Card Captor Sakura Fan Fiction ❯ What I Didn't Know ❯ Awakened ( Chapter 4 )

What I Didn't Know

Chapter 4-Awakened

Where was I this time? I really had to stop falling asleep wherever I happened to be. It was disconcerting to wake up and find yourself awkwardly slumped over a hard surface.

Ah. That was a clue, wasn't it? And I was sitting on the most uncomfortable chair ever assembled. Which meant that I was at school, and I had fallen asleep at my desk again.

Opening my eyes confirmed my suspicions. I quickly scanned the dark classroom and saw that I was alone. Good. I had a horrible crick in my neck, and it felt as if my spine had been compacted from hunching over the desktop. These desks were just not made for people like me. I wasn't freakishly tall, was I? How did the basketball players fold themselves into these chairs, anyway? I must bang my knees against the underside of the desktop at least three times a day, and I winced as I did so now. I stretched in my seat, apologizing to my muscles and bones for not giving them a more suitable place to rest. But at least my little nap would give me enough energy to get through the rest of the day. I hoped.

The haze of sleep slowly dissipated, and now I remembered how I got here.

And I groaned as I realized that I had chosen the worst possible time to succumb to my exhaustion.

It had been a week now since I met Yue, and all week I stood back patiently, sort of, while Yuki took the time to absorb the earth-shattering revelation that his life was not his alone. I'd finally learned to stop trying to interfere and let him bring it up when he was ready. It wasn't something I was good at, but I could tell he appreciated my efforts to be supportive without taking charge. The key word here being "efforts."

We'd been silently watching our movie at the school festival, the two of us sitting in the projection room, apart from everyone else. I'd been mentally repeating each line of dialogue as a means to stay awake. Darkness had a way of bringing on my fatigue like nothing else. Things had gotten a little better-the headaches were less frequent, my hunger could usually be sated with seconds instead of thirds, but the tiredness hadn't let up yet. I still felt physically lacking, somehow, and could only wait for all of this to eventually pass.

But we were sitting there, and I tried to focus on the scene being played. I hated watching myself. I just felt really stupid. I didn't know how I kept getting involved in these ridiculous acting projects. There was a reason I wasn't in the drama club. But this scene, these words, had a whole other meaning that no one else understood. For those few minutes, I hadn't been acting. Well, some would argue that at no point had I been doing anything that remotely resembled acting.

And then, from the chair next to me, I heard the first words that Yuki had spoken since the screening began. I almost thought I imagined it, because he said them so quietly.

"I'm not human. There's another me."

Not now, not now, I'd thought. I'd waited all week for him to talk to me, and I wasn't going to be able to stay awake long enough to have this conversation. It was a chore just to keep my eyes open.

I'd turned to look at him as he revealed his new understanding. The reasons for the gaps in his memory, the fact that the memories he did have weren't even real....

I had to stop him there. His memories were real, I'd explained, at least, the ones since we'd first met in tenth grade. I didn't know how long he'd existed before coming to school that day, but everything that had happened since we'd been together was real. I needed him to know that. "I don't know exactly what you are yet, but that doesn't matter to me. All that matters is that we can stay together."

What the hell did I mean by that?

But it must have been the right thing to say. "Thanks," he answered softly.

We'd left the room when the movie finished, and I fought back the overwhelming desire to sleep. I tried, anyway. Everyone noticed my struggle to remain upright and conscious, and they started worrying again. I hated that. I hated looking weak in front of everyone.

And where did Sakura come from? Had she been there the whole time? She was only a few feet away from me, and I hadn't even noticed. And there was Tomoyo and the gaki and Akizuki's... whatever. But not knowing that Sakura was there, not sensing her presence.... God, I was never going to get used to that.

I'd put my strong front back on so we could buy them drinks and sit with them. I'd wanted to keep my eye on them, but it was no use. I had to sleep. I had to leave right then, or I'd collapse right in front of them, the people I was supposed to protect. I couldn't do that without some rest first. With a final assurance to Yuki that I was fine and a teasing warning for Sakura not to act like a monster, I headed back to the classroom.

And that's where I was now.

I guessed I'd better go catch up to everyone, see what was going on. I stood up and stretched again. I'd taken off my school jacket and folded it up as a makeshift pillow, so of course it was now a crumpled mess, and I shook it out in a futile attempt to make the wrinkles less noticeable.

"So, you're awake."

I refused to flinch in surprise at her voice. Wasn't she done with me? I didn't have what I suspected she'd wanted anymore. But I turned around to face her anyway. "What are you doing here?"

"I go to school here, remember?" Akizuki retorted with a flip of her long hair. She was sitting in the window, and if it was strange for her to magically appear in a second story window, I didn't think too much on it. I didn't think anything would shock me anymore. She crossed her arms and assumed what was probably meant to be a pretty pout. Those tricks didn't work on me, especially coming from her. "Why are you always so mean to me?"

Oh, please. "Habit, I guess." I pulled my blazer on and started for the door.

"They're already gone, you know."

No, I didn't know. I faced her again. "What?"

"Tsukishiro-kun and Sakura-chan. They left already." She slid like a serpent from her spot in the window and walked over to me. "Looks like they forgot about you." Her hand reached out so that her fingers could walk along my arm. "How could they do that to you?" she clucked. "And after everything you've done for them."

I grabbed her wrist with my other hand. "What do you know?" I practically growled, grasping her wrist tightly.

"Mmm, I like this side of you, Touya-kun," she giggled, but there was something menacing about the amused look in her eyes. "Very manly. Very take-charge. It's quite sexy, you know."

"I'm not playing, Akizuki. What's going on?"

"What's going on?" she repeated innocently, blinking as if she had no clue what I was talking about.

"I know you're up to something. You and that creepy little boyfriend of yours."

"Boyfriend?" This time she looked genuinely confused. Then a wicked smile curved her lips again, and she laughed. "You mean Eriol? Oh, don't be jealous, Touya-kun. Eriol's not my boyfriend." Her tone made it sound like I was missing out on some great joke.

I'd never figure her out. I didn't even want to. "Whatever. Now, what is going on?" I didn't know my voice could sound like that, so hard and unyielding. I didn't like it.

"Hmm," she murmured, pretending to think. She put a finger to her chin and tilted her head, but her eyes were still dancing with laughter. Then she winked at me. "Can't tell."

I gripped her wrist with a force I'd never use on a girl, but she didn't even flinch. Instead she actually seemed to enjoy it. "I swear," I said, low and deadly serious, "if you do anything to hurt Sakura, or Yuki, or anyone, I'll-"

She cut off my words by pressing a hard, strawberry-flavored kiss to my lips. Before I could shove her away, she whispered something in my ear, and then she was gone.

Nope. I would never understand that girl. Or whatever she was.

Why did she grate on my nerves like she did? She was someone I ordinarily would have been attracted to. For some reason, she'd always reminded me of Kaho-that smile that said she knew more than she was letting on, that damn moon aura, and that long, long hair. I'd always had a thing for long hair. But, my God, she was the most aggravating individual I had ever met.

And, yet, her parting words were almost enough to change my entire opinion of her. She knew I didn't trust her, so she was trying to reassure me.

"Zettai daijoubu da yo."

Everything will surely be all right.

***

I stood on Yuki's doorstep, wondering if I should ring the bell. I hadn't quite gotten over the fact that they'd all forgotten about me and left me behind. I knew that I wasn't the center of the universe or anything, but you'd have thought that someone would have at least thought to check on me. Well, Akizuki did. So what did that say?

And, anyway, I still felt bad for flaking out on Yuki earlier. Was he really ready to talk about everything? With me? And was I ready?

I pressed the buzzer.

The intercom responded almost immediately. "To-ya?"

I was going to ask how he knew, but the answer was obvious. He'd always be a step ahead of me from now on. "Yeah, it's me."

"I'll be right there."

I smiled a little at the restrained eagerness in his soft voice. Maybe nothing had really changed after all. Well, sure, everything had changed, but fundamentally, he was still the same. He was still Yuki.

The door opened, and he stood there silently for a second. He was still in his uniform, although he'd taken off his jacket and tie. Maybe he'd been getting ready for bed. How late was it, anyway? "Hi."

"Hi. It's late, isn't it? I'm sorry. I should have-"

"No, it's fine. Come in." He left the door open for me to follow him inside. "I was making dinner. You want some?"

"Yeah, that sounds good." I hadn't eaten since breakfast. No wonder I was so hungry all the time. Not only had I lost my power, but I kept sleeping through meals. "Can I help?"

"No, I've got it. It won't be much, though."

I looked at the heaping plates of chicken, vegetables, and rice covering the kitchen countertop. Yuki's definition of "not much" was anyone else's idea of a feast. I grinned. "I suppose it will do." I leaned against the counter and watched him quickly finish preparing everything. He really was a good cook. I guessed he had to be, since there was no one to cook for him.

Like his never-seen grandparents. Another one of those false memories Yue had given him so that he would seem normal. How disheartening it must have been to realize that he had no family after all. But he remembered them. For him, they had existed. And now they didn't. They were gone. It was like... they had suddenly died.

What horribly depressing thoughts I was having.

"Are you all right?"

I wondered what my expression must be if he was asking me that. Apparently I was just standing there like an idiot while he sat down to eat. I quickly joined him at the table, folding my legs beneath me. He'd always preferred a traditional table, but it was a little awkward for someone of my height. But I managed. "I'm fine," I finally answered. "I'm sorry about earlier. I just couldn't stay awake."

"That's okay. I know how tired you've been lately." He looked concerned about this, and guilty, too. He was probably thinking that he was the reason for my exhaustion. Well, he was, but what other choice did I really have? It was either be a little tired, or lose my best friend. Pretty easy decision, if you ask me. At least, I'd thought so at the time.

God, I had to stop thinking like that.

"I'm doing much better, though," I reassured him, even though it wasn't completely true. "So, what did I miss?"

He looked down at his plate for a moment before raising his eyes to mine again. "Sakura-chan and I had a very interesting talk."

I'll bet. "Oh? What about?" I asked leadingly. Was that jealousy I felt, that he'd chosen to talk to her instead of me? Well, it made sense, considering that she knew more about Yue than I did. Oh, and she'd been awake. That probably helped.

"Love."

I almost choked on my tea. "Really?" I replied, and I managed to sound casual when I said it. But why in the world would she-Oh. Oh, God. "She didn't."

"She did."

My poor little kaijuu. She'd been harboring a crush on him for ages. We both knew it, but we never thought she'd say anything about it. "So, are congratulations in order?" I tried to joke, raising an eyebrow at him.

He didn't seem to think that it was very funny anymore. Well, we'd never actually thought that it was funny. We'd thought it was cute and sweet and, most of all, temporary. Besides, if my sister was going to like anybody, I'd rather it be Yuki than, oh, say, that gaki. "I think I hurt her feelings," he said quietly. "You're welcome to take a swing at me."

I'd always said that I'd beat the living daylights out of anyone who hurt my precious little sister. But Yuki had to know that I didn't mean him. "Maybe some other time, once I get my full strength back." I really needed to stop joking. It wasn't funny. Poor Sakura. "What did you say?"

"I don't know," he sighed. "I tried to explain that I was like a part of your family, and that's why she was confused. I think she understood, but...." His eyes clouded over a bit, and he looked away as he remembered what he told her.

Was that what it was? Was he like a part of our family? It did seem like it sometimes. And he didn't have anyone else. But why did those words bother me? Why did I feel like, somehow, I knew exactly how Sakura must have felt when he said that?

He took off his glasses and wiped his eyes. That he cared so much about Sakura's feelings meant a lot to me. It reassured me that he'd always be there for her and protect her, just as Yue had promised me. "And, so," he said now, pasting his bright smile back on, "now I'm out of the way so that she can find her true love."

He knew that would get me. "Oh, no," I said. "She's still a baby. I'm not letting anyone near her."

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously like "sister complex." I gave him my best glare, and he laughed. The first true laugh I'd heard from him in weeks. It felt so good to hear him laugh again.

It did?

We talked about inconsequential things as we finished eating, and then I helped him clean up the kitchen. It really was later than I'd realized, and Yuki tried to disguise a yawn. He didn't get a nice afternoon nap like I did. "Are you working tomorrow?" he asked as he walked me to the door.

"No. I won't be working until I get back on a normal sleep schedule. Why?"

"I was hoping we could talk. About... things. About Yue." He shifted a little when he said this. "I never thanked you. For what you did for me. For us."

What was I supposed to say to that?

"I'm so lucky to have met you," he continued before I could come up with a suitable response. "If I hadn't.... Well, I'm just glad I did."

"I know," I answered softly. "I'm glad, too."

But as I walked home, his words echoed in my mind. It wasn't because of luck that we had met. If Kaho had taught me anything, it was that nothing happened by accident. I knew now that I was meant to meet Yuki. I was meant to give him my power. It was inevitable. It was my purpose.

And if I had fulfilled my purpose, then what was to become of me now?

~~-~~

*Any Episode 66 dialogue was paraphrased based on different translations, so it may differ from what you see elsewhere.