Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Neon Genesis Evangelion Fan Fiction / Ranma 1/2 Fan Fiction / Sailor Moon Fan Fiction ❯ A Fistful Of Omake ❯ What If Jusenkyo Were Older? ( Chapter 41 )

[ P - Pre-Teen ]

Exe, a cute young Asgardian member of the Goddess Relief Office, pondered the pool. "What about changing the age of Jusenkyo?"

Batt, another cute young Asgardian member of the Goddess Relief Office, pondered her colleague."What about it?"

"What kind of effect would *that* have?" Exe wondered aloud.

"Already been done," said a girl of about their age, wearing Pernese dragonriding gear. The only thing out of place in her ensemble was her violet eyes and the Silence Glaive she had laid across her lap. "Check RN-JP 401811."

"Display RN-JP 401811," said Com, the third of the young goddesses, who didn't say much since her stocks had just gone bust.

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WHAT IF RUMIKO TAKAHASHI LIKED TO DRAW DINOSAURS?

"Uhm, wrong title. Try again," said Exe.

WHAT IF JUSENKYO WAS A WHOLE HECKUVA LOT OLDER?

"Better," proclaimed Batt. "Oh by the way, this is just an omake for general amusement, so don't get your panties in a wad about it, okay?"

-----------

"Honestly, engaging us to some guy you don't even know?!" Akane humphed.

"I hope he's cute," said Nabiki.

"I hope he's older," said Kasumi.

"How depressing, a boy," mumbled Akane.

---------

One old man pushed a pawn two spaces forward. "We're from Nerima. We ain't phased by much."

"Gronk!" "Rrrrragghhhh!" "Brahhhhhh!"

The other old man paused. "Hmmmm. That there looks a thoroughly P.O.ed velociraptor which is chasing a giant sloth which is being chased itself by an anklyosaurus. Hmmmph. Don't see that every day. Reminds me of the time I was at Seoul."

The first old man chortled. "Well, that was what you got for monkeying with me' still, Beej! Asides, that there ain't no velociraptor. It's a Utahraptor. Velociraptors are those little ones about the size of a medium dog or so."

"Reckon you're right, Hawkeye." Beej watched the odd procession go by. "Looks like that there anklyosaur done got lost."

"Must have the direction sense of a Hibiki," agreed Hawkeye. "Hah! Lets see ya get out of *this*!"

---------

"They'll be here any moment," said Soun.

"You've been saying that for the past three hours, Daddy." Nabiki stood up. "I'm going to change."

"...any moment," repeated Soun.

Akane was smiling. No boys! Yayyyy!

--------

"Gronk!" "ch-ch-ch-ch-chk. Rragh!" "Where the hell am I NOW?!"

"Aiyah! Ranma! Sash is here! You no run away! You give Sash magical powerup item just like in Rayearth, yes?!"

"RAAAAK!" "Gronk!" "Ah! It's that crazy Amazon chick!"

-------

A multi-millionaire sat back, enjoying the atmosphere of a small Japanese okonomiyaki restaurant. Now if he could just think of the next Big Gimmick. Something he could use to entertain the masses, capture the imaginations, and make himself a hefty profit.

"Here ya go," said the Kansai accented bishonen behind the portable grill. "Deluxe beef okonomiyaki, by the greatest okonomiyaki chef around."

The multimillionaire ate a piece and nodded. "It *is* great! Sorry, but I'm just trying to figure out where to get the next great idea. I'm toying around with theme park concepts, but what theme to use."

The bishonen shrugged.

"GRONK!" A huge furry beast ran by, going remarkably fast. Somehow leaving with most of a deluxe beef okonomiyaki.

"Ch-ch-ch-chk!" A reptillian creature of teeth, claws, scythe like BIG claws, and scales ran by.

"RANMA SAOTOME! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT! BECAUSE OF YOU (pant pant) I HAVE SEEN THE TRIASSIC PERIOD!"

The businessman paused and handed over a wad of yen. "Aw hell. Gimmee another."

"Right," said the guy behind the grill.

"RANMA SAOTOME!" A very pretty and buxom girl with two long blonde ponytails bounced by. "YOU COME BACK! SASH KNOW YOU MAGICAL MASCOT!"

The businessman paused. "A dinosaur chasing a pleistocene beast through the streets of Tokyo?" There was the sudden sound of a cash register opening somewhere in the background.

The okonomiyaki chef turned "his" grill off. "She said 'Ranma Saotome'?!" A large spatula was pulled from concealment.

A large number of young girls with strange colored hair ran past. "AIREN!" "LOVER!" "DINOSAURS SO COOL!" "RYOUGA DARLING!" "ARE WE THERE YET?!" "WANT TO RIDE RANMA, AND SUGAR NOT MEANING IN HENTAI SENSE!"

"AFTER THEM!" Businessman and chef declared as one.

----------------

"Any moment now," said Soun. "Any moment."

"Good grief, it's 11:00! Good night, Daddy."

--------------

The giant sloth sped up as dawn crested the horizon. There it was, the Tendo home. Yes. He'd be safe there.

Genma glanced over his shoulder as best a giant sloth could do. There was Ranma, still snapping at his tail, apparently very unhappy about the engagement still. There was Ryouga, who hadn't even noticed in his anklyosaur form that he had fifteen Amazons sitting on his back. Plus some Japanese businessman, a small grill, and some guy making okonomiyaki up there. Hmmm okonomiyaki. Yum.

Oh and behind that was the policecars, the animal control van, the MiB people, the news vans, and a couple of helicopters. He wondered if those were JSSDF copters, or were they from a news station? Or maybe it was that wacked out paleo- palilio- that weirdo from the University?

Genma turned his head back in the direction he was heading and realized he was about to impact the front door of the house. No wait! Soun was opening it! His old buddy Soun Tendo would hide him!

---------

Soun still had his toothbrush in his mouth when he opened the front door and looked out. The ground had a tremor in it, but he'd been through worse earthquakes. Though what were all the sirens and...

Soun had a moment to contemplate the fact that there was a giant ground sloth, followed by two dinosaurs, several cars and vans, all heading directly for him at high speeds.

Taking the pack of cigarettes out of his pocket, he tossed them aside. Clearly he'd gotten a pack with some of the "funny" additives. Showed him for buying Lucky Strike Yakuza cigarettes. Oh well.

*SCREECH!* *CRASH!* *THUD!* *THWAM!* *BAM!* *SMASH!* *tinkle!* *TRAMPLE!* "Gronk?" *CRUNCH!* "SPLASH!*

It was like a traffic accident. Only more so. The horrible sounds continued on for some time.

Kasumi stepped out of her kitchen, noticing the trail of destruction forming a tunnel through the house. Starting with the front door, going out the back, and ending up in this thorough mess in what remained of the koi pond and the dojo.

Kasumi thought carefully. "Oh my" didn't seem really appropriate for events of this magnitude. "Oh dear." Well, that was a little better.

Nabiki came down the stairs and for once in her life woke up inside a half hour. "What the?!"

Akane came down more slowly, more cautiously, and with her favorite shinnai. "Did I miss breakfast?"

-----------

Soun laughed to himself. "So you turn into a large carnivorous reptile with large slashing claws and a strong bite? Well, your problem isn't so bad. Now which of my daughters will be your new fiancee?"

"None of the above?" Ranma's tone was hopeful.

"Akane would seem the wisest choice," said Kasumi.

"Couldn't agree more," agreed Nabiki.

"ARE YOU NUTS?!" Akane disagreed.

"Well, Akane, you hate boys," pointed out Nabiki.

"So one splash of cold water, and you've got a dinosaur instead of a fiance. What would be more perfect?" Kasumi concluded.

"Where in the world did you get *that* definition of perfect?!" Akane demanded.

"Hmmm," Nabiki hmmed. "She's got a point, Daddy. Both Ranma and his dad mass greater than human. Ranma's cursed form has to weigh three times what his human form is, and Saotome-san has to tip the scales at over three tons. Do you think there'll be much left of the house if they stay here?"

"I'm sure you're exaggerating, Nabiki," said Mister Tendo.

"RANMA! DIE!" Ryouga charged forward, splashing across the fish pond as he did. "Ruuuuunnnnnn!"

"Watch that tea!" Ranma exclaimed just before he and his father got splashed. "Tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-tk-TK!"

"Gronk!"

"My kitchen!"

"Our house you mean! Do something, Daddy!"

"Gronk!" "Hsssssaaaaaa!" "Runnnnnnnnn!"

One of the Amazons pointed something out. "If deal was to get dojo, dojo currently flattened. Dojo go bust, deal go bust. Is darn pity, yes?"

"SAOTOME!"

"Excuse me, but my name is John Hammond. Can we talk?"

---------

"Greeakkkk?!"

"The contract is for five years," explained Nabiki. "Until then - no hot water during any time the park's open. It's in the contract and legally binding. The Amazons can work security and the food booths. I, of course, am one of the main ticket collectors, and we all know how lucrative this dinosaur theme park concept could be."

"Greak-kk. HONK!"

"Well, you couldn't expect them to open a theme park with only TWO dinosaurs and a giant sloth, could you Akane?"

=====
possibilities:
Ranma Saotome: Utahraptor
Genma Saotome: Giant Ground Sloth
Ryouga Hibiki: Anklyosaur
Mousse: Stegosaurus
Akane Tendo: Triceratops
Soun Tendo: (offer him some money?) Emu

villains:
big game hunters/poachers
environmentalist extremists
religious sect leaders who want to kill the "beasts"
religious sect leaders who want to worship the "beasts" (you *know* they'd have to kidnap Akane for this)
Cruella DeVille types (just think of the suitcases we could make out of that triceratops!)
etc.

Alternate ending provided by SHADE:

*$*$*$*$*$*

The storm had come and gone, and taken the island's state of the art security system with it.

"Eh.h-heheh... you do know there was nothing personal about this? Right Ranma?"

Nabiki backed away nervously from the coldly staring raptor.

Where was everybody else?! Her father had said he was going out to try and get the power back, and hadn't come back yet. Kasumi had exited the control room in order to cook some dinner. So now here she was, all alone with someone she'd exploited, imprisoned, and condemned to a life of having to deal with her sister Akane on a 24-7 basis with *no* way to get away from her.

She'd signed off on the paperwork herself as Ranma's legal agent, with the park open 24-7 he'd be unable to change back. For that matter Akane and all the others introduced to the Jusenkyo cursed waters.

*Tik* *tik* *tik*

Ranma exposed a lot of *very* sharp teeth in what might have passed for a grin.

*Cough*

And then spit out what looked like the torn and stained sleeve of a brown gi.

"DADDY?!"

*Hrough*

A white hair ribbon.

"KASUMI?!!"

*Putooie*

The various rings, earrings and a solid gold rolex that Hammond had been wearing almost went unnoticed.

"Wait! Can't we make a deal--AAAAAHHHH!!!....."

The sounds of a satisfied raptor continued for some time after.

-Epilouge

A slightly plumper Ranma stuck his head out in the morning sun.

He bobbed his head, today would be a good day.

*Tik* *tik*

A second smaller raptor joined him as he stepped out.

They needed to make a nest soon.

Ukyo was already close to laying her first clutch...

-Fin...perhaps.