Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Hollow Charm ❯ Twisted Destiny ( Chapter 7 )

Tite Kubo owns Bleach. I just borrowed the characters.

 

Twisted Destiny

 

As Rukia hurried away to the human world, Orihime felt uncertain and scared. The Arrancar had returned and she had to wait. Her anxiety besieged her, making her believe that time was not passing at all. She wanted to be there, to help the others, to see Ichigo again. In her mind she knew that Ichigo would emerge from his training to fight against the Arrancar. They were part of the reason he was training so hard. That, and the Hollow who was trying to take control. She wanted to return and show Urahara that she could fight, she wasn't a liability, but a help. To show Chad and Renji that she did not require their pity. Most of all she wanted to see Ichigo again, to gain some assurance that he had regained control; that he had forgiven her for rousing the Hollow.

 

She paced back and forth as she waited. It was taking too long. Her friends could need her right now and she was stuck in Seireitei waiting for the Dangai passageway to be stable enough for her to use. If only Rukia had allowed her to accompany her.

 

“I must be patient. Everyone has been so helpful and kind. I shouldn't be thinking these bad thoughts. I must be positive. I'll be back with my friends, with Ichigo, soon. Why is it taking so long? Can't they speed it up? Isn't it 15 minutes already? I'm pleased Rukia and Renji are friends again. Is it more than friends? I saw him hug her. I wonder if anything else happened. Not that it's my business. It's not my business. I won't think about it anymore. I'm sure he kissed her. I know he did. She looked so happy. I said I wasn't going to think about it and I'm thinking about it again. I will stop thinking about it. I wonder if they'll get married. It's probably too soon for them to tell. Hope I'm invited. I wonder what a Shinigami wedding is like. I'm thinking about them again. I know why. If I think about them, I don't think about Ichigo or the Arrancar or the Hollow. I wonder if I'll see Ichigo soon. Am I strong enough to fight the Arrancar, or will I be in the way? I can't distract Ichigo. I must make sure that I don't give the Hollow any chance to try to take over. Why am I even thinking about this? I want to be with Ichigo. I want all of this to be over and life to return to normal. Can life ever return to normal? Normal would be before Ichigo met Rukia. Normal would mean I didn't have any powers and Ichigo didn't have a Hollow. Normal would mean no Arrancars, no fear. But then I would have missed out on getting to know Ichigo so well. I wouldn't have spent time with Chad and Uryu. Rukia wouldn't be my friend. The charm, I would never have used the charm because I wouldn't have the charm. Ichigo may never have kissed me or told me he cared. My brother would still be dead and he would still be a Hollow. It has to be this way. I can't change the past, well not anymore and after that experience, I'm not sure I want to have the power. Loving Ichigo, getting to know him better. That is what is important. Being there for him. I want this to be over. If he could hold me in his arms again, I won't ask anything more. I didn't know I would love this deeply. Does he love me? Does it matter? Even if he doesn't love me I will continue to love him. I can't stop the love, nor do I want to. I think I was barely living until I loved him. He's given my life meaning. He gave me my powers. I know he didn't mean to, but he did, all the same.”

 

With unseeing eyes, Orihime gazed across the scene in front of her. She did not see the green fields where Rukia had trained her, nor the faces of the people who walked past. The buildings of Seireitei were obscured. All she could see was Ichigo. Visions of his face passed through her mind. Ichigo smiling, scowling and looking at her with desire. It was that last image she wanted to savour. She wished he would look at her like that again.

 

Those hours in the hotel had not swayed her feelings. If anything, her love for Ichigo was stronger. He had not tried to force her. He had kissed her so sweetly. His touch had only made her desire him more. She coloured slightly remembering her behaviour, but Ichigo had not rejected her. He hadn't been shocked by her passion. Returning to the real world meant returning to Ichigo. Whether he had controlled his Hollow or not was immaterial. No matter the obstacles placed in her path, she would continue to love Ichigo. If he requested anything, she would try to co-operate. She wanted to belong to him, even in a transitory way.

 

His eyes had become darker with passion, she remembered. Never before had she seen such a look of intensity on his face. At the same time, it made her shy. It might take a very long time before he managed to control the Hollow. Even if she saw Ichigo, it would be best if she stayed her distance. Rousing the Hollow would only hurt Ichigo and make him dislike her. She had suspicions that maybe Ichigo resented her because of the reaction of the Hollow.

 

For a brief moment she allowed herself to remember her first sight of Ichigo, even though that memory tore at her soul. She had first seen Ichigo the night her brother had died. If she was acting in a logical manner she should hate the sight of him, as he was a reminder of her brother's untimely death. The orange hair, the blood from her brother's wounds, the harsh light of the fluorescent. Any one else would avoid Ichigo as a reminder of the worst moments of her life.

 

Ichigo had been there, but she had not known him, had not recognised him consciously at school. It was only later that she realised who he was, who he had been. That faceless, nameless person who could not help her brother. No one that night had retained a real form, or face. Everything had become unreal in her memory, like a badly remembered nightmare.

 

Yet, Ichigo was also the instrument of her brother's redemption.

 

She paced again. This was the longest fifteen minutes she could remember this year. Was she sure it was fifteen minutes and not fifteen hours? How could she tell? Her watch told her 7 minutes had passed, but did time pass the same way in Soul Society as it did in the human world?

 

Now she had Tsubaki healed she could use him as a weapon. She would try out the most recent suggestion made by Rukia that she combined the shield with the attack in order to protect Tsubaki. It was a good strategy. Rukia had promised to teach her some kido if they had time. Unfortunately there had not been enough time. Kido fascinated Orihime. She has seen it used and knew that Uryu was proficient in its practice, but until now it had seemed so far beyond her abilities. With Rukia's help she was gaining confidence. It was not possible that she would ever be as strong as Ichigo, but she might one day be strong enough to help him. Rukia had assured her that she would be happy to fight alongside her. That comment had made Orihime smile with relief. It was not possible that Rukia had said that just to make her feel better.

 

“No need to be impatient. You will return to your friends soon. Time passes as it will. We have no control over it.” A quiet voice interrupted her thoughts. Captain Ukitake had returned.

 

She turned to face him. “I'm scared.” The words escaped her unintentionally.

 

“Of course you are. But you are also brave. You chose the more difficult path, by deciding to train. When you return, you must hold onto your determination. Don't allow anyone to make you feel inferior.” He smiled at her kindly.

 

“I can't believe you've ever been scared. You're an adult, a captain.” Orihime had trouble believing that a person with such an exalted position could feel anything like fear.

 

“We all feel fear at some time. Those who say they do not, lie. We conceal our fear, because to admit it appears weak.” Captain Ukitake's eyes took on a far away look as he spoke.

 

“Captain Zaraki would never feel terror. I don't believe it. He is one person who would probably try to fight Death, for fun.” Orihime was sure that there were some people who could never experience alarm.

 

“Ah, Captain Zaraki is a special case. I don't think I could begin to understand his feelings.” Captain Ukitake smiled at her. “I will say farewell, for I believe the Dangai passageway is ready for you now. Until we meet again.”

 

Orihime turned and noticed that the passageway was indeed awaiting her. She went toward it quickly. She did not experience the same fear walking through the passage as the first two times. It seemed odd that she was being escorted, almost as if she was being honoured in some manner.

 

How does it feel when your dreams are shattered? What is the reaction when your hopes are taken from you in an instant? How can you react when your choices are removed? What can you say when you are allowed no words? Who can you ask for help if there can be no assistance? If it the choice between your life and the lives of your friends, what is the noble option?

 

These questions beat at Orihime's brain as her predicament was explained to her by the Arrancar, who did not bother to tell her his name. She remembered seeing him before, on that day when Chad had been hurt. The day Ichigo had visited to apologise. The day he had kissed her properly for the first time. She shut her eyes and took a deep breath. This was the Arrancar who had watched while the other one fought. He had called her `trash'. She remembered that the big brutish one had said this one's name. What was that name? Ulquiorra! That was his name.

 

As he continued to talk, the emotions she experienced at his words made her question so much. She could not sacrifice her friends. The foundation of her world shifted dramatically, and she clutched at any means to retain her balance; for some reason she was important to Aizen, but only at a base level. He wanted to own her.

 

Had someone studied her? Had they been spying on her? Ulquiorra knew which people she was closest to, the ones that she would do anything to protect. Were they watching those moments in the hotel? She felt the colour rise to her cheeks. Suddenly she straightened. She was not ashamed of her actions. She had been with the person she loved. If it had not been for the interruption she would belong to Ichigo.

 

It was foolish of her to think like this. These thoughts made it seem like people could own each other if they'd had sex. That wasn't right. If two people loved each other and had sex, it meant nothing. If they'd had sex she would not belong to him. It would have been a memory, precious and sweet, but what they had shared was no less precious or sweet.

 

After Ulquiorra had completed his instructions, she returned home. It was deserted. She did not know where Matsumoto was. 12 hours. Such a short time to say farewell. It would not be possible. Her mind was confused with the change of destiny.

 

There was really only one choice. No matter how much she told herself she would like to say good-bye to Tatsuki, or Rukia, Uryu or Chad, she wanted to see Ichigo more. It would be the last time.

 

As she sat alone, her feelings were confused. She wanted so much to spend as much of the last 12 hours being with Ichigo, but on her terms. He would not know she was there. Why had this time been given to her? It seemed as if the Arrancar were trying to torment her. 12 hours when they would observe her actions. She could not interact with her friends, could not talk to them, could not say goodbye.

 

She decided to listen to one last song before she left. There were some songs she could not listen to for fear of crying. Choosing a CD randomly, she put it in the player, skipping a few tracks. Waiting the few seconds that it took for the song to commence, she wondered which one it would be. She heard a female voice sing:

 

“If I should die this very moment,

I wouldn't fear

For I've never know completeness,

Like being here

Wrapped in the warmth of you,

Loving every breath of you

Stole my heart this moment

Oh it might burst!”

 

It was one of the songs she hadn't wanted to hear. It made her remember her feelings when she was with Ichigo in the hotel. Without really knowing it, the song had been playing through her mind when he was holding her close.

 

“Could we stay right here?

Till the end of time?

Till the earth stops turning?

Want to love you til the seas run dry

I've found the one I've waited for.”

 

She quickly pushed the button to silence the song. If she listened to it, she would have to concede that she had found the love, only to be forced to deny the love. Shaking her head she denied the tears she felt forming in her eyes. Crying did not help.

 

Thinking hard, she went to where she had stored the ill-fated charm. When she had placed it there, she thought her heart was breaking at the loss of her friendship with Ichigo. That was a minor hurt compared to the pain she was now experiencing. There was one final chance to see the person she loved so persistently, so completely. If only she had the chance to use the charm again, she would choose the time she had been with Ichigo in the hotel. She would never have stopped repeating those hours. It didn't matter if they had sex or not. What was important was the time when they finally began to understand each other, when all the stupid notions she had were finally dispelled. The moments when Ichigo told her he cared for her and liked her. Clutching the charm in both hands, she wished; she tried to invoke the charm again.

 

She closed her eyes, screwed up her face said the words: “Kurikaesu. Repeat.” She felt her blood pound through her body as she uttered a silent prayer to any deity who might be listening.

 

“If this was a fairytale, this would work. It must work.” Orihime assured herself, as her common sense dictated otherwise.

 

She opened her eyes, knowing that nothing had changed. The charm had branded itself into her hand and that was the only change she could see. She clenched her hand around the charm again, preparing to throw it away, but stopped. It would be wrong to leave it behind. Someone might accidentally use it and not know the rules. They could end up in a worse mess than she had. But did she want to take a powerful charm with her into the realm of the Arrancar? What use could Aizen make of the charm? She couldn't take it with her.

 

Orihime smiled slightly. She knew what she would do with the charm. It did not directly break the Arrancar rule, but it might indicate something if she left the charm behind.

 

Nervously, Orihime made her way to Ichigo's room. The experience of walking through the walls was unnerving, at first. As she walked into Ichigo's room she felt a startled gasp leave her. Ichigo had been hurt again. He looked so pale and vulnerable. Her heart lurched.

 

She bent to kiss him, wanting to feel her lips touch his one final time, but stopped, realising that she should not. If the Hollow was anything like the Arrancar, it would sense her presence and try to take over. If Ichigo had not managed to regain control of the Hollow and as Ichigo was in a weakened state, the Hollow might succeed. She couldn't do that to Ichigo. It would be wrong. Tears formed in her eyes as she realised the futility of her visit. Telling Ichigo she loved him helped. So did healing him and placing the charm in his now uninjured hand. She hoped he would understand why she left the charm with him, that he would realise the significance.

 

Hesitating she continued to gaze at him, willing that he would open his eyes, hoping that he would not. The minutes ticked by and she knew she had to leave. One final glance at Ichigo and she left to meet the Arrancar. This was possibly her last few minutes in the human world.

 

Savouring the scent of the breeze, and the way it felt against her skin, she set her feet on the path to the meeting place. Looking at the sky, she wondered if there would be stars where she was going. Stars made the night sky seem friendly. Remembering the attitude of the Arrancar who had given her the ultimatum, she hoped there would be stars. She did not think she would find friends among the Arrancar, or with the traitors. Slowly and reluctantly Orihime walked toward her new and twisted destiny.

 

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