Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Forgiven ❯ My December ( Chapter 1 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

Discliamer: Kubo owns Bleach. I don't mind owning bleach if he offered.

Lyrics are by linkin park.

Summary: Fate is cruel; a lesson Ichigo learns the hard way when he discovers that his drunk self slept with the same woman he'd been trying to avoid for 3 long years. will he keep on avoiding her, or will he confess the sin that had caused him stay out of her life?

Chapter 1:

" Tell me your name"

" Why would you wanna know my name?"

" It's not like me to sleep with someone I don't know. I want to know your name at least."

" You could always walk away… "

" I can't walk away from someone as hot as you."

" The name is Rukia"

" Ichigo"

Her eyes fluttered open, slowly taking in her surroundings. It was a strange place; one she had never seen in her entire life. Her head felt heavy with sleep, and undeniably a headache. She tried to remember how she ended up here, but nothing came to her mind. The place was dark, warm, and she could tell by the sound of the light drops on the window pane that it was raining.

She tried getting up, but there was something restraining her, and keeping her tied to the bed. Her hands reached for that thing only to discover that it was someone's arm! Her eyes shot open at the realization. she struggled to sit up, and managed after a few tries to draw herself away from the sleeping person next to her. Judging by whatever she managed to see, he was naked…and so was she.

It all rushed back to her head at once!

Last night, she had a fight with Kaien's cosine over the same old issue. It had always been like this whenever Hinamori came to visit. She would spend a few weeks with her until they visit Kaien's grave. Unable to stand the logic of Hinamori's reasoning, she would leave and drink herself to oblivion. But it never happened. She never ended up sleeping with someone she never knew.

The raven haired woman tried to look at the sleeping stranger next to her. she could see his face clearly whenever the ray of lightning filled up the room. He was the same person she spent the entire night drinking with. But she never thought they would end up at a motel room...in a bed!

She held her head in her hands and tried to think on what to do now. she can't even remember the name of this person. The only thing she could do for now was to get back home and pretend that whatever happened last night never occurred. After all, it was highly doubtful that she would meet this person again. It was even more doubtful that he would remember her name, or how she looked like.

Her eyes scanned the floor, trying to locate her clothes. It was then that she noticed how messy the room was. Her clothes were probably scattered all over the place, and it would take her a while to recollect them in all that darkness. She could not turn the lights on for fear that he might wake up and complicate the matter more than it already was.

She managed to put her clothes on after searching for them for so long, and left the room. It was almost dawn. Hinamori must be worried about her by now, and it was highly doubtful that she would let her off the hook that easily without plaguing her with questions on where she had been this entire time. of course, telling her that she slept with a stranger whom she did not even know his name would cause her to glue herself to her side all the more. Hinamori was after all trying to take care of her after Kaien died.

Only she knew about the details surrounding Kaien's death. Out of his over caring nature, he joined some suspicious people with quite a reputation. He told her that it would be only temporary and that there was nothing she should worry about. However, this temporary period led to his death. According to the police, Kaien was caught in a crossfire, and died at the hands of one of their own. They apologized and tried asking her about his relations to those people, but since she was already consumed with the agony of loss, she refused to talk to them. she made it clear to them that she would not talk with the ones who murdered Kaien. In reality, she did not want to distort his memory by associating him with those people. The media took her side, and so the police did not bring the matter up to her again.

Kaien was all she lived for. He died for her. This fact did not help her out one bit. Ending her life was not an option since she did not feel that it was hers in the first place. She felt indebted to Kaien. It felt as if he had given his soul to her, and letting go of this soul was not her decision to make. Living in spite of her well made her feel guilty. She felt guilty because she was the reason he died. She felt guilty because she could not live the life he had chosen for her. And tonight, her sleeping with another man made her feel even more guilty.

It was still two weeks away from December the ninth, the day in which Kaien died. The weather would always add to her gloominess. It would get cloudy almost daily, and rain would drizzle almost non-stop. A weather like that would force her to confine herself to her own room, alone, cold, and numb unable to feel anything. Then, as in every year since Kaien passed away, she would surrender to sleep to pluck her out from her momentary dull, cold hours. she did not mind passing her days like that, Hinamori however, would not let her. she would always nag about how she was shutting herself from the world and away from any social contact, and how that would not do her any good.

Tonight was different, however. It was the first time she had ever allowed someone to join her for a drink. She was probably already drunk by the time that stranger came along. They say misery loves company. That stranger seemed to be as shattered as her. she could tell even though she was not sober enough. This so-called social contact led her to the most drastic irresponsible act she had ever done in her entire life. Though fragments of what transpired last night flashed in her head every now and then, she would forcibly shut the memory.

When she made it back home, she found Hinamori sleeping on a couch. She must have dozed off while she was waiting for her return. Rukia tried to shut the door as gently as possible, but years of un-attending to her apartment as she should be caused the door to screech. The young girl woke up with a start and started looking around her frantically, only to find Rukia standing in the doorway with an apologetic look. She just sat their and eyed Rukia, then she spoke softly: " You're back!"

" Tadaima"

Hinamori rose and walked towards Rukia, then she hugged her: " I'm sorry. I know I said too much."

The raven haired woman's hands went around Hinamori, and whispered: " It's okay."

Hinamori pulled a little from Rukia, trying to see if she was okay or not. Rukia's expression however, was unreadable. After Rukia left earlier yesterday, Hinamori tried looking for her, but could not find her anywhere. And since Rukia was the secretive type, she could not tell exactly where she would usually go if she were feeling down. It made her worry, specially that their argument had to do with the same old issue that marked a drastic change in Rukia. Hinamori tried explaining herself to Rukia, hoping that she would understand that whatever she said was out of concern: " Rukia-chan…you're being too hard on yourself. I was only hoping…"

Rukia's calm reply cut her short: " Momo-chan, we're not going to have this conversation again. "

" But…"

Rukia pushed the concerned girl aside gently, and went to her room, answering her in the same calm tone: " I understand that you're only trying to help. I'm just not ready yet. Okay? Now if you'd excuse me, I need to take a shower."

There was something different about her; Hinamori could tell, but she did not know what it was exactly. Without thinking, she blurted out the first question that came to her mind: " Rukia-chan…where have you been all this time?"

However, her question went unnoticed…

He would certainly be in trouble if he did not make it in time today. staying late to drink last night, and waking up in a motel room with the worst headache ever were not helping one bit. Of course, he did not remember the mysterious woman who slept with him last night. She was not even around when he woke up. He did not care at the moment. What mattered the most right now was to get his ass to his office on time.

He made it to his desk barely catching his breath, and threw himself on his chair, breathing heavily; only to find Renji hovering over him with a scowl on his face. He knew already what that scowl was all about, but he chose to ignore it.

The red haired man did not like being ignored and so he chose to put the question directly to his friend: " What took you so long?"

" I drank too much last night and I woke up with the worst hangover ever."

It was obvious judging by how he looked that he was at the depression point. Though he admitted that the experience orange top gone through was too difficult to get over, he did not spare his friend obvious compassion. It was Renji's way of forcing his friend to pull himself back together. It had not helped much, but at least, his friend was making some progress.

The red haired man threw the file he was holding on Ichigo's desk to gain his attention, then he cleared his throat, preparing to tell his friend the unavoidable truth: " We found someone who could help us with Gin."

Ichigo did not like the look on his friend's face. He thought that he was trying to deliver some bad news, but he found nothing wrong with what he just said. Ichimaru Gin was the person he was trying to arrest for three long years. However, no sufficient evidence of his involvement was found so far. Finding a person who would know something about Gin was good news, but he could tell from the look on his friend's face that there was a catch or something. Ichigo narrowed his eyes and asked: " Who might that person be?"

Renji eyed his friend for a minuet, trying to think of a suitable way to say what he had to say. Then he spoke: " I don't think you'd wanna know, but I have no choice. It's the same person you have been avoiding these entire three years."

Ichigo's eyes grew wide in a mixture of surprise and fear. He must have heard him wrong. There was no way Renji would mean the same person he'd been trying hardly to forget these entire three years. He stood up immediately, and walked away from his friend to the window, trying to digest what was just said to him. Then he felt his friend's hold on his shoulder, and knew that he was trying to comfort him. He tried to say something to his friend to mask his obvious discomfort, but could not bring himself to say anything. There was no way he would meet her now. It was enough that the previous incident caused an everlasting impact on his life. It threatened his inner peace; it robbed him of sleep countless nights; it would have even cost him his own job had it not been for Renji.

The only words he could say in reply now were muttered with great difficulty: : " I can't face her."

Renji knew what was going on in his friend's head. He was not going to spare him any sympathy however. To him, Ichigo needed to confront this person in order to move on: "We have been trying to put Gin in jail for years, and now that we've finally found a person who could help us out, you're going to run away?"

" I'm not running away. Why should I go when you can question her in my place?"

" Kurosaki, you shot him to protect me. Get over it!"

For some reason, hearing Renji talk about that again made him wince. No matter how much he tried believing Renji's words, his guilt did not waver away the slightest bit. The fact still remains that he killed an innocent soul. His arm went up to rest on the window as his head fell in defeat: " His gun was not even loaded"

It was all dÃ©jÃ vu to Renji, and so he muttered the same reply he had been saying to this particular statement for years: " You didn't know that. Besides…"

" The first time you questioned her, she said that she did not even know the guy. And even if she had some info now, she's not going to talk to the same cop who shot her fiancÃ©."

Orange top was clearly saying that Renji should go in his place. However, the red haired man would have non of it. The woman did not even know him: " She doesn't know that it's you. we told her that Shiba was caught in a crossfire and that's it. "

" Renji…"

" No! you're coming. Facing her might help you get over your fear."

" I'm over it already."

Renji knew perfectly well that Ichigo was still unable to use his gun ever since that incident. He had covered for him for more than two years now. He even convinced their superiors that Ichigo was perfectly fine to get back to his job. He had to do it to keep his friend occupied. It was the debt he needed to pay for Kurosaki. But at the same time, having his friend back without having him work on getting over his fear was plaguing him. It was up to him to bring the old Kurosaki back, he thought: " Kurosaki, you're still not over your fear. The only one who knows that is me. And if the chief got wind of this, you'll be put on probation again."

Renji grabbed his friend's coat and threw it at him causing Ichigo to jerk back from his thoughts. Ichigo turned around and found his friend already at the door. It looked like he had no other choice but to follow him.

He was filled with worry over his meeting with that woman. Though he was not confident enough that he would be able to look her in the eye and talk to her like nothing happened, he had to admit that it was about time he got over his fear. He was staring out the window, trying to take his mind off thinking, but it did not help. Each road sign reminded him that he was getting closer and closer to the dreadful meeting. It did not take them that long to make it to their destination.

What would he do now? How should he react? What would he say if she broke down? Why would he have to be the one to remind her of her loss now after three long painful years?

When the incident first accrued, he could not see her. He was too shaken to come up with a single coherent phrase. They told him that it was not his fault. There was no way he would know that Shiba's gun was loaded. Shiba had it pointed at Renji's head. He had to act fast. He did not know that his gun was not even loaded.

Renji got out of the car, and had to wait for his friend to pull himself out as well. It took him a moment to gather up his courage. He would leave the talking to Renji. After all, Renji was the one who usually did the talking. Ichigo was better at reading people. yes, the meeting is not going to take long anyways. she would surely refuse to talk to them just like she used to. With this in mind, he got out of the car, and marched before Renji, determined to get over and done with this.

It took them a moment before an all too familiar voice asked them to wait. He was sure that he had heard this voice before even when he was too occupied with thinking, but he could not tell to whom it belonged. The door was opened slowly, revealing with it the petite woman who was standing by it.

Ichigo could not help but stare in confusion…

The face that met him by the door was a face he never thought he would see again. And judging by the woman's reaction, she seemed to remember him as well.

Why of all the women in town did he end up sleeping with the same woman he was trying to avoid for three years?

This is my December, this is my time of the year
This is my December, this is all so clear This is my December , this is my snow covered home
This is my December this is me alone
And I Just wish that I didn't feel
Like there was something I missed
And I Take back all the things I said
To make you feel like that
And I give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away
To have someone to come home to

Author's notes:

As usual, the idea plauged my sleep, something that occures whenever I have tons of assignments and exams. and since I suffur from an over sleep problem which prevents me from staying awake for more than one hour, I ignord my assignments to spill these thoughts. Enjoy!

should I continue this? what do you think will happen?

continuing depends on your reviews my dear lovely readers.

take care