Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ By The Knight Of A Silvery Moon ( Chapter 21 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE OMAKE


Genma was puzzled. Naturally when throwing Ranma into the pit of cats hadn't taught him the dreaded Catfist, Genma had considered just repeating the training until Ranma got it.

Though this might not work. Was it not said that when you fell off a horse, you had to find a different mode of transportation? Which, according to Happosai, had meant that you had to redouble the difficulty of training until the student got it. Except that the Master had usually forgotten about that idea after threatening his two students with it, saying only that they were too weak and pathetic for such strong measures.

Genma knew that any true son of HIS would be strong enough for such measures. The dreaded Master was evil and despicable but he knew his martial arts. In order to bring Ranma's full strength out, Genma had to be ruthless and up the training!

First he'd doubled the number of cats and halved the sausage.

Then he'd had to change locations abruptly due to some of the locals not appreciating the problems a martial artist had to endure to set this up. That some of their cats might have gotten somewhat messed up was merely an unfortunate side effect of the training.

He'd tried tying his son up in steaks and throwing him into the feeding cage at the big zoo in Azabu Juuban. Well, perhaps he'd gotten a little overenthusiastic.

Now he'd just sold his son off to this lady doctor for medical treatment, but this was actually one of his clever plans! Genma knew all he had to do was wait for the right moment and then steal his son back AFTER the appropriate medical treatment!

Unfortunately, after coming back at the end of two weeks and sneaking into the hospital, there had been a slight problem. Trained martial artist or not, Genma Saotome had looked down the barrels of several police revolvers and thought that maybe attacking them wouldn't be the wisest move he could make.

Now how was he going to get out of here and steal his son back?

--------

BY THE KNIGHT OF A SILVERY MOON, an omake by gregg sharp

--------

Doctor Kumori Mizuno held her sniffling daughter and looked over the room past the yellow police tape while the two detectives sifted for clues despite the obvious.

For three years her daughter had gotten to know her "fiance" though the two had become more like a somewhat bratty slightly older brother and timid if smarter sister. Ami had come to rely and open up around her "Rannie" (a quick version of Ranma-oniisan) and now the loss of that brother had hit little Ami very hard.

Ami was seven years old though. She'd recover and forget all about the five year old who'd come here and who'd grown up alongside her for those three years. She'd forget how she'd come running at the sound of breaking glass to see her brother being shoved in a sack. She would forget how the last thing her big brother was yelling was her name and that she should get away.

Doctor Mizuno stroked her daughter's hair as the girl clung to her, all cried out.

"...now I'll never get married..." sniffled little Ami. Remembering the big man with the little piggy eyes and the evil expression, Ami shuddered a little bit more. She'd never believed in monsters before this. Now she did. "Mama?"

"Yes, dear?" Kumori felt the shaking and heard something like iron coming into her daughter's voice.

Little Ami looked up at her mother the doctor. "I wanna be a policeman when I grow up!"

Maybe this was something that Ami could grow out of too.

---------

In order to make up for lost time, shortcuts needed to be taken. Genma knew that his son could overcome the soft time he'd spent under that Doctor's care. He just needed tough love.

The boy had gotten some weakening influences that Genma couldn't understand. Why his son was trying to escape back to those weak little girls, or *crying* about missing his "little sister" was simply beyond Genma's comprehension.

Ah well, the lion had to push his cubs down a cliff in order that only the toughest would rise again. Then the lion had to push rocks down to make sure that only the strongest could climb out. For the boy's own good, and for the sake of the Art, this had to be done.

--------

Sailor Pluto, lonely guardian of the Gates of Time, the red-eyed Senshi, keeper of the Time Staff, etc, kept an eye on her Senshi. She wasn't to interfere, though that resolve was frequently tested.

Such as now.

Upon seeing little Ami and her new fiance, the Senshi of Time had checked back. No, Ranma Saotome was *not* a reincarnation of anyone from the Silver Millenium. Therefore she couldn't interfere when she saw Ranma try to escape his father to return back to his friend. She couldn't so much as nudge the timeline when she saw Ranma tied up in steaks and being dangled over a cage full of hungry lions. She absolutely could *not*...

Sailor Pluto screamed in frustration as she saw Mercury's "big brother" getting mauled and decided to check one more thing.

One day in the future, little seven year old Ami Mizuno would see her mother weeping over a news story. She would find out that her "fiance/big brother" (mainly depending on what mood she was in as to which she viewed him as) would not be coming back and had been killed in a spectacularly messy and painful manner. Resulting in a much more bitter and resentful Sailor Mercury who would keep the other Senshi at an emotional distance, and absolutely no respect for the authorities and adults who had allowed this sort of thing to happen.

Okay, *now* it was something she could interfere in since this led to a lot more confrontations and a Sailor Mercury who was even more prone to callousness than Sailor Uranus at her worst. Pluto's eyes widened as she tracked the possibilities out, saw Uranus attack Sailor Moon, and Mercury KILL Uranus by forming large ice crystals inside Uranus' body. Then Neptune attacked and Neptune joined Uranus before Mercury could be stopped by the other Inners. That was a *very* cold version of Sailor Mercury, one whom embodied Uranus' own "hit first and overwhelmingly" philosophy to an extreme.

The problem was how to interfere. Genma had already lowered the boy into the cage and was about to release the lions. The full moon providing plenty of illumination as Genma started his work.

Wait a full moon? Setsuna realized that Genma was probably doing this at night to minimize interference and in the name of sneakery.

The Time Pens that would allow Chibiusa to travel back and forth in time required the invocation of Chronos. There were others that could be invoked by old bonds by members of the Silver Millenium, and this looked like a tailor made opportunity for her to get the Senshi an ally.

"Khufu! I invoke your protection upon this boy."

---------

1991, Azabu Juuban

Ami Mizuno flopped back on her Western style bed. It had been an exhausting day, her cram school had been infiltrated by some energy draining monster. Ami had found herself now in the role of the sailorsuited warrior of love and fog machines - Sailor Mercury!

And then she'd gotten this. Ami's eyes went past the Mercury Computer to a ragged looking teddy bear. Her big brother had gotten that for her the second year they were together, had it really been eight years ago?

Of course now she understood much better what a "fiance" meant.

Once she'd gotten home she'd done the obvious. Scan the bear and the few other remnants of her brother's stay with them. Pick up traces of his aura and molecular pattern. Set up a scan routine. So far nothing. He was not, then, still in Juuban. Perhaps not even alive.

However, if that monster came for *her* this time, he'd get a markedly different reception.

----------

1992, Azabu Juuban

"We're not having a study session so that you *could read my manga!*"

"Rei-chan? What about *this* manga?"

"WHAT?! HOW DID YOU GET THAT?!"

Ami sighed as another study session began going sour.

*Beepbeepbeepbeep*

Ami flicked open the Mercury Computer, wondering what the problem was *now!*

"Whatthhhithith?" Usagi asked with her cheeks being pulled by Rei.

"More youma?" Rei groaned. She needed her sleep. Having her knuckles slapped by nuns every time she dozed off in class was not good.

Noting that Ami was continuing to stare at her computer with wide eyes and a shocked expression, everyone started getting *very* nervous.

"Waaahhh! Not another monster, we just got finished with the last batch!" Usagi wasn't happy about the potential loss of sleeptime either.

Ami continued to stare.

"It's that bad?!" Rei tried to dash out to do a fire reading, tripped over Usagi, and ended up in a flailing pile of limbs.

"Minna! Henshin yo!" Ami stood, resolution showing on her face. Not only that she looked miffed.

"What is it?!" Makoto began to tremble, seeing *Ami* get this way meant they were likely all about to die. She had too much to do! She still hadn't reconciled with or gotten over her old sempai whatever his name had been! She hadn't gotten her first kiss yet!

Minako's thoughts were going along the same line as Makoto's, excepting that she didn't even have a sempai to fondly misremember.

"We have to rescue my brother!" Ami declared as she pulled her transformation pen out.

"You have a brother?" Minako asked.

"Is he cute?" Makoto asked.

"The one that was stolen by a monster?" Usagi said, remembering hearing something about that when she'd visited Ami's apartment shortly after they'd met.

"Yes," said Ami, not indicating which question she was responding to.

On the table the Mercury Computer continued to blink. [Scan has determined subject "Rannie" within range - 75mi and closing. Evidence of magical interference.]

---------

A young man in Chinese clothing gave a distrustful look to the clouds overhead and leapt over a set of claw swipes from an angry panda. "Yo! Cut that out!"

The panda kept his attack up. The young man leapt over them all, still keeping an eye out for the inevitable rain. "I still say the whole thing sucks, old man!" This followed by the youth leaping to perch atop a fence.

The panda managed a fairly decent acrobatic flip (especially considering that pandas were not exactly built for that sort of manuever) to continue the battle, though the fence bent under his weight.

The boy leapt up, seemed to change direction in midair, and managed to knock the panda to the ground with a boot to da head. "I'm going back to China. So suck on THAT old man!"

As soon as the boy had turned his back, the panda uprooted a sign and clobbered the youth from behind.

The crowd was just beginning to mutter when a new element was introduced to the scene.

"Pandas may be an endangered species but that doesn't excuse attacking innocent boys!" A girl with a really ridiculous hairstyle and a cheerleader costume declared.

"Attacking hunks is something best left to teenage girls," declared a similarly clad girl with a red bow in her hair. On seeing her team-mates stare at her she blinked. "What?"

"I recognize those eyes," said a girl with short hair and a blue uniform. "That's no panda. SHINE AQUA ILLUSION!"

Genma dodged and began to run. He might have made it if he thought to drop Ranma.

"DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!"

"Mercury's scary," said Sailor Moon to enthusiastic nods from the rest of the team.

Then it began to rain, and on seeing the blackhaired boy turn into a redhaired girl, Sailor Mercury got even more upset.

--------

A panda made its way to the Tendo front yard where it collapsed.

It had frostbite over both legs, burns along its back and one arm, and itty bitty holes where something called a Crescent Beam had shot completely through him.

At last, though, he was safe at Tendo's house.

---------

Nabiki came out front, saw a giant panda laying there wounded, and did the rational logical thing. She called the zoo.

The zoo came out and took the panda away where its wounds could be treated and it could be bred to a panda named Ling Ling.

It took Genma two more months to escape.

It took Genma another four months to *successfully* escape.

---------

1993 Nerima:

Soun stared at Genma. He wasn't the only ones as all three Tendo daughters were also staring.

Nabiki thought she'd summarize what the were-panda had told them. She wouldn't have believed *any* of it if the heavyset man hadn't demonstrated the curse. "So your son turns into a girl, you turn into a panda, but hot water changes you back. You were dragging your son here to be engaged to one of us, he fought you, you defeated him with your superior martial arts skills, but then you were ambushed by some girls in short skirts who were throwing magical attacks around."

"Yes, that's pretty much it." Genma nodded. Nicely summed up, though he would have spent more time dealing with his son's dismissal of honor by not rescuing his father thereafter.

Nabiki looked thoughtful. "What have you been smoking, and why aren't you sharing?"

"Huh?" Genma said. Why didn't anyone listen to him?

"But in view of the recurrence of panda hair, I'll grant the possibility," continued Nabiki. "Now that we've established that, let me see what I can do about figuring out which magical girl team it was that 'rescued' your son."

Kasumi blinked. How many magical girl teams were there? She hadn't even known there was *one*!

Akane smirked, figuring out that Nabiki was stalling for time. "That's a good idea, Nabiki. I'm sure you can track them down in a few weeks or so."

"I don't know, Akane," sighed Nabiki melodramatically. "I mean there must be *dozens* that could fit that description and I don't have a lot of money to do this research with."

Kasumi frowned slightly. Dozens of magical girl groups running around Tokyo and she hadn't heard anything about them? She *really* needed to get out of the house more often!

"But you'll do it?" Soun beamed at his middle daughter. "That's Daddy's little girl!"

-------

A study session at the Hikawa Shrine was interrupted. *BOOM!*

"Ranma! You I kill!"

Shampoo stalked forward. There was the blotch on her honor. There were all these weak Japanese girls scurrying off, cowards just like the one before her. Now she would erase the problem and leave this land of weaklings and cowards to return home!

That was odd, the redhaired girl didn't look so panicked this time. She was actually grinning and seemed to be waiting for something.

"JUPITER THUNDER CRASH!"

Ranma looked down at the slightly crispy Amazon. "Good. If she don't see ya attacking, she can't give ya that Kiss Of Death nonsense. Now, what do we do with her?"

Sometime after Ranma had been sent out and the girls were tying up the Amazon, they pulled out several items. "What's this book, and all the bottles of shampoo?"

Ami, who could read Chinese, started reading the book and found parts of it to be *very* interesting.

-------

Chained up and with her own sword stuck to her throat, Shampoo was forced to witness Ranma changing from boy to girl and back again.

"(Now, warrior, you have a boy who defeated you *and* a girl who defeated you. Clearly these laws are in conflict and you should give up all claims on Ranma.)" Ami said, pointing at the relevant sections of the book.

"(You speak Mandarin very well,)" said Shampoo. "(However, he is actually a boy, so what I really need to do is give him the Kiss Of Marriage.)"

Ami shook her head. "(That may be true, but he is *my* brother. You would have to convince my mother to allow your marriage and that is not likely to happen.)"

Shampoo frowned. They might be weak little cowardly Japanese girls but they *weren't* stupid. Maybe since Ranma was a warrior... "(Is this mother a warrior?)"

"(She's a doctor,)" Ami replied. "(Very busy and very well respected.)"

Shampoo winced. Healers were not to be attacked if at all possible, and it sounded like she had diminishing returns in this case anyway.

"(If you give your,)" Ami flipped in the book to one of the back pages, "(sword oath not to attack him or his friends, to treat him fairly and honestly, you will be given your chance to win his heart. I understand that if you fail to kill or marry him, you will be punished and your family's honor will suffer. However, it will be my mother's choice and then his own who he will marry.)"

Shampoo seized on that. Convince the mother that she was an ideal wife for her son and she'd have her husband! "(Okay, I give my word!)"

"What are you two talking about?" Ranma asked, feeling *very* nervous about the look in Shampoo's eyes.

---------

"Oh, what a cute little piggie!" Akane grabbed the little porker and held him up.

"Squee?"

----------

Ranma transformed as he shot forward. The white hooded cloak and bodysuit. The weapons. Moon Knight was ready to stand beside the Sailor Senshi as they went through their own transformation sequence.

Shampoo fell out of her tree, then picked herself up to go chase after Ranma and his sister and their friends. Tucking away the bottle of 110 shampoo as she went because after she figured this out she might STILL have to give those two girl a quick "stop making eyes at *my* airen" shampooing.

On seeing the girls in swimsuits and her airen defeat a monster that seemed mainly to be some floating woman who threw about demonic sewing implements, Shampoo sat down and started thinking this over.

1) Ranma was not responding to her "cute and affectionate as all get out" overtures.
2) Ranma *was* being friendly with several girls, including his "sister" (Shampoo was beginning to have serious doubts about their relationship), who went and fought monsters. When they weren't fighting monsters Tall Girl would look at airen and sigh a lot, and Perky OverCute Girl would do a lot of silly things, and Priestess Pervert Girl would talk a lot to airen about things they had in common, and Silly Hair Girl would flirt even though she HAD a boyfriend. But Ranma was friendly with them.
3) Ranma's mother was not terribly impressed with Shampoo's education. Or her tendency to make her own doorways. Or her tendency to go violent.

Shampoo thought about all this and came to a very simple conclusion. If this was a fight she'd have been beaten silly by now. She had to change her tactics if she was to have *any* chance.

Sneaking back to the loft she'd outfitted as a place to stay, Shampoo got out her sewing kit.

--------

Akane hugged her little piglet to her chest.

Ryouga aka P-chan snuggled happily. After all the horrors of being a lunch item, he had found a measure of content here. This cute girl kept him around and talked to him. Like now as she closed the door and began undressing. "Akane" they called her. Such a nice girl.

Well, he deserved a break from his Quest For Vengeance, didn't he? Ranma wasn't anywhere around, every time he chased down a rumor of Ranma's appearance all he ever did was run into that Moon Knight fellow.

Akane finished stripping, turned to her pet, and watched as he seemed to faint with blood coming from his nose. Humming a little tune, Akane picked up the stunned piglet. "Now to just get you cleaned up."

Ryouga's mind was offline but something sounded bad about that. Something important.

Akane slid open the door, closed it behind her, then began rinsing herself off.

P-chan watched her wash herself off, eyes glazed again and feeling faint. That alarm bell in his subconscious was now putting up little warning flags.

Akane cradled her pet to her breasts again, noting that P-chan had gone all stiff. Well, if he had a cold then a warm bath was just what he needed.

As Akane lowered herself into the furo, Ryouga abruptly connected what was wrong with this picture. "BWeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.... Uhm, hi there."

Akane stared at the boy sitting in her lap where P-chan had been a moment ago.

"You know, there's a funny thing about this..." Ryouga said, trying to find a way to explain this situation.

"Grrrrr."

"It was just one of those things that kinda happened," explained Ryouga.

"...die..."

"Huh?" Ryouga said.

Akane rose up from the tub, causing the boy to slide off. "DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE! YOU PERVERT!"

Three rooms away, Genma had a flashback to over nine months previously and hid.

----------

"Oh dearie me."

She was 300 years old. She could call upon 3000 years of Chinese Amazon history. She was the Matriarch of the Joketsuzoku and familiar with their lore stretching back to the time when Homer wasn't even yet a gleam in his mother's eye.

"Just when I thought I'd seen everything." NOTHING had prepared her for this.

Shampoo adjusted her pink imitation sailor seifuku. "Is good yes?"

"Shampoo, have you been experimenting with your shampoos again?"

-------

He'd had to go back and grab her weapon, then rush forward, leaping from a rooftop to land in the center of the group. "RANMA SAOTOME! PREPARE TO DIE!"

Moon Knight looked at the open sewer manhole, having just pulled the manhole cover off in preparation to see if the daimon was down there. On hearing a distant splash, he wondered if it was anyone he knew. "Damn. Who was that?"

"Someone else you defeat and run away from?" Sailor Shampoo asked.

"Didn't look like an Amazon to me. Looked more like some boy with a large spatula," suggested Cologne.

"I didn't see *this* in a fire reading," remarked Sailor Mars. "Mercury?"

"Sorry. I wasn't scanning for vengeance crazed martial artists," apologized Sailor Mercury.

"urrrrrrraaaaaaaammmmmmmuuuuu," said something deep in the sewers.

"I didn't see, did he look like my sempai?"

There was a moment where everyone, including the two Amazon tag-alongs, directed a flat look towards Makoto.

"WAAAAGGHHHHH!" A blur flashed out and started climbing all over Moon Knight as it came out of the sewer. "Whatwasthat? Itwasickybigslimyglowingredeyes!"

Cologne kindly hit a sleep spot on the strange boy. "You know, Ranma, if you need a vacation from all this, we could just take a nice little visit back to the village with your wife."

"Very funny old ghoul," growled Moon Knight. "Uh oh. Here it comes! Everyone get your attacks ready!"

-------

Nabiki rolled her eyes. She was 18 now. Her senior year. There were a lot of things she *should* be doing right now. College entry exams, for example.

Putting up with a blubbering father should not be one of those things, Nabiki reflected.

Also she found Mister Saotome to be less and less tolerable as time went on. It wasn't merely that he had some odious personal habits. It wasn't simply the drain on the household budget his appetite and frequent use of hot water represented. It wasn't simply the panda dander or little hairballs that accumulated. It wasn't just that Genma Saotome had little money and would complain to Nabiki's father if she blackmailed him too much for what pocket change remained after a drinking binge.

It wasn't simply that he seemed to key off her father's emotional outbursts, Soun Tendo had not been quite as unstable prior to the Saotome arrival. Not that he'd been stable or clever or mature, but he at least hadn't been falling apart nightly with that wail about uniting the families. If he *had* then at least they would have had some warning prior to that postcard. Who knows how things would have developed if that had been the case?

Then there was him constantly trying to eat *her* dinner, steal from *her* room, and hock *her* possessions. Nabiki didn't know that in another timeline that Ranma would have been in the house and provided a target for all these activities besides the three daughters Tendo, or that Soun would actually have been calmer with the son of Genma under his thumb (so to speak). She didn't have any way of knowing or even suspecting that having Ranma in the house would actually slow down the amount of raw chaos caused by having the two disciples of Happosai together in the same house. Of course, the Nabiki of *that* timeline might have been amazed to learn that all the chaos and bizarre incidences caused since the arrival of Ranma were not the result of Ranma himself, who only averaged one bizarre incident every few years prior to Jusenkyo, but put all the practitioners of Anything Goes together and...

Having her father blubber and wail about uniting the two families was entirely wrong, especially now that Akane had been engaged to Tatewaki Kuno (so many pretty yen signs, and the two fathers congratulating themselves over the deal despite that now Nabiki couldn't sell Kuno any more photos) and Doctor Tofu was apparently now engaged by his mother to some girl known as "Miss Bighips Tokyo" leaving Kasumi or Nabiki to fulfill that arrangement. Guess who they were putting the pressure on.

No, Nabiki was *not* happy about the current state of affairs.

"All right, all right," said Nabiki, rubbing her temples after another playing of "Blubbering Cop, Family Honor and Duty Cop." It was quite apparent that she wouldn't get much peace and quiet around here if she didn't take action. "So you're saying that when you took Ranma to Jusenkyo and got cursed to turn into a panda, you threw him into a pool that turned him into a girl because you couldn't read the Chinese in the guidebook. So everytime he gets splashed with cold water he's some redheaded girl."

"Oh my," said Kasumi from where she was pouring tea. They'd heard this story before of course, but still were left wondering what this redhead looked like. After the past year they'd all had a chance to get used to the idea of Jusenkyo curses. More than Nabiki would have liked in fact.

"You're also saying that when you tried to get Ranma to learn some manuever known as the Catfist, that Ranma instead became a white garbed character with some gaijin theme?" Nabiki pulled out the picture she'd clipped earlier. "Like this?"

"THAT'S HIM!" Genma pounced on the photo, ripping it from Nabiki's hands. "You've found him!"

Nabiki thought she had a way out of her own incipient marriage. "So as soon as I find this guy, you're marrying him to Kasumi?"

"That's right, it's all planned out!" Soun agreed, not noticing the substitution.

"Nabiki!" Kasumi, on the other hand, *did* notice.

Nabiki shrugged and just mouthed "better you than me" to her sister.

Kasumi frowned ever so slightly, not liking this. Why, Ranma was a whole three years younger than she was. How improper!

Akane bestirred herself from the private horror of her impending marriage. "The Moon Knight? He's associated with the Sailor Senshi over in Juuban, isn't he?"

"That's right, Saotome! Let's go!" Soun rushed out the door with his friend, intent on the upcoming wedding.

Akane was lost in thought for a few moments. She didn't like boys. She was about to marry the worst pervert she'd ever met, and that was saying something! The only way she saw out of it right now was if SHE were the one to marry Ranma, even though her father and Mister Saotome were currently ready to engage Kasumi to the sexchanger. Which meant... "Hey you guys, wait up! I'm coming with you!" Which meant that she could meet the Sailor Senshi at least. Maybe they could use someone with her fighting skills? She doubted she'd get the chance very often after her (shudder) marriage, but if she had prior commitments?

"Oh dear," said Kasumi, fiddling with her ponytail. She supposed that she needed to go along too and meet her fiance. Except they'd probably try to have the marriage on the spot. That wouldn't be very nice. She'd at least like to dress for the occasion.

Nabiki relaxed and enjoyed the return of quiet. Azabu Juuban was fairly big and the odds were against the two returning with Ranma, the Moon Knight, or some redhaired girl. It might be only momentary but she'd take what peace and quiet she could get.

--------

Ukyo stared. A week of shadowing these clowns had had results. She just wasn't sure if this wasn't something funny slipped into the okonomiyaki flour. "Let me get this straight. You all," she swept a hand at the girls in skating outfits, "are the sailor suited soldiers of love and battle, the Sailor Senshi. You're all reincarnated from some ancient Moon Kingdom, and you're here to protect the Earth while preparing for some new Kingdom you're gonna usher in where peace and love and all that good stuff will be brought about."

Usagi nodded proudly. "That's right!"

Ukyo wondered if this girl was as much of a ditz as she appeared. "Okay, and you're the Moon Knight, the appointed avatar of some Egyptian god of the moon named Khufu who isn't precisely aligned with these Senshi but working to similar purposes in that whole 'seeking justice and protecting mankind' sort of thing?"

Moon Knight nodded his head briefly.

Ukyo blinked a couple of times, then swallowed. "O-kayyyy. And you two, you're..."

"A martial arts sensei and her student," responded Cologne.

"Well, thank kami *someone* around here is normal!" Ukyo let out a deep breath.

---------

Genma limped back into the house.

"Poor Mister Saotome, that's the fifth night in a row," said Kasumi. Fifth night or not, she got out the bandages and first aid cream and the splints. As was usual for Kasumi, she chose to look at the bright side: she was getting a lot of practical experience at first aid.

"Poor Mister Saotome? Poor Daddy!" Nabiki said, not even bothering to look up from her books. "He's still down from last week's little 'unite the families no matter what' attempt."

Akane merely hefted her dumbells.

Genma looked at her and lifted a panda-sign. [It's up to _you_ now.] (flip) [For the honor of the schools, you must convince Ranma to abandon his silly cosplay.] (flip) [The families *must* be joined.]

"Yeah, yeah, yeah," said Akane. "I am *not* marrying him. He's an otaku."

[Fine. Fine. Fine. You can marry that Kuno kid.]

"That wasn't quite what I had in mind," said the wincing Akane.

[We'll have Nabiki marry Ranma.]

Nabiki didn't look up from her book. "You *do* know how much pandas are worth on the open market?"

[Like I said, Kasumi is definitely the one to marry Ranma.]

Kasumi not being currently in the room, there was no immediate objection.

[See, it's decided. A match made in Heaven. Kasumi+Ranma.]

Kasumi was reaching for a pan when she got this most awful shiver up her spine. "Oh dear."

-----------

1994 Juuban:

Luna shrank back under the glares. "...honestly, I didn't remember."

"This is ridiculous! How can a matriarchal society practice polygamy?!" Rei growled.

"I think it was a political concession during the formation of the Silver Millenium," said Artemis, trying to remember.

Cologne could see that nobody was happy with the revelation. "Well, it isn't a consideration for now. Perhaps later when you have come into your kingdom. Plenty of time to find alternatives, right?"

"Two weeks," said Sailor Pluto, walking by the doorway. She paused long enough to leer suggestively at Prince Endymion/Mamoru. "On Tuesday."

There was a brief period of silence, followed by a nearly unanimous "WHAT?!?!"

-----------

Two weeks had passed.

Galaxia had come and gone. Phenomenal cosmic power. Vulnerable to certain pressure point techniques like the "Puke Up Your Guts" shiatsu strike. It had taken Cologne quite a bit of time to manuever into position.

Sailor Moon had forgiven Uranus and Neptune for killing Saturn and Pluto in a scheme that hadn't worked.

Ranma, who had developed a big brother-little sister relationship with Hotaru, had waited until the crisis was over. Then transformed into the Moon Knight long enough to beat two Outer Senshi into a state of severe pain. The only thing saving the two Outers from being injured to a level that Senshi transformations couldn't fix was that Moon had brought everyone back.

Ami married Ranma. When Soun Tendo and Genma Saotome tried to break up the wedding, they had found all the Sailor Senshi had somehow snuck into the little church ceremony. Once again Genma Saotome found himself frostbitten, lightly roasted, electrically fried, but this time he had marks from some chain weapon being wrapped around his throat. It was still better than Soun, who had made the mistake of trying to knock aside one of the Bridesmaids in order to pound aside the Bride and replace her with a substitute. Hotaru had not taken very well to the rough treatment and had used a Silence Glaive Surprise. As she had only had a bouquet in her hands at the time, Soun Tendo was *not* splashed across that district of Tokyo.

It took a month for the bodycast to come off of Soun Tendo, and by that time there was a Crystal Palace in Tokyo Bay.

Ranma's mother found out about the polygamy law and started hinting VERY strongly about possible other wives to add for her manly son.

Akane married Tatewaki Kuno, becoming Akane Kuno, and rumors began that she was violently ill on her wedding night. Seeing the couple fighting, it was immediately agreed by all concerned that they made a perfect couple. Akane ran away from Kuno on a recurring basis, which merely proved that the two were meant to be together.

After a few years, Ranma's mother succeeded in marrying off others to her son.

Genma got into an argument with someone named Herb and was never heard from again.

Soun discovered that Picolette Chardin III was looking for a bride. Nabiki was quite upset with this arrangement, especially as she was the one chosen to fulfill it.

Kasumi was able to get a job at the Palace and had a happy and fulfilling life after she married one of the guards.

Akane had three children. Thankfully, none of them resembled the father.

And so, you see, it was a happy ending after all.