Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Sleeping with the Enemy ❯ Testing Boundaries ( Chapter 15 )

Chapter 15: Testing Boundaries

 

“I dive in at the deep end,

She became my best friend,

I wanna love you,

but I don't know if I can.”

-Coldplay “X & Y”

 

“Good night, Nina. Sleep well.”

And Nina had done just the opposite of that. She was tired, yes, but she could only lie in her bed and flop around like a fish out of water as her jumbled thoughts bounced around endlessly in her head. And then there was Kiyohime in the midst of it all, nagging her incessantly to the point where Nina placed her hands frustratingly on the sides of her head.

“Shut up, dammit!”

Nina flung her blankets back, stood up, crossed the room, and seized Kiyohime from her stand. It was obvious that her zanpakuto was not about to let her get some rest, so she seated herself in front of an open door, laid her across her knees, and closed her eyes.

Almost as soon as Nina was in her inner world, she called out to Kiyohime. “Come out already so we can talk this out and I can get some sleep!”

Kiyo casually stepped out from behind the melted bell and peered at Nina, indifference written on her face, but her eyes glowing with irritation. “I'm here.”

“Oh, what? Have you gone all quiet now that I have come?” Nina sniffed derisively. “You certainly had a lot to say a moment ago, so let's have it.”

Kiyohime scowled at her master before she spoke. “I am highly disappointed in you, Nina. You promised you would not become involved with him, and now look what you have done.”

Nina's eyes went wide, and her face twisted into unabashed anger. “How dare you blame this all on me, Kiyohime! I was not the one who went off and kissed him; he kissed me!”

“You didn't fight him very hard,” she pointed.

“Of course not!” Nina spat. “It's rather difficult to even think straight when the man you're already attracted to has his lips all over mine!” She crossed her arms indignantly. “And if you really must know, I enjoyed it, too.”

“Well of course you did! You're in love with him!” Kiyohime retorted acidly.

Nina uncrossed her arms as her jaw dropped in shock. Gaining her composure and grinding her teeth in anger, Nina stalked up to Kiyohime and struck out her hand, the palm connecting hard with her cheek with a resounding smack.

Kiyohime's face snapped to the side as she staggered back. She slowly turned her head and looked at her master in shock, holding her reddened face. Her mouth moved, but no sound came.

Nina, on the other hand, was so angry that she was shaking.

“So what if I am?” she hissed. She staggered her breathing, clenching and unclenching her fists in an effort to calm down. She probably shouldn't have slapped Kiyohime like that, but she couldn't help herself, and it was for her own good.

Nina took a deep breath. “I…know I said I would not allow this thing to grow, but the difficult thing about emotions is the fact that they are nearly impossible to control.” She sat down on a charred rock. “I tried, Kiyo. I really tried.” She sighed. “The heart wants what it wants.”

The woman looked at Nina and saw the remorse reflected in her eyes, but mostly, she felt both the longing of her heart and the confusion of it all within her master. The zanpakuto and the Shinigami were a part of one another, after all. Kiyo's anger began to evaporate as she started to understand why it was Nina was falling for Captain Aizen to begin with: he brought her a joy she had never known and a sense of belonging that she had sought her entire life. Who was she to stand in the way of her master's happiness?

Kiyohime said nothing as she came over and sat down next to Nina on the burned rock. Her duty as Nina's zanpakuto was to fight alongside her as her partner, not against her, and support her, no matter what she did. Perhaps it was the instinctual protectiveness over her beloved master that had made Kiyohime so upset; she couldn't help thinking that a wrong move could expose them and cause them both misery, or worse, Sousuke would not be the honorable man he claimed he was and would leave Nina's heart in ruins as well as miserable in the Division she had come to call home.

Nina looked down in her lap, now feeling horribly about the argument and striking Kiyohime. “I'm sorry I slapped you, Kiyo. These are my feelings and this is my life. I…know I said I would stick to my principles, but that was before things got so complicated. I didn't want to admit my feelings for Sousuke. I know you felt it, that I was falling. Even so…I'm still confused.”

Kiyo sighed and kicked at the ground with the tow of her sandal. “Love is like that, Nina; it's confusing indeed. I am sorry I have been so angry with you, but I could not stop my instinct to protect you because I have come to love you so. I am just afraid that it will end up being a bad deal for you, if not both of you.”

“I brought up that very same thing with Sousuke, but he seems to be confident that no one will find out,” Nina responded. She furrowed her brow in thought, the remorse still hanging over her head. “I hate that I must keep it a secret. I want so badly to tell everyone I know, but…I can't. I know if I did that there would be repercussions for sure. I know I shouldn't even be engaged in this kind of thing, but how can something so wrong in my mind feel so right in my heart? It's messed up.”

Kiyohime shook her head. “That I do not know. What I do know is that it will be difficult for both of you to keep it a complete secret. It will become tiring, and one slip up on either of your parts will result in the both of you getting into some hot water.”

Nina nodded. “I am aware of that, Kiyohime, but…” She looked up at her partner. “I've decided that I want to be with Sousuke. I enjoy his company and the time we spend together, and I find that I am very happy when I am with him.” She sighed. “I know you don't agree with it - I'm not even sure that I do myself - but…it's what I want, and I sincerely hope that one of these days, we won't have to keep it under wraps.”

Kiyohime nodded and closed her eyes. “I see, Nina. While I am disappointed in you for the fact that you have broken your promise, I can see that you have chosen to follow your heart and see where it leads you. If he makes you happy, then I have no choice but to go along and hope that this does not end in tears and grief.”

Nina nodded. “I hope the same thing, but we shall see what course the relationship will run.” She paused for a moment. “Are we resolved now?”

Kiyohime nodded. “About as resolved as we will be. I still have my reservations and concerns about what you're getting yourself into, but at least I have said my peace, and from now on, I will promise I will not stand in the way of your heart.”

“Will you comply with me during the next training session with Sousuke?” Nina asked.

Kiyo nodded. “I shall.”

Nina stood up tiredly. “May I go back to sleep now?”

Kiyohime ventured a forgiving smile. “Yes…I'm sorry.”

 

 

The lack of sleep had left Nina tired and groggy the following morning. Though breakfast and tea in the mess had made her feel somewhat better, her training session that morning had been sluggish. Sousuke watched her carefully, arms crossed over his chest as he noticed her lethargic movements as she practiced with Lieutenant Hinamori.

Momo had noticed as well, and she shot Nina a concerned glance and stopped. “Seito-san, is something the matter? You're not as sharp this morning as you usually are.”

Nina shook her head. “I apologize, Hinamori-san. I did not sleep well last night.”

Momo blinked, genuine concern rushing over her gentle features. “Oh, were you ill?”

Nina shook her head. “No, it wasn't that. I had a lot on my mind, and, well…I had an argument with my zanpakuto.”

“You got it worked out, I hope?” Hinamori asked.

Nina ventured a smile. “Yes, it's fine now.”

The young lieutenant put away Tobiume and smiled. “Good. I'm glad to hear that. It's not good when a zanpakuto and its master can't get along.”

Nina nodded. “Indeed.”

“I think that is enough for this morning,” Captain Aizen gently announced to Nina, Momo, and the rest of his subordinates. “You all have done well today and you are free to attend to your other duties.” Sousuke walked over to the two girls with hands tucked into the sleeves of his haori as he smiled down at them. “And what have you ladies planned for today?”

Hinamori suddenly blushed at his calm, deep voice. “W-well, I was going to work on my comic for the Seiretei Times…and maybe finish my book.”

“I have library duty today,” Nina put in. She glanced at Momo. “And if you want, you can borrow my inking pens again.”

Aizen smiled. “Ah, I see.” His dark eyes slid over to glance at Nina for a split second. “Well, I suppose I will see you later, then.”

Nina had caught the subtle glance and nodded. “Have a good day, Captain.”

Momo touched Nina's arm and smiled brightly. “I'll be by the library later to get those pens, okay?”

Nina nodded as Hinamori went with Captain Aizen back to the Division Five offices. She went back to her own quarters and picked up her art bag, remembering to put in her pen set for Momo, before setting off toward the library. She regretted that she was unable to take a nap, yawning as she ambled along. Her duty at the Seiretei Library would be a long one today, and Nina vowed that after dinner, she would certainly be turning in early.

 

 

“Those bags under your eyes are not very beautiful,” Yumichika said as he dropped off a few volumes that had been mixed in with the archives.

“Honestly, Yumichika, I don't care,” Nina said tiredly. “I didn't get much sleep last night.”

Yumichika leaned against the desk sympathetically. “How come?”

She sighed. “I had a lot on my mind and I was arguing with Kiyohime.”

Yumichika ventured a smile and patted his zanpakuto. “That's nothing new to me. I fight with Fuji Kujaku all the friggin time. He can be very vein and arrogant at times and it really pisses me off.”

Nina snorted amusedly. “Hmm…kind of like his master?”

“So not like his master!” Yumichika protested.

Nina laughed lightly. “Is that so? They say the zanpakuto's personality often reflects its master's personality. It would seem to be very true in your case.”

“Nina!” Yumichika complained, earning another giggle from his friend, much to his ire.

As Nina and Yumichika began teasing one another, Aizen entered the library and watched Yumichika and Nina giggling away in what appeared to be good humor. In his arm, he held a small parcel that contained a special kind of tea that was a little more caffeinated than the average tea. He'd bought it for Nina after seeing how tired and sluggish she seemed earlier. Suddenly, Yumichika reached out and touched Nina's forearm, and from his point of view, rather flirtatiously.

Deciding not to intrude, Aizen turned and left the library with a frown written on his face. He wasn't sure that he liked the idea of Nina's friend being so engaging with the young woman he was now romantically involved with.

He walked quickly back toward Division Five, clutching the parcel tightly under his arm and decided that he would more than likely have to give her the parcel later in the evening when he could find her alone.

"What ya got there, Captain Aizen? A gift for me perhaps?" Gin asked, suddenly spotting his friend along the way. He began trailing behind him. "Where ya headed?"

"It isn't anything for you, nor is it any of your business what it is," Sousuke said flatly. "And I'm heading back to my Division."

"Hmm why so upset? Something happen with that girl of yours?" Gin pressed.

Aizen stopped, suddenly realizing that he was letting his guard down just a little too much. He drew in a breath and pushed on his glasses. "Why do you assume that my moods always revolve around Nina?"

“`Cause I don't ever recall seeing ya so…flustered. Plus your training with that girl in a rather secluded area from time to time…it's just mere speculation, really, on what I see," Gin replied placing his arms in his sleeves as he followed.

Aizen arched an eyebrow suspiciously. "And what do you see, Gin?"

"Heh, why so interested, Captain Aizen?" Gin questioned. "Ya know this just adds more to my point.”

"Which would be?"

"That you have more than a mere Captain and subordinate relationship.”

Aizen suddenly reddened both from embarrassment and from anger over the very likely possibility that Gin had been spying on them. He grabbed Gin by the arm and steered him off into an alley. "Have you been spying on me again, Gin?"

"My! Dragging me to a dark alley! Who would've thought you'd enjoy my company this way," he mocked, a widening grin crossing his pale features and his slit crimson eyes narrowing beneath his silver bangs. It was apparent that Gin was not enjoying being questioned in the least. "I haven't been spying on you, honest! Besides ya said she was your play thing and now ya seem to care about that girl. I'm simply bein' a good friend and looking out for yer personal…interests.”

“I don't think that's wise of you, Gin,” Aizen said composedly, his voice carrying a dark undertone. “I appreciate your concern, and it will be noted, however, it is not necessary.”

Aizen finished his statement with menacing stare to illustrate his point, having grown tired of Gin's unnecessary interference. Yet in the recesses of his mind, he didn't want to admit that Gin had probable cause for his inferences. He had grown quite fond of Nina's company himself, and the last person he wanted to admit that to was Gin, let alone himself.

Gin remained silent long enough to process this before he took a step back, seeing that Aizen had more than illustrated his point. He knew well enough that his former captain would do as he pleased, regardless of other concerns. Besides, it would be interesting to see where the relationship would go and the drama that was sure to ensue when they completed their plan.

He smiled falsely and spread his hands. “Of course, Cap'n.”

Aizen nodded, his stern expression diffusing back to his normally pleasant demeanor. “Good. Now, I was hoping I would see you, for I have some matters to discuss with you involving our agenda…”

 

 

Sousuke roamed the white halls of Fifth Division late in the evening where he found Nina crossing the courtyard, presumably on her way home from the mess hall. He smiled fondly and quickened his pace to catch up to her.

“Seito!” he called, not wanting to draw public attention.

She stopped and turned to him. “Captain…”

He kept smiling at her and lowered his voice. “Hello, Nina.”

She nodded and lowered her head a little. “Hello, Sousuke.”

“Did you have a good day?” he asked, starting an inconspicuous walk with her that she easily picked up.

She nodded. “Yes.”

He glanced down at her, his face changing to that of mild concern. “I noticed that you looked rather tired today and I overheard you saying to Hinamori-kun that you did not sleep well.”

Nina shook her head. “No, I did not.”

“I hope it was not because of me.”

“I some of it was, but the problem was more with Kiyohime. However, it has been resolved, even if it cost me half the night,” she told him.

“Ah, I'm glad to hear that,” he said. “Are you busy right now?”

“No, I was just on my way back to my quarters.”

“Well…I wondered if you wanted to have tea with me. I have something I wanted to give you earlier, but I couldn't find a chance.”

Nina blinked, surprised. “Y-you do?”

“It's nothing large, but I think it will help the next time you have a sleepless night,” Sousuke said. “Now, how about that tea?”

“Where do you want to take it?” Nina asked.

“My quarters out on the veranda?” he suggested.

Nina's eyes went wide. “Won't that be a little obvious?”

He smirked. “Not if it's between a captain and his Third Seat and they are discussing your performance, not that my having tea with my Third Seat is anyone's business, really.”

“Oh…I see,” Nina trailed. She glanced around nervously, worried that people were staring at them, watching them. Seeing that no one seemed to notice anything out of place with their being together, she nodded. “I would love to join you for tea. Thank you.”

Aizen smiled and led her to his quarters. He opened the door to let in the crisp autumn air as he led her to the veranda. He put out an extra cushion for her to sit on and summoned a servant. He asked politely for some tea to be brought to them, and after she had gone, Aizen removed the parcel he'd been carrying in his haori all day and handed it to her.

“Here,” he said pleasantly. “It's a special kind of tea that would have been just the thing you needed to get you through the day.”

Nina accepted it and smiled. “Thank you. It was very thoughtful, and I shall try it next time I have one of those rough nights.”

He smiled kindly. “You're very welcome, Nina.”

The servant came back and placed steaming cups before them. Aizen looked up at the server and smiled politely. She clutched her tray to her chest and blushed at his devastatingly pleasant smile before hurrying off.

Nina smirked amusedly at him. “My, you certainly flustered her.”

He took a sip of his tea and offered and amused smirk of his own. “Jealous?”

She laughed softly at his joke. “Ha ha…no. Absolutely not. Should I be?”

He shook his head. “Well, no. Of course not. I believe I have made it clear to you on more than one occasion that you are the one I want to be with.”

“And that's why I'm not even the least bit jealous.” She ventured a devilish smile. “Unless…”

His eyebrows went up, interested. “Unless what?”

She smiled behind her teacup and looked up at him with teasing eyes. “You figure it out. You're the smart one.”

“I see,” he laughed softly. He took another sip of tea. “You're not as innocent as you look, are you?”

“Innocent?” she questioned, falling right in line with their ongoing joke. “What in heaven would give you that idea?”

He laughed again shaking his head. “I don't believe I have ever met anyone quite like you, Nina. Your sense of humor is quite sarcastic.” He offered a rare, mischievous smirk. “I love it.”

Nina put her empty teacup down and smiled softly up at him, the sparkle never leaving her blue eyes. “Sarcasm is just one of the free services I offer.”

 

 

Aizen kissed Nina goodnight and let her out so she could walk home on her own. While he'd initially wanted to escort her there himself, Sousuke decided that perhaps it would be a bit over the top after he'd just had tea and about two hours of pleasant and meaningful conversation with her. Aside from the fact that he enjoyed her sarcastic sense of humor and looking at her phenomenal artwork, he found that she was intelligent, insightful, and inquisitive all at once. Yet she seemed so simple-minded at times, probably from her upbringing in Rukongai.

Sousuke leaned in the doorway of his house and looked up at the autumn moon and thought about her more. Gin was right to keep an eye on him; he'd become far too attached for his own good. Yet his feelings toward her that teetered on the edge of infatuation and outright love for this girl was the most real and honest thing he had ever felt in his life among all the lies he was living in.

He had chosen to play with fire, and now he had to figure out how not to get burned. His plans were set to be complete and underway by the next summer, and he had every intention of going through with them. The problem was that he would be leaving her behind, and now that things had gotten complicated and emotions involved, Sousuke wasn't certain it would be that simple anymore. Nothing was simple anymore, it seemed.

He removed his glasses and rubbed his eyes tiredly before going in to change out for bed. Sousuke put out his light before lying down in his bed. It would seem that while Nina would more than likely be sleeping soundly after last night, he was more than likely going to be in for a long night of his own.