Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Negative Space ❯ Violent Tendencies ( Chapter 15 )

[ X - Adult: No readers under 18. Contains Graphic Adult Themes/Extreme violence. ]

I stared down at the life size doll that was draped across the chair before me. It was roughly man shaped and colored a deep rusty brown with features that were so generic it was like someone had drawn something and molded it into a face. Over all, it wasn't exactly Human looking, and it was freaky as fuck.

"What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?" I asked the empty room as I nudged the doll's foot. I felt an odd sort of magnetic draw to the doll where my foot had connected with it, and quickly stepped back. Jesus, Soul Reaper's and their damn toys.

"Why do I even have to get in this thing?" I grumbled to myself as I started pacing from one side of the room to the other. My eyes darted across the room to the pile of clothes that were set on a low table in the far corner of the room. When I had first entered the room I had stared at the gigai for a long time, but eventually I had gone to check out the only other thing that appeared to be placed out on purpose.

The clothes weren't something I wouldn't wear. Actually, I might have picked it out the thick biking leggings, royal blue jogging tank and black stretchy jogging sweater. It would have been like an emergency trip to raid clothes from a terminal jogger, but something that was just my thing. I liked sporty clothes. They were easy to move in, breathable while still covering skin, and more durable than some other materials I had. Jeans or leather were my go-to durable clothes for combat, but until I met Grimmjow I hadn't actually needed to wear them most of the time.

"You look Human, but you don't feel Human, and can't be seen by them unless they're special," Grimmjow said from the other side the closed door leading to the hallway.

I glared harder at the stupid doll as I thought over his words. I really didn't like Soul Reapers.

"What does this thing even do?" I asked him. The door to the room I was in slid open and I turned to look up at him. Instantly my eyes were drawn to the smooth line of his jaw and the lack of mask over his right cheek. It was like his mask had never existed! "Y-your mask!"

Those cool azure eyes of his were steady on me for a moment as his hand rubbed his cheek. "The gigai makes us look Human in a lot of ways."

Human indeed. He had lost his Espada uniform jacket in exchange for a rather nice looking black button up shirt. The top few buttons were left undone to expose his neck and chest, as well as the white deep neck shirt he had on underneath it. A simple yet purposeful chain hung around his neck to accent his collarbones and the clearly defined muscles that he sported. His hair was a bit softer looking than it normally was, like he hadn't been able to go about his usual grooming practices. To compliment it all he was wearing a pair of dark wash jeans that were just tight enough to show off his body underneath.

I had only seen Grimmjow in the singular outfit he usually wore like he had magical duplicates of the same things. Seeing him in this was like gazing upon a totally different person with the same body. It was like his freaky Human twin or something, and the woman in me really liked it.

"Is your mask still there?" I asked as my hand lifted. I started to reach for his cheek to confirm for myself that it wasn't there, but hesitated when I realized what I was doing.

"Yes and no," Grimmjow said as he watched me. His hand slowly dropped from cheek and he turned his head slightly like he was offering his cheek for me to touch. I had a moment to decide what I was going to do: reach out and finish what I had started, or pull back and reject these strange things that the Soul Reapers had made. Everything here was so unsettling, but this was Grimmjow's request. He wanted me to be here to support him in whatever this task was.

Resigning myself to Grimmjow's silent offer, I finished the motion I had started and brushed the tips of my fingers across his cheek. Smooth skin met my touch and I almost jumped. I knew what I had been seeing, but somehow I had still expected my fingers to run into his mask.

"How," my voice trailed off as I cupped his cheek with my hand, marveling at the incomprehensible disappearance of his mask.

"It's the gigai," he said simply as his hand covered mine and he pressed my palm firmly into his skin.

"I don't understand," I murmured as my thumb stroked across his cheek bone and I recalled the sense memory of his mask's teeth scraping across my skin. I liked his mask. It was a hint at what he really was just like mine was.

"You don't need to understand. You have to accept it and move on," he said.

His words reminded me of something Raacharg had told me a few years ago. It was a phrase so similar that I pulled back from him and stared down at my hand as the lingering sensation of his warmth made my skin tingle.

You don't need to understand something for it to be true. You just need to accept it for what it is.

"Just how much did you talk to Raacharg while I was unconscious?" I asked, my voice slow as my thoughts churned.

"Enough," he said casually. His brow slowly crept higher on his face, then his expression became smug in a worrisome sort of way. "Take off your zanpakuto."

"What? No," I said quickly as I turned away from him so I could keep my body between him and where my zanpakuto was sheathed on my back. I didn't like this sudden change in attitude one little bit.

"If you don't have your zanpakuto on you when you enter the gigai, then it will stay out even while you're in the gigai," he explained as he tapped the hilt of his zanpakuto that was at his waist. "It's made of reishi, so only people with any sense for us will be able to see it."

"I am not taking my zanpakuto off in the presence of Soul Reapers, and especially not those ones," I stated firmly as I propped on hand on my hip in a defiant pose. I made a vague gesture in the direction I was pretty sure the two were and dropped my voice to a harsh whisper. "Did you know the one is a damn cat? A cat!"

"It's a family thing," he said with a one shouldered shrug like he wasn't even remotely bothered by what I had said.

"That's normal?" I asked in outrage. "Then what about that damn dimension beneath us? Is that normal too?"

"Its a training area they built with kido."

"Its freaking magic!" I whisper shouted.

"You don't understand it, I get it, but that doesn't mean it's magic." There was a spark of amusement in Grimmjow's eyes, which only made me feel like I needed to be even more irate.

"You're right, I don't get it, which makes me trust them even less than I did before I met them. How the hell do you even know these people?"

"They saved my life once or twice," Grimmjow answered, his voice coming out smoothly where I sounded irate and damn near panicked. "I get that you're probably uncomfortable here, given how you speak about Kazui, but I trust them. Can you get over your fear of them if you just trust in me?"

I started to protest his statement, wanting to tell him that I didn't do fear, but swallowed when I really realized what he had said. Was that why I had been so jittery? Was that sensation fear? I didn't even know, but he clearly did. Could he tell through the bond what I had been feeling? I didn't want to ask. It would be like admitting more of my own weaknesses, even if he already knew he had given me the ability to feel things that I hadn't been able to before. Ugh.

"Is that why I was so uncomfortable?" I asked as I cast my eyes to the ground so I didn't have to look at him.

"Yeah," he said simply. I silently appreciated that he didn't make a big deal out of it. This was all new to me, and it made me feel so… inadequate. For ages I had been the all knowing one because I had experienced it all. Now I felt no better than a silly child.

I sucked in a deep breath and let it out. "How does this gigai shit work again?"

"Take off your zanpakuto," he repeated. I did as he instructed without any fuss, removing both the hand crafted sheath and zanpakuto together before I set them on one of the low tables in the room. I stared down at it for a moment as I considered what I was doing. I wasn't trusting Soul Reapers, that was something I didn't think I was capable of doing. Trusting Grimmjow on the other hand, was something that I could make myself do.

"Not going to argue with me anymore?" He asked, sounding a bit amused.

"You asked me to trust you. Consider this me trusting you," I said with a one shouldered shrug as I glanced back up at him. His expression eased away from amusement to become more serious as his gaze ran up and down my form.

"You'll have to wear something made here in the living when you enter the gigai," he said as he directed his attention away to take in the room.

"So, you just happened to have clothes already picked out?" I asked suspiciously. My current outfit may have been from the world of the living, but it was also so saturated with my own reiatsu that just like my body, they weren't visible to most of the living.

"I come and go in a gigai often enough," he answered vaguely.

"I wouldn't have guessed that by the way you were talking about it earlier," I half grumbled as I glanced back at the gigai waiting for me. Every instinct I had didn't like the thought of entering that thing. I didn't understand it and it was made by Soul Reapers. Those were two big ol' no-no's for me.

"I don't like them, but they are almost a requirement when I do work for Kisuke."

"Work?" I asked. "What do you mean by working for him? Just what is your relationship with these Soul Reapers?"

"It's a long story," he said with a sigh. He leaned back a bit and pushed his hair away from his face in a gesture I had seen him make before. "Let's just get this over with, and maybe I'll explain later."

"Maybe?" I challenged.

"Yeah, maybe."

Ugh.

Entering the gigai felt a lot like stepping into a second skin. It was still my body, but it wasn't. The most startling part of it all was my missing mask. I couldn't get over my ears. They were round, not pointed with the tips of boney feathers. I was used to them being sensitive, but now they were nothing but stiff pieces of flesh that I barely even felt and I kept having to touch them to make sure they were real and that they hadn't just fallen off. Even my spine was gone, hidden under the shell of the gigai. That was the only part of this thing that I liked. All my weak spots were hidden, including my number.

My number being absent was probably the best part in all honesty.

I idly thumbed the candy dispenser in my jacket pocket as we walked down a sidewalk that was apparently part of the path to the shrine we were heading too. Kisuke had given me this thing just before we had left, explaining that I needed to eat it in order to get out of this gigai. Just like everything else here, I didn't understand how eating a piece of candy would get me out of this thing, but I had just accepted it like Grimmjow had said to do.

"I'm assuming you have some sort of plan, right?" I asked as we came up to a base of a stupidly long set of stairs that disappeared up into the shadowed canopy of a small forest. I slipped my other hand into the other pocket of my jacket, wrapping my hand around the coins that I had acquired as I left Kisuke's. My jacket wasn't zipped up to allow for my zanpakuto's sheath to hide under it in a way that would allow me to easily access it.

"Lure it out and kill it," Grimmjow said casually.

"Really? That's your plan?" I asked flatly as I glanced at him from the corner of my eye. I couldn't seem to get over his missing mask. The right side of his face was all I could see as he gazed up the stairs. Without his mask, he really did seem Human. It was unnerving.

"Pretty much."

I rolled my eyes and started up the steps. "Do you know how we lure it out?"

"Pray or whatever it is that the living do at these shrines."

I glanced back to see him only a step or two behind me. "That's it?"

"Keisuke said it's been stealing away people who approach the shrine. You call yourself a god, so you should know the whole deal."

"I was a god, but I wasn't a Human god. I wasn't worshiped like they are, just respected and feared."

Cresting the top of the stairs we stopped to look around. Not bothering to try and be subtle I drew my zanpakuto and extended it, allowing the butt to rest on the ground as my eyes swept over the area. It looked like a typical shrine from where we stood sheltered in the shadows of the forest. There were no odd spiritual pressures or strange lurking shadows in the area, but I couldn't help but to feel like we were being watched. Either I was overly paranoid and was imagining things, or there really was something here.

"I'll be the bait," I said as I slipped my hand into my pocket and started to pull out several coins I had snatched from Kisuke's shop before we left. I had to make an offering if I was going to do this right, and with that thought I swallowed back my spiritual pressure until it was a whisper of power rather than it's usual hum.

Grimmjow raised as hand, waving for me to stop just as I started forward. I did as he silently ordered and let the coins fall back to the bottom of my pocket. "What?"

"You look Human in that gigai," he pointed out. "If you go walking in there with a zanpakuto it's going to know you aren't a member of the living, even mostly suppressed like you are."

"I almost always look like a member of the living. I don't have a big ol' mask taking up half my face like some of you do," I said as I turned my attention away from him and back to the shine. The urge to roll my eyes was strong, but I turned that urge into a twist of my neck and forced my zanpakuto to return to it's dagger form before I slid it up into its sheath to hide it from view under my shirt.

I gave Grimmjow one last assessing glance before I stepped forward and assumed an expression that better fit the young woman I appeared to be. Open, eager, bright eyed and fucking bushy tailed. I had gotten good at being what people expected to see over the past few years. The less you stood out, the less someone looked at you.

Walking out of the shadows and onto the shrine's grounds, I moved across the cobblestones that made up most of the courtyard. This had once been a popular shrine, but it was clear that time and the lack of busy bodies had taken its toll on the place. The red stain that had surely been vibrant years ago was now and off colored orange and had spots of bare wood flecking is color. A few shingles were missing from the edges of the roof, but no broken bits were on the ground. The thick rope that ran across the face of the shrine had started to turn green from being exposed to the elements, but white talismans hung like out of place parchment from it. Someone had been caring for this place, even if they hadn't been able to fix it up entirely.

Idly, I fished my hand into my pocket and withdrew the yen I had taken from Kisuke's. Holding open my hand I counted it, trying to make myself look distracted as I came up to the shine's well. I was going to make a wish or whatever the living did to talk to the gods. I had a vague idea of what I needed to do, which was apparently better than Grimmjow. Playing Human was the key to bringing this thing out according to Kisuke, and what better bait than a self healing god in disguise?

Well, former god.

As I stopped at the well I continued to fiddle with the yen as I felt for something out of place. The only thing my crappy senses came up with was Grimmjow. He had suppressed himself, but I could still feel his presence tickling the back of my mind through his bond. I frowned at my hand. I had hoped I would be pounced on before I had to fake my way through this stupid ceremony part. Shitty cheeseballs in a basket. I didn't know how to do this sort of shit.

Sucking in a quick breath I let it out in a huff and said, "screw it."

Reaching out over the well I took hold of the bells string and in the same moment dropped the coins into the water. I rang the bell, feeling the sound vibrate down my arm and through my body. It made me want to sudder with the deep resounding tone that sounded so similar to my zanpakuto. The sound of it seemed to echo off the world around me, never stopping despite the sensation of it growing quieter and quieter. That was… odd.

Trying not to look suspicious, I pressed my hands together in front of me and bowed my head trying to mimic praying. Somehow I had expected something to jump out and grab me, but nothing seemed to happen. There was an odd stillness to the area like the air had stopped moving, but I couldn't put my finger on why. I closed my eyes as I tried to sharpen my other senses. There was something here, and I needed to draw it out. Gently I eased my hold on my spiritual pressure, letting it creep up just a few notches to hopefully make myself more appetizing.

Oh, there was something new. A presence pricked at my senses and I slowly opened my eyes. My gaze slowly dropped to the water to watch as my reflection on its surface darkened into a black nothingness. I felt drawn to the darkness like it was my Negative Space despite knowing it wasn't my own. It was water, but it was something different entirely.

Fall in…

I wanted to fall into the surface, to bask in that darkness. It wouldn't torment me like it had before. No. This would be gentle. This would be kind.

A pin prick broke the surface of the water, smoothly followed by a pale hand. I watched in wonder as it rose, the fingertips reaching for my cheek. I almost leaned toward those long fingers as they brushed my jaw and slowly slid higher to cup my cheek. The skin was cold like the water as it pressed firmly to my flesh, making me shiver with wonder. A face rose to the surface of the water but never emerged. Its features were ruined by the ripples of the water, but for as much as I wanted to see that face, I didn't move.

Fingers crept higher, tracing over my ear and into my hair. On instinct I reacted and pulled away in one sharp movement. I couldn't let it touch my spine. I had to protect myself. That realization seemed to break the spell it had over me, and I shook my head to try and clear the fog that seemed to still linger.

A high pitched screech sounded from the water, and before I could pull my zanpakuto the hand snatched the front of my shirt and I was pulled into the water.

The instant my body passed the surface of the water I felt like I was falling. Darkness was everywhere, but it wasn't a solid sheet of black. It was close, but streaks of off colors ran through it. It reminded me of the space between worlds, and with that thought a sense of certainty filled me. I threw my arms out, guiding my body as I fell to right itself just before I called a sheet of reishi to my feet and landed hard on it.

I had only started to stand when I was hit with something the size of a tree trunk with sharp edges that cut through my thin shirt to gauge into my body. My breath wooshed out of me as I went flying through the darkness. It was hard to think through the pain and my struggle to breathe, but I managed to call reishi beneath me that I hit and rolled across for several feet before my body stopped. I felt whatever it was in the darkness coming toward me, but in this gigai and wounded I couldn't seem to react to protect myself as that scaled tree trunk slammed into the reishi I was strewn across. It broke without any resistance and I was tossed up into the darkness.

"You're special," a sandpapery male voice hissed in the darkness.

I couldn't focus on it as I called reishi around me once more to stop my momentum. I landed hard on it, feeling something crack with the force. Jesus shittarts, this gigai sure sucked some dopey ass balls.

"Tell me child, what are you?"

Child? Really?

Finally heaving in a breath I took in big gulps of air as I slowly rolled over onto my stomach. Pain radiated from my shoulder as my arm refused to do as I commanded. It must have been dislocated, which wasn't a surprise considering how hard I had landed. I needed to get out of this damn gigai, but even as I thought about reaching for the figurine in my pocket I was forced to look up as that presence loomed over me.

"Answer me," that stupid hissing voice demanded. The reishi I was on shook, drawing my gaze up from the ground to see shimming black scales that covered a round body that must have been four foot wide. It looked like the torso of a massive snake had rested across the reishi I'd made. Spaced out in a geometrical sort of pattern, small golden scales stuck up like daggers from the body. I couldn't see anything else in the darkness so I had no idea how massive this thing was, but I could guess. It was fucking huge.

Slowly I drew my good arm under me and pushed up, making myself sit up. I hurt everywhere, but it wasn't anything I hadn't felt before. I just hadn't been stuck in a fake body at the same time before.

I started to open my mouth to reply, intending to distract it as I attempted to reach for the figurine in my jacket pocket, but stopped when I abruptly felt Grimmjow's spiritual pressure. Before I could do more than be surprised, he landed between the reptilian thing and me on the platform of reishi I had made. In one movement that was faster than I could counter in this gigai, he swept me up and launched off the reishi like a damn kangaroo. I held back my grimace at the pain as we abruptly emerged into the world of the living in an explosion of water.

"Why the hell are you still in your gigai?" He asked as he landed roughly on the cobblestones. His mask was back, covering his entire right cheek in the vicious teeth and bone that I was used to seeing on him.

"Because I felt like getting my ass handed to me," I snapped. "Why the fuck do you think? I've had like five seconds to react and that damn thing dislocated my arm thanks to this stupid gigai."

"Then hurry up and heal it," he shot back.

"I can't heal it like it is."

"Why the hell not?"

"I'm the damn healer here. If I say I can't then I damn well can't."

The sound of metal dragging on stone drew my attention. Grimmjow turned and in the same movement set me on my feet. I stumbled away from him, fighting against muscles that protested until I had no choice but to give into the wounds and I had and take to one knee. The wounds from those tiny blades weren't the biggest, but they had scored across important groups of muscles making me physically weak.

"What the hell are you supposed to be?" Grimmjow asked. I ignored him as I took hold of my upper arm and worked to slip the joint back into place. Dislocated things were always my least favorite thing. I had to put them back where they belonged before I could heal, or they would just heal wrong and I'd have to break things to fix it.

"What are you, little immortal?"

I stopped trying to fix myself and jerked my head up, taking in the sight of the creature before us. In the glowing light of the full moon it was clear what sort of creature it was, but knowing Grimmjow he probably had no idea what we were dealing with. I wouldn't have known either if we had stayed in the space between worlds, but I sure as hell knew now.

I hadn't seen a messenger of the Human gods in ages, but sure as shit this was one of them. It was a sleek black dragon with a long serpentine body and massive head. Golden scales ornately decorated its body from tail to head, highlighting its spine, claws, ears and the small blade like bits on its body that were tarnished with the red of my blood.

"Grimmjow," I said hesitantly as I reached out to him. He was too far away for me to actually reach him, but my shaking hand remained outstretched anyway. "Don't attack it. This is a being we need to make peace with."

"You know what this thing is?"

"It's a messenger of the Human Gods of Fortune," I said, lowering my voice. "They come to the World of the Living when their god has died and been reborn to retrieve them. Normally they are only here for a few hours, snatching the babes of their gods as they are born. For this messenger to be here all this time, there must be something wrong with it's god. We need to leave it alone and let it find it's god."

"What is with you and your god references?" Grimmjow asked as he glanced back at me.

"It's what we are," I said harshly. "Why do you think I call my maker the God Maker? You're too young to know any better, but the three worlds all have gods. Arrancar are the gods of Hueco Mundo, Soul Reapers the gods of the Soul Society, and the living have their Gods of Fortune. I can explain later, but now we need to figure out why this messenger is here."

"I really don't get you sometimes," he said, shaking his head before he turned back to the dragon. "We need a piece of it, or we won't get that damn band from Kisuke."

"Little immortal," the messenger bellowed, it's voice carrying over the area. "Leave now, or I will remove you."

"You can try," Grimmjow snarled, a fierce grin on his face. He wanted a fight, was even excited about it.

Idiot.

"Grimmjow, don't."

I don't know why I even bothered to say something, because he ignored me and drew his zanpakuto. "I'm going to enjoy skinning you, ya giant snake."

Of course.

I rolled my eyes in exasperation and turned my attention back to my arm, rolling it in an attempt to get it back in it's socket. Grimmjow was going to do something stupid. I could just feel it. He needed to temper his damn violent tendencies and actually listen to me for once.

"Little Imortal, this is my last-"

Grimmjow's spiritual pressure seemed to explode just as my shoulder snapped back into place with a crunch. I groaned with the pain, but it came out in spurts like a laugh. This was so stupid. I flushed my body with power, healing the contusions and damaged tissue my little trip through the well had caused. The gigai didn't agree with my power, and I felt myself pulling away from the fake body like it couldn't stay synced with me. I pushed more power into it and snatched the figurine Kisuke had given me. Popping out the little candy it held, I made quick work of swallowing it. The strange sensation of being pulled into two wound through me, and with a thunk, I was me again.

I flexed my fingers, enjoying the sensation of my own skin. Getting out of that gigai had been like taking off a dampener, making me acutely aware of just how much more sensitive my own body was. I had to bask in the awe of it, but was interrupted by the sound of rocks being smashed and the earth shaking under me. I looked up just in time to shove off the cobblestones to avoid Grimmjow as he was shoved across the shrine's grounds, the dragon's teeth gnashing against his zanpakuto.

I landed on the ground several yards away and rolled with the impact, drawing my own zanpakuto in the process. I flushed power through it, forcing it to extend into a spear. It took me only a second to assess what the heck was happening, and I really didn't like what I was seeing. Grimmjow was in full beast mode, going after the messenger like it was serpentine punching bag. Unfortunately for him, the messenger was a lot tougher than it looked. Grimmjow's zanpakuto couldn't pierce the scales that ran down it's body, and his quick ceros did little more than take the shine off it's scales. Despite the fight, he was smiling. Like, really smiling. It was a sinister sort of smile that reminded me of the fight we had in his tower when I had come to take by my zanpakuto.

He was enjoying himself way too much.

"Grimmjow, stop," I said as I stood and tapped my zanpakuto's butt on the ground to make it ring. "You aren't going to even hurt it like that. You're just pissing it off. You need to stop this fight!"

Grimmjow acted like I had said the exact opposite as he blocked the messenger's lunge with his zanpakuto then spun, catching the side of the dragon's head with a spinning kick that knocked it awry. The dragon collided with one of the trees that surrounded the shrine, but quickly recovered and shot up into the sky where it blended in with the stars.

"Grimmjow!" I shouted, trying to get his attention while I could.

"Quit worrying," he answered with a wave of his free hand. With his other he turned his zanpakuto down and stuck it in the ground like a spike. He knelt slightly and drew several fingers down the blade as the dragon's form dipped below the tree line, heading right for him. "I'll take care of this with one blow."

I recognized what he was doing before he even called the power, and a pang of dread shocked through my chest. I spun my zanpakuto around and slammed the blade into the ground. I called out the release command of my resurreccion at the same time he called out, "Gran Rey Cero!"

Grimmjow lifted his hand in a quick but familiar gesture, and I recognized the doubled ceros that were forming in his palms. I didn't even have the time to think my actions through as I forced myself forward, sliding in and out of my sonido so quickly that it was almost like I had teleported. I threw myself between them, not bothering to worry about my own body as Grimmjow's gran rey cero slammed into my back and my shield clashed against the fangs of the messenger.

Pain roared through my body as his gran rey cero burned over my armor, my spine, and seared my jacket. I could feel it eating through my armor as I stood fast, pushing back with my own spiritual pressure. Knowing that the damage he was causing was far greater than I could actually defend against with my own spiritual pressure, I pushed power into my body and armor, healing the damage as it happened while I pushed back against the dragon's gnashing fangs. Slowly I turned my body, redirecting the dragon with sheer force until an opening showed and I lashed out. My zanpakuto's blade sliced through one of the massive fangs, cleaving the tip of it off as the dragon roared and shot off to my side. Its long serpentine body flashed by me like a freight train. I turned to follow its head only to be made aware of a sharp pain that radiated through my back and legs, but before I could do anything, the tail of the beast slapped my back and I was knocked clear across the shrine's grounds to crash into the archway at the entrance.

Falling to the ground in a crumpled heap, I stayed down. The impact had knocked the breath from my lungs which was annoying, but even worse was the damage that Grimmjow's cero had done. My nerves were on fire and my legs were tingling with little shocks of pain and numbness. He'd damaged my spine, my mask, when I had stepped between them. I should have called on my heiro to take most of the damage, but that wasn't my gut reaction in a fight. Healing was easier and I was a whole crap ton better at it, but it wasn't always the best choice.

Struggling against the pain, I managed to roll my head to the side to give me a glimpse of the shrine's grounds. Grimmjow's back was toward me, but he was a lot closer than he had been when I'd stepped between him and the messenger. The messenger was nowhere to be seen, but that didn't mean it wasn't lurking around somewhere. I didn't have the capacity to worry about it as the pain from my spine shocked through me and I dropped my face back to the cobblestone.

"Just what the hell were you trying to do?" Grimmjow snapped as I felt him come closer. I didn't bother answering him as I did my best to extend my hand and reach for my zanpakuto, dragging my gauntlet over the stone when I couldn't seem to lift my arm high enough. I had dropped it when I fell, but I couldn't move to look for it with my spine in such pain. It was an all consuming pain, eating away at my thoughts like acid.

"Isa!" He half shouted my name, but again I didn't respond to him. My finger brushed my zanpakuto and I took hold of the shaft, pulling it to me just enough so that I could leverage one end off the ground, and dropped it. The blissful sound of ringing metal hit my ears and I commanded my resurreccion to drop.

Instantly, the pain from my broken mask was muted like I'd submerged it in thick mud. I sucked in a gasping breath as I realized that I hadn't been breathing for the past several moments. I pulled myself up to my hands and knees, feeling the world shift with a wave of dizziness. I shook my head, instantly regretting it as the jerking motion caused sharp stabs of pain to radiate down my back and legs. I held back the whimper that wanted to escape my lips, turning it into a silent grimace that I hid with my bowed head.

"I was keeping you from killing that messenger," I finally managed to say.

"We needed it dead," he growled. Footsteps sounded and stopped just as his feet came into my line of sight.

"No," I said stiffly as I lifted my head. I couldn't get my head to lift high enough to see his face, so I settled with staring at his belt. "The job was to get a sample of it. If we had killed it, the wrath of the other gods would have befallen us."

"If I had killed it, I would have what Kisuke wanted and we would have a damn armband."

Ugh. He was angry for no good reason. Typical man.

Using my zanpakuto to help me, I got to my feet. It was hard to move without showing the pain, but I was pretty sure I managed it when Grimmjow wasn't looking at me with any sort of concern. Then again, he might have been to angry to notice. I didn't comment on it as I brushed past him and made a beeline to what we needed. Knowing that bending over wasn't an option, I knelt and picked up the fang I had cleaved from the messenger's mouth. It was about as long as my arm was from elbow to fingertip and sharp like Grimmjow's mask. Blood covered the end I had cut through, probably because I had clipped something else with my swing. That messenger was probably in a pretty foul mood, but taking its fang was a hell of a lot better than taking a face full of Grimmjow's gran rey cero. I would know.

Stiffly standing up, I turned and held out the fang for Grimmjow to take. "We have what we came for."

I felt Grimmjow's anger die through the bond, not realizing I had felt it until it was gone. He stalked toward me, stopping only when he was close enough that my outstretched hand was almost touching his jacket. His hand wrapped around the fang, covering mine in the process. "Did you plan that?"

"I don't make plans," I answered. "Shit just magically happens."

His eyes half lidded and he tilted his head to the side ever so slightly. "Did I hurt you?"

"I'll heal," I answered, feeling like I was lying even though it was the truth. I would heal, but if that pain been any indication, it wasn't my flesh and body that were damaged. It was my mask.

"Don't step between me like that again," he growled, his voice carrying with it the weight of an order.

I released the fang and stepped back from him, using my zanpakuto to keep me from getting off balance. "That's a waste of an order."

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"What you're telling me goes against everything I know. I am your subordonate. It's my job to keep you from doing stupid things, like killing a messenger of the Human Gods of Fortune."

"Isa," he said my name like it was a warning, but I ignored it as I turned and headed for the shrine's stairs.

"Our gigai should have returned to the Urahara Shop, right?" I asked as I walked under the massive arch way I had dented with my body's impact.

It took Grimmjow a moment to respond, but I felt him following me. "That's what he said."

"Good, we don't have to walk then." I glanced down at the steps and smiled to myself. Hiding my pain would have been difficult if I had to go down a hundred jarring steps. Thank the gods for tiny blessings.

Just as I was about to launch up into the air and transition into my sonido, Grimmjow's hand caught my shoulder, stopping me before I could go anywhere. I glanced back at him to see his eyes on my back, and I became acutely aware that his cero had pretty much ruined the back of my jacket. It wasn't the same jacket that my gigai had been in, but rather the jean one that I had been in originally. I couldn't see the tank top I wore without hurting myself, but thankfully it felt like it was mostly intact. It was certainly a bit more airy than it had been, but it was still clinging to my body so that was a good enough sign. Right?

"I can feel through the bond that you're hurt," he said slowly as his eyes wandered over my back, searching for something he couldn't see. "Why haven't you healed?"

"I didn't feel like wasting the energy," I lied as I turned my head away so he couldn't see the pained grimace I made as I pulled away from his grip. I didn't know that he was in tune enough with the bond to be able to sense things like my pain. It made lying harder if he could tell how I was feeling. "I'll heal later when I know we aren't going to be jumped by a messenger again."

"That dragon tossed you around, but I didn't feel this level of pain coming from you until you stepped in front of me." His voice hesitated for a moment, making me want to turn to see what sort of expression his face was making. I didn't though, which made me glad because he finally concluded, "I did this to you."

"I did it to myself when I stepped in your way. You are the master here. If you blame yourself for the damage your subordinates take, you'll be so deep in guilt you'll drown."

"Is that speaking from experience?"

I hesitated in my answer to him, debating if I wanted to tell him the truth, or just some of it. It was a surprisingly hard decision to make when considering my current relationship with him. Damn it… "Yes."

I took off in my sonido then, finding movement easy for the first few steps. It quickly became evident as I moved that I really wasn't supposed to be doing this. My mask may not have been showing, but the more I moved the more sensitive I became to the pain. My vision grew fuzzy as I ran until I only have a vague sense for what direction I was going and I was forced to focus on the only thing that was still solid in my mind.

The bond I had with Grimmjow.

I reached out for it on instinct, trying to draw just enough clarity from him that would allow me to function. As soon as my mind came in contact with it however, I became instantly aware that I had used my broken bond with him to reach for him, and I was slapped with the additional pain of it. I gasped as I fell from my sonido and had to stop just over some street. One hand went to my head while my other went to my back and I ran my hand down where I knew my spine was damaged in my true form. It was higher than the removed segments of my spine had been, like he'd gotten me in the very center of my back. I jerked my hand away as my own touch sent trails of agony down my legs. Gods, this was stupid. It was like I had been kicked by Bartolome not just once, but a thousand times. My eyes fluttered as the pain consumed me and air rushed past me. I didn't even realize I was falling until a strong arm was suddenly around me, taking my weight when I could not.

"You are a damn stubborn ass, you know that right?" Grimmjow growled as my feet gently met solid ground. I couldn't seem to answer him. My head was swimming in a fog like I was on the verge of passing into unconsciousness. I couldn't seem to order my body to do anything but be a limp blob of agony.

When I didn't respond to him, Grimmjow seemed to hesitate. He had been supporting my weight like he had been intending to steady me rather than completely taking it. His grip strengthened as I started to slip from his grasp, but he realized it and lowered me to the ground, settling me on my knees at first, then guiding me to lay on my side when I couldn't stay upright.

"Isa," he said my name as he took my face in his hands and turned it so he had a clear view of me. I blinked up at him, finding it difficult to focus on anything. He swore under his breath before he let my head rest on the ground and coaxed my body to roll forward until I was leaning against his knee. He tore at my shirt, ripping it clear down the back like he was expecting to find something underneath. I knew he would find nothing but unblemished skin, which was confirmed by his continued swearing.

"I can feel your pain, Isa," he said in a voice rough with anger. "Heal yourself."

Even in my barely conscious state I understood the order that came from his mouth. I had no choice to obey and pushed power into my body even though I knew it would do no good. There was no injury that my healing abilities could mend, and in this state there was no visible sign of what had happened. I was wasting energy by satisfying his commands, but I had no choice and I couldn't seem to utter the words to tell him that.

"Damn it, Isa. Heal!"

My spirit energy was just draining away for no good reason as I tried again to heal nothing. His order was so strong that even if I had been in my right mind, I probably wouldn't have been able to refuse him.

He must have been able to sense me growing weaker because I felt him through the bond trying to do something. The only problem was, I hadn't shown him how to actually share his power with someone. He knew what it felt like to receive it, but not how to give it. Thankfully, the sensation of his spiritual pressure radiating over me was enough to clear my head just a little, which was all I needed to be able to mutter a few words.

"I can't," I whispered. He froze with my uttered words, then reacted. His hand slipped under my neck while his other went to cheek, guiding me to turn so as I blinked up I could see his azure eyes through the blurry mess my vision had become. He didn't say anything when our eyes met, so I continued on. "I can't heal what's damaged. Not like this."

"What's damaged?" He asked, the power of his previous order still ringing through his words.

"My mask," I said, satisfying his order. I wouldn't have told him otherwise. His hand on my neck slid back, covering the spine of my mask. I knew he was feeling nothing out of the ordinary, which reflected in the confused narrowing of his eyes.

"My true form," I managed to get out. His eyes lit up with understanding.

"Show me," he ordered. I didn't think he meant it to come out that way, but I still had no choice in the matter. My arm tried to move, but it didn't want to listen to me. I just twitched, but otherwise did nothing. I needed to satisfy his order, but no matter how hard I seemed to think, I couldn't make myself do it.

"I-I can't," I whispered, the sound of my voice seemingly panicked. "I'm t-too damaged."

"I did this to you," he growled as his grip on me tightened ever so slightly.

"No," I breathed out.

"Yes, I did," he said firmly. He moved suddenly, rolling me back over until he was able to pick me up in his arms. A small cry slipped from my mouth with the motion, but it was short lived because his arm brushed where the damaged section of my spine was and in a white hot instant, my world went black.