Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Court or Caught? ❯ Toothless or Truthless? ( Chapter 15 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters.

 

Toothless or Truthless?

 

“Orihime, before anyone else has another idea for a date, let's go out on Tuesday. Don't tell anyone or they'll want to come. I'll think of something to do and tell you tomorrow. No matter what, we won't accept any more pressure to attend another group date,” he heard the urgent tone in his whisper but didn't care. Trying to have a date alone was rapidly turning into an unattainable dream.

 

Instead of giving a verbal response, Orihime smiled at him and nodded.

 

Ichigo found he was breathing a sigh of relief at her acceptance. Glancing ahead he noted the figure sweeping the ground outside the shop and realised he didn't recognise the boy hunched over the broom. He saw a young girl emerge from the shop and looking up the boy saw their approach, handed the broom to the girl and rushed inside.

 

“I think Hat and Clogs might know we're coming now,” Ichigo stated. He hadn't hoped that they would be unobserved.

 

Orihime hesitated and drew back slightly. “I think I'll stay here, Ichigo,” she quietly murmured. “I have no wish to see the shopkeeper. I don't think he'll try to kiss me, but…”

 

“But the game scared you,” Rukia said, overhearing the quiet words. She flashed a look of concern at the schoolgirl. “I think I can understand that. I didn't like that card either.”

 

Orihime nodded her eyes downcast. “I know it sounds weak and I want to be brave, but that game terrified me. Last night I kept waking up, scared those things were still there and then wondering what the penalties would be. I'm sorry I bought the game, but I didn't know…”

 

“Of course you didn't know,” Ichigo reassured her. “How could you know? Hey, don't worry Orihime; no one thinks that you are responsible.” He patted her on the shoulder.

 

“Yeah, kid. Don't make a big thing about it. At least it was more entertaining than the dictionary game we were playing earlier. That was boring,” Renji said blandly.

 

“This from the Shinigami who fought so hard against being controlled and collapsed into his girlfriends arms like an infant seeking its mother. I can perceive that you found it highly entertaining,” Uryu said obviously smarting from the slight on the game he had suggested.

 

“We waste time. Let's talk to this shopkeeper man,” Chad said, his voice abruptly cutting through the growing tension.

 

Before Orihime could fade into the background, Ichigo realised it was too late. Fluttering his fan in one hand and carrying his walking stick in the other, Urahara emerged from his shop, a wide smile on his face as he observed his visitors. “Have you the money you owe Miss Kuchiki?” he asked Rukia.

 

“Not yet. You told me we could have time to pay,” she began, preparing to argue.

 

“But I am a business man, my dear. As time passes, the debt grows. If you enticed your crimson haired ally to assist you in killing some Hollows, who have a large bounty on their heads, you would easily be able to pay me back the insignificant amount of coin you owe,” was the straightforward response. “Hello. I don't believe we've met as yet. I'm Kisuke Urahara,” he said tilting his head to look up at Chad.

 

“Sado. I came because of these cards,” Chad said thrusting the cards toward the shopkeeper who took them from him reluctantly.

 

“I see. They've been used and there is a strict no return policy on used items. What is the problem with them? I have had no other complaints. Sweet Miss Inoue, you do not have a problem with your purchase, do you?” He smiled at her amiably and Orihime moved closer to Ichigo.

 

“I hate to be presumptive, but have other customers purchased that item?” Uryu almost sounded satirical when he asked the question.

 

“I don't have the sales figures on me at present,” Urahara said airily until Rukia and Renji moved close, very close, their attitudes threatening and Renji's hand reaching for his zanpaku-to. “I don't recommend this as the time for fighting,” the shopkeeper said backing away, a little.

 

“Answer the Quincy, or Rukia'll tell the health inspectors about that cat that you allow to roam the shop,” Renji said belligerently. His eyes were as hard as his voice and it was obvious he would not need much encouragement to start fighting.

 

“Ah, so that's how you will play this. I see. Come into the shop and I'll examine my records,” Urahara said, piteously, but even to Ichigo's ears the tone sounded false.

 

“Come on, you know precisely how many of those you've sold. Let me guess. One,” Rukia snapped. “Orihime only bought the game because she didn't really look at it. I refused to purchase it when you tried to sell it to me.”

 

Urahara spread his arms, his hands open and his expression full of unconvincing concern. “I find it so disappointing when merchandise doesn't sell. I think perhaps this discussion should take place inside. Please accompany me and I will provide tea, or water. Jinta, please ask Tessai to provide refreshments for our guests,” he instructed the orange haired boy who was skulking behind him.

 

“Can't you get… Okay. I won't do the sweeping though,” the boy stated before running off.

 

Urahara led them through the shop into a room which featured a table and some low seats. “Please sit, make yourselves comfortable. Would you like to sit next to me, Miss Kuchiki and Miss Inoue on the other side, perhaps?”

 

“No. Orihime does not sit near you. I'll sit on one side of you and Renji will sit on the other side. Orihime, you sit next to me,” Ichigo commanded.

 

“So forceful, Mr Kurosaki. Very well, if that is how it is, I will not complain. As long as I can gaze at these two lovely flowers of womanhood, I am content,” was Urahara's wistful pronouncement.

 

“Stop talking rubbish, Kisuke,” a black cat said as it sprang onto his shoulder.

 

Silence suddenly descended on the room. Uryu and Ichigo exchanged glances remembering their previous encounter with this particular talking cat.

 

“That cat. It talks,” Chad said; a stunned expression on his face.

 

“That giant. It talks,” the cat replied, in a reasonable imitation of Chad's voice.

 

“Are you a ventriloquist, Mr Urahara?” Orihime asked excitedly, while leaning against Ichigo.

 

While he didn't like Orihime talking to the shopkeeper, he did like her leaning against him. Ichigo considered slipping an arm around her waist but decided that he did not want the guy to witness any display of affection, otherwise he might want to get involved.

 

“No, I am. He's just the dummy,” the cat said, a hint of laughter in his words. At least Ichigo assumed the cat was a male, due to the depth of the voice.

 

“Now, that's not quite true Yoruichi,” Urahara said stroking the cat under the chin.

 

At the sound of the name both Rukia and Renji sat up straight, staring at the cat as if they had heard something that startled them. What was going on? Ichigo decided his life was becoming decidedly strange. Too many new experiences; not all of them pleasant.

 

“Y..Y.. Yoruichi?” Renji stammered.

 

“Why? Do you think I should be called Fluffy or something? Why can't a cat have an interesting name?” the cat replied, pushing its head onto the stroking fingers. “Scratch me between the ears Kisuke. I've had an itch there all day.”

 

“Felines can be so demanding,” Urahara mock complained as he complied with the demand.

 

“So can perverts,” the cat rejoined with a purr of contentment as it relaxed.

 

“Excuse me. Interesting though I find this interchange between you both, we did come here on another matter,” Uryu said firmly while his glasses slid slightly down his nose. He frowned and pushed them back to their accustomed position.

 

Before either Urahara or the cat could reply, the door opened and a large man with braided hair, bushy moustache and glasses entered bearing a tray. He placed it on the table and Ichigo was relieved to see some food. He was hungry and if they stayed at the shop much longer, he might miss out on dinner.

 

“Please stay, Tessai. You might wish to hear this conversation and you can pour the tea. Cake anyone? Biscuits? Chocolate?”

 

Ichigo grabbed a plate and started loading it, but then realised no one else had moved to take food. Guiltily he handed it to Orihime, who accepted it with a smile.

 

“I don't have to get your food for you, do I?” Directing the question at Rukia, Renji seemed outraged at the idea.

 

“No, I am quite capable of feeding myself.” The slight edge to Rukia's voice did not appear to impress itself on Renji as he quickly piled food on his plate and began to stuff his face.

 

Shrugging Uryu accepted a cup of tea and a biscuit, while Chad only accepted the tea and only then after watching Urahara drink some. Ichigo and Rukia selected their food and sipped their tea watching as the cat lapped at some milk that had been brought.

 

Drinking his tea thoughtfully Chad said, “This is not a social visit. My friends are not happy about the game.”

 

“Not happy. How could the game disappoint anyone? It is fun for all the family and could not offend a soul. I am wounded that you are making these accusations when there is nothing wrong with the game. The problem must exist with those who played the game.” Urahara, held the fan in front of his mouth as he spoke.

 

Ichigo wondered what he was hiding but then allowed his attention to be absorbed by the large piece of chocolate cake he was eating. “Who made the cake?” he asked, without thinking.

 

“I did,” the tall man serving tea replied.

 

“It's good. Really rich and filling,” Ichigo said with surprise.

 

“I would have liked some chilli in my piece, or maybe some spinach,” Orihime said quietly.

 

Ichigo found he was shaking his head involuntarily. Chocolate and spinach? The combination was bizarre; bizarre and nauseating.

 

“Could you kindly keep your focus on the real reason we are here, Kurosaki? I would like to arrive home sometime this evening,” Uryu's cold voice was unrelenting. “I refute your comment about the problem being with the people playing the game Mr Urahara. The problem exists within the game.” His stern words matched the expression on his face.

 

“So, what happened?” Yoruichi asked, abandoning the milk and returning to sit on the shopkeeper's knee.

 

“You know, that's a very good question. Perhaps I should have asked that earlier. I'm so fortunate to have you to remind me of the obvious,” Urahara said silkily as he stroked Yoruichi's ears. He yelped slightly as the cat drove its claws into his knee.

 

“Kisuke, you begin to annoy me. You, giant, can you explain?” the cat demanded forcefully.

 

Shaking his head, Chad replied, “I was not there.”

 

“Okay, you, the Quincy want-to-be, or the substitute Shinigami. What happened? Speak.” Yoruichi's sharp eyes gazed at Uryu.

 

“I AM a Quincy, not a want-to-be,” the tone of voice was making it evident that Uryu was not pleased with the insinuation.

 

Ichigo didn't care what the cat called him. It was just a cat and he still believed that Urahara was using either a very good illusion or throwing his voice to make them believe the cat could talk. If he wanted to keep the joke going, it didn't matter.

 

“Okay, you're a Quincy if that's what you want to accept as true. Tell me what happened,” the cat said. It almost seemed that the cat was smirking at the teen.

 

Urahara just smiled and watched as Uryu struggled not to retort. Renji turned his face away and Ichigo was sure he was smiling. Rukia didn't even try to pretend, or at least she covered her mouth too late to prevent anyone from seeing her grin. Orihime did not act amused. Her smile was toward Uryu and was meant to provide support. Chad's expression did not change at all, but then, Ichigo did not expect it to.

 

Taking a deep breath, Uryu began to relate the events. Every so often, Rukia, Renji or Ichigo would add something, if it seemed important. Chad, Urahara and Yoruichi asked a number of questions, while Orihime continued to lean into Ichigo. He noticed he'd put his arm around her waist, holding her close even though he had previously decided it was not the right company to do this.

 

“When did I do that?” he wondered. “I must have done it without thinking. Not that I mind, because she seems to need the support. I hope Urahara doesn't notice.”

 

Even though Uryu was trying to be brief, it took some time to relate the events that had occurred during the game. None of them mentioned `The Handsome Shopkeeper' card. When he finished, Urahara was frowning and the cat was shaking its head.

 

“When did this happen?”

 

This time Ichigo answered the question asked by Tessai. He hadn't expected the guy to participate, but now it was obvious he had been listening intently to the conversation. “Last night.”

 

“This is not good. This is bad, very bad,” Tessai said to his employer.

 

“I didn't know anything like this was going to happen,” Urahara protested, his eyes wide with innocence, or was it only pretence?

 

Looking around at his friends, Ichigo could see that none of them trusted him and even Tessai's face seemed to hold traces of doubt that his employer was being totally honest.

 

“Thinking back, I know I told you the game was a bad idea,” the cat had left Urahara and was now sitting in the middle of the group. “You should listen to me. The Fates can be unkind and Dame Fortune is not one to be taken lightly. It's because of her….” He stopped abruptly and arched his back, hissing. “No. I can't mention it.”

 

“You know Dame Fortune?” Rukia's voice was incredulous.

 

“That cannot be possible. Fate and Dame Fortune are constructs, not real beings...” Uryu began to deny the statement, but faltered, as he recalled the events of the previous night.

 

“Just as Shinigami, Quincy's, ghosts, Hollows and souls don't exist. There are more things in Heaven and Earth, Quincy, than are dreamt of in your philosophy,” Ichigo could not pass the opportunity to quote from Hamlet. He'd wanted to use it before but had never been presented with the opening.

 

He was not surprised when Uryu's face expressed his disdain of Ichigo and the quote. “Just because you can quote a few words from some dead English playwright does not make the quote appropriate or you appear intelligent. But that is unimportant at present. What do these penalties mean?”

 

They all gazed at Urahara who was looking at the ceiling, his forehead wrinkled as he waved his fan. Curious, Ichigo looked up, but couldn't see what interested the man. He began to wonder if he was unwilling to answer, and given his previous experience with him, decided it was likely. Turning to Orihime he noticed she too was looking up and then blushed and looked at him. Her tentative smile made him smile back and resolve that they would go on the date on Tuesday without any gooseberries or assorted friends who would interfere.

 

“I didn't expect this outcome. Nothing I did could have caused this to happen. What to do, what to do?” the words were spoken in an undertone and Ichigo's attention was dragged back to Urahara. “Show me the cards,” he demanded suddenly.

 

“You put them down in front of you,” the cat informed the man.

 

Picking them up, Urahara took them from the box and looked through them. “Were the any other unusual cards present? Any cards depicting a real person, perhaps?” The tone was light, the question was very serious.

 

“There was one,” Orihime said, her voice jerking as she spoke. “There was a card with you on it, Mr Urahara.”

 

The expression on the face of the man indicated that he did not like this piece of information. He looked aghast until he quickly rearranged his features to pretend that it meant nothing to him. “I see. I'm sure it was a very attractive card with a good fortune, was it not?”

 

Letting go of Orihime and without consciously intending to, Ichigo punched Urahara in the jaw, sending the unsuspecting shopkeeper sprawling onto the floor. The cat laughed. “I wondered how long it would take. I think a few of these kids might want a chance to beat you, Kisuke. No, Tessai, leave the boy alone. He was provoked,” he told the tall man who was looming up behind Ichigo.

 

Urahara sat up, his hand touching his jaw, examining his teeth as his tongue licked at the blood from a cut lip. “Good punch. I think you loosened some of my teeth. Maybe Miss Orihime could examine the damage…”

 

Before he could finish the suggestion, Ichigo hit him again, his fist smashing against the shopkeeper's nose. This time the man rocked from the force of the blow, but did not fall and blood began to drip from the damaged feature.

 

“If you try to get Orihime to do anything I'll break every tooth in your mouth,” Ichigo said, his anger not even slightly appeased by the sight of blood.

 

“Miss Kuchiki,” Urahara began only to receive a fist in the eye from Renji.

 

“You can leave her alone as well,” the crimson haired Shinigami informed him. “Rukia is mine.”

 

“I'm not. I'm mine,” Rukia said crossly.

 

Renji turned to her and embraced her, holding her close. “No. You're mine. Don't forget it, Rukia. When you come home I'm going to talk to your brother.”

 

“I'm sure you talk to him...” Rukia began and then tailed off. Her eyes grew wide and a silly smile crossed her face. Renji looked very content at her reaction and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

 

While this was happening, the cat had returned to Urahara and was looking at him curiously. “Tessai, I think we need the first aid kit. Would you get it, please?” He then turned to face the others. “Does anyone else wish to beat up Kisuke, or have you finished for now?”

 

“I would, but I do not wish to resort to physical violence,” Uryu said with reluctance. “I do not punch unsuspecting people as that is not fair, no matter the provocation. In this instance I do not judge the actions of Ichigo or Renji too harshly as I agree the aggravation was great.”

 

“I have no desire to hit the man,” Chad said seriously.

 

They watched as the man touched his eye wincing as he did so. “I'm pleased to hear that at least four of you don't wish to attack me,” was his dry reply.

 

“What four? If I was closer I'd be pounding on you by now,” Rukia raised her voice as she leant forward. “You're to blame, I know you are. You and your twisted games and gimmicks.”

 

“I think we should let her have her chance, don't you Kuchiki?” Yoruichi said in a calm, pleasant voice.

 

“No I don't and my nose won't stop bleeding,” he complained. “Honestly, the youth of today have no respect for their elders.”

 

Ichigo laughed as the comment struck him as funny. “Respect? What is there to respect about a guy who keeps making passes at young girls?”

 

“But have I touched either Miss Kuchiki or Miss Inoue? It's only my fun and I don't press my attentions on minors.” Despite the rapidly bruising eye, the cut lip and the swollen nose Urahara tried to look noble. “If I can't flirt with pretty young ladies without earning a beating, then life is not worth living,” were his dramatic words as Tessai reappeared holding the first aid kit.

 

Repairing the damage took a little time. Tessai eventually removed the bloodied swabs and Urahara's nose stopped leaking blood. The eye remained swollen.

 

“I think you might need to have your nose set,” Yoruichi said observing him closely.

 

Tessai looked and said decisively, “It's okay.” He slapped at Urahara's hand. “Don't touch it, Sir. Give it a chance to heal. I can always fix with later with, um, you know…” his voice trailed away.

 

“Can we get on with this?” Ichigo was irritated at the delay and looking at his watch he grabbed some more cake. “I'm missing dinner because of you.”

 

The others looked at him blankly, except for Rukia. “Oh, dinner.”

 

“Is that soup still cooking? You were making yakatori for tomorrow and what about the rice?” Yoruichi asked Tessai.

 

“I'm not feeding the people who assaulted me,” Urahara said adamantly. “That would seem as if I was rewarding them.” His pique was obvious.

 

“But we have to get to the bottom of this, now. We can't afford to let it wait, or it could become a problem for you as well, you know that,” Yoruichi went up and brushed his head against Urahara's hand. “Come on, you keep saying you want to have a party.”

 

Grudgingly he smiled at the cat. “You have me twisted around your paw, don't you? Tessai, dinner for all of us. How long will it be?”

 

“10 minutes. I'll finalise the preps now,” Tessai almost bowed, caught himself in time and left the room, closing the door firmly behind.

 

“I cordially invite you to dinner this evening,” the cat almost purred, glancing at each of the friends.

 

“It's my shop and my food. I should be the one issuing the invitation,” was the muttered aside of the shopkeeper.

 

“Thank you. I accept your kind hospitality,” Uryu said gravely while nodding his head slightly.

 

“I'll stay,” was the decisive response of Chad.

 

“I'm hungry,” patting his stomach, Renji registered his approval of the invitation.

 

“If my pig is staying, I'll stay as well to make certain some food is allowed to go to other people,” Rukia said as she cuffed her love over the ear.

 

He protested against the nickname and they were soon involved in one of their ongoing arguments.

 

“I'll stay if Ichigo is staying,” Orihime said quietly. “As long as there's no more violence.” There was a trace of reproof in her voice and Ichigo immediately felt guilty.

 

“I'll stay. Sorry Orihime. The guy got to me and I don't care if he thinks he's joking. It's not funny and he should know that. If he doesn't want everyone to think he's a pervert, then he shouldn't act like one.”

 

“He's not really a pervert, though he likes to pretend he is. He has a rather peculiar sense of humour and keeps forgetting how people may react. But he's a good friend,” Yoruichi said.

 

“To a talking cat. I suppose that means he feeds you regularly and gives you milk,” Ichigo could not disguise the sarcasm in his voice, nor did he wish to.

 

Looking at Urahara he noticed the man was trying to conceal a smile. “That, among other things,” the man agreed.

 

The cat padded over to Ichigo and looked into his face. He felt slightly uncomfortable by the cat's scrutiny, but the cat then observed each of the others in turn, with the exception of Urahara.

 

“I think you better look at these kids closely Kisuke. The giant is okay, but the rest have residual spirit particles that are not their own. We need to do some analysis after dinner as that will prove what they have told us is true. If it is true, if they were visited by the three Fates and Dame Fortune and incurred penalties we have to take action.” The deep voice boomed slightly as it delivered his verdict.

 

Urahara shifted, his whole body indicating his discomfort at the instructions. His mouth turned down at the edges and he pushed his hat over his eyes. “Let's not be hasty. It was just meant to be a game, not a gateway.”

 

“You idiot. You did it, didn't you? I wondered when I saw the books. Kisuke, this is bad. Let me look at the cards, quickly,” the urgency in the cat's voice chilled Ichigo.

 

He began to wish people would actually say what they meant. All this half inferred stuff was confusing him. All he wanted was an answer, food, an uninterrupted date with Orihime, world peace, an end to global warming, a just and equitable legal system, a sensible redistribution of the world's wealth and a sane father. He wondered if there was any chance he would get one of them.

 

“Could you please stop hinting at things,” a voice to his left said.

 

Startled, he turned to Orihime who had spoken and she continued. “This happened to us, last night. We were trapped by those things, whatever they were and made to play a game that hurt us all. We don't know what the penalties are and I'm scared. Now you seem to know something and keep talking around it. I don't think you're being fair.” Her cheeks had flushed as she spoke, and her eyes shone with anger.

 

“Bravo, Orihime. I concur with every word you uttered. We are involved, not through choice, but if you know something, by all that's right, you should share this information,” Uryu said, his face pale and tense. He looked over the top of his glasses at the shopkeeper and the cat.

 

Ichigo didn't know what to do. He felt like getting to his feet and cheering Orihime. She had cut through all the garbage and said the one thing that needed to be said. It was time that the cat and Hat and Clogs told them the truth.

 

“Yeah, what they said,” Renji agreed.

 

Urahara had placed the cards in front of the cat, apparently unaffected by the outburst and the cat began pawing through the cards, muttering quietly. “You owe these people an apology,” Yoruichi said at length. “Did you even look at these cards when they were returned?”

 

“I did. Some of the cards have been changed and some have been replaced. I would almost hazard that the combination of unusually strong spirit energies may have caused this unfortunate alteration, but there seems to be a missing element,” his face serious, Urahara looked at Rukia directly. “Rukia, was there something unusual about the place you played this game? Any Hollow activity?”

 

“Yes, there was,” Ichigo said before anyone else could answer. “Pretty recently.” He hoped no one would be stupid enough to go into detail.

 

“And last night was the full moon,” Yoruichi added.

 

“Orihime asked that you stop hinting at things,” Chad said firmly.

 

Sighing heavily Urahara looked at the cat who returned his stare.

 

“If you don't tell them I think you might end up minus a few teeth,” Yoruichi advised.

 

Just then Tessai entered the room and informed them that dinner was ready while insisting they eat it immediately. As they walked to the dining room Ichigo felt his frustration rise. Would Urahara ever give a straight answer?

 

Author's Note:

 

To clarify matters this story is set very early in the Bleach timeline, before Renji and Byakuya come to take Rukia back to Soul Society and a short while after Chad and Orihime gain their powers. Prior to this story Chad, Uryu, Renji and Orihime have not met Urahara or Yoruichi.

 

Some matters will be explained next chapter, I promise. If Urahara is stubborn, I'll just have to let Ichigo, Renji and Rukia play the tooth loosening game. I know that in reality, Urahara would probably avoid any physical violence or defend himself, but I was thinking he might not expect Ichigo or Renji to hit him. Anyway, it was more fun this way, at least for me.

 

Next chapter: Will the food be tasty? (Yes) Can Urahara eat with his loose teeth? (I don't know) How much information will be provided? (Yes, that's a good question) What about the penalties? Will Keigo turn up at the shop? (I hope not.)

 

Please review.

 

MS