Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ All For a Chance With You ❯ Who Do I Love? ( Chapter 5 )

All For A Chance With You

by Lyeza

Disclaimer: None of the characters in CCS belongs to me. They belong to Clamp. <shiver> Just imagine the horror that will occur if I own them. I only own Yazumi.

Hello, again! Thanks everyone for reviewing. Its really wonderful to know that people read and review my story. Ok, let's get on with the story.................................

Chapter 5: Who Do I Love?

The next day, in school

Syaoran was already in school waiting for Sakura. He looked at the clock worriedly. "30 more seconds before the bell rings," he thought. He hoped Sakura would reach on time. He turned to the seat beside him. Yazumi too had not arrived yet. "Maybe he's absent," Syaoran thought, slightly happy with that thought. "At least he won't be sticking beside Sakura like a leech." Suddenly, the door opened. Sakura and Yazumi entered just as the bell rang. Syaoran scowled.

"That was close," Yazumi said to Sakura.

Sakura giggled. "I know," she answered.

"This is just so fun," Yazumi said again. "We should do this more often."

"Hoe?" Sakura managed, sounding totally confused.

Yazumi smiled charmingly at her. The smile that he gave her would have made her melt a few days ago but strangely it did not seem to affect her much now. She smiled at him and walked towards her seat. As Sakura walked to the back of the class, Sakura noticed that Syaoran was watching her and Yazumi with a scowl on his face. "What's wrong with him?" she wondered.

"Ohayo, Syaoran!" Sakura greeted. Her heartbeat was starting to accelerate just by seeing him. She tried to hide her slight nervousness behind a happy smile. Ever since their kiss, they had not said much to each other. Somehow, Sakura felt as if he was avoiding her. Every time, she came to him, he would mumble something incoherent and ran off. When he answered her, his replies would be curt and she also noticed that he kept frowning into space as if something had bothered him.

"Ohayo," Syaoran mumbled. He could feel the colour rose in his cheeks and looked down at his book, his long bangs covering his eyes.

"Syaoran?" Sakura asked worriedly. "Is something bothering you?" Sakura asked as she peered down at him.

Syaoran's face turned even redder. "Get a grip, Syaoran! How can you let a girl affect you so much,"" he scolded himself. "Nothing's wrong, Sakura," he said, his gaze fixed on the open book on his desk.

"If you say so.....," Sakura said, sounding dubious but she decided not to press him. She then sat at her seat.

Oblivious to Sakura and Syaoran, Yazumi was watching them. Yazumi had his attention focused on Syaoran. He was not as dense as Sakura and knew the telltale blush on Syaoran's cheek. His eyes narrowed as he watched the two close friends. Then he looked at the book which he still held in his hands.

"Ummm, Sakura," Yazumi called.

Sakura turned to him. "Yes?" she asked.

Yazumi handed Sakura her book. "Here's your book," he said.

Sakura took the book from him and said gratefully, "Thank you for carrying my book for me."

"Its my pleasure, Sakura," Yazumi answered. Sakura smiled at him.

Syaoran who was watching the exchange stiffened. "Does Sakura really loves Yazumi?" he wondered. He had known and accepted the fact that he loved Sakura. "What am I going to do now? Should I step aside and give Sakura a chance to be with the guy of her dreams or should I make her love me?" Throughout the whole day, those troubled thoughts kept hovering above him.

During lunch,

"Where's Syaoran?" Tomoyo asked Sakura. Tomoyo, Sakura and Eriol was in the canteen having their lunch.

"I don't know," Sakura shrugged trying to sound as if she did not care. However, she could not stop the blush from creeping up her cheeks. As usual, it did not escape Tomoyo's shrewd eyes. She smiled and exchanged a knowing glance at Eriol. "He mumbled something about having to do research at the library," Sakura added.

"Sakura.........," Tomoyo began.

"Yes?" Sakura asked as she distractedly played with the straw in her drink.

"Do you love Syaoran?" Tomoyo asked bluntly.

"Yes. I love Syao.......uh ....What!!!!!" Sakura exclaimed when she realised what Tomoyo had asked. She blushed furiously at her answer. "Wha.....wha....at......are....you....talking....about?" Sakura stammered trying to hide her blunder but the damage was already done. Tomoyo smirked, her face an expression of triumph.

Sakura frowned. "Of course I love Syaoran as a friend," she said adamantly. Tomoyo and Eriol just nodded complacently. Sakura's face began to get even redder. "Umm.....I really have to go now. There's something that I need to do," Sakura said desperately as she stood up and rushed out of the canteen.

Both Tomoyo and Eriol watched as Sakura walked hurriedly away from them. "I guess, you got the answer that you want," Eriol commented.

"Definitely," Tomoyo replied triumphantly.

After lunch, during class

"Listen, class," Mr Terada announced as soon as the students settled down after lunch. "The school will be organizing a concert next month and our class has been selected to put up a group of performances for the concert."

The class cheered enthusiastically at his words. "Alright, listen here," Mr Terada said authoritatively, causing the class to quieten down again. "You can perform anything you want like dancing, singing, cheering, etc. You are also allowed to do in teams, pairs or even alone. It all depends on your interest and creativity. So, you should start thinking on what to do and once you have decided, please fill in this form and hand it up to me by tomorrow afternoon," Mr Terada continued as he showed a stack of forms to the class. Everyone nodded with understanding.

Satisfied, Mr Terada then put the forms aside and began to teach.

Throughout the lesson, Sakura could hardly concentrate and spent most of her time thinking about the concert.

"This is so great. I'll ask Syaoran later. We always do projects and performances together," Sakura thought enthusiastically. "Its going to be fun like always," she predicted. She could not wait for the class to end so that she could ask Syaoran about the performance.

After class,

"That's it for today," the teacher announced and left. As soon as the teacher left, everyone started to look for partners or teams to work with for the performance. Sakura immediately turned to Syaoran. Her heart fluttered when she caught him observing her with an inscrutable look on his face. The moment Sakura's eyes met his, Syaoran quickly looked down.

"Syaoran?" Sakura began uncertainly. She did not know why, but suddenly she was feeling very nervous. Syaoran looked back at her. "I was wondering if....if.......you........if you.....," Sakura stammered but just before she could finish her sentence, Yazumi came beside.

"Hey, Sakura," Yazumi said.

Sakura smiled at him. "What is it?" she asked, focusing her attention on Yazumi.

"I am wondering if you will like to perform together with me?" Yazumi asked, looking at her intently but Sakura could not miss the hopeful, earnest look on his face.

"Uhhhh....," Sakura said uncertainly. She glanced furtively at Syaoran, who was now staring at something outside the classroom; his expression hard yet unreadable.

"What should I do?" Sakura thought in panic. "Oh, come on, Sakura. Yazumi had just given you another chance to be with him again. What is there to decide?" her mind told her. Sakura hesitated. "Isn't that what you have been wishing for? Isn't that what you want?" her mind taunted. Sakura sneaked a glance at Syaoran again. "You like Syaoran, don't you? That is why you are starting to lose interest in Yazumi." Sakura shook her head at the thought as if trying to dismiss it out of her mind.

Yazumi, who had been watching Sakura shook her head, said disappointedly, "Its alright if you don't want to. I understand," he said turning away.

"No!" Sakura exclaimed, grabbing his hands. Yazumi turned back to her. "I will love to work with you," Sakura said, smiling at him. Inwardly though, a part of her saddened at the thought but she struggled to ignore it. "Yazumi had asked me first and I hate to reject him," she reasoned mentally. "Anyway, this is another chance to get even closer to Yazumi," she reasoned again. She knew she should feel elated at the prospect but strangely she did not feel too excited about it as she expected.

"Thanks, Sakura," Yazumi said. "I'm honoured."

Syaoran's heart dropped with disappointment when he heard Sakura agreed to partner with Yazumi. "What do you expect, Syaoran? Sakura loves Yazumi and of course, she will not reject him," he chastised himself. He knew he should have expected Sakura to perform together with Yazumi but.......why did he feel just now as if she had wanted to ask him to join her before Yazumi interrupted them. Syaoran shook his head. "Stop hallucinating, Syaoran. You are probably just imagining things," he thought, squelching whatever hope that Sakura might feel something more for him than just friendship. Unhappily, he stood up, lifted his bag and left.

Sakura saw Syaoran left. "Syaoran, wait!" Sakura called, wanting to walk home with him but he just left the classroom without giving her another glance. "I guess he did not hear me," she muttered, feeling very down.

"Are you going home, Sakura?" Yazumi asked, interrupting her troubled thoughts. Sakura nodded.

"Can I walk you home?" he asked. Sakura turned to him in surprise. "He wants to walk home with me?" Sakura thought. "Could there be a chance that he might like me?" she wondered.

"Alright," Sakura answered but her mind was whirling with thoughts. "What will I do if he really does like me? Do I feel the same way about him? Is being with him what I truly want? What about Syaoran?"

Trying to calm her troubled thoughts, Sakura then picked up her bag and let Yazumi led her out of the classroom.

Sakura and Yazumi were walking home together. While Yazumi chatted excitedly on and on about what they should perform, Sakura's thoughts drifted to Syaoran. "I wonder who will he be working with for the concert," she wondered distractedly. Then she frowned when she thought of his behaviour for the past few days. "Syaoran sure was acting so weird lately. Is it because of me? Somehow I feel as if he's avoiding me. He doesn't want to talk to me much anymore," she thought wistfully. Sakura stole a glance at Yazumi.

".........maybe we can sing a duet," he was saying.

Sakura smiled softly. Yazumi was just so sweet but Sakura knew that her feelings for him had changed. Yazumi was still the same, wonderful guy that she had thought him to be; probably even better; but she knew and accepted the fact now that all she felt for him was friendship and affection but not love. She did not love him in the way she had expected......she loved someone else. Sakura stopped and stiffened. "Does that mean I love........," she thought wildly.

Yazumi turned back to Sakura. "What's wrong, Sakura?" Yazumi asked worriedly. Sakura shook her head.

"Nothing's wrong, Yazumi," Sakura said. Dismissing her troubled thoughts, she walked up to Yazumi, linked her hand with his and dragged him along. "Don't worry about me," she said, reassuring him.

"If you say so...," Yazumi said softly but he continued to observe her bright, happy face. "She's faking it," he realised shrewdly but he decided not to press her. It was not because he wanted to give her privacy though; it was because he was afraid of the answer she might give him.

For the next few days, Syaoran diligently avoided Sakura especially when he saw her with Yazumi. "I do not want to spoil her time with the guy of her dreams" would always be his reason but he knew it was more than that. It hurt him to know that Sakura will not love him as he loves her and that Sakura loves a guy who was disgustingly perfect (A girl's dream). Every time he saw them together, it was all he could do to prevent himself from rushing up to Yazumi and tore him away from Sakura. He tried to avoid Sakura every chance he could but he knew Sakura was getting more confused and bewildered by his treatment of her. He knew Sakura would probably confront him when she could not stand his behaviour anymore. "I need to sort out my feelings first," he decided. Today, however, he could not avoid her as they always walked to school together every Friday.

Friday, on the way to school

As they always did every Friday, Sakura and Syaoran walked to school together. However, unlike the usual camaraderie and laughter that they always enjoyed, this time was filled with tension between the pair. Syaoran was walking quietly and briskly while Sakura just walked silently beside him, absorbed in her own thoughts.

"This is just so awkward," Syaoran thought, frustrated. Never once in his lifetime did he not know what to say to a girl. He always had a way with the girls and always knew the right thing to say them. This time though, he totally had no idea what to say to Sakura, his own best friend. "Say something, Syaoran? Just remove the tension," he told himself. "Talk about what? The weather?" he wondered desperately. "Just say something!!!!" his mind shouted.

"Ummm...," Syaoran began. "Nice weather today!" he blurted out. He turned to Sakura to see what she would react to this but she was too absorbed in her own thoughts that she did not hear him.

"Oh well! At least I've tried," Syaoran thought. It was silent for a little while until he heard Sakura exclaimed.

"I can't stand this anymore!" Sakura shouted, waving her hand in the air. Syaoran turned to her, shocked. Sakura stopped and faced him.

"What is it?" he asked confused.

"This!" Sakura said, looking up at him.

"What are you talking about?" he asked.

"We are not talking to each other anymore. For the past few days, you practically ignore me and avoid me. Now, you keep silent and don't seem to want to talk to me at all. What's wrong, Syaoran? Have I done anything to offend you?" Sakura asked.

Syaoran felt shame as he saw the hurt and bewilderment that was obvious in her eyes. In his effort to avoid her and try to stop his unrequited feelings for her, he had unwittingly hurt her. "No, you have not offended me," he answered.

"What then?" she asked.

"Yup, what then?" he thought to himself. "Umm.....you don't really offend me......but....," he began, still unsure what to say to her exactly.

"Its about the kiss, isn't it?" Sakura interrupted.

Syaoran looked down. "Sort of," he whispered. "This is your chance, Syaoran. Tell her how you feel," his mind told him.

Sakura gazed up at her best friend. "Is he repulsed by the kiss we shared? Does he think that I want him to be my boyfriend after that and hate the idea but yet too nice to say it to my face?" she wondered erroneously. "Oh, well. I'll put his fears to rest," she decided.

"Ummm... Sakura, I was thinking about us," Syaoran began nervously. "I....ah.....," he said but Sakura interjected him.

"Don't worry, Syaoran. That kiss meant nothing. It was just a lesson, for which I'm truly grateful. We should not let it affect us," Sakura lied.

Syaoran blinked at her words. His heart fell with disappointment. "But I......," he continued but again he was interrupted.

"I don't expect anything from you. Please don't feel awkward about it. I don't want our friendship to change. I like it the way it is now. I really treasure our friendship," Sakura said, pleading at him. She was trying to convince him that she was not affected by their kiss and it had meant nothing to her although it was not true. She thought that Syaoran was afraid that after the kiss, Sakura might want more from him and so she wanted to set him straight.

"What?" Syaoran muttered, trying to make sense on what she was talking about.

"Don't worry about it. There's nothing to it, really," Sakura was saying to him.

Syaoran smiled weakly at her. "I guess this is not the perfect time to tell her how I feel," he realised in despairingly.

"Friends forever?" Sakura asked, holding up her pinky in front of him.

Syaoran stared at her for a while. "Friends forever," he nodded reluctantly as they did the pinky promise.

"I'm glad," Sakura said as she smiled cheerfully at him.

Syaoran sighed. "So much for a heart-felt confession," he muttered under his breath. Then turning to Sakura, he said, "Race you to the gate." Then he ran away.

"Hey, not fair! I'm wearing a skirt," Sakura complained as she chased after him.

For days after that, things seemed to have returned as they were before. Sakura and Syaoran spent a lot of time together but there were times when Sakura spent her time with Yazumi to prepare for the concert. Syaoran meanwhile would be working with Eriol and Takashi. Syaoran sighed as he sank onto the bench.

"This farce can't go on," he thought wearily. Ever since their talk, Syaoran had decided to hide his feelings for her and pretended as if nothing had changed but he knew this could not go on forever. "What am I going to do?" he wondered. "Should I tell her?" He was too caught up with his thought that he did not notice Eriol sat beside him.

"You look like a man with a lot of things on his mind," Eriol commented.

Syaoran jumped. "Its you...," he said.

"Yes. Just plain old me. Anyway, you've looked very troubled lately. There must be a lot of things on your mind," Eriol remarked.

"Just one," Syaoran mumbled.

"Aaah…. Sakura," Eriol guessed knowingly.

Syaoran turned to him in surprise. "How do you know?" he asked.

"No one can miss the wistful, longing look you keep casting Sakura when she wasn't looking," Eriol said.

"That bad, huh?" Syaoran said.

"Even Yazumi noticed from the wary, calculated look on his face every time he looked at you," Eriol pointed out.

"Very bad," Syaoran commented.

"What do you intend to do about it?" Eriol asked.

"About what?" Syaoran asked back, feigning ignorance.

"Sakura," Eriol answered.

Syaoran raked his hand through his hair. "Sit and watch, I guess," Syaoran said.

"You will just sit by and watch as Yazumi take her away from you," Eriol realised in disbelief.

"What is so wrong with that?" Syaoran asked defensively.

"If I were you, I will fight for her," Eriol said.

"Well, I'm not you," Syaoran said.

"At least I will try to win her instead of just moping around pining for someone who is probably within my reach but too proud to even try," Eriol challenged. Syaoran remained silent. "I just hope you don't regret your decision, Syaoran," Eriol said as he stood up. "I'll see you tomorrow," Eriol waved and left Syaoran to his own thoughts.

Syaoran sat back as he watched his surroundings. "Pining for someone who is within my reach but too proud to even try," he thought, thinking back about his conversation with Eriol. Two girls passed by him. They recognised him and waved at him. "I can just find a girl to be my girlfriend. Maybe that will take my mind off Sakura," he thought distractedly as he nodded at the girls. He was seriously considering the idea but decided not to. "I don't just want any girl......I want only Sakura," he realised. "But should I fight for her or step aside and give Yazumi a chance to be with her?"

Meanwhile,

Sakura had just finished tutoring Yazumi with literature and was now walking home with him. "Sakura, why don't we go to the park for a while?" Yazumi suggested.

"Sure," Sakura agreed.

"This is so peaceful," Sakura said as they sat on the bench.

"Yes," Yazumi said. For a while, they just sat together, enjoying the tranquility of the park. Then, Yazumi spoke up. "Sakura, there is something that I have to tell you."

"What is it?" Sakura asked, turning to him.

"I.........I.... think you are such a wonderful person," he started.

"I think you are too," Sakura said.

"No. Its more than that, Sakura. I.....I...........," Yazumi said.

Sakura gazed up at him. "What does he want to say to me?" she wondered but as she looked into his eyes, she knew then what he wanted to tell her.

"Oh dear," she breathed. Panic seized in her as she thought of what she should do. "What should I do? Do I love him?" she thought wildly.

"I like you a lot, Sakura," Yazumi said. "I think that I lo.......," he began but Sakura stopped him.

When he said that, something snapped in Sakura and she quickly interrupted him. Raising her eyes to his, she said sadly, "Yazumi, there's something that I need to tell you first ........................"

To be continued...................

What is Sakura going to say to Yazumi? Is it "I love you"? Or is it something else? How will Yazumi react to that? Will Syaoran try to win her or will he just step aside to give Sakura a chance to be with Yazumi?

Stay tuned for the next chapter.

I hope you have enjoyed this chapter. Sorry about not pairing Sakura and Syaoran in the concert but I already have something else planned. I'm not going to reveal much but its going to play an important role in the ending [though its not going to be 'Yazumi got sick and Syaoran had to take over' kind of thing.] :o)

Thanks for reading.