Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Daydreams Come True ❯ Rukia ( Chapter 3 )

Daydreams Come True 3

 

I do not own Bleach or the characters.

 

Warning contains lots of crying and some declarations. Romantic content.

 

Rukia.

 

Rukia was trying to sob quietly. She didn't want to be quiet. She wanted to howl, to yell her grief aloud but she did not want anyone to hear. Her feelings were so confusing. Anger, sadness, embarrassment, sexual relief, fear, guilt and pride choked her and made breathing difficult. She wasn't crying out of sadness. Anger sometimes made her cry. That was why she was crying. It wasn't the other emotions, was it?

 

She huddled in Ichigo's wardrobe with her hands over her mouth, trying to muffle the sound of her sobbing. She'd heard Ichigo ask if she was okay a few times and knock on the door. He tried to open the door, but she stopped him. Eventually, she heard him return to his bed and silence settled on the room outside.

 

What had she been thinking? Well, obviously she hadn't been thinking, otherwise she wouldn't be in this mess. How would she be able to face Ichigo tomorrow, or ever? She must stop thinking that way. She must find a solution. Maybe if she identified her problems that would help. Rukia wiped her face and tried to relax. She slowed her breathing and tried one of the relaxation techniques she had been taught in Soul Society. Breathe, visualise a garden with a fishpond. See the fish slowly swimming in the water. Good, she was regaining control.

 

Now the problems. She must list them without entering into an emotional state.

 

Problem 1. She was stuck in the mortal world in a Gigai.

 

Problem 2. Her Soul Reaper powers had been taken from her and they were slow to return.

 

Problem 3. Without her Soul Reaper powers she could not return to Soul Society.

 

Problem 4. She was living in a cupboard.

 

Problem 5. She was attending high school. (Okay, maybe that wasn't a big problem. The truth was she did not want to even think about the next 2 problems. She was delaying).

 

Problem 6. She had……. Rukia took a deep breath. She had been intimate with Ichigo. Did that disguise the truth enough? She hoped that sugar coating the truth would make it a little easier to acknowledge. No, that was dishonest. Try again.

 

Problem 6. She'd had sex with Ichigo. Images rose in her mind of Ichigo naked, Ichigo kissing her breast and then…. Stop thinking about the details.

 

Now, the hardest problem to face. Rukia tried the relaxation technique again. Goldfish swimming, swim, swim, swim, a little self control regained.

 

It was harder to disguise this problem. It was too hard. She would ignore it. Maybe Ichigo had not heard her say Kaien's name. He might have been too involved in his own pleasure.

 

Then she remembered the expression on his face she'd briefly glimpsed before she dashed to the cupboard. He'd heard.

 

Problem 7. When she came she said Kaien's name, aloud.

 

It didn't sound so bad, did it?

 

Rukia started crying quietly. It was bad. Facing the truth didn't help. The first 3 problems were difficult, but she had managed until now. The last 2 problems were the one's she really had to solve.

 

In some ways she blamed Ichigo for both the problems. If he didn't look so much like Kaien problem 6 wouldn't have happened, and then problem 7 wouldn't have followed. If they hadn't occurred she could be thinking about solving the other problems.

 

If she was fair, Rukia knew she could not blame Ichigo for the way he looked. Or that he acted like Kaien sometimes. He even sounded a little like Kaien. It was not his fault. It was her problem. He was also a teenager and they were notoriously horny. Not surprising that he followed her lead with a few token protests. If only he hadn't been so easy and eager and quick to learn. If the kisses hadn't felt so enjoyable. If his cock wasn't so large and if it hadn't felt so good in her hands, her mouth…. Rukia realised the path her thoughts were taking and shook her head. She was acting like a sexually obsessed idiot.

 

Speaking of idiot's if she had to blame someone, she'd blame that idiotic mod soul, Kon. If he hadn't done something to excite himself, she wouldn't have seen Ichigo's hard on and felt tempted. What had Kon been doing? Serves him right that he was hanging out the window and it was raining. She'd find out what he had been doing, soon enough. Rotten Kon.

 

Yet Kon was still so very young in the world. He never really thought of the consequences of his actions and did not see peoples' emotions as important. She could blame Kon, partly for problem 6 and 7, but she had to accept some of the blame herself.

 

She'd felt attracted to Ichigo as soon as she noticed he resembled Kaien closely, but she'd suppressed her feelings. As she worked with him, she began to admire and feel comfortable with him. This morning, her control had been shaken when she had opened the cupboard slightly and seen Ichigo lying in bed, asleep, with a morning hard on. The sheet covered part of the erection, but Rukia had seen enough to interest her in seeing more. She preferred looking at Ichigo when he was asleep. It was more restful than looking at him awake and he wouldn't know if she was staring. If only the sheet would slide down further and reveal more. Rukia quickly shut the cupboard door. What was she doing? Being with teenagers so much must be affecting her. She was not normally aroused this easily, not by just seeing a naked male, but she found herself thinking about possibilities.

 

When they'd arrived home that evening after killing Hollows, Ichigo's hard on had been clearly visible, even through his pants. When Kon ran back from the bathroom, trying to hug her and gain her sympathy, she had quickly put him out the window. Kon was annoying. She toyed with a few ideas of what she should do before Ichigo returned. Her first thought was she should go to bed, but she wanted to tease Ichigo, just a little. Okay, maybe she had subconsciously been planning to seduce him. She remembered the way his hands had touched her, the way his body felt against hers, the look on his face when she took off her clothes.

 

Must stop thinking about sex. Must think of a plan to solve problem 7.

 

The obvious solution was to apologise and explain. Rukia, of course, knew this was the obvious solution, but it was the option she did not want take. She hated apologising to Ichigo. He did not make it easier with his sarcastic comments. He would also demand an explanation and the thought of the explanation made Rukia feel uncomfortable. He would remind her constantly, or use it against her. It would mean he knew something about her that she did not want to share.

 

After contemplating the matter, Rukia decided get it over with. If she explained now, she might get some sleep and not dread the next meeting with Ichigo. It would be over, finished. She wiped away the traces of her crying as best she could and opened the cupboard. Ichigo was asleep.

 

Rukia left the cupboard and went over to the bed.

 

`Ichigo. Ichigo, wake up.'

 

`Wake, what? Grugh. No.'

 

Rukia pushed his shoulder. `Ichigo, wake up. We need to talk.'

 

Ichigo's eyes opened slightly. He saw Rukia standing by his bed and rubbed his eyes.

 

`What is it Rukia? I was sleeping. Is there another Hollow?'

 

`Move over, Ichigo. I want to sit down and talk.'

 

Ichigo's eyes brightened and he grinned.

 

`You mean like the last time we `talked'? I'm quite happy to `talk' with you, Rukia. Anytime. Here, let me take your clothes off.' He moved closer to her.

 

Rukia blushed.

 

`No, I mean really talk, Ichigo. What happened was a mistake and I have to apologise. I'm sorry.'

 

Ichigo's grin faded and he sighed. He lay on his back and put his hands behind his head.

 

`So, it was a mistake? I actually thought it was pretty good and you did sort of promise that if you enjoyed it, we might fuck again.' Ichigo deliberately placed a heavy emphasis on the word she had used a few hours before. “I seem to remember you enjoying it. I know my experience is limited, but I think you came. I think you came, saying someone's name. Not mine.'

 

Rukia was shocked at the anger in his voice and she started to retreat to her cupboard, to again cry unseen. She had not expected anger. Ichigo, noticing her move, quickly grabbed her hand and pulled her onto the bed. Rukia was crying openly now. Her control had vanished in the face of his anger. The sobs were racking her body and she could not control her shaking. In an uncharacteristically gentle gesture, Ichigo held her close, soothingly rubbing his hand on her back and saying nothing. Rukia continued to cry, but the sobs gradually eased. She did not think she had this many tears.

 

`I'm sorry, Ichigo. I know that must have hurt you. I did not mean to hurt you.'

 

`Who is Kaien, Rukia? Is he waiting for you back in Soul Society?'

 

`He was the vice captain of my division and my friend.'

 

`And your lover, too, I suppose.' He paused and thought for a moment. `Wait, was the vice captain. Is he a captain, now?'

 

`No, he's dead, Ichigo. Dead.'

 

Ichigo held Rukia again until her sobs eased.

 

`So you loved him, he loved you and now he's dead.'

 

`He didn't love me. He was married.'

 

`So, you weren't lovers. Then why did you call his name out, not mine?' Ichigo asked, with a strange lack of emotion.

 

“Because,' Rukia paused. `Except for the orange hair, you look exactly like him.'

 

Ichigo's eyes widened in surprise. Then his expression changed. He looked hurt and angry. He pushed Rukia away from him and turned his back on her.

 

`Go away,' he said.

 

`What? Why? I don't understand.' Rukia was confused.

 

“Just go. I don't want to talk to you.'

 

`Ichigo…'

 

`I know I'm a substitute Soul Reaper, Rukia, your substitute, but I will not be a substitute fuck. I have some pride. You loved this Kaien and fucked me because I look like him. You didn't have a chance with him when he was alive, so you thought if you fucked me it would be like fucking him. That's sick. You used me. I don't like to be used. I don't let people use me. I expect you'll find somewhere else to stay. I don't want you here. Leave.'

 

`I'm sorry, Ichigo,' Rukia tried to touch Ichigo but he moved further away.

 

`Don't touch me. Leave.' Ichigo snapped not turning around.

 

Rukia found herself saying, `But I don't want to leave you, Ichigo. I love you.'

 

What? She hadn't expected to say that. Was it even true?

 

Ichigo turned to look at her. His eyes were cold. `I didn't think you would be so low, Rukia. I can't believe you. I thought you could at least be honest. Trying to trick me won't help. You're making a bad situation even worse. You don't love me. You think you can say that because I remind you of Kaien.' He spat out Kaiens' name and paused, glaring at her. `Just go.'

 

`I love you, Ichigo. I am not trying to trick you.' Rukia said her voice catching in her throat. She knew it was true.

 

`You don't love me Rukia. You love who I look like. Stop playing games.'

 

Ichigo was very angry now, his voice had hardened. This was a nightmare. She had to convince him.

 

`I know it's hard to believe, Ichigo. I have trouble believing it myself. I didn't want to fall in love with you, but I have. I love you more than I've loved anyone. I didn't want to tell you about Kaien because I thought it would hurt you. I don't want to make you angry, or hurt you. I'm so sorry.' Rukia was sobbing again.

 

Ichigo looked at Rukia. There was a long silence. Rukia continued to cry. She felt helpless and sick. Her body was shaking. If only none of this had happened. She felt so guilty. She tried to get up to leave but her legs would not support her. She fell back on the bed huddled into a ball and continued crying.

 

`You say you love me?' Ichigo finally said. His voice was cool, giving nothing away and his expression was unreadable.

 

`Yes, I love you Ichigo.' Rukia said as clearly as she could through her sobs. She wiped her eyes and looked at him, her emotion visible on her face. Another silence.

 

`Why tell me now? You've manipulated me before now, used me. Why tell me you love me?' Ichigo asked her, more serious than she had ever seen him.

 

Rukia answered honestly.

 

`Because I didn't realise how I felt. I only realised I loved you when you wanted me to leave, then I realised how much I'd hurt you. I'd finally worked out you were Ichigo, not Kaien. I thought it might be my only chance to tell you. '

 

Ichigo had a strange expression on his face. He did not speak, just looked at her. Finally he scratched the back of his head and sighed.

 

`I guess I love you too, Rukia. When you called his name out last night, I pretended to myself that it didn't matter. I told myself that next time I would make you scream my name. I wanted to have sex with you and drive you so wild you would forget Kaien even existed. That's why it hurt so much when you didn't deny you loved him. Then you told me I look like him. I wanted to kill him and you. It made me jealous. Then I realised my feelings. I felt so bitter. It made me angry. Then, after all that, you tell me you love me. I found it so hard to believe. I thought it was another subtle way to torture me. I wanted to stay angry with you and make you leave, but seeing you so helpless, crying out of control until you couldn't move, gradually made me believe you. You don't cry often, Rukia. You hate to lose control.' He paused. `But I have one question. How would you have felt, if you were me? .'

 

There was silence in the room as Rukia and Ichigo looked at each other.

 

`I think I would've been angry too, Ichigo. I would have been so hurt if you had said someone else's name. I think I would have felt worthless, as if I didn't really exist. I wasn't thinking very clearly. I have no excuses. I will try to make it up to you anyway I can.'

 

Tentatively, Rukia reached out her hand to Ichigo. He hesitated before holding taking it in his hand. Rukia managed to find enough energy to give him a very soggy lopsided smile. He scowled back at her, then gradually smiled.

 

`I love you Ichigo Kurosaki.'

 

Ichigo kissed Rukia gently pulling her down beside him. They lay there holding each other close for some time, not saying anything. Rukia felt a measure of relief that the storm of anger seemed to be over. She spoke quietly.

 

`What do we do now, Ichigo?'

 

He kissed her again with a little more passion, flicking his tongue between her lips. She responded tentatively. His tongue firmly entered her mouth and she returned his kiss, letting their tongues touch. His hand moved to her breasts.

 

When the kiss finished, his breath a little husky Ichigo asked, `Well, you've stopped crying, haven't you?'

 

Rukia nodded. She did not feel like crying now. She felt a little of the earlier lust return. The kiss had reminded her how much she had enjoyed sex with him and his hands were arousing her even more.

 

`In most stories I've read, once people say they love each other, they kiss and seal their love. That sounds even crappier spoken aloud than when I read it somewhere.'

 

`Oh. Well, we've kissed. How do we do the other thing? Seal our love, to use your crappy quote?'

 

`Hey, my crappy quote is better than your crappy drawings, any day.'

 

Ichigo started taking off her pyjamas, kissing her body as it was gradually uncovered.

 

“Well, I've been thinking about positions I'd like to try. Or maybe we could just fuck. You told me earlier you had needs and you haven't had sex since you left Soul Society. I mean it's been so long and you need to make up for all the time you've missed. I'm ready. Remember, I'm a horny teenager with a permanent erection. See.'

 

Ichigo had finished removing her clothes and tossed the sheet aside to prove his statement. Rukia laughed.

 

She quickly pinned him down and kissed him. This time he let her take the lead. She nibbled gently on his lips and then let her tongue enter his mouth. While she kissed him, Ichigo hands explored her. Roaming from her breasts to her sides and down, but not at any time touching where she hoped his hands would go. It was as if he was teasing her. Noticing this, Rukia kept her hands and body away from his cock. If he was going to tease her, she would tease him. `Let's see who will break first,' she thought.

 

She moved down and started kissing his neck, licking and gently sucking. She didn't much care if she left marks. Actually she preferred to leave marks. That would really embarrass him at school and make a visible claim on him. She flicked her tongue against his Adam's apple and then bit the lobe of his ear gently.

 

Ichigo lay there, moaning slightly. It was obvious that his neck was very sensitive. She continued kissing and licking his neck, the power she had over his body turning her on even more. She glanced at his cock. It looked more erect than when he removed the sheet. She wanted to touch it, to taste it, to feel it enter her. She was so ready, but Ichigo was holding out on her. She wanted him to beg.

 

`Rukia, could you please stop,' Ichigo moaned. He was begging!

 

Rukia again licked his neck. `Why Ichigo? You seem to be enjoying it. You don't really want me to stop, do you?'

 

`But isn't it a bit one-sided Rukia? I thought you didn't like one sided sex. Anyway,'

He lunged, pinning her down and started kissing and licking her neck. He ran his tongue around her ears and then sucked the base of her neck, just where she had been paying the most attention on him.

 

`Darn,' she thought. `He worked out I like that.' Without meaning to she moaned.

 

Ichigo took his time, alternately licking, sucking and then kissing her neck. When her moans became louder Ichigo stopped for a moment.

 

`I read somewhere, that during foreplay, a person will usually pay most attention to the things that turn them on, so if someone sucks your nipples, they want you to suck their nipples. Obviously you like your neck kissed, but I like my suggestion, too.'

 

He moved down her body and licked first one nipple and then the other. He gently drew one nipple into his mouth, sucking gently and then gradually sucking harder. He released it and then ran his tongue from that breast to the other nipple and again sucked, this time nipping the nipple gently with his teeth.

 

`I wonder where he read about that. I didn't realise he read so much,' she thought, not very lucidly. `If only I could think of some way to make him give in.'

 

Rukia was slowly going out of her mind with desire. She wrapped her hand around his cock and moved it, slowly, along the shaft. He'd won without knowing it. Ichigo groaned, the vibration travelling through the nipple he had in his mouth.

 

`Very clever, Ichigo. Good book. I must read it one day,' she gasped. `But I have a lot of time to make up, as you said before.'

 

He looked at her and grinned. `Thought you'd never ask.'

 

As he positioned himself between her legs she refused to let go of his cock. She knew that it would not take much to make her come. As he entered her slowly, Rukia gazed into Ichigo's eyes watching them become heavy lidded and hot. His expression made her more aroused. The feeling of his cock pushing into her made her catch her breath. Once he had fully entered her, she tightened her legs around him to prevent him from moving.

 

`You always like it your way,' Ichigo muttered. `You wouldn't let me do that the first time.' Then he kissed her, teasing her gently with his tongue then thrusting his tongue between her lips. He was trying to tell her something.

 

As he kissed her Rukia's legs loosened enough for him to slowly withdraw, only to slowly thrust back all the way in. He was so hard and the movement was very erotic. He repeated the movement, this time sucking on her neck. The combination of the feeling of his long, hard cock moving in and out of her vagina and his lips on her neck was almost too much to bear, but Rukia wanted more.

 

`Faster, please faster, Ichigo,' she begged.

 

`Demanding female,' Ichigo said as he quickened his thrusts. He was still not moving fast enough, but the friction was building. She loved the way his cock moved, the way it felt as it penetrated her so deeply. Rukia arched up to meet his thrusts, feeling both his and her own excitement grow. She wanted to get on top to ride him, to come, but she knew this time he would make her come, with no assistance. Her pleasure was building fast as her breath became more uncontrolled. Ichigo was also losing control of his breathing.

 

“Ichigo, more, please don't stop. I'm nearly…..Ichigo,' she screamed his name as she came.

 

`Rukia,' he moaned his orgasm reaching its peak.

 

Once they regained their composure, they lay entwined, wrapped in each others arms, kissing.

 

`I told you I'd make you scream my name, Rukia.'

 

`You screamed mine, too.'

 

`But you screamed my name first. Admit it, I drive you wild. You can't get enough of me.'

 

`Yes, you drive me wild. I cannot get enough of you,' Rukia said deadpan in a monotone, and then she laughed as Ichigo tickled her.

 

`What time is it? Hell, 4.30 a.m. I don't care, Rukia. You're not getting any sleep until you tell me I drive you wild, but I've got to believe it.'

 

`You drive me wild, Ichigo. I can't get enough of you,' Rukia said.

 

`Good. Now remember that. Time to sleep.'

 

The slept together until morning.

Thank God she finally stopped crying. It was getting tedious.

 

Okay, there was romance. I don't know what I was thinking. Maybe I just realised that it was true, it was right, their love was meant to be… (Insert further stupid romantic clichés here). (e_o). Wanders away to look for something to restore sanity. No, can't find anything.

 

Hope it wasn't too predictable.

 

Next chapter: The other consequences of Kon's visit to Orihime. That should be even more amusing to write, in a masochistic sense. I just know Orihime's going to cry. Ichigo is going to have so much fun at school!