Joben-sensei’s a monk, yeah, but he doesn’t live here. He visits a lot, though --he’s a messenger who takes letters between temples and tells us all the news. He’s totally tough! He wiped out three bandits at once with nothing but his staff!” Toto whistled through his teeth and took two-handed strikes with an imaginary pole-arm. “Pow! Wham! Boom!”
“Wow, he sounds pretty skilled.”
“He’s here now. He’s staying a few days in between trips. Hey, let’s go find him. He’s really cool --I’ll introduce you!”
“Uh... well, a grownup monk might not want to talk to a girl. Not like you.”
“Why not? He likes girls as much as anybody. You think monks give a hoot about that stuff any more?” The young monk laughed. “You oughta live here a few weeks. You’d learn the facts of life quick!”
“Eh heh heh...”
“Toto, ya little criminal! Answer me!”
“Rin-chan, dear? Are you there?”
“Oops, we’re buuusted...” Toto’s eyes popped wide and he scooped up the almost-empty basket of buns. “I’m outta here --fast as lightning!” Rin tossed him the half-bun she was holding. He jammed it in his mouth, flashed her a doughy grin and scrambled off uphill under cover of the shrubs.
“Rin-chan?” O-Chiyo appeared on the path below Rin, peering in all directions but the correct one. Her round face looked flushed and anxious under her neatly waxed hairdo. An old manservant accompanied her, scowling.
“The abbot don’t like getting bothered with yer crap all the time, and I don’t neither!” The old man shouted up the hill through cupped hands. “I know why yer dad got rid of you, brat. Yer gonna end up branded on the cheek --or hangin’ from a cross!”
“Oh, dear! What could she be doing with that dreadful boy? Do you think she’s all right?”
“Yeah, yeah, ma’am. Dammit, ain’t like she’s been kidnapped, though that pup swipes anything that ain’t nailed down. There you go.” He pointed at Rin as she came slowly down to the path, casually flicking crumbs from the creases of her obi. “Ain’t you kind of big to be playin’ hide-and-go-seek? Where’s the sneaky little shit got off to?” Rin smiled and shook her head. “Ahh, you let him know he’s in for a few days of K.P. and punishment chant. Were it up to me, it’d be a split cane.” He stomped back down the path, grumbling.
“Why did you go so far, dear? And not tell me --I didn’t know what to think when the doctor came and our little invalid was nowhere to be seen.” O-Chiyo steered their steps downhill towards the guest lodgings and put the back of her hand lightly to Rin’s forehead. “Well, no fever... so come have your meal. The cook just delivered a lovely spread! You’re strong enough now to sit up to eat, I suppose, but after that it’s back to bed, young lady.” She opened the latticed gate in the wall that enclosed the garden, ushered Rin through and firmly shut it again.
“Sorry,” Rin mumbled.
“Oh, I know I’m a worrier --nothing could happen to you here other than wearing yourself out climbing stairs!” O-Chiyo laughed and linked her arm in Rin’s as they walked down the veranda towards Yoritawa’s room. She was a good handspan taller than Rin, not even counting the sweeping heights of her hair, and her hips and bosom were wide and well-padded. “Aren’t the grounds beautiful? I don’t think there are any cryptomerias in Edo larger and finer than these, even at the Zojo-ji, and, oh, the yellow chrysanthemums this year! Like little golden suns, with their bright faces turned up to the heavens! I’ll show you the flower gardens when you feel up to it --I always make it a special point to visit.”
“Yeah, uh, it’s nice.” Rin sat on the cushion that O-Chiyo indicated and looked at the dishes on her table as her hostess filled each one. All vegetarian and simply prepared, of course, but it looked filling, and she felt hungry despite the snack she’d shared with Toto. “Thank you... excuse me, should I start?” She gestured at her hashi.
“Wait just a moment --danna wants to eat with us today! I sent the cook to tell him things were ready.”
“And I’m ready to fill my empty stomach after a hard morning’s meditation.” Yoritawa’s footsteps approached along the inside corridor. “Ahh, what’s that delicious smell? Could it be glazed kabocha?”
“Welcome home, husband.” O-Chiyo knelt and greeted him with a bow as he entered through the open door. Rin did the same, though she didn’t dip her head quite as low as a wife would. ”Anata, thank you so much for coming! I’m sure you would have preferred to take your meal with the abbot today and hear his wisdom, and I apologize. We’re ignorant women and our conversation will bore you... but it’s so pleasant that we can all sit together.”
“Not at all, not at all... the abbot will forgive me this once.” Yoritawa nodded and smiled at Rin as he sat down in the place of honor. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better. Not so dizzy now?”
“Yes, thank you, Yoritawa-san.” Rin bowed again. “I’m grateful for your kind attention. I’ve been a great trouble to you...”
“Pish, it’s nothing, let’s not be so formal! Mmm, that looks awfully tasty...” He took up his hashi without ceremony and started on a dish of braised tofu. Rin followed suit, but O-Chiyo made tea, served it and fussed over her husband’s comforts for several minutes before sitting down to her own meal. “Well, Rin-chan.”
Caught off guard with her mouth full of stewed squash, Rin swallowed and delicately dabbed her lips before replying. “Yoritawa-san?”
He tilted his head at her. “I can tell you’re recovering just as the doctor claims --it’s good to see some color back in your face. Money well spent! But you’re not quite in full health yet, I don’t think --you’ve lost some weight, eh?”
“Maybe...” Rin self-consciously touched her cheek and looked at her soup bowl. “I couldn’t eat very much until today, I guess.”
“Ah, of course not. We’ll fatten you up on the good food here --and then...” Yoritawa took a quick glance at his wife, who dropped her gaze and half-smiled. “Well, the future’s of no matter until we reach it. I like this weather --it’s pleasant to be out of doors, eh?”
“Yes, I had to go looking for her at meal time.” O-Chiyo raised her brows. “She’d walked all the way to the kitsune shrine.”
“Goodness, you are feeling better. Not tired yourself out, I hope?”
“Oh, no.” Rin even felt as if the walk had given her energy, though whether it was the exercise or just talking to someone like Toto she wasn’t sure. “Actually, I feel pretty good.”
“Excellent, excellent!” Yoritawa and O-Chiyo exchanged glances again. “Now eat up while it’s still hot --that’ll keep the roses in your cheeks.”
After the meal had been finished, the rice eaten and the dishes and tables cleared, the three of them remained in their seats chatting. They talked mostly of O-Chiyo’s plans for their stay, her not-entire satisfaction with the nursemaid who tended their children at home, and her concern for the lower end of her garden, which apparently didn’t drain well in the rainy seasons and provided too many mud puddles for little girls to dirty their clothes. But anything that sounded like a complaint was softened with her good-natured smiles; Rin had the impression that O-Chiyo was an indulgent mother.
“I’m making my girls sound like wild creatures, I think --but they’re sweet children, and I know they’d learn a great deal from your example about how a young lady ought to conduct herself...” She trailed off and blushed when Rin looked at her with a question.
“Excuse me? Do you mean you’d like me to come and visit you for a while?”
O-Chiyo looked at her husband with trepidation. “In a manner of speaking... well, dear, you’ll put it better than I can.”
He lifted a brow at her, a little amused. “I thought you said to leave it up to you.”
“I did, but... dear, it was really your idea!”
He laughed. “Oh, now it’s all my fault! Ahh, women...”
Rin politely cleared her throat. “Were you going to ask me something, Yoritawa-san?”
“Well... yes.” He patted his palms together. “Is this a good time, do you think?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because I’m going to ask you to make a few choices... which might not be easy ones. If you’re feeling quite well...”
“I am, really. Please go ahead.”
“All right, I will. I have given this some consideration, as will probably be clear. I’ve also consulted my wife on some delicate points concerning a young lady’s sensibilities.” Yoritawa leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him, obviously weighing his words. Rin waited in silence. “When I first met you, Rin-chan, you might remember that I offered to put you up for as long as you needed.”
“Yes, I remember --but of course it’s not necessary to --”
“No, I intend to honor that promise, especially now that I know you better. It would be my great pleasure, in point of fact.”
“Thank you very much, but I’m fine. If you’re meaning to go to any trouble on my account... please don’t.” Something about their gazes, both diffident and candid, disturbed her. “I’m grateful that you’d even think of my comfort, but there’s no need --”
Yoritawa looked patient and undisturbed, as if he’d expected reluctance. “Where do you intend to go when you leave the temple, Rin-chan? And with whom?”
“Err...”
“Your situation wasn’t what I believed it was at first... but it was never an ideal way for you to live. You must admit that. “
She bit her lips and worked her fingers together.
“A young woman of respectable birth living like a vagabond and attempting to avenge a murder? It’s impossible, unthinkable. Even with the help of your --ahem, Manji-san.”
“Uh --forgive me, but it wasn’t impossible. We did succeed...”
“In killing people? Is that a goal to which anyone should dedicate his life?” Yoritawa’s voice began to rise. O-Chiyo coughed delicately and raised her brows at the floor in front of her. “Ah... I beg your pardon... it’s just that --well.” He shut his mouth. Everyone remained silent for a few moments; the atmosphere had changed from friendly to awkward and charged. Rin’s heart beat faster.
O-Chiyo broke the silence. “Perhaps... you believe you must honor your father and mother this way. But would they truly approve, do you think?” Rin drew in a quick breath and looked at her; O-Chiyo pulled a slight grimace. “Even for your parents’ sake... try to see it through their eyes. They’d never condone the risks you’ve run.”
“Maybe not, but...”
“And your reputation isn’t something to take as lightly as you have been. Womankind’s fairest flower --”
“You too? Virginity --it’s always that!” Rin realized her rudeness, but a surge of irritation upset her delicate equilibrium. “What’s the great big stupid DEAL? Everybody always telling women they can’t do what men do --”
“Of course women can’t do the same as men. Women bear children, Rin-chan. That won’t ever change.” O-Chiyo leaned closer, her expression surprisingly intense; Rin’s outburst might have cracked open a lid on her own emotions. “Telling you to guard your virtue is meant to protect you... and to protect other girls, too.”
“What?”
“If men had it all their own way, no girl would be safe from ravishment, and no wife either. It’s women who must guard each other!” She put her hand on the mat before her; Rin was startled to see her knuckles show white in a fist. “I saw you --a proud girl who knew she was no one’s toy --with that terrible man, and I saw his lust...” O-Chiyo pulled a tight sob through her teeth and anger trembled in her gentle voice. Appalled, Rin said nothing; Yoritawa’s passion almost paled next to his wife’s. “You put him off, and I realized he hadn’t yet had his way with you, but was pressing you hard. You could still be saved... if we didn’t hesitate.”
“It’s true,” said Yoritawa abstractedly. “My wife pointed you out. I’d seen him, but I hadn’t quite put two and two together... and me a mathematics teacher. Men don’t think of these things.”
“Manji isn’t like that! He wouldn’t ever --” He’d shoved her against a tree and pulled her clothes off. Anger and possessiveness, and his own pleasure --what he’d always wanted from her. A knee to the groin...
“If you can still believe that... I suppose I have to be glad.” Yoritawa sighed. O-Chiyo sat silent, her cheeks pink; she seemed relieved that her husband had taken over the conversation again. “In any case, the situation has changed. I’ve heard some news.”
A catch in her breath. “News of Manji-san? He’s not --he hasn’t been --”
“Not arrested yet, no. But on the morning of the day he turned you over to us, he brutally slew two village sentries. Or so it’s said.”
“What?”
Yoritawa closed his eyes and spoke a little reluctantly. “They challenged the killer of a hundred, recognizing him from the notices. He shouted obscenities and attacked them without mercy, then fled on horseback when more guards approached. Unfortunately, his victims were beyond help.” He looked revolted, almost nauseated. “I know it’s not just a rumor. Even hours afterwards, his clothes were bloodstained. I’d assumed the blood was his, or even yours.”
“Oh no... “ Manji had killed officers? She’d never seen him do such a thing --that had been far in his past, another man from the one she knew. Rin’s shoulders sagged and she looked into her lap.
“They carried spears and full quivers, and still they couldn’t ward him off. He must fight like a savage.”
“Quivers? You mean they used bows?” Rin glanced up.
“Apparently they had time to fire a few arrows, yes --”
“But... he would have been trying to bring me into that village, wouldn’t he? To find a doctor?”
“I suppose so.”
“I might remember something about this.” Rin put a hand to her forehead. “He was carrying me across the saddle in front of him, I think... he told them to look at my face if they didn’t believe I was sick. He begged them to let him take me through the gate.”
Yoritawa frowned. “Whatever you believe his motives were --”
“That they wouldn’t listen and shot at us instead? No wonder he got angry!”
“Even if they were mistaken, the sentries were doing their duty. What was he doing?”
“Um, defending me...?”
“The whole countryside is aroused against him. It’s only a matter of time before he’s taken.”
Rin looked down again. “He knows where to hide. They’ll never --” She broke off with a hand over her mouth.
O-Chiyo opened her lips and went pale. There was a short, awful pause, and then Yoritawa spoke with grim reproof. “I suppose that fellow must know every dark hole in the country, if he’s eluded capture this long. But you can’t mean you want more men to die in the attempt. Pray that he’s arrested soon, and then this dreadful business can be put to an end.”
“An end?”
“You don’t have a choice now, Rin-chan. That man can’t ever act as your bodyguard again.”
That couldn’t be true --this couldn’t be the end of her quest. Not even if Manji had really vanished from her life. Rin looked at the wall, where her shoulder bag and sheathed sword lay. She could carry on by herself if she had to. If she died in the attempt, at least she’d know she’d done everything possible. Even O-Hama had achieved that much... though she’d still failed to escape her prison of suffering. Thrown away every key to her locked mind and closed her eyes to all light, forever.
How had that woman gotten it so wrong? Trying to destroy the person responsible for your pain could destroy you too. It didn’t mean you’d find peace and healing. It meant feeding only hatred, giving injury for injury until the whole world bled. Rin knew that she wanted far greater satisfaction than Anotsu Kagehisa’s death. Apologies were an insult --she needed explanations, she needed to know that her parents had died for a reason that ultimately meant something. Life hurt and people did evil things; that might have been Manji’s cynical answer, tossed off with a shrug and a puff of pipe-smoke. But if that was all there was to know about murder and suffering and human sorrow, if nothing but darkness lay at the end of her road, she couldn’t bear it. The truth had to be more than the inevitability of death. It had to be...
Yoritawa watched Rin for several minutes in silence; his wife seemed upset, but kept her composure. He spoke at last in a quiet, reasonable tone.
“Asano Rin, your revenge... it can’t be achieved. I know you loved your parents, and that as a filial child you want to see their murderers punished. Anyone would feel that way. But that responsibility doesn’t lie with the victims of a crime. Heaven metes out justice in its own time, and by trusting in Heaven...”
“Err...” Rin bit a fingernail to keep back a sharper retort. For all his talk of precepts and philosophy, Yoritawa didn’t seem to get the idea at all. Sitting around patiently waiting for enlightenment and justice to be handed to you instead of seeking it out? “I wouldn’t have thought about it like that. Um, you know, you weren’t raised samurai. Not like...”
He interrupted her with a raised finger. “That’s something I also meant to talk to you about. I was speaking to another traveler here, one with some knowledge of the law.”
“The law?”
“As it pertains to the code for the bushi caste. He told me that a samurai family wiped out like yours was, with no male head remaining and an unmarried girl its only survivor... would in almost all cases automatically be struck from the rolls.”
“What?” She did feel a little dizzy now. “S-struck from the rolls?”
“I’m no authority, but I think he’s probably right. The Asano family’s lineage no longer legally exists. You don’t have obligations of samurai honor to uphold, because under the law you wouldn’t be considered samurai at all.”
“Not --samurai?” She stared at him with eyes wide. “You... you’re joking.”
“I couldn’t be so capricious, Rin-chan. I hope you realize that.”
She covered her face and slumped. O-Chiyo scrambled on her knees over the tatami and embraced her, pulling Rin’s head against her bosom. “Dear, perhaps that was a little...?”
“I’m sorry to put it so baldly. I don’t have much time to get this across, however --and dear girl, if you think it over, you’ll realize leaving the samurai caste behind could be a great blessing!”
“Oh... God...” Rin rocked back and forth, clenching her fists. “M-my father... my grandfather...” Then Anotsu Kagehisa had done far more to destroy the Asano family than she’d ever realized. He’d thrown even their name in the fire? She felt sick with fury.
“I’m putting you right back to bed.” O-Chiyo put an arm across her shoulders and tried to urge her along. “The rest of this is going to have to wait another day!”
“No, it can’t wait.” Yoritawa spoke unusually sharply. “This isn’t a girl who stays obediently indoors as she’s told. And that man --what if he shows up to claim her? We’ve got to tell her everything while she’s still here to be spoken to.”
“You said that horrible outlaw must be in the next han by now!”
“I pray he is, for everyone’s sake. But I don’t believe it for a moment. He, give up this woman? As long as he can hope at all, he won’t be able to rest until she’s back under his protection... and in his pillow.”
Rin flushed tingling hot and hid her eyes. O-Chiyo gasped. “Dear! Don’t speak as if that monster --!”
“You didn’t talk to him. You didn’t see his --” Yoritawa dropped his forehead into his hand and breathed hard for a moment. “I know, I’m probably crediting him far too much... but look at her. If he were a beast incapable of deep emotion, how could he inspire such attachment in so precious a pearl?”
Rin flushed even hotter; her limbs felt almost as weak as when Manji had cradled her in her illness. A circling, spinning dizziness centered in her belly and sprang outwards.
“She’s only a child --she doesn’t even know --” O-Chiyo cuddled Rin and began to weep.
“’The flame blown out, the wick remains’. She’s not one of our innocent little daughters, though I know you’d like to make her so.” Yoritawa gave Rin a sideways glance when she opened her eyes; she read something in his frown that chilled her. “This settles it. Either she marries immediately... or she’s lost.”
“Marry?” Rin jerked her head up, though O-Chiyo tried to restrain her. “Who --what?”
Yoritawa sighed. “I wish I could have brought you home with us first, Rin-chan. Established you in the comforts of a good household... let you be an elder sister to our children, if just for a little while. And only then broached the question of your future --” He took a heavy breath.
Rin stared at him without answering.
“Please, hear me out now.” Yoritawa carefully joined up the tips of his fingers and cleared his throat. “My father’s business partner wants to retire, and he’ll do so as soon as his eldest son marries and can take over the family headship. The boy is nearly twenty-one, perhaps a little young for the responsibility --but with the right wife, who has the initiative to support him, he’ll grow into it very well. The business brings in more than two hundred ryo a year, and the family’s mansion is better even than my father’s fine house, to tell the truth. The son is educated, respectable, healthy and of quiet habits. He doesn’t drink or even smoke a pipe...”
He glanced at Rin for reaction, but still she only stared. Yoritawa cleared his throat again and made a gesture at his wife. “I don’t think I’m putting this in terms a young woman appreciates.”
O-Chiyo stroked Rin’s hair. “Don’t you wish to marry, Rin-chan? To have children and a household of your own?”
Rin said nothing, though she trembled at a deep pulse in her womb. It was still early for her moonrise to arrive, so that probably wasn’t it...
“He’s such a pleasant young man, kind and attentive to his mother, not bad looking... and I know he’s eager to take a wife soon.” O-Chiyo spoke softly and reassuringly, rocking Rin in her arms. “My own daughters are too young to be married yet, or I’d gladly consent that he should have one of my precious girls. If I could give a good husband to dear Rin-chan instead, my happiness would be complete and all our trouble justified. Won’t you consider that?”
Children. To give life with her body, to nurse and cuddle and teach and scold... indulgently. To love from the depths of her belly. Tears sprang behind Rin’s closed lids. Give her parents grandchildren, maybe the only way to honor her vanished family now. She pressed her face against the smooth, stiff obi that wrapped O-Chiyo’s torso, smelling the dusty fragrance of cedar from the traveling box in which she kept her well-made clothes. Become an ordinary woman with a busy, prosperous household: samurai and kenshi only a passing cloud-shadow on her life.
Could the world be meant to change so much?
“Come home with us, Rin-chan. You’ll be safe there --we have high walls against burglars and servants to watch the gate. Just a visit?”
“I... b-but...” Rin swallowed hard in the effort to speak clearly. “Maybe... if I could find out first what’s happened to...”
O-Chiyo sighed in distress and Yoritawa interrupted. “That man doesn’t need your concern. I’d think he doesn’t even want it.”
“Not want me to...?”
“Put yourself in his place --which you’re better able to do than I am. If you seek him out, others will follow.” Yoritawa gritted his teeth. “Odds are you’ll only run straight into another hunter’s arrow... and this time, that man’s ‘vigilance’ may not save you.”
Rin sagged. He was probably right, though her instincts still rebelled against inaction. Sit and wait... for what? Manji wasn’t the only person whose fate she couldn’t ignore. If he meant to let her go, perhaps she could bear to live with only his memory. But to give up her pursuit of Anotsu Kagehisa felt like death’s ultimate triumph. If she let her reason for living slip away without an effort, she might not even survive its loss by long...
“Won’t you consent to meet the young man, at least? Give your tender inclinations a chance to work for your good.” O-Chiyo smiled at Rin and touched her cheek. “At the first glimpse he has of this sweet face, his affections will fall into your lap like a fruit ripe for the picking. A merchant knows the real worth of a capable woman --he’s not like a samurai who values nothing but his sword! Think of how contented you’ll make him... and of how much closer you’ll bring our families once you’re married.”
“An excellent match for everyone concerned.” Yoritawa nodded and tucked both hands into his sleeves. “An adopted daughter of my household... even if not entirely ideal... would be quite acceptable to his parents, I think. Especially with the dowry I plan to give with her. They’ll approve of her birth and good breeding even without considering her personal qualities. We don’t need to mention every detail of her history --”
“That I’m... lost?” Rin grimaced in disbelief and growing distress. Sold off and penned like a prize mare so she wouldn’t run away... or be stolen?
Yoritawa looked almost as stern as a father. “I believe --I hope --that man hasn’t yet violated your honor. Return to him now, and he will have you beyond any doubt whether he tries to restrain himself or not. ‘Once the blossom has fallen, it can never return to the branch.’”
She wrestled herself from O-Chiyo’s pleading embrace and fled.
Continued...
A barrier walls some dangers out, but keeps others within...
The characters and universe of Blade of the Immortal/Mugen no Junin are copyright by Hiroaki Samura and do not belong to me. Not one sen will come into my hands in consequence of this story.
Warnings for sex in various forms, including quasi-incestuous themes and a sixteen-year-old female paired with an adult male. Violence and dismemberment are legally required in any BotI fic... along with the occasional shellfish-toxin poisoning.
The Hasu-ji is fictional, but based on actual temples of the period; at the time, Shinto was not kept separate from Buddhism, and the two often mingled within a single precinct.
Abstinence Education
by Madame Manga
Part Forty-Five (1/2)
“The future of this country lies in its commerce, not in warfare!” Yoritawa was getting excited; his raised voice woke Rin from her nap. “We’ve withdrawn from the world too long. We don’t need the damn samurai any more... the country’s been at peace for two hundred years. What we have to offer is our skill and our manufactures. Japanese craftsmanship --”
“Craftsmen? Craftsmen won’t keep invaders off our soil. Unless you mean weapons makers.” There was a ripple of laughter among the men on the other side of the folding screens. Rin rubbed her eyes and blinked at the afternoon sunlight that invaded her half-private little bedroom space through an opened sliding door. “Swords and spears, that’s what barbarians understand!”
“I won’t deny that. But where do we get silver to buy the iron for weapons, unless it’s by trade? A few red-hairs at Nagasaki, a few Chinese wholesalers --not enough! Letting in more foreign merchants --”
Rin groaned silently and pulled the quilt up over her ears. That didn’t muffle the conversation by much; even for earnest Yoritawa-san, this sounded like a passionate topic. She felt sweaty under the covers, though she wore her light underthings. Rin fanned her face with the quilt and pushed it down to her waist. Awake, restless --she might as well get up. O-Chiyo-san would probably scold her, but if she managed to dress by herself before getting caught, she might be allowed to stay out of bed for a while.
“More uncouth gaijin! Kirishitan subversives! Priests are only advance scouts for colonization!”
“Priests, ai-yaa! No, I mean the ships that come from the east. So many advancements in navigation! The spermaceti-whalers --”
“Stealing from our fisheries! They’re common thieves!”
Whalers? Rin thought of Mado, the foreign Itto-ryu, and his contemptuous talk about Japanese ways. She got up on one elbow, not putting too much weight on her sore arm, then sat upright. The room tilted and lurched, and she swayed but didn’t lie down again.
“We can’t claim waters out of sight from our shores and have any hope of making it stick. Japan has no ocean-going ships for trade... and so it has no navy and no strength on the seas. Fishing boats? Pshaw.”
“Well...”
Rin’s red furisode hung crisply clean on a clothes rack beside the lit lantern. Her obi lay over it folded in quarters, all the corners matching exactly. O-Chiyo’s tidy arrangements looked almost too perfect to disturb, but Rin shifted herself off the futon and tugged at the hem of her robe. It slipped from the polished rack and draped over her head, smelling of the incense used to purify the sickroom. Slowly she put it on and lifted her loose hair from the collar.
“If there were a few ports in Japan where they could put in for water and provisions, then the bakufu could keep an eye on those foreign fishermen! Tax them --levy a share of their oil! As it is, they take with them every copper of their profits, and if we don’t open those ports on our terms, just wait and see --they’ll be opened for us instead.”
“What?”
Rin rose to her knees to arrange the overlap of her robe and tie her under-belt. She’d have to stand up in order to adjust the hem, and she still felt dizzy. For a moment she leaned forward on one hand and took deep breaths in preparation. Her right arm was bandaged from wrist to elbow, and when the dressings had been changed, she’d noticed a long cut made with a sharp blade and stitched together again. Apparently the arrow nick had festered and been lanced; the stitches still felt sore. Carefully she got up by degrees and gripped the clothes rack for balance.
“Japan needs ships, both to protect our interests and to help us reach out again. Think of it! To visit China, the ancient holy places... to see the cities of the nanban lands with your own eyes...”
“Pssh! What do gaijin have that any Nihonjin of breeding could want? Filthy, uncouth --”
“Books! Knowledge! Mathematics, medicine, natural philosophy --the latest weapons designs, if you like. Guns --”
Ugh... guns. Rin smoothed her clothes and stared down at them. But the unwrinkled silk bore no trace of Manji’s bloody sacrifice, not even the shadow of a stain. She wondered where her yojimbo was now. She didn’t see her shoulder bag either, so she finger-combed her hair --O-Chiyo had washed that for her too --and coiled it into a loose bun that she secured with a tied scarf.
“What was good enough for our grandfathers --”
“The world has changed, numskull. The bakufu won’t admit it, the samurai guard their decrepit privileges like demons of bureaucracy, but they’re parasites on the true riches of Japan. This is the land of the rising sun. The abode of the gods, yes? We can stand with any country in the world, and should. Such lost opportunities!”
”Anata,” said O-Chiyo in a loud whisper.
“Ah... what is it, wife? I’ve got a discussion going on here.” Another ripple of friendly laughter; the other men seemed to think it more like a schoolroom lecture.
“Excuse me for mentioning our little invalid, dear. She was sleeping --”
Hastily Rin tied her obi bow and turned it to the back, then opened the outside door a little wider. The rush of fresh air and the blue sky dazzled her for a moment; she clutched the door post, then let it go and stepped over the threshold. Freedom...
“Oops... we’ll take it into the courtyard. Order some tea, yes?”
“Of course, dear. If you please, good sirs...” There was a rustle of rising and moving. Rin walked slowly away down the garden veranda, shielding her eyes from the light and looking for a pair of sandals she could borrow. A too-big pair of geta sat by a stone step, and she slipped them on and descended into the cool green garden.
Rin didn’t know the exact layout of this temple, though it was a large and famous establishment that could house scores of pilgrims at a time. Most visitors had to sleep in the open dormitories, but Yoritawa rated a partioned room in the better lodgings. A generous donor to the temple, she guessed, and from his talk, he had other connections here as well.
Ancient cedars and cypresses loomed over the roofs of the lodging buildings, their lofty summits rising with the slope of the hill. Higher up Rin glimpsed more curving tiled roofs and the mid-day sun striking the gilded fittings of a pagoda. Probably the main temple buildings crowned the unseen crest of the ridge, with many smaller structures and groves set along the various paths and stairs. Rin didn’t mean to escape, exactly --she didn’t think she’d be able to walk very far anyway --but after being handled and nursed for days, too weak to do anything for herself, she thirsted for a few minutes entirely alone. There had to be plenty of quiet, secluded spots among the great trees for peaceful meditation.
In a sunny part of the garden beside a group of young maples in full fall glory, a hunched figure in gray robes and a white head-scarf sat on a cushion, nodding and muttering. An elderly nun with a string of prayer beads twined through her gnarled fingers. She turned her head as Rin approached, but looked straight past her with filmed eyes --she was blind.
“Who’s there?” she asked in a surprisingly strong voice. “Meal-time already?”
“Oh, err... excuse me, holy mother.” Rin automatically bowed from the waist. “I’m just a visitor. I didn’t mean to disturb you.”
“Ahh, a visitor... “ The nun nodded in several directions, her thin nostrils twitching as if she scented the air. “You’re young, quite slender from your light step, and I’d guess you’ve a pretty face... but there’s illness in your voice, little daughter.”
“Yes, holy mother. I’ve been sick. How did you know?”
The old nun smiled with toothless gums as if she’d made a joke. “Oh, I already heard there was a sick girl here... or was that someone else? Maybe there was another sick girl. Didn’t you die, little daughter? They asked me to pray for your soul.”
“Err... no, I’m all right. I wanted to take a walk outside, that was all.” It seemed silly to ask a blind person what might be an interesting route through the grounds. “I’m sorry, I’ll leave you alone.”
“No, no, little daughter, don’t go yet.” The nun patted the ground by her seat. “I like your sweet young voice --come give me your hand.” Rin came closer, knelt down and took the offered clasp. The nun’s knotted joints and blue veins seemed to push through her translucent skin, her bones nearly defleshed by age. She put her other hand over Rin’s while she still held her prayer beads; the string of yellowed ivory wrapped over her swollen knuckles. “Warm... hmm. Then you’re not long gone from this world.”
It also seemed silly to argue with someone whose mind seemed almost as unfocused as her eyes, so Rin said nothing. The nun squeezed her hand, the beads pressing into Rin’s skin like the gnarled joints. “Poor, foolish little flower, faded so soon. I pity you... but in your place, I entered the Buddha’s service rather than marry. You should have chosen better, hmm?”
“Uh... well, I still have a lot of choices to make, holy mother. I don’t know what they’re going to be yet.”
“Honor your parents and ancestors, honor the Buddha Amida, and cherish the longings of the heart even if they can’t be fulfilled in this life. To throw away life so young...” The nun shook her head, her blank eyes staring straight into Rin’s. “I’m old, and I’d give anything to have my youth again. Though it’s not as if you could have given yours to me, little daughter.” She laughed and laid one hand on Rin’s head. “Bless you on your journey. May your next life bring you more joy than this one.”
“Th-thank you, holy mother...” This was getting a little creepy, to put it mildly. “But I’m not dead. I was only sick for a while.”
“Life’s a sickness. For the old, death comes as a blessing.” The old nun nodded, stroked Rin’s hair and went back to her muttering. Rin murmured an excuse and got up to continue her walk before someone came to find her.
She wondered again where Manji was. No matter what she asked about him, O-Chiyo only hushed and fussed and held lukewarm cups of weak kelp broth to her lips. She’d barely seen Yoritawa himself, since he scrupulously declined to look into a woman’s sickroom and instead spoke to her from outside the screens. But his warm voice was familiar now, kind and querulous at the same time, and she felt great and embarrassed gratitude towards both him and his watchful wife.
Not much memory of her illness remained with her, and fragments of recollection seemed hopelessly mixed with dark hallucinations. Paralysis and confusion, not even sure who she was or what had happened. It had been awful, that Rin definitely remembered. She thought she had been very sick indeed, even dying. O-Chiyo tried to dismiss the idea that she’d ever been in any real danger, but for Manji to have abandoned her...
Rin’s throat tightened. She’d woken yesterday in that dim room, feverish and crying for him, and an unknown man answered her calls instead. A terse young voice, but not Manji’s; he was a doctor. More skilled than kind, he’d dosed her with a foul medicine and impatiently rolled his eyes when she choked at its disgusting taste, like moldy grain. But she felt much better today, even if no medicine could clear up a painful mystery.
She couldn’t put the circumstances together --they didn’t add up. From the minimal account she’d been given, her yojimbo had met the couple on the road, remembered their concern for his charge and asked them please to take care of her while he went to... to do something? It wasn’t at all clear what Manji had to do, though Yoritawa had passed on his parting message with careful attention to the wording. What was she supposed to know without having been told? She thought that Manji had threatened Yoritawa again, though the details escaped her, and that he hadn’t given her up without a struggle of some kind. No, he hadn’t just discarded her --she never would have believed that even if it were true. But if he didn’t intend to return for her, that certainly meant she ought to leave this place to look for him as soon as she could manage. All by herself --but she’d traveled alone before.
Staring at her feet, Rin rounded a curve in the garden path and nearly collided with a short crimson-robed monk. He sprang from stone to stone, glancing back over his shoulder as if he feared pursuit. When he saw Rin he yelped in a high voice, then tried to dodge past her with a covered basket tucked in the crook of his arm.
The stepping stones stood well above the ground here, and he stubbed his bare toes and howled in pain. Rin stumbled on her borrowed geta and sat down hard by the path, tripping up the monk. The basket flew into a shrub; the monk took a couple of hops and sprawled face first in the wet sedge grass. She saw he was very young, not even a teenager.
“Oh! Are you all right?”
“Oh, crap.” The little monk grabbed his foot and rolled over, his scalp gleaming with sweat under his transparent fuzz of razor-stubbled hair. “Don’t rat me out!”
“Er... why would I rat you out?”
“Well --” He glanced sideways at the fallen basket, flexed his bruised toes and nervously wiped his hands on his grubby robes. “I’ll give you a share if you don’t tell, okay? There’s lots!”
“Lots of what?” Rin struggled to her feet and brushed damp leaves from her clothes.
“I lifted some good stuff from the guests’ kitchen.” He got up to retrieve the basket, raised the lid and showed her a heap of steamed wheat-flour buns. “I’m fast as lightning --the cooks never even saw my shadow!”
Rin touched her lips and tried to look stern. “But monks aren’t supposed to steal. Don’t they try to be virtuous and follow the right path?”
“Yeah, that’s gonna happen in MY lifetime!” He snickered and winked. “Say, I know a great place to nosh in private. C’mon?”
A smile threatened at the corners of Rin’s mouth. Not alone after all? “Yeah... why not?”
“How old are you, Toto?”
“Eleven.” The young monk spoke through bulging cheeks. “How about you?”
“Sixteen.”
“Oh, man, that’s really old! Five years. I can’t wait until I’m sixteen.” He licked his fingers and belched.
“Why is that?”
“Because then I can decide for myself if I want to stay in this crud-hole.” He gestured at the beautiful vista of green bamboo and mossy stones that spread down the hill from their seat on an ornamental rock. “I’m so freaking sick of it here!”
“Really? Why?”
“Rules. Bells before sunrise... boring sutras... getting my head shaved... eating the junk they give me, which is like, nothing! I’m a growing boy.” He jammed another bun in his mouth. “Rrhr rrhayz uunn-ryy.”
“Always hungry? Gee, I can identify with that.”
“Have another bun!”
“Don’t mind if I do...”
“I like you, Rin. You remind me of my big sister... you got any sisters?”
“No, no sisters.”
“Brothers, then! Little brothers you fuss over and give lots of treats, right?” He giggled happily. “I thought you looked like that kinda girl. Got any candy on you?”
Rin suppressed a chuckle with a bite of steamed bun. “No, sorry. No little brothers.”
“A big brother. I’ve got three --you can have ‘em.” He nodded sagely. “You gotta have a big brother.”
Rin’s face went a little cold; she looked down and let the rest of her bun drop to her lap.
“Huh? What’s the matter?” Rin burst into tears. “Hey! What’d I say? Sheesh, girls blubber so much...”
“No... no, it’s all right... it’s just that m-my...” She hiccupped and sniffled to a stop, then wiped her eyes on the back of her bandaged wrist. “Sorry, I guess I’m not really well yet.”
“You were sick? When your dad brought you here?”
“Er...” Trying to explain that Yoritawa-san wasn’t family would only provoke sensitive questions, and Rin felt ashamed of her tears. “Yes, I was sick from some poison. I don’t remember a lot about the last couple of days.”
“Eww, poison!” He stuck out his tongue. “Did you swallow it?”
“What?”
“There was a girl just here who was poisoned, I heard. But I thought they said she took it on purpose.” The little monk narrowed his eyes at her. “Did you take it on purpose?”
“Um, no. It was on a --a blade that cut me.” Rin clasped her bandaged arm. “It was an accident.”
“Okay, good. I didn’t think you looked like a girl who’d kill herself over a boy. That’s just weird.”
“Over a boy?”
“They said her dad and mom wanted her to marry somebody she didn’t like and she wanted to marry somebody she did like. Or something like that. So she swallowed some poison. Girls are dumb. Some of ‘em, anyway.”
Rin drew a shocked breath; that must be the girl the blind old nun had rambled about. Maybe it wasn’t such an odd mistake after all. “Did she die?”
“I dunno. Master Saicho said he didn’t think she was going to live. He’s been wrong about stuff before, though.” He stuck out his tongue again and peered at her. “So what is it with your big brother? You afraid he’s dead or something?”
“No... he’s probably okay.” Rin managed a small smile. “I just don’t know... when I might see him again.”
“Aw, you’re a nice sister --I bet he wants to come back and visit real soon.” Toto patted her arm. “With lots of presents for you ‘cause you’ve been sick, huh?”
“Well...” She had to stop and swallow hard a couple of times. “I... he might not be able to come at all.”
“Your big brother’s gotta be a grownup man, if you’re so old. So he can do what he wants, right? Why couldn’t he come see you?”
Her lips quivered. “He... he might be arrested if he did.”
“Huh?”
Rin closed her eyes for a moment. “I know you won’t rat me out... so... you’ve seen those posters, I’m sure.”
“Wanted posters?” Toto gestured over his shoulder. “Like, that ugly guy with all the scars --?”
“...With one eye and black and white clothes and a big reward for his capture. That’s him.”
The little monk’s eyes grew huge and his face twisted in consternation. “The hundred-man murderer? That’s your big brother? No way.”
“It’s true. Well, not that he’s my brother by blood, because I’m an only child. He’s my yojimbo.”
“Wow.” He blinked at her a few times. “That... is so... totally COOL.”
“It is?”
“Whoo-ooh! Did you ever see him kill anybody? Like... for real? With a sword?”
“Uh...”
“That would be so great! A sword duel with blood and stuff!” The little monk leaped up and began to pose and strike like a martial artist. “I wish this was one of those monasteries where they drill you in secret weapon techniques! But nooo... it’s all peaceful and nobody can even eat sashimi because the fishes got little fishy souls or something. That bites!”
“There’s something to be said for shunning violence...”
“Like what? Hiii-YAAH!” He leaped in the air with a high kick, landed one-footed on a mossy patch of ground and fell on his bottom. “Oww!”
“Oh, Toto!”
“I’m good!” He bounced up, red-faced, and rubbed his rear. “That was practicing my moves. My sensei’s gonna want to see if I’m keeping up.”
“Someone taught you that? I thought you said this was a non-violent monastery.”
“Joben-sensei’s a monk, yeah, but he doesn’t live here. He visits a lot, though --he’s a messenger who takes letters between temples and tells us all the news. He’s totally tough! He wiped out three bandits at once with nothing but his staff!” Toto whistled through his teeth and took two-handed strikes with an imaginary pole-arm. “Pow! Wham! Boom!”
“Wow, he sounds pretty skilled.”
“He’s here now. He’s staying a few days in between trips. Hey, let’s go find him. He’s really cool --I’ll introduce you!”
“Uh... well, a grownup monk might not want to talk to a girl. Not like you.”
“Why not? He likes girls as much as anybody. You think monks give a hoot about that stuff any more?” The young monk laughed. “You oughta live here a few weeks. You’d learn the facts of life quick!”
“Eh heh heh...”
“Toto, ya little criminal! Answer me!”
“Rin-chan, dear? Are you there?”
“Oops, we’re buuusted...” Toto’s eyes popped wide and he scooped up the almost-empty basket of buns. “I’m outta here --fast as lightning!” Rin tossed him the half-bun she was holding. He jammed it in his mouth, flashed her a doughy grin and scrambled off uphill under cover of the shrubs.
“Rin-chan?” O-Chiyo appeared on the path below Rin, peering in all directions but the correct one. Her round face looked flushed and anxious under her neatly waxed hairdo. An old manservant accompanied her, scowling.
“The abbot don’t like getting bothered with yer crap all the time, and I don’t neither!” The old man shouted up the hill through cupped hands. “I know why yer dad got rid of you, brat. Yer gonna end up branded on the cheek --or hangin’ from a cross!”
“Oh, dear! What could she be doing with that dreadful boy? Do you think she’s all right?”
“Yeah, yeah, ma’am. Dammit, ain’t like she’s been kidnapped, though that pup swipes anything that ain’t nailed down. There you go.” He pointed at Rin as she came slowly down to the path, casually flicking crumbs from the creases of her obi. “Ain’t you kind of big to be playin’ hide-and-go-seek? Where’s the sneaky little shit got off to?” Rin smiled and shook her head. “Ahh, you let him know he’s in for a few days of K.P. and punishment chant. Were it up to me, it’d be a split cane.” He stomped back down the path, grumbling.
“Why did you go so far, dear? And not tell me --I didn’t know what to think when the doctor came and our little invalid was nowhere to be seen.” O-Chiyo steered their steps downhill towards the guest lodgings and put the back of her hand lightly to Rin’s forehead. “Well, no fever... so come have your meal. The cook just delivered a lovely spread! You’re strong enough now to sit up to eat, I suppose, but after that it’s back to bed, young lady.” She opened the latticed gate in the wall that enclosed the garden, ushered Rin through and firmly shut it again.
“Sorry,” Rin mumbled.
“Oh, I know I’m a worrier --nothing could happen to you here other than wearing yourself out climbing stairs!” O-Chiyo laughed and linked her arm in Rin’s as they walked down the veranda towards Yoritawa’s room. She was a good handspan taller than Rin, not even counting the sweeping heights of her hair, and her hips and bosom were wide and well-padded. “Aren’t the grounds beautiful? I don’t think there are any cryptomerias in Edo larger and finer than these, even at the Zojo-ji, and, oh, the yellow chrysanthemums this year! Like little golden suns, with their bright faces turned up to the heavens! I’ll show you the flower gardens when you feel up to it --I always make it a special point to visit.”
“Yeah, uh, it’s nice.” Rin sat on the cushion that O-Chiyo indicated and looked at the dishes on her table as her hostess filled each one. All vegetarian and simply prepared, of course, but it looked filling, and she felt hungry despite the snack she’d shared with Toto. “Thank you... excuse me, should I start?” She gestured at her hashi.
“Wait just a moment --danna wants to eat with us today! I sent the cook to tell him things were ready.”
“And I’m ready to fill my empty stomach after a hard morning’s meditation.” Yoritawa’s footsteps approached along the inside corridor. “Ahh, what’s that delicious smell? Could it be glazed kabocha?”
“Welcome home, husband.” O-Chiyo knelt and greeted him with a bow as he entered through the open door. Rin did the same, though she didn’t dip her head quite as low as a wife would. ”Anata, thank you so much for coming! I’m sure you would have preferred to take your meal with the abbot today and hear his wisdom, and I apologize. We’re ignorant women and our conversation will bore you... but it’s so pleasant that we can all sit together.”
“Not at all, not at all... the abbot will forgive me this once.” Yoritawa nodded and smiled at Rin as he sat down in the place of honor. “I’m glad to see you’re feeling better. Not so dizzy now?”
“Yes, thank you, Yoritawa-san.” Rin bowed again. “I’m grateful for your kind attention. I’ve been a great trouble to you...”
“Pish, it’s nothing, let’s not be so formal! Mmm, that looks awfully tasty...” He took up his hashi without ceremony and started on a dish of braised tofu. Rin followed suit, but O-Chiyo made tea, served it and fussed over her husband’s comforts for several minutes before sitting down to her own meal. “Well, Rin-chan.”
Caught off guard with her mouth full of stewed squash, Rin swallowed and delicately dabbed her lips before replying. “Yoritawa-san?”
He tilted his head at her. “I can tell you’re recovering just as the doctor claims --it’s good to see some color back in your face. Money well spent! But you’re not quite in full health yet, I don’t think --you’ve lost some weight, eh?”
“Maybe...” Rin self-consciously touched her cheek and looked at her soup bowl. “I couldn’t eat very much until today, I guess.”
“Ah, of course not. We’ll fatten you up on the good food here --and then...” Yoritawa took a quick glance at his wife, who dropped her gaze and half-smiled. “Well, the future’s of no matter until we reach it. I like this weather --it’s pleasant to be out of doors, eh?”
“Yes, I had to go looking for her at meal time.” O-Chiyo raised her brows. “She’d walked all the way to the kitsune shrine.”
“Goodness, you are feeling better. Not tired yourself out, I hope?”
“Oh, no.” Rin even felt as if the walk had given her energy, though whether it was the exercise or just talking to someone like Toto she wasn’t sure. “Actually, I feel pretty good.”
“Excellent, excellent!” Yoritawa and O-Chiyo exchanged glances again. “Now eat up while it’s still hot --that’ll keep the roses in your cheeks.”
After the meal had been finished, the rice eaten and the dishes and tables cleared, the three of them remained in their seats chatting. They talked mostly of O-Chiyo’s plans for their stay, her not-entire satisfaction with the nursemaid who tended their children at home, and her concern for the lower end of her garden, which apparently didn’t drain well in the rainy seasons and provided too many mud puddles for little girls to dirty their clothes. But anything that sounded like a complaint was softened with her good-natured smiles; Rin had the impression that O-Chiyo was an indulgent mother.
“I’m making my girls sound like wild creatures, I think --but they’re sweet children, and I know they’d learn a great deal from your example about how a young lady ought to conduct herself...” She trailed off and blushed when Rin looked at her with a question.
“Excuse me? Do you mean you’d like me to come and visit you for a while?”
O-Chiyo looked at her husband with trepidation. “In a manner of speaking... well, dear, you’ll put it better than I can.”
He lifted a brow at her, a little amused. “I thought you said to leave it up to you.”
“I did, but... dear, it was really your idea!”
He laughed. “Oh, now it’s all my fault! Ahh, women...”
Rin politely cleared her throat. “Were you going to ask me something, Yoritawa-san?”
“Well... yes.” He patted his palms together. “Is this a good time, do you think?”
“Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because I’m going to ask you to make a few choices... which might not be easy ones. If you’re feeling quite well...”
“I am, really. Please go ahead.”
“All right, I will. I have given this some consideration, as will probably be clear. I’ve also consulted my wife on some delicate points concerning a young lady’s sensibilities.” Yoritawa leaned forward and clasped his hands in front of him, obviously weighing his words. Rin waited in silence. “When I first met you, Rin-chan, you might remember that I offered to put you up for as long as you needed.”
“Yes, I remember --but of course it’s not necessary to --”
“No, I intend to honor that promise, especially now that I know you better. It would be my great pleasure, in point of fact.”
“Thank you very much, but I’m fine. If you’re meaning to go to any trouble on my account... please don’t.” Something about their gazes, both diffident and candid, disturbed her. “I’m grateful that you’d even think of my comfort, but there’s no need --”
Yoritawa looked patient and undisturbed, as if he’d expected reluctance. “Where do you intend to go when you leave the temple, Rin-chan? And with whom?”
“Err...”
“Your situation wasn’t what I believed it was at first... but it was never an ideal way for you to live. You must admit that. “
She bit her lips and worked her fingers together.
“A young woman of respectable birth living like a vagabond and attempting to avenge a murder? It’s impossible, unthinkable. Even with the help of your --ahem, Manji-san.”
“Uh --forgive me, but it wasn’t impossible. We did succeed...”
“In killing people? Is that a goal to which anyone should dedicate his life?” Yoritawa’s voice began to rise. O-Chiyo coughed delicately and raised her brows at the floor in front of her. “Ah... I beg your pardon... it’s just that --well.” He shut his mouth. Everyone remained silent for a few moments; the atmosphere had changed from friendly to awkward and charged. Rin’s heart beat faster.
O-Chiyo broke the silence. “Perhaps... you believe you must honor your father and mother this way. But would they truly approve, do you think?” Rin drew in a quick breath and looked at her; O-Chiyo pulled a slight grimace. “Even for your parents’ sake... try to see it through their eyes. They’d never condone the risks you’ve run.”
“Maybe not, but...”
“And your reputation isn’t something to take as lightly as you have been. Womankind’s fairest flower --”
“You too? Virginity --it’s always that!” Rin realized her rudeness, but a surge of irritation upset her delicate equilibrium. “What’s the great big stupid DEAL? Everybody always telling women they can’t do what men do --”
“Of course women can’t do the same as men. Women bear children, Rin-chan. That won’t ever change.” O-Chiyo leaned closer, her expression surprisingly intense; Rin’s outburst might have cracked open a lid on her own emotions. “Telling you to guard your virtue is meant to protect you... and to protect other girls, too.”
“What?”
“If men had it all their own way, no girl would be safe from ravishment, and no wife either. It’s women who must guard each other!” She put her hand on the mat before her; Rin was startled to see her knuckles show white in a fist. “I saw you --a proud girl who knew she was no one’s toy --with that terrible man, and I saw his lust...” O-Chiyo pulled a tight sob through her teeth and anger trembled in her gentle voice. Appalled, Rin said nothing; Yoritawa’s passion almost paled next to his wife’s. “You put him off, and I realized he hadn’t yet had his way with you, but was pressing you hard. You could still be saved... if we didn’t hesitate.”
“It’s true,” said Yoritawa abstractedly. “My wife pointed you out. I’d seen him, but I hadn’t quite put two and two together... and me a mathematics teacher. Men don’t think of these things.”
“Manji isn’t like that! He wouldn’t ever --” He’d shoved her against a tree and pulled her clothes off. Anger and possessiveness, and his own pleasure --what he’d always wanted from her. A knee to the groin...
“If you can still believe that... I suppose I have to be glad.” Yoritawa sighed. O-Chiyo sat silent, her cheeks pink; she seemed relieved that her husband had taken over the conversation again. “In any case, the situation has changed. I’ve heard some news.”
A catch in her breath. “News of Manji-san? He’s not --he hasn’t been --”
“Not arrested yet, no. But on the morning of the day he turned you over to us, he brutally slew two village sentries. Or so it’s said.”
“What?”
Yoritawa closed his eyes and spoke a little reluctantly. “They challenged the killer of a hundred, recognizing him from the notices. He shouted obscenities and attacked them without mercy, then fled on horseback when more guards approached. Unfortunately, his victims were beyond help.” He looked revolted, almost nauseated. “I know it’s not just a rumor. Even hours afterwards, his clothes were bloodstained. I’d assumed the blood was his, or even yours.”
“Oh no... “ Manji had killed officers? She’d never seen him do such a thing --that had been far in his past, another man from the one she knew. Rin’s shoulders sagged and she looked into her lap.
“They carried spears and full quivers, and still they couldn’t ward him off. He must fight like a savage.”
“Quivers? You mean they used bows?” Rin glanced up.
“Apparently they had time to fire a few arrows, yes --”
“But... he would have been trying to bring me into that village, wouldn’t he? To find a doctor?”
“I suppose so.”
“I might remember something about this.” Rin put a hand to her forehead. “He was carrying me across the saddle in front of him, I think... he told them to look at my face if they didn’t believe I was sick. He begged them to let him take me through the gate.”
Yoritawa frowned. “Whatever you believe his motives were --”
“That they wouldn’t listen and shot at us instead? No wonder he got angry!”
“Even if they were mistaken, the sentries were doing their duty. What was he doing?”
“Um, defending me...?”
“The whole countryside is aroused against him. It’s only a matter of time before he’s taken.”
Rin looked down again. “He knows where to hide. They’ll never --” She broke off with a hand over her mouth.
O-Chiyo opened her lips and went pale. There was a short, awful pause, and then Yoritawa spoke with grim reproof. “I suppose that fellow must know every dark hole in the country, if he’s eluded capture this long. But you can’t mean you want more men to die in the attempt. Pray that he’s arrested soon, and then this dreadful business can be put to an end.”
“An end?”
“You don’t have a choice now, Rin-chan. That man can’t ever act as your bodyguard again.”
That couldn’t be true --this couldn’t be the end of her quest. Not even if Manji had really vanished from her life. Rin looked at the wall, where her shoulder bag and sheathed sword lay. She could carry on by herself if she had to. If she died in the attempt, at least she’d know she’d done everything possible. Even O-Hama had achieved that much... though she’d still failed to escape her prison of suffering. Thrown away every key to her locked mind and closed her eyes to all light, forever.
How had that woman gotten it so wrong? Trying to destroy the person responsible for your pain could destroy you too. It didn’t mean you’d find peace and healing. It meant feeding only hatred, giving injury for injury until the whole world bled. Rin knew that she wanted far greater satisfaction than Anotsu Kagehisa’s death. Apologies were an insult --she needed explanations, she needed to know that her parents had died for a reason that ultimately meant something. Life hurt and people did evil things; that might have been Manji’s cynical answer, tossed off with a shrug and a puff of pipe-smoke. But if that was all there was to know about murder and suffering and human sorrow, if nothing but darkness lay at the end of her road, she couldn’t bear it. The truth had to be more than the inevitability of death. It had to be...
Yoritawa watched Rin for several minutes in silence; his wife seemed upset, but kept her composure. He spoke at last in a quiet, reasonable tone.
“Asano Rin, your revenge... it can’t be achieved. I know you loved your parents, and that as a filial child you want to see their murderers punished. Anyone would feel that way. But that responsibility doesn’t lie with the victims of a crime. Heaven metes out justice in its own time, and by trusting in Heaven...”
“Err...” Rin bit a fingernail to keep back a sharper retort. For all his talk of precepts and philosophy, Yoritawa didn’t seem to get the idea at all. Sitting around patiently waiting for enlightenment and justice to be handed to you instead of seeking it out? “I wouldn’t have thought about it like that. Um, you know, you weren’t raised samurai. Not like...”
He interrupted her with a raised finger. “That’s something I also meant to talk to you about. I was speaking to another traveler here, one with some knowledge of the law.”
“The law?”
“As it pertains to the code for the bushi caste. He told me that a samurai family wiped out like yours was, with no male head remaining and an unmarried girl its only survivor... would in almost all cases automatically be struck from the rolls.”
“What?” She did feel a little dizzy now. “S-struck from the rolls?”
“I’m no authority, but I think he’s probably right. The Asano family’s lineage no longer legally exists. You don’t have obligations of samurai honor to uphold, because under the law you wouldn’t be considered samurai at all.”
“Not --samurai?” She stared at him with eyes wide. “You... you’re joking.”
“I couldn’t be so capricious, Rin-chan. I hope you realize that.”
She covered her face and slumped. O-Chiyo scrambled on her knees over the tatami and embraced her, pulling Rin’s head against her bosom. “Dear, perhaps that was a little...?”
“I’m sorry to put it so baldly. I don’t have much time to get this across, however --and dear girl, if you think it over, you’ll realize leaving the samurai caste behind could be a great blessing!”
“Oh... God...” Rin rocked back and forth, clenching her fists. “M-my father... my grandfather...” Then Anotsu Kagehisa had done far more to destroy the Asano family than she’d ever realized. He’d thrown even their name in the fire? She felt sick with fury.
“I’m putting you right back to bed.” O-Chiyo put an arm across her shoulders and tried to urge her along. “The rest of this is going to have to wait another day!”
“No, it can’t wait.” Yoritawa spoke unusually sharply. “This isn’t a girl who stays obediently indoors as she’s told. And that man --what if he shows up to claim her? We’ve got to tell her everything while she’s still here to be spoken to.”
“You said that horrible outlaw must be in the next han by now!”
“I pray he is, for everyone’s sake. But I don’t believe it for a moment. He, give up this woman? As long as he can hope at all, he won’t be able to rest until she’s back under his protection... and in his pillow.”
Rin flushed tingling hot and hid her eyes. O-Chiyo gasped. “Dear! Don’t speak as if that monster --!”
“You didn’t talk to him. You didn’t see his --” Yoritawa dropped his forehead into his hand and breathed hard for a moment. “I know, I’m probably crediting him far too much... but look at her. If he were a beast incapable of deep emotion, how could he inspire such attachment in so precious a pearl?”
Rin flushed even hotter; her limbs felt almost as weak as when Manji had cradled her in her illness. A circling, spinning dizziness centered in her belly and sprang outwards.
“She’s only a child --she doesn’t even know --” O-Chiyo cuddled Rin and began to weep.
“’The flame blown out, the wick remains’. She’s not one of our innocent little daughters, though I know you’d like to make her so.” Yoritawa gave Rin a sideways glance when she opened her eyes; she read something in his frown that chilled her. “This settles it. Either she marries immediately... or she’s lost.”
“Marry?” Rin jerked her head up, though O-Chiyo tried to restrain her. “Who --what?”
Yoritawa sighed. “I wish I could have brought you home with us first, Rin-chan. Established you in the comforts of a good household... let you be an elder sister to our children, if just for a little while. And only then broached the question of your future --” He took a heavy breath.
Rin stared at him without answering.
“Please, hear me out now.” Yoritawa carefully joined up the tips of his fingers and cleared his throat. “My father’s business partner wants to retire, and he’ll do so as soon as his eldest son marries and can take over the family headship. The boy is nearly twenty-one, perhaps a little young for the responsibility --but with the right wife, who has the initiative to support him, he’ll grow into it very well. The business brings in more than two hundred ryo a year, and the family’s mansion is better even than my father’s fine house, to tell the truth. The son is educated, respectable, healthy and of quiet habits. He doesn’t drink or even smoke a pipe...”
He glanced at Rin for reaction, but still she only stared. Yoritawa cleared his throat again and made a gesture at his wife. “I don’t think I’m putting this in terms a young woman appreciates.”
O-Chiyo stroked Rin’s hair. “Don’t you wish to marry, Rin-chan? To have children and a household of your own?”
Rin said nothing, though she trembled at a deep pulse in her womb. It was still early for her moonrise to arrive, so that probably wasn’t it...
“He’s such a pleasant young man, kind and attentive to his mother, not bad looking... and I know he’s eager to take a wife soon.” O-Chiyo spoke softly and reassuringly, rocking Rin in her arms. “My own daughters are too young to be married yet, or I’d gladly consent that he should have one of my precious girls. If I could give a good husband to dear Rin-chan instead, my happiness would be complete and all our trouble justified. Won’t you consider that?”
Children. To give life with her body, to nurse and cuddle and teach and scold... indulgently. To love from the depths of her belly. Tears sprang behind Rin’s closed lids. Give her parents grandchildren, maybe the only way to honor her vanished family now. She pressed her face against the smooth, stiff obi that wrapped O-Chiyo’s torso, smelling the dusty fragrance of cedar from the traveling box in which she kept her well-made clothes. Become an ordinary woman with a busy, prosperous household: samurai and kenshi only a passing cloud-shadow on her life.
Could the world be meant to change so much?
“Come home with us, Rin-chan. You’ll be safe there --we have high walls against burglars and servants to watch the gate. Just a visit?”
“I... b-but...” Rin swallowed hard in the effort to speak clearly. “Maybe... if I could find out first what’s happened to...”
O-Chiyo sighed in distress and Yoritawa interrupted. “That man doesn’t need your concern. I’d think he doesn’t even want it.”
“Not want me to...?”
“Put yourself in his place --which you’re better able to do than I am. If you seek him out, others will follow.” Yoritawa gritted his teeth. “Odds are you’ll only run straight into another hunter’s arrow... and this time, that man’s ‘vigilance’ may not save you.”
Rin sagged. He was probably right, though her instincts still rebelled against inaction. Sit and wait... for what? Manji wasn’t the only person whose fate she couldn’t ignore. If he meant to let her go, perhaps she could bear to live with only his memory. But to give up her pursuit of Anotsu Kagehisa felt like death’s ultimate triumph. If she let her reason for living slip away without an effort, she might not even survive its loss by long...
“Won’t you consent to meet the young man, at least? Give your tender inclinations a chance to work for your good.” O-Chiyo smiled at Rin and touched her cheek. “At the first glimpse he has of this sweet face, his affections will fall into your lap like a fruit ripe for the picking. A merchant knows the real worth of a capable woman --he’s not like a samurai who values nothing but his sword! Think of how contented you’ll make him... and of how much closer you’ll bring our families once you’re married.”
“An excellent match for everyone concerned.” Yoritawa nodded and tucked both hands into his sleeves. “An adopted daughter of my household... even if not entirely ideal... would be quite acceptable to his parents, I think. Especially with the dowry I plan to give with her. They’ll approve of her birth and good breeding even without considering her personal qualities. We don’t need to mention every detail of her history --”
“That I’m... lost?” Rin grimaced in disbelief and growing distress. Sold off and penned like a prize mare so she wouldn’t run away... or be stolen?
Yoritawa looked almost as stern as a father. “I believe --I hope --that man hasn’t yet violated your honor. Return to him now, and he will have you beyond any doubt whether he tries to restrain himself or not. ‘Once the blossom has fallen, it can never return to the branch.’”
She wrestled herself from O-Chiyo’s pleading embrace and fled.
Continued...