Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Daydreams Come True ❯ Focus of Attention ( Chapter 11 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters.

 

This chapter features more than one character's viewpoint.

 

Focus of Attention

 

Even though he had expected the sentence of execution, Renji was stunned. The gossip was correct. To hear his captain calmly tell Rukia, that she was sentenced to death was perhaps even more shocking than the sentence. Captain Kuchiki had shown no emotion, not even the slightest tinge of regret that his sister was to die.

 

Renji wished he could control his emotions like that.

 

Since the time he had visited Rukia with such disastrous results, Renji had not tried to see her. He'd tried not to think of her. He knew he had said the unforgivable thing and had been uncertain if he should try to talk to her. The fear of further rejection convinced him that it was better to wait, give her more time to grieve and hopefully forgive him. Now he regretted that he hadn't tried to heal the rift between them earlier. The time he could spend with her was so limited. His best friend and one night lover, was going to die, soon.

 

Hearing the sentence of execution passed on Rukia strengthened Renji's resolve to talk to her, make her listen to his apology. He waited until his captain uttered his last cruel words and left. Renji moved close to the bars.

 

`Rukia, I'm sorry,' he said quietly.

 

She ignored him.

 

`I said I'm sorry, Rukia,' Renji said, his voice a little louder.

 

Her back remained turned toward him. She gave no sign that she heard him or was even listening. Renji sighed. Rukia was probably not going to talk to him. Their long friendship was over. He felt a pain in his chest at the thought. His best friend hated him and she was going to die.

 

`Please, Rukia, talk to me. I apologise for the things I said. I wanted to tell you how I felt about you and couldn't see past myself. I was angry and stupid. I didn't think about how you might be feeling,' Renji implored. `I know I said the unforgivable thing. I'm sorry the boy is dead, as he meant so much to you. I'm sorry your brother has something other than blood in his veins. I'm sorry you're going to die, but most of all I'm sorry our friendship has been broken. All the years we spent as friends, supporting each other, protecting each other, should not be put aside just because of some stupid words. You know I love you, but your friendship means more to me than love. Can we be friends again?' Renji leant his forehead against the bars. `Forgive me.'

 

`I'm bored Renji.'

 

`Rukia?'

 

Rukia turned to face her brother's vice-captain.

 

`There's nothing to do here except think, or listen to gossip. I'm bored with my thoughts and I'm extremely bored with the conversation of the guards. One day they spent four hours discussing their favourite bun. I think my brain started to grow mushrooms, or maybe it stated to leak out my ears from listening to their tedious conversation. After they stopped discussing which bun they preferred, they argued about whose turn it was to go and buy buns for lunch. I tried to swallow my tongue just so I didn't have to listen to them any more. At least it's sort of interesting when they gossip. Tell me a joke or a story, but for the love of fighting don't talk about buns!'

 

`I don't know any jokes,' Renji protested.

 

`You are a joke,' Rukia stated. `You should know a joke.'

 

Renji scowled at her and thought for a few minutes. `Okay. How many shinigami from 11th Division would it take to break up a fight?'

 

Rukia shrugged.

 

`None. They don't break up fights, they make up fights,' Renji said.

 

Rukia put her face in her hands. `Please, talk about buns. I like buns with sweet bean paste. Or you could talk about how you chose your hairstyle. Anything. Just don't tell me another joke. That was absolutely the worst joke I have ever heard! Where did you hear that one?'

 

`I made it up,' Renji said offended.

 

`Never make up another joke and never repeat that one. Remember you were once a member of 11th Division. You could repeat it to Captain Zaraki or your friend Madarame, if you wanted a quick death,' Rukia advised.

 

`So, my jokes aren't good enough for you. I'll leave then,' Renji said moving toward the door.

 

`Please don't go Renji. I need a friend. I need you to be my friend,' Rukia said softly. Her face was full of sorrow.

 

`What?” Renji said surprised at her sincerity.

 

`I need a friend, Renji,' she repeated. `I've had a lot of time to think here and I've thought about our friendship. It would be hard to die and have no one care. My brother doesn't care. I think he'll be pleased when I die. The only real friend I have is you. I was angry with you for the words you said. I thought I would never be able to forgive you. They hurt so much. Then I realised that part of the pain I was feeling was because we were friends no longer. I know you were hurt too. It seems like we both wanted to hurt each other. I've missed you these last years since I was adopted. We have been closer than most siblings,' Rukia paused. `I forgive you for the words you said, Renji, but friendship if all I can offer. There can never be more than that between us. Too much has happened. I love you, I will always love you, but that love has changed. I love Ichigo and I will die loving him.'

 

Renji bent his head to hide his emotion. It was better than he'd hoped. He had realistically thought that Rukia would never forgive him; but his daydreams since their fight had included a declaration of love from her, without mention of the boy.

 

`Thank you, Rukia,' he said humbly.

 

`So will you help me escape?' Rukia asked with a weird expression on her face. She looked slightly manic.

 

`What? Escape from here? Are you crazy?'

 

`You call me crazy? Have you looked in the mirror recently? Those eyebrows make you look crazy. I'm sane,' insisted Rukia.

 

`I will not help you escape,' Renji said flatly.

 

`You've become very law abiding since you were promoted to vice-captain. No help from you. That will make it more of a challenge. I've always liked a challenge,' Rukia said reflectively, tapping a finger against her chin.

 

Rukia, be serious for a moment,' Renji implored.

 

`Serious? I am serious. I've heard the formal announcement of my execution and I'm seriously planning to escape. Dying doesn't fit into my plans,' Rukia said.

 

Renji was starting to lose his temper again. `Take it seriously. You can't escape. If you escaped, where would you go?'

 

`It doesn't matter. Forget I said anything,' Rukia seemed to lose interest and appeared despondent. `What does anything matter? We're born, we die, we're reborn in Soul Society and we die again. Is it a blessing to know when you are going to die? I think I'd prefer not to know. What happens after we die, Renji?' Rukia asked.

 

`I don't know, Rukia.' Sadness bathed his answer.

 

They were both silent as they contemplated the uncertainty of what took place after death. Was there heaven or hell? Or another world, without pain or death? Renji didn't want Rukia to die. He wanted her free, but he could not help her.

 

`What happens now, Renji?' Rukia asked seriously.

 

`I don't know,' he replied quietly.

 

They gazed at each other, uncertainly.

 

`I missed you, Rukia,' Renji began. `I wanted to talk to you, but I was advised that it was a bad idea.'

 

`I don't want to talk about the past, or the future. I don't have a future and the past hurts me. I only have the present,' Rukia interrupted. Her face twisted. It appeared she was trying to control her tears.

 

Renji said thoughtfully. `I don't want to talk about the present. It hurts me.'

 

`We'll have a great conversation then, won't we,' Rukia said lightly as she recovered her composure.

 

`You mean we can't have a conversation,' Renji stated.

 

`Can we talk about your eyebrows?' Rukia asked.

 

`No.'

 

Rukia studied Renji thoughtfully. `I preferred you without the tattoos,' she stated.

 

`I said I didn't want to talk about my eyebrows. That also means I don't want to talk about my tattoos,' Renji said defensively.

 

`What do you want to talk about?'

 

`I could tell you the gossip you missed out on while you were in the human world,' Renji suggested.

 

`I could tell you the gossip I've heard about you,' Rukia offered.

 

Renji looked surprised. `What gossip? I haven't done anything.'

 

`According to the gossip I heard, that's exactly it. Since you became a vice-captain, you've become boring,' Rukia teased. `People can't discuss your sexual exploits anymore.'

 

`I'm not boring. I am just trying to maintain the dignity of 6th Division,' Renji protested.

 

Rukia laughed. `I never thought I'd hear Renji Abarai use the word dignity,' she scoffed. `Dignity and your eyebrows shouldn't be in the same room.'

 

Renji lost his temper. `Stop talking about my eyebrows. It's becoming an obsession with you. One more word about them and I'll go.'

 

`Okay, okay. I won't mention your eyebrows again. Do you have tattoos all over your body? Can I see?' Rukia asked.

 

Renji shot Rukia an evil look. `That's it,' he said as he stormed out.

 

`Will you be back later?' he heard Rukia call after him.

 

As he slammed the door, Renji knew that Rukia had continued to tease him on purpose. She wanted to reconcile with him, but the formal announcement of her execution had distressed her and she wanted time alone to adjust. He understood, but wished she'd just asked him to leave. He leant against the door as he looked across Sereitei to the execution site. He wouldn't let Rukia die. He'd have to find some way to save her.

 

Renji wandered off in search of his captain. He didn't want to see him, but felt duty bound to find out if there was anything his captain required.

 

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Chad was feeling uncertain. The training had been hard. Orihime managed to summon her powers so quickly. He'd begun to wonder if he'd ever get the knack. He sometimes felt that Mr Yoruichi felt the same. The cat lost patience with him more than once.

 

Being trained by a talking cat in order to go to a spirit world was not what he had expected for the holidays, but at least he wasn't bored. Tired, confused, occasionally annoyed at how long it took to master a power that was new to him; he'd experienced all these feelings, but not boredom. These last few months had not been boring at all. Chad never thought to ask why all these strange events were occurring. Questioning the source of the change would not prevent anything from happening. Chad did not bother trying to find an answer. Sometimes the need to stay alive overrode the need for rationalisation. Next he'd begin to question why he was being trained by a talking cat, or why the cat could talk.

 

Chad never questioned his decision to accompany Ichigo. They had fought together, depended on each other. If Ichigo needed someone to watch his back he would be there. It wasn't just gratitude to Ichigo for befriending him; it was from a deep friendship and loyalty. It would be interesting to visit a world he hadn't known existed.

 

If Ichigo was going to save Rukia, he was going to help. Maybe he could learn to employ his new power more effectively if he used it against a person, rather than a wall. Tomorrow was the start of the adventure. He was having trouble sleeping. Maybe he would go for a walk.

 

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Prepared for sleep, Orihime lay restlessly in her bed tossing from one side to another as thoughts flowed through her mind. She must sleep. She had to be fresh for tomorrow. Even though she had gone to bed early her thoughts made it difficult to relax into sleep. Finally, she let her thoughts take control. If she thought it all through maybe her brain would allow her to rest.

 

The revelation of her powers had surprised Orihime. She was pleased that she had managed to use her powers to save her friends. Seeing Tatsuki controlled by the hollow had made her feel anger she had not known before. The experience of defeating a hollow had made her admire Ichigo even more. He was fighting those things to protect other people without expecting anything in return. If she could, she would give him everything in return.

 

Since the holidays began she had not had the opportunity to watch Ichigo, but she still thought of him. Training with Chad had distracted her a little, but always in the back of her mind was the image of Ichigo. She knew that part of his determination to save Rukia was because he loved her. Even so her love for Ichigo had not gone away,

 

She still hoped that her daydreams would come true. Orihime did not want any harm to befall Rukia; she just wished things were different.

 

Uryu had visited her twice at home since the day that Kon was unmasked as the fake Ichigo. He had not tried to kiss her again and he did not speak of his feelings. Instead they had just talked generally as they sipped tea. She had begun to feel less uncomfortable in his company. Perhaps she expected another declaration, but Uryu was circumspect, almost aloof. She felt his eyes upon her at school, but aside from that he did not act any differently.

 

Sometimes she remembered the feeling of his lips on hers. If only it had been Ichigo who kissed her! Briefly she remembered that night when she thought Ichigo had visited her. Even though it was Kon in Ichigo's body, it had been Ichigo's lips on hers, Ichigo's hands touching her. Sometimes she tried to convince herself it had been Ichigo who had visited her, not Kon. This fantasy never lasted. Reality broke the daydream. Each time she tried to believe, she remembered seeing Ichigo and Rukia together, the way they looked at each other. She also remembered the small doubts she had experienced when Ichigo visited her. She had been so frantic to believe that Ichigo chose to kiss her that she had dismissed any of her suspicions.

 

If only they could swap. Rukia with Uryu and Ichigo with her. Orihime smiled ruefully. That would not happen. Eventually she might love Ichigo less, but that time was not yet.

 

`Am I excited or scared about going to Soul Society? I will be spending more time with Ichigo, so I suppose I'm excited. I wonder what it will look like. How long it will take to save Rukia? Tomorrow, we're going tomorrow. It's so hard to sleep. What should I wear? It's always difficult to decide when you're going somewhere new. I don't suppose it matters. Something practical. I wonder what Ichigo will wear. Whatever it is, I'm sure I'll like it. Oh, but it doesn't matter because he will be wearing that shinigami outfit. I wonder if it would be difficult to wear. Does he ever wash it? How could he wash it? Maybe I could offer to wash it for him. I hope I spend some time with him, alone.'

 

Fantasising about Ichigo, Orihime fell into a disturbed sleep.

 

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Uryu made the final adjustments to his outfit. He would be proud to wear the Quincy uniform in Soul Society. How could he be other than proud to be a Quincy? He checked to make certain he had forgotten nothing. The unknown awaited him.

 

He banished any fears or nervous thoughts. Through his solitary training the seed of ambition to become better than Ichigo had burst open and flourished. Not that he had any doubt that he was already better than Ichigo. The problem was most people did not realise his superiority.

 

Orihime did not.

 

She still watched Ichigo at school. She still smiled at Ichigo whenever he looked in her direction.

 

Occasionally Uryu would glance at Orihime, just to receive pleasure from seeing the curve of her cheek, the delicate colour of her face. He had resisted the urge to visit her more than twice. Often walking home from school he would find his feet led him to her apartment. He resisted the lure. She still needed time to recover from her misplaced feelings for Ichigo. He would be subtle in his approach, slowly making her comfortable near him. Once she was comfortable with him, he could begin to replace Ichigo in her affections.

 

The two occasions he had visited her at home, she had mentioned Ichigo a number of times with that dream ridden look on her face. It took a great amount of control for Uryu not to remind Orihime that Ichigo was in love with Rukia. He had fought his desire to kiss her again, feel her body close to his; the desire for her lips to meet his whilst they were engaged in a passionate embrace was too alluring. Every time his thoughts strayed to that hope, he sipped the tea, holding it in his mouth to prevent any ill advised words or actions. It was quite painful as the tea was hot.

 

He'd felt sorely tempted to participate in the training with her and Chad, but knew that he had to concentrate. Her presence would only interrupt his ability to focus on his training. Uryu recognised he needed total concentration to master the Quincy powers he required.

 

He had mastered the powers. He knew that he was stronger than before, maybe even stronger than Ichigo. His uniform was more stylish than the dull black the shinigami wore. Why couldn't Orihime accept that he was the better choice?

 

Sometimes he wondered at her fixation on Ichigo. Was it because the colour of their hair formed some sort of strange bond? They had both suffered from other people attacking them for that difference. Yet people had victimised him because he was intelligent, sewed and wore glasses. Not that he paid much attention. Holding himself aloof seemed to work best. If people did not receive a reaction, they eventually left him alone.

 

Maybe he could spend more time with Orihime when they were on this mission to save Rukia. He'd heard that relationships could form quickly under stressful situations. If Orihime could see his positive reactions to difficult and deadly events maybe she would admire him. If he could prove his worth in these situations maybe Orihime would see his true worth.

 

It was his decision to proceed on this mission to save Rukia. He liked Rukia. She was sensible, but not sensible enough. Why she had fallen in love with Ichigo was something he could not comprehend.

 

After one final check, Uryu prepared for bed. As he leant over to turn out the light he felt slightly excited. Tomorrow it would all begin.

 

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`I will see Rukia soon. Not soon enough. I wish I could understand the dreams I've had. I've dreamt of her at least 3 times. I hope I dream of her tonight. It's not as good as having sex with her in reality, but it's better than masturbating. Those dreams always seem to start with a time we've had sex, usually the last time, but then it all changes. The dream changes. She seems to think that she's remembering the past while I feel that it's happening now. She thinks I'm dead. I wish I could prove to her I'm not dead. I wish I knew if these dreams were real. What am I thinking? How can a dream be real?'

 

Ichigo lay on his back with his hands behind his head. He felt tired from fighting Urahara. The method by which Urahara had restored his shinigami powers still disturbed him. Whether he was ready for this or not, he had to save Rukia. In his dreams she was so sad. Sexy as hell, but sad. Once she'd cried in his arms during sex, saying over and over that she wished he wasn't dead. He preferred it when she was insulting him, or insisting she get on top, or demanding that he pay more attention to her needs. That was what he expected from Rukia. Not the tears and the unbearable sadness.

 

Were they really communicating? Were they really having sex? After the dreams he'd felt less horny than normal when he woke up. He couldn't find any evidence on the sheets that anything had happened. There were no marks on his bodies; he'd checked both of them. There was nothing to indicate that the dreams were real.

 

He just believed they were, hoped they were. Not that he hoped that Rukia was sad, or crying, but he wanted the reassurance that she still loved him; still thought of him. He wanted to be with her and dry her tears. More than anything, he had to save her. It was not an option to allow her execution to proceed. Rukia could not die. No matter what it took he would save her and bring her back to the human world.

 

Shifting in the bed, trying to find a more comfortable position, Ichigo tried to decide if he was excited or concerned. He yawned. Journeying to Soul Society was something he had to do, but the uncertainty of what would happen disturbed him. He let his mind drift.

 

He wasn't in bed. He wasn't in his bedroom. Ichigo looked around. Maybe he'd fallen asleep and was dreaming. It appeared he wasn't going to dream about Rukia, because he'd never been in this place before. At least he didn't think so. There was not much to see. As he waited his surroundings became clearer.

 

He appeared to be in a cell. There were bars all around. It was night and there was not much light. Looking outside there did not appear to be any guards. Ichigo looked around, curled up on the floor was a person. He moved closer and knelt down to take a closer look. It was Rukia!

 

`This must be a dream. I'm imagining that I'm with Rukia. Should I wake her? Maybe not, she looks tired,' he thought.

 

Rukia stirred and brushed against him. Her touch changed his mind.

 

`This is a dream after all,' he thought as he bent down to kiss her.

 

As his lips met hers he felt a shock. This felt like he was really kissing Rukia. Her lips were soft and she began to kiss him back. Her arms encircled his shoulders as he continued to kiss him.

 

He pulled back to look at her and Rukia opened her eyes slowly.

 

`Another dream?' she murmured to herself. `I dreamt Ichigo was here and I was kissing him.'

 

As her eyes fully opened she sat up and looked at Ichigo. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

 

`I must really be losing my mind. The day I'm told that I will be executed, I dream about Ichigo kissing me and wake up to find him in my cell with me. That's impossible, because Ichigo is dead. My brother killed him.' Rukia shut her eyes tightly.

 

Ichigo reached out and touched her cheek. `I keep telling you I'm not dead,' he said gently. `I think I'm dreaming about you in a cell. I've dreamt of you three times but this is the first time I've been here.'

 

Rukia opened one eye and looked at him as one of her hands covered the hand touching her cheek. `You feel like Ichigo and you sound like him. But Ichigo is dead. You must be a dream.'

 

`Okay I'm in your dream and you are in my dream,' Ichigo agreed.

 

`Why aren't we having sex?' Rukia asked.

 

`What?'

 

`Ever time I've dreamt of you we were having sex,' Rukia explained. `Why aren't we having sex now?'

 

`That's strange. Every time I dreamt of you we had sex. If you really want to I can oblige,' Ichigo started to remove his shirt.

 

`Yes, Ichigo would do something like that,' Rukia said to herself.

 

He paused. `Do you want to have sex?' he asked.

 

Rukia reached across and placed her palm on his chest over his heart. `Yes and no,' she said. `I find the idea of having sex in a cell a turn off, and the knowledge that I'm going to die within 25 days also has a dampening effect. On the other hand I want to feel close to you, even though you are only a dream.'

 

Ichigo sidled near to her and pulled her to him. Her head rested on his chest, as both Ichigo's arms held her. He bent and kissed her hair, feeling so much love and compassion for the woman he held in his arms. Holding her in his dream made him miss her more. Whether this was a dream or reality, she needed his strength and he wanted to be gentle with her. Never before had he thought of Rukia as fragile, but now he feared if he held her too tightly, it might cause her pain.

 

`I try not to be scared, Ichigo, but I am scared,' she softly said. `Maybe if I die I will be with you again.'

 

`I keep telling you I'm not dead.'

 

`You feel warm and alive, but you would in a dream. I don't normally get this much sensation in dreams, except the dreams I've had about you. Kiss me, please Ichigo.'

 

Rukia raised her face to his and Ichigo kissed her mouth gently.

 

`You don't normally kiss me like that. Where were the tongues and the passion?'

 

`I love you Rukia. I've told you before, it's not just sex. Please listen to what I have to say. I'm coming to Soul Society. I leave tomorrow. Trust me, Rukia, I will save you. You will not die and we will be together again.'

 

Rukia was slowly shaking her head. `You can't come to Soul Society, it's not possible. Even if you're not dead you are no longer a shinigami. My brother made sure of that. How would you get here?'

 

Tears dripped down Rukia's face. Overcome by sorrow, Ichigo kissed her cheeks tenderly. `Believe that I will come for you Rukia. Remember, I love you, only you.'

 

The dream began to dissolve as he said these words. He woke up. The alarm had woken him. It was 12.55 am. As he turned off the alarm Ichigo shook his head. There wasn't time to think about the dream. It was time to open the window.

 

Author's Note:

 

I vehemently deny the suggestion that I am obsessed by buns. (Not that anyone has suggested it, yet.) Just because I've mentioned them in the last few chapters does not an obsession make. I haven't had a bun for ages. Honestly. No, that is not a bun in my hand, it's a...... Quick look over there. (Sounds of ferocious munching.)

 

This chapter is different to the previous ones as I wanted to move the story ahead a little. Finally Chad is featured, very, very, briefly. Maybe he will get a chapter to himself later, maybe not.

 

Thank you to the kind people who have reviewed this story so far. I enjoyed writing the chapter about Gin. He was a bit of a challenge as it's hard to work out his motivation.

 

Next chapter? A Captain from one of the 13 Divisions may be featured, but which one? (Of course, the plan may change.)

 

Please review.

 

MS