Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Gundam Wing Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction / Tenchi Muyo Fan Fiction / Dragon Ball/Z/GT Fan Fiction ❯ The Anime World ❯ Heero's Birthday Bash ( Chapter 3 )

[ T - Teen: Not suitable for readers under 13 ]

This is the story of six somewhat infamous anime characters and one hero that were all forced to move into a small apartment. It doesn't really make much sense, but it's good for a few laughs every now and then. Anyway, it never actually happened... hopefully. If it did, I didn't do it and can't be blamed.

Notes: I just need to clear up a few things here.
1. When Gohan appeared in the last story, I didn't mean for him to stay. I only meant for him to help Goku move in, but I forgot to add that he left the apartment. One of my readers caught it, so thanks. In other words, Gohan isn't there, that's why he hasn't done/said anything.
2. Goku & Yugi are not related. "Uncle Goku" was just a joke. You guys have to relax! This is humor, so you can't take everything seriously.

Disclaimer: Nagi, Ryoko & Yugi belong to Pioneer; Cell, Vegeta, & Goku belong to Akira Toriyama; and Heero belongs to Sunrise. The Real World belongs to MTV and happens to be a great show (all that tension is actually entertaining!). Not that I'm getting paid for this (but I really, really wish I was).

The Anime World 3: Heero's Birthday Bash

Day Three
8:45 PM

[Everyone is gathered in the kitchen, finishing off ten pizzas (Remember, Goku is here!) from Papa John's.]

Cell: Listen up, gang. Because of the accident...

[Everyone else glares at Heero & Yugi.]

Cell: There will be some changes in the way you've been sleeping. Starting tonight, Vegeta & Ryoko need rooms. Nagi, you're in there alone, so...

Nagi: They are NOT sleeping in my room. For one thing, they never sleep anyway, and they'll keep me up with all that noise!

Ryoko: You don't have to worry about that. There's no way I'm sleeping with that traitor anytime soon.

Yugi: In other words, she's gonna wait a week.

[Ryoko starts to grab Yugi, until Goku shoots her a warning look. Yugi grins evilly as Ryoko backs off.]

Cell: Uh...right. Either way, Nagi's gonna have to share, and so will Heero & Yugi.

Heero: They'll have to sleep on the floor.

Goku: Well, I think Vegeta should stay with you two. It'll do him some good to spend time with Yugi. Maybe it'll prepare him for fatherhood.

Vegeta: (glaring) Well, I think you should shut up! No one asked you! Anyway, since the accident was Heero's fault, he should have to sleep on the couch!

Goku: Hey, that's where I'm sleeping! I want my couch!

Cell: People, it's not that hard. Ryoko can sleep with Nagi, and Vegeta can stay with Heero & Yugi. Goku keeps his couch, and everyone's happy. Now, who's going to help me get that Buster Rifle out of the apartment?

Goku: (with his mouth full) I'll do it. Mmm...after we finish the pizzas!

* * * * *

Goku's Interview

Goku: I'm really starting to like it here. Everyone seems to get along, most of the time. Vegeta's still as cranky as ever, but that's expected.

Guy: How do you feel about the women?

Goku: They're all pretty nice. Except for Nagi. I don't think she likes anyone. Ryoko's gotta be tough, if she could beat up Vegeta like that.

Guy: What about Yugi?

Goku: Oh, she's a little angel. I'm surprised that she could ever be evil.

Guy: I'm surprised you could say that. Don't you care that she's been controlling you?

Goku: (grabs Guy and smacks him) Don't you dare say anything bad about my Yugi!

Guy: AAAAH!!! Back to the story! BACK TO THE STORY!!!

* * * * *

Day Four
8:39 AM

[Goku wakes up to the smell of something burning. He looks toward the kitchen, where Cell is standing next to the oven.

Goku: Um...Cell? I thought we all agreed that you wouldn't cook anymore?

Cell: It's okay. Yugi left me a cookbook. Nothing's black...yet, anyway.

Goku: Guess I'd better get some right now, then.

[Ryoko walks in, yawning loudly. She notices a slip of paper taped to Cell's wing and yanks it off.]

Ryoko: Hey, it's a note! "Dear Guys: Heero's birthday is today, so I went to get him something special. I'll be back as soon as I can. Love, Yugi. P.S. Save me some cake!"

Goku: Gee, I hope she's okay out there by herself...

Cell: Ah, Yugi's a tough kid. She'll be fine. You guys gonna eat this stuff or what?

Ryoko: (peers at the stove) Hey, I actually recognize some of that stuff! Nice work, Cell!

[Vegeta soon comes in, irritable but well-rested. Breakfast continues without incident, until Heero rushes in, a wild look in his eyes.]

Heero: Where is she?!

Goku: Huh? Where's who?

Heero: (grabs Goku and shakes him) Where's Yugi?!

Goku: Calm down! She went out to...do stuff. Oh, and Happy Birthday!

Heero: Forget my birthday! I have to find her!

Vegeta: (sighs) Cell, toss me that frying pan.

[Vegeta walks over to Heero and whacks him over the head with the pan. Heero falls to the floor with a thump.]

Cell: What was that for?

Vegeta: (shakes his head) I've seen this before. Some of Yugi's victims become very attached to her. Never thought he'd be one of the desperate ones, though.

Ryoko: Well, I guess we should pick him up or something...

[Ryoko drags Heero over to the couch. The doorbell rings as she finishes. Vegeta walks to the door.]

Vegeta: Who is it?

Guy: It's Guy! I've got great news!

[Vegeta opens the door and "accidentally" trips Guy, who crashes to the floor.]

Ryoko: (snickering) Enjoy your trip?

Guy: (gets up) Very funny. The CN execs say that this combo just isn't gonna work. One of you has to go, or gets to escape, depending on how you look at it.

Goku: Huh? But why?

Guy: They think it's a little TOO evil in here, and I agree. They're gonna replace one of you with another good guy. Any volunteers?

[The words are barely out of his mouth when Nagi appears and tackles him to the floor.]

Nagi: ME! I WANNA GO! PLEASE, PICK ME!!!

Guy: AH! Have you gone mad, woman?!

Nagi: I have to get out of here!!!

Cell: Oh, so we're not good enough for you now?

Nagi: You guys are fine. It's HER I can't stand! (points at Ryoko) All night she SNORES like a banshee with a freakin' soar throat! If I have to spend one more night with her, I'll kill her while she sleeps!

Guy: Well...okay. When should the CN execs expect you to be go-

[Nagi runs into the bedroom, and returns with her suitcase.]

Guy: -ne?

Nagi: Right now!

Guy: Geez. As for the rest of you, I know it's Heero's birthday, but no wild parties. No strippers or anything like-

[Guy notices Heero on the couch.]

Guy: Oh, come on, people! It's not even nine o' clock in the morning, and the birthday boy's already drunk and passed out on the couch?!

Cell: Actually, Vegeta just hit him with a frying pan.

Guy: ...that's even worse! I think. Anyway, the good guy should be here later today. Oh, and your Gundam-related accident insurance just ran out. Anything else is coming out of your own pockets.

Ryoko: But since we ARE evil, we'd just knock off some banks for the cash. So it would save time and effort if the banks just went ahead and paid for it.

Guy: (muttering) Yeah, well...as long as it gets paid for. And no more kissing scenes between Heero & Yugi!

[Guy walks out with Nagi right behind him.]

Goku: Okay, who's the unlucky person that gets to tell Heero that when he wakes up?

Ryoko: I stood up for you guys last time, so it ain't gonna be me.

Vegeta: Forget him! Who's the dead man that's going to tell Yugi when she gets back?

[Goku, Vegeta, and Cell look at each other uneasily.]

Cell: Well, if you want to get TECHNICAL about it, I'm not even A MAN...

* * * * *

1:25 PM

[The doorbell rings again, and Heero finally wakes up to find that everyone is gone. Mumbling to himself, he walks to the door.]

Heero: Who is it?

Voice 1: (whispering) Should we do the intro speech?

Voice 2: Can't we just walk in like normal people this time?

Voice 3: No! We have to do the intro speech!

Heero: ...Hello?

Voice 3: Move away from the door!

[Heero shrugs and takes a few steps back. There is a loud slicing sound, and the door falls way in pieces.]

Voice 1: We are the champions of love and justice!

Voice 2: (grumbling) We'll right wrongs and triumph over evil... (sighs)

Voice 3: We are...The Sailor Scouts!

[Heero stares in awe/lust as Sailor Moon and Sailor Mini Moon charge into the room. Sailor Saturn, who looks very embarrassed, follows them.]

Saturn: I don't see why we have to do that every time. We're almost as bad as Team Rock-

Heero: (wiping away drool) WOW! It's really you! Duo's gonna flip when I tell him three Sailor Scouts came to strip for MY birth-

Sailor Moon: STRIP?! In your dreams, buddy!

Heero: (chuckles suggestively) You have NO idea.

Mini Moon: (whimpers & hides behind Sailor Moon) Serena, he's scaring me!

Sailor Moon: Don't use my real name, you brat!

Heero: That's okay; I know all your names. I never miss your show.

All 3 Scouts: Our...show?

Heero: (sighs) Never mind. Why are you here?

Sailor Moon: Didn't Guy tell you we were moving in?

Heero: I don't know. I've been out cold most of the day. (rubs the bump on his head) But I guess there's no other reason for you to be here. Why did you destroy the door?

Saturn: Well, SOMEBODY thought we'd make a better entrance if I sliced up the door with the Silence Glaive...

Sailor Moon: Hey, that was classic!

Mini Moon: Yeah, it's only done in EVERY cartoon there is...

Heero: ...okay. Well, we're short on bedrooms right now, so-

Sailor Moon: WAIT! Are you saying there's a chance a might have to sleep with some strange guy?!

Heero: ...that depends on your definition of strange.

[Vegeta suddenly walks in carrying a a ten-gallon tub of ice cream.]

Vegeta: HEY! WHAT HAPPENED TO THE DOOR?!

[Sailor Moon looks at Vegeta, her eyes roll up into her head, and she passes out. Cell & Ryoko then appear behind Vegeta.]

Ryoko: Heero! We're gone ten minutes, and already you've got three strippers in here! (gasps) And that blonde one's already drunk and passed out!

[Cell is too busy drooling to speak. Mini Moon glares at him and blocks his view of Sailor Moon's skirt.]

Cell: HEY! I was watching that!

Saturn: (shakes her head) I knew this was a bad idea.

Heero: Can I have your autograph? I wanna have something to wave in Duo's face when I tell him about this. Plus, he wants to base his new Gundam's weapon off your Glaive.

Saturn: Maybe later. I want to find out which one of you people is going to be drooling over me while I sleep first.

[Cell, Vegeta, and Heero all raise their hands. Ryoko sighs & shakes her head.]

* * * * *

7:58 PM

[Everyone is in the kitchen having cake & ice cream. The Scouts are wearing T-shirts and jeans, so that no one can look up their skirts...again. Suddenly, there is a bright flash of light outside the newly repaired window.]

Serena: Hey, it's a shooting star!

Cell: (with mouth full of cake) More like a shooting Super Saiyan and my evil apprentice.

[Goku flies in through the window with Yugi on his back.]

Goku: We're back, guys. HEY! You've been eating cake & ice cream without me!

Vegeta: (laughs) That was the whole point!

[Goku pushes past everyone, throwing a quick smile to the Scouts before stuffing his face.]

Hotaru: Eww...

Yugi: Um...is it me or do we have new people?

[Heero looks up and spots her for the first time.]

Heero: YUGI!

Ryoko: (yells) DUCK!

[Everyone ducks as Heero dives across the table and grabs Yugi. Ryoko is the only one that doesn't turn away as Heero prepares to smother Yugi with kisses. However, a big, red CENSORED sign that somehow keeps popping up blocks her view.]

Ryoko: What the heck?!

Goku: (crumbs flying out of his mouth) Oh, that's Guy's new censoring system. They think we're too hot for TV now. (gobbles down more cake)

[Reenie covers her mouth and turns green.]

Heero: (hugs Yugi tightly) Yugi, where have you been?!

Yugi: I went to get you a birthday present. (holds out a small box) I hope you like it...

[Everyone crowds around as Heero sits down and sloooooooowly unwraps the box, being sure not rip the delicate wrapping paper, so it can be re-used next-

Cell: JUST OPEN THE FREAKIN' BOX, MAN!

[Heero opens the box. Inside, he finds a small statue of the Wing Gundam, made out of a strange metal.]

Ryoko: (grabs the statue) Hey, look! It's made out of Gundanium! Cool!

[Everyone makes "ooh" and "aah" noises as the statue is passed around. Hero finally gets it back and looks at Yugi.]

Heero: Yugi...where'd you get Gundanium?

Yugi: There wasn't any here, so I went to-

Heero: Outer space?!

Yugi: Well, yeah. Why?

Heero: You went all the way out there...to have this made?

Yugi: Have it made?! Look at these hands! (shoves her blistered hands in his face) Do you KNOW how hard it is to carve that stuff?!

Heero: (quietly) You did all that...for me?

Yugi: Um...yes? Why do you think I--HEY!

[Heero grabs Yugi and hugs her tightly, just before they are hidden by CENSORED signs again.]

Everyone Else: Aww...EW!

Cell: (sniffles) Y'know...in an apartment with five bad guys and four heroes...it's nice to know we've still got the love. (voice breaking) Excuse me!

[Cell runs into the bathroom, sobbing loudly.]

Serena: Not to spoil the moment or anything...but it's getting late, and I need to know I'll be safe when I'm asleep.

Goku: I'd be glad to protect you ladies, but I sleep out here on the couch.

Heero: I could do it.

Yugi: Wait a minute! They're not all sleeping in OUR bed! They have to sleep on the floor with Vegeta!

Serena: There is NO WAY I'm going anywhere near him, or any other guy here!

Ryoko: Actually, aside from Goku, Heero's the most moral guy here. The smaller girls would be better off in his room.

Yugi: (firmly) But on the floor.

Serena: What about ME?

Goku: Well, I guess I could give up my couch for you...

Serena: Oh, thank you, Goku! (hugs him)

Goku: (blushes) Yeah, sure...

Vegeta: (smirks) Now there's a crossover in the making.

* * * * *

Serena's Interview

Serena: I guess things aren't too bad. It's horrible that I have to be away from my Darien for so long, but at least I've got Goku to protect me from all the droolers, and I know Heero will keep an eye on Reenie & Hotaru.

Guy: Aren't you worried that since Ryoko is the only other woman, you might be the target of some unwanted attention?

Serena: What...do you mean?

Guy: Well, if Vegeta & Cell teamed up, they could take Goku easy. And besides, what man wouldn't be able to resist those blue eyes, those pouty lips, those...tantalizing thighs... (drools)

Serena: (backs away) Um...Goku?! HELP!

[Serena screams & runs as Guy chases her.]

Guy: Come back, my goddess! I'll be your Tuxedo Mask!

[Guy is tackled by Vegeta, who beats the snot out of him.]

Serena: Oh, thank you, Vegeta! For a minute, I thought I was in danger of...of...

[Vegeta grins at her.]

Vegeta: And who says you aren't now? (chuckles evilly)

Serena: AAH! (runs) GOKU, HELP MEEE!!!

[Vegeta laughs and chases her.]

* * * * *

Day Five
1:05 AM

[Someone tugging on his arm awakens Heero. He reaches for his gun, until he realizes that it's just Hotaru & Reenie.]

Heero: What is it?

Hotaru: Heero, can we sleep in your bed?

Reenie: Vegeta keeps giving us funny looks, and we don't feel safe!

[Heero glances at Yugi, who is asleep on his chest.]

Heero: Fine. I have four rules. No talking, no touching, no wetting the bed, and no waking me up for ANY reason. And whatever you do, don't wake Yugi up.

[Hotaru & Reenie climb into the bed and instantly cling to either side of Heero's body. He groans in frustration as they quickly begin to snore.]

Heero: I don't even know why I bother anymore.

[Heero closes his eyes, failing to notice the smiles on the girls' faces.]


Extra Disclaimer So I Won't Get Sued: Sailors Moon, Mini Moon, and Saturn belong to Naoko Takeuchi. Just didn't wanna ruin the surprise by putting this at the start.

Next Time: The battle for Heero's heart has begun, and Yugi isn't giving up her claim so easily! Meanwhile, Goku's busy trying to keep Serena from being torn to shreds, and if that wasn't enough, there's more good guys (yes, GUYS!) on the way!