Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Rangiku and Lots and Lots of Sake ❯ One-Shot

Rangiku and Lots and Lots of Sake (Or Nine Matsumoto Drabbles)

by debbiechan

Disclaimer: Kubo Tite invented Matsumoto Rangiku and the characters of Bleach. I, like every other Bleach fan in the world, merely sigh after these creations, especially Rangiku, who is always so much more than one would expect from your average kickass beauty.

Standard warnings for possible sexual content and manga spoilers apply.

The challenge here was to take requests and prompts featuring Matsumoto Rangiku, and I would do my best to keep her in canon and in character in ficlets/drabbles from 100 to 500 words.

"Guess whoooo?"~Rangiku to Hitsugaya, chapter 214, page 13

1.

Ran/Nemu + bodies (454 words)

for Shinigamikender

Rangiku smiled warmly at the unsmiling vice captain who answered the door.

"I was waiting for you," said a somber-voiced Kurotsuchi Nemu. "All other squads have turned in evaluations of this equipment, and development can not proceed without the tenth’s feedback."

The tenth division steered clear of the creepy, compulsive twelfth division unless absolutely necessary, but Captain Hitsugaya had said that fetching this new prototype training gear was absolutely necessary.

It was a lower-seat’s job, but Rangiku had really wanted to get out.

"You’re so pretty," said Rangiku. It was a line she used to make other women feel comfortable. Men were easy to talk to, but even the most spectacular Shinigami women could feel intimidated by Rangiku’s powerful good looks.

"I have heard this, yes," said Nemu, raising her hand to her throat. The gesture seemed self-deprecating. "Thank you."

"No, honestly, there’s not a woman alive or dead who wouldn’t want poreless skin like that, or such a … supple little body."

"Mayuri-sama designed my skin for ultimate flexibility under battle conditions."

Rangiku considered the difference in their bodies; if itsy bitsy Nemu was designed for agility, then to what did Rangiku owe her own top-heavy figure’s grace and shunpou speed? Luck? Practice? Rangiku really hated to train.

"You could stand a little color in your cheeks," Rangiku said.

Nemu raised her eyebrows. "Color?"

"Oh definitely." Rangiku reached to touch the pale face, expecting the girl to startle, but Nemu’s expression stayed blank. "A little lipstick? Your skin is so white and your hair is so black. Oh, I know! What does your division stipulate about jewelry?"

"Decorative items are discouraged in the labs."

"Oh, that’s right." Rangiku’s hand dropped to finger her own pendant. "Earrings could fall off into experiments or get caught in gears or something." She set her face in a determined way. "You know, I bet your captain with his super abilities could fashion something that would never fall off. I know--dare him." Rangiku was entertaining herself now, smiling at the idea of the twelfth division captain taking on a jewelry-making project. "Maybe a simple red choker around that lovely neck of yours. That would be stunning."

"You think so?"

Nemu’s hand was at her throat again. This time the gesture looked as if she was actually contemplating a fashion accessory.

"Oh yes." Rangiku nodded. "I definitely think so!"

And because Nemu wasn’t the chattiest companion, Rangiku left the twelfth division headquarters soon after. At the next vice captains’ meeting, who should show up wearing a red ribbon around her neck but little Kurotsuchi Nemu! Rangiku was dying to ask, but Nemu was sending off strong "don’t approach me with questions" vibes.

I wonder, thought Rangiku, if she dared him.

2.

Shu x Ran + "anything dirty" (317 words)

for Mahiru-chan

It had only been that one night, a total mistake, and luckily Rangiku had been too drunk to remember much about it, but Vice Captain Hisagi now had the wildest crush on her.

A shame, really. Rangiku didn’t enjoy the company of flustered men. One of the most admirable things about her captain was that nothing could make him blush (Rangiku was considering surprising Hitsugaya in his bath one day, because the "guess who!" boobs-on-either-side-of-your-ears taunt was getting old). She had figured Hisagi Shuuhei to be just as unflappable. Honestly, how could a guy with such an audacious tattoo on his face be turning all red beneath the black ink now?

Rangiku tried to look away from the nervous vice captain. Nemu’s robotic reading of minutes from the last vice captains’ meeting made her glance back at Hisagi out of sheer boredom.

The blush was gone. He was looking at the ceiling. Yeah, that was better. His neck was sinewy and long, and there was a dark sexy space where his collarbone lifted the fabric of his clothes.

Brazen self-confidence, even misplaced bravado--that was sexy. Crazy tattoos and being able to pull off the no-sleeves look--that was appealing.

Rangiku wet her lips and tried to conjure up a scenario, anything dirty. Damn if she could remember anything about their one night except the sake before and Hisagi’s timid-voiced "take care of yourself" the following morning.

And then she remembered.

She had been hanging upside down from his shoulders, her thighs smashed against his cheeks, and her long hair brushing his naked knees. There hadn’t been much to look at except the walls of her own room, but …

It was Rangiku’s turn to blush. She wasn’t sure, but she thought she remembered some version of 69 performed in a standing position as well.

She checked out Hisagi’s sleeveless arms again--oh yes, very strong arms.

3.

Matsumoto + Academy Instructor (188 words)

for Miome

Rangiku believes that she would never have made it out of first year without Gin. Her kidou was appalling, her dodging and defense were clumsy, and it took her days and nights of procrastinating angst before she could finish a paper. Each term she had to beg the academy instructor for an extension.

"How’s this?" She would ask, fluttering her eyelashes and performing her most pitiful look.

"Unimpressive," Gin would say. "Shinigami aren’t the compassionate type. Use more cleavage."

And every term, the sad eyes wouldn’t work and the leaning over the instructor’s desk would. Subsequently, Rangiku’s neckline kept getting lower until the day she entered the tenth division, at which point there wasn’t much lower it could go. Her good sense and bravery impressed her squad mates, though, and her zanpakutou skills got her promoted to vice captain.

She occasionally fell back on desk-leaning to get out of paperwork, but that didn’t work with the new captain. The first time she fell asleep over her reports, though, she woke up to find that her work had been done for her.

Apparently Captain Hitsugaya was the compassionate type.

4.

Matsumoto/Kira + lots and lots of sake (220 words)

for lotus seed

She got him to strip down to his fundoshi and that was as far as he would go.

"Aw, come on," Rangiku said to the slight figure wearing only a strap of fabric around his hips. "You look like a little weed-puller in just that. Take it off, and you’ll look manlier."

The shiny-eyed vice captain on her floor only stared.

"I showed you my boobie-woobies," Rangiku said. "We agreed that you were going to show me your dinga-ling thing."

"You…." Kira was trying hard to remember. "You showed me your boobie-woobies?"

Rangiku glanced down at herself and realized that she was fully dressed. "I think so," she said. "Oh yeah, I’m pretty sure I did. You said you were going to spread the word: the only way to get Vice Captain Matsumoto to flash her boobs is … ." Rangiku frowned.

"Fight her," said Kira, finishing the quote for her. "Fight her, get thoroughly defeated, and then apologize one hundred times over for your stupidity--"

"Over sake!" Rangiku added. "It won’t work unless you do the last part over sake!"

Kira put his sake cup over his nose and inhaled deeply. "What else," he breathed in a nasal voice, "were we talking about?"

"Oh," Rangiku sighed back. " We were talking about how much we both loved Gin."

5.

Uryuu/Ran + sentiment (186 words)

for Miss Ayachan

It was annoying how every little thing made her think of Gin. Even the young ryoka there. The one who kept to himself and whose eyes were hidden behind the glare of his glasses. He had such bony hands and a slack way of standing--as if his skeleton could not hold up the weight of his head. Amazing to think that this slight warrior could have been the one whose reiatsu had eaten the roofs of Seireitei buildings. Amazing to think that he was the one who had forced Kurotsuchi to transform….

But then Gin was like that too. Deceptively powerful. Deceptively….

Still looking at the skinny youth, Rangiku felt her heart fill. There was just no stopping it. Damn it--she felt bloated with emotions. She hadn’t tasted a drop of sentiment-inspiring liquor since the night before, but still … there was just something heartbreakingly beautiful about how boys of a certain age disguised their self-doubt.

The boy caught her looking at him and looked confused. What expression had been in her eyes? Rangiku smiled, and the ryoka turned red as a poppy.

Boys.

6.

Gin/Ran in their youth (270 words)

for Hidden Gems

"Where are you going?"

Rangiku hated repeating the phrase, but she kept hoping that one day he would answer her. It had become a game with him--to say, "I am going to go serve in the legions of the king" or "to pick wildflowers." And he would smile over his shoulder, as if to reassure her that he would return.

Other people were more open, less intelligent. Rangiku would wander the town in search of entertainment, but too many encounters would end up with her kicking some poor idiot into unconsciousness. Fighting wasn’t fun. Fighting had no meaning.

She was on the verge of a nap under a bridge one day when Gin covered her eyes and whispered "guess who?" As if anyone else could sneak up on her.

"Princess of the Universe?" Rangiku said in a dry voice. "Or some flower-picker who got lost again…."

Gin hooked his arms under her, lifted her and spun her around. Her brown sheath fanned around her waist.

"What would you say if I told you we could find proper employment?" Gin said. He dropped Rangiku on her butt, and before she could complain, his head was lying in her lap and his smile was wider than ever. "Ah, there’s really no finer pillow in all Soul Society. What would you say about going to the Realm of the Living? To be Shinigami and kill the beasts that eat souls?"

It was days before she finally believed he was serious, but once the two had passed their application exams to Shinigami Academy, Rangiku told herself that she would never doubt Gin again.

7.

Matsumoto, Kiyone, and Isane go drinking (314 words)

for Quaedam

"Just a glass or two?" Rangiku took Kiyone by the arm after the Shinigami’s Women Association meeting. "It doesn’t have to be a long date. We can all three share a plate of oysters."

Isane had already agreed to go to the izakaya--under the condition that Rangiku pay. Every month Rangiku tried to find some Shinigami girlfriends who would be willing to drink with her. It seemed that the Shinigami men were the partiers behind the walls of the Seireitei, and the women were, by and large, responsible and teetotalling to a fault.

The Shinigami Women’s Association bored the daylights out of Rangiku--probably because that uptight Ise Nanao vetoed all the good ideas. Nemu had suggested a charity auction (all proceeds to go towards the advancement of science) wherein seated male officers would be bid upon by the women. Winning bidders would get a tea date with their male prize, and Yachiru had even suggested a candy sale to follow this event.

"It was a very heterosexist idea," Isane said, frowning over her plum wine.

"What does that mean?" asked Kiyone. She wasn’t drinking. She hadn’t even taken off her gloves.

"It’s modern-day term used in the Realm of the Living," Isane explained. "Calling attention to the traditional roles of men and women and presuming that the only companions women would want are male."

"Oh," said Kiyone. "But by that definition, isn’t the Women’s Shinigami Society homo-sexist? Because it presumes that women only want to be with other women."

Rangiku and Isane exchanged glances. It was clear that Kiyone didn’t understand the sex part of the term heterosexist.

"Whatever," said Rangiku. She gestured for another tray of oysters. "I don’t like to generalize about men and women." But her mind thought: damn, the entire Shinigami Women’s Association and ten crates of sake wouldn’t be as fun as a dead sober Captain Kyouraku.

8.

Shunsui/Matsumoto + sake (230 words)

for Incandescens

Captain Kyouraku was not the sort of Shinigami any woman in her right mind should fall in love with. He was indolent, unreliable, and his singing voice was never quite on key.

He could hold his sake, though, and he never failed to make Rangiku laugh. Rangiku had suspected that she might fall in love with him. And the first time that she and Shunsui-san (as he insisted on being called by anyone he was drinking with, whether he outranked that person or not) opened a bottle together, Rangiku was certain that they would sleep together.

But they didn’t.

No, they laughed about the possibility--about what positions would be best for two nap-loving sloths such as themselves, about whether Gin would get jealous (Rangiku said "no" but Shunsui insisted "yes"), and if sex was actually very interesting at all past a certain point of intoxication.

"I think we passed that point two bottles ago," Rangiku said.

"Just as well," said Shunsui, pulling the brim of his woven hat over his eyes. "Oi, just the littlest bit of dawn dislikes my eyeballs. I would have hated to cross swords with Ichimaru-kun on a hangover morning. Do you suppose my Nanao-chan is jealous?

And that was how Rangiku found out who was in love with whom. Poor Shunsui. Poor Nanao. If anyone was in her right mind, it was that woman.

9.

Matsumoto/Hitsugaya + sake (268 words)

for fieryfaerie86 and cal reflector

The tenth division captain neither approved nor disapproved of his vice captain’s drinking habits. She was a fine officer, after all, and never troublesome and defiant like those alcoholic oafs who comprised most of the eleventh division.

Still, that much sake could not be good for a Shinigami’s health.

Who was he to worry about Matsumoto’s health, though? She could take care of herself, and it was evident that she did--frequenting the spas, and appearing to have the liveliest appetite for a variety of foods, and always looking pink-cheeked and fresh even after the longest days.

So for her birthday, Hitsugaya finally settled on the idea of purchasing an expensive bottle of the rarest rice liquor.

He should have sent someone else to purchase it for him, though, because as always happened when he ventured outside the Seireitei, he was assumed to be a child.

Hitsugaya realized this as soon as he entered the store, and the shopkeeper raised her broom as if ready to shoo him out.

He disliked asserting himself before innocent people, but he shunpou-ed to the shopkeeper’s side and appropriated the broom, saying, "I am Captain Hitsugaya of the Gotei 13, and I’m here to buy the best bottle of sake you have in stock."

He purchased it with no problem, but sometime before returning to headquarters, he changed his mind about indulging his vice-captain’s vice. He left the bottle outside the eleventh division building, where he figured it would be kicked over….

A cake for Matsumoto was a better idea. He just hadn’t wanted to go to the trouble of baking one.