Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ Another Worse Father Than Genma omake ( Chapter 17 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

===============

OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE

"I am *not* Genma Saotome, nor will I portray him even in a simulation."

"...but..." The black cat looked inquiringly up at the old man.

"NO. Do you have *any* idea how dangerous my life is?"

"...but..."

"I've raised kids before you know. Can't you get Drizzt to do it?"

"Why are you bringing *me* into this conversation, old man?"

"How about I give both of you a major magic item and a promise of no interference for a hundred years?" Toltiir asked the two.

The drow ranger looked tempted by the possibility of an Elder god of mischief being out of his hair for a century. Not that he had many funny slapstick adventures, but it didn't help his image to have to deal with "wackiness" or the like. "Joint custody? How about some of those Arrows Of Sunlight. Those *could* come in handy. No. Probably not."

"*Absolutely* not. Do you know how many heroes I've sponsored since Myth Drannor?" Elminster frowned. "There is no way I'm taking on an apprentice at my age."

"Well, neither of *them* could do nearly the job I could anyway," added another.

Elminster and Drizzt glared at the newcomer. Neither really wanted to try and raise Ranma from the pit of cats and try to overcome Genma's influence. There was a little pride involved, however. "Prove it!"

---------

Yet Another Worse Father Than Genma? A continuing omake by gregg sharp.

DISCLAIMER: Characters are by other people. Ranma 1/2 by Rumiko Takahashi. Elminster, Drizzt Do'Urden and the Forgotten Realms are by Ed Greenwood and TSR. Toltiir is by Toltiir.

---------

Ranma screamed. He screamed in pain. He screamed in fear. He screamed in just plain old desire not to be thrown back in the pit.

The Catfist training was a turning point for Ranma Saotome in a number of ways.

Prior to the Catfist he had doubts about blindly following his father's dictums. Prior to the Catfist he remembered that he had a mother. Prior to the Catfist he was still able to function as a multi-layered human being. Prior to the Catfist Ranma Saotome was not exclusively devoted to the martial arts.

After the Catfist Ranma would go on to excel in pride and arrogance, eschewing all other activities than martial arts. After the Catfist Ranma would forget his mother and other people would come to touch his heart less and less. He would close his ability to care for others, it was a tough world and unforgiving - full of cruelty designed to make one stronger. Pain was there to make one stronger.

So, as Genma got ready to throw his son into a pit of hungry cats for the second time, it was an excellent time for an interruption.

Genma threw the screaming child into the pit and turned to where he had put the bottle of sake. He was hoping the stupid boy would hurry up and learn the unbeatable manuever and...

Genma stopped. He couldn't actually have seen what he *thought* he saw, could he?

The obese Saotome patriarch turned around and cautiously peered into the bottom of the pit.

Except the bottom of the pit didn't seem to actually be there.

Genma even more cautiously went to the edge of pit and stared for a few moments more before he finally summed it up. "My god, it's full of stars..."

----------

Genma began wandering after that. While he had watched the floor had reappeared. No cats. No Ranma.

His reason for wandering was quite simple.

He couldn't face a regular job. He was firmly convinced that anything approaching real work was demeaning to a man of his nature. Genma was also quite uncertain of what to do now as his plans had been developed and set for years.

First he would dump his wife and responsibilities to train Ranma to be a superior martial artist. Then he would go off to his old buddy Soun, marry Ranma off to one of those daughters, the son and daughter would then operate the dojo and lead to Genma's long and comfortable retirement.

No son. Therefore no ten years of training, therefore no marriage, therefore no comfortable retirement. Therefore Genma had to go back to his wife and get a job. Providing she didn't kill him or require seppuku.

This was clearly not acceptable.

So Genma had eventually found a nice bar where he was on his fourth bottle of sake, trying to come up with a way of compensating for a son who had vanished.

The best ideas he'd come up with so far had been: a) just going off and forgetting about this and starting over again with a new wife and child; b) a replacement Ranma; c) going to visit his old buddy Soun and divorce Nodoka and marry one of Soun's daughters. So far "C" was beginning to look quite appealing and it would unite the two families.

"Ah, Mister Saotome," said a woman sliding into the barstool next to Genma.

Genma blinked. This wasn't a bill collector was she? She certainly wasn't dressed for a seedy bar in downtown Kobe.

"I was wondering if a deal could be made between you and I regarding your son," the woman said to him, then spoke to barkeep. "Tea, green, hot."

Genma considered as he reached for bottle #5. He didn't *have* Ranma, Ranma was *gone*. The entire pit have been filled with a deep darkness and lots of stars. When the strange image had passed there had been no Ranma so it wasn't like he was doing anything *wrong* by selling Ranma. He'd sold Ranma off before anyway so it wasn't a big deal. "Well, my son is very valuable."

"For the next ten years I'm interested in training your son to be a sort of bodyguard to a very important individual," the woman said quietly but somehow over the noise of the bar.

"Ah, well he can't neglect his studies in the martial arts," said Genma. "Very important."

"I'm willing to pay a considerable sum," said the woman, regarding him briefly with the most unnerving reddish eyes.

"How much?"

The woman reached into her purse and withdrew a small stack of papers. "You'll find the pertinent figures there on the first page."

"Well, I don't know my boy is... SOLD!" Genma quickly looked for the line to sign on. He didn't have the boy anyway and he could at least get this woman to pay his bar tab.

The woman seemed amused as Genma signed and pressed his hanko into the appropriate places. "Fine. Fine. Here's the payment in full."

Genma's eyes popped as the woman lifted an attache case and set it in front of Genma. He couldn't believe his luck! By the time this idiot woman realized he didn't have Ranma he'd be long gone. "Uhm, so. I guess I'll bring Ranma by here tomorrow."

The woman had already drank her tea and gotten up, looking back over her shoulder at the portly man. "Oh, I've already taken possession of the merchandise."

"Fine, fine," said Genma, not really paying attention as he popped the case open.

"Well, we witnessed it," said one of the young men nearby, getting up to leave with the woman.

"First time I've seen an engagement arrangement work so smoothly," said another.

"Huh?" Genma said, suddenly beginning to realize that something was wrong as photographers snapped photos and he realized someone had videotaped the whole proceeding. Well, let them. He'd outsmarted all of them.

"Genma Saotome?"

Genma shut the case slowly having recognized that voice. Slowly he turned.

This crowd of people he did recognize. He'd stolen from most of them. Oh dear.

------

10 years later:

Soun snipped the envelope, wondering why someone would send him a videotape.

He put it in and immediately wept with joy to see his old friend Genma on there. His old friend... wait a minute. Soun turned the sound up.

Almost sleepwalking, he went back to the package and pulled out the photos and laid them aside. The thirty page legal document drew his attention.

"GENMAAAAAAAAA!"

----------

Nodoka wondered why someone would send her a videotape.

She watched it, rewound it, played it again. There was really only one thing she could say about this.

"Where's my sharpening stone?"

--------

Genma, currently breaking rocks in a Japanese prison for repeated petty theft and assault on a police officer, felt a chill go down his back and thanked the kami he was in a nice safe prison under an assumed name.

--------

Setsuna Meiou merely smiled as she looked over her own copy of the document. Which stated, among other things, that the contract superceded all previous negotiations and rendered them null and void. That basically, if the contract was broken by Genma, she would have ended up owning the Saotome family assets down to the last nickel and putting them into debt beyond their ability to pay.

Ranma continued to flow through a complicated kata from where he was, not concerned.

He'd read the contract years ago and seen the tape. His father had sold him off. Ranma had come to terms with those events.

In the meantime he'd trained long and hard for what he knew to be an important job.

Yojimbo. Bodyguard. An old and noble profession, one that many ronin had undertaken over many years. He had a new clan and had been trained by some of the best of the best.

He still had to meet the Tendos, apparently Meiou-oneechan felt that it was important to personally apologize for the oversight of his father. He was tempted to bring his iinazuke along, but that might cause problems.

Finishing by drawing ki in from his surroundings to replenish the energy he'd expended, Ranma readied himself for the coming confrontation.

-------

Nabiki held the door open as she looked over this stranger come calling. Tall, with a lithe muscular look that bespoke of a career in gymnastics or martial arts. This guy wasn't cute, he instead had the sort of lean roguish good looks that could have made a fortune in the modeling business. "Uhm, hello."

"Good evening, Miss. I am here to speak with Soun Tendo," said the youth, bowing formally and politely.

Nabiki looked over the guy some more, enjoying what she was seeing. Not only was he built quite attractively, but he was dressed pretty nicely too. "Daddy is..." How to say that her father was a blubbering wreck?

"I understand," said the youth. "It is regarding that matter I wished to speak with him."

"Oh my," said Kasumi as she arrived. "A guest. I'm sorry but Father isn't really up to visitors right now."

"Ah, you're the eldest daughter?" On seeing her nod, the youth bowed again. "In that case, I tender my deepest apologies to you as representitive of your father. My name is Ranma Saotome."

There was a brief moment of silence, broken a moment later by the trampling of feet as the Tendo patriarch lunged for the door.

Unfortunately, Kasumi and Nabiki were still occupying the door.

*CRASH* *TRAMPLE!*

"Oops." "Ouch." "Owie."

Ranma looked down at the tangle. "Uhm, should I get a doctor?"

--------

"This is Kasumi, she's 20. This is Nabiki, she's 18. This is Akane, she's 17."

"This is Ranma," said Ranma, "who is already engaged. You've got a copy of the contract."

"The Tendo arrangement predates that one," began Soun again.

"While this one specifically states it takes precedence over all pre-existing ones," said Ranma in a perfectly reasonable tone. "Besides, me and Mako-chan get along really well."

"B-b-b-but?!" Soun privately cursed Genma for not being here.

Akane was mollified somewhat. This boy wasn't trying to get engaged and was sincerely not interested. She had enough trouble with Tatewaki Kuno, who had finally gone all out and beaten her and was now insisting that they were engaged. The thing was, as soon as Kuno had offered money to her father, the engagement had been formalized pending only one thing. This boy was her last chance to avoid the engagement to Tatewaki Kuno.

Nabiki had slowly lost interest. She'd love the chance to get out of Nerima but she'd be going off to a college in Juuban soon anyway.

Kasumi looked over the boy with a certain interest. Doctor Tofu had moved away halfway through the year, still unable to bring himself to any sort of coherency in her presence. He wasn't interested in gaining a fiancee, which was a pity, but certainly nothing she could affect. Still it was worth a moment of pleasant fantasy. Nabiki would be off to college soon, and then Akane possibly. Then she'd be free. Free to do what was a good question.

Ranma shrugged helplessly. "I'm just here to apologize on behalf of my birth-father. I've got quite a full day ahead of me so I'll just be going."

"B-b-b-but..." Soun desperately sought for something to say that would keep the boy here.

--------

"So you see, I make a better father than Genma," declared Sailor Pluto as the on-screen Ranma fled. "Ranma is a trained martial artist and bodyguard of the Princess - so he's got a career."

"Akane ends up being kidnapped by Kodachi for 'bridal training' for her brother," noted Bast. "Looks uncomfortable."

"Makoto Kino gets a sempai and a fiance she can keep, Ranma gets a girl who can understand him and who enjoys cooking." Toltiir nodded. "It's a good match: they have enough in common for common ground but not so much that they're competing in everything. With overlapping duties, they mesh well professionally and personally even with his occasional lapses into foot in mouth disease."

"Soun doesn't give up on the Tendo marriage concept," pointed out Bast. "Akane may be out of the running, and Nabiki is off at college, that leaves one daughter he can push towards Ranma. Looks like she doesn't do too well as a seductress - gets too embarassed too easily."

"I have trouble with this image of you as a matchmaker, Pluto." Toltiir looked towards the Senshi of Time. "You don't seem quite the sort. Venus I could see."

Sailor Pluto shrugged slightly. "Why do I always have to be the mysterious no-fun by-the-book manipulative sort? Can't I engage in something where people are happier at the end of the game?"

"It's just... odd," admitted Bast.

"AH!" Toltiir pounced as he selected a scene. "Oh HO."

Bast repeatedly blinked, then grinned. "Ah HAH."

Pluto colored slightly and tried to look dignified.

"Gave yourself a lemon scene, did you?" Toltiir smirked. "Romantic subplot and kids and the whole nine yards, eh?"

Pluto shrugged again. "Hey. Nobody said I couldn't have fun, did they?"

====================