Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction / Tokyo Babylon Fan Fiction ❯ The Bet ❯ Annex: Memories ( Chapter 6 )

The Bet:

Annex: Memories

Disclaimer: Both Card Captor Sakura and Tokyo Babylon belong to CLAMP, not me, and I make no money from this work of fanfiction whatsoever.

He could remember what happened, quite clearly.

Little ten year old Touya stood with his father and little sister, holding her hand as she looked around in confusion, wondering why all the adults were crying. Touya knew, but he couldn't explain to her. Their mother had left them. She had gone in the middle of the night, after using her papers to make people think she was sick.

He remembered watching her leave, silently, and she had turned away... her face wet with tears. Now he had to watch while everyone around him cried for her. He felt like crying too, because she had left them.

Blinking, he looked up to see an enormous two headed raven fly through the church sanctuary. Following it with his solemn eyes, Touya looked to the door to see that Nadeshiko Kinomoto was leaning against the door jam, with a smile of cruel amusement curving her lips. She no longer wore the cheerful, fashionable clothing she modeled. Now she was dressed in a black kimono, embroidered with pink cherry blossoms, her hair bound, face whitened with rice powder. She beckoned to him.

Nodding, little Touya let go of his sister's hand, knowing she wouldn't notice a thing. He felt his mother's illusion around them both, concealing them from normal eyes.

"Hello, Touya-chan. Have you been well?" the words were perfectly correct, but there was nothing in her voice but cool detachment. Touya trembled, the tears he had refused to shed coming frighteningly close to the surface.

"Mommy," he said softly, not looking away, face calm as he struggled to hide the emotions near to overwhelming him. Nadeshiko had been adamant he learn to do that. "Mommy, everyone misses you. Daddy and Sakura are sad."

"I know they're sad," she sighed, head bowed, and for a moment something flashed across her face that could have been regret. "Yet I had to do this. One day you'll understand."

"Why do adults always say that?" he sounded very annoyed now, and his mother tossed back her head and laughed. It was not his mother's warm, generous chuckle- now it was like listening to nails grating on slate.

"Why don't I start telling you things then?" her voice was perfectly normal now. Like it had been before she left. For some reason this terrified him all the more. "I will start showing you what I do from now on... and then you tell me later if you really wanted to know them." She took his hands. "I will teach you everything I know."

"But you showed me stuff already," he frowned at her. "You said you were going to teach Sakura even more than me."

"No, I don't think I'll be showing Sakura anything at all. I need you, little Touya. I need you to learn, and grow up strong so that when my burden is given to you... you can do it. But not right now. I will come back and teach you. Then I will make you into what you were born to be."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Fifteen year old Touya walked to the Tsukimine shrine, attempting to keep his breathing normal as he followed his mother's shikigami.

It had been three years since he had last seen that bird, since his last lesson with her. It was during those lessons that he had learned that what his mother was- and which he had no desire to ever become.

"You've grown." The voice whispered from every direction, and Touya didn't even bother to try to find the source. There was neither approval or reproach in her tone. She was merely stating a fact.

He didn't think Sakurazukamori would kill him- so she had to have summoned him for another reason.

"Its been three years. What do you want?" he said, his tone flat as hers.

She appeared beside him, as usual, dressed in her black kimono. Touya did not flinch, did not move at all. Yet he saw something in her eyes that he hadn't thought was possible.

He saw pain.

"I never thought that when I started to play with your father, that I would ever feel something as insidious as love. Yet I stayed, when all I needed was to bear a child to be my successor after I took up my own mother's position. I never thought, that even after I became Sakurazukamori, some of those emotions would linger even though my heart is bound."

Touya said nothing.

"I come here to make you a proposition, Sakurazuka Touya. You will hate me for it. Yet it is necessary, just the same; as necessary as my position."

Touya felt dread begin to grow in his gut, deep down, like someone was shredding his heart and stomach and intestines with shattered glass.

"When you were a child, I had chosen Sakura, your sister, to be my successor. She had the proper name, and immense power. You've felt it as well as I."

There was a long pause, and Touya tensed. His little sister was in danger- a danger worse than death. He had to defend her, but-

Touya went completely limp as he realized what his mother was saying. What her 'proposition' was.

"You want me... to become Sakurazukamori."

"Yes."

Touya knew what had to occur for him to take up that mantle.

"If you decide to not do it," she looked up at him, as he was far taller than she now, and her green eyes bore into his soul. "I will take Sakura. Tomorrow. She will begin her training to succeed me. She will go through the training I put you through..." here she brushed a hand over Touya's face, before tracing his lips with her forefinger, then down the side of his throat. "And she will become the most powerful onmyouji in the history of the world. Then humanity will suffer."

Touya shuddered, gasping as he felt iron bands constrict his chest.

"Do I- do I have time to think about it?" he begged quietly, as the wind started to howl.

"You have until tomorrow morning. Then I will take her. And, Touya," she took his arm, whispering in his ear. "Do not think you could ever run away with her. I will always find you."

Touya couldn't look at her anymore. Turning away, he left, to pick Sakura up from practice. He was late.

"You're right, mother. There are so many things I did not want to know."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Touya sat next to the door to Sakura's room, listening to her breathe as she slept.

He had taken as shower after bringing her home, trying desperately to wash away the blood from the man he had killed. He would be the first of many, Touya knew.

There really was no choice. Sakura, while she was strong, was so very innocent. She had not seen their mother do horrible things.

He remembered what she had said to him during her funeral. "Yes, this is what I was born to be," he hid his face in his hands, before curling up into a fetal position. "There are no coincidences, only the inevitable," he quoted, remembering Kaho, starting to chuckle hysterically.

"I wonder if this will count as a part time job?" he asked himself, tears starting to finally fall.

"No, of course not. It's a full time position..."

He couldn't believe he was considering this. Considering becoming a murderer. He was fifteen, for god's sake... Then he remembered the pain on his mother's face. She-

Oh gods, could he do this?

A muffled sob came from Sakura's room, and his head whipped around to see the little girl crying in her sleep. Standing, without thought, he went and stroked her hair. She quieted almost immediately... and Touya knew he could do this for her. If nothing else- he would spare her from his waking nightmare.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Nadeshiko watched through the eyes of her shikigami as her son approached the shrine, walking with firm, unwavering steps. He had made his decision- the one she had wanted.

It was humorous, in a sad way... He walked up to her, eyes shadowed with grief.

Neither spoke as she approached, and he turned his eyes.

"Mother... is there any hope for me? Any chance for redemption from this hell you are so easily condemning me to?" he whispered, desperate for some chance he could be rescued.

She smiled sadly. "Your spirit vision won't permit all the spell bindings to work on you. You will keep your emotions."

Even the numbness was denied him. He would carry this weight on his soul.

"Love is the only thing that might lighten this for you. The love of your heart and soul could save you. If someone were to love you as you were..." she shook her head.

Touya choked, bracing himself, and Nadeshiko opened up her kimono, offering her naked breast to him. He cupped her face one last time, looking into her beautiful face, and leaned in to give her one final kiss... before slamming his fingers through her heart.

The wind had stopped, and the wet squelch of his hand inside her chest echoed allt he more loudly. Falling backwards, she gave him a brilliant smile, even as her body dissolved into petals before his eyes.

"Oyasumi, okaasan."

Falling to his knees, Sakurazuka Touya wept.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Touya stared at the fax in one hand.

It was the first. He wondered how many more would come. It was from the government, about killing some leader of a quasi-religious organization that was causing more havoc than help to teenagers. This person was also trafficking in drugs... Touya chuckled hysterically.

He had been to visit the Tree the other night, and it had not been exactly thrilled with the change in management. It had liked Nadeshiko's style...

Crumpling up the paper in one hand, he found his lighter, lit a cigarette, and burned the fax without another word. He turned to his closet, and changed from his bus boy uniform to tee-shirt and jeans... He wouldn't be given a second glance.

He took a drag from his cigarette and walked out the door, laughing a little bitterly. He had a date tonight with Kaho. Touya wondered what he should tell her- that he couldn't go because he had to murder someone? He had no doubt that he could do the murder; Nadeshiko had trained him very well. He had killed before to save Sakura. But he felt so sick, knowing that he would be taking money for this...

//Quit whining and do your job,// snapped a voice in his mind, and Touya growled. The Tree, of course. Why did such a thing have to be so sarcastic?

//This is my first job, and its not like I had much of a choice in becoming your caretaker.//

//That is NOT my fault,// the tree complained. //You were too strong, spiritually, for all the necessary spells to affect you. Maybe had your mother started training you when she should have, they would have worked, but nooo... those stupid feelings of hers kept her from doing it.//

Touya and Tree-san had been having this argument ever since he had taken on this job. He refused to kill innocents, and it was having hunger pangs.

//This means you are going to have to take more jobs after this first one,// it said with an air of finality. Touya, sad to say, agreed.

He really didn't want to kill people just because they were handy- and the Tree could very well force him to do it.

The money would be going to the bank account his mother left him- one that was nearly untraceable. Then again, the government wasn't really going to let anyone investigate him... They didn't want to bother as someone as powerful as Sakurazukamori, or lose their favorite assassin.

Stomping his smoke out, he walked down the street... and that evening, carried out his first assassination.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Touya looked at the beautiful grounds of Tsukimine shrine, shrugging off uncomfortable memories as he waited for the one true light he had left to meet up with him. It was a festival night, and party goers were tromping around the grounds, and Touya wondered if he would ever look at people the same way again.

He had killed five people in the time since he had become Sakurazukamori... and all he had to look forward to was Sakura, and Kaho.

"Boo," someone giggled in his ear, and Touya jumped, nearly grabbing his ofuda. Thankfully he didn't, because when he turned his shadowed eyes, he stared down into the beaming face of Kaho Mistuki.

She leaned forward... and whispered into his ear...

"Study abroad?" his voice was strangled. "When?"

"Tomorrow." Her voice was as pleasant as if she were announcing dinner.

"But," he felt so lost. "Is that too soon?"

"Its not," she leaned against his chest... Touya was hard pressed not to make comparisons to his mother. She was even dressed in a kimono. "I made the decision two months ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?" his voice was now deathly quiet, and Kaho just smiled... but his tone made her smile turn sickly.

The despair that her presence had kept at bay until now scrambled to claw at the edges of his heart. Now he would have no one, no one to love him for what he was... He was going to drown soon in horror.

Kaho, oblivious to what she was doing, kept smiling. "It would have bothered you, wouldn't it? I'd hate to go out with you just to feel sad."

Touya was sinking.

"Its been a year since the last day of my student teaching. That was the day you told me "I love you," right here, at Tsukimine Shrine. On the way home from school, remember?"

She spoke softly into his ear. "I was so very happy. I loved you a lot, too. I did have a lot of fun with you."

"What's with," he swallowed. "The past tense?"

"Because its the past," she cupped his face, and he tried hard not to flinch away, as flashbacks of Nadeshiko filled his mind.

"Let's break up."

"Why?" his tone was strangled. Had she found out? Would he have to kill her now?

"Because when I come back... You and I will both be in love with other people."

Relief and pain warred with each other, and Touya foundered. He had no idea what to do or say... He didn't think he could love anyone now. He didn't want to. No one else would know him like Kaho- no one else could possibly understand...

But then again- she didn't either.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Touya narrowed his eyes, both in humor and in annoyance as his little sister and Yukito entered the tea room of the aquarium. His current target was there, which he was monitoring. He really did not want to handle those two distractions, but part of him delighted in watching their interplay. Yukito, being cutely oblivious on purpose, and Sakura dressed up for a date, as they ordered snow cones.

His little monster was keeping secrets these days. It bothered him a little, but he watched her from the shadows as she captured those cards, and had come to the conclusion, after watching one of her Captures, that she wasn't in very much danger. Yet. There was a particularly strong Card here as well, and he wanted to be on hand should anything happen to her, and-

He could feel the Card being particularly pissed off about something, and he frowned as he saw the aquarium glass crack, webbing its way down. Water flooded the area, and he swam, trying to find his little sister and the snow bunny- completely forgetting his prey.

"SAKURA! YUKI!"

Growling, he would have trapped the damned Card himself if he wasn't so concerned for his two... people. There- Sakura- picking her up, he carried her to the stairs as the water started flowing away.

"So, Sakura," Yukito sighed, and Touya smiled a bit, seeing that he was carrying the axe. He must have made the water drain away. "I'm sorry that those snow cones went to waste."

He's emphasizing that, Touya blinked, looking at the non-human sharply. Its like he's trying to tell her something.

It doesn't really matter now, that they're safe. I'll keep my shikigami after them tonight, but I still have to kill the owner. I'll do that while they were catching that Card...

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Touya could feel that something big was happening. Turning, he killed his prey quickly, before running out of the restaurant he was working at to find out what was going on. He almost forgot to clean up his mess.

Snorting, he wondered if his father or sister noticed that none of his previous employers seemed to remember who he was. Or that he never used references. Or that he had far more money that his many part time jobs should allow. He doubted it- he was particularly good at memory charms. So far he'd only been caught once with bloody clothing, and Sakura hadn't asked about it- just started teasing him about a rough soccer match. Thankfully he HAD been in his uniform.

A few moments later and he realized he was heading back to that place which held so many memories: good, bittersweet, and agonizing.

Tsukimine shrine.

Concealing himself completely within his maboroushi, Sakurazukamori narrowed his eyes at the scene in front of him. Sakura was dressed in one of those Tomoyo-chan Specials, looking absolutely ridiculous, blushing and sputtering. Next to her was that brat and Tomoyo herself.

And Yukito was rising into the air, glowing. Sakurazuka nearly growled, but contained himself as a pair of wings emerged from Yukito's back to cocoon him. From that, emerged the most beautiful being he had ever seen.

So, this is what you were hiding? Touya mused to himself. His heart wanted to tear in two, as he saw the sweet Yukito become this new person, seeming without care of what he was doing... then he laughed, his mother's laugh, harsh and mocking. He, off all people, should understand being cruel, but hating it. Maybe this Yue was no different. Maybe he and Yukito had more in common than he would ever imagine. One false face, one real one, and never knowing which one was true.

He found it oddly funny... Kaho was there, and acting, as always, as if she knew everything that was going on.

That would kill her one day, he was sure of it.

Then they mentioned what would happen if Sakura failed. That everyone would forget their most beloved person... Touya frowned, crossing his arms.

He would not let that happen so easily. The power of the Clow was great... but so was his own. Even if he had to kill half of Tomoeda to do it... he would not allow that to happen.

"I thought that, without hesitation. What have I become?" he murmured, watching as his sister fought for those she loved, yet not wanting to hurt Yukito. Touya readied himself to intervene- he did not care about Cards or Judgements, but his own two most beloved people were out there.

Then Kaho smiled, and gave Sakura her Moon Bell.

"Sakura, you lead such a charmed life. I hope you never know what has been given to you, and sacrificed for your sake."

He wanted to laugh at this farce of a Judgement. Yue was bitter as the full moon on a winter night, pronouncing her worthy. But his heart warmed, just by the slightest of margins... as Sakura said she wanted to be his friend. Then he returned to Yukito... and Touya appeared in time to catch him as he collapsed.

"What are you doing out so late?" he asked, smiling a bit at her. The darkness hid the blood spatters on his clothes- and if they didn't... well, he could pass them off as a bad night at his latest part time job. "And what's with the get-up?"

Scooping up Yukito, Touya looked at Kaho, who froze under his gaze. He would need to deal with her eventually... but he couldn't bring himself to do it. Not when he remembered the love he had felt for her once.

"Let's go home, kaijuu."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Touya carried Yukito into the infirmary...

He felt like he was carrying himself to his own funeral. In a way he was. He knew that if he went through with this, he would basically be losing himself. All that had kept his soul intact was his spirit vision- it had repelled the most intense of the spells creating Sakurazukamori.

He still felt sick with each murder. While he had resigned himself to his fate, he still could not carry them out without remorse. That was how, in a morbid way, he knew he was still Kinomoto Touya. Sakurazukamori had yet to completely win out.

That was about to change.

Gods... he could see Yukito disappearing even as he walked to the infirmary. The Guardian was becoming lighter and lighter, the sun shining through his pale skin.

The trip to the school infirmary took longer than he ever thought it would. Putting his dying love down, he ruffled his hair, and wondered how much longer he would have to enjoy touching him. Enjoy anything, for that matter.

"To-ya?" Yukito looked up at him, eyes unfocused. His glasses were next to him on the bed. "Did I fall asleep again?"

"Yeah," Touya's eyes were NOT unfocused as he looked down at the dying Guardian. "In the middle of gym."

//Go ahead and get it OVER with,// The Tree said softly in his mind. //He won't last much longer.//

//I'm afraid.//

//You won't have to worry about that after you're finished,// it pointed out.

//Go fuck yourself.//

"There... must be something wrong with me." It sounded like staying awake was too hard for him. Even breathing was becoming difficult. Touya thought he could smell death about his... friend. "I'm just so sleepy..."

Touya's voice was intense. "There IS something wrong with you," he almost spat it, terror making him sound angry. "You can't figure it out!"

Yukito looked almost afraid. "Huh?"

"Yuki- you- I-"

"EXCUSE ME?? Is Tsukishiro all right in there???"

Touya didn't react at first.

"I'm fine, Akizuki!" Yuki chimed, trying to put some strength into his voice. Touya was getting pissed off- because he knew that Akizuki was the same as his Yuki, and that Akizuki was trying to feed off his powers- and there was no way in hell he'd let that happen. He nearly lost his nerve to give them to Yuki as she kept screeching.

"Touuu-yaa," she whined. "The teacher says you have to come back for the baseball test!"

"I'm kind of busy here," he said, and turned to her, trying to keep his normal teenage facade up. He wondered if he could rip her soul out and feed her to Yukito... But he didn't have a contract out on her.

"You'll get a ZERO on the test if you don't go!" she said in a sing-song voice, leaning in through the window.

This was it. If he wanted an out, he could take it.

"Everyone's COUNTING on you!"

Gods, he couldn't do it... He didn't want to lose what was left of his humanity, even if it was to save Yukito.

"I'll... I'll come back right after this is over."

//He'll be dead by then,// the Tree told him.

//Go fuck yourself.//

//I have. I'm self-pollinating, you know. I do it all the time. Its why you keep feeding me, so I'll stay in bloom.//

"Okay." Yuki closed his eyes, and Touya turned away. He couldn't stand to watch this lingering death anymore.

"I'll go on ahead, Touya-kun!"

Damn you for sounding so cheerful.

Touya tried to walk out- but something caught his arm. Blinking, he looked down at the snow bunny... Who was blinking up at him like he didn't understand what was going on himself.

"What's wrong?" the faint voice became even more so as he spoke. Touya noted he could see through the hand gripping his shirt.

"Oh!" Touya stared at his hand as well.

"Mother," he whispered. "I understand now."

"TOOOOUUUUU-YA-KUN! Hurry up!" Akizuki called from the window, noticing he hadn't moved.

"Tell the teacher I don't care about the test." He kept his eyes on Yukito- whose expression had turned pleading.

"Wh- what? But, he'll get mad! You'll let your team down!"

"So?" Touya barely heard her. Yes mother, today, I understand.

Akizuki nearly jumped in through the window. "So, Touya-"

He whirled around and lunged, putting his hand on over her heart, if she had one, and let a bit of his power seep through. He knew she could feel it, and the look in his eyes let her know EXACTLY what he would do if she didn't shut up.

"I need to talk to Yukito," his tone held the stillness of the grave. "Stay out of my way..." He grabbed the certain, his eyes holding no more expression than a hunting falcon's. She tried to smile at him- get his attention- then he closed the certain.

//Now,// Tree-san laughed. //SHE can go fuck herself. Now get this over with.//

Sighing, he sat down next to Yukito on the bed, and cupped his face. "Now, Yuki, listen... I know you aren't human..." he smiled, even as he felt himself start to shake. "So you don't need to hide from me anymore.

You're more human than I will ever be, he felt like saying. In a few moments, I'm giving you what humanity I have left. I hope you, or the other you, can use it.

The winged cocoon formed around Yukito as he fell backwards, his eyes closing, and floated off the bed. It opened a breath later, revealing the glowing, moon-pale form of Yue.

"So, we finally meet face to face," he smiled gently, in a humorous, self-mocking way. "And you are?"

Silence greeted him. Oh, how he found this to be funny.

"... Yue."

"Yukito didn't want you to know that he wasn't human..."

So, we have even that much in common. I didn't want you to know I wasn't human, either.

"That he was only a temporary form of Yue... So I couldn't return to my true form in front of you."

Touya nearly laughed, but kept it in. I can't exactly return to my true form in front of you, either.

"Yukito didn't realize what he was feeling. When he stopped you from leaving, it was subconscious, but that subconscious movement betrayed his true emotions."

Touya looked away, and closed his eyes, letting out a deep breath.

"You are... special to Yukito."

The Sakurazukamori looked back at the Moon Guardian, their eyes meeting. Yue flinched back for a moment... Even he could see the power there, though he didn't know its source. Then Touya was back.

"You once told," Yue paused, like he couldn't decide what word to use. "Him, you didn't want to lose him."

Touya nodded.

"But the current master doesn't yet have the power to uphold Yue's existence."

Touya's mouth quirked, as he realized Yue was talking in third person. Who was asking him- Yue or Yukito? Temporary form, indeed.

"Do you know what needs to be done?"

"Yes," he answered without hesitation. The Tree had told him ages ago. "If the powers I was born with can keep Yukito alive, I'm willing to give it to you- both."

Yue held back. "You won't be able to see your mother again you know."

Now Touya DID laugh.

Yue had to be unnerved by the relief there. "Well, I suppose its not fair that I'm the only one who can see her. Who ever really saw her. But- if I lose that power, I won't be able to tell when Sakura is in trouble as easily." He left out his shikigami. Or the fact he could use onmyoujitsu. He was strictly telling the truth to Yue... Just not all of it.

He stared into Yue's eyes, trying to convey the weight of his request. "Will you take care of her for me?"

I won't care after this. She could be my next victim. I need you to keep her safe- from me, if necessary.

"I don't need to promise." Yue looked insulted. "I would give my life to protect my master."

"I don't want you to do THAT," Touya glared back. "After all, if you disappear, Yukito disappears, too." You keep thinking you're separate if it makes you happy. I know that you aren't. "I want you to protect Sakura... but you better protect yourself as well."

"Is that your condition for giving me your magic?" Yue crossed his arms... and Touya noticed he was floating in the air, giving himself enough height to match his own. Touya chuckled, and he felt like he was counting down the seconds.

"Yes," he paused, still wanting to draw this out, despite the fact he could feel Yue's life fleeing him.

"Very well," his voice was glum. What was Yue expecting? A wild night of passion? His first born, in exchange for his magic? "I'll try."

Touya laughed more. "You really are alike."

Yue raised his eyebrows.

"You and Yukito," he clarified.

Touya watched Yue float up to him, and grasp his shoulders, and he braced himself.

//I'm still here, Touya,// the Tree whispered. Power bled from him as Yue pressed his lips to the junction of his neck and shoulders, almost like a vampire, and then weakness...

Then the strained bonds of onmyoujistu that had been stretched and warped by his power snapped into place, cutting off his heart from the rest of him, and he knew no more.