Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Casual Friends ❯ Wanting it ( Chapter 2 )

Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach or any Bleach affiliates.

 

(A/N: Hey guys, this chapter was a long time in coming, wow, oh well it's here now. I hope everyone likes it. I also want to thank everyone for all their support on the “Experimental Emotions” Fanfic. Also a shout out to polaris_sakura, what you wrote about my future and Mrs. Rowling—well, to put it lightly, I just about hyperventilated. Thank you very much. :D

Enjoy the new chapter everyone!!! Don't forget to review!)

(P.S. I think I'll do an Experimental Emotions sequel. Maybe… :P )

 

Casual Friends

 

 

2.

 

Rukia

 

I didn't want to go to school the next day, so I didn't.

 

I was out the door before Ichigo was up and even though I did want to stand at his bedside and stare at him like some kind of stalker, I didn't. Okay… yeah, I did.

 

But he just looks so peaceful when he sleeps. I've heard that almost everyone does. I wondered if even murderers and rapists looked like angels in their sleep, Ichigo sure did, even though he wasn't a rapist or a murderer. Maybe a murderer, did killing Hollows count?

 

As I came closer to him that morning I felt tears prickling near the edges of my eyes and knew they were threatening to spill over the lids. I wouldn't cry now, I told myself, it was over. He was over. I was over him. Wasn't I? Yes, I was.

 

I know it. I am over him. I told myself this as I reached down and brushed a stray lock of hair from his face. My hand repeated the action as Ichigo sighed in his sleep, he smiled softly and I returned it.

 

Then I removed my hand and I leaped out the window.

 

I was at least four miles away—walking distance, shunpo would have been cheating—when the sun finally rose. I didn't know exactly where I was going, or why, but I just knew I wanted to go. Half of me wondered if Ichigo would even notice I was gone. The other half knew he would.

 

I wandered around aimlessly. Truthfully, I had thought I would be outside of the city by now, due to the fact that I had been walking for a while, but no, there were restaurants, shops, and places of interest all over the place. After a while I bought a kabob from a street vendor even though I wasn't very hungry—funny, I hadn't been hungry at all since yesterday, but a girls got to eat, right? Well, even if I was only in a borrowed fake body—and continued ambling around.

 

Even though I had expected to be out of the town by now I wasn't all that bothered by all of the buildings around me, it wasn't as busy at this time of the day (only eight or so in the morning) and I liked it that way. Besides, back in the Soul Society, when I had first become a noble and was thus thrust into the sniping world of the rich and cast of out the communicable world of the poor, I had liked to walk slowly around in abandoned forests and listen to the sounds of nature: rustling wind, chirping birds, buzzing bees—

 

I snorted softly, the birds and the bees… how could my subconscious be thinking about this right now?

 

Stupid subconscious.

 

I chewed slowly on the kabob and continued walking. I really hated all of this prattle that was going on in my brain. I just wished I could use one of my special Soul Reaper utilities and erase the part of my mind that entertained the bit with me and Ichigo having sex.

 

“Sex…” I muttered quietly. It was such a promising act that advertised arousal and pleasure and fulfillment. I snorted dejectedly; all I got from sex were empty feelings and headaches.

 

It was “nothing.”

 

I snarled and watched in distaste as an old couple near the side of the road shook their heads at me. Obviously they thought I was some aimless loser who didn't have a job or a constructive way to spend my time. I glared right back at them and continued walking. Ah well, not my problem… those two had probably gotten married really young—maybe even before the war—and lived a long and happy life together.

 

Yeah… I bet they had lots of sex. They must have had lots of kids after so much sweaty sex. They probably had grandkids and great-grandkids out the wazoo.

 

God damn it, why was I still thinking about it? And thinking about it with old geezers no less. It was nothing, nothing, nothing, and nothing…and if it was nothing I shouldn't be thinking about it. You can't really contemplate nothing since nothing is nothing. Nothing means that absolutely no action transpired between two people—or any people for that matter.

 

“Damn it!” I screamed, to no one in particular. The old couple behind me glared at me again and they called after me to stop being such a public disturbance, I ignored them and continued chewing on my kabob. I think I was eating octopus.

 

I continued walking around and looked into a couple of windows. There were meat shops, vegetables markets, souvenir stores, and pharmacies. I wandered around each of them, looking through the windows and wondering if I should by a little trinket. I would be leaving soon anyway, wouldn't I? Living like this was just too awkward. How were Ichigo and I supposed to remain casual friends after what had happened?

 

From my research I learned that lots of people had sex and forgot about it the next day. One night stands, hooking up, getting it on… lots of people did it, why should Ichigo and I be any different?

 

The main reason was simply because he had said that he loved me.

 

Ichigo pulled of her and she whimpered softly, wanting him back inside of her. He groaned softly and Rukia placed her hands on his chest, wanting to make sure his wound didn't open while he thrust inside and outside of her. Her hands skittered across his chest as he thrust back inside of her. Rukia's back arched into a magnificent bend and she let a choked cry flow from her throat.

 

Ichigo's mouth descended on hers and he kissed her deeply, intrusively, wrapping his tongue around hers until she could taste his essence deep down in the pit of her stomach. Ichigo continued to thrust into her wildly, his movements were becoming more erratic as his climax approached.

 

He released her mouth the minute his erection began to twitch and threaten to explode. “I love you,” he moaned, “I love you I love you I love you so much… since I first met you… I love you I love you I love you…”

 

Rukia clasped her thighs around Ichigo's waist, taking care not to injure him any more than he was right now. Her hips undulated with his and she bit back a scream as her pussy contracted around his cock and he released into her.

 

Seven times. Seven times he had said it to me. Seven fucking times and I was just supposed to forget it. Women spent months trying to get their boyfriends to confess that they loved them. I had gotten it seven times in only a couple of seconds. Who was I to complain anyway?

 

Maybe I was just spoiled. Well, no, I really wasn't. I knew that much, when I was in Rukongai I was a runt and an outcast and I never had enough food to eat. I was a forager along with Renji and our friends. I was even reduced to digging through the garbage a couple of times (okay… daily). In Soul Society I was fed—school food, yuck—and as a noble I was in danger of growing fat, but still, I didn't fit in there either. The “Princess of Rukongai” I was called. Stupid nickname. I was an outsider and a source of gossip all in one.

 

I kept walking until I found a small park. It was quiet—due to the fact that it was still I really early in the morning—but I ambled around nonetheless. It was nice, just listening to the birds and hearing the trees whispering in the morning sun. At times like these I hardly even thought about Ichigo.

 

DAMN IT!

 

I needed to incubate my mind… that was it… incubate it until he was gone. Maybe I could get someone from 12th Squad to fix it. My brain definitely needed fixing. Now that I had already had sex with Ichigo I was only thinking about the after effects.

 

And how much I wanted it again.

 

Sad but true. Rejected once and I wanted it again. Not the rejection, but to put it bluntly: the sex. I wanted the sex again. I loved how great it made me feel… like I was the most precious and adorable being on the planet. Plus having Ichigo tell me that he loved me was also quite a bonus. But damn… I never expected something that was practiced so regularly in the homes of regular men and women to be something so extraordinary and passionate. I mean, I wanted it so badly I was dreaming about it. Even though it had only been two nights since the act had occurred I felt occasional wetness in the lining of my panties and the curling of desire in my stomach.

 

I was slightly afraid of these strange feelings at first but after the third time I allowed the fantasies to continue inside of my head. I would daydream about Ichigo touching me between my legs and eventually putting his mouth and his tongue inside of me. I wanted his nose to gently rub the tiny nub he stroked perfectly two nights ago. It still startled me how he had known just the right places to touch and to tease so I would pant underneath him.

 

Something else curled into my stomach at the thought. Had he been with someone else during these constant months—years?—of fighting and battling? I hated this feeling… what was it? Was it jealousy? I didn't like it much. This jealousy thing made me feel like ripping apart any big-breasted, empty-headed, wafer-thin, painted pig who tried to get his attention.

 

Not that I really knew if any of them were approaching him because I wasn't even at school. For the second time today I wondered if he missed me.

 

Grumpily, I swallowed the last of my kabob and threw the stick in a nearby trashcan. I shouldn't be worrying about this. The birds were chirping in the emerald trees, the marshmallow clouds were puffing gently in the cerulean skies, and the color-splashed butterflies were flittering from one radiant flower to the next.

 

Maybe if I sat down in a patch of clean grass and scented flowers and thought of Ichigo…

 

Well, who knew what would happen?

 

Ichigo

 

The birds were chirping in the emerald trees, the marshmallow clouds were puffing gently in the cerulean skies, and the color-splashed butterflies were flittering from one radiant flower to the next… all that was going on and I couldn't have been more miserable.

 

Fuck.

 

I was sitting in a desk on a beautiful spring day surrounded by my friends learning something I actually wanted to know about…

 

And I was miserable, desolate, dejected, disconsolate, crestfallen, bleak, wretched, and whatever other colorful adjective I wanted to use to describe myself.

 

“I think I hate my life,” I muttered sourly to myself as I picked up my pencils and arranged them for the fiftieth time.

 

The teacher finished talking and dismissed all of us to lunch. I went gloomily; more than hating the fact that I was simply miserable, I hated the fact that I wasn't miserable with Rukia. Sure, I guess I wasn't talking to her but she still didn't have to take off like that and not tell me where she was going. Even though we weren't—aren't—talking.

 

Did I mention that I hate my life at the moment? Just to clarify for you.

 

When I woke up, she wasn't there. Usually when she's not there it means that she's out chasing after Hollows or some type of order from Soul Society. But not today…

 

Today I knew she was gone because of what happened. She would have been gone this morning and not yesterday morning because yesterday morning I told her we were late and there wasn't enough time in order to get mad at each other but today she would be gone because I told her yesterday it was… nothing.

 

Fuck.

 

I walked out to the edge of the school yard and leaned against a nearby tree, somewhere in the midst of all those leaves and branches I heard a baby bird chirp. Distantly I wondered if that baby bird knew what was in store for it. Famine, thirst, falling, bruising, the occasional cat, procreating, feeding their young—if it was a girl—and then dying. Death, expiration, kicking the bucket, fatality, departed, deceased, lifeless… gone.

 

Rukia was gone. Not dead but gone. She was Gone with the Wind. Ha ha. She was just like Scarlett and I was just like Rhett. Sort of…

 

Actually, that didn't make sense at all.

 

I rubbed a hand over my face and groaned softly. Why was my brain so muddled nowadays? I hated this, all this confusion and brain distortion and mind numbing puzzles. I hated all of it.

 

Maybe, just maybe, it was myself I hated. Was I really that much of a monster to act the way I did? Maybe I deserved this self inflicted torture. Was I being punished by some higher authority because of what I said/did to Rukia? Not that I meant to do it to Rukia… it just kind of happened.

 

Okay, so it just kind of happened that I was attacked by a rather large and powerful Hollow. It just kind of happened that I underestimated the strength of that particular Hollow and got most of my innards screwed. It just kind of happened that my own Hollow appeared and we destroyed the other one. It just kind of happened that I hobbled home and Rukia was there. It just kind of happened that her eyes misted over and I saw her as the most beautiful woman/girl/thing on the face of the planet. It just kind of happened that I fell into her arms and asked (begged?) her to mend my wounds. It just kind of happened that she healed me and stroked my hair as I curled up next to her. It just kind of happened that I pulled my lips to hers and kissed her like it was the only thing I needed to do in my entire life. I just kind of happened that I tore off her clothes and my bandages and wrapped her legs around my waist and took her on the floor. I just kind of happened that when I finished on the floor I took her in the bed.

 

Yeah, it all just kind of happened. So if it all just kind of happened, was I really to blame?

 

Yes.

 

Yes.

 

Yes.

 

Fuck.

 

The answer a thousand times over is `yes.' I am completely and utterly to blame for everything that happened two nights ago.

 

The wonderful… wonderful… wonderful experience that happened two nights ago. Not that I liked it… not at all… no, no… not at all.

 

Not. At. All.

 

I expelled a pent up breath of air I hadn't know I was holding and shook my head. I was lying to myself… again.

 

I enjoyed it. A lot. I liked it. A lot. I wanted it again. A lot.

 

I wanted it again.

 

That was the part that scared me the most. How much I wanted it, I mean. I don't remember wanting anything as much as I wanted to be with Rukia again. I shuddered in the spring heat and leaned my head against the trunk of the nearby tree.

 

“Rukia, Rukia, Rukia…” I murmured quietly—to myself again. People were avoiding me today so I was able to talk as loud as I want. “God I want you.”

 

Yes, I wanted her so badly I was thinking about it almost constantly. Do you know how hard it is to be thinking about mathematics one minute and then thinking about Rukia the next? Do you know how hard it is to have a semi-hard on all day? Do you know how hard it is to want something so badly that you think about it continually, until you're ready to burst?

 

I looked down at the front of my pants and cursed violently. Immediately, I sat on the ground and tried to think about cold things.

 

See, the only problem with thinking about cold things was that when I thought about cold things I thought of Rukia in cold things. And when Rukia was in cold things her skin prickled and her nipples stood at attention.

 

Mmmmm. Speaking of her nipples, her nipples also became erect when my mouth swooped down upon them and I sucked them. I shuddered helplessly and felt myself rubbing the tightening bulge in my pants—I just wanted to alleviate the pressure.

 

But I didn't want to do it myself… again. I wanted Rukia to do it. Relieve the pressure, I mean.

 

Fuckety, fuck, fuck.

 

When school was over I went home quickly and didn't walk anyone home. I knew that Orihime expected me to go to the store with her again but I didn't. I definitely didn't want to be with her to pick up strange foods she would use to make strange dishes. Ishida was only too happy to do it himself and even suggested a couple of semi-normal stews they could make together. I watched them go in disgruntled happiness. In a few days those two would be an item, I knew it. I stared at the sidewalk and kicked a pebble out of the way, in a few days I would be staring at an empty closet—not that Rukia lived in my closet anymore, in my sisters' room actually, but still, she would probably be gone.

 

Gone gone, not gone gone.

 

Oh God, what was going to happen if she told her brother?

 

In my mind I had a vision of him coming into my room late at night, standing over my prostrate form (I would be having a nightmare about him coming into my room while I was lying prostrate on my bed), he would draw his sword, drop it to the ground—no, wait, I wouldn't be worth that much to him, he'd just use his sekai, definitely not his bankai—so he would draw his sword, place it near his mouth, mutter those words—oh how I hated them—then those little blades would cut my body into so many different pieces they wouldn't know my left arm from my penis. Good God I hope I won't wake up when he kills me. That would actually be kind of hard… since I would be dead anyway. Would I die a quick death or would he let me suffer?

 

Probably suffer, I mean, didn't I tell her it was `nothing?'

 

Fuck.

 

And her brother, well, he might pretend not to like anyone but he was fairly protective of his baby sister. Baby adopted sister but still a baby sister.

 

I sighed one more time and opened the door to my bedroom. It was just like it always was: clean, non-messy, spotless, and flawless. I hated it. Good God, why can't the sheets be messy, like when Rukia was in them. Oh, they were really messy then, turned inside and out in a wide pile of simple, good for nothing, untidiness. There was also the fact that there was a naked Rukia inside of those disorderly sheets.

 

My eyes gazed off into the distance and I thought back to that beautiful, beautiful night.

 

She really loved it when I rubbed her clitoris with my tongue. I could hear her moaning and groaning above me. I dipped my tongue into her hot cunt and tickled her insides. She moaned and her thighs wrapped around my head so tightly I thought my head would tear off. Her hands dove into my hair and she tugged it ever so snugly that I thought it would be ripped out by the roots. Then I put my finger inside of her and she screamed softly, I almost thought it would advance into a howl but it didn't. When my head emerged from her center I looked up and saw she was biting her lip so hard crimson blood was falling in droplets from her mouth. I slinked up her body ever so slowly and licked the red liquid from her lips so it danced sultrily on my tongue. It was then that she whimpered and began to beg me to continue.

 

And continue I did… oh yes, of course I did… twice. Maybe even three times… who was I to remember? It was only the best night of my life and I wasn't even sure I was conscious during the (maybe?) third time. Perhaps she had done all the work…. Ooohhhh, that would have been really nice…

 

I sat down on the un-rumpled sheets and rubbed my hands all along the entirety of the soft cotton. Swallowing thickly, I shook my head and flopped onto my side, my arms curling around my knees.

 

Maybe if I stayed here and thought of Rukia… well, who knew what would happen?