Bleach Fan Fiction ❯ Tempests of the Heart ❯ Chapter Ten ( Chapter 10 )

Title: Tempests of the Heart (10/10) COMPLETE.
Author: blue_crystal_9
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Eventual Hitsugaya/Hinamori, Kira/Hinamori
Spoilers: Anything up to episode 62 at this point.
Warnings: Innuendo, swearing.
Summary: It is years after the betrayal of Soul Society. Hinamori's finally beginning to move on with her life, and with that comes much change. Can Hitsugaya handle these changes?
Disclaimer: I do not own Beach; Tite Kubo does. I am not making any profit from this; it is for entertainment purposes only.
Author's Notes: Last chapter plus the epilogue as well. Thar be fluffiness and cheese ahead! Oy vey. *flails in embarrassment*

 

 

Tempests of the Heart

Chapter Ten

 

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Hinamori hadn't slept a wink all night.

 

After she had overheard Hitsugaya and Matsumoto's conversation, she had stumbled back to her room, reeling from shock.

 

Hitsugaya was in love with her, and she hadn't even known. Matsumoto was right; how had she not realized it? She was so blind. She had been blind about Aizen's true identity, and she had been oblivious to her best friend's feelings for her. She felt like a complete and utter idiot.

 

But now, a lot of things made sense. Even though finding out that Hitsugaya loved her had shocked her, it had also brought a sense of clarity. His furious rage over Aizen's actions, his need to protect her, his jealousy toward Kira… there had been a reason for it all.

 

She wondered how long he had harboured these feelings for her and then winced. Of course it had been for years and years; it pained her to think of precisely how long she had been blind to it. Deep down, she knew it had been forever.

 

Hinamori brushed her tousled hair away from her face and sighed deeply. She had no idea what to do now, or how she was supposed to act. She didn't think she could just pretend like she hadn't overheard them. This was too big to ignore.

 

She was floundering in all of this, so lost.

 

The sky outside was just beginning to lighten, and with another sigh she decided to sit outside for a while. Hopefully the fresh hair would help clear her head. She went out and sat crossed-legged on the porch and buried her face in her hands. Her breathing was shallow and she felt her throat burn, signalling the threat of tears. She felt too overwhelmed; she wished he had just told her.

 

Hinamori wiped her eyes and exhaled raggedly. She needed to think about what she was going to do about this. If she did the wrong thing, it could end up ruining their friendship or hurting him. And what about Kira; what was she supposed to tell him?

 

Too many questions were swirling around in her mind, making her head ache. One question in particular was especially prominent, but she pushed into the back of her head to answer last, for it was the most difficult for her to answer.

 

Did she return his feelings?

 

_____________________________

 

Hinamori left the fifth division just before nine in the morning, glad that it was the weekend. Everyone was still recovering from the party so no one would be surfacing until about ten or later. This way she wouldn't have to deal with anyone yet.

 

She was heading to the mess hall for some hot chocolate because there wasn't a supply of it in the fifth division. Tea wasn't comforting enough to sooth her frazzled nerves; she needed something with chocolate. Hinamori ran a hand through her hair wearily before opening the door, and then stopped short in surprise.

 

She, of course, forgot to factor in that Hitsugaya would be awake at the crack of dawn. He was sitting by himself at a table, presumably eating breakfast when she entered.

 

Her flight or fight response kicked in, strongly pulling her toward flight. But even though her mind was screaming `Run!' she couldn't do it. He'd already seen her, and she already felt like enough of a fool already without running like the wind from him, in fear of an awkward conversation.

 

So she straightened her back determinedly and walked into the mess hall. Hitsugaya spoke as soon as she did so, “Good morning. I'm shocked you're still not asleep like the rest of soul society.”

 

“'Morning,” Hinamori said awkwardly, avoiding his eyes and grabbing a box of hot chocolate from the shelf.

 

He took one look at her and said instantly, “What's the matter?”

 

How was it that every time she was upset, even if she was trying to hide it, he knew?

 

You know why, her mind hissed at her and she tightened her grip on the box of hot chocolate. “Nothing's wrong. I'm just really tired, and I need to go back to sleep now.” She mumbled and ignored his confused expression before bolting from the mess hall.

 

Okay, so maybe the `flight' part had fully kicked in after all.

 

As soon as she was back into her quarters, she shut the door behind her and pressed her back against it, sliding down until she was kneeling weakly on the floor. She felt tears burn against her eyelids again and clamped a hand over her mouth, gasping raggedly and trying to stop the sobs.

 

Then suddenly, a voice of reason in her mind shouted, `What the hell is the matter with you? Yes, he loves you. Deal with it. Snivelling on the floor and being weak isn't going to change anything. And really, what's the big deal? Deep down, do you really object to him loving you?'

 

She realized as she sat there that she didn't object. Not at all. In fact, she was beginning to realize that perhaps… perhaps she felt the same way. It would explain a lot of things, if she did love him back. The way she had been noticing him lately, her reactions to him and the feelings she couldn't understand…

 

She was in love him.

 

As soon as the thought had fully registered in her mind, it felt like sunshine had penetrated the dark, dusty corners of her mind. She had denied and repressed her feelings for him for so many years; at first it was because she had been so obsessed with Aizen and then because she hadn't be ready to face them. But now she was.

 

Suddenly everything seemed to shift into place.

 

Hinamori sat very still, and forced herself to really think about the situation she was facing. She though what had occurred, not just lately but over the past several years, her relationship with Kira and Hitsugaya, everything she had needed to analyze but had been too afraid to do so.

 

With Kira, their relationship was easy, almost effortless. He was easy to read, easy to understand. She cared about Kira, she truly did. He made her happy, something she desperately needed since Aizen betrayed the soul society.

 

Hitsugaya was complicated, complex, mysterious. Half the time she doesn't know what to think about him anymore, he's gotten so hard to read. But, strangely enough, even though he is a puzzle that can be ridiculously difficult to solve, he had always been the only thing in her life that truly made sense to her.

 

She has known Kira since her academy days, and he has been with her through all the trials, the hard exams, the betrayal. He is a very good friend, one of her dearest friends.

 

She has known Hitsugaya since the idea of being a shinigami, let alone a top ranking shinigami, was only just a dream. When they were just children, content to just sit on the porch watching the sunset and eating water melons, not a care or problem in sight. He has been her best friend for years, has put his life on the line for her, and has protected her when no one else could. He has loved her unfailingly since the beginning even though she had been oblivious.

 

However much she cares for Kira, her heart does not skip a beat when she looks at him.

 

She has not unknowingly longed for him for years. And, she knew with utmost certainty now that she had done just that.

 

She does not love him the same way she loves Hitsugaya.

 

With that revelation, Hinamori knew what she had to do.

 

For once, she isn't going to just let fate carry her away without her consent or control. She is not blindsided this time. She is not going to let herself drown and succumb to her own doubts like she did years ago after Aizen's betrayal.

 

For once she is going to be strong, and be in charge of her own destiny.

 

_____________________________

 

Anxiety coils in her gut as she tapped on Kira's door, but she pushed the feeling aside. She is not going to question herself, for she has made her decision.

 

He finally answered after several minutes, a little pale with circles under his eyes, sure signs of a post-party hangover.

 

“Hi. Did I wake you?” Hinamori asked and couldn't stop herself from biting her bottom lip nervously.

 

He gave her a sleepy half smile, “No, I've been awake for an hour or more now, but I'm still a little…” He made a vague, circled gesture with his hand near his head.

 

“Loopy?” She supplied for him.

 

“Yeah, that'd be the word I'm looking for.”

 

“Look,” She took a deep breath before ploughing on, “I know I could've picked a better time for this, but it can't wait. I need to talk to you.”

 

Kira noticed the serious expression on her face and nodded, a little confused. “Sure. Let's go sit outside.” He led her into the small garden at the back of the third division and sat on a bench, indicating that she should sit beside him. “Go ahead.”

 

“Well, I don't know how else to say this but… I can't be in a relationship with you anymore. I realized some things today… things that I should have known years ago. I'm so sorry, Kira. You have no idea how much I wish I hadn't have been so blind.” His crestfallen expression pained her, so she took his hand, looking at him earnestly, “I do care for you Kira, so much. But… I do not love you the way you want me to. I'm so sorry, I don't want to hurt you, but it's the truth.” Inwardly she winced at her own words. They were so… mundane. They sounded clichéd, almost practised. They certainly weren't going to make him feel better or make this any easier, but she had no idea how else to tell him.

 

He looked up her, both pain and resignation apparent in his eyes, “You love Hitsugaya, right?”

 

She gaped at him for a moment before stuttering, “Y-yes. I do. I realized last night that he loved me, and after a lot of thinking about it, I realized I loved him too. Probably for years, but I had never realized it.”

 

He smiled sadly, “I figured. Even though you were with me, there was always some… some sort of wall between us. I always sort of knew it was Hitsugaya… the way you looked at each other sometimes, it was always so intense…” He trails off, shaking his head. “I always knew deep down, but I ignored it. I denied it because I wanted you for myself. But it was useless in the end anyway.”

 

“I'm so sorry, Kira.” Hinamori murmured.

 

“Don't be sorry. You can't help who you fall for, it just happens and you have no control over it.” He gave her a crooked grin. “When you truly fall, you fall hard.”

 

“But still… I wish I had realized it earlier. Maybe then I could have prevented you from being hurt.”

 

“Don't worry about. I'll get over it. As long as he makes you unbearably happy, I'll be happy.” Kira smiled slightly.

 

She smiled back at him, “He will.” She paused, slightly sheepish, “Once I tell him how I feel, of course.”

 

Kira chuckled, although it was weary. “Then what are you waiting for? You should tell him.”

 

Hinamori's eyes filled with tears, and she suddenly hugged him fiercely. His understanding of the whole situation was immeasurable. “Thank you, Kira.” She whispered and pressed brief, farewell kiss on his lips. It was bittersweet, for they both knew it was the last kiss they would ever share. She released him then, giving him a small, sad little smile before turning and walking away.

 

Kira sighed heavily as he watched her walk away. He was hurt, but he couldn't force himself to be angry at her, even though he wanted to.

 

For since the very beginning, in the back of his mind he knew she would one day slip away from him.

 

_____________________________

 

 

Hinamori slipped inside Hitsugaya's office, quietly shutting the door behind her and leaning against it.

 

“So, I see you finally resurfaced again after last night's activities?” He quirked an eyebrow at her in greeting.

 

“Oh, yeah. I'm not exactly fully recovered yet, though.” She smiled slightly.

 

He snorted, “You're certainly not the only one. I haven't even seem Matsumoto go to breakfast -or rather lunch- yet or anything. She's still dead to the world.”

 

Hinamori smiled at that, before she frowned, “Wait, it's the weekend. Why are you even here…” She stopped before rolling her eyes, “Let me guess, Matsumoto again.”

 

“Yes.” He let out a long, suffering sigh. “All I asked her to do yesterday was finish these few sheets of paperwork that are due in on Monday and she didn't even do half of it before she got distracted and wandered off.”

 

“So, I assume that you're going to be drowning her in paperwork the next time you see her?” Hinamori suppressed a chuckle.

 

“More likely I'll be bashing her over the head with it.” Hitsugaya said irritably.

 

“Ah.” She stepped away from the door, and walked up to his desk. “Uh, there was a reason I came here. I… I know.”

 

He gave her a funny look. “You know what, exactly?”

 

“I know that… well, I overheard you last night. With Matsumoto, after the dance. The uh, argument you had. I heard part of it, anyway.” The words tumbled out, awkward and messy and not at all the way she had wanted to say it.

 

He suddenly went very still, his voice strangely quiet. “How much of it did you hear?”

 

“Pretty much all of it.”

 

He blinked several times, as though he were trying to gain focus or wake up from a nightmare. “So, you know… about that.”

 

“Yes, um, that.”

 

He froze then, before an expression of utter horror came over his face. “Oh God. Oh God.”

 

“Hits-”

 

“Just… just give me a minute.” He grated out, pushing back his chair so quickly that it scraped against the floor. He went to stand by the window, his back facing her so that she couldn't see his face.

 

She knew there were so many emotions flickering across it though; shock, resignation, pain.

 

She was about to say something but Hitsugaya spoke first, his face still turned to the window, “I understand if you don't want to see me again. If you want me to… stay away.”

 

Hinamori stumbled over her own words in her surprise, “W-wait, what? Why?”

 

“I know you don't return my feelings, so-”

 

“Who ever said I didn't?” She interrupted, annoyed.

 

Hitsugaya whipped around to stare at her, his eyes wide and bright. “What? But you and Kira-”

 

“Broke up this morning.” She finished. “After I finally got over my stupidity and realized some things.”

 

He swallowed, and said hoarsely, “What things?”

 

“That I feel the same way.”

 

“Really?” His voice trembled.

 

Hinamori smiled at him softly, before stepping even closer. She was only a few inches away from him now. “Yes.”

 

She kissed him, curling her fingers around his wrist and pulling him closer. He practically fell into her, tangling his fingers in her hair and kissing her back with more passion then she had known him to possess. Then again, she is the only person he has even shown strong passion for. “Hinamori.” He whispered against her lips, and he sounded like a drowning man who has been saved.

 

Perhaps, in a way, he has.

 

_____________________________

 

 

They'd talked, for a long, long time about everything. Eventually Hitsugaya asked her a question about Kira.

 

“Did you love him?”

 

She bit her lip, thinking about it. “I think I did, in a way. It hurt me when I broke up with him, and perhaps if we had stayed together I would have grown to love him more, but not in the same way I love you. Never as strongly.” She smiled up at him fondly.

 

“You love me?” He whispered huskily. It was the first time she had truly said it.

 

“Yes.” She reached up to kiss him.

 

He pulled away, and she was about to protest until he spoke, voice rough and raw with emotion that he was not used to showing, “I love you, so much. You are… everything to me.”

 

She sniffed as her eyes suddenly filled with tears at his admission. She buried her face in the crook of his shoulder and murmured, “Toshiro.” He nuzzled her neck, sighing contentedly.

 

The door to the office suddenly flew open, and they both stiffened. Matsumoto burst in, looking rather ill. “Taicho, do you know where the pain medication is? I have a handover and the horrible headache that comes with it-” She stopped short when she finally spotted them curled up together on the office couch. Matsumoto gaped at them for a moment before her expression changed. It almost looked annoyed.

 

“Well, about time! Jesus.” She exclaimed, gesturing irritably.

 

“Thanks for the congratulations, Matsumoto.” Hitsugaya said dryly and Hinamori giggled into his shoulder.

 

“Hey, if you had listened to me from the start, this would have happened ages ago.” She gave them a smug look.

 

“Matsumoto, get out.”

 

“I have never been happier to hear those words, Hitsugaya-taicho.” Matsumoto said with satisfaction before spinning around to leave. She called out over her shoulder, “You're telling me everything in full detail later, Hinamori.”

 

“Yes, after you finish the mountain of paperwork that you are going to be given for not finishing your work yesterday.” Hitsugaya called to her.

 

They heard her curse from down the hall.

 

Smirking in amusement, Hitsugaya got up to close the door. He turned back to her, and brushed her hair away from her face, still in loose curls from last night.

 

“So, where were we again?” He murmured.

 

Hinamori grinned cheekily up at him. “Right about here.”

 

She tilted her head to kiss him again, and lost herself.

 

But this time, for once, it was a good thing.

 

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End of chapter ten.

 

 

 

Author's Notes: Don't forget to read the epilogue! I posted it tonight as well. :)